Starships and Tsundere-Storms
“Mmm…” Trixie murmured, squeezing her eyes tightly despite the semi-frequent beeps that echoed through her room. “Go ‘way…” she muttered, pulling the sheets over her head with a quick shot of magic. Although she’d never admit it, her first ‘night’ aboard the Ranger had been one of the best sleeps she’d had in quite some time. And now that human jerk wanted to spoil it for her. Well, that just wouldn’t do, now would it?
“Wakey-wakey, eggs and bake-y,” a singsong voice called over the room’s communicator.
“I’mnothungry…” Trixie murmured even as her stomach betrayed her.
“Come on now, even the communicator picked that one up,” the persistent voice added, clearly a smug grin on its face. That did it.
“For the last time, leave me alone!” Trixie shouted. “I don’t want to get up and you can’t make me! Hmmph!”
“I guess you’re right…” a dejected voice replied. The showmare grinned and rolled over with a content sigh. The bed was so warm. It was as if the sheets were actually getting warmer for her. In fact, it seemed like her entire body was slowly heating up. There was even a slight tingle right where…
Wait a minute, she thought as her expression changed from contentment to suspicion. Where have I…
By the time the all-too-familiar ‘tingling’ sensation had finally worn off, it was too late and Trixie landed with a soft thump on the floor of the galley.
“‘Morning, sleepyhead,” I greeted with a yawn as I grabbed a box of cereal and held it out to her with an innocent and heartwarming smile. “Crispy Chex?”
At this point, it’s probably a good idea to remind you all that in space, no one can hear you scream. Or run for your life. Or howl in pain. Or beg for mercy. Let’s just say that I was grateful that no one would ever hear me shriek like such an infant diaper baby. I guess it’s true what they say; you can’t spell ‘overreaction’ without ‘ovary ‘and both of that mare’s must’ve been in full swing that morning. Combine that with some admittedly impressive telekinesis and you’ve got a cocktail fit for the criminally insane. Seriously; anyone passing by would’ve though the ship was having a seizure. It’s like another old saying I know; if the starship’s a rockin’…except that this time, it most assuredly was not in the ‘good’ way.
“Hey! I said I was sorry!” I yelled, ducking behind a mess hall table as something flew over my head, hitting the wall behind me with a splat. “Besides, I heard your stomach over the COM! Would you rather I let you sleep all day and starve to death?”
“You snatched me up from my own bed like some kind of sick foalnapper!” Trixie shouted, readying another apple. “More apples!” she added, directing her shout at the nearby replicator she was camped out beside. There was a beep and another pile of ammunition appeared.
“Alright, Jesus that’s way too much!” I protested. “You have any idea of…yipes…” I ducked again. “…how much energy the replicator uses? You probably just used up a week’s worth of replicator power!”
“Trixie doesn’t concern herself with your issues!” Oy vey, I thought, rolling my eyes.
“Just wait ‘till we run outta power, then we’ll see whose issues are whose!” To my surprise, that caused the blue mare to temporarily stop her assault. She looked down at the levitated apple and with a sigh, began to eat it. “That’s better,” I said, brushing myself off. “We cool?”
“Hmmph!” she replied with her nose in the air. I sighed.
“If you need me, I’ll be on the bridge. You do remember how to get there, don’t you?” Trixie scowled at me but said nothing. “Okay, just follow the sign that says 'turbolift', step into it, and say 'bridge'. Easy enough, right?”
“I don’t care about how ‘easy’ it is.”
“Milk’s on the table!” I called from just outside the door. I smiled, imagining the dumbfounded expression on her face thanks to my sudden absence and the fact that I had just completely shut any attempt at an argument down. It was my ship. I was the acting captain, meaning that there was no way I was gonna play her little games. I suppose that begs a question, doesn’t it? Why would I use the title of ‘acting’ captain when I was clearly the only one in charge of the ship and had been for some time? I think it was some sense of honor I possessed about certain things, things like entitlement and earning one’s way in the universe.
Um…let me explain what I mean.
When I first purchased/requisitioned (Starfleet term there) my ship, I was, as you might expect, quite curious as to who had captained the ship before me. Who were they, what were they like, what did they do? In the beginning, I was obsessed with learning everything I could about the ship formerly known as the U.S.S. Asimov, registration number NCC-2865. I knew full-well that it had been a science ship so I had no illusions of grandeur about its missions. I mean, it was a nifty little ship but it sure as Hell wasn’t the Enterprise or the Repulse. Those had been everywhere and done almost everything. It was never my intention to live up to them so I didn’t. I just lived, doing what I needed to do to survive and live a half-decent life while staying (usually) on the straight and narrow. Well, there was that one Klingon incident but I’d like to think that that wasn’t all my fault. Seriously; have you ever met a Klingon? They’ll get angry at anything. It’s like their job or something.
Sorry ‘bout that. I’ll get back on track now.
As I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, I apprised to learn all I could about my new home and although the excitement factor wasn’t exactly an 11, the ship’s accomplishments nevertheless impressed me and I soon grew very proud of what I had. I won’t go into the specifics of their missions because most of what I had read might as well have been gobbledygook and scientific jargon that only a renowned scientist like Spock or Twilight…Spackle or whatever her name was, could comprehend. So I resigned myself to just being happy with what I had.
I had to stop and chuckle to myself after a strange yet amusing image popped into my head as the turbolift carried me to the bridge. Twilight Spockle…oh dear God…
“Alright, look alive, Daddy’s up,” I announced as I stepped out of the turbolift and onto my beloved bridge. “Computer, how long ‘till we reach the wormhole?”
“At our current speed, we will reach the wormhole in 20 minutes.”
