4. Run Runaway
Trixie finally managed to untangle herself from the Apple family banner, with help from Raindrops once the pegasus had joined her. It still took several minutes, however, and by the time she was free, a number of ponies had begun to creep back into the festival grounds, given that there was no longer a gigantic blue bear destroying it.
“Where did it go?” one pony asked as Trixie shook her left rear hoof free of the streamer. This was followed by numerous questions, all of them directed at Trixie and Raindrops, but the two ignored them as they both trotted over to Twilight Sparkle, who was still passed out, but looked mostly unharmed. Trixie breathed out a sigh of relief, turning around to regard the crowd.
“Is anypony hurt?” she asked, slipping comfortably into her role of ‘Representative of the Night Court of Luna,’ which was her normal job in Ponyville. This usually simply meant that she served as a glorified messenger between the Ponyvillians and Luna, but in times like these the official authority was useful.
There was several minutes of low chatter between everypony as they checked each other. Fortunately, nopony seemed to have been injured by the Ursa. Trixie leaned quickly that there was a good reason for that: despite its later actions, apparently the Ursa had rather peacefully wandered into Ponyville initially, largely unnoticed due to essentially the entire town being at the Eventime festival. On sighting its approach, most ponies had quite sensibly already fled; the remainder made good their escape once the Ursa had turned obviously violent.
“Did you get rid of it?” a pony, an orange colt with a green mane, asked.
Before she even actively thought about it, Trixie was opening her mouth to answer yes, and then proceed to go on about how she had been instrumental and a vital part of doing that very thing – at least until she saw Raindrops watching her actions closely, left eyebrow raising by about half an inch.
“I helped,” Trixie decided after a moment, ignoring a twinge in her jaw as she turned around and pointed to Twilight, who was awake and groggily getting up onto her own four hooves, shaking her head. A look of mild panic overcame her features when she saw how many ponies she was surrounded by. Trixie placed a re-assuring hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “But most of the credit goes to Twilight Sparkle,” the mare explained. “Raindrops and I distracted the Ursa, but she was the one who cast the spell that teleported it away.”
Trixie blinked a few times even as she finished saying that. Huh. That hadn’t been as hard to admit as she thought it was going to be.
“Wow…” a short green colt with an orange mane said, trotting forward several paces, eyes locked on Twilight. “You beat an Ursa Major!”
“An Ursa what?” Raindrops asked.
“An Ursa Major!” the colt repeated. “A big bear, bigger than any other bear! The biggest bear to ever walk Equestria! Nopony but the Princess is supposed to be able to beat one!”
Trixie pouted a little. “I helped,” she repeated in a low voice. She heard Raindrops chuckle, but decided to ignore it.
Twilight closed her eyes, shaking her head. “That wasn’t an Ursa Major,” she explained. “That was just a baby. An Ursa Minor.”
“A baby?” numerous ponies exclaimed at her statement. Trixie, herself, was having a difficult time comprehending that. “If that’s an Ursa Minor…what’s an Ursa Major like?”
The lavender unicorn laughed, rubbing a hoof behind her head. “You don’t want to know!” she responded, smiling a little and finding some inner reserve of socialness. “But trust me, I’d never be crazy enough to try and bring an Ursa Major into…town…” Her voice trailed off as she realized what she had just said, or more to the point implied, eyes wide and pupils shrinking to tiny dots. Looks of furor that would have done the Ursa Minor proud began to appear on their faces of the Ponyvillians as their eyes locked unerringly onto Twilight Sparkle.
The lavender unicorn sputtered a little, before snapping her eyes shut, horn glowing brightly and disappearing in a flash and a pop. There was a protracted silence, before Trixie turned to Raindrops and poked a hoof at where Twilight had been.
“That one’s not my fault,” she insisted.
---
Trixie found Twilight Sparkle on the floor of her wagon, saddlebags slung over her back and desperately looking between a pair of books – from the looks of things, trying to decide which of the two thick tomes to take with her. On hearing her enter, the lavender unicorn eeped and spun around, horn glowing brightly. “Stay back!” Twilight ordered. “I have a horn and I know how to use it!”
