Chapter 30: Sleepless Night
Onto the Pony Planet
Chapter 30: Sleepless Night
Admiral Biscuit
General Helm Wind took the side exit out of the castle. Going through the courtyard wasn’t the fastest way back to the barracks, but he preferred it. Sometimes when the political intrigue got too deep, it was nice to unwind a little bit outside.
It was frustrating that the mission had been laid on in such short order, but he was used to frustration. His duty came when it came, whether that was convenient for him or not. Soldiers didn’t get to pick and choose the time of their service.
Perhaps Princess Celestia had wanted to wait until after nightfall to tell him, or perhaps that was the first bit of time she could carve out of her busy schedule.
He pushed open the door to the barracks, and there was an immediate clattering of hooves on the stone floor as his troops fell into order.
General Helm Wind inspected the ranks of his soldiers, all standing proudly at attention despite the late hour. “At ease, guards.”
He gave them a brief second to relax, before he spoke again. “I need two volunteers for a potentially dangerous mission.”
Every hoof in the room shot up.
He scanned over the faces of his soldiers, on the off chance that he’d somehow forgotten something important about them, but of course he had not. “Viridian and Cerulean Frost. Come to my office. Everypony else is dismissed for the night.”
Helm Wind led them into his office and nodded at the chairs there, but both stallions remained standing. A faint smile turned up at the corner of his mouth as he pushed the door shut with his wing, and then he stood between them.
“Before I begin, I want you to know that after I describe the mission to you, you may change your decision, and that will not reflect badly on you. Viridian, I understand that you speak the human language quite well.”
“As well as I can, sir.” Viridian shifted slightly on his hooves. “I have not had the opportunity to practice with a native Humanish-speaker.”
“Few ponies have,” he remarked. “Cerulean, you’re the strongest spellcaster.”
Cerulean nodded faintly.
“Princess Celestia has asked me to have two volunteers take a chest back to the island where she met Dale. It contains photographs of Dale and Kate, to show that they are alive and well, along with a letter explaining what happened and why we cannot return them at this time. She wishes for two ponies to carry the chest to the island.
“We do not know if there will be anypony on the island. Our previous explorations did not find any intelligent species, and yet when Princess Celestia visited, Dale was there, and on Lyra’s last visit there was a flotilla of ships and several soldiers dressed in blue, who may be opposed to Dale. Kate was among them.”
Much of this had been speculated on by the guard—while the full story was above what they were normally informed, many of them read the newspaper, and gossip always ran rampant in the castle. When General Helm Wind said it, though, it carried an extra weight of authority, because they knew he wouldn’t be lying to them, or concealing anything that he thought they needed to know.
“If there is nopony on the island, then you will simply leave the box behind and return without it. We trust your judgement in that regard—if it seems that the island is once again uninhabited, there is little point in waiting there all day for nothing. However, if you believe that there is a reasonable likelihood that any humans might pass by, you should wait.”
“Aren’t they potentially hostile?”
General Helm Wind nodded. “You should know that the blue soldiers confronted Dale almost immediately, and Kate attacked Lyra with an unknown type of stunning wand that shoots spell lightning—but only after Dale physically attacked them. Nevertheless, there is indeed a risk that they might attack you. They might be upset at the loss of Kate, or predisposed to fight anypony they think is an ally of Dale. We don’t know very much about their political structure at this point.” If Princess Celestia knew for sure, she would have told him.
“You must not fight them. If they attack, you may defend yourselves from an immediate barrage. If you can, retreat to safety and return, leaving the box behind. If you cannot, dismiss the spell and surrender yourselves into their custody. Is this completely clear?”
Cerulean and Viridian nodded.
“That is the worst case. Otherwise, attempt to find anypony who is willing to take the chest and present it to Kate or Dale’s tribe. Answer any question as honestly as you are able, and be extremely cautious with any magic—even simple spells appear to have the potential to harm humans, and could be misinterpreted as an attack.
“You will wear formal armor, and take no offensive weapons of any sort.
“Do you have any questions?”
“Should I bring a magic suppressor?’ Cerulean tapped his horn. “It might make them feel more comfortable.”
“You could not wear it while the spell was active, but it might be seen as a sign of compliance if you surrender.”
“If they allow us, we could write a message and push it back inside the shield before collapsing the spell,” Viridian suggested.
“Yes, but don’t force the issue.” Helm Wind frowned. “Perhaps—you could leave a flag inside the shield, and if you had to release the spell, it would come back and we would know. . . .”
Luna stood on her balcony, her eyes distant and unfocused. She had been patrolling the dream realms and had brushed up against Kate, rather unintentionally. The woman was hard to miss, though. Her dream patterns were strangely alien and completely broken, flickering and fading like a dying fire.
Luna knew that the doctors and nurses were attempting to wean her off the morphine; Celestia had mentioned that over breakfast. And Luna also knew that she would be especially vulnerable during the nighttime. There were monsters in the dreamscape even now, and they were always lured towards fear and weakness.
She looked over her shoulder at her chambers. Beatrix was asleep inside, resting peacefully although earlier she had had a nightmare which Luna had chased away. What monsters enter into her dreams? Luna had not asked. She and the showmare still had such a tenuous relationship that it was best not to push any further than she had to. Perhaps once there was more trust between them, she could get the unicorn to give her more answers, but now was not the time.
