The Haunting of Deck 4
Trixie’s personal…journal, diary…whatever. The only reason Trixie is stooping this low is to record the amazing exploits of the Great and Powerful Trixie as she becomes the most famous mare in the galaxy. It most definitely does not have anything to do with her missing Crispy Chex, although if she finishes this stupid exercise and Cole does not reveal their hiding place, he’s in for a one-way trip into the nearest star.
Trixie still can’t believe she agreed to this. Apparently, recording her thoughts on a daily basis will help her ‘relax’ or some nonsense. How is complaining to some ‘machine’ supposed to do that? Just because that human wastes 20 minutes of every day with this nonsense doesn’t mean Trixie should have to as well! Hmmph!
“An accidental vocal cue resembling an ‘audible sigh’ has been recorded. Do you wish to delete it from this recording?”
“Yes!”
“Acknowledged. Resume when ready.”
Ahem! As Trixie was saying, the last two days have been some of the most boring she’s ever had. Well…maybe it’s not so bad. I…Trixie has had lots of time to practice her spells and prepare new acts for her routine so when they do eventually get to Star…whatever that place is, she’ll be ready to amaze and enrapture. At least Cole…Trixie means, that human, has been smart enough to stay out of Trixie’s way. Trixie doesn’t know what he does with all his time but she doesn’t care. All Trixie cares about is becoming the most famous unicorn in the galaxy!
Still…even Trixie has to admit that Cole…human…has been rather…‘accommodating’ since Trixie came on the ship. He’s not really that bad…for a human, that is. There are things Trixie wonders about him. Why is he happy spending his life doing one menial task after another with little reward to show for it? Trixie asked him that once and his response was something like “You see, the acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives”. Then he added some nonsense about “wanting to better himself through many different experiences” or something. Trixie doesn’t really get it but she also doesn’t really care. Ha ha, look at Trixie! She’s tsundering and there’s nothing he can do about it! Wait…what did ‘tsundering’ mean again? Whatever, I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with Trixie anyway. (Recording paused)
Trixie sighed again and looked out the window at the stars streaking by. Her proud grin faded as realization slowly began to creep up on her, the unexpected by-product of living in a confined space with such a friendly human. To put it bluntly, Cole really wasn’t that bad…period. Simply put, he looked out for her, making sure she always had enough to eat, a place to sleep, a job…Hell, he’d even gone as far as risking life, limb, and ship for her! Somewhere along the line, one must dispense with the tsundering bullshit and as much as Trixie hated to admit it, that time was approaching.
“Computer, resume recording.”
“Oh my, is that a change of heart I smell?” the computer replied in a very different, light masculine voice that possessed an air of superiority. Trixie jumped off the bed and looked frantically scanned the room for an intruder.
“Who’s there?” the showmare demanded as her horn began to glow. “Show yourself!”
“Oops! What I meant to say was “Affirmative, recording resumed”. Or is it just “Affirmative”? I can never remember. The nuances of such primitive forms of communication often elude me.” With that, there was a flash of light, forcing Trixie to shield her eyes. As she lowered her hoof, her gaze fell upon a strange yet familiar creature dressed in a Starfleet Command uniform, leaning against a nearby wall.
“What…how…what are you?” Trixie stammered.
“You mean you’ve never heard of me?” the creature asked incredulously. “Even with that…cousin of mine running amok in the cosmos, doing whatever he pleases?"
“…What? What are you talking about?” Trixie demanded as some bravado returned. “Tell Trixie at once or you’ll be sorry!”
“I already am,” the dragon-like creature replied with a yawn. “Human constructs are such bothersome things. I could look 6,000 years into their future and their ships would still bore me to tears. There’s just no accounting for taste anymore.” The creature sighed as a blue energy bolt reflected off his uniform. “Must you?” he asked with an extremely fake expression of lament. “Where would I find a tailor at this time of night should you inadvertently set my garment on fire?” With a snap of his claws, Trixie’s horn disappeared. Her eyes widened in panic and just as she was about to cry out in alarm, the creature appeared beside her and gently closed her mouth, pinching it shut between two claws. “Easy now, just relax. I’ll return you to normal just as soon as you hear me out. Deal?” With a look of cold fury, Trixie nevertheless nodded and the man relinquished her.
“There; was that so difficult? Now, I’ve come here on a mission of mercy.” Trixie just looked at him. “Aren’t you going to ask me what the mission is?”
“Trixie doesn’t care!”
“Well, you should. This particular mission involves you, that human, myself, and anyone else who might be watching this inconsequential tale unfold,” the creature added, gesturing away from them as if addressing an unseen audience. “You see, I’ve been rather bored lately so I thought, what better way to alleviate my condition than to pay a little visit to some dear friends and invite them to play a little game?” The man snapped his fingers again. “Oh, of course! How rude of me! My name…” He grinned at her. “…is Discord.”