Trixie decided that, given Twilight’s current frame of mind, it would be better to leave that one be rather than come up with some witty response. Instead, the blue unicorn sat down just inside Twilight’s wagon, closing the door behind her and taking off her hat. “Full disclosure,” Trixie said, “there’s about a hundred ponies outside who are very, very upset that their Eventime festival has been ruined. More will be showing up soon, too. So don’t try to run.”
“Ha!” Twilight exclaimed. “I just teleported an Ursa Minor miles without having line-of-sight to where I was sending it, and to somewhere I’ve only been once. You really think I’d run?”
Trixie sighed, waving a hoof. “Alright, fine. You can teleport. You can make the perfect getaway. At which point I write to Princess Luna about what you did and you become a hunted criminal.”
Twilight stared, and for a second Trixie was worried that she had made a mistake mentioning to the desperate pony that she could turn Twilight into Equestria’s Most Wanted. After several long moments of uncomfortable silence, however, the lavender unicorn hung her head in defeat. “I didn’t mean to,” Twilight stated, sounding exhausted, hurt, and in all other ways like a pony at the end of her rope. “I just…I figured that you must have unicorns coming up to you all the time, being the Element of Magic…so I had to impress you to make you teach me what you know. Either that or you were treating me the way you were because you were a fraud, in which case I’d show you what real magic was…”
Trixie blinked a few times, considering, before rubbing a hoof behind her head. “Option two, for the most part…” she said.
Twilight locked eyes on Trixie. Despite being the one to bring up the possibility, she seemed shocked. “But…but you’re the Element of Magic!” she exclaimed.
The blue unicorn spent a few moments to try and figure out the best way to go about this. “Twilight,” she said, “what do you think magic is?”
“This!” Twilight exclaimed, waving a hoof around her wagon. “Research! Documentation! Experimentation! Spells!”
“Never been much of a spellcaster,” Trixie admitted sheepishly. At Twilight’s uncomprehending look, Trixie pressed on. “During the fight with Corona a few months ago, she destroyed the stones that I thought were five of the Elements of Harmony. At that point, I was ready to just give up, to let Corona win. I’d given everything I had and it wasn’t even close to enough. But then Cheerilee – you haven’t met her, she’s the Element of Laughter – pointed out that Corona hadn’t destroyed the Elements. She’d destroyed a bunch of rocks. The spirits of the Elements of Harmony were right in front of her. And one by one, each of the five ponies that followed me into the Everfree Forest claimed their Element.
“But Corona…well, actually, me, but Corona agreed with me on this…said that it didn’t matter, because we still didn’t have the sixth Element. But the ponies claimed that they did, and it was me. They pointed out everything I’d done to help them during the lead-up to the Longest Night celebration, and during our time in the Everfree. They said I hadn’t let them down yet and they said they knew that I wasn’t going to let them down now. Because they were my friends, or wanted to be my friends, despite the fact that I hadn’t acted very nicely towards them. And I realized that I wanted them to be my friends, too. That I didn’t want to let them down.
“And that’s when I earned the Element of Magic. Not because I knew so many spells, not because I had some kind of deep reservoir of magic to draw on. But because I had a…a connection with those ponies. My friends.” She scuffed a hoof on the wooden floor of Twilight’s wagon in slight embarrassment. “That’s what magic is. It’s connections. Unicorn spell-casting is the most obvious kind of connection, when we take our inner power and cast it out to the world around us and shape it by making connections with whatever we touch. But magic is also how a pegasus has a connection to the air and the clouds and the seasons. Or how an earth pony has a connection to the land, to growing things.
“But it’s more than just that, too. It’s the connection between friends, or family, or lovers. It’s the connection a teacher has with her students. The connection a musician has with her instrument, or a weather pony with her job, a farmer and her business, a mother and her daughter. Or a magician with her audience. It doesn’t matter what the connection is. If it’s there, it’s a kind of magic.” Trixie looked to Twilight hopefully. “Is any of this making any sense?”