“Ah, good,” I replied. “Maintain current course and speed. Oh, and don’t forget to hail the installation when we arrive. Starfleet doesn’t like it when you don’t share your travel plans.”
“Acknowledged.”
I took a seat in the captain’s chair, a position I surely did not deserve as of yet, and brought up the sector map on the main viewscreen.
“Hmmm…” I murmured as I studied it. For the first time since I’d offered for Trixie to accompany me, I began to ponder the implications. Where should we go? Preferably somewhere useful to both of us to keep it simple. I liked simple, which is why I scraped enough Energy Credits together to upgrade the ship’s computer to…well, pretty much run everything for me. I guess a couple of classes at Starfleet Academy wouldn’t have killed me.
I shook my head and forced myself to concentrate. The wormhole leading to the Equestria System was located in the Azure Sector of the Tau Dewa Block, not a section I was terribly familiar with. I knew how to get there but had never explored it to any degree. Besides, it was just a little too close to the Klingon border for my liking, especially after the…incident. On the other hand, it might actually be the best choice in which to begin our partnership. It was nice and close to Trixie’s homeworld and there were bound to be at least a couple places that could benefit from a little temporary help and entertainment. Maybe a local bar that needed an entertainment pick-me-up or a merchant who needed another hand to deliver some goods. Being an intergalactic courier actually appealed to me a lot; the only thing that stopped me was the fact that it was quite dangerous. I didn’t exactly feel like taking on the Orion Syndicate in a Nova- Class. Sure, she could defend herself in a pinch but not much of one. Turning her into a battle cruiser wasn’t on my priority list nor was it even remotely within my budget. Still, maybe if just stuck with the inner trade routes, I could manage. I put the idea on the back burner and hailed the mess hall.
“Attention crewman Trixie, report to the bridge on the double.” I smiled and closed the com before she could sputter a response.
To my immense surprise, I heard the doors to the bridge slide open with a gentle hiss shortly after. Looking considerably more awake, Trixie stepped onto the bridge and immediately shot me a dirty look.
“Nice to see you too,” I ventured.
“You dare make demands of the Great and Powerful Trixie?” she began angrily.
“Man, you weren’t born with a sense of humor, were you?” I asked. She wore a slightly confused look on her face. “I was just kidding back there. We’re supposed to be working together from this point so I want you to know that until you wanna leave, this ship is as much your home as it is mine.” I wasn’t 100 percent certain but I could’ve sworn that her expression softened just a bit before returning to its previous state. “I want you to feel safe and secure here, I want you to succeed as a showmare and get ridiculously rich and famous,” I added with a smile. “But most of all, I want you to feel welcome. This may be my ship but as far as I’m concerned, you’re my guest. We could even be friends if you want but if you’re not feeling that, it’s all good. I just want us to get along at least.” Trixie stood in silent contemplation.
“I…I guess that would be acceptable,” she replied after a minute or so.
“Hmm? What did you say?” I asked, cupping a hand to an ear. “Didn’t quite catch that.” Trixie scowled at me for a moment then softened again.
“I said…I wouldn’t hate the idea…of us…getting along.”
“Glad to hear it,” I answered, giving her a thumbs-up. “I hate tsundere-storms.”
“What’s ‘tsundere’?” Trixie asked.
“Oh, it’s an overused and obnoxious plot device found in far too many works of fiction,” I explained without missing a beat. “But I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that. At least, I hope not.”
“Oh…” There was a pause as I racked my brain to find a way to kill the silence. An alert from the computer made me sigh with relief. Saved by the bell, I thought as I polarized the viewscreen. There it was, plain as day; the wormhole station, dead ahead.
“Hey, check that out,” I said, getting up from my chair. I pointed towards the screen at the fair-sized installation, directing her attention as I did so. “You see that? That’s Sigma Station. It monitors all the traffic that travels through the wormhole.” Trixie gave me another confused look. “Right; a ‘wormhole’ is like a tunnel through space. It takes you really, really far in a very short time. It’s kind of like…”
“…teleporting?” Trixie piped up, much to my surprise.
“Yes, kind of except that it’s not instant,” I explained further. “Close but not quite.”
“So…where will this one take us?” she asked nervously, and for good reason. In just a few short minutes, she’d be farther than practically any other member of her species (as far as I knew, at least). I was nervous the first time I left my homeworld. Ah, the memories. It had been almost eight months since I’d last laid eyes on my little blue and green piece of terra firma. I could only hope she wouldn’t get too homesick.
“We’re going to a sector of space called Tau Dewa. There’s a few planets there I wanna check out, see if anyone’s got any work available,” I replied. “Maybe there’ll be some opportunities for you to perform and make some decent cash, huh?”
“M…maybe…” Trixie answered nervously.
“Don’t worry, I know that it all seems scary right now. It sure as Hell was for me. But you know what the nice thing is?” She looked up at me as I smiled. “You wake up every day and you see these right out your window.” I pointed out at the stars. “I look at those and all I see are opportunities, chances to see and do things that few others will ever have the opportunity to do. That’s what I live for.” I looked at her anxious expression and gently placed my hand on her head, ruffling her ears. I felt her jump slightly but she soon relaxed.
“It’s a long way from Equestria, isn’t it?” I asked. She nodded. “I know. As long as we watch each other’s backs, we’ll be fine. We’re gonna take this galaxy by storm, you and I. You’ll see.” I knew it was a rather ambitious statement but it was a big galaxy. I was sure that we’d be able to make our marks somehow. She cleared her throat and I removed my hand from her mane. “Right. Sorry ‘bout that.” Nice timing, I thought as a hail from the station broke the silence. I wandered over to my chair and put it on-screen.