"Nightgazer." She turned to face the thestral who stood beside her Prench doors.
"Yes, my Lady."
"Wilt thou walk with us?"
He hesitated for a moment and then came to her, pressing against her side.
In her absence, the thestrals had patrolled the dream realms as best they could, although very few of them could actually directly enter a pony’s dreams. Mostly they stayed in the dreamscape and chased the darkest monsters away. Sometimes they could smash nightmares, although that almost always woke the dreamer.
Since her return, she had been trying to teach the thestrals how to properly work inside dreams, occasionally taking the most proficient with her. Nightgazer was one such pony, and as soon as she’d seen his potential, she’d kept him on the balcony with her throughout the night.
"What have we instructed thee about poisoned dreams?"
"Not to go in them, ever."
Luna nodded. "And yet, when needs must . . . thou shalt circle and if we cannot return, thou must destroy the dream, which shall wake her and free us."
He nodded in understanding and closed his eyes. Just before she shifted her focus to the dreamscape, she heard him chittering in the batpony language, telling the rest of her Lunar Guard where they were going.
• • •
It only took Luna a moment to focus in on Kate. Always now when she patrolled the dreamscape she saw them. Her mind had not yet grown accustomed to the strange new dreamers that lived in Ponyville, and they stuck out like beacons.
She did not see Dale, but that didn’t worry her—she knew that Raven had gone to Ponyville, and no doubt he was still awake, poring over the contract with her. Celestia had thought that Dale would be quick to sign it, but Luna thought otherwise.
Kate’s dream flared and then vanished before they could even close in on it, leaving the pair of ponies to fly to where they had been.
They circled around, waiting patiently for a new dream to form. Nightgazer watched, unperturbed, as Luna suddenly faded out, on the trail of somepony else’s nightmare. She had not asked for him to accompany her, so he did not.
When she had returned, he reported that a few nascent dreams had bubbled up around Kate and vanished just as quickly.
The two ponies circled, their eyes locked in on the dreamscape as Kate finally began to dream again. At first, it was no more substantial than a soap bubble, shimmering in the darkness. Then it began to grow, darkening and twisting almost like a zephyr as it expanded. Angry red jags the color of blood shot through it, darkening the borders wherever they touched.
On one side of the bubble, there was a small spot of the purest white, a shining bulwark against the encroaching darkness. Luna focused her attention on that spot, watching how it moved and pulsed.
It was the only sensible approach. Unlike everything else, it looked stable; it seemed like it could be an avenue in and an avenue out, so she reached out and very gently felt the essence of the white spot, trying to gain understanding of what it might be.
The white spot felt pony to her, and she furrowed her brow, trying to understand how that could be. She gently teased it apart, probing into it and felt the subtle touch of earth pony magic.
“The nurses,” she said aloud. “They must be feeding her strength.”
Dale’s dreams had been nested, she remembered, layers of senses built one atop another, and she feared that Kate’s dreams would be even worse. Nevertheless, she had to try, and if it all went wrong, Nightgazer would pull her back out. She knew that there was no malice in Kate; she was confused and in pain and on drugs, so if she got trapped it would not be by a malevolent spirit at least.
Luna focused in and shot through, only entering partway so that she could get a look around and see where she needed to go next.
The white spot was still there—smaller inside the nesting dream-bubble. It was not unlike the mouth of a lobster trap, narrowing until the lobster was inside the pot, but what choice did she have? She followed it down and through, piercing through layer after layer of dream.
As she had feared, Kate’s dream was so chaotic she couldn’t even begin to piece it together. She had no proper framework to build upon, for there was no sense to be made of the thoughts and ideas and images which coursed through Kate’s sleeping mind.
So she did the next best thing, and patiently constructed her forest glen, expanding it slowly, even as the edges were nibbled at by the creations of Kate’s mind. It was a dangerous task, for the morphine still held sway. Safer now, perhaps, because her healing had begun, but still very dangerous.
As she worked, Nightgazer patrolled by her side, keeping the phantoms of Kate’s mind at bay as well as he could, until Princess Luna had finally completed a stable construct.
“Remain close, but do not enter.”
Nightgazer nodded.
Once again, Princess Luna moved into her forest glade, fading out to nothing but an idea, a tenuous wisp that could be grasped and built upon by the dreamer. She was too vague and insubstantial to directly affect the dream, and yet, she was the lynchpin that it now revolved around.
In dreams, time had no meaning whatsoever, so she knew not how long she waited for Kate to stumble upon her.
• • •
At first, she felt the strange, uncomfortable shifting and twisting as Kate tried to make sense of her, and then she resolved into herself, which was a pleasant surprise. Even through the haze that had cloaked her mind, Kate remembered their meeting.
There was a time for speaking, but it was not now. She walked slowly across the dew-damp grass to Kate and sat on her haunches beside the girl.
Dream-Kate reached out a hand to touch her mane, and Luna lowered her head obligingly.
Her touch was electric, and Luna almost flinched back at the feel of the demons that coursed just below her skin, frantically trying to consume her. It was a feeling that Luna remembered all too well, and she shoved her own past away, becoming smooth and placid like the water.