Twilight considered for a few moments. “Not really,” Twilight she decided after her ruminations, her voice deadpanned. “No.”
Trixie huffed, hopeful expression dropping to one of annoyance. “Well, too bad. I’m not explaining it again.”
“So what happens now?” Twilight asked. As she did, her muscles tensed slightly, her head drooping a little. Clearly, she was expecting a fight, and in all honesty Trixie’s first instinct was to give her one.
Instead, however, the blue unicorn sighed. “I don’t know. This whole situation is sort of my fault. I manipulated you into making yourself look like a tribalist, and should have treated you better.” She looked to Twilight. “But it’s also your fault, for bringing the Ursa Minor into town. I’m willing to take responsibility for my part. What about you?”
Twilight met Trixie’s gaze, and the silence between the two of them stretched on, and on. Trixie could see the gears turning in her head, her weighing the situation carefully, trying to find a way out of the situation. After a long moment, she looked away from Trixie, eyes closed, a look of defeat on her face. Trixie smiled at her apparent choice. “You’ve made the right – ” she began, when Twilight’s horn glowed. In a flash and a pop, the lavender unicorn disappeared from sight.
---
Dear Princess Luna,
As you are well aware, tonight was the Eventime festival in Ponyville. I put on another magic show, and once again I found I had a captivated audience. You were absolutely right about my desire for attention and how showmareship would be an excellent outlet. The Great and Powerful Trixie could be a regular part of Ponyville’s festivals for years to come!
Unfortunately, I had more than just my adoring fans of Ponyville watching me. A unicorn named Twilight Sparkle had journeyed to Ponyville on hearing that I was the Element of Magic. She thought that because I was the Element of Magic, I must have been a superb spellcaster, and was distraught when she learned that wasn’t the case, enough to cause a minor interruption to my show. Unfortunately, I was not as sympathetic to her as I should have been, especially after she came backstage accusing me of being a fraud and wasting your teachings. I tried to leave the situation peaceably, but when she pursued me into the festival, old Canterlot habits came back to me, and I managed to make her seem like a tribalist to the ponies of Ponyville.
I have included a more formal testimony of her response in my regular report to you. Here, I just wanted to make clear that Twilight Sparkle is not entirely responsible for what happened in Ponyville tonight, that I bear a large responsibility for goading and dismissing Twilight. I don’t think she’s a bad pony, she simply made a few bad decisions – because of me. I ask that you consider that when deciding how to deal with her when the law enforcers of Equestria catch up with her.
Your faithful student & servant,
– Trixie
Trixie considered her letter for a moment, illuminated by the dawn’s light that was coming in through her home’s window. She hated having to send letters like this, ones where she was forced to admit to Luna that despite everything she was learning about not acting like a complete and total jerk to others, about the ‘magic of friendship,’ she still had a long way to go in that regard. A large part of her wanted to just crumple up the letter and toss it into the fireplace, but she knew that wouldn’t solve anything – Luna would find out sooner or later anyway, and putting off telling her teacher would only make her that much angrier when she did find out.
With a sigh, Trixie took off her magician’s hat, chanted a few magic words over it, and tossed the parchment she had written her letter on into it. There was a flash as the letter disappeared from her hat, the enchantment inside of it seizing it and transporting it to Luna’s private study, where the Princess would read it in a few hours after she rose from her sleep – though she held dominion over both sun and moon, Luna still considered herself primarily a creature of the night, and so typically slept from dawn until about noon, or later if she could help it.
Having fulfilled her duties, Trixie slipped her hat back on her head, and went back out into Ponyville. The mess that the Ursa made of the town’s center had been largely cleaned up, or at least turned from a chaotic, widespread collection of debris into a single large pile that would be dealt with later, after everyone had slept the day away as well – ponies were not themselves nocturnal, like Luna, but even without the Ursa, the Eventime festival would have itself been enough to prompt most ponies to decide to sleep in.