“Starship Ranger, this is Sigma Station. We have received your request for travel through the wormhole. It will open again in approximately five minutes. Please stand by and proceed only when instructed to do so.”
“Acknowledged. Ranger out,” I replied with a nod. “Well, looks like we’ve got five minutes until it’s our turn to go through. Care to take one last look before we leave?” I asked, bringing Equestria up on the view screen and enlarging it slightly.
“It’s…it’s so…small,” Trixie murmured. “I…I never knew…”
“Most planets look like that from this far away. You’ll get used to it.” For a moment, I wondered if she was having any second thoughts. I sighed, realizing what I had to do. “Are you…are you sure that you want to go? I mean, if you’d rather stay on Equestria…I’ll take you back and when I make enough to repay you, I’ll drop by.”
“Are you that eager to get rid of me?” she demanded.
“What? No, absolutely not! I just…don’t want you to get too upset when you look out the window and your home isn’t there.”
“Hmmph! The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t allow a mere rock to upset her!” Well, she puts on a decent front, I thought as she tried her best to look unattached even though her body language said it all. She was staring hard at the small blue dot among the stars and I could hardly blame her. I cried like a little bitch the first time I left Earth’s orbit. Trixie didn’t strike me as the type to cry like a little bitch, though. Still, she was hurting; there was no hiding that.
“So...that’s a ‘no’ then?” She nodded. Once, just once. It was all the reassuring I needed.
“That’s good ‘cause it’s our turn,” I replied as the station’s signal turned green a second after I switched the view to the wormhole as it suddenly burst into view like the maw of a massive ethereal serpent. “Now, try not to freak out. These wormholes look scary but it’s perfectly safe. Well, mostly.”
“Mostly!?” Trixie shouted.
“Don’t worry, no one’s disappeared in years!” I assured her, doing a very poor job of it.
“Wait! I wanna go back!”
“Too late! Here…we…go!” To my credit, I couldn’t have turned back even if I tried. The gravity well had us in its clutches, meaning that the only thing to do was to go straight into it, which we did. Of course, true to my word, Trixie’s scream hadn’t even reached its peak by the time we blasted out the other end. Fortunately, returning to normal space seemed to calm her down considerably. She was still shaking but her breathing had finally evened out.
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked, hoping she’d agree. My answer came in the form of a light-blue blast that sent me spiraling out of my chair and singing my shirt. “Okay, so a little warning next time, gotcha,” I groaned as I slowly got back up. “Ah, ah!” I yelled, putting my hands up as Trixie prepared another shot, her horn glowing threateningly. “I surrender! Cease fire, cease fire!”
“Trixie does not like surprises!”
“Yeah, I get that!” I replied, dusting myself off. “But look at it this way; now you’ve officially boldly gone where no mare has gone before!”
“Forgive me if that’s not the best news I’ve ever heard!”
“Then why’d you agree to come with me, huh?” I shot back. “Wouldn’t you feel safer back on your world? Maybe I should just turn around and bring you back.” Another awkward pause. These were becoming a habit and not one I enjoyed.
“No.” I heard her just fine but knowing her, the blue showmare needed to repeat herself if I were to coax anything out of her.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“Trixie…doesn’t have anypony…there for her.” Ah, so that was it. Even after all the new and frightening experiences in the last little while, the thought of being alone trumped them. My expression changed to an understanding smile and I nodded slowly. “She is…alone.” A soft sniff went unchecked and I could see the emotion in her eyes.
“Then what am I, a piece of meat?” I asked with a chuckle as I went to stand beside her. “Relax, I know what you meant. I also know that you’re not alone anymore. We’ve got each other now, right? Let’s look out for each other.”
“O…okay.”
“That’s better,” I replied. “Now, we’ve got some time before we reach the nearest system so…how ‘bout telling me about yourself? Then maybe I can share some stuff with you.”
“Your life does not interest Trixie at this time,” she replied haughtily.
“Suit yourself,” I replied with a shrug. “But that’s not gonna stop me from asking you about your life.”
“And what if Trixie doesn’t feel like sharing?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Then I hope she feels like listening ‘cause we’ve got a bit of a journey ahead of us and personally, I’d rather spend it doing something useful.” The more I pressed the issue, the more she stiffened until I gave up with a sigh. “Okay, fine. How about…a tour of the ship? Y’know, so you can find everything and never get lost. Sound like a plan?” Trixie thought about it.
“I…I guess that would be acceptable.” I was finally starting to get a grasp on how my new companion…is that the right word…okay, how my new associate, ticked. So far, I had deduced that in any situation in which she was angry or felt threatened, she’d switch to speaking in the third person, in contrast to when she felt safe or calm and therefore spoke normally. I considered myself very fortunate that, as emotionally volatile as she was, I had a way to reliably gauge her responses and act accordingly.
“Cool. Shall we?” I asked, motioning for her to follow me. She did and once inside the turbolift, I began my explanation. “Okay, first things first. This ship is called a Nova Class. It's a science vessel used for short-range research and analysis missions. As far as Federation ships go, this is a fairly small one. It’s got eight decks and each one serves a specific purpose. With me so far?” She nodded as the turbolift reached our first destination. “The deck that we spend most of our time on is called Deck 1. It’s got the bridge, my ‘ready room’ or whatever the Hell it’s called, and the escape pods. Usually, our rooms would be on Deck 1 but since this one’s a refit, they moved the crew quarters down a deck and used that space up on this deck to enlarge the computer core.”
“So…the ‘bridge’…is one Deck 1?” Trixie asked, pleasantly surprising me. I didn’t think she’d stay awake, much less ask questions.