She could take emotions from dreams, if she wanted to. It wasn’t particularly difficult. From outside the dream, she could see them orbiting around, leaving colored trails behind to disperse into the fabric of the dream, or pulsing out as a single, bright light. And it was not much different inside, although she had to split her focus slightly. But such a task was second nature to her.
The illusory reality of the dream-world faded, leaving everything transparent, floating in the center of a globe of thoughts and emotion. Kate’s part of the dream was ever-shifting, twisting and gyring in a mad dance, while Luna’s contribution remained rock-solid in the center of it all.
There was fear and pain and confusion all swirling around, darting at her, feeding off Kate. Her mind and body glowed and sparked with it all, shifting and twisting over her like a shroud. Luna studied it intently, trying to get a clear understanding of how it was all tied together.
She could take emotions from dreams, but not too many, and it had to be done carefully. Very carefully, because it was possible for them to catch her, and it was possible for her to pull too much out, to accidentally tear some important piece of Kate out and if she did, it could never be returned. Some magics were irreversible.
Even though she knew she wouldn’t, she could simply tell her sister in the morning what she had seen, and in the darker corners of her mind she knew she’d gloat just a little bit at the worried, guilty look on Celestia’s face.
—You are safe and welcome in my House. Luna reached out and speared a bright red mote of fear, watching it sputter and fade at the tip of her horn until it dissolved into nothingness.
The dream fought her, assailing the stranger in its midst. Whether those were monsters from outside that had been drawn in towards the dream, or demons that Kate had brought with her, Luna didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. Her horn lit again and again, pushing the dark forces into abeyance, all while she kept her forest glen a solid and secure haven for Kate.
Suddenly, the dream flickered, then shattered around her, fading into mist. Luna glanced upwards, where Nightgazer was still circling.
"I didn’t—" he began.
"We know," Luna reassured him. "She woke."
Dale couldn’t sleep.
Thinking of the contract would have been a good excuse for his insomnia, but the truth was that he wasn’t, not really. At least, not in the sense of a bit of language he could suggest be added in to clarify things a little bit, or to improve his understanding of what, exactly, his responsibilities were. Vague worries of his duties occasionally came to his mind, although whenever he tried to focus on something specific, he was completely unable to do so.
He kept coming back to the idea that he was too old, and didn’t know anything about diplomacy. That he was in over his head. Thus far, the ponies had been pleasant and amicable, but surely that was going to change. There would doubtless be other ambassadors who wanted to meet with him, ones who might not be as forgiving as Princess Celestia had been when he’d screwed up their meeting arrangement.
Even if Lyra tried to help him—and he was sure she would—she’d forget something, or he’d forget to ask the right questions, or not pay attention when he should have, and pretty soon he would have accidentally started a war with the bird-lions or cows or who knew what.
The smart thing to do would be tell Raven first thing in the morning that he wasn’t qualified at all, and that they ought to send him back and get somebody else to do it. Even if he didn’t want to leave, it was for the best. He had to think bigger than himself, bigger than what he wanted.
They said that they wouldn’t send me back. Or couldn’t. He struggled to remember. Which had it been?
A couple of years back, he’d messed up his shoulder at the machine shop. He’d been standing on an upended five-gallon bucket because it was closer than the stepladder, and it had slipped out from underfoot. He’d landed hard on his shoulder, and he’d heard a crack that sounded almost like a shotgun going off, and after that his right arm had stopped working right.
The doctor had told him what was wrong, but it was doctorese, and the only thing he’d remembered from the exam was that there wasn’t anything that could really be done about it, and in a few days it would start working normally again. He’d gotten a prescription for industrial-strength Advil but hadn’t bothered filling it after the pharmacy assistant had admitted that it was essentially the same as taking four normal Advil at a time.
By the time he’d gotten home, he’d already been unable to remember exactly what the thing in his shoulder that was messed up was called. It was some kind of ligament or tendon, probably, and if he’d really been curious he could have googled it, but after his shoulder had healed up, there was no point in remembering.
And that had been English, at least nominally.
I’ll have to ask Lyra in the morning. Won’t, or can’t?
Dale rolled over in bed, which if nothing else gave him a different view than the ceiling when he opened his eyes, and he tried to clear his mind.
He might have dozed off, or he might not have. He heard hoofsteps in the hallway, moving towards the bathroom, and the creak of the door shutting, and he wondered who it was. One of the nurses, perhaps; he could hear Lyra snoring softly in her room. It could have been Starlight or Diamond.
Of all the ponies at the embassy, he felt like he could trust them the most. Even Lyra was a bit suspect, since she was obviously somehow attached to their political structure.
Why wouldn’t they be? If he were being clever, he would staff an embassy with CIA agents. Maybe whoever was in the bathroom right now had stayed up late, writing in their journal, or taking pictures with a microfilm camera.
If they’re being subtle, they’ll have some kind of signal that there’s a new drop. A windowshade partially pulled, or maybe Starlight puts her wagon somewhere else.
A thousand possibilities whirled through his mind, until a weird moaning drew his attention. He sat bolt upright in bed, trying to figure out what that might be. It wasn’t Lyra; she was still snoring.
He pulled on his trousers and stepped out into the hallway, instantly locating the source of the sound as Kate’s room.
They’re not—his thought was interrupted as soon as it began, with the memory of the nurses at St. Mary’s. There was no way that they would even consider anything that hurt a patient under their care: he’d been dragged by his ear out of his cousin’s room when visiting hours ended.