Some industrious pony had, from the looks of things, dragged Twilight Sparkle’s wagon into that pile. Trixie could definitely understand the sentiment. Despite being perfectly functional, it belonged to a pony who had ruined what was supposed to be a time of celebration, and so as far as the Ponyvillians were concerned the wagon and everything in it was just so much trash.
Still…there was a tremendous amount of knowledge in that wagon. Trixie recalled that Twilight Sparkle had been expecting her to be some mighty archmage, a sorceress supreme with magical power second only to the Princess herself. Despite her special talent being magic, however, Trixie had never really been much of a spellcaster.
But there was no reason that couldn’t change. Twilight Sparkle might not be the last unicorn who came to her looking to learn something. Maybe next time, she could actually have something worthwhile to teach.
Plus, Trixie supposed as she opened the door to Twilight’s wagon, there might be something I could use in one of my shows. Teleporting would be a neat trick…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes
Thank-you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this. Also, I would like to take the time to thank Cerulean Starlight for taking it upon himself to serve as an editor for this story! Thanks again, CS, for the effort!
Still have a horrible plan for this universe, but I'm going to wait for CS' final edit PM first.
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Very nice. I love that in alternate universe Twilight without help of her friends remained the same closed and uncaring unicorn and Trixie learned that she's much more than lone wolf. Thanks for writing that, complex Trixie story is hard to find, expecially where she's not a villain or cliched two-dimensional character.
I love this story. The characterizations are great, and the only flaw I can see is that it somehow got marked as "complete". Clearly that's a mistake that needs to be corrected.
excellent, now I wonder what happens to twilight? will she flee to corona?
oh... complete... really?
Wait, Derpy isn't Laughter?
281428
No, Ditzy's Kindness.
281339
This story is finished, yes, but I'm not done with this universe as a whole.
281432
If I were doing this, I'd probably go for the obvious next step.... in which Trixie botches the teleportation spell, is dropped into Celestia's world, and then everypony wants to help cure her "delusions". On the other hoof, it would be a shame to leave behind the rest of the setting and characters you've created, as there are certainly plenty of other interesting things that can be done with them.
281432 continuing to track, when you come up with the sequel, post a blog entry related to the story. I want to hear more from these alternates.
281489
The next story in this setting will be the "Friendship is Magic" retelling, with the intent of greater world-building as to the society of the ponies in a world were Celestia went evil. I also have vague conceptions for an alternate version of "The Ticket Master," "Over a Barrel," and "The Return of Harmony" (though that last is VERY vague), as well as a few unique story ideas, mostly image stories meant to focus on and develop the characters of the new Elements of Harmony.
Interestingly enough, I had actually considered doing a write-up that was the *reverse* of what you suggested - Normal!Twilight getting stuck in Luna's world. Mostly because Trixie seems like the kind who would dive head-first into Evil Alternate Universe snarky comments.
Disliking this for following to close to the show for the over all plot and for having Twilight be a bad pony* while Trixie had merely been not nice to deal with.
* There is no argueing against this. She breaks the law and puts others in danger.
281538
Unfortunate, but okay. It's your choice. Following the episode closely was my goal, but I can understand if some people would have preferred something different.
Twilight absolutely did put her own gratification first and other ponies' property and lives second, so I'm not going to argue that. It is however, I hope you will admit, perfectly in character for her, as "Lesson Zero" should indicate; and especially in-character for a Twilight that has never had Princess Celestia to guide her.
(N.B.: Trixie says that she doesn't think Twilight is a bad pony, but Trixie's opinions are not my own, and are born from her own personal involvement in what went down)
281552
Twilight choosing to do that would work better if there was more build up before she hits the breaking point. Not as much as Lesson Zero, but more than is present.
So Alt-Twilight is on the run, doesn't get what makes Alt-Trixie the bearer of Magic and left behind all of her books because she didn't want to face Luna. Ah, well. Given how messed up she is, she might just end up in Celestia's world and create mischief for the Mane Six.
281552
I really enjoyed this story, alternate pony universe's are fun to write.