“In this case, ‘bridge’ pretty much means ‘control room’,” I explained. “I control most of the Ranger’s functions from that room. Please, this way.” She followed me out of the turbolift and onto Deck 2. “This deck is called Deck 2. It has our rooms, the mess hall…” Trixie gave me a strange look. “Um, ‘mess hall’ on a ship means ‘kitchen’ or ‘eating area’. Anyway, Deck 2 also contains the upper cargo bay, impulse engines, some of the computer core, and more escape pods.”
The rest of the tour went much like the previous bit and inside of an hour, I had shown her the entire ship from stem to stern. As we toured, I shot the occasional glance at her, trying to determine what she thought about everything. Was she overwhelmed, scared, surprised? She wasn’t saying much (for a change), which didn’t exactly satisfy my curiosity. As we returned to the bridge, I took a seat in the captain’s chair and motioned for her to join me on the other seat.
“So…what did you think?” She looked up at me.
“Of what?”
“You know, the ship. You were pretty quiet during the tour. Were you bored or something?”
“I…I don’t know,” Trixie replied. “I wasn’t really thinking about it too much.”
“Ah, still thinking ‘bout home, huh?” She nodded. “I understand.” I pressed a button on my seat’s console and brought up a map of the galaxy. “Okay, we are here,” I added as a ship-shaped icon appeared, denoting our location. “Equestria is located in a ‘pocket sector’ of Tau Dewa. Right now, we’re close to the Klingon Empire so I think it’s best if we don’t get any closer. That means our options are…” I had to think about it. What we needed was a place that she would get used to more easily, somewhere that wouldn’t freak her out, somewhere tame.
Then it hit me.
“Starbase 24!” I exclaimed, making Trixie jump.
“What kind of place is that?” she asked somewhat suspiciously.
“Well, a Starbase is like…” I tried to think of something she might recognize for comparison’s sake. “I guess it’s like a city in space. All kinds of people live and work there. It’s a military outpost, a place to hang out…it pretty much does everything.”
“M…military?” I face-palmed. I should’ve known how the blue showmare might’ve felt about a military installation, especially a Federation one.
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing we have to worry about and that includes you,” I assured her with a gentle nod. “Besides, as crazy as this probably sounds, Equestria might be part of the Federation someday. Then we can help each other out. You pickin’ up what I’m throwing down?” Trixie nodded. She’d been very quiet and I was pretty sure I knew why. We needed something to do, something fun yet constructive at the same time. I suppose that’s when my second idea hit me. “Y’know,” I began again. “There’s a nice little lounge at the Starbase and I’m sure that Starfleet wouldn’t mind forking over some Energy Credits for a little entertainment for the stressed-out starship crews. I mean, everyone deserves some R&R, right?” I offered, hoping she’d agree. Once again, she pondered it, even placing a hoof under her chin as she thought.
“Trixie has decided that your idea is…acceptable.” Her answer felt labored and for a moment, I wondered if her hesitation was because of the new situation in which she’d soon find herself or the fact that she agreed with me.
“I’m glad you think so,” I replied with an inward sigh of relief. “‘Cause that’s where we’re headed. Computer, set a course for Starbase 24, warp 6.” There was a beep and before Trixie even had time to breathe in protest, the Ranger jumped into warp, leaving Tau Dewa in the proverbial dust. “Just so you know, it’s gonna be a little while before we get there. You wanna go check out the holodeck? It’s a great way to pass the time and I’ve got a few holonovels and games you might like.”
I was taken aback by the fierce scowl Trixie shot at me at the mere mention of the word ‘holo’. After a moment of realization, I wanted to slap myself for my stupidity and lack of sensitivity.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you,” I stammered hastily. “I lost my head there for a minute.”
“Hmmph! Have you no shame at all?” she demanded. “Those blasted ‘holo’-whatevers are the very reason Trixie was forced to leave her home!” As much as I wanted to remind her that she chose to come with me, I decided to stay quiet and focus on removing my feet from my mouth.
“I know and I’m sorry, I won’t bring them up again,” I assured her. “Okay, like I was saying, we’ve got some time to kill before we get to the station so feel free to take a nap or something.”
“Well, seeing as Trixie was so rudely woken up from a most wonderful sleep, she will return to her quarters for some proper sleep!” she replied indignantly.
“I’ll wake you when we get…” The hiss of the turbolift door cut me off. “…there.” I sighed and reclined in my chair. This was gonna be a long flight…
***
“Are we there yet?” Trixie asked over the COM, nearly making me spill my drink.
“You figured out how to use the COM?” I asked in surprise once I had composed myself a bit.
“What? Didn’t think a poor, backwater pony could figure it out?” Even though it was audio only, I could see the pout on her face.
“Well…” I scratched the back of my head nervously. “…yeah.”
“Hmmph!”
“Relax, I’m kidding,” I assured her. “I knew you’d get it eventually.”
“Well, now that I’ve got this stupid thing working, are we there yet?” she repeated.
“We’ll get there when we get there,” I replied, throwing in a fake yawn for kicks. “I told you before; this ship’s only rated for warp eight. I can’t just snap my fingers and get us there. Not like some people…” I grumbled as certain excerpts from Captain Picard’s autobiography came to mind.
“I thought warp was supposed to be fast!” I sighed inwardly. I didn’t exactly feel like explaining warp physics to a pony who loathed technology of any kind, besides the fact that I wasn’t even sure how it worked.
