A Friendly Lunch
A bright purple glow enveloped the thin strip of cyan cloth as it levitated up from the pillow. A multi-colored tassel fluttered behind the cloth as it dutifully slid into place between the pages of the book. Rainbow Dash giggled slightly as the book was shut and floated over to its appropriate spot on the shelf. “I don’t know if I will ever get over seeing that bookmark, Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said as her tiny bit of laughter dissipated.
After she ensured that the book was snugly in its rightful place Twilight released her magical grip from the object. She turned to face Rainbow Dash, “What exactly is so silly about my bookmark?” She asked sternly. No particular hint of amusement was to be found on her visage.
“Oh it just looks a teeny, tiny bit familiar.” Rainbow Dash answered with the barest hint of a sarcastic bite as she maneuvered her front hooves close together, as if squeezing something small, for emphasis. As she lowered her hooves she could make out the beginnings of a smirk on her friend’s face.
“Well, I would hope so.” Twilight said. “I’ll have you know I spent more than a few bits to get that little thing made. I really wanted something special to mark our place when we read together. I can’t think of a better way show how much our time together means than a cute little custom book mark.” Twilight continued as notes of endearment crept into her speech. The smirk on her lips grew to a full grin as she waited for a response.
Rainbow Dash did an admirable job at holding back her laughter at the bookish unicorn’s idea of ‘special.’ “Well, Twi, I can certainly think of more than a few ways to show you how special you are.” With no lack of energy, the pegasus leaned into Twilight’s body. Rainbow Dash slid her head slowly over towards Twilight and carefully nuzzled her neck.
A slight blush breaks out across the unicorn’s cheeks. “Rainbow,” Twilight squeaked as the pegasus nibbled behind her ear, “Cut that out alrea-” She tried to say before she burst out laughing.
“Oh yeah, you are so ticklish right there aren’t you.” Rainbow Dash said playfully, her voice slightly muffled with her muzzle pressed right behind the laughing unicorn’s ear. Rainbow Dash continued her tickling assault until Twilight finally rolled over onto her back, in an attempt to steal the vulnerable spot from her friend’s attack. Rainbow was quick to let the ear slip from her grasp as Twilight had fallen right into her trap. In her fit of laughter the unicorn had given Rainbow Dash full access to her most vulnerable weak point. Two cyan hooves pounced on the lavender tummy with expert precision, a tactic honed through hours of practice, and with just their front tips squirmed across the exposed area with a touch that Twilight could nearly mistake for a feather.
“Ahh, you tricked me.” Twilight managed to spurt out between rigorous fits of laughter. The tickle assault seemed to last an eternity to the unicorn. Finally the cyan hooves ceased their attack and retreated to the neutral zone of the bed. Her respite finally earned, Twilight rolled over and sat back up to face her grinning attacker. “I swear you can be so evil sometimes Rainbow Dash.” She said with a slightly exasperated tone, her lungs obviously still recovering from the minutes of non-stop laughter.
Rainbow Dash leaned her head forward a bit, “Oh you know you love it,” she reached a hoof over to poke Twilight in the chest, “Nopony makes a mare happier than Rainbow Dash.” A confident look washes over Rainbow’s face as Twilight starts to giggle.
Twilight finally managed to regain a straight face “Well, be that as it may, it is getting pretty late.”
Looking to the window Rainbow Dash could clearly see the moon had begun it slow journey across the starry sky. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s already so late.” The cyan pegasus remarked, a hint of disappointment tucked away in her tone. “I guess I should get going if I want to get enough sleep for tomorrow.”
“I thought you were going to stay over here tonight.” Twilight quickly replied. Rainbow Dash visibly perked up at the presented notion, “You always stay over the night before our group lunch.”
A bit of embarrassment slipped through Rainbow Dash’s mind, “Oh was that tomorrow?” she asked shyly.
Rainbow Dash was terrible at hiding her surprise Twilight thought before responding, “We’ve been doing this for months now on the same day every week, Rainbow. How do you manage to forget that half the time?” There was a twinge of disappointment in her voice.
