Chapter Five - Trial and Error (Part two)
“Cotton!” the dragon roared as he circled the gardens. A magenta aura engulfed him and pulled him to the ground.
“Spike!” Twilight barked as he landed heavily upon the cobblestone. The two noctii guards were standing at her side. “Are you trying to wake all of Canterlot?”
“Twilight, Cotton!” Spike panicked, desperately trying to escape the Princess’s magical grasp and take to the air again.
“Spike, calm down!” Twilight could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, pulsing through her aura like the beat of griffon war-drums. “Breathe, Spike! You’re going to hurt yourself. Tell me what happened.”
“Cotton…” he gasped. “Letter… fire… ran… garden.”
“Got it! Stay here, Spike—I’ll find her!” Twilight released him and shot into the air.
Closing her eyes, Twilight thought of all the clothing she and her fellow princesses had bought the filly. Casting multiple finding spells, she could sense the direction of each item. Four dresses and two cloaks still hung in their armoire. One set of slippers was still in the room, the other set was scattered throughout the garden.
There!
Twilight felt a small tug in the direction of the silk pajamas Luna had gifted to the filly. She followed the trail, which led to a quiet part of the garden where the three princesses and Spike would often spend time together. This was the one place where they could get away from the world, away from the stresses of leadership, and just be a family.
Twilight alighted on the grass softly, her eyes finding the shivering foal beneath a stone bench.
“Cotton?” she whispered, not wanting to frighten the child any further. “Cotton, it’s me, Auntie Twilight. Are you okay?”
The crying subsided, and Cotton stopped breathing, withdrawing further into the shelter of the stone bench.
“It’s okay, Cotton. Please come out.”
Cotton sniffled. “I'm sorry.” She crawled out from underneath the bench.
“It's alright, Cotton.” Twilight ignored the torn, muddied state of Cotton's pajamas; she drew the filly into a tight hug, cradling her in her forearms. She ignored the mud and mucus being rubbed into her coat, and let the filly cry.
“Let’s get you inside, hmm?” Twilight asked, as she levitated Cotton onto her back. “We’ll get you all cleaned and warmed up, okay?”
She trotted through the garden, both filly and mare silent. Twilight didn’t know what to say; she regretted not having read up on pyrophobia, or any books on foal psychology. She had her work cut out for her in the morning.
Ж
“Cotton!” Spike all but roared as Twilight exited the garden. He couldn’t help but wince as they approached. Cotton buried her face in Twilight’s mane, while Twilight whispered soothing words of comfort. Spike could see Cotton clearly as Twilight stopped in front of him; the filly quivered, doing her best to hide from him.
“I’ll take her inside and get her bathed,” Twilight offered, a sad look on her face as she spoke.
“Sure…” Spike hoped the bitterness could not be heard in his voice. “Go ahead, I’ll be inside in a minute.” He watched in silence as Twilight took Cotton back indoors.
Ж
Twilight wrapped a large, woollen towel around Cotton, drying her mane and coat. Cotton remained silent, despite Twilight’s attempts to get the filly to open up. Twilight threw the damp towel into the hamper, and led Cotton out of the bathroom.
“Is everything alright?” Luna walked down the corridors towards them. “Our guards informed Us of a disturbance in the gardens tonight.”
“Cotton had a little scare. Come on, Cotton; let’s get you back into bed.” Luna accompanied Twilight as they walked the foal through the corridors to her bedroom. When they entered, Twilight levitated Cotton onto the bed, and tucked her in.
“Do you want us to stay until you fall asleep?” Twilight offered.
Cotton nodded. Once the filly was comfortable, Luna climbed onto the bed and rested her chin atop Cotton’s head, while Twilight stood at the door.
“If thou want to talk to Us about what happened…” Luna whispered.
Cotton shook her head vigorously. “I’ll be good.”
“Well, whenever thou art ready. We will always be here for thee.” Luna smiled, not wanting to push Cotton. “Wouldst thou like Us to sing thee a lullaby?”
“Y-yes please,” Cotton answered, turning and burying her muzzle in Luna’s mane.
Luna sang softly, letting the filly cry as she needed.
♪Come little Cotton,
I'll take thee away,
Into a land of enchantment,
Come little Cotton,
The time's come to play,
Here in my garden of shadows.♫
Ж
Twilight bid Luna goodnight, then walked towards Spike’s chamber. Pushing open his door, she found the dragon pacing the length of his room.