I look forward to seeing what you can do with this setting. Why Celestia/Corona Blaze went mad will be interesting to see. Especially as you explained that Ponies aren't nocturnal/primarily nocturnal creatures. I do hope for a Twilight redemption story, though I wonder what your universe's Flim Flam brothers are like, I imagine they're much fairer, honest business ponies.
281582
Not necessarily all of them. She had saddlebags on, so she may have a few on her.
281656
But still, though....if she'd had a Raindrops around to keep her honest, she wouldn't be in this mess.
281552
Expanding on earlier comments, altering characters is not as easy to swallow as events. And mirroring things too closely makes the differences more irritating. More so for well developed characters like Twilight. The story would have worked better if the reason for Twilight being this way was developed more.
For instance, she does not have a strong sense of morality at all. While the show's Twilight does do bad things (Lesson Zero), for it to be this different would mean without Celestia she did not have anypony to teach her about being good. Yet it seems she had loving parents, who should have done so.
While she would not have been encouraged by Celestia to make friends, it can be argued that if she ever tried she would have an easier time when she was young at making friends. This is because being the protege of the princess could have very well lead to others being envious of her when she was younger*, and in this world she would not have that.
* Given her reaction to the thought of being sent to magic kendergarden in Lesson Zero it would seem she had some very bad experiences when she was young that could have greatly increased her reclusiveness.
Finally, more is needed to wrap this up than for Boast Busters. What with Twilight having actions to answer for on top of the issues Trixie had.
281489 i hope someone make that story XD i sooo! wanna see this Trixie in the "Normal" Equestria.
A little upset we didn't get a glimpse of Cheerilee, but eh, if you say there will be more, patience is a virtue...
281746
Twilight in this fic is an incidental antagonist, as Normal!Trixie was in "Boast Busters." While the reasons for why she is the way she is would be fascinating to look into in and of themselves - as the many Trixie-backstory-fics out there should prove - it's beyond the scope of this little fic, which was really intended as proof-of-concept more than anything, as well as being structured like an episode itself (hence why I included the opening theme after the initial teaser scene), with each chapter end being, essentially, a commercial break.
I think that delving too deeply into the background of this Twilight would only get in the way of this fic, especially seeing as she's a secondary character in this universe. *Why* she acts the way she does doesn't matter, much as the reasons behind Normal!Trixie's bombastic attitude don't matter within the context of "Boast Busters." At a guess, though, I'd say that Twilight's pressure to please Celestia in the normal universe, has instead been replaced by a pressure to be perfect. She's mentioned as the only unicorn in history to leave Luna's school with a perfect grade point average, and a year early besides. Then there's her monotone delivery of the line "I am the best."
Also, don't forget that she didn't flip out for no reason, nor as suddenly as you seem to think. Trixie's magic show is mentioned as being two hours long, and Twilight, who had travelled all the way from Manehattan to see it (with expectations of what Trixie would be like building up for the entire journey), would have certainly been sitting there the whole time, resentment towards this charalatan blue unicorn being nothing like what she expected building. Following this, Twilight goes backstage to try and figure out what the Hell is going on and basically gets confirmation that Trixie isn't the Archmage Supreme that she's supposed to be, is insulted by Trixie, and then is manipulated by Trixie into looking like an absolute fool in front of Ponyville.
On a related note, I think history should prove well enough that a person can have kind and loving parents, yet still turn into a bad person. If I might quote a both a favorite movie and a favorite actor of mine, "we are all animals."
I'm uneager to change the ending, as well. Twilight *not* getting her cummupance leaves her more open to appear in later stories I might write. Twilight may have more actions to answer for than Normal!Trixie did, but there's a fairly simple counterpoint to that - how does that have anything to do with whether or not she *does* answer for what she's done? People get away with crimes all the time, and I don't see why ponies would be any different.
Here's what would have happened, given the extreme measures your Twilight is willing to take:
Trixie sighed, waving a hoof. “Alright, fine. You can teleport. You can make the perfect getaway. At which point I write to Princess Luna about what you did and you become a hunted criminal.”