“It is but warp has different…speeds,” I replied hesitantly. I knew enough to be aware that warp wasn’t just going really fast. It was more like…pinching the space in front of your ship to lessen the distance and some ships could do that better than others. “The Ranger’s not bad for what it is but she’s definitely not the fastest ship you’ll see.”
“Then make it faster!”
“Damn it mare, I’m a traveler, not an engineer!” I answered, my expression as gruff as I could manage. “I mean, pulling a brand-new warp core out of my ass is all fine and dandy but as for installing the thing; that’s the kicker.”
“Well, you never will with that attitude! I thought you people could do anything with your ‘technology’.” I rolled my eyes; it wasn’t a very solid argument coming from a member of a species that used ‘magic’ in the most literal way possible. Instead of immediately rebutting her, I decided to just hang tight and ride the debate out, hoping it would distract her long enough to get to our destination.
“You’re right,” I replied, my voice absolutely dripping with false repentance. “I’ll talk to Starfleet immediately. We’ll get this straightened out right away, don’t you worry.”
“That’s better!” I snickered quietly enough to escape the prying ears of the COM system but loudly enough to provide a little self-satisfaction.
“We have arrived at Starbase 24. Now dropping out of warp.” the computer exclaimed. Saved by the proverbial bell again. I made a mental note to promote it at a more convenient time.
“What was that?” the blue mare asked.
“We’re here,” I answered as Starbase 24 came into view. “You might wanna come to the bridge; the view’s pretty nice right now.” That was my secret weapon and Trixie’s Achilles Heel; she simply could not resist a star-filled vista. Those glittery lights seemed to call her name and beckon her to join them and from what I’d seen, she was happy to oblige. I had to admit that her fascination with the phenomenon was making my job much easier, not to mention the enlarged viewscreen I had installed a few months back when I wasn’t ridiculously poor. I mean, that single modification is what landed me in the poorhouse in the first place but damn was it ever worth having to subsist on Tribble Treats for the better part of a month!
Okay, maybe I was exaggerating just a bit there. Anyway, Trixie soon joined me and, as predicted, began to admire the view before her. Starbase 24 was known for being in one of the most visually appealing locales that wasn’t considered lethal, like the Briar Patch or the Badlands. Did I ever tell you the story of how I made the Badlands Run in 12 parsecs? Another time perhaps.
Like most Starbases, 24 looked like a giant mushroom floating peacefully through the cosmos. It had a long-metallic ‘stem’ topped by a cap-like structure indicative of Starfleet design. I suppose that’s one of the traits that made my ship fairly unique among the traditional Federation vessels; instead of a round ‘saucer section’, the Ranger’s ‘saucer section’ was triangular with the pointed end facing the front. It was just one of those things I liked about my little ship.
“Starship Ranger, this is Starbase 24. Do you copy?” The voice of a Federation officer shook me from my thoughts.
“This is Cole Stevens of the Ranger. Permission to dock?” I asked hopefully whilst sending the necessary ship registry information while we waited for the go-ahead.
Ugh, I hated waiting in line at a Starbase.
They were huge but not gargantuan and there was nothing worse than having to lollygag around with your thumb up your ass while you waited for some hoity-toity Admiral to finish his fourth cup of tea. Fortunately, that was not the case and I was issued docking instructions without delay, which I immediately fed to the computer.
“Alright computer, just land this crate, would ya?” A beep of acknowledgement met my request and I leaned back in the chair as we slowly made our way towards the station.
***
“Well, here we are! Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat!” I exclaimed as we exited the docking umbilical tying the Ranger to the Starbase. I gave Trixie a glance and found a strange expression waiting for me. “Never mind. Alright first things first; we should probably head over to Administration and see if there’s any work available.”
“I thought we were going to see if the bar needed any entertainment,” Trixie pointed out.
“We’ll do both, don’t worry,” I assured her. “Of course, if you want, we could check out the bar first and get you sorted out.”
“I…guess that would be okay.”
She looked nervous as we walked, no doubt split between knowing what she had to do and where she had to do it. While the Klingons, Romulans, Andorians, and Ferengi we passed were completely normal for me, I’d wager anything that Trixie didn’t feel quite as comfortable. My suspicions were confirmed when she absentmindedly bumped into a Jem Hadar soldier. He growled at her and she let out an eep, something I was sure she wasn’t very proud of. Fortunately, he wasn’t predisposed to death or dismemberment at the time so I offered a quick apology and we continued, the blue mare watching where she was going much more closely.
Starbase 24 wasn’t the biggest station so we reached the Administrations office in a fairly timely fashion. I immediately requested an audience with the commander in charge of long-range deliveries (beaming was good but not for the distances they’d be using me for) and while he wasn’t available at the moment, the ensign in charge of the front desk assured me that he would return in just a few hours. That gave us plenty of time to check out the bar and employment prospects within.
So that’s what we did.
The bar itself, while nothing too fancy or special in any way, was nevertheless relaxing and had a pleasant enough atmosphere about it. Like most Starfleet institutions, this one was simple, Spartan, symmetrical, and very open-air. The bar itself consisted of several shelves and replicators and a small server. Numerous tables and chairs orbited the bar and to my delight, a small stage met my gaze, situated just to the side between the two seating areas. It seemed like an ideal place for one to begin a career in entertainment and I hoped Trixie felt the same way or we might’ve made the trip for nothing.
“So…whaddya think?” I asked as she gave it a once-over, than a twice-over, followed by (as I’d come to expect) a thrice-over. Finally, she stopped.
“I…suppose it will do. Hopefully, Trixie won’t have to perform in such…simple conditions too much.”
“Well, give ‘em a great show and with some luck, you won’t have to,” I encouraged. “Still, try to remember that no one starts at the top. You might’ve been somebody in Equestria but out here, you’re just another random alien trying to make their way in the universe. Think you can remember that?”