“Luna and I have seen to Cotton,” Twilight told him, making her presence known. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”
“Am I okay?” he laughed bitterly. “Am I okay?”
“Spike, please,” Twilight begged, “please talk to me. What happened?”
Spike picked up the oversized sheets of paper he had been working on. Ink had spilled across them and was seeping into the rugs on the floor. “Just doing a little late-night paperwork, burning—” He sneered as the idiom left his lips. “—the midnight oil, as it were.” He crumpled the sheets and tossed them aside, continuing his pacing.
“Spike, please. Calm down.”
“Calm down? Calm down? How can I calm down, Twilight?” Tears formed in his eyes. “How could I have been so stupid? I’m eighty-eight years old, I’ve got numerous doctorates; I should have been smarter than this!”
“Spike, what happened was an accident,” Twilight tried to reassure him. “Just an acciden—”
“No, it wasn’t an accident; it was a mistake,” he interrupted. “This whole thing has been a mistake. A stupid mistake.”
“You don’t mean that, Spike.”
“She lost everypony important to her in a Tartarus-damned fire, Twilight. A fire.” Spike stopped his pacing, turning towards his sister. “I’m a dragon, Twilight. A bloody dragon! How could I have been so…” Spike turned, balling up his claw and slammed his fist into the wall. “…SO STUPID‽”
“We’ve just gotten your daughter to sleep, Spike.” Twilight rapidly cast a sound barrier around the room. “Rein this in, Spike!” Twilight raised her voice. “You should know better than to act out of anger!”
Spike unclenched his fist. “You’re right,” he sighed.
“See, Spike? You’re better than this.”
Spike collapsed, his tears overwhelming him. “Evidently, Twilight, I’m not better than this.”
Twilight crossed the room as fast as she could, wrapping her wings around his snout. “I remember when I used to be able to hold you in my hooves alone; now look at us,” she chuckled as she rubbed her cheek against his. “Don’t give up on her yet, Spike. Don’t give up on yourself, either; you’re a good dragon, and a good pony.”
Ж
“—gon!”
Cotton awoke to a shout. She looked around her room finding herself alone; Luna and Twilight must have left after she’d fallen asleep.
A loud rumble startled her, followed by a shout heard through the hall. “SO STUPID!”
Cotton covered her head with a pillow. “Please don’t hate me, Spike. I’ll be a good filly, I promise,” she cried softly into her bed sheets.
Ж
Spike saw Twilight to his door, smiling weakly. “Thanks, Twilight.”
“Goodnight, Spike.” Twilight gave Spike a peck on his cheek. “Get some sleep, we’ll talk through this in the morning.”
Closing the door, a sheet of paper flitted to the ground. What’s this? he asked himself, picking up the small paper. Something Twilight dropped?
Delicately holding the piece of paper in his claw, he made his way to the center of the room. Being far too late to have Papyrus enchant it for him, he slipped on his reading glasses.
The paper looked to be a form from Cotton’s school. Probably what Cotton came to my room for.
“Family… Appreciation Day?”
He put the paper down, along with his glasses, and rolled onto his side. Any improvement in his mood Twilight had helped him achieve, dissipated upon reading those words.
“Oh, Twilight… what have I done?”
Ж
“Please, Cotton, I am very tired,” the old mare said wearily to the filly. “The other children need me right now. Play in the corner quietly, I’ll come and talk with you soon.”
Cotton sat in the corner, looking at the test she had gotten back from Mrs. Withers. She had been so proud to get a ‘B’ on her test.
Cotton slipped the test back into her saddlebag.
“It’s okay,” she sniffled, tears dripping down her cheeks. “I’ll be a good filly.”
“I’ll be a good filly.”
“…be a good filly.” Cotton awoke, tangled in her duvet. She had lost her pillows sometime during the night, finding them on the floor. Her sheet was soaked, and the fur on her face was damp.
Cotton opened the door to the main hall and made her way to the bathroom. Looking at the disheveled reflection in the mirror, she cleaned herself up as best she could. Seeing her own reflection, scars crossing her face, she held her tears in.
No! I am a good filly. I won’t cry.