Just the same, he walked down the hallway and paused outside the door. It wasn’t right to go into her room, and he didn’t want to knock and wake her up.
But he had to know, so he knocked very quietly on the door, and then waited until he finally heard hoofsteps on the floor.
He’d gotten used to the short stature of the ponies, so he was looking in the right direction as the pink nurse opened the door.
She blinked at him, and he stammered out an apology in the best Equestrian that he could muster, before asking if Kate was okay.
He only picked up a few words of her reply, and it wouldn’t have surprised him if half the words he missed were personal insults for showing up in the middle of the night, but he got enough to understand that Kate was okay, and he was sure that she had also included the hospital boilerplate that they were doing everything that they could for her, and what on Earth was he doing knocking on a patient’s door when she was sleeping.
Dale shuffled back to his room, feeling somewhat embarrassed at having drawn her away from her work. This would be so much easier to bear if they’d tried to keep me in the loop.
But what good would that have done? It would have been more difficult conversations, and unless they used simple terms for anatomy, he’d be doubly confused. And even if he did somehow manage to understand everything, it wasn’t like he could suggest a better course of treatment for Kate.
Before settling back into bed, he leaned out his window and looked down at the street below. The guard in front of the house was not subtle, even in the darkness; his white coat and polished golden armor almost shone with an internal light.
Why would they bother with a secret agent cook when they have actual guards on site at all times?
He could be underestimating the ponies’ devious minds, but he couldn’t think of a single reason why Starlight and Diamond Mint would be anything more than they seemed.
Viridian woke up first and quietly slipped out of bed so he wouldn't wake anypony in the barracks.
Normally, he liked a good morning walk through the castle. It woke him up, and it felt like he was spying on the other staff at work, even though everypony knew who he was. Being out of uniform made him feel stealthy.
Today was not a normal day, however, so instead he went across to Cerulean's bed. He grabbed the covers in his teeth and yanked them off.
When that didn't wake the blue unicorn, he resorted to the more direct tactic of poking him in the shoulder.
Cerulean's horn flashed for an instant then lit steadily, and Viridian slapped a hoof down on the blankets before they could be drawn back up over Cerulean's semi-conscious form.
The corona of light around his horn light brighter for just an instant before his eyelids fluttered open.
“Morning, beautiful.”
Cerulean blinked at him. “Ugh, you're not Bella,” he muttered. “You don't get to wish me a good morning.” But he rolled out of bed anyway. “Shower?”
Viridian nodded.
The two of them fell silent until they were safely in the shower room together. They got towels, washcloths, soap, and shampoo from the pigeonhole shelves by the door then went inside and turned on a pair of side-by-side showers.
Viridian stepped into the water first, since he liked it cooler anyways. He closed his eyes and stuck his head right in, slowly moving forward as the water sluiced over him.
“How is it?”
“Living in the palace has its advantages,” Viridian said. “Back on the farm, we had a pond and a hosepipe. Wasn't so bad in the summer time, but I could have done without it in the winter.
“Didn't you have a stove?” Cerulean stuck a hoof in his shower, getting a feel for the temperature.
“Yeah, but it took forever to heat enough water for a proper bath. You only got hot water if you were sick.”
“You're pulling my tail.” Cerulean lifted the soap up in his aura and started lathering his back.
“Nuh-uh. And we were lucky—we had an artesian well, so we didn't have to pump. Further up in the hills, most ponies either had to haul their water up by the bucketfull, or else they had some kind of hoof-pump.”
“I always figured that kind of thing was something that the commander just made us do to keep busy.” He picked up Viridian's soap and began washing the earth pony.
Viridian grunted. “Next time you have leave, come to the farm. You'll see, it's relaxing to be in the Guard.”
“I guess so.” Cerulean pulled the soap away from his partner for a moment. “You've even got a unicorn to help wash you.”
“I can do it myself, but—“
“—it's quicker this way.”
“Yeah.”
“You ever wish you were back at the farm?”
“Not really. How about you?”
“Well, I miss sleeping in.” Cerulean pulled the soap away for good, and Viridian stepped back into the water. “That was nice.”
“I slept in once,” Viridian said. “I didn't like it very much. I just kept thinking about how many chores I had and much later I was gonna be out in the field.”
“You must have had time off in the winter, though.”
“Hah! That was when we had to fix and maintain all the equipment, plus chop wood if we wanted the stove to work.”
The two of them were quiet as they shampooed each other's manes and tails and rinsed the soap out. Viridian finished first; he never bothered with the conditioner that Cerulean liked so much.
He moved away from Cerulean to shake himself off, but waited in the shower room until his partner was done showering.
By the time they'd finished drying each other off, the rest of the guards had begun to stir. They'd go for morning exercises before their showers and breakfast.
As a result, neither Cerulean nor Viridian were expecting much of a breakfast, but General Helm Wind wasn't willing to let his soldiers go without being properly fed, so he'd rousted the cook out of bed early.
“Why do I get the feeling this is going to be my last meal?” Cerulean groaned.
“Might as well enjoy it, then.” Viridian sprinkled some vinegar on his oatmeal and stirred it in.
“Why do you like that stuff?”
“It makes the food sit better in my stomach.”
“Really?”