Crossing her forelegs in front of herself, “Hey you know I’m not that great with remembering routines.” Rainbow Dash argued.
“You seem to show up here every day after work just fine.” Twilight responded dryly. A bit of irritation showed on Rainbow Dash’s face as Twilight began her verbal list, “You also do not seem to have any trouble remembering your flight routines,” She continued, with extra emphasis on that word, “Nor do you forget to preen your wings every day,” She briefly switched to a sultry tone, “And might I add just how cute you are when you do that.” Rainbow’s wings flared out as the sultry voice took root only to swiftly droop down once the rant continued. Moments turned into minutes as Twilight listed off one thing after another to disprove her friend’s statement. After what seemed like an eternity to Rainbow Dash, Twilight finally finished her speech and took a nice deep breath. The cool relief of silence wafted through Rainbow’s ears for naught but a moment when a sudden knocking on the bedroom door interrupted the event.
“Hey, Twilight, Rainbow, if you two are done reading you should come get some dinner. I made you some grilled tulip and daisy sandwiches with a chrysanthemum and tomato soup.” Spike said cheerfully through the closed door. “If you wait too long it will all get cold and I am not warming it up for you this time.” He added with a bit of a huffy tone before his footsteps could be heard descending the stairs.
The two ponies looked at each other for a few silent moments before they simultaneously exclaimed, “Well I guess we can finish this later.” Another brief pause preceded their laughter at the unlikely coincidence. The two wasted no more time as they headed down stairs towards the kitchen.
As the decidedly hungry pair arrived at the table where Spike had prepared their meal the delicious scents of the little dragon’s labors overcame their senses to evoke a typical pavlovian response. “This looks incredible, Spike,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, “Where did you learn to make such awesome food?” she asked as she tried not to drool.
A smug look overtakes the young dragon, “Oh, I’ve just been training with the most amazing chef in Equestria.”
“Is that why you’ve been spending a bit longer on your official visits to Canterlot recently?” Twilight asked, intrigued that her assistant would go to such lengths just to learn how to cook better.
“What? No way, that’s only because Princess Luna has been asking me more questions than usual.” Spike responded, shocked that Twilight could so grossly misinterpret what he said. “Rarity has been teaching me some of her recipes.” He stated, as though it was obvious from the start.
A surprised look comes over Rainbow Dash and Twilight’s faces. “Oh wow, I never took Rarity for a chef,” Rainbow Dash said, “Cooking is always so messy I thought she just ate at restaurants all the time.” Rainbow could not help but imagine Rarity fussing about in a kitchen making a mess everywhere. A giggle managed to escape her lips.
“Rainbow, not everypony makes as big a mess as Pinkie Pie when cooking.” Twilight stated matter-of-factly. “I’ll have you know unicorns can make cooking a very neat and tidy process.”
“Yeah, it also helps if you got a pair of these bad boys.” Spike chimed in as he held up his hands and wiggled his claws a bit.
“Oh, well yeah I guess that makes sense.” Rainbow Dash said with disappointment knowing that she would likely never catch Rarity in a kitchen fiasco unless Sweetie Bell was involved. Her thoughts paused as she pondered that last point. Suddenly she wasn’t quite as disappointed anymore. She would have to remember that idea the next time she was out pulling pranks with Pinkie Pie.
The time for chatter had ended as Twilight magically enveloped the two sandwiches and lifted them to her and Rainbow Dash’s mouths respectively. “Gee, Twilight, you really know how to pamper a pony.” Rainbow Dash said as she took a rather large bite of floating sandwich.
With naught but a smile, Twilight ate her own food, though in a comparatively more refined fashion than either of her two dining companions. Spike was far too busy shoveling a bowl full of gems into his mouth to make further conversation and Rainbow Dash was eating like she was in a contest. And so the three friends ate in silence of word.
“So, Twilight, did you get that bed fixed yet?” Rainbow Dash inquired.