Cotton gave her wings a cursory preen; Mother Matron would be very disappointed in her if she didn’t take care of herself.
I will be a good filly.
Finishing with her personal grooming, she made her way to the kitchens. On the way, she was greeted by Sergeant Novamac. “G’morning there, Cotton,” he greeted her cheerfully. “Gettin’ ready for school? Ah’m supposed ta take ya when yer ready.”
“Yes, sir.” Cotton nodded as she entered the kitchen. She found her lunch pail washed and ready on the counter.
“Did ya need a hoof gettin’ yer lunch ready?”
“No, sir.” Cotton clumsily made a sandwich, wrapping it in wax paper when finished. She placed the sandwich and two apples in her lunch pail, then closed the lid.
“Ya gonna take somethin’ ta drink?”
“Oh, yeah,” Cotton whispered, embarrassed. She made her way to the cooler box, pulling out a juicebox and placing it in her lunch box.
Grabbing the handle of her lunch box in her mouth, she muttered, “‘m ready, fir.”
Ж
“G’morning, Sir!” Novamac saluted Spike as the dragon exited his room.
“Good morning, Sergeant.” Noticing Cotton hiding behind Novamac, he added, “And good morning to you as well, Cotton. All ready for school?”
“Yes, sir,” the filly answered, eyes affixed to the floor.
“Did you want me to take you to school this morning?” Spike asked, hopefully.
“No, it’s okay, Sir. I’m okay.”
“Very well,” Spike answered, a little more curtly than he’d intended. He nodded to Novamac, who remained silent during the exchange. “Sergeant.”
Spike watched as Novamac led the filly down the corridor to the exit.
“Have a nice day at school,” he whispered, as the door closed behind Cotton.
Ж
“What’s the matter, Midnight Snack? Baby having a wittle cwy in the corner?”
Cotton had opted to find a quiet place to sit by herself during lunch. Brick and Boulder had not respected her wish, though that was hardly to be expected.
“Leave me alone.”
“What are you gonna do if we don’t?” Brick laughed. “Gonna get your ‘big scary dad’ to stop us?”
Cotton flinched. She had hoped that Brick and Boulder would just let her be, but both colts noticed her reaction.
“Well, Brick,” Boulder sneered. “What do you know? Sounds like somepony doesn’t want their Toasted Marshmallow anymore.”
Brick guffawed. “What happened? He finally realize you’re a little freak?”
“Go away,” Cotton muttered, trying to suppress the shaking in her hooves.
Boulder pushed Cotton to the ground. “Make me!”
Cotton was always a pushover, and she knew it; it was one of the reasons Brick and Boulder picked on her. She suspected Mother Matron’s advice of ‘just ignore them and they’d go away’ was wrong—she had tried ignoring them for years, and they never let up, never let her be.
Cotton got to her hooves and lunged at them with surprising speed, biting and kicking anything she could.
Ж
“I’m sorry I had to call you away from your work, Sir Spike.” Mrs. Withers sat in her office chair. “And I’m very sorry we couldn’t accommodate you better.”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Withers.” Spike sat in the yard, his neck stretched through the open window of her second-floor office. “When you’re my size, you learn to adapt.”
“I suppose I can’t offer you a cup of tea either, can I?” the teacher asked.
“Not unless you have a bucket, and are willing to hold it for me,” Spike chuckled. “And I don’t know many ponies who would be keen on being that close to a dragon’s maw.”
Both Mrs. Withers and Spike shared a laugh.
“I must say, you are very pleasant company, Sir Spike. It’s a shame that our first meeting should be over something such as this.
“Cotton got into a fight with two of her classmates today. Now, while I’m sure they provoked the situation, the three of them have been rather tight-lipped about what happened.
“What concerns me is that Cotton isn’t usually violent. Has something happened at home? In addition to this fight, she seemed quite upset throughout the day.”
Spike sighed. “Yes; sadly, something did happen at home last night. There was an… incident, and I’ve been trying to reach out to her, but to no avail. I’ll talk to her when we get home.”
“Thank you, Sir Spike. I hope our next meeting is more agreeable.”
Ж
Cotton watched from her spot under a tree as Spike withdrew his head from the window, then dropped back to all fours.
“Cotton, are you ready to go home?” Spike called to her, his expression unreadable.