Meanwhile…
“Mmmm…issall good…saving the universe is what I do…why, I would love six dozen Orion slave girls…yeah put ‘em in my room next to the chocolate fountain ‘n’ the snow blower…” I murmured happily as I slumbered. “…okay. Fine, I’ll be Vice Admiral…but only if…they… (snore) ask nicely…heh heh, why don’t you ladies come over here for a while…damn, girl, you’re so sexy in green…”
“Ooh, Cole baby, why don’t you tell me if my ass is as nice as Trixie’s?”
“Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!” I yelled as he sat bolt-upright in a cold sweat.
“Oh shucks, and just when it was getting good,” someone pouted. I slowly looked to my left and my eyes widened in shock as a tall man with a head of short dark hair looked back at me with a tired smile. “Oh honey, why don’t you go back to sleep and let me take care of the baby this time?” I face-palmed.
“Ugh…what the Hell are you doing here?” I asked groggily, rubbing my eyes.
“So you’ve heard of me?”
“Who hasn’t? I must’ve read Ambassador Picard’s holobook like 20 times,” I replied. “I know all about you, Q.”
“Trust me, boy, if you knew all about me, your little misshapen head would explode,” Q retorted as he snapped his fingers and appeared at my bedside.
“I don’t have a misshapen head. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go back to sleep.” I mumbled, rolling over emphatically.
“Ah yes, you must be eager to return to the U.S.S. Hey Ladies, NCC 6969, flagship of the ‘Ultra Super Special Awesome Mega Cool 1337 Invincible Imperial Empire of Cole’,” Q mused as my eyes shot open for the second time that evening/morning.
“You…you can see my dreams?”
“Yes, a dear friend of mine taught me how to do that a few centuries ago,” Q explained nonchalantly. “It’s not something I use very often but it’s handy to have when the occasion calls for it. By the way, what need have you for six dozen Orion slave girls? I would think that three dozen would suffice.”
“What do you want, Q?” I repeated with a groan.”
“I was in the neighborhood,” Q said with a shrug. “Actually, I was visiting Sunbutt and Moonpie but that’s another story. I’m here to help you.”
“I highly doubt that,” I muttered as he got up and headed for the replicator, not even bothering to ask who ‘Sunbutt’ and ‘Moonpie’ were.
“But I am. I’m here to help you help me. You see, one of my compatriots just finished a fascinating conversation with a little blue friend of yours and let’s just say that…”
“You leave Trixie alone!” I shouted angrily. “Whatever sick joke you’re planning, leave her out of it! Computer, water, cold!”
“My, my, aren’t we protective?” Q said with a smile. “Don’t worry, neither of you will come to any harm…so long as you both play by the rules.” I sighed; when it came to Q, a being who literally held the fabric of time and space in his hand, there was little anyone could do besides batten down the hatches and hope for the best.
“Fine,” I replied with a sigh as I took another sip of water.
“Excellent! I knew you’d say ‘yes’! But then again, how could you not?”
“Get on with it and get off my ship!”
“Fine, no need to get rude! You see, I’ve got this friend and recently, he’s been bored silly watching Sunbutt’s critters frolic about in blissful ignorance. It’s positively revolting. So, he approached me recently and asked if I knew anyone doing anything interesting. Of course, my immediate answer was ‘no’ but then I thought about it and lo and behold, the topic of you came up!”
“Wait…” I interjected as I finished the glass. “The Q Continuum is talking about me?”
“Not just you. That little mare of yours has been stirring up quite the buzz lately. I’ll be the first to admit that as soon as I saw you get sucked into the Mirror Universe, I was sure you’d be a goner but I must say that you two pulled through rather well for such…simple creatures.”
“What’s so interesting about us?” I asked. “Surely, the almighty Q have better things to do than keep tabs on a single human and a magical pony.”
“Under normal circumstances, yes,” Q replied. “However, a unicorn and a human traveling the galaxy together is something of a rare sight these days and we wondered if it might not offer us a chance to learn something.”
“Learn something? Are you sure you don’t mean ‘troll’?”
“Oh please, don’t insult me,” Q exclaimed. “If I wanted to troll you, I’d do something like this.” With that, he snapped his fingers and gestured to the window.
“Jesus Christ!” I yelled as a fleet of Borg Cubes materialized out of nowhere and headed straight for us.
“You called?” Q asked with a wry grin.
“Okay, okay!” I shouted frantically. “I get the picture! Now what is it?”
“Very well,” Q replied, making the Borg fleet disappear with a snap of his fingers. “Mr. Stevens, are you aware of what an ‘estrus cycle’ is?”
“Sure,” I answered with a shrug. “It’s also called ‘heat’, right?”
“Good. Just checking.” Shooting me one last grin, he disappeared with a flash. I slowly made my way over to the bed, sat upon it, and paused, trying to figure out what he could possibly mean.
“Um…what?”
Meanwhile…
“Of course Trixie know what ‘estrus’ is, you lunatic!” Trixie answered indignantly, shooting Discord a glare. “Trixie’s not a foal anymore, in case you haven’t noticed!”
“Oh yes, I have noticed,” Discord replied with a mischievous grin. “The real question is, has he?”
“What are you going on about?”
“Oh, you’ll see,” Discord replied with yet another shit-eating grin. “You’ll see…” He disappeared in a flash, snapping his fingers just before doing so.
