Love and Pranks
(comment and please don't talk about the grammar or punctuation)
Twilight Sparkle and her Friends had arrived in Canterlot and made their way up to the Grand Galloping Gala. Celestia and Luna stood in the clouds watching the events unfold Luna was a bit shocked when the ponies all started singing "Are they singing?" the moon goddess asked her sister "Do they always do that?"
Celestia chuckled "No no only on special occasions and I'd say the Grand Galloping Gala is a truly special occasion don't you think?" Celestia asked her younger sister
Luna nodded "I'd say it is especially since this will be the first one I've been to since my return" She smiled and bounced up in joy "I can't wait to see how much the Gala has changed since my absence!"
Celestia smiled at her sister and was about to say something when the song that the little ponies on the ground were singing came to an end she looked at the time "Oh my it seems were late for our very important date Lulu" Celestia said with mock surprise in her voice as she and her sister left to go to the Gala.
Twilight Sparkle and her friends went their separate ways when they entered the Gala. Twilight walked into the room she had promised to meet Celestia in and waited patiently for her teacher. After a few minutes Luna and Celestia came into the room and Twilight smiled and hugged her teacher
"Twilight Sparkle my most faithful student, it is so good to see you again I hope you remember my sister Princess Luna" Celestia said returning Twilight's hug
Twilight smiled "Its good to see you to Princess" she then looked to Luna "how have you been Luna? We haven't seen you since the party at Ponyville"
Luna blushed and looked at the ground "I..I've been busy studying up on all the history and technology in Equestria that I missed." she explained with a slight whisper
Celestia looked at her sister with a slight look of shock in her eye the moon princess NEVER became shy in-front of ponies no matter how long she had been gone. Celestia smiled and looked down at Twilight 'oh this will be so much fun' she thought trying to keep her face from revealing anything to the two ponies in the room.
"This is going to be so much fun Princess I can't wait to tell you all about what I learned in ponyville!" Twilight bounced happily.
Celestia smiled at her "As fascinating as that sounds Twilight I'm afraid I have some other matters to attend to it seems the Buffalo in Appleloosa need to meet me for a peace conference and I can't keep them waiting" The princess cleverly lied with a fake frown on her face.
Twilights face went from happy to sad in an instant but she then cheered herself up "I understand princess you probably can't let something so important wait." she gave a fake smile
Luna on the other hand had a mixed look on her face. One of the looks was the look of I'm going to kill you when today is over, the other was THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Luna adored Twilight Sparkle she had always wanted to talk to her but never had the time nor the courage to and Celestia was giving her the chance.
Celestia winked to Luna "But I'm sure you can tell Princess Luna all about your studies she's an egghead by birth and loves to learn new things" Celestia teased her younger sister
"Oh go talk to your buffalo before I say something I regret" Luna teased back
Celesta just chuckled and hugged her sister before she left she whispered good luck in her ear and flew off towards Appleloosa
Luna sighed and looked at Twilight who wore a sad expression on her face she was turning to leave but Luna stopped her "hey come on now just because Celestia is busy doesn't mean she didn't want to here your stories" Luna said trying to cheer the young unicorn up
Twilight sighed "Your right Princess Luna, Its just I wished she had more time to talk"
Luna stared at Twilight for a moment "You and me both Twilight she is always so busy I barely even get the chance to talk to her" she explained
Twilight's expression turned to shock "Really? but your her sister!" she shouted a little to loud
Luna laughed "Yes but royal duty comes first and tonight is no different" she said "but enough mopping how about we go outside and have some fun?" Luna offered
Twilight smiled at this "Sure what do you have in mind?" she asked
Luna looked at her "have you ever crashed a party?" she questioned Twilight shook her head. Luna's smile got bigger "I'll let you in on a secret" she whispered to Twilight "The Grand Galloping Gala is incredibly boring, So this year Celestia and I were going to pull a couple of pranks to liven things up a bit would you like to try doing that?" she asked
Twilight didn't know what shocked her the most. the fact that Celestia was planning on pranking the Gala or the fact that Luna was asking Twilight to help prank the Gala. Twilight thought about it for a minute on the one side it would be fun on the other it could ruin her friends evening but then again Celestia was going to do it anyway.