“Yes, sir,” Cotton muttered, lifting her saddlebag onto her back and crossing the yard to meet him. He was silent as he helped her onto his back.
Aside from the sound of the wind in her ears, the flight home was quiet. The silence continued when they landed near the castle, and Spike led Cotton down the corridor to her room.
“Did you want to talk about today?” Spike offered, as they got to the door to her room.
“No, sir. It’s okay.”
The dragon breathed a frustrated sigh. “Cotton, I don’t know what those two said, but you should never resort to violence.”
“They were picking on me, they always pick on me!” Cotton regretted her outburst the minute it left her lips.
“Even if they did,” the dragon sighed again, “you shouldn’t respond with violence. Ignore them, or go tell your teacher. You’re a good filly, you know I’m right. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to stay in your room for a bit; I want you to think about what yo—”
A good filly.
A good filly.
The words reverberated in Cotton’s ears. Anger seeped through her, and she stopped fighting her tears.
“I had to stand up for myself because you weren’t there to do it for me!” Cotton pushed through the door to her room and slammed it shut before Spike could respond.
She screamed. She screamed, and kicked, and bit and tore. Feathers from her pillows scattered the floor, furniture toppled, and books were thrown from their shelves.
Cotton continued until she collapsed; her anger, pain, and tears finally ran out.
Ж
Twilight knocked on Cotton’s door, a small tray of food levitating in front of her.
“Cotton, sweetie? It’s me, Twilight.” When there was no response, she opened the door.
Twilight held in a gasp when she saw the state of the room. She tried to not calculate the cost of the damage to the books torn and scattered across the floor. Huddled in a ball in the middle of the maelstrom was Cotton, sleeping fitfully on the floor. Twilight put Cotton’s dinner tray down on her study desk, and levitated the filly onto her bed, covering her with what sheets were left untouched.
“I’m sorry,” came a whisper from the bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Twilight asked.
Cotton didn’t respond.
“Okay, well, your dinner is here; I had the chef prepare you some soup.” Twilight opened the door, but turned back. “When you do want to talk about it, I’m here.”
Ж
“I don’t know, Spike,” Twilight sighed, trying to comfort the dragon. “The books I’ve been reading today say you shouldn’t force a foal to talk about something when they’re not ready. Just give it time.”
“But things are getting worse, Twi.” Spike lay on his back, staring at the high ceiling of his chamber. Thoughts of her last words drifted through his mind.
I had to stand up for myself because you weren’t there to do it for me!
“I keep making things worse.” Spike closed his eyes. Perhaps if he couldn’t see the world, the world wouldn’t see him, and spare him the heartache he was going through at that moment.
Seconds later, he opened his eyes again, his futile attempt at controlling existence having failed. “How long will I keep hurting her, Twi?”
“You can’t keep blaming—”
“I can, Twilight. It is my fault. Maybe I could have done something different tonight, but the whole reason we’re in this mess is because of last night. And last night isn’t something that I can change. I will always be a dragon, Twilight. Always. I can’t change what I am.
“Maybe… Maybe it would be better if she went back.” The words left an acrid taste in his mouth. He didn’t want to let her go, but Spike knew he had to do what was right, not give in to his own selfish desires.
“You don’t mean that!” Twilight gasped, tears welling in her eyes.
“I have to think about what is best for her. That’s what being a parent is about, right?” He laughed bitterly. “She would be better off with a chance for a real family, and I think I’ve shown that I’m not capable of giving her that.”
“Please,” Twilight begged. “Please, really think about this before you make any rash decisions.”
“I’ll think on it, but we can’t decide on what would suit us just because we want her around. If she’s unhappy here, I don’t want her suffering because of my selfishness.”
Ж
Dear Mother Matron,
It is with my deepest regrets that I am writing to you. I fear I was unwise in my adoption of Cotton, not fully taking her past into account.
Two nights ago, Cotton came to my chambers whilst I was working. You may recall the way I correspond with my co-workers. I was sending one such letter when Cotton came to my door; while the ætheric flame could not harm her, Cotton was unaware of this fact.
Princess Twilight was able to find Cotton after she tried to run away. Since then, she has gotten into fights at her school, and she has withdrawn from all of us, and it is all my fault.
Cotton is very dear to me; she deserves a real family, not somepony like me. Please help her find somewhere she will be happy.