Trixie gasped as a sudden ‘tingling’ sensation down south began to occupy her thought process. She jumped back into the bed and ducked under the covers as the tingling feeling slowly evolved into a warm and very familiar feeling. It was a feeling that she recognized well but there was something…wrong. Oh nooooo, she thought as realization hit. But that…that was impossible! You can’t just artificially induce…there was no way! As much as she tried to deny it, there was no point. Somehow, for reasons the showmare couldn’t explain, Discord had succeeded.
Trixie was in heat.
***
Another huge yawn escaped as I tried to decide on a suitable breakfast. In my fatigue-addled stupor, my initial request had been a tablet or two of methamphetamine. Having denied said request rather bluntly, the computer nevertheless sought redemption for its actions by providing a holographic selection of recommended breakfast foods for those suffering from sleep deprivation.
Memories from the previous night were ‘fuzzy’ at best. I knew that I had been woken up and my sleeping pattern disturbed but I could not for the life of me fathom why or how that had taken place. Seeing Trixie stumble into the mess hall in a similar state only compounded the mystery, as did her ‘unusual’ behavior. Behavior that she tried to hide, mind you, but all for naught; throughout our travels, I had grown accustomed to seeing through her ‘walls’ and ‘projections’. Well, maybe not that accustomed but I did have a pretty good grasp of when she was hiding something. Of course, I also knew when not to press the issue, which was most of the time. Still, what harm could a friendly morning salutation do for my physical well-being?
“Morning,” I said with a yawn as she wandered over to the replicator.
“Methamphetamine, two tablets.” she declared sleepily.
“Already tried that.”
“Oh.”
“The Crispy Chex are in the cupboard over there,” I added, pointing in the general direction of food storage. Usually, if one had access to a replicator, they never bothered with keeping fresh food. I was much more of a traditionalist in the way that an experienced drinker who could discern between real alcohol and synthale loathed the artificial stuff. As such, I preferred my strawberries fresh, my milk straight from the cow (after a little processing, of course), and my Crispy Chex non-replicated.
“Thanks,” she replied, helping herself. I shook my head. Thanks? I wondered what she meant by that. Usually, her response was something like “The Great and Powerful Trixie commands you to retrieve it for her at once”! Okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration but she wasn’t known for being overly polite, at least not to me, hence my fascination with her response.
“Um…you’re welcome?” I ventured as I returned to the replicator, having returned from my quest to acquire a glass of chocolate milk. “Two waffles, Belgian, topped with a dusting of confectioner’s sugar, easy on the syrup.”
“Maple, blueberry, or Nesquick?”
“Maple…hold on, make it blueberry today.” There was an affirmative beep and my meal appeared on a small tray. I carried it over to another table…and looked over at the blue showmare as she ate silently, using her magic to operate the spoon. Living dangerously, I altered my course and tentatively took a seat across from her.
“What do you think you’re doing, human? This is Trixie’s personal space and you are not permitted to be in it!” is what I heard in my mind. However, reality kicked in and I was rewarded with silence for my brave effort. She seemed quite preoccupied with her cereal and as scrumptious as the little pieces of honey-flavored goodness were, it was still unusual for her to ignore me completely.
“So…” I began, unsure of how to begin our morning conversation. She looked up at me, not with anger or annoyance but with a sort of gentle curiosity, the second surprise of the morning thus far. “I’ve got a question.” There was a short pause, during which I sipped my chocolate milk and made a mental note to buy some more, although I was sure that I’d had more the last time I checked. Knowing Trixie wasn’t fond of it, I could never figure out how it kept disappearing.
“Yes?”
“How the bloody Hell do you know about methamphetamine? Decided to give the magician thing a rest and break bad for a while?” I asked jokingly.
“Trixie has been reading the database.” I nearly choked on my waffle.
“Seriously?”
“Yes? Is that so difficult to believe?”
“Just a little. So…drugs, huh?”
“Why are humans so fascinated with pharmaceuticals that possess no beneficial effects, only detrimental ones?” Trixie asked. Under normal circumstances, the question would’ve sounded like a vicious accusation and considering the subject matter, an accusation would’ve been justified. This time, however, it sounded like genuine curiosity. Either that or she was just fishing for another way to hate on humanity.
“That must’ve been a really old entry you read,” I replied, hoping to salvage a little reputation on behalf of my species. “Humanity hasn’t seen the widespread use of recreational drugs for almost 200 years. We almost destroyed ourselves with them so as soon as the Eugenics Wars were over, the new Earth Government ordered all drugs that did not have a pharmaceutical use to be immediately destroyed.”
“Oh…well, that’s good I guess.”
“For sure.”
More awkward silence.
“Thanks, by the way.”
“For what?”
“For the Crispy Chex. I…Trixie didn’t actually think you’d get her any.”
“Why wouldn’t I” I asked with a shrug and through a mouthful of waffle. “We’re friends, right? Friends look after each other. Like I said, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Trixie immediately became flustered and quickly moved the cereal box to obscure any view of her reddening cheeks. I, of course, was too busy trying to enjoy my breakfast to notice.
