Chapter Twenty-Four - No Fun Anymore
The next morning...
“You gave her WHAT?” Spike bellowed, fire and gems leaking out of his mouth.
“T-to be fair, Spike, We shall also toss Cadenza over the chariot and admit that she provided Us with the magazines,” Luna responded, gradually sliding away from him as she finished off her breakfast salad. “We believe Cotton is old eno—”
“That’s not your decision to make!” Spike growled, before raising a claw to cover his face. “And it’s ‘throw her under the carriage.’”
“Either way, We see no issue with Cotton wishing to move forward, especially since her griffon partner was prepared.”
“Don’t even get me started on that,” Spike replied. “I still don’t know whether she told him to come with a stock, or if he brought them himself expecting something to happen. I’m not sure which would be worse.”
“I… I told him to, Daddy.”
Spike and Luna looked across the dining table to find Cotton entering the room, peering at them from the tops of her eyes as her head faced the floor. Spike let out a sigh. “How long have you been listening, Cotton?”
“Since…” Cotton couldn’t resist letting a small smile slip. “…Since Aunt Luna tossed Aunt Cadance over the chariot.” Spike mimicked the smile momentarily, but it disappeared just as quickly. He sat silent, staring at Cotton with his chin in his claw, his elbow resting on his knee, as she slowly approached him.
“‘Tis rather early for thee to be awake on a Saturday, Cotton,” Luna said. “Art thou alright?”
Cotton hesitated. “Yeah, I was just up early. And, well…” She glanced at Spike, who was still staring at her with his fiery gaze, before casting her eyes to the floor.
When Spike made no sound for at least another minute, Luna asked him, “Spike, what art thou—”
“Be quiet, I’m thinking.”
After another silent minute, Cotton sighed, looked up, and met her father’s steely eyes. “Daddy… how much trouble am I in?”
Spike let out a short grunt. “…Not as much as you could be. It’s come to my attention that a couple of your aunts have been giving you… let’s say assistance that I don’t particularly agree with.” He glared at Luna, who edged further down the table from him. “That’s factoring in as to whether or not you should be grounded.” Cotton winced as he turned and fixated her with the same glare.
With as much courage as she could muster under her father’s gaze, Cotton slowly lifted a hoof and started, “Daddy, if I—”
“Hush, Cotton, you don’t get a say in the matter,” Spike growled. Cotton recoiled, then nodded as she turned her downcast eyes back to the floor. Spike grunted. “I don’t know if you’re covering for him, but if you aren’t, you explicitly told Steadclaw to bring a supply of contraceptives with him to your dance. Like I said last night, as far as I’m concerned, you two aren’t ready for that next step yet; even if you do make a charming couple, you’ve barely been together for a couple of weeks.” He let out a huff. “It seems that your aunts…” He intoned a sharp emphasis that made Luna jump. “…have been encouraging you, though…so I’ll let it slide this time and chalk it up to bad influences.”
Cotton let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Da—”
“However!” Spike continued, his head lifting as Cotton flinched, “You also managed to convince two of the guards to let you pass them when they were explicitly given orders not to do so. I don’t know if that means you’re getting good at manipulating ponies, or if that was simply those particular guards being lenient because it was you instead of one of your classmates. I may chalk it up to the latter.” Expecting another ‘but’ of some kind, Cotton waited for her father to finish. He lowered his volume and let out a sigh. “Despite the lack of time in your relationship, I’m proud of you for planning on being safe, though.” He paused for a moment as he let out a deep breath, then rested his chin back in his claw. “Alright. You’re not grounded.” Cotton released the breath she’d been holding. “But you’re on thin ice for a week,” Spike finished.
Cotton looked up at her father with an arched brow. “Umm… What does that mean?”
“It means any foolishness that may have earned you a mild scolding will get you in deep trouble instead,” Spike said. “So if I hear anything negative from your teachers, or if your aunts or I catch you doing anything you shouldn’t be doing, you will be grounded. Is that clear?”
Cotton stood to her full height. “Yes, Daddy.”
Spike nodded. “Good. Your final exams are the week after next, so studying hard for them would be a good way for you to keep yourself out of trouble.”
“That’s true,” Cotton responded. “We’re studying in class Thursday and Friday this coming week, so I guess I should…” After a moment of thought, she asked, “Hey Daddy, is it okay if I invite the girls to come over and study next weekend? If she’s willing, I bet we could all use Aunt Twilight’s help to make sure we’re prepared.”