Viridian nodded. “Seriously, you should try it. It's made out of apple cider, so it's good for you.”
“It always reminds me of the smell when wine goes bad.” But Cerulean picked up the bottle anyway and poured a little bit on a pancake. He leaned down to sniff at his pancake and immediately sneezed.
“Clears out your nose, too.”
“You should have warned me.” He wiped his nose with a cloth napkin. “I’m going to have to hold my breath when I eat this.”
“You’ve got to get used to it,” Viridian admitted.
• • •
When they were done eating, they returned their dishes and went across the hall to the armory. Even though they’d polished their armor the night before, they both inspected each piece carefully as they helped each other get dressed.
Both of them shivered a little bit as the spell in the armor shifted their appearance to the same uniform white coat and blue tail of the Day Guard.
They both knew the way to Princess Celestia’s chambers, of course, but instead they went to the ready room to wait for a page to summon them. That was protocol.
As soon as they’d made themselves comfortable at a table in the center of the room, Viridian spoke. “Do you mind if I practice my Humanish?”
“As long as you're quiet.”
Viridian nodded, and began wordlessly moving his lips. Cerulean, meanwhile, got a sheet of paper, dipped a quill in an inkpot, and began writing.
For a brief spell, the room was silent except for the gentle scratching of quill on paper. Then Cerulean spoke. “You can talk, just not too loud.”
“Oh, okay. Um, I am a pony. You am—you are a human.” He had his eyes closed, concentrating on his lessons.
Cerulean ignored him, focusing instead on the paper in front of him. The quill danced across the page, occasionally making a brief detour to the inkwell.
Finally, Viridian spoke again. “What are you doing? Working on the spell?”
Cerulean shook his head. “Writing a letter to Bella. Just in case.”
Dale might have slept or he might not have. Back on Earth, his digital alarm clock had always been a good marker, but here he didn’t have one. In fact, he didn’t remember seeing a single clock of any sort in the embassy, although surely Starlight and Diamond had one in their room so they’d know when to get up. The guards, as well, must have had one, so they’d know when to go on watch.
Or maybe they just changed shifts when they felt like it. He couldn’t tell them apart.
Clock or not, it was getting lighter outside, and since he wasn’t asleep right now, there was little sense in remaining in bed.
He got dressed and went downstairs. Starlight was in the kitchen, and Raven was sitting at the dining room table, cradling a mug of coffee between her hooves. That was a somewhat strange sight—normally, the unicorns lifted them with their fields, which made him think that she was as tired as he was.
I didn’t hear either of them come downstairs, which means that I must have gotten at least a little bit of sleep.
Dale nodded politely to Raven before going into the kitchen for his morning cup of coffee.
It was probably rude to close the kitchen door, but he did anyways. Ponies had radar ears, always swivelling around and hearing everything, and if there was anybody in the house who was more than she seemed, it was Raven.
Dale poured himself a mug and set it on the counter, then went outside to get some more wood for the stove. It would give his coffee a minute to cool, and it would help out Starlight.
He dropped the wood in the rack by the stove, then reached up to cover a yawn. Now his body was telling him that it was tired, but he knew that if he went back upstairs he wouldn’t sleep.
You’re about to sign the most important contract of your life, and you’re completely sleep-deprived.
He took a sip of coffee. I’ll have Lyra or Diamond look over it one more time to make sure that Raven didn’t change anything overnight. He’d heard of car salesmen doing that.
The coffee chased away a few of the cobwebs, although he didn’t really feel like he was ready to face a new day.
“Is Raven, um, big pony?”
Starlight’s ear twitched towards him, and she nodded. “Is Princess Celestia, um.” She frowned and muttered a word that he didn’t know. “Important helping. I help Dale and Diamond help Dale and Lyra help Dale. Lyra is Dale best important, nearest, most knows. Raven is Princess Celestia most knows.”
He pondered her words, sorting out the meaning. “Does she live with Princess Celestia?”
Starlight nodded.
Assuming that she was using mostly the right words and he was interpreting them correctly, Raven was a bigwig. It should have been obvious; she had brought her own assistant with her, her carrier pigeon pegasus pony.
It would have been evidence of a caste structure, except that Diamond seemed inferior to Starlight, so it wasn’t just horn or wing that determined rank. That left the mark on their flank, the cutie mark, as the potentially determining factor, and he had no idea how that system might work. Undoubtedly, it was something like heraldry. Twilight might have a book that showed different marks, and even if he couldn’t understand the words in the book, it might prove helpful.
That reminded him that he wanted to get an American flag for the embassy. There has to be a picture of an American flag in one of the books I brought. He thought for a moment of the Elmo statue. I’ll want to point it out specifically, and not let them guess.
When Lyra or Diamond Mint came downstairs, he would make sure that that provision was added to the contract before he signed it. More clothes would be good, too, but he didn’t think that should go in this contract. That sounded like the kind of language that was in an indentured servant’s contract, or a slave’s.
Raven is probably wondering what we’re doing in here. Dale took another sip from his cup and then topped it off again, before opening the kitchen door back up.
He retreated to his office—he didn’t think that Raven would come in without asking first, whereas Lyra or Diamond would.
He hadn’t even finished his coffee when the front door opened, and he decided to get up and see who it was.
Huh, it’s the slender white unicorn doctor.