“S…scratch my back?” Trixie half-whispered as another wave of warmth visited the land down under. She stood up suddenly, knocking over her empty bowl as I looked up at her. “I…Trixie has to go…for…reasons!” With that, she flew out of the mess hall. I watched her leave, shrugged, and went back to my waffles.
“What the Hell was that about?”
***
Knocking down Trixie’s door would have found the showmare upon her back, sweating and panting with her legs splayed and a suspicious residue on one of her front hooves. She had just woken up from a very long sleep and yet, here she was, exhausted after rubbing herself into a near-stupor, all because of that accursed heat.
The fact that her cycle had literally sneaked up from out of nowhere and bit her on the behind wasn’t what bothered her the most. No, that dubious honor went to the mental image that alleviated her ‘neediness’…at least for the time being. She cursed it, oh, how she cursed it! The fact that a simply, brief, and completely innocent and meaningless conversation was responsible for her current state was aggravating. Why him? Of all the beings on all the planets in all the star systems, why did it have to be Cole? It had to be the universe’s idea of a sick prank, it just had to be! From her perspective, Cole was about as unattractive as she thought possible. Those long arms, those gangly legs, those slightly-larger-than-average ears, the small tuft of mussed-up jet-black hair…the gentle features that assured her that everything would be okay in times of crisis, the kind heard that always went back for her…yessir, no attractive qualities at all. Not. A. Single. One.
Trixie shook her head, trying in vain to dismiss the thoughts as she felt another wave of heat to her nether region. She sighed and resigned herself to her situation; it would be troublesome but if scratching the itch was the only way to think straight and come up with a way to avoid any problems, then so be it.
Meanwhile…
I wiped some sweat from my own brow as I returned to my room. For reasons I could not explain, my brain had switched ever-so-gently to a topic to which I’d never given any thought.
The sultry sway of a certain blue flank. It simply flat-out refused to leave my mind. It was the strangest thing, especially considering my liking for females of my own species. Even in a galaxy in which inter-species relationships were quite popular, I had never even considered the idea. And now, here I was, sitting on my bed, my head donating quite a bit of blood to the Land Down Under whilst seriously considering leaping onto my blue friend and doing unmentionable things to her.
I wasn’t completely gone, however. It was difficult but I still retained some of my common sense. Something wasn’t right and it wasn’t just because the only thing I wanted to do was tap Trixie into next week. There was something at work here, some force that had no business messing around with us. I decided to think it over and make note of any ideas I could come up with as I went about my usual routine. Given my current blood flow, I thought it wise to busy myself with activities unrelated to the blue mare and if possible, by myself. I was sure that something needed recalibrating or scanning or whatever starship captains did in their spare time. With that in mind, I set my plan into motion and headed for the bridge.
***
“So, who do you like?” Discord asked as he and Q watched Cole from on the bridge, hidden by invisible fields.
“The human. He looks desperate.” Q replied immediately. Discord let out a huff.
“You continue to underestimate the powers of a mare in heat. “She’ll have him by dinner, you’ll see.”
“I hope so for your sake,” Q replied, chuckling as Cole accidentally pushed the wrong button, triggering ship-wide Red Alert. “I’m confident that Cole will cave a lot faster than that the pony. I’ve seen his dreams, you know. He’s quite ‘open-minded’ for a human.”
“For now at least,” Discord mused. “Don’t you find it rather ironic that we bet against our respective…spheres of influence?”
“Implying that my sphere of influence only encompasses humans,” Q replied.
“You know what I mean. Ah, such entertainment!” Discord exclaimed. “You were right, dear cousin. This is so much more fun than listening to Sunbutt prattle on about friendship and love and all those gag-worthy things she dedicates all her time to.”
“I quite agree,” Q declared. “Chocolate milk?” he asked, offering Discord a glass.
“Mmm, what vintage?” the draconequis asked, sniffing and studying the beverage.
“The human’s personal storage, of course!” Q replied, earning a laugh from Discord. With that, they clinked glasses, sat back on two vacant bridge seats, and watched.
***
This is getting ridiculous, Trixie thought as she panted from yet another round of ‘stress release’. Okay, three times a month maybe but three times that day? She’d been through heat before but never like this. She needed to find something more effective than simply riding it out, otherwise…she shivered as a particularly detailed image of her and Cole flashed through her mind.
“Augh, come on, Trixie, get a hold of yourself!” she admonished. “But not like that!” she added as though someone might be listening in. “This isn’t your first heat!” She let out a sigh as an idea popped into her head. Maybe this ridiculous computer-thingy can help me, she thought. It seems to know everything anyway.
“Computer!” she exclaimed much louder than was necessary. “Where can I find something to…” She sighed. “…suppress the sex drive?”
“There are several anaphrodisiacs in Sick Bay.”
“Will they…work with me?” Trixie was no fool; she knew better than to take medications that she wasn’t sure about, although the itch between her hind legs was starting to get the better of her and she could practically feel her common sense begin to wane.
“There is insufficient data on the physiology of Equestria-based life-forms to make that determination.”