“You broke it yesterday when you crashed through the window, remember.” Twilight replied dryly, as she turned to look at the shattered mess of splinters and sheets in the corner of her bedroom. “So no, I haven’t fixed it yet.” If Rainbow Dash’s self-control had been any less amazingly, awesome she likely would have been shouting in excitement. After all, it wasn’t like she meant to crash through Twilight’s bedroom window. Also, she had totally not aimed right for Twilight’s guest bed in hopes of breaking it so she could sleep in Twilight’s bed when she slept over for the night. Rainbow Dash had especially not done this on purpose the day before her friends’ weekly lunch when Rainbow always slept over at Twilight’s place. Nope, she would never do that on purpose. Admittedly, it was a pretty lucky aim on her part, not that she had been aiming. Twilight sighed, “I guess we will have to share my bed Rainbow. I’m sorry if it’s a bit small.”
“Oh woe is me, being forced to share such a tiny bed with a gorgeous unicorn.” Rainbow Dash cried in an attempted tone of regret as she quickly tried to force her face into a look of disappointment. It didn’t work. Rainbow Dash flung her fore leg over her face trying to mimic Rarity when she was being dramatic. “How will we possibly be comfortable so close together.” she continued.
Twilight stared at Rainbow Dash for a few moments as she attempted to process the sheer amount of failed Rarity-esque drama going on in front of her. “Rainbow, are you trying to make this awkward?” she asked bluntly.
As she had already grown tired of her own poor attempts, Rainbow Dash let her hoof down and looked Twilight right in her big, magical, violet eyes. “Twi, do you think that, maybe, we could try…” Rainbow Dash trailed off, unsure if she wanted to finish her request. Rainbow Dash may be self-centered at times, but she was not about to push her friend into an uncomfortable situation.
“I’d rather we didn’t.” Twilight replied, sounding somewhat unsure of her decision. “You did say you wanted to get enough sleep for tomorrow, right.” She added, in a swift attempt to justify her choice.
“Yeah I did say that.” Rainbow Dash responded, both visibly and acoustically deflating. “You know, just forget I said anything.”
“Come on Rainbow, you have all day off tomorrow. I’m sure we can work something out then.” Twilight teased, attempting to cheer up the glum pegasus.
“You always say that and the best that happens is me getting a wing massage.” Rainbow Dash responded dejectedly.
“That’s right, and you never give me a massage, so I don’t see how that works out fair.” Twilight responded in a huff. The unhappy unicorn trotted over and slipped into her bed, making sure to hog all the covers to leave no doubt where the pegasus would be sleeping tonight.
Rainbow Dash was in complete shock. She was the most superultraextremeawesomazing pegasus in Ponyville, no, in all of Equestria. How could she have possibly said something so dumb? “Fine, the floor is warmer than your chilly flank anyway.” Rainbow snapped, not helping her case in the slightest.
“Well then have a good night.” Twilight quipped sarcastically before digging her head deeper into her pillow. Neither pony slept very well that night.
Twilight awoke that morning to the sensation of being poked in back, repeatedly. The relentless cyan hoof was slowly poking the lavender unicorn. “Rainbow, what are you doing?” Twilight asked, her tone indicated she was not fully awake yet.
“Well, um, we, I mean you need to get up. I know you sleep in sometimes but I don’t want to be late for the group lunch again.” Rainbow Dash answered with a melancholic tone.
“Then why didn’t you just get me up like you always do?” Twilight asked groggily as she sat up, wincing slightly as the bright sunlight poured in through her window.
“I didn’t want do anything that might make you madder.” Rainbow responded with a clear look of dejection in her eyes. The pegasus was desperately hoping she could catch Twilight in a good mood so she could apologize. She knew, from experience, that if she could get that apology in quickly she wouldn’t have to listen to Twilight rant all morning. Some things were just not worth being ‘right’ over.
Twilight sat quietly for a few moments to allow her thoughts time to organize. After she allowed most of the sluggishness to subside as she gradually woke up, the unicorn thought about what Rainbow Dash had just said. “Well I do appreciate your concern for my feelings, Rainbow,” Twilight began, “We both said some mean things last night.”