Lecol went right up the stairs without looking left or right. It was still early, and she thought that if she didn’t dally, she might get upstairs before Kate woke, and that would be best. Patients had needs, and of course it was her duty to attend to those needs . . . but a few minutes to talk with Nurse Tenderheart about Kate’s condition would be much simpler if she was still asleep.
It wasn’t a matter of her overhearing—she barely understood a word of Equestrian, so they could discuss her prognosis without any worry of that affecting her.
She pushed open the door without knocking, and for a moment the smell of a sickroom assaulted her nostrils. It was something that she’d mostly forgotten in her years in academia, but her time as a nurse in a Prench hospital came crashing right back into the forefront of her mind.
She nodded briefly at Tenderheart and then checked Kate’s bed, to make sure that she was asleep and as comfortable as they could make her. Then she floated the clipboard off the bedstand and studied it briefly. She could look at it in more detail later, but she wanted to make sure that there wasn’t something she needed to know about.
“How was she?”
Tenderheart sighed. “She hardly slept a wink last night. She had a fever and chills, and I used up all her sheets and blankets. I’ll get more of them from the hospital.”
“They won’t fit the bed.”
“I know, but it’s better than nothing. Maybe you could send a telegram to Canterlot and ask for more that will fit this bed? They might listen to you.”
She bit down a sharp reply, because it was probably true. “We might be able to get them on the last train today. Send somepony to the station and have them write a telegram on my behalf asking for whatever you think we need. Anything at all. Address it to Fleur De Lis, Welara Manor, Canterlot.”
Tenderheart nodded. “She’s going to get worse before she gets better.”
“I know.”
“You don’t have any ideas that might help, do you?”
Lecol shook her head. “There are drugs and plants that are antidotes. We could try them carefully, as a last resort, but it’s risky. I don’t know how much her physiology is like ours, and anything else we give her could do more harm than good.”
“We did what we had to.” Tenderheart looked over at the bed. “And we did save her hand.”
“If nothing else, I’m glad of that.” Both ponies looked back over at her—she had her newly-healed hand clenched tightly around her pillow. “Their hands seem to be their most important appendage. They do everything with them. Losing one would be a terrible thing.”
“It would be like you losing your horn.”
Lecol nodded. “I’ve read case studies. It’s very sad. Most unicorns can still do magic without it, although it’s not as focused, and often there’s a lot of sparking. It’s very hard to re-learn how to cast efficiently with a broken horn.”
“That’s something I’ve never had to deal with.” She shuddered. “I can’t even imagine the psychological trauma.”
“It’s really rare, fortunately.” Lecol wrinkled her muzzle. “We should get something to make the room smell nicer. She might feel a little bit better if the room doesn’t smell so much of sickness. Tell Diamond or Starlight on the way out. And ice—that will help when she’s feverish. Is there an icehouse in Ponyville?”
Before Tenderheart could answer the question, both their heads turned as Kate started moaning again. She didn’t open her eyes, but she pushed the covers off her and tugged at her shirt. They could both see in the dim light coming in through the shuttered windows that her belly was glistening with sweat.
“She’s too thin.”
Tenderheart nodded. “Her barrel’s nearly flat, and I don’t think she’s going to be keeping much down over the next couple of weeks.”
“What kinds of foods give them the most nutrition?” Lecol frowned. “Dale probably knows.”
“They don’t like pasture grasses, and Dale wouldn’t eat or drink any of the powdered gems we gave him. She probably won’t, either, not unless we trick her.”
“I’m half tempted to say that we should get her back on the morphine until she’s stronger. I feel like we should have thought things through a little bit more before. . . .” Her voice trailed off.
“Every day she stays on it would make her withdrawal worse.”
“I know.” It was easy to forget in the abstract, clean world of academia. Textbook cases could be presented and pondered over, and treatments were no more difficult than the words printed on the page. It was easy to forget that in the real world, there was a scared, suffering patient. Decisions made in hindsight were always purer than those made in the moment, and it was something she’d let herself forget when she was teaching.
If this case ever made it into the medical journals—and it almost certainly would—generations of ponies would analyze it and critique it, but none of them were in this room right now.
“She’s going to hate us.”
Lecol nodded. “I think we might want a guard stallion upstairs, just in case. She might try to hurt one of us to get more morphine. Or she might hurt herself.”
“We’ll have to station him outside. Every guard I’ve ever known has trouble with ponies who aren’t right up here.” Tenderheart tapped a hoof against the side of her head. “Vigilance is, but he can’t be here all the time, unless he slept here.”
“Would he?”
“If he had to. He’s spent the night with Screwy before.”
“You’d better get going,” Lecol advised. “Before she wakes up. Get some sleep so you’re ready for tomorrow.”
“Later today, you mean.” Tenderheart nuzzled Lecol’s cheek.
“Yeah.”
Before Tenderheart had even left the room, her mind had already turned towards Kate, and how best to deal with her.
The other professors hadn’t been a good fit. Princess Celestia and Dean Bright Star couldn’t have known, but all of them were utterly convinced that ponykind was the most advanced of all the creatures, and therefore all other creatures were beneath them. And maybe that was true—it was certainly the case that there were many other sapient species on Equestria that weren’t as clever or as successful as ponies. Other species that didn’t know or understand Harmony, or couldn’t use magic, or didn’t have cutie marks.