“Damnit!” Trixie cursed. Fuck it, she thought as yet another weave of need began to overcome her faculties, this one greater than the last few. “Computer, where is Sick Bay?”
“Sick Bay is on Deck 4.”
“Trixie demands that you take her there at once!”
“Follow the lit panels on the bulkheads. They will lead you to your destination.” Trixie took a deep breath, ran to her door, opened it, peeked around for any signs of Cole, and darted off.
There was something about Deck 4 that made it seem much larger than the ones Trixie spent the grand majority of her time on. Apart from being a little unnerving, it was also quite alien to her, having almost never been there before. Nevertheless, the showmare pressed on, determined to find some way to rid herself of her symptoms. Usually, when heat happened, it felt more…natural, like it was time. This cycle didn’t resemble her previous ones at all, making Trixie suspect that something was afoot. As such, she felt no remorse about staving off the effects using artificial means, despite the possibility of harmful side-effects. The showmare simply refused to be a slave to her own desires, especially when they transpired at the wrong time. The Great and Powerful Trixie was nobody’s slave.
“Now where was Sick Bay again?” she mused. “Computer?” She raised an eyebrow as the computer didn’t reply. “Computer!” she exclaimed. “What’s wrong with this stupid…?”
She paused mid-complaint as the lights momentarily flickered. She opened her mouth to complain but closed it as the lit panels suddenly deactivated, slightly darkening the corridor.
“Uh…Computer?” she asked hesitantly. There was no answer save for the flickering lights. She shivered, feeling a drop in the ambient temperature since Deck 3. Cautiously, she surveyed the corridor before taking a few tense steps forward.
She stopped after a couple of steps and froze as something flickered near the opposite end of the hall. It wasn’t the lights, which had since stayed slightly dimmed. Trixie craned her head forward, peering intently at the end of the corridor.
It was then that she saw it again. An image of a man, darkened like a shadow, appeared at the end of the hall, writhing and fading in and out of view as it slowly approached her. Trixie’s eyes widened in fear as it stretched a hand out towards her, a garbled, pained sound emanating from the strange figure. She gulped and took a step back, hoping that it was merely a figment of her hormone-infected imagination. It wasn’t until an eye opened to reveal a crimson pupil to mark the face of the figure did she scream and take off down the opposite end of the corridor, away from the two-legged monster. She heard a series of howls and cried behind her as she ran blindly in the direction she hoped was the turbolift. She rounded a corner at full-speed and shrieked again as something grabbed her and refused to let go.
“No! Leave me alone! Go away!” she cried out, keeping her eyes glued shut.
“Trixie!”
“Please don’t hurt me! I promise I’ll never come down here again so please just let me go!”
“Trixie!”
The firm yet gentle voice persuaded the blue mare to finally stop struggling. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself staring up at a familiar face.
“Cole?” she asked in disbelief as sweat soaked her face.
***
I’m not entirely sure of what surprised me more; the screams that could curdle milk or the hopeful expression on her muzzle. Either way, I was fairly sure she was happy to see me.
“Trixie, what’s wrong? What happened?” I asked as I gently set her down onto shaking hooves.
“Th…there was…s…something…” the blue mare replied, pointing down the hall from whence she’d come with a quivering foreleg.
“You mean…down that way?” I asked, gesturing in the same direction as Trixie’s hoof.
“No, I meant under the floor!” Her cocky attitude returning swiftly, Trixie glared up at me. I sighed.
“Want me to take a look?” I asked as my hormone-enriched brain jumped for joy at the opportunity to prove myself a worthy mate, a notion for which it was mentally chastised. Nonononono, there’s a lot of reason why this isn’t right but the most important one is that THIS ISN’T HER. She doesn’t even like to hug me for fucks sakes. I knew what the effects of heat were and this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Her ‘affectionate intentions’ were to be reserved for members of her own species only…right? For a moment, I wondered if Equestria heat might be like Vulcan Pon Farr. Vulcans had been known to endear themselves to other humanoids when afflicted with the condition. I shook my head violently, trying to stop my mind from justifying any reciprocity on my part. Besides, we had a ghost to deal with.
“O…only because Trixie doesn’t know her way around the deck yet! She most definitely isn’t sc…” I couldn’t help myself. Her insistence on being unafraid was cut off as I knelt down and hugged her. There was a pause as both of us tried our best to simply take the gesture in stride, a difficult task when both parties are hornier than a two-peckered Billy goat. Showing her that I genuinely cared was worth the risk.
“Hey, it’s okay, I know you’re a brave girl…pony,” I added, thankful that I had enough sense left to correct myself. “There’s nothing wrong with asking for help once in a while.”
“Trixie…doesn’t need help…” she muttered even as her body betrayed her and she gripped me tightly. For a moment, I could’ve sworn that I felt her nuzzle my neck, complete with an almost inaudible sigh. Afflicted as I was, skepticism nevertheless overruled hormones and I slowly leaned away from her and got to my feet.
“Now let’s go deal with this ‘ghost’.”