“Why do you talk like that?”
“Talk like what?”
“It’s somepony, not somebody. You’re not speaking to a body, you’re talking about a person. Honestly, who taught you how to speak?”
“Um…” She actually caught me off-guard with that. “My human parents who had never seen an Equestrian pony, much less heard one speak?”
“Hmmph! They should get out more!” Trixie replied indignantly, apparently having missed my referring to my parents in the past tense. That issue would be addressed later. “Why else have these fancy star-ships?”
“Don’t worry, I agree,” I answered with a nod. “But you see, starships are giving you a serious advantage.” She regarded me with a mix of confusion and skepticism.
“Trixie doesn’t follow.”
“Look at it this way. As far as we know, you’re one of if not the only Equestrian who’s ever gone this far from your home planet. That makes you unique and different. Even someone who’s been all over the Quadrants…” She raised an eyebrow. “…all over the place will be interested in what you can do. It’s a big galaxy out there. Anything new and exciting will be welcomed and appreciated, especially entertainment. If you can knock ‘em dead at these smaller venues, it won’t take long before word gets out! They’ll be, like…” I threw my hand up to accentuate my next point. “…Oh my gosh! Did you hear about the Great and Powerful Trixie? Oh, you mean that super-talented Equestrian who made the entire population of Vulcan wet themselves from smiling and laughing so much?”
Okay, it was a labored example but it got the job done. Despite the residual anxiety present on the showmare’s muzzle, she seemed to have warmed up to the idea considerably.
“Relax, you don’t have to say I’m right or anything,” I assured her with a cocky grin as she opened her mouth to say something. “I know that would just kill you inside.”
“I…that wasn’t…Trixie was going to say no such thing! Hmmph!” I smiled and quickly ruffled her mane.
“Whatever you say, princess. Oh, there’s the barkeep. Let’s go have a word with him, shall we?”
***
I waited until we were safely out of earshot of the esteemed barkeep before letting out a sigh of relief. I had to imagine that my light blue companion felt the same way. Negotiations couldn’t have gone better and after about 15 minutes, Trixie had her first gig. Now all we had to do was wait until later on when the bar was most likely to be busy. That gave us a couple of hours in which to find me a job as well, which prompted Trixie to raise an interesting point that in all my excitement, I had not considered.
“Well…what about you?”
“What about me?”
“…Never mind.”
“Oh no you don’t,” I countered. “What did I say about tsundering, hmm?” Trixie rolled her eyes.
“That it’s a tired and overused plot device and you will have none of it?” she replied correctly.
“Uh huh, damn rights,” I confirmed my position with a nod. “Now, what were you going to say?”
“Um…well, if you’re going to be working…how will you…watch…me…” It was my turn to roll my eyes.
“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that.”
“Trixie said, how will you watch her if you’re working somewhere else!? You need to pay better attention to what Trixie says, human!” There we go, I thought with a smile, though a short-lived one. I had to think about that.
“Well, I guess there’s only one option, then,” I replied with a shrug.
“Ha! Trixie knew it! You’d rather get your own Bits rather than help Trixie earn any herself! That’s just like a human, too! You’re nothing but a…”
“As usual, you didn’t let me finish,” I interrupted as gently as I could, given the parameters of the conversation. “I may be human but I’m not a complete bastard. If it means missing your first show, then how could I even consider doing anything else? I’d like to be there for you ‘cause I know it’s gonna be scary performing so far away from home. I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t support you?” The look on the showmare’s face was a mix of confusion and bewilderment, bolstering my theory that even back home, she wasn’t exactly overwhelmed with company.
“You…you mean it? You’d better not be lying! Trixie hates liars!”
“Hey, if I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’,” I assured her, putting my hands up defensively. “I’ll be right there, I promise,” I added, pointing to a seat fairly close to the stage.
“You’d better be…” she muttered.
“Is there anything you need?” I asked after a pause.
“For what?”
“For your act. Props, that kind of thing.”
“If you recall, you crushed everything Trixie owns when your ship landed on her cart!”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” I half-mumbled. “Still feeling kinda bad about that.”
“Kind of?”
“Aaaanyway, is there anything you need for the show tonight? I don’t have much left in the replicator ‘cause somebody went Rambo with the last of the food but I might be able to synthesize a little something.”
“Trixie will be fine even without her props and especially without any help from you.” Her tone said it all; that was the end of that.
“Alright, if you’re sure,” I capitulated, throwing my hands up again. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” I instinctively headed for the bar.
“Trixie won’t change her mind.” She didn’t need to say it; I realized her changing her mind about anything was about as likely as the Borg performing a flash-mob polka.
One interesting aspect of living or otherwise operating in space for any decent amount of time is that time seems to go by much more quickly than if one spent it on a planet. I think a physicist explained it to me once but I’m waaaaay too dumb for advanced astrophysics. I can barely run my own ship for Christ’s sakes and even then it takes an advanced computer to do most of the dirty work. Anyway, what I have realized since then is that they were right; before we knew it, the place had just about filled to capacity.
It was then that I noticed the clientele…and gulped nervously.
It was almost all Klingons, a species known for barbarism, a love of honor, and an insatiable appetite for war. I could only imagine what they would think of a pastel pony trying to do magic tricks, and simple ones at that. Sure, there were a few humans and even a couple Romulans but the fact remained that Trixie needed something worthy of an old Michael Bay motion picture to get any reaction from this crowd, much less a favorable one. Even though I didn’t know anything about my frie…er, cohort’s routine, I knew Trixie had her work cut out for her.