After a few moments stroking his chin, Spike nodded again. “That should be alright. I know you’d actually be studying with your Aunt Twilight keeping an eye on you.”
With an uncertain breath, Cotton asked, “What… what about Steadclaw?”
Narrowing his eyes, Spike said, “You’re pushing it, Cotton… but if you’re all studying with your aunt, I’ll allow it.”
“Did somepony mention studying?” Twilight trotted into the room with a smile.
Spike couldn’t help but laugh. His sister looked like she’d simply returned from a casual stroll instead of overseeing a massive party. “How are you not completely exhausted from last night, Twilight? Actually, before I forget, you did an excellent job with the dance. It looked like it went off without a hitch,” he said. "Mostly."
“Yeah, thanks, Aunt Twilight!” Cotton added. “The dance was a blast!” She avoided looking at her father, just to be safe.
“Decades of experience planning just about any kind of event eases the stress, Spike, as do a few tips from Pinkie. And you’re very welcome, Cotton! I’m glad you had fun!” Twilight chirped. “So what was this about studying?”
Cotton laughed internally. Typical Aunt Twilight. “Well, I was wondering if you could help my friends and me review for our exams next weekend.”
“Of course!” Twilight answered with glee. “When are your exams?”
“It’s one of the four cores each day the week after next,” Cotton answered. “History on Monday, Math Tuesday, Science Wednesday, and Equish Thursday. Only the seniors have exams that Friday, so Thursday is our last day. After each exam is over, we’re done for the day, so we have the rest of the day off—or some time to study for the next exam,” she quickly added. “We’ll be studying with our teachers in school this Thursday and Friday, so if you could do something like a final review next weekend, that’d be really helpful.”
“Wow, one exam per day is pretty generous,” Twilight said. “I had three exams in one day when I was your age.”
“I also held you to a much higher standard, Twilight,” Celestia said as she walked into the room. “Good morning, everypony.” Each member of the family greeted her accordingly. “Cotton, would you mind coming with me for a little while? I’d like to talk with you. And don’t worry, you aren’t in any trouble. I just want to confirm a few things.”
“Oh. Um, okay,” Cotton said with a shrug.
As she and Cotton left the room for the stairway, Celestia looked at Spike over her shoulder. Lighting her horn, she asked him telepathically, Has she had breakfast yet? When Spike shook his head, she responded, Well then, make sure something substantial is ready when we get back. We might be gone for a while…
When Celestia and Cotton were out of sight, Luna rubbed her hooves together. “If this conversation promises to be lengthy, We believe two fillies have free entry into the realm of nightmares.”
“Hold on, only if they—wait a minute!” Spike whipped his head toward Luna. “Did you just spy on our telepathic conversation?”
Luna narrowed her eyes with a menacing smile. “We are able to tap into Our sister’s telepathic frequency rather easily.”
Spike crossed his arms and shook his head, then he took out a claw and began counting talons as he spoke. “Okay, one, NOT OKAY! Two, I have to keep my promise to those fillies if they held their end. And three, how did you even know about this? You should’ve been in the dreamscape the whole time!”
Luna shrugged. “It just so happens that the one moment We chose to astral project Ourselves to glance at the festivities, We found thee berating Cotton’s school bullies. Thou hast quite the gall to threaten using Our manipulation of the dreamscape without consulting Us first, Spike.”
Spike huffed. “Well, you clearly don’t have any objection to it. Nor did you four years ago. But since you obviously know what the deal was, wait to see if they actually did leave anything out before you go sabotaging their dreams.”
With a pout, Luna crossed her hooves. “Thou hast lost thy sense of merriment, Spike.”
Twilight, trying—and failing miserably—to discern the conversation’s context, finally snapped. “Would you please just speak like a normal pony and—”
“Oh, very well, Twilight,” Luna huffed. She thought for a moment, then cleared her throat and turned to Spike. “You’re no fun anymore.”
“Thank you, is that so hard?”
Luna smirked. “Nay, We simply enjoy rubbing thee in the incorrect manner.”
Twilight’s face burned red, then she grumbled, “You are the master of butchering the Equish language, Luna.”
Ж
“…Wow. They really told you all of that?” Cotton asked Celestia in her office, after about a half-hour of recounting numerous bullying incidents.
“They did indeed. Is there anything you think they left out?”
Cotton put a hoof to her chin. “I honestly can’t think of anything else; I think they covered it all, even stuff I didn’t remember. Geez, those two must keep bullying journals or something if they remembered all of that,” Cotton said. “I can’t really speak for Buzz, but if they told you about all of that, I seriously doubt they left anything out.”