We soon returned to the ‘haunted corridor’, Trixie hiding behind me as we slowly proceeded down the hall. Well, it was more like ‘standing behind me, trying to look brave’ but I knew she was scared. Good; now I‘ll look like a hero and she’ll want to reward me with…will you STOP it already? I wiped away the incoming grin and proceeded a little faster, anxious to show her that all was well. At her request, I brandished my hand phaser, though I doubted how useful it would be if the Ranger really was infected with vengeful apparitions.
“Alright, we’re here. Where did you see this ‘thing’?”
“Over there,” she pointed from behind my legs. “Right by the door.”
“The door to Sick Bay?” I asked, turning to glance down at her. She nodded. “By the way…what were you doing down here? I’ve never even seen you go anywhere besides Decks 1 and 2, unless it’s with me. What gives?”
“That’s…that’s none of your business!” Trixie exclaimed haughtily as her hind legs pressed together nervously.
“You did hear me tell you at breakfast that there’s no methamphetamine aboard this ship nor any way to synthesize it, right? Otherwise, I’d have to rename my ship the U.S.S. Heisenberg, heh heh.” I chuckled at my own lame joke while Trixie scowled up at me. “But seriously, what’s going on? Are you hurt?” I knelt down to her and gently cupped her chin with my hand. “You can tell me if there’s something going on.” Yeah, just admit that you actually secretly want me so we can go back to my quarters and bang like there’s no…SHUT IT!
“Well…” Trixie stammered, nervously glancing at the floor as my heart leapt (along with another part of my anatomy). “It’s like…well, it’s like…THAT!”
“Like what?” I asked, unsure as to why she’d suddenly pointed behind me whilst wearing a look of abject terror. I turned about and my eyes widened at the sight. Moving towards us making horrible guttural sounds, was a man with a single blood-red eye, fading in and out of sight. “Holy shit!” Horny-ness temporarily forgotten in lieu of surprised fright, I jumped back up to my feet, dropping my hand phaser in the process. Wasting no time, Trixie picked it up with her magic, clenched her teeth, and fired at the apparition.
“TRIXIE ORDERS YOU BACK TO TARTARUS, FOUL DEMON!” she cried as she fired shot after shot, covering the floor with sparks of molten metal. “NOW DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE…”
“Give me that before you blast a hole in my damn ship!” I exclaimed, trying to wrestle the weapon away from the panicked showmare. For such a relatively small creature, she was strong, and it took me a good minute or two before the weapon was back in my hands. I glanced at it, then back to her. “Seriously? 10? That’s maximum setting. Do you like your ghosts well-done or something?” Speaking of ‘well-done’…cut it out already!
“It’s still there!” Trixie shouted, making a grab for the weapon.
“I think you’ve played around enough with this,” I replied, holding it out of her reach. I sighed, realizing what I had to do. “Look…just sit tight for a minute, alright? I’m gonna try something.” With that, I approached the flickering ‘ghost’. “Hmm…” I mused as I scrutinized it closely.
“What are you doing?” Trixie hissed. “It’ll eat your soul!”
“Well,” I turned to her with a small smile. “The good news is, our immortal souls are quite safe. The bad news is, most of the holo-emitters are outta commission until I can get ‘em fixed at the next stop. I can fix the one on Sick Bay but that’s it.”
“H…holodecks?” Trixie stammered.
“Aye, holodecks.”
“You mean…that was…”
“Y’know, for someone who uses holograms so much, I thought you’d be able to see them…hey, take it easy!” I exclaimed as a piece of the wall sizzled behind me. “It’s just a malfunctioning holo-emitter!”
“Well then…fix it so I don’t have to see this ‘thing’ anymore!”
“Alright, alright! I’ll see what I can do.”
***
Acting captain’s log, Stardate…you know what, screw it. Current date: October 31, 2378. I’ve managed to replace the busted emitter in Sick Bay but the others will have to wait until I can acquire some more heavy-duty replacements and some engineering talent to install them. For now, everything’s pretty well back to normal. Trixie buggered off as soon as I began the repairs. I don’t know what’s going on with that mare but I suppose she’s right; it is none of my business, although I wouldn’t mind knowing what that musky scent in the air was. It was damn persistent; I practically had to vent Decks 1 through 4 just to get rid of it! Whatever, I’m sure it was nothing to worry about. I’m just about to head back down to Sick Bay. I’ve been in the mess hall for the past 15 minutes looking for my chocolate milk. I just don’t understand it. One minute, the jug is full and the next, most of it is gone! If Trixie actually liked chocolate milk, I’d blame it on her but that’s not the case here. Guess I’ll just have to requisition more at the next Starbase. The mess hall is a surprisingly peaceful place to record a log. I often find myself thirsty after such an oral ordeal and being in such close proximity to fresh beverages is certainly a blessing. Anyway, I’d better go wake Trixie up. She seems rather insistent about procuring some type of medication, yet she won’t tell me why. Ah well, as strange as it sounds, I trust her not to do anything stupid. I’m pretty sure our last encounter with the Orion Syndicate taught her a very valuable lesson about messing with things you don’t know anything about. (End recording)
“Trixie?” I asked, knocking on her door. A bit old-fashioned but the showmare disliked the sound of the ‘doorbell’. Too high-pitched or something; apparently, her ears didn’t agree with it, so I refrained. “You ready to go?”