Twilight stared, for just a moment, before casting a spell that severed Trixie's head at the neck.
"They'll never find the body," Twilight Sparkle said, laughing maniacally.
And they never did.
281973
It is a choice to explore why or not, but not doing so removes half the interesting stuff from having an alternate universe. And the part that is left is the one that people are more likely to find disagreeable.
The point about build up is I did not get the sense that she was losing it like in Lesson Zero, so comparing her action here to that does not really work in my mind. Hence making it more clear to readers that is the direction she is going would be good, so that your reasoning is more apperent.
Leaving the status of Twilight as possibly a wanted criminal would make her worse than any of the minor antagonists from the show. This come off as a bad place to leave things, particularly when the ponies that did basically the same thing in the show get off with community service and a temporary
. As I said, the more that is left the same the harder the difference are to accept.
Aww, it's over? A shame, there. Twilight right now... good lord. She's in some trouble, that's for sure. I hope to see more from you in this little alt verse, as you said.
I'm a huge Trixie fan, as you can tell by my avatar. ;) I think I'll click on 'watch'.
282065
Twilight isn't willing to go so far as actively hurt ponies; I'd think her reaction to seeing her mind-control spell fail and immediately helping Trixie stop the Ursa, with no questions asked, would be proof enough of that. She's not evil, just arrogant. She honestly thought she had the Ursa under control and that the risk to the ponies was limited to making sure she didn't make it accidentally step on any, and at no point in the story was it implied that she wanted to harm anypony, even Trixie. I even included a token line about how she'd never use her Imperious curse ripoff on a pony.
Also, that doesn't deal with the 100 (and more) ponies outside of Twilight's wagon.
282137
Snips and Snails are also school-age colts. Can't forget that minor fact. They also didn't run away from taking responsibility (at least not once confronted about their actions). Had Twilight remained behind, she may have gotten the same deal; or not, we don't know. She can just teleport away from her problems, though.
However, if it bothers you that much that there doesn't seem to be enough build-up (how much is "enough?"), then I'll go in and insert in a few lines here and there throughout the story to suggest Twilight being at her wit's end. The thing is, though, that I wanted this story to focus on *Trixie*, not Twilight. The more we see of Twilight, the more this story becomes "Look at Evil Alternate Twilight," which is emphatically the wrong direction to go. This isn't Twilight's universe where she gets to be the main character by default. She's supposed to be a side-act, nothing more. I am not going to add entire new sections, only expand existing ones, and in as limited a way as possible at that. Twilight in this universe has gotten about as much "screen time" as Trixie in the other one; has a character as developed as Normal!Trixie. In fact we actually know more about this Twilight than Normal!Trixie, by dint of her actually explaining her background.
282178
It is just my view, though I suppose it might be because I have more emotional investment in Twilight than Trixie. In which case the issue is choosing to start off with a scenario that pits the character you want to tell about against a major character from the show to start off with rather than starting with something else.
Not much that can be done about that, except have stories to build your characters before doing more pieces that do the same.
EDIT: PS
Story has been added to some of the appropriate groups.
Kind of disappointed in Twilight here. I thought she'd be more responsible for her actions and accept her punishment. Aw well, an open ended story leaves things for you to expand upon if you ever mean to continue this.
I actually liked how you explained how the elements can choose ponies that are right for them. It doesn't necessarily mean who has the most power or the most laughter, generosity, etc., but as long as a pony has the potential for that element, then they can become a bearer. Trixie may not be the "best" choice, but she still has the qualities that could make her element work.
A wonderful look in how things could be different for our little ponies. Plenty of food for thought and all that jazz. As always, I look forward to more of your works in the future.
I think what people aren't realizing is that when Twilight's in extreme situations (at least, what she thinks is extreme), she can turn into a bit of a nut.
Personally, I think the characterizations were spot on given the context of the story. I'm looking forward to seeing the other Alt Elements, and subtle hints at how the rest of the Mane 6 interact within this universe. I can't really see Alt-Pinkie changing all that much, maybe assuming a secondary role (like normal Cheerilee).