“I know and I’m sorry. It just seems like every time I bring that up you get all evasive and it really bothers me.” Rainbow Dash said. “I know you were a bit off that day but you did once tell me I didn’t need to hide my feelings from you.” She continued, trying to say everything she could before Twilight interrupted her. “I just wish you would be honest with me. Why won’t you even talk about it with me?” Rainbow Dash asked with a voice burdened with stress.
Twilight turned around to see her friend sitting on the floor by her bed. Dash’s cyan hooves were perched over the edge of Twilight’s bed as though she were hanging from the edge of a cliff. Those magenta eyes stared right at her, further pleading Rainbow Dash’s case. Pangs of guilt struck her heart like an arrow. Twilight hated this feeling. There was only one way out this now, excuses. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she began sheepishly, “I mean do you really think that it’s appropriate to be doing that? I mean what if you lose control? Or even better, you could just plain drop me. I really don’t see how it could possibly be a safe activity.” Twilight continued as she picked up momentum. “Let’s not forget trying to explain those injuries to a doctor or our friends. What would Princess Celestia think if I got hurt doing that? What if I died? The Princess would probably banish you somewhere and-“
Rainbow Dash leapt forward as she reached her hoof out to Twilight’s mouth. The swift placement of the hoof was enough to stop the unicorn’s hyper mouth from spouting any more wild conjectures. “Okay, Twi, I get it. It’s a terrible idea. I’ll never bring it up again.”
Twilight pushed Rainbow Dash’s hoof away, “Rainbow, I-”
“I said forget it.” Rainbow Dash snapped.
Several moments passed in silence. Neither pony could think of what to say next. After what felt like an eternity, Rainbow Dash spoke, “Twi, I need some time… to myself.”
“Rainbow please don’t-” Twilight tried to respond as a wave of guilt washed over her.
“I know I’m interrupting you a lot right now, but please let me finish.” Rainbow’s tone was firm. Twilight nodded silently. “I don’t want to end this, but this whole fight made me realize something.” Rainbow Dash said. “I haven’t spent any time practicing the last seven months that I’ve been coming here. Thinking about that is making me kind of worried. I’ll never be able to get into the Wonderbolts if I spend all my free time reading.” Her mind raced with worry. How would Twilight respond? Please, please, please understand, Twilight. Rainbow Dash thought.
Twilight sighed heavily. She looked at Rainbow Dash and smiled, “Oh, that’s what you were worried about.” The unicorn said with relief. “Rainbow, I was really worried you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”
Rainbow Dash practically leaped forward as she embraced Twilight with her forelegs. “Twilight.” She tried to not to cry, but the stream of tears refused to cooperate.
“It’s fine. Rainbow. I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I kept you from fulfilling your dream.” Twilight cheerfully reciprocated the embrace.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight were walking down the street towards their designated, weekly meeting with their friends. The sun was out on full display with no clouds in sight to dilute the warm, cheer-inducing rays. The street was bustling with ponies of so many different colors a true rainbow might be jealous. Ponies shuffled to and fro as they made their way in and out of the myriad of shops and restaurants that lined the street. On either side one could see the various booths, carts, and stands of different vendors trying to peddle their wares in the open air market. Locals of Ponyville often called this place ‘Business Street’ or the ‘Weekend Market,’ though, like any other street in town, it possessed no official name. Ponyville was large enough to be on a map, but small enough that the residents still navigated their town by landmarks.
As the two friends neared a particular outdoor café Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof towards an empty table, “Hey, Twi, look,” she said enthusiastically, “Nopony else is here yet.”
“You know what that means.” A devious smile grew on Twilight’s face. The two ponies began laughing in manner that was more than a bit unsettling to the surrounding patrons of the restaurant.
“Hey look, Applejack we beat every pony here again.” The bouncing pink bundle of energy cheered.
“Sure looks that way, Pinkie, not that it’s much of a surprise.” The orange earth pony replied.