I am so very sorry.
Spike
Mother Matron sighed, putting the letter down. She had re-read the letter five times already, each time hoping there had been some form of misunderstanding; Cotton had seemed so happy on her previous visit.
“I am very sorry, too, Sir Spike,” she said, closing the letter in her drawer.
Ж
Twilight did her best to hide her tears while she folded the clothing she and the other princesses had bought for Cotton and levitated them into the little suitcase. How could this have all gone so wrong?
Cotton sat silently at the window overlooking the gardens. Memories played back in her head like a movie reel she couldn’t stop or slow down. Hide-and-seek with Luna and Spike, picnics with Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia, quiet walks through the grounds with Spike, and lying on the grass listening to his stories headlined the mental theater. That one short week had been like a dream, something she could never have imagined. But like all dreams, this one was coming to an end.
I tried to be a good filly. Why am I not good enough?
A rap on the door drew both Cotton’s and Twilight’s attention. “The guards have informed me that Mother Matron has arrived,” Spike’s voice came through the closed door. Cotton hadn’t seen him since Princess Twilight had told her she was going back to the orphanage.
I don’t know how I can behave better.
Twilight levitated the suitcase, and joined Spike out in the hall, Cotton following in silence, her eyes affixed to the floor.
The walk down the hall was… awkward; Cotton never looked up, and Spike only gazed forward.
Cotton looked up at the doors, with the two guards standing on either side of it. This would be the last time she’d see these doors, and the last time she’d see these guards; she hadn’t even learned their names.
Mother Matron stood in front of a taxi, a somber expression on her face. “Hi, Cotton.” She hugged the little filly. “Ready to come home?”
“I guess so,” Cotton mumbled.
Twilight loaded Cotton’s suitcase into the back of the taxi. Spike stood on his hind quarters, looking away from the filly, trying desperately to hide his tears.
“You’re all packed,” Twilight sniffled, standing back next to Spike. “It was lovely meeting you, Cotton. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out.”
Cotton raised her eyes to look at the dragon that had almost been her father. She felt ashamed of herself; he couldn’t even look at her. Nothing will ever go right for me. I can never have anything, it’ll always be taken away from me, she thought, looking at Spike.
No!
Cotton ran to Spike, wrapping her hooves around his broad ankle. “Please, Spike! Please don’t send me back! I’ll be a good filly! I’ll be better. I won’t talk, I won’t be naughty. I’ll do anything! Please don’t send me away!”
Spike’s head spun around so quickly, it might well have caused a sonic rainboom. Tears flowed down his cheeks, and he backed away, bringing himself down to ground level with her.
“I don’t want you to go away, Cotton. I—I thought you hated me. That you didn’t want to live with me anymore. You’ve been so unhappy.”
Cotton clung to his neck like it was a life-preserver. “Please don’t send me away! Please, I’ll be a good filly. I promise! I’ll do anything. Please don’t leave me.”
“You are a good filly, Cotton,” Spike blubbered as he spoke, rubbing his chin against the small pegasus, curling his neck around her in an embrace. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I always wanted you to stay here, I just don’t want to force you. I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the other day, Cotton. Stay with me, and I will always be there for you. Always!”
Mother Matron approached the pair, tears in her own eyes. “Cotton, it looks like you can stay here after all, if you want.”
Cotton turned, tears streaming down, but a wide smile on her face. “I do. I do want to live here, Mother Matron…
“I want to live with my Daddy.”
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This made me tear up a little. So adorable.
But seriously, Brick and Boulder need to get expelled or something.
dragon down, dragon down somepony get a doctor. spike is having a heartattack from over cuteness
3348891>>3348975
Your tears are delicious to me...
Glad you enjoyed it.
3349081
Hhnnnggg... I repeat... hhnnnggg...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/249/546/e07.png
3348891 The sad thing is that B&B's kinds of actions aren't expulsion-worthy. Expulsion usually requires SERIOUS physical injury or horrible emotional scarring (which yes, I would agree they are doing, but it's hard to actually prove most of the time). What's even sadder is that these actions are common. I know from experience, being a teacher AND being bullied at that age.[/soapbox]
Right in the Feels
Manly tears have been shed. Not by me, but the other readers. Hit me in the feels though. Good job.