Luna looked at Twilight with pleading puppy dog eyes and Twilight who was about to say no sighed "Fine" she said
Luna grabbed Twilight and smiled "Thank you thank you thank you!" she cheered as she dragged Twilight out the door and into the city of Canterlot "Come on I know just who to prank first" she exclaimed excitedly Twilight sighed this was going to be a long night.
Celestia sat on top of a cloud looking down at the gala she had everything she needed to enjoy her evening. she had popcorn, soda, cake, and other sweets and now she waited for events to unfold.
Luna led Twilight out into the royal garden Luna was moving so fast and Twilights dress was impeding her speed but Twilight wouldn't complain. when they reached their destination Luna looked at Twilight with a big smile on her face.
"Alright part one of our plan" Luna pulled out a metal object and showed it to Twilight.
Twilight looked at the object "is that a dog whistle?" she asked "why in the name of Celestia would we need a dog whistle?"
Luna chuckled at the fact that Twilight could be so clueless "Its part one of the plan" she explained "why don't I just show you what I mean" she said with a mischievous smile
As Fluttershy came into the garden, Luna smiled "right on time" she said with a bit of joy in her voice. she looked at Twilight Sparkle "alright I need you to slip this on to Fluttershy's dress" she explained.
Twilight sparkle frowned at her "But we can't prank Fluttershy! that's like taking away a dragon's gems!" she almost shouted but she caught herself.
Luna looked at Twilight "Trust me its all part of the plan" she said as she handed Twilight the dog whistle "Pretend its magic training, use your magic to teleport that dog whistle without being noticed" she whispered
Twilight sighed and focused hard on the whistle after a moment the object disappeared and reappeared between Fluttershy's ear the yellow mare didn't even notice. Twilight looked at Luna "now what?" she asked
Luna smiled and used her magic to whip up a small breeze which started to blow the whistle. "Now we move to phase two" she said as the two snuck away towards the party.
Rainbow Dash sat next to Spitfire talking with the rest of the Wonder Bolts not noticing Luna and Twilight sneaking around the Gala.
Twilight and Luna stood in the shadows Luna looked at Twilight "Now I'm going to place a spell on Rainbow Dash that prevents her from being seen by the Wonder Bolts" she explained
Twilight looked at her with more shock in her eyes "but whats the point in making Rainbow invisible to the Wonder Bolts" she asked she wasn't shocked that they were pranking rainbow she was shocked their was a spell that worked like that.
Luna chuckled "Well if all go's to plan Rainbow Dash will freak out and try to get their attention" she explain as she cast the spell. "now we move to Phase three" she said as they moved to the area where Pinkie Pie was.
"what are we going to do to Pinkie?" Twilight asked excitedly at first she wasn't into the idea of pranking all of her closest friends but over the course of 30 minutes the idea started to warm up to her and she wanted Pinkie Pie to get her just desserts.
Luna smiled "Were going to take advantage of her love of excitement" she explained and laughed when Twilight looked more confused than ever they stuck to the shadows so they wouldn't be noticed as they moved closer to Pinkie.
"Just do as I do" Luna said closing her eyes she projected her thoughts into Pinkies mind. "Pinkie Pie why are you just sitting their instead of partying like the rock star you are?" Luna asked in Pinkie's voice
Pinkie looked around for a second and then sighed it was probably just her imagination
Luna spoke again "you know this party could really use some singing and dancing" she explained in pinkie's voice again
Pinkie smiled at the thought of singing and stood up "but how am i going to sing when everyone here are all just big snooty snooty pants" she asked
Luna smiled she had her fish on the hook "You'll think of something Pinkie Pie you always do" she finished and left her mind she then turned to Twilight "our job is done how about we go outside and get some air and let things play out?" she asked
Twilight Sighed she really wanted to do some more pranking but didn't question it they walked out side and sat on a hill over looking the gala Twilight noticed Prince Blueblood and Rarity and looked at Luna "Shouldn't we prank them to? what if they fall in love?" Twilight asks
Luna just laughs "Have you seen Prince Blueblood?He is the most snooty pony in all of Equestria he thinks the world revolves around him"
Twilight sighed and then looked down to see Applejack trying to sell her apple products she was about to suggest they prank her but then thought against it that would have been unethical especially since Applejack was working instead of partying.