The two ponies trotted over to a large table at the outdoor café. Before either one could take a seat, two ponies suddenly leapt up from behind the table, “We win this round!" Twilight and Rainbow Dash shouted in unison. Applejack hopped back in surprise while Pinkie Pie simply ignored the whole scene and took her seat. The other patrons, the wait staff, and many passers-by simply stared.
“What in tarnation was that all about?” Applejack asked, her faced show a look of mild irritation.
“We got here first, so we win.” Twilight responded excitedly with a huge grin.
“Goodness, Twilight, I didn’t think you were that competitive. Rainbow must be rubbin’ off on ya.” Applejack straightened up and walked over to sit down next to Pinkie Pie.
A furious blush overcame Twilight, “We don’t do anything of the sort.” She replied quickly as her embarrassment seeped through her every word.
Her friends simply stared at her, utterly confused. Suddenly, Applejack spoke up, “Um, Twi, I think you might have misheard me.”
“Oh,” Twilight responded, somehow blushing even more. “Just, um, forget I said anything then.” She quickly added.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie could no longer keep it together. The two ponies burst out laughing. “Way to be discreet, Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said through bouts of laughter.
“Discreet, huh,” Applejack said with curiosity in her voice, “Seems Twilight’s rubbin’ off on ya, RD.” Applejack grinned smugly.
“Hey, I can use fancy words if I want to.” Rainbow Dash shot back in response, as she and Pinkie finally finished laughing.
“Indeed you can darling, but you simply can’t fault us for not expecting it from you.” Rarity interjected as she approached the table. Fluttershy remained unsurprisingly silent as she followed behind Rarity towards the table. The newest arrivals took their seats as the group of friends exchanged their typical greetings.
“Oh, Rarity you won’t believe what happened today.” Pinkie Pie said with far more excitement than was necessary. “Twilight and Rainbow Dash got here first. First! Can you believe it?” the pink pony exclaimed as she bounced up and down in place.
“Well, well that is quite impressive from our two nocturnal, ‘reading buddies’ was it.” Rarity responded calmly in hopes that nopony would bring up the penalty for showing up last.
“Yeah, that’s right we won. You know what that means don’t you Rarity.” Rainbow Dash said energetically as she leaned over the table in Rarity’s direction. “You and Fluttershy showed up last so you have to buy lunch for me and Twilight.”
“Ah yes, I know, Rainbow. I’m sure you are quite delighted with yourself at this turn of events, but do not expect this to become a regular occurrence.” Rarity responded. She was slightly sour at this turn of events as it meant that she would be bearing the brunt of bill. Fluttershy did not have much income to speak of and what little she had went towards caring for her animals and to meagerly stock her own pantry. The sweet little pegasus went out of her way to save up for this lunch every week, not to mention her weekly spa visit with Rarity, and even then Rarity usually helped cover part of her bill. Generosity was one thing, losing a bet was quite another.
At that moment a white coated pony dressed in a formal white vest and matching cuffs approached the table. His red bow tie was a charming accent to his white attire while his slicked back navy-blue mane and tiny, yet well groomed mustache gave him a definite air of sophistication. “Good afternoon, ladies,” the waiter pony said with his rather fancy accent, “Will you be having the usual, or will somepony be needing a menu?”
“The usual will do just fine, for all of us.” Rarity chimed in while glaring at Rainbow Dash. Rarity knew better than to let Rainbow Dash order when she was the one accountable for the bill. Luckily for her, Rainbow Dash seemed content with this decision. She was really hoping the pegasus wouldn’t try to make up for it with a massive dessert order later.
“Very good, madam.” the waiter pony replied before trotting off to place the order with the kitchen.
“So I guess you two decided to give it a rest early last night.” Rarity quipped, aiming the statement at Twilight and Rainbow Dash in the vain hope of finding out why they showed up so early for once.
“Oh, Rainbow was bit more energetic than I was really ready for last night.” Twilight replied, wanting to keep their little spat from becoming a topic of discussion.