3348891>>3349244
Sadly they aren't really even suspension worthy... they might get a stern talking to, and possibly a parent teacher conference, as well as detention (assuming they have those where ever you are)... I can also attest, having been a bullied student at school, and working at a school...
Unless the teacher hears or sees it herself, they have to temper their punishment...
Even if that totally sucks.
So much...
So much... liquid pride all over the place
The hell with liquid pride. You made me cry man... and I'm proud of it. Too dame emotional.
3349355
Okay, in that case, how about this?
Cotton invites her 'friends', Brick and Boulder over to her home for lunch. Now they of course don't dare refuse an invitation to the palace. Then Cotton will tell her Dad and Aunt Tia and Aunt Lulu and Aunt Twilie all about how much fun she has at school with her 'friends' Brick and Boulder. Her dad and aunts will talk about how fond they are of her, how happy thy are she's making such wonderful friends., etc. Everything will be very happy and spoken in broad generalities...
But the message to the colts - and their parents, who will also be there, of course - will be plain. If they keep picking on Cotton, her father and all three Princesses will take it personally. And they will be sorely tempted to handle it, personally.
In other words, if regulations don't work, use politics.
I hope Spike make those bullies piss themselves in fear then get their flanks beaten by their parents!
I just manage to hold the tears back at the end.
Nice job!
AMAZINGYOUHAVETALENTYOUHAVEBLENDEDTHEWORDSYOUAREAMAGICIANTHISISGREAT!!!!
SO.MUCH... Argh my heart!
3349374 Who's Lavender?
3350015
Whoops, wrong name. That's from another story where Spike and Rarity have a daughter together.
3350023
I thought that name sounded familiar... I tried reading that story once, but I stopped reading because I found Lavender was written like she was much older than she was supposed to be in the story... and sadly for me, if immersion is broken, then I usually stop reading (that's not to say the story is good or bad, just didn't work for me)
It's the main reason I try to avoid writing foals in stories, I even worry that Cotton is a little "too grown-up" at times.
3350048
Considering what she's been through, being a little grown up for her age is understandable. The only thing that breaks my immersion is when scrolling causes a document read error.
I can't carry all those feels T_T
One of the best lines to end a chapter. Bravo.
in the name of all of us
Anonymoose we salute you for all the feels you made us have...
this is by far one of the best chapters i have ever read and might be the best in all (if you won't make a better one)
majhost.com/gallery/LaughinMan/Random/rd_salute.png
3350613
I accept you praise, as humbly as I can.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/360/0/3/pinkie_wears_sunglasses_like_a_baws_by_pinkamena_pinkiepie-d5p9bpu.png
Like a baws!
3350051
Let me guess, somepony has an android tablet running chrome?
At least, that was what was causing the scroll errors for me. Moved to Firefox, and now I can read with impunity.
3350671
i just download the epub files...
read on my nook simple / note2 / tablet... the only problem is to sync progress
3350671
Nope. Windows PC using IE.
3351333
IE? Well, there's your problem!
I always had severe issues with IE and this site (not to mention, a lot of sites) so I shifted to using Chrome and Firefox.
But interesting to know the scroll errors happen on more than just my chrome tablet.
3353673
Next time I have that problem, I'll open a firefox window and copy/paste the link.
The Children of the Night shoutout..
Ah, balance has been restored from the fallout. Though I expected it to last a chapter or two.
3354606
Yeah, didn't want to drag it out too much. I tried to work out how I could extend trial and error into three chapters, but I felt like I was going for too much filler.
Plus, I have a lot to cover with this story, so didn't want to get bogged down too much in the adoption arc.
Glad you liked the shout-out. I went with Children of the Night because everyone seems to use Hush Now, Quiet Now, and surely Equestria has more than one lullaby. Tried to see if I could find some lullabies online to ponify, but our lullabies are kind of shit.
oooooooooooooooow ;A; sweet
3350048
She seems very natural, her reactions fit perfectly for a child who has been through what she has.
I am almost tempted to wait until it is completed before reading the rest, but I doubt that my resolve is strong enough.
The singular complaint I have about the entire story is Cotton's name. In my experience, Cotton is a boy's name, I get an odd sense of gender dysmorphia when I read her name. Growing up in Phoenix my earliest exposure to Cotton as a name was Cotton Fitzsimmons, coach of the Suns.