Luna looked up at the moon as 'should i tell her how I feel' she asked her self she turned to look at Twilight "umm Twilight?" she asked nervously
Twilight looked at Luna "Ya?"
Luna started to blush "umm I just wanted to say thank you for coming to help me with these pranks and umm I also wanted to say I love you" she whispered the last part
Twilight looked at her "umm no problem but i couldn't quite here the last part" she said with a smile
Luna sighed and looked down at the ground "umm I like you...I mean I like you a lot and well" she was blushing even harder now
Twilight looked at her blankly for a second and then her face turned red when she understood what the princess meant "Oh you mean you?" Luna nodded "You mean when you say you like me you mean you LIKE me" she asked Luna nodded "but..." Twilight trailed off
Luna looked at Twilight with a sad look "so you don't like me" she asked with tears flowing down her cheeks
Twilight wrapped a hoof around Luna and kissed her on the cheek Luna was surprised
"I didn't say that I didn't like you" Twilight explained "I just couldn't explain how i felt" she continued "I don't know you that well Princess but I'd be willing to get to know you better if you'd let me" she whispered
Luna smiled and kissed Twilight on the lips "Thank you Twilight Sparkle" she whispered as the two kissed a flash appeared behind them and the both turned to look it was Celestia with a camera
"Yes! I got the picture!" Celestia cheered as she held up the camera
"Celly! what are you doing here?!" Luna yelled at Celestia running to get the camera
Celestia laughed "I wouldn't want to miss my little sisters and my most faithful students first kiss now would I?" she asked as Twilight just looked at Celestia with a dumbstruck look on her face
"You planned this!" Twilight shouted to Celestia who looked slightly guilty
"Yes I did Twilight Sparkle but don't tell me you didn't enjoy Luna kissing you" she teased as Twilight's face turned crimson red.
"Celly I knew you were sneaky but spying on us like that!?" Luna yelled
Celestia frowned and gave Luna the camera "fine here" she said giving her sister the camera. Right when Luna got the camera she destroyed it.
"Well now that thats over Luna I think its time you go visit some ponies before the Gala ends." Celestia tells Luna. Luna turns and leaves but not before winking at Twilight
Celestia chuckled "Great now she'll be sneaking out of the castle to see you" she said looking at Twilight "I'm sorry my student for tricking you but their are some lessons that can't be taught" she explained she leaned into Twilight's ear "And I'm sure that kiss taught you a lot didn't it"
Twilight blushed even brighter and Celestia laughed "Run along back to the Gala Twilight before you turn redder than an apple orchard" she teased
Twilight turned to her mentor "But what about the time we were going to spend together I had so much i wanted to tell you" she explained still thinking about the kiss she received from Luna.
Celestia just smiled "I'll catch up with you in a moment I have some unfinished business" she explained as Twilight started to walk back to the Gala.
Celestia smiled when Twilight was out of sight she pulled out a role of film that was taken from the camera and smiled "much unfinished business" she said in a dark tone
A few days later Twilight was walking through Ponyville when she noticed all of her friends including spike were gathered around giggling. she walked up to them and asked "whats going on?"
Applejack and Rainbow Dash both couldn't help but fall over laughing, Fluttershy was blushing while Pinkie Pie starting talking about a party. It was finally rarity who spoke up "I didn't know you were into that kind of thing Twilight"
Twilight looked at Rarity for a moment then to Spike that's when she noticed the Picture that he was holding, she fainted from embarrassment.
(First shipping fic ever! sorry if the chapter seemed rushed)
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Actually it was really good i really think you did a good job
10959 thanks XD
I'm afraid I wasn't particularly impressed with this one. No complaints about the shipping itself, but the entire thing was just... Sloppy.
It's fine to work on "explaining" why the Gala went so badly for the Mane 6, but these "practical jokes" were hideously cruel. I could potentially see "Trollestia" doing them, but Twilight? Doesn't really seem like her idea of fun. (Heck, even Pinkie and Rainbow is against pranking Fluttershy, so having friendly Twilight do it seems unlikely.)