“Oh my, that must have been… nice.” Fluttershy said with a mild blush growing across her cheeks, her soft voice barely loud enough for her friends to hear.
Twilight immediately thought back to their early cuddling and tickling which, to be fair, was quite nice. Without further thought she replied, “Oh it was quite fun, but pretty exhausting at times. You have no idea how delicate Rainbow can be with her hooves.”
The moments passed in silence. Each of her friends were feeling a bit embarrassed, if not a bit aroused at the thoughts being conjured by their imaginations. Suddenly, Twilight realized what she had just said aloud, in public. The embarrassed unicorn quickly glanced around hoping, praying, even begging that nopony beyond her current table had heard that. Every pony at the cafe seemed to have their ears trained in her direction. To her credit, Twilight managed to perform an impeccable impersonation of Fluttershy. A small squeak escaped as Twilight dove head first under the table, desperately wanting to be rid of this embarrassing attention.
Rainbow Dash was feeling very, very conflicted. On one hoof, her reputation was certainly increasing from Twilight’s awkward comments, even it was a massive misunderstanding. After all it can never be a bad thing to be known for a pleasing time in bed. On the other hoof, she knew Twilight was not appreciating the misunderstanding. The only clear option was to step up and single-hoofedly correct the situation before it got out of control. “Hey, it’s not what you think. Twi’s just really ticklish if you know where to rub.”
“You are not helping, Rainbow!” Twilight shouted from under the table.
“Oh goodie, time to eat.” Pinkie Pie exclaimed enthusiastically.
“Your food, madams.” The waiter pony placed their orders onto the table.
“Oh thank goodness, I’m starving.” The lavender unicorn stated as she emerged from under the table. Twilight hoped that the newly arrived nourishment would be a good distraction from that horrid conversation. The six friends, all eager for a diversion, promptly dove into their freshly delivered meals. They chose, and wisely so, to abstain from further conversation whilst they ate.
“You two sure know how to make a scene.” Applejack stated as she noticed her friends had, more or less, finished their meals. “Still, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”
“Why’s that?” Twilight asked.
“As embarrassing as that was to watch ya’ll didn’t really say anythin’ anypony in town wasn’t already figurin’ you two were doing.” Applejack replied. She figured it was obvious. The rest of her friends all had their own assumptions about what Twilight and Rainbow Dash did up in the unicorn’s bedroom at night. “Hey, it’s no big secret that ya’ll have been together for over seven months. Ever since Dash’s incident at the hospital she’s been spending more and more time with ya, Twi. Every week her visits seemed to get longer and longer. Then, one day you just moved into your bedroom with the door locked and left Spike to run the library whenever Rainbow showed up.”
“Wait, what does everypony think we’ve been doing?” Twilight asked with a hint of concern. “It’s true I’ve been letting Spike handle the library at night, but that’s only because I was getting tired of being interrupted when Rainbow Dash and I were reading.”
“Everypony thinks you two have been rocking your bed all night.” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.
“Oh well I did break Twi’s guest bed the other day.” Rainbow Dash stated. She was not entirely sure what Pinkie was talking about, but breaking a bed certainly seemed close enough to rocking one to be a relevant topic.
“That’s because you crashed into it when you flew through the window.” Twilight snapped, somewhat unsure why Rainbow Dash was bringing that up.
Oops, Rainbow Dash thought, guess that wasn’t right. Maybe Pinkie meant shaking the bed. “Yeah well you do toss and turn a lot. Thankfully your bed doesn’t make any noise when you move around too much.” Rainbow said, confident she was on the right track this time.
Twilight’s face met her hoof. The more time she spent with Rainbow Dash, the more often this meeting seemed to occur. “Rainbow, she means they think we are having sex.” Twilight replied with an irritated tone.
“Oh.” Rainbow replied, surprised she could have missed the mark so badly. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing is wrong with what you two are doing, Twi.” Applejack interjected in the hope that she could prevent Twilight from going off on a rant. “Honestly, I think the only reason anypony even noticed is because of ya’ll’s reputations.”