The name cotton fits her perfectly, I am hardly suggesting that you change it, this is purely my own hang up.
To reiterate, I love the story, keep up the good work, and I cannot wait to see the next installment.
Cotton needs to understand that she is a good filly, but what happened the previous night was an accident and Spike now way shape or form meant to scare her. She needs to somehow let Spike know that she doesn't not hate him, because it's heartbreaking to know that Spike feels that Cotton hates him.
3372477
Wow, that's kind of funny, I wasn't even aware that Cotton was a boy's name. I kind of take pony names to kind of be a part of a whole, rather than first name/surname deal. So to me, she might well as be named Cottoncandy (one word) as Cotton Candy, as the two together are what make it a feminine name (at least in my mind)
But then I guess because the characters in the story do shorten it to Cotton, rather than her full name (much like in the show they shorten Pinkie Pie to Pinkie, but there I doubt there is the same gender dysmorphia as Cotton)
Honestly, I am not sure if Cotton Candy does suit the character in this story, it's kind of a lay-over from a story I was writing where Cotton was the daughter of a couple from a travelling circus, and she lost her family in a fire. I didn't like the story, so stopped writing it, but I loved the character, so I kept her. Just had to rejigger her backstory.
Oh so damn sweet! TwT got diabeetus cause of this damn story! Love it.
You ass, no offence. "None taken"
You pull my heart in one direction then all of a sudden 360 me the other you...
.
.
You genius!!
How, how do people do this? This little 'ae' thing?
I realize that this is really late, but this chapter touched my very soul... I cried for almost half the time I was reading. So many Feels!
Oh, the feels!
I love it so much!
"faux pax"
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/c/cb/Comicbookguy.gif/revision/latest?cb=20120624090208
I believe you will find it is spelled 'faux pas'.
Man, you need to fire your editor, he stinks.
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
Move down a line.
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Ya
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I want to give Cotton Candy a huge hug right about now.
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It's actually unisex, the name Cotton that is. Although more popular for boys, Although like Crystal Moose said, ponies don't have surnames. Some families may have naming themes (like the Apples after Apples or Apple Produce), but that's a rarity more than something common.
That and Cotton Candy is feminine. It's soft, gentle, and sweet. But yeah, mostly when thinking of names it's best not to think in terms of human naming conventions, or human ideas of gender. Since ponies don't. They simply name them after a physical / mental / magical trait; Future Special Talent; or what their Cutie Mark will be (at least a good 90% of the time). But sirnames, familial titles, and other things that humans use for names simply aren't used by ponies (and humans using human naming conventions for ponies utterly fails almost all the time it's used.)
I won't pretend to be an expert on the subject, but from what I've observed bullying is mainly a problem of visibility. The bullies in this story are not in any way subtle, and the teacher is obviously aware that this is a persistent issue. This should not be a problem.
It's even sadder because that turnaround would never happen on Earth. She would return to the orphanage, miserable and even more emotionally destroyed and Spike would end up bitter and withdrawn over the whole ordeal.
One complaint, feels that time moved a bit too quickly. Speaking from experience, when you hate yourself, you kinda think about it on a constant basis. Maybe drag it on for a bit? Though that has problems of its own.
Otherwise, is cute.
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I won't pretend to know what depression is like, but if I recall correctly, when these earlier chapters were written, we didn't really want to linger on Cotton's experience with it. Let me also direct you to 3355134's response to someone else regarding the potential length of recovery from the fallout.
Thank you for getting this right. It's one of my pet peeves to get rein and reign correct.
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I do pride myself on my knowledge of homophones and homonyms, but the original author got that one correct himself.
The one that annoys me the most is when people use 'lead' instead of 'led.' I have a feeling people think it's a similar situation to 'read,' whose present and past tense forms are the same, but it isn't, and I see that mistake SO FREQUENTLY that it bugs the crap out of me.
We're not talking about metals when escorting someone down a hallway. 
This was actually heart breaking
So heart breaking i'm not one to get all emotional but having a adopted daughter of my own I know what spike was and is going through I know spike i know
7528743 That's probably the only critique i have with this chapter. While it's very possible for Spike and Cotton to work out their differences and fix their broken bond, the last minute hell turn is one of those moments that just feels like it's made for a tv drama, rather the something out of real life.