• Member Since 24th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 minutes ago

GreyGuardPony


Just a simple pegasister who likes world building.

Sequels1



T

This story is a sequel to A Skitch in Time (Revised)



The threat of The Collector has been vanquished, and peace has returned to the land of Equestria. Everything should be back to normal, right?

If only it were that simple.

The nations beyond Equestria's borders now stare at the sister monarchs with suspicion, viewing them as potentially compromised and dangerous; forcing Celestia and Luna to play international politics while they hurry to keep tabs on wards and prisons for dark forces long sealed away.

Meanwhile, the former human, now pony known as Skitch-Sketch struggles to find purpose in her life in Ponyville. Fear of other threats dominate her nightmares, and to make matters worse she will have to face her most deadly foe yet...

A mortgage!

Oh yeah, and her cutie-mark is fading away too.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 214 )

I am really liking the cover image. Just putting that out there. I'll get the rest of your edits to you tonight.

This is what I have been waiting for!:rainbowkiss: I have to say this is much more than I was expecting. Your skills are not to go unnoticed in my book.:twilightsmile: I will stay along for the ride as I know it will be fantastic! :pinkiehappy:

~Unseen

Lab

Been looking forward to this coming out ever since the first one finished.

1.

Neighpon, the middle kingdoms of Wei, Wu and Shu, and the city states of Minos

I get Minos is the Minotaurs but what about the other four?

2. Blueblood, Must, DIE!!:twilightangry2:

3.

Akhem the Twice Cursed

the name makes me think of some kind of Demon

4.

Discipline

...is that a Draconequus name? It sounds like a Draconequus name.

3229970

Thanks a lot Lab! Really glad to hear that you were looking forward to this. Hopefully you'll enjoy it. :twilightsmile:

3231078

To answer your questions Zeus.

Neighpon is a play on the Japanese name for Japan, Nippon. If Celestia is allowed to make horse puns, so am I! :pinkiehappy: Picture Samurai ponies and that's what you got.

Wu, Wei and Shu are pretty much directly from the historical Three Kingdoms era of ancient China, after the crumble of the Han Dynasty. Most made famous from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms novels, which then got turned into the Dynasty Warrior video games.

The last two...well, I can't comment on what those two are without spoiling things that are going to be coming. But answers will come! :scootangel:

A squeal to A Skitch in Time

So this is a story for the fangirls of the first story?

At least it wasn't SAW or something as bloody. I doubt Fluttershy would handle it.

3231441

There is no way in Tarturus that Skitch-Sketch would ever show that franchise in Equestria.

The fact that I kind of hate it myself probably has a lot to do with that. :trixieshiftright:

3231449 She could show it to the Royal Guards as a prank. Kidding, but movies like The Grudge or the Resident Evil movies would elicit an interesting reaction. And please tell me she has a game console with some kick ass games I mean that's grounds for Luna visiting every night for a few rounds of Mercenary Mode on RE6.

3231467

Afraid not. The original draft of the end of the last story and the start of this one had Skitch with a lot more tech she hauled back. It came across a little...Mary Sue-ish to me.

The super movie/tv archive is enough, I think. :applejackunsure:

I'm a little confused. Is Blueblood trying to take over, or is he concerned that overreacting?

Ladies and gentlemen, Prince Douchebag in all his glory.

3232724

The general train of thought for the Canterlot nobility pretty much shakes down along the "concerned and overreacting" lines.

While I am decidedly not a fan of the whole "humans are bastards" meme when it comes to ponies, when the only contact one has really had with the race almost involves the destruction of reality, I can't blame them for viewing Skitch as an eldrich abomination wearing the skin of a pony.

The one real exception is Nouveau Riche, who is completely out for his own self interests in anyway he can swing it.

Just gonna say, I really love the story image. Its really nicely done.


Now, to commence reading!

3234798

Thank you very much Flicka! :twilightsmile: I pulled that together in Adobe Illustrator. A chess theme felt appropriate.

3233574Blueblood's still a dick.:ajbemused:

Also, something makes me feel like that mortgage payment thing is bad, and will actually make things worse if they pay the 300 bits. I'm no good at money matters. Is it a bad thing? Because I would think they would want to drop this on her at the very last moment.

Also, if Blueblood was just worried about Skitch, then he could do something himself, not try to get Celestia dethroned.

3236236

Hmm. Looks like I might need to tweak the wording in the chapter a little.

Blueblood is not trying to get Celestia dethroned. He's far to much of a coward to try something so dangerous. What he and the others nobles are trying to do is drive Skitch away and/or drive a wedge between her and Celestia.

Dropping the revelation at the dinner basically brings more political pressure towards Celestia to get the unicorn out of there.

In regards to the mortgage, yeah, it would make more sense for the bank to drop that dime on Skitch the day before it was due, or just kick her out right now. However, there are laws on the books (passed by Celestia, naturally), that prevent them from doing so.