Anyway, keep up the good work!
Good ending! I really do feel sorry for Twilight here (just as I feel sorry for Trixie in canon), because for all her knowledge of spellcasting, she doesn't understand the fundamental nature of Harmony that makes Equestria work. Also, full marks for stating that Trixie really isn't all that amazing at magic - she's the Element of Magic because she understands friendship and, as she said, the connections between ponies. The relationship between performer and audience is an interesting one, the way you've explained it.
I'm very keen to see what else you do with this set of protagonists! Somepony with video editing skills should recut the opening credits to put these characters into it. Very impressed here!
283809
I'd love to see that, but sadly some of them - Raindrops in particular - just don't have enough scenes focusing on them.
Well, it's a shame Twilight didn't really learn from her actions (or, at least, didn't learn enough quickly enough), but I did like Trixie's explanation of the elements! It really shows you put thought into this beyond "celestia evil, luna good, Trixie replaces Twilight". I certainly would love you to do more alternate episodes - especially with alternate titles - so we can see some of the other characters in the spotlight.
However, to disagree with one of your decisions which you mentioned, I think you might want to postpone "Friendship is Magic". I'd worry that, in building the world too heavily in the first episode, you'd just end up limiting your options in later works. Kind of a Schrodinger's story - nothing is fixed until you describe it. So, if you want to explore the alternate world and characters (especially our new Mane 6 and the alternate versions of the old Mane 6), I'd actually suggest you tell the stories first, and make the world second.
Of course, you're the author, write what you want. Your version of Trixie is excellent and fun to read, and I really enjoyed this chapter! I look forward to your further works in this setting.
281489
Maybe one or both of you with the author's permission could make a side story based on those ideas of either Twilight or Trixie crossing over to the others universe or even having Normal Trixie meeting Alt Trixie (same with Twilight) with the one with more friendship experience teaching other one about it.
301253
Hold that thought.
301326
Well if you wanted to do it you should've said something lol. I enjoy Universe A meets Universe B (got two stallion Mane 6 meet mare Mane 6 on my track list) so I figured if somebody wanted to pick up the gauntlet...
281524 Glad to hear there'll be more stories. This was pretty soundly awesome. It's a bit sad, of course, since Twilight is now a wanted fugitive.
Not likely what you were going with, but until proven otherwise, this is my headcanon.
"To my most beloved student,
Twilight Sparkle, is that her name? Funny you should bring this up, because a rather unusual situation has risen in the Canterlot castle dungeon. A unicorn matching your description has mysteriously apeared in one of the high security cells, one of the ones you helped come up with that one can enter with the aid of magic, but not leave with it. She refuses to talk with anyone, save when I personally visited her, and even then all she said was, "I'm taking responsability for my half. I'm not leaving until I'm forgiven." She was crying when she said it. Trixie... I do not think I will be sending enforcers of any kind after her. She is punishing herself well beyond what the courts would do.
Your faithful mentor,
Princess Luna Equestris Faust"
Yes she's Alicorn Lauren's daughter, so sue me.
Great alternate universe even though I didn't really get the story XD
I'm shocked you actually got on EQD much less got a posting to itself, but i guess having a good trixie story and giving to the guy who claims her as his waifu don't hurt huh?
Good work though, happy to see you get the notice that EQD does bring.
302333
Well, I see the line "good Trixie story" in there, so I guess you're not *really* shocked about me getting on EqD. Personally I choose to believe that Sethisto doesn't give special treatment to Trixie stories, though. Especially seeing as there's a bevvy of prereaders.
(For the record, I am shocked I got on EqD, but I ain't complaining)
302365
I don't even go to EQD besides to troll i hate the place.And yes i think this being a trixie story helped quite allot for it going up there :3
Very interesting read; Good Work. Though I do have two question.
Where did you put Spike in this world? Locked in his egg in Canterlot, Free with the other dragons in Equestria, with alt.Twilight, or someplace that you alone know of? Also, is Discord in your world an Agent of Chaos or Order?