“J…just a second!” came a hurried and breathless response from the other side. “She appeared shortly, panting a little as if she’d spent the last half hour partaking in some kind of vigorous exercise.
“Umm…are you sure you’re okay?” I asked, just for my own edification.
“Yes…yes! Why wouldn’t I be? I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, after all.”
“Fair enough,” I replied as we left for Sick Bay.
We arrived a few minutes later. That was one advantage of having a small ship; it didn’t take very long to get anywhere.
“Please excuse the mess, I don’t come down here very often.” I informed the blue mare as we entered the Ranger’s medical wing. “Guess I’m lucky that all I ever needed as a small tissue re-generator for cuts and bruises, huh?” Trixie stayed silent as she looked about the room. “By the way, I’d like you to meet someone.” I cleared my throat. “Ahem! Computer, activate the EMH.” There was a slight buzz as a balding man with a square face and a bored expression appeared in the middle of the room.
“Please state the nature of the medical emergency.” I turned to Trixie with a smile.
“Trixie, I’d like you to meet our ‘ghost’. Apparently, during our fight with the Orions, the managed to damage the ship’s holographic systems. The damage wasn’t as bad here, though. In fact, what we were seeing was just the result of a partially burnt-out emitter. As for why the unresponsive computer and the temperature drop, it was just a busted power conduit. Nothing serious.”
“Excuse me, but I’m a doctor, not a specter of the night. Is there anything I can help you with?”
“She’s the one you’ve gotta ask, doc,” I replied, gesturing towards Trixie.
“I would think so,” the doctor mused, scanning her with a medical tricorder. “This mare is suffering from premature estrus, and rather extreme at that.” There was a pause, during which time Trixie blushed and face-hoofed as I tried to make sense of the situation. So that explained her strange behavior and why she wanted to be alone so much! To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to think, other than how glad I was that I hadn’t acted on any of my impulses, as difficult as they were to control. The last thing I wanted was for us to do something together that we’d both regret.
“Fortunately, your condition is quite manageable,” the doctor continued. “I can easily synthesize a treatment. One dose of Medroxyprogesterone should do the trick.”
“I’ve got a question, doc,” I interjected, raising my hand. “Why the Hell do you have that on board?”
“Medroxyprogesterone is a drug often used by human women as a hypospray contraceptive. Fortunately, it also happens to be a powerful anaphrodesiac.” The doctor looked over at Trixie. “Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe for Equestrian ponies.”
“Well…okay,” Trixie replied quietly as the doctor administered the drug to her neck via hypospray.
“There, all done!” the doctor exclaimed with a smile as he prepared another one. “According to my scans, you could use a dose, too,” he added, turning to me. Trixie gave me a look of doubt.
“Is that why you were staring at my…”
“Great idea, doc! I’d love a shot of…whatever you’ve got there!” I announced as Trixie gave me a look of venom.
“Here,” the doctor explained as he administered the hypospray. “This Hydrocodone should mellow you right out. If you experience any nausea, vomiting, constipation, drowsiness, dizziness, euphoria, light-headedness, fuzzy thinking, anxiety, abnormally happy or sad mood, dry throat, difficulty urinating, rash, itching, or narrowing of the pupils, just give me a shout. I don’t see any other medical staff so I assume I’ll be on duty for a while.”
“Great,” I replied, breathing a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you’re finally up and about, doc. If one of us had gotten hurt, we would’ve been screwed. I feel a little safer having you around.”
“That’s kind of you to say but it is simply my programing.”
“Still, don’t overwork yourself. I don’t exactly like the idea of either of us getting hurt while you’re too damaged or unstable to save our asses.”
“Don’t worry, I will be sure to deactivate my holo-matrix regularly to prevent any degradation of my program.” the doctor assured me.
“Excellent. By the way, I noticed your matrix flickering outside Sick Bay. When I get those ship-wide holo-emitters back up ‘n’ running, feel free to take a walk around the ship whenever you feel like it. Being cooped up in here doesn’t sound like much of a time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. If you require any further assistance, you need only ask.” I nodded and the doctor disappeared.
“What was that?” Trixie asked quietly as soon as we were clear of Deck 4 as if afraid the hologram could hear her.
“That was the ‘Emergency Medical Hologram’, or ‘EMH’ for short. He’s a holographic character designed to supplement a starship’s medical staff in the case of an emergency.” I explained.
“…Oh.”
“Don’t worry, I know it’s a lot to handle right now,” I replied, trying to comfort her after the Hellish day we’d both just lived through. “Now, I don’t know about you but I could sure go for a bowl of Crispy Chex before bed. Would you care to join me?” I was pleasantly surprised as Trixie looked up at me and offered a small smile.
“Trixie would like that.”
***
A cry of “Oh, come on!” greeted us as we entered the mess hall a minute later. I shook my head in disbelief as my eyes took in the sight of two instantly recognizable beings seated at our usual table. One was a human male dressed in a Starfleet uniform while the other looked like someone had stuffed a goat, a chicken, a dragon, and a pony into a blender and hit the ‘on’ button.