Not being one to be left out of a conversation, Rarity added her two bits worth. “Applejack has a point darling. If you weren’t such important ponies I really doubt so much of the town would have taken notice.”
“Yeah, you have no idea how many stallions I know are always asking me to set them up with you gals.” Pinkie Pie interjected, completely derailing the conversation.
“Twi and RD seem pretty happy together, I can’t imagine why some dumb colts would want to try and break that up.” Applejack was unsure why Pinkie would bring up something like that.
“What? No no no, they don’t ask me about Twilight or Rainbow Dash.” Pinkie corrected her friend’s obvious mistake.
“Then who are they asking you to get the dates with dear?” Rarity asked. Suddenly this topic had become much more interesting.
“Well, duh. They want to go out with you, and Applejack, and Fluttershy. Oh and me. I’ve gotten some requests too.” Pinkie said as though this was nothing exciting. Her friends seemed rather surprised at this turn of events, however.
“Why in tarnation are they talking to you if they wanna go out with us?” Applejack asked. Applejack was certainly curious that there had been, apparently, several stallions interested in her affections. She had been thinking about finding a nice stallion for herself for a few months now. Seeing how happy Rainbow Dash and Twilight had been since they started dating had made her a bit jealous.
“Really, Applejack?” Pinkie Pie asked, surprised her friend didn’t understand already. “Just think about it you silly filly. Fluttershy doesn’t deal with strangers that well and Rarity is that ‘she’s way out of our league’ pony that they are afraid to ask out. They all seem to think I’m really approachable so they just come to me.”
“And where does that leave me?” Applejack asked, still confused about the whole situation.
“Oh, most of them mention something about your brother being big and scary and making threats when they try to go to Sweet Apple Acres.” Pinkie Pie responded as one hoof tapped on her chin indicating she was really trying hard to remember.
“Big Macintosh is scaring off stallions that want ask me out?” Applejack asked in shock.
Pinkie’s face contorted in thought, “I’m pretty sure that’s what they said.” She sounded less than one hundred percent positive of the truth of her own statement.
“Well that explains why I’ve been having trouble finding a colt-friend. Looks like I need to have a talk with my brother.” Applejack grumbled in frustration.
“Why would anypony want to go out with me?” Fluttershy asked suddenly. “I’m sure I’d be a terrible date.” She shrank down so that nothing below her eyes was visible above the table.
Rarity reached a hoof over to the worried pegasus and slid closer as she held her friend against her body, “Fluttershy, darling, you seem to forget that brief fashion career you had. Stallions are always pining over fashion models. It’s perfectly normal that you would have attracted some attention.” Rarity stated as she looked directly at Fluttershy. Her explanation did not seem to abate any of her friend’s concern.
“Hold on, Pinkie, you said you’ve been asked out a few times.” Rainbow Dash said in an attempt to steer the conversation away from Fluttershy. Sometimes the only way to calm the shy pegasus down was to get the spotlight off her.
“Yes indeedy. Not by anypony I was interested in though, so I just turned them down.” Pinkie Pie replied with a smile and a happy nod of her head.
“You have somepony you want to date?” Rarity asked, almost before Pinkie could finish her sentence.
“Yup.” Pinkie responded with another bob of her head. Her smile grew just a tiny bit wider, or so Rarity thought.
Rarity practically rushed over to the pink pony and placed her hooves on her friend’s shoulders, “Well who is it? You simply can’t leave us in suspense like that darling.” She asked excitedly.
“It’s a secret.” Pinkie replied in her typical cheerful tone. There was not a single change in her expression.
Rarity released her friend and turned around, throwing one hoof over her face, “That is simply not fair, darling. I can’t believe you’d keep that kind of juicy information from your closest friends.” The unicorn said with some of her trademark dramatic flair.
“I don’t want to spoil the surprise for later.” Pinkie responded without skipping a beat.
“What do you mean?” Rarity asked, letting her hoof down.
“No more hints. If you want to find out then you’ll just have to keep reading.” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.