302487
Discord is still Discord, and was still defeated by a tag-team of Luna, Celestia, and the Elements of Harmony way back in the day, whenever that was. He's currently encased in a statue. Whether he's on display in the royal garden or burried deep in a vault somewhere, I haven't shown. Personally, if I were the immortal alicorn god of Equestria, I'd seal Discord up in a solid block of concrete, then encase that concrete in solid steel, then place that steel box deep under Canterlot. But that's me.
As for Spike, he's...around. Heh. Heheheh. HehehehehehahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
He's not in Canterlot, not with Twilight, not with other dragons, but as of the timeframe of this story, he's not in his egg.
There we go. That should be enough of a mystery to get everyone's interests piqued with the prequel.
I liked it, but I had only one problem.
Why this was Trixite fault?.
The only thing she did that could be seen as anthagonizing Twilight was rebuking her claims of false magic (after she crashed a foals shows, might add). In fact, apparently what you state was trixie's fault for the entire fiasco was this:
I had help, with Pegasus Magic, Earth pony magic..." trixie
"Pegasus and Earth ponies don't have magic " Interrupted. Twilight Sparkle.
She didn't goad her to said this, she wasn't even all that rude with Sparkle in the first place (and she was as shocked as the rest when Twilight said this), she was simply explaining what happened against Corona and the situation with the Elements of Harmony, so why did she blame herself and got sucked punched by Raindrop? Because she said "Element of jealousy"? , a normal quip, hell, a harmless one even by the canon standards, after she was stalked by Twilight after the show and accused of her ability? An action that a normal pony would find annoying and worth of snark?
It just doesn't make sense and that is my only problem with the fic. For me, it would better if you couldeither change Trixite fault or make her look like she was actually goading and manipulating Twiligt to act as a tribalist. Otherwise, it sounds very mean spirited to Trixie's character and more like a case of unintentional drama.
Have a nice day.
302744
Will do. At some point. Working on Episode I.
302752 Just out of curiosity, the headcanon I posted earlier, is it in any way correct?
303310
Sadly, no. I do like it, but no, it's not.
303897 Aww, not even Luna's name?
I liked this story a lot. The initial concept makes for an interesting AU that holds some (for me) new ideas. But an idea alone isn't enough, you also have the writing skills to tell the tale, which in my opinion is the most important part. I like your style, it's descriptive, visual und quick to read. The dialogue was also nice. I had to snicker at Lyras transformed hooves
Too bad AU!Twilight didn't learn her lesson at the end. I felt more sorry for her than for Trixie on the actual show and really wanted her come around. But as you said, this story is supposed to mirror "Boast Busters", so I don't mind the ending, since I think you achieved your goal with it.
I'm also glad to see you're writing another story set in this universe, I'm going to read that, too, as soon as possible. I want to know more about "your" Trixie.
Keep up the good work! :)
NTL
I have an idea for a fanfic concept. I'm not able to do it justice myself, so I thought I'd see if DoubleDash was interested, and if not, if anyone else was.
The princesses get a letter that has them both in a panic as they give orders to prepare for a VIP guest.
"Dear My Little Princesses,
Goodness, has it been 5000 years already? How time does fly. I thought I'd stop by for the day and take a look at the solar system you two renovated, and see what you've done with the place. And to catch up with my two favorite alicorns of course. I'll be there soon.
Love and kisses,
Your Mother,
Lauren Faust."
With red mane, white coat, smooth wings, and pearl horn, the mother of the goddesses is visiting!
I like this story, and I would love to see more stories in this alt universe.
It is a pity. She's a brilliant mind capable of anything yet she cannot grasp the magic of freindship. Shunning the true magic that all others (except the alt mane six) can understand instinctivly. I feel turuely sorry for her.
That was great. This would be an awesome universe for crossovers in addition to it being really interesting alternity in and of it's self.
I'd love to see this world used as one of The Sweetie Chronicles chapters for instance.