Celestia nodded with a smile. “Very good.” She retrieved a piece of parchment and a quill from her desk, then began writing before she continued, “Hopefully those two will clean up their acts after six to eight weeks in juvenile hall.”
Cotton’s eyes widened. “Wait, what?!”
“Well, after being given specific boundaries for your dance, they intentionally left them and attempted to infiltrate the castle,” Celestia replied. “They deserve no less a punishment than your changeling friend, and he had good intentions.”
Cotton smiled. “Finally, those bi—ad fillies are gonna get what they deserve,” she responded, amending herself.
Celestia smirked at her. “Good catch, Cotton.”
Cotton’s face reddened slightly with a nervous smile as she tilted her head up in a flourish. “Why, whatever do you mean, Aunt Celestia?” she asked with mock elegance.
As she came around her office desk, Celestia gave Cotton a light rap to the shoulder with the edge of her wing. “As long as you keep that kind of language between your friends, I won’t give you any grief, but you know I’m not fond of it.” She opened her office door and allowed Cotton to exit before following behind.
“I know, Auntie Tia. Sorry,” Cotton replied.
“That’s a good girl. And speaking of being a good girl…” Celestia paused. “You do know that there is no shame in preserving your virtue, don’t you?”
Cotton’s face burned crimson as she continued walking forward. “…I have no idea what you’re talking about, Auntie Tia.”
Celestia chuckled. “Come now, Cotton, I have ears everywhere. Don’t think you can hide something like that from me. I didn’t relinquish my chastity until I was nearly three-hundred.”
Cotton stopped, then turned around and faced her aunt. “I’m pretty sure if I aimed for that, I’d be attracting necrophiliacs, Auntie Tia.”
“Not at all. They’re all locked in Tartarus,” Celestia responded casually as she continued walking past Cotton. “Now come, I’m starving.”
Cotton smacked her head with a hoof. If I hadn’t heard it with my own ears…
“Hmm… I wonder if the chefs saved any of the cake from last night…” Celestia pondered aloud.
Shaking the previous thought from her head, Cotton turned back around and followed after her aunt. “But it’s—nevermind, I forgot who I’m talking to.”
Celestia chuckled. “Well, I suppose a pan-cake breakfast would suffice.”
With a groan, Cotton asked, “Are dad jokes still considered dad jokes if your aunt makes them?”
After a boisterous laugh, Celestia replied, “I would just call them what they are, Cotton: bad jokes.”
Ж
As Cotton rounded the corner back toward the dining room, she heard the familiar voices of her father and aunt.
“…would be much better than cramming in one night. I don’t have any issue hosting and helping them for four nights if their parents are okay with it.”
“That’s very generous of you, Twilight. I bet Cotton and her friends would love the idea. But Steadclaw would be staying with me after-hours.”
“…I understand that. Just… try not to be too hard on him if he accepts the invitation.”
“…I promise nothing.”
“Spike!”
“What?”
Cotton finally made her way into the dining room and asked them, “What are you two talking about?”
Spike nudged Twilight forward. “I’ll let your aunt blabber for this one.” Twilight stuck her tongue out at him.
After receiving a return raspberry from her brother, Twilight began with a smile, “Well, Cotton, I’d be very happy to help you and your friends study for your exams.”
“Really? Great!” Cotton said, smiling herself.
“I actually thought that a study slumber party would be a fun idea for all of you,” Twilight continued, as Cotton’s smile widened. “Originally I thought I could help you review for your exams in one night, but since you only have one each day, I think you would all be better off reviewing for only one exam per night, especially if you will have been studying beforehoof. I have no problem helping all of you each night in a row, so I suggested to your dad that we could have a marathon of study slumber parties. That way, you can all relax for a little while after each of your exams, then I can help you review in the evening. I have a feeling your friends would be quite well-rested staying in the castle suites each day before your exams, and a good night’s rest will be just as important. We would just need your friends’ parents’ permission for them to stay here for four nights. How does that sound to you?”
Cotton stood silently with her mouth agape.
“Uh, Cotton? Sweetie?” Spike waved a claw in front of her face.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Cotton cried. “You’d really let us do that? That’d be amazing!”
“Well, we’d need your friends’—”
“Parents’ permission, right,” Cotton finished for her, nodding her head. “Totally get that. Oh my gosh, Aunt Twilight, thank you! You’re awesome!” Cotton leapt at her for a hug.
Twilight chuckled as she returned the hug. “You’re very welcome, Cotton.” She turned her head and glanced at Spike. “