“Ah ha! You see?” the horned one exclaimed triumphantly. “Neither of them tried to mate with the other! The bet is off!”
“You’re just saying that because you were so close to losing!” the man retorted.
I think that’s when it dawned on us; why the sudden hormonal onslaught seemed so out-of-place and why I hadn’t slept well the night before. I face-palmed as I realized that both Q and Discord had taken up residence in my little ship for the better part of a day.
“Let me get this straight…” I mused, finally getting their attention. “You guys messed with us and made us crazy horny and made a bet on who would fuck the other first?”
“We were bored! Sue us!” Q replied nonchalantly as he…helped himself…to my…chocolate milk…and…finished…the jug. My eye involuntarily twitched but I decided to allow the disturbingly dark aura emanating from the showmare at my side to do the talking for both of us.
“They…did…what?” Trixie hissed as her horn began to blow. “You mean…the reason Trixie went into heat…was because you two were bored?” all the while, she slowly and dangerously approached the laughing unsuspecting pair of divine miscreants.
“Just…try to remember that this is still my ship so try not to go…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Trixie’s cry resonated through the ship as an incredible blue and red light lit up the ship, catching the two pranksters by surprise and somehow casting the from the ship, sending them hurdling into space.
“…overboard.” I finished as Trixie stood panting at my side, the Alicorn Amulet smoking around her neck. “Nice shot. Even if they are semi-omnipotent, I doubt they’ll be back for a while. Why’d you bring that, by the way?”
“In case that ‘thing’ on Deck 4 turned out to be something way worse than a doctor.” Trixie replied with a cocky grin.
“Good thinking,” I agreed with a nod as I retrieved the Crispy Chex.
***
Trixie let out a small sigh of relief as she laid on her soft bed. The day’s events had run her ragged, making her appreciate the comfort of her personal living space that much more. She could finally relax, now that her mating instincts weren’t trying to coerce her into Cole’s bed. She smiled as she thought of their time together. It had been fun, in a strange way. Their adventures certainly took strange turns and although they seldom conformed to the showmare’s idea of a good time, she had to admit that it had been an effective, albeit awkward, bonding moment.
She finally realized that when she felt something akin to her condition that morning return. However, the warm feeling spread to her entire body and didn’t limit itself to her nethers and instead of fighting it, she relaxed and let it wash over her. She could deny it no longer. Every time she felt the warm sensation travel from her core to her extremities, one face came to mind. Trixie smiled and blushed as she closed her eyes and let her mind wander and show her something for which she had gained a real and unique appreciation; a young human yearning to make his mark on the galaxy, willing to bet everything to reach his dream…and kind enough to include her in it.
Meanwhile…
“Another fine idea, cousin,” Discord exclaimed with a sigh as he and Q floated through space. “How did that mare expel us like that, anyway?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Q replied nonchalantly. “On that note, I could go for something a little more ‘relaxing’ right about now. Any suggestions?” Discord considered it.
“We could go visit the Borg and play ‘Assimilation Tag’.” It was Q’s turn to think it over; usually, the demigod refrained from messing around with one of the galaxy’s most notorious and dangerous species. Finally, he shrugged.
“Fine. But you’re ‘it’ this time.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.019 seconds
Total duration
1,023 users online
1,425,829 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
An excellent story and I love that you posted it on Halloween.
I also like having Q and Discord be cousins rather than two personas of the same character. Overall, very well done.
Discord and Q, Trolling the universe one ship at a time.
This was amusing, but the "in heat" angle is one of those things that makes me roll my eyes. Also, how does the ship computer not know anything about Equestrian biology and yet the "doctor" did? Are they separate systems?
I little bonding happened which is nice. Q and Discord are cooky but fun to read. I look forward to more!
S'more comments.
First, the pop culture references still feel really out of place given the se--
wat
WAT
I severely doubt the Doctor would be keen on having himself copied like this. Plus, it's not a sin to develop an original character here and there. Given the time frame this ship would've had to come from, it would've had a Mark II or Mark III EMH. (A Mark III for preference; I doubt you'd want to be roaming deep space with Andy Dick.)
3459812
Actually, given that the Ranger is a surplus Nova class, it's entirely probable that it had a Mark I EMH installed. And given Starfleet considered them failures, probably wouldn't have bothered to remove it when the ship was mothballed. That said, it's equally IMprobable that the EMH was a direct copy of Voyager's for the reasons you said. Also, that would mean it's NOT designed for long term use (in fact there were a few Voyager eps revolving around this fact).
3431719
Technically, yes, the EMH is seperate from the main computer, especially since the Ranger's is probably very much non-standard, being able to pretty much run the ship almost without a crew. However, it is confusing why the EMH would have data on a, presumably, newly discovered species, unless Cole's been keeping the medical database updated.
3518520
Omitted the part about Voyager. Took another look and realized that you're right; it didn't make any sense. Long story short, fix'd. Thanks for the heads-up.
Oh, this was a FUN chapter! Good read!