“Reading what?” her friend’s ask in unison.
“Oh my gosh, I just had the best idea ever!” Pinkie exclaimed, totally ignoring her friends’ question. “I’ll throw a party for all the single stallions in Ponyville so they can all meet my friends and try to get dates.” The party pony’s smile managed to grow larger than her friends could ever remember seeing before.
“Pinkie, that sounds like a terrible plan.” Twilight said as the pink bundle of energy zipped off to start planning her next party.
The five friends sat in a state that was a strange mix terror and confusion. “We should probably stop her before she can mail out the invitations.” Rainbow Dash said, breaking the silence. The five mares dropped some bits on the table to cover their bill and rushed off in hopes of catching up to Pinkie before things got out of hoof.
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280322 I am quite fond of misdirection when writing. That said, with a teen rating I'm not going off the deep end in any romantic scenes.
yay...
Gaaah!! So many double entendres
WOW damn your going to get me caught reading this on my iPod in the middle of the night this is hilarious
280685 Thanks for the feedback. It helps knowing I can still do something right after not writing for so long.
280701 Thank you, I'm glad you are enjoying it.
280420 you are so mean... I love this keep going.
I kind of think that this needs a comedy tag LOL
280729 I honestly had not intended to have so many jokes when I started. Then I just keep getting ideas for silly little situations when I'm writing and they just all seem to flow together. I'll have to see about getting that tag added. No sense not calling a comedy a comedy after all.
280721 Oh I will. I'm hoping to make use of my extra free time this weekend for some good writing.
that was one of the best 4th wall jokes ever!!!! and build up as great I never saw it coming!!! LOL
its hard to see where Twilight and Rainbow's relationship is, and I am wondering what Rainbow wanted to try!!
when I first read the first chapter, I thought it was going to be sorta lame, but the Dialogue and narration of the emotion is fantastic!
280833 I know right? I had to do a double take for a second there when I was reading Pinkie's lines at the end. My face at first was all
because pretty much everyone had admirers but Pinkie was saying she's interested in someone else, then I was all 
when I caught the 4th wall joke! Man do I love shipping stories sometimes!
280833 mid-air shenanigans would be my guess...
This story
5 Mustaches for you good sir!
280972 mid-air shenani.... Oh dear...
280833 Thanks for the feedback. Their relationship is intentionally nebulous. The title does have a meaning within the story.
If you don't mind my asking, what parts gave you the 'lame' impression? I appreciate any feedback I can get.
280880 Thank you, I am glad you are enjoying things so far.
280972 Thank you for the support. I always like to see reader's speculations on my foreshadowing. I don't like spoiling future plot points, but sometimes my readers' imaginations have come up with wonderfully fun ideas.
Time to get back to my lunch break I guess.
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Story is incredible!!! loving it and tracking!
That's a horrible idea Pinkie, speed dating is where it's at
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Hyzaku, are you the captain of the innuendo squad?
Loving this. Everyone is really in character, and it all sounds natural. And at the same time, very risque.
At several points, I was doing a Sulu impression: "OH MY!"
Great work all around.
Stop implying things that are really completely different!
So I'm enjoying this, but my only question is what do you have against exclamation marks? Theres be a few times I ended a sentence on a period only to have to sort of posthumously add excitement to it once I got to the description part of the text
Rd was asking twilight -if they should ...- I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MENT??!! and twilight said somthing about dieing.. which i didnt get but someone please explain to me!
other than tht gr8! 
I'm laughing so hard while reading this story.
Awkward situations abound, lol inducing moments left and right, a gentle tapping can be heard coming from the fourth wall.
All in all a good story so far.
Thumbs up!
This story makes me think of Elliott and JD on the last season of Scrubs (the REAL last season thank you). "So you guys are spending all your time together, you practically live together and are inseparable but you're not a couple and you don't have sex?" "Yeah pretty much" "Sounds awesome."
one the one hand I like it when pinkie breaks the fourth wall in a story, because for some reason it's on character for her.
on the other