It was too early to tell with their new visitors, but she was certain that they were clever. Dale had adapted pretty quickly, and when she thought about it, she wasn’t sure she would have been able to adapt so fast if she had suddenly found herself in his world.
Kate was more of a wild card. Her behaviors were more animalistic, but given her circumstances, that wasn’t entirely surprising. Lecol had no reason to think that she wasn’t as smart as Dale when she wasn’t doped up on morphine or in pain from her injuries and her treatment.
She’s going to want more. She might not understand what it is, but she’ll know that something is missing, and it probably won’t take her too long to figure out that it’s been in her drinks.
Yesterday, there was probably still enough morphine in her to have a clinical effect. Today, there wouldn’t be, and as the day went on, she would be increasingly desperate to get some.
Since she could speak, she’d almost certainly start by demanding it. Even though Lecol barely knew her language, that wouldn’t deter her. And when her demands weren’t met? She was ambulatory; she might go hunting for it on her own. None would be found in the embassy, of course, so her next step might be going out into town to search for it. She might remember the hospital; if so, that would be her first stop.
We can’t let her out of our sight.
Lecol sighed. Surely there are some recovery houses in Ponyville. She’s well enough, so it might be best to transfer her to one of them. But that wasn’t such a good option; she needed Dale to translate. If there were any problems with her recovery, she’d have to tell him, so he could tell them, and if it was urgent, there might not be enough time to get Dale, even if they had an extra pony as a messenger.
Her ears turned as she heard Kate shift in bed, and Lecol was at her bedside before she opened her eyes.
Lecol was expecting some sort of a greeting—friendly or otherwise—but instead, Kate spun out of bed, pushed by her, and trotted to the door. Lecol was caught completely off-guard, and almost tripped over her own hooves as she turned.
She’s going to go downstairs. Did we remember to warn the Guard?
A moment later, a door slammed shut and Lecol was convinced that it was the front door, that Kate was out on the street. How could she move so fast?
Then her ears snapped back, for Kate wasn’t outside at all. She’d gone the other way.
She can’t mean to jump, can she? The noises from the bathroom suggested otherwise, and perhaps jumping was the last thing on Kate’s mind at the moment.
Lecol hesitated at the bathroom door for a moment, then duty won over and she pushed it open.
There was little point in reexamining the contract, since he could hardly read a word of it, but Dale did anyways.
Raven had left it on his desk, something that he was certain that nobody on Earth would have ever done. Credit card companies and car dealerships thrived on the fact that nobody ever read the contract, or if they looked at it at all, they just skimmed over it.
While it was probably an urban legend, he’d heard of people inserting language into a contract, and then the other side signing it without noticing. Here, even if he tried it, he was sure they’d spot it. Once they got to the part that they couldn’t read, that would be a dead giveaway.
He looked over the contract, and even though he couldn’t read it, the paragraphs triggered his memory, and the explanations that Diamond Mint and Lyra had given him.
They might be lying.
But he couldn’t think that. He had to trust somebody, or else pretty soon he’d be wearing a tinfoil hat and living off berries and grubs in a cave in the forest. Neither Lyra or Diamond Mint had given him any reason to distrust them.
He studied the contract, but instead of thinking of the words, he thought about the ponies. Raven might have been trying to sell timeshares in Times Beach, and she might have been the slickest salesperson ever, but he knew that the ponies were bad at hiding their feelings. Their ears gave them away every time, and even though he hadn’t really been paying that much attention, he was sure he’d have noticed if they’d dropped their ears or pinned them back.
Putting cynical human values on the contract was a mistake.
He pushed it back across the desk and got out of his chair, knowing that he was ultimately going to sign the contract.
I’ll wait until Lyra’s awake, he thought.
I could go up to her room.
It was probably best not to. Even though she had no problem walking around naked all the time, it still felt wrong to go into her room while she was sleeping.
He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, and in a few minutes, he was sound asleep.
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whoo hoo update! thank you great pumpkin
The magic of All Hallow's Eve brings us a fall miracle. We have an update Ladies and Gentlemen. A glorious update!
PRAISE BE TO ADMIRAL BISCUIT!!!!!
Thanks for the update!
Hallelujah!
Well, there goes my sleep.
Good plan, one too many period though.
I may be misremembering it (it has been a little while :D) but if Cerulean and Viridian collapsed the spell, wouldn't they get pulled back? I thought that was the nature of the spell and why they couldn't send Kate and Dale back easily (and the copper wire from the taser being the reason it didn't work quite right).
Other than that, great chapter and glad to see an update! I hope to see a new one soon, I'm interested in what happens with the contact mission.
oh lord tos going to be a long night on binge reading
Great to see an update.
Well, I can tell Dale possesses some keen negotiation senses. Obviously haggling himself out of a clothing budget is the best way to go with all of the nudists on that planet.
Oh man, another great update, and as usual it leaves me wanting more.
I really do enjoy all the world-building you have going on, all the little pieces that mesh together.
Another excellent chapter, as usual.:D
Oh boy, there's more!
I am very happy to see you are updating this story more often.
Brilliant as always!
weeks."
What's with the link to a minecraft picture?