They have to give her a week to make a good faith payment and get current, basically.

Hope that clears things up some. :twilightsmile:

3236935I think I'll restate my previous sentence. Blueblood is still a dick.:ajbemused:

And it did clear things up a bit. Also, if that was actually the bank pony at Skitch's door, then is Blue blood's hatchet-pony still coming?

3237061

Actually, the hatchet-pony was Nouveau's. He's the owner of the First Canterlot Bank, so his people are the ones who basically drop the bomb on Skitch's doorstop.

It's a happy coincidence that Skitch's cutie-mark seems to be fading, thusly making her ability to be able to earn the bits seem more impossible now.

Wow, love the world building! I like the allusions to Earth nations (your author's note really clarified that). I also like how they seem to be scattered across time, all those styles and cultures will be very interesting to see in action.

3238882

Thanks Mithrandir!

This is really what happens when 15+ years of playing table top RPGs like D&D, clashes with a new fun fandom to run around in. :pinkiehappy:

And I totally have plans for some of these nations for future fics!

Damn. First chapter and we already hit 10/10 level world building and plot establishing.

this might be a stupid question but I can't help it so here I go. Since it seems that every creature with hooves (and a lot without) are sentient in this world are Giraffes and Antelopes sentient or is it just Zebras? just wondering.:twilightsmile:

3239691

Ultimately, a lot of my decisions for which races are fully sapient came down to matters of what I think would be cool choices aesthetics wise, and that fit certain national looks I was aiming for.

I hadn't had any initial plans for those two, but I can definitely see antelope marching into battle along side their zebra brothers and sisters, because they would fit well along side the fast and quick striking Zulu warrior archetype I have for the zebra.

Giraffe, I'm a little less sure on. They might wind up as one of the missing species from Era of Nightmares. Or maybe they'll be along side the lions of Regula. Or maybe they'll have their own nation.

We will have to see. :scootangel:

Liked. Favorited. Now watching you.

You're good - Just keep it up!

3239995

Thank you Rune! Always nice to get another watcher. :twilightsmile:

3248375

So the general theme here seems to be...elk. :derpytongue2:

In all seriousness though, I'm sensing there is some dislike for them, unless I'm completely misreading things.

This was good. Your author notes has stumped my comment. Grr...

3250419
MMLLUUUUUEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
That is the sound elk make.
Elk.

She was just about to suggest that they pick something else when Twilight spoke up.
“So, Skitch, going to start the other one?” Pinkie asked.

So, Twilight turned into Pinkie, did she?

Ok, now for the good. The world building in this chapter was amazing; seeing all these countries and how they interact with one another is something I have always wanted to see int he actual show - so bonus points for that alone. Secondly, this conflict for Skitch looks pretty good - not only does she have financial problems, but she's losing her talent and Blueblood is out for her.

There's a lot of great possabilities in this fic, and I loved the first one, so yes, I shall continue the series.

Another great chapter. Sadly that's all I can say, because others have already said what I'd say -or I said it last chapter.

3253600

Thanks Samaru! Glad you're enjoying it so far. Hopefully you'll like the next chapter and the next interlude chapter too. :twilightsmile:

...Well...From a story about a male human turned mare saving the world into a story more of political intrigue, featuring less of the character I had grown to love... Oh...and no dragons in the alliance...Well that's two strikes... At least the characters are well thought out even if they were quite abrupt. So that's a check against a strike. Since I operate on a 5-strike system, with checks counterbalancing strikes, I can determine that this story is still worth the read. Oh...Hi 3253600. It's a pleasure seeing you here. What did you think so far?

3257737 Hey Ikio. In terms of the story, I think it is decent. I do agree with a few things you said, however; less of Jake is a bad thing - especially since I want to know why he decided to abandoned his family back on Earth (insert When a Pony Calls/The Alchemist's Heart joke here). The elk chapter was kinda long, but I love the world building aspect. However, the entire chapter did not need to be only about this one character; I got bored of seeing the Elk by the end. However, his character was still interesting, until he got boring. Jake's story seems like it's going in the right direction, but we only got half a chapter with her so far.

Final Summary; decent setup, but we need more time with our main character and less with the support.

3257768

Hmmm. Perhaps "Bonus Chapter" would have been a better title than "Interlude Chapter", as one could skip them without missing any of the main narrative at all.

Admittedly, I have the benefit of seeing how all the chapters stack together as a whole, so I might be seeing things a little on the biased side.

I hope that you'll all still enjoy the other parts as they go up though. :scootangel:

3257910 It's only the first two chapters, so there's lots of room to improve. But yes, less time with these side characters. Why did this Elk get his own chapter, for example, when Jake - the main character - only got half of her own. The rest was shared with Celestia and Luna.

3257768 I quite agree. How's Northern Lights coming along?

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