I also felt that the "moments" with Twilight and Luna was lacking in emotion. Well, aside from Twilight being shocked. She apparently spent half this fanfic in shock. Oh well, just my opinions. Take them for what they are, opinions :).
10975 I wrote this for a contest and i admit i did write it fast i mean fast! this is my first shipping thing ever and I've never been good at conveying emotion in a comedy/love thing XD
"Luna laughed "Yes but royal duty comes first and tonight is no different" she said "but enough mopping how about we go outside and have some fun?" Luna offered"
You've reduced Luna to a mere housemaid? The nerve!
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11110 lol spell check sucks ass
I'm willing to forgive poor punctuation.....to a point. When, however, you decide to forgo the use of comma's whatsoever, I'm going to call you out on it. That's terrible, especially for a dialogue heavy piece, and you need to make an attempt to fully utilize all the writing tools available to you in the future.
11128 As i have said before this was written hastely for a contest on deviant art, I didn't have time to add commas and fix punctuation issues and if you look in my fanfic the story of stardust i use commas and i have an editor who fixes any remaining issues. Its kind of hard to utilize all your writing tools when your rushed so thanks for your input but I've already established that the punctuation is crap.
If it weren't for spell check i don't thing anything i typed would make sense.....Anyways good work on the story.......(looks wait why isn't there a luna emotion?)...........
11148 lol thanks
Great job here i really loved this, Twilight X Luna has always been my favorite romantic shipping. I can't blame you for grammar or punctuation those are my low points too. I just can't focus enough on those things while I'm writing because i'm so engaged in what I'm doing, and I'm sure it's the same for you. I don't think it takes away from the quality of the story you wrote at all.
Signed,
The Pegasus Brony
11247 thanks XD TwiLuna is my favorite paring so i was really excited about writing this story
11272 thanks and yes the contest is still on i'll send u the site
You do know that you asking not to complain about the spelling, grammar, and what not... will TEMPT me to find the mistakes, point them out, and rail on you for them, right?
While I'm not going to point them out for you, since you seem to have noticed them on your own, what I am going to do is be perfectly honest. Rushed writing is not good writing, and this is a case-in-point. You should have polished this beforehand, with all the bells and whistles attatched, in order for it to even be considered as a contender. Harsh, yes. Blunt, absolutely. True? I'll let you decide that one.
The premise is... passable. Not something I'd work with, but if it gets your juices going, that's fine. Fact is though that the way things go down is questionable at best. Paring's interesting, but lacks conviction and emotional content, the two things needed to make any pairing work. At best, this is a friendshipping fic, but that's my personal opinion.
12369 And as i should have said in the description this is not my normal thing for writing. I don't write Shipping its not who I am, I was just in a group who had a contest. I didn't choose the topic and I rushed to write the fic because I wanted to see what I could write when I just write and not stop. If you want to see a thought out Fan Fic that I've read Go read the Story of Stardust. It takes me a week to plan and write a chapter and then it takes a couple of days to edit. This story was Written on a whim and nothing more.
hm... though you said punctuation and grammar shouldn't get criticized, I really have to add it here:
There is a reason, why its essential. It helps to read the story more fluently :D (I don't want to sound like a fucking teacher, so I'll keep this short).
You had some problems to distinguish ''You're'' and ''Your'', it's not a great problem, I know it's like a plague in America, but still it is just... well... annoying?...
Still, I'm not the right person to criticize the english skills of others (I'm from Germany).
For such a contest-story, it's still fine.
^ I'm not around here for a long time, so I'm still trying, which BBCodes work...
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Now to the story:
You said it at the very beginning of the description that you're not into shipfics. This fact saves you from... getting teared apart by me...
) completely ruined it. You said, it is for a contest, which is about shipfics in between Luna and Twilight. Still, it's a great comedyfic ( and a great gapfiller before going to bed ) with ambition to get a shipfic.
This story is a good comedyfic - nothing less, but nothing more. It had very much potential, besides the fact that the rushed romance part ( which was about 5 sentences long
If it's not your style, you shouldn't try, even if you only got caught up in a competition.
Because of the fun parts and the attempt to write a shipfic, I'll vote 4 stars.
Huh. This story was published on my birthday.
It was a nice story.
look man i thought that this was really good and that you should start doing more of this