Being one of the few orphans in Ponyville, Scootaloo could not help but envy the happy families around her. Always too old for couples, she spends her time away from the orphanage to ride around town and enjoy the empty streets. Falling stars checker the night sky, but one was burning bright and growing ever larger. What is going to happen tonight?
Halo Crossover, family centric fic. Good for everypony.
Inspired by "Scootaloo's New Family" by Wanderer D and the comment made by Coranth.
Thanks to Bronzedragon for pointing out the errors and having me look over and see the rather huge spacing mistake through the fiction. (Dang copy-paste.)
Chapters (1)
This....I like
Good story, but most of it is Italicized.
Seriously you have a great start this could be expanded so well.
So... this is nice, apart from the italics issue. Could use some expansion like Celestia meeting them
...I'm faving this. This story...Made my day.
HUZZAH! IT'S BACK!
Also...
I'm pretty sure you mean 'hooves' in this case.
You should have it as [/i]. It'll fix the italics issue.
5401788 \
Fixed, thanks for pointing it out.
5401695
I keep thinking that too, but I just cant do it. It ends so well.
*sees the complete tag* noooooooo!!! i wanted this to be a full on story!
5401826
No probs. Nice story. I like it.
Fantastic! It was good before, but now it's got a nice shpit-shine
5401828 but there is so much to tell in between the beginning and the end, like how Cortina courts chief no way is chief as an emotionally damanged person going to make any moves there, or how chief becomes a guard and how both adapt to raising a child because honestly that would he pretty damn good story material.
5403730
We share a different idea on how an extended story would go.
The Cheif and Cortana are not an average couple. They may have emotions, but John, like all the other Spartans, are emotionally stunted due to the training and hormonal injections. At the same time, Cortana may have emotions, but she also cares for the Chief, it can be love, but it doesn't have to be that type of love. I see them as life-long companions with the bond between them that is as strong, if not stronger than most marriages.
Besides, I kept the ending open, because of how some people may think it happens. And I also wanted to keep the focus on the trio compared to squeezing the boring diplomacy and setting things up for the long run. Accept the beauty of the One-Shot...
And let me feast upon all of the disappointment of he readers who wish for more.
*You're
Should probably be either reflexively or instinctively. Unless she has a chrome finish you never mentioned.
Also, you shift between past and present tense a lot. Very annoying.
5403773 ha ha XD well very true it is your story and I can whine and groan all I want but the final choice is yours to make.
5403864
My greatest weakness. Apologies.
My reaction after reading this story:
That being said, I would love to see this story continued, but your reasons for not doing so make perfect sense, and I respect your decision, albeit with disappointed acceptance.
In any case, this brought a definite smile to my face. Well done, good sir!
5409499
To make you feel better, there is a spiritual sequel being made.
5409740 Huzzah!
Awesome Aliens reference!
5448199
And about as subtle as a shotgun on a stealth mission.
Huh, An edit?
I don't get it... Oh wait I do:
It's even better then I remembered :D
5401828 SEQUEL! You could do a sequel where Master Chief has to fight changelings.
I DEMAND A SEQUEL!
5492413
5492556 As in.
I wish to have a proper sequel.
This needs more!
5492558 Yes!
5492556 Bah, Humbug!
5502545 Yeeeeeees!!!! I will personally hunt him down and kill him, ripping of some skin, pouring Lemon juice in the flesh, releasing 10 fire ants on him, and SLOWLY ripping him apart, limb by limb if he doesn't!
5504927 Hehehe!
I would do something slightly different.
Destroy his life.
Destroy his home.
Kidnap him.
AND GIVE HIM SO MUCH COFFEE AND DRUGS SO THAT HE TYPES UP ANOTHER STORY!
5504943 Hmmmmm... I have a instant drug beam, a extra dalek beam, and LOT'S of A.I.
Need anything? Pick one. You can have one for the idea.
5504971
5504943
5504927
Note to self, upgrade defense system with laser sharks. Not like anyone carries around shark repellant.
5505713 But seriously, update this. It needs more. Like I don't know have them get used to life in ponyville. Have Cortana get used to her body. This could span an entire Slice of Life fanfiction you know! I MEAN MASTER CHIEF!
You could have the mares swooning after him!
And he's just Master Chief.
5505713 Now I carry shark repellent! Thanks for the warning!
i listened to drunken sailor along the read, it was awesome!
IT NEEDS A SEQUEL!
all the more sweet or all the sweeter. Using both is redundant and bad grammar.
Well, I'm sure Fluttershy would not approve of family bonding over beating up Manticores.... but it's awesome, so who cares. So if Chief is in the Guard.. what's Cortana's job????
5401828 ADVENTURES IN FAMILY LIFE! CORTANA TRYING TO COOK! MISSIONS! TIREK GETTING HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM! SHINING ARMOR! CHANGELING DIPLOMACY! SO MANY IDEAS! SEQUEL!
Omg write more please!
6161392
I am a terrible person, with a very small attention span!
6161445 just write more plz?
I feel that this is incomplete.... It needs a sequel! GET TO IT! Please? *breaks down crying over the fact that I only have fifty dollars...hint, hint*
6213643
Sir or Madam, I am apalled! My creativity cannot be bought. My morals will not be comprimised.
*Grabs the fifty*
In all seriousness though, expanding this has always been something of a maybe. Perhaps after I get a start with what I'm currently writing...
1: You'll need to send this back to your editor.
2:
5401826 STILL SAYS IT NEEDS TO BE EXTENDED!
6399977
But it ends perfectly!
6400217 It does.
BUT...
You could have parts where Scootaloo has to teach them to fit in. I mean there was a big time skip from her meeting them to Parent's Day.
AND think about the underlying subplot where Master Chief has PTSD and it's slowly starting to hit him as he isn't fighting anymore.
6401475
Aint touching the PTSD with a ten-foot pole. I'm more of a positive writer ad something like that ain't my style. Besides, I dont think I can write an accurate Chief and Cortana in the long run.
6401947 People will tell you where you're going wrong and you can fix it as you go along. That's the beauty of fanfiction.
5401828 PLEASE TRY!