Well Dale is thinking and that is good. Hopefully there will not be any surprises in the contract. Also I love how cutely the ponies are trying to think they are superior but without their magic, and only their magic, they are so far behind humanity it will be funny when they see what we can do!
Yes Yes Yes.
I saw the happy 5 years post, adulation comment, and I wanted to nag about this story, but decided against it and just wait it out. I love this but the time between chapters is so big taht every time I worry that a new one might not come.
But thank you for writing such awesome pieces of work.
I love YOU
/nohomo
Things continue to move forward. I wonder if those humans we saw earlier, like the cops or the professors will be at the island the same time as Viridian and Cerulean?
Its dangerous to go out of your door. There are monsters in the long grass.
Take this new chapter with you.
Theyre using the send two persons only into possible hostile enemy territory? Theres a very unpleasant presedent for that. The second mouse gets the cheese.
Someone needs to talk, because as long as Kates being treated by ponies, whose dietry requirements are majorly different except the common in hindsight, its most likely that even if her diet doesnt kill her outright immediately, its messing up her health so much that the treatment, including method of change of treatment, will do serious if not terminal damage.
Well it was nice knowing you two. We will mourn your.... disappearance.
New chapter. Yay!
Yes! Christmas just came early this year!
And some interesting developments too.
Nice, new chapter!
So, another expedition to earth. I wonder, when it's all said and done and there's stable relations between worlds, how will history react to "it all began when the pony princess that moves their sun decided she wanted to sleep in"
Ouch, withdrawal will be a bitch. Kate is a trained officer though, she might recognize what she's going through. Still think she should use a pony as cuddle therapy, though.
Its alive, its alive. I cheacked to see if it updated or to reread it if i felt like it and to my surprise you posted a chapter. You made my terrible day at work better thank you sir.
Well the good news is the horrid part of morphine withdrawal usually lasts 3 - 5 days, and since she wasn't a chronic user she'll hopefully get the short version. On the other hand, I fear that may be countered with the doctors giving her quite a bit more than she needed. On the other, other hand, equine therapy is apparently a thing in drug-treatment, and she has an unending supply of that.
Given that the operating gate causes glitches in navigation instruments I suspect there will be another visit to the island in short order. Assuming some kind of monitoring equipment wasn't left behind to try and work out what was happening. That was the original reason for the coast guard to to deploy there, and while Kate disparaging took priority, they presumably didn't forget the original mission.
Who hoo! Update!!
I'm both looking forward to and dreading this second (third) return to Earth...
Can't the ponies just toss the box with the message through?
Or send a (magical construct) remote probe through first?
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/prudence.png
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Sure, if they'll swallow their discomfort and let it happen.
Interesting direction there.
Yes! New chapter!
Totally awesome chapter!
With so many other great stories being abandoned I was afraid for awhile that this suffered the same fate. So glad I was wrong!!!
Can't wait to see what happens when those two guards go to earth. Xd
Here's to hoping Dale can get in a rational thought to her when she starts twitching. If nothing else, it gives a chance for her to implicitly show comprehension and actively try to fight the withdrawal.
Keep going! ;)
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Admiral Biscuit's avatar's color is vaguely pumpkin-ish...
Gotta say though, I'm really looking forward to Kate having a clear mind at last.
Huh... the part with the preparations by the two guards for a trip to earth managed to make me feel uncomfortable. Good stuff. Your description of Luna in the dream realm was great, very good imaging. I also like the 'chittering' bat pony language, it's a nice touch. And poor Kate. They might want to check with Dale again when it comes to determining what she should get for nourishment while in withdrawal (not that she's going to be keeping it down very long at a time, but that makes it even more important). Somehow I don't think that gem dust is a good idea. And the good old speciecism, how very real life. No cutiemark? Inferior being.
And more pony social norms and interaction. The two guards washing each other - I really liked that bit of micro worldbuilding.
Huh.. anyone else just notice the pony in the story's cover art that looks like she is ready to be ridden? Whats up with that? Far right corner.
i am vary interested in how things will go for the two guards going to earth,
i can see to possible out comes and they both are shitty.
Kate is going to be sick for at the best two weeks.
this chapter has so much to think about.
witch is vary good.
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🎃
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Yup!
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You're welcome!
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It's worth it.
The way I learned it in school (and that's the old way of doing things) is that you have three in an ellipse, and four if it's an ellipse at the end of a sentence. But there are other ways of doing it. [The spaces between the periods is also something I learned, 'cause that's how you do it on typewriters.]
So you could have an mid-sentence . . . ellipse, and an end of sentence ellipse has four. . . .
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Yes, it would. That was poor word choice on my part--what they mean is to intentionally dismiss the spell (which won't bring them back), versus the uncontrolled collapse of the spell that happened after Lyra got tazed.
The reason they can't send Kate and Dale back is because the magic hurts them when it's applied directly, which is why Dale is still growing back his hair and Kate is the way she is). That's also why they had to use the sink on Kate when they were fixing her.
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long nights binge reading are the best nights.
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Thanks! I should be updating more frequently in the future.
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Probably the ponies wouldn't mind if he did put it in the actual contract, although he can probably still negotiate for that later. Or else he'll learn from his mistake, and remember to put that in Kate's contract (if she signs one).
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i ran out of coffee just reading the first story in the searies
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Yeah, I know that feel.
Thank you!
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Thank you!
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