The Conversion Bureau : Still Human

by Shader

Introduction

Conversion.

One of the most controversial words to date.

Oh, I know. Rainbows and sunshine, happy ponies helping unhappy humans better themselves. Save humanity from itself by improving them. Pats on the back, as they cheer on each new convert. I've heard it all.

But have you?

So many exaggerated stories and articles .

All those faked statistics and graphs .

They don't tell the real story.

Of course, a few people were happy to go through with it. People that wanted to leave and start again. But they were a minority. A vast minority.

I was just a minor politician from good old Australia. Mid North Coast. No point mentioning which area, place wouldn't even exist anymore. Ever since the Purification, it's probably been reduced to nothing more than soil and grass.

Now? I'm a pegasus, shipped off to Equestria like every other poor sap. The big cleansing would have killed any intelligent life form, supposedly.

I'm writing this book to record some of the truths that have been... glossed over. Something to oppose all the propaganda coming from Celestia's government. Never been much of a writer before though, so don't expect miracles of prose.

However, this is important for me. For many of us. So please, bare with me.

My name is Matthew Roberts, and I'm the Mayor of New Hope.

While my body maybe that of a pony's, I am still human.

PAGE 1

Sighing, I dropped my pen to the table. My jaw ached something fierce, and the writing was damn near illegible. How ponies did this for hours on end, I'll never know. Not to mention my first real respite since the whole shitstorm began, and I spent it damaging my teeth on a steel pen.

The sound of approaching hooves on wooden floorboards drew my attention from the mess I'd written to the door, a flimsy thing banged together from two sheets of plywood. I knew who it would be. The bastard would be barging in right about...

"We need more housing", a voice bellowed as an orange hoof nearly put itself through the door trying to open it.

The bane of my existence, John Hemmings. An orange earth pony who used to be who-knows-what, probably some form of rodent. Kind of a self proclaimed assistant and helper, but didn't do much helping. Or assisting. Usually just brought bad news.

"How much?" I sighed once again, asking the same question I'd asked innumerable times before.

"Couple hundred at least."

"Do we have enough tents?" Another question I'd asked too many times.

"Nope. All being used." And an answer I'd received far too often. I didn't know why I even bothered getting my hopes up.

"Alright, alright. Get out the maps and come with me."

As he trotted over to fumble with the desk drawers, I moved over to the window of my office. Well, calling it an office was rather generous. It was more like four poorly sandpapered walls surrounding an ungodly mass of paper, maps and other miscellaneous junk I'd yet to throw out. There was a table though... somewhere.

Peering out through the glass, I spared a glance at the world outside. Building after building after building. Hundreds of thousands of 'New Foals', or what ever they were calling us now, lived here. All built up around this very house.

I'd been unable to live with them. The ponies that is. Something about them just rubbed me the wrong way. Never did find out exactly what. All I knew is I needed to get away from them and their naivety, their childishness. After a rather public yelling match with the mayor of the place, PonyTown or something, I left. Grabbed my things and walked off. Found this rather nice area to setup a home, and built a rather shabby shelter.

Nothing like the massive complexes the ponies had build around Equestria to house New Foals, usually called New Foal Centers. It was rickety, swaying in the wind, and had a rather leaky roof. Thankfully I'd chosen to be a pegasus, and managed to keep most of the weather off my new place.

The trouble I'd hoped to avoid started soon after. People noticed the shouting match. I can't recall exactly what it was about, some disagreement about Celestia's handling of humanity probably. Doesn't really matter. People noticed.

And it seemed many agreed with me.

Within a few days I had the first of many arrivals, about 20 people. Talking to them, they mentioned something about a feeling of wrongness about living amongst ponies, sounding eerily similar to myself. So I pointed them over to an area, and told them to knock themselves out. It's a free country. Probably. Never did get very far into looking at the various land laws.

Luckily for me, most of them were Earth Ponies. Strong as all get out, and had a green thumb a mile wide. They started up a small farm, mostly vegetables. After a few days I was already getting sick of grass, so was a nice change of pace.

That farm ended up being the first of dozens. Nearly every day, more and more travelers would come from the nearby New Foal Center. Either mentioning their distaste for the ponies, distaste for the laws, or distaste of Celestia. Brought their skills and trade, more workers for farms and other industries. Became quite a self sufficient little place. The name of New Hope began circling around, cliche as it was, and eventually it became official. About as official as a illegitimate half shanty town could get, anyway.

It was when this spontaneous community reached around five hundred that the trickle of New Foals became stronger. And from different directions. Seems word had spread about the whole shebang of humans living with humans under a human leadership. Leadership that had apparently become me. New people always got directed to me, and I'd point them in the right directions, so de-facto leader I became.

Five hundred people. One thousand people. Three thousand. Fifteen thousand. One hundred thousand. Two hundred thousand. More.

Thankfully, food production was never a problem. Being near half the size of a human, we ate less, and Earth Ponies grow crops at a ridiculously fast rate. Plus we didn't eat meat, so food was cheap and plentiful. Smaller size also meant smaller dwellings, so space wasn't too much of an issue. That and most of the pegasi ended up making cloud homes.

Policing, medical, and other city services had to be setup, and I'd ended up with many sleepless nights sorting though it all. Luckily, the whole 'Cutie Mark' thing tended to make it simpler. Place people with a 'Special Talent' for organization or leadership in charge, and let them sort through the mess.

Never thought a tattoo on someone's arse could be useful, but I guess you learn something new every day.

Over the months, it just kept getting larger. Farm land grew in one direction, housing grew in the other. Even now it was still growing. Been hearing rumors of other places starting up too, a mass exodus from the New Foal Centers setup around Equestria.

A yelp and a thump brought me from my memories, and I turned to find Hemming lying on the floor, nose first with the map between his jaws.

"Next time, you can get your own damn map", he groaned at me, a quick glare leveled in my direction. I wasn't going to ask, but I hazard a guess that he'd messed up some leg work. Not exactly an uncommon sight around here. Quickly helping him back to his feet, I made for the entrance.

"Come on, we've got work to do", I called back over my shoulder, silently wondering how I was going to screw up this time.

City planning had never been my forte.

Comments

[Da Bunnana King]

I heard Australia.

[Ferdiad]

You are magnificent.

[Red Bomber]

Okay, what about other places on "former Earth" there should be plenty of land over here.

[Shameless Autism]

2197705

The big cleansing would have killed any intelligent life form

[KvAT]

502304
'Straya!

[Mrex23]

This one is actually quite decent