If she was nervous, she didn’t show it. I was sure it’d be different once all eyes were on her instead of their Bloodwine and Synthale. After a few tense minutes, it was time for the show to begin.
“Good luck out there,” I whispered, patting her head. “Remember; if you need me, just…signal or something and I’ll help you as best I can.”
“Like Trixie will need it.” More than you know, I thought as I turned to leave.
“Um…one more thing. There’s something you should know about Klingons…”
“Trixie knows what she’s doing! Go away!” she hissed as the lights dimmed. I shrugged and scurried off, locating a seat close enough to the stage but far enough to blend in with the crowd.
“Alright, ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between, let’s give it up for the…” the barkeep checked the pad to make sure he was reading correctly. “…The Great and Powerful Trixie!” How’d she make that fanfare go off, I wondered. I don’t remember her requesting any sound equipment.
“Watch and be amazed as the Great and Powerful Trixie…amazes you with feats of…”
“What is this petaQ?!” I groaned as a Klingon interrupted her…loudly. Fortunately, Trixie managed to stay professional and kept going.
“…amazes you with feats of prestidigitation and magic the likes of which you’ve never seen!”
“More like the greatest chalth we have ever had the displeasure of witnessing!” another called, much to the delight of his compatriots. They roared with laughter and sneered at the struggling showmare, much to my dismay. I wondered how long she’d be able to hold up…and hoped she wouldn’t say something stupid and rile them up. I shuddered as I remembered the incident. “Tell me, entertainer, how do you plan to ‘entertain’ us, hmm?”
“Well, I…” Damnit, I thought as I saw Trixie’s usual bravado begin to crack. I cursed the fact that I could only watch as she slowly descended into uncertainty, beaten before she’d even begun. That’s when I decided that just because she didn’t need my help, it couldn’t hurt.
“Yeah, let’s hear it for the Great and Powerful Trixie!” I shouted, hoping that my slow clap would encourage others to offer their support. Not many did but it was a start. I hoped that it would be enough to reinvigorate her.
“Ahem…of course! How does this grab you?” she exclaimed, creating a shower of sparks and glitter that rained down upon the stage and anyone seated close-by. She grinned in triumph as bored expressions looked back. Someone even yawned, which was nothing compared to the heckling Klingons near the front.
“Ha! Is that all the ‘Great and Powerful Trixie’ has to offer?” one demanded. “I’ve seen targs do better tricks in their sleep!”
“T…then how about this one!” I had to give credit; that girl did not like to give up, which she proved by creating an admittedly impressive fireworks display, lighting the dimmed deck up in bright flashes of color. Surely, that must’ve…I looked around the room…damnit, tough crowd.
“F…fear not, everypony,” Trixie assured them as she sweated. “That is but a mere sample of Trixie’s power! My next trick will…”
“Make us what? Fall asleep?!” a Klingon roared, met soon after with raucous laughter. My hands balled into fists as I tried to control myself. Getting involved would be a stupid thing to do, I silently told myself. Especially with Klingons. The smart thing to do would be to leave them alone and hope they pass out from the tankards of Bloodwine they’d been consuming for the past several hours.
Have I mentioned that I’m kinda stupid sometimes? I cleared my throat.
“Why don’t you shut your mouth, foul petaQ, before I do it for you!?” I shouted at the offending Klingon.
You could’ve heard a pin drop. The Klingon turned slowly and his furious eyes zeroed in on me. I tried to look brave and stoic as he slowly walked towards me, pushing other patrons out of his way as he approached.
“You say something, qoH?” he growled as he leaned forward, towering over me.
“You’re damn right I did,” I replied with all the courage I could muster. “Those who torment anyone smaller than themselves surely have little honor.” I regretted it as soon as I said it, even before he grabbed me by my shirt and hoisted me into the air.
“I will make you regret those words…” he growled. I prepared myself for the unfortunate and thorough beating that was sure to follow.
“Hey!” a familiar voice shouted. I gingerly opened one eye. Was that…nah, couldn’t have been. “Are you too afraid to challenge the Great and Powerful Trixie by yourself?” she asked with her trademark smirk. The Klingon growled and dropped me as he turned to face his accuser.
“You dare call me a ‘coward’?” he shouted, pointing at her. I watched in amazement as Trixie didn’t even so much as flinch.
“I dared! If you’re so brave, then come on up here and prove it in front of everypony!” the blue showmare challenged.
“Oh, it is on,” the Klingon growled as he stepped onto the stage. Trixie held her ground as he took a fighting stance. “Vay cho!” With that, he dashed at her with the speed of a Klingon warrior.
I’m pretty sure that he didn’t expect what happened next. Hell, I’m pretty sure nobody saw it coming. I had a hunch but couldn’t be sure until I actually saw him rise up off his feet, elevated by a blue aura surrounding his body. The look on his face was priceless! Rendered immobile, he floundered about in the air like a pissed-off Magicarp before Trixie sent him to the floor on his ass. He growled and tried again but Trixie was ready. As he neared her, she deftly stepped aside and conjured up an oil slick just in time for the angry Klingon to step on it. With a cry of surprise, he skidded off the stage and landed unceremoniously in a dazed heap.
“Trixie, behind you!” I yelled as one of the Klingon’s entourage leapt out of his seat wielding a Bat’leth. Before I could ask myself why no one else in the audience seemed to care about the epic rumble brewing around them, the warrior launched himself at the blue mare. Not to be outdone, Trixie jumped out of harm’s way and quickly conjured up a Bat’leth of her own. The blades clashed and sparks flew as they fought onstage and I suddenly realized why no one was stopping them; from the looks on their faces, it was probably the best show they’d seen in a while. Surprisingly, Trixie was holding her own, parrying and striking with a level of skill that must’ve shocked her opponent.
Suddenly, there was a gasp as Trixie’s weapon flew over her heads, dislodged from her magical grip by the warrior opposite. Without missing a beat, the showmare snatched the Bat’leth and caught the Klingon’s wrists with it. The audience watched in awe as she swiftly shrunk the Bat’leth until it clasped the Klingon’s wrists like a pair of handcuffs. Finally, the scene became too much and the crowd erupted into laughter and cheers as one Klingon kept trying to get to his feet, failing each time while the other danced about in a rage, unable to use his hands.
“Well? Anypony else want some?” Trixie demanded of the Klingon group. They shook their heads, realizing that brawn was no match for magic.
“Everybody give it up for the Great and Powerful Trixie!” I shouted, running on stage to raise her front hoof victoriously. She looked up at me in surprise as I smiled at her. After a moment, a small smile graced her muzzle and she waved back at the crowd with renewed enthusiasm.
***
“Man, what a night,” I exclaimed as we collapsed against my bridge chair. “I’ve gotta say; that definitely went better than expected.” Too exhausted to start another fight, Trixie simply settled for scowling at me. “C’mon, admit it; we kicked ass back there.”
“Trixie…I…guess we did okay…” she admitted. “How did we do?”
“Oh right, your pay,” I dug out my pad and checked the numbers. “Yup, the Energy Credits have already been transferred to your account.”
“My…account?”
“Well, yeah, how else are we supposed to manage what you earn? I set one up for you, like, eons ago.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Actually, it was more like this morning but you get the…” I stopped as she suddenly hugged me. It was quick but got the point across. I ruffled her ears affectionately.
“If you ever tell anypony about that, Trixie will end you.”
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Ok, I normally avoid crossovers but this one is actually interesting and amusing. So congrats on being the first crossover that has appealed to me.
Trixie has taken her first step into a larger world.
An amusing chapter. Trixie learning all the the new things being presented to her and still managing to go with the flow is great. She's got a lot to learn but she picks up things (literally) fairly quickly and is able to use it to her advantage. Interesting to see that in Equestria Trixie isn't all that impressive with her magic, but against beings that don't have that she's able to hold her own.
The smatterings of Star Trek quotes was a little jarring. They may seem cute but I find them distracting and pull me out of the story. Might want to cut down on those.
Enjoying the experience so far! Keep at it.
Wow...Cole must have been loaded at some point to be able to afford a whole Nova class ship, even a Starfleet surplus one. I'd complain about him running a ship meant for a crew of 80 or so by himself...but Scotty was able to jury rig a Constitution class, a ship meant for a crew of 400+, to run for a crew of 5 back in the 23rd century(albeit with a hiccup or two), so I imagine it would be simpler to rig a much smaller and advanced ship like the Ranger to run for 1 in the 24th.
Still waiting to see why exactly Starfleet's messing around with a pre-warp culture like Equestria...wormholes and magic or not.
Parsecs are a period of length equaling roughly 3 light years! GRRRRRRR
NOOOOO! Have you ever even heard of the great awakening?!
Hold on, calling someone...
Free: Layout of a Nova class like the Ranger! By the way, Nova class is 165 metres, not 221.
static4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090925011545/startrek/images/2/20/Nova_MSD.jpg
The Great and Powerful Trixie shall not be outdone twice! (seriously, keep one, delete the other. Either works fine.)
3590657 He is probably defending Star Wars. Also, Han can make the run in parsecs. It means he probably takes the dangerous shorter route. Also, Great chapter! This story needs more views.
SPOCK. THAT IS!
And he's back from the dead!
Well, if these speeches are any indication he should be able to!
That reminded me of these:
Sucks for you, then, that your ship's power source is close enough to infinite. At least as far as the difference between power available and power the replicator uses goes.
Mess hall is eating area, galley is kitchen.
She also missed the point about your parents having been human. News flash, Trixie! Ponies are not the only species! Not even on your own homeworld. Not even the only sapient one there, too. Maybe that is the secret behind things like Buffalo aggression and Equestria's great villains. They're just so sick of the Equestrian's naive, accidental arrogance.
7437330
That said, two details I vaguely remember from watching Star Trek:
1. Replicator's don't actually perform permanent matter-energy conversion because of how much energy it actually takes to make a given volume of matter. (Antimatter is the most powerful way to store energy because it's 100% efficient matter-to-energy conversion. You'd literally be performing a 1-to-1 conversion of fuel to replicator output, then adding on the energy cost to perform the conversion.)
Instead, the ship has a store of "replicator mass" that's replenished by taking apart stuff that's no longer needed (broken parts, human waste, etc.) in the inverse of what replicators do and then storing it in a neutral form until it's needed... so, if it hadn't been something that's going to wind up in the disposal soon, he might have had a point on that aspect.
2. While I don't know about the replicators causing it to run appreciably low, given how many critical systems share the same power generation, the ship's fuel is consumable in a non-trivial amount of time, as are the dilithium crystals used to control the matter-antimatter reaction. (See, for example, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, where one of the issues driving the plot is that the time-travel "drained" (decrystallized, if "Is there any way to re-crystallize dilithium?" is any indicator) "these Klingon crystals".
http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/USS_Asimov_(Nova_class)
Also, while the Asimov does not have an NCC number listed, it should be above 72000, as the only Nova class vessels with known NCCs are Equinox (72381) and Nova (73515).
Commander E.J. Willette
Chief Science Officer, USS Ares NCC-63591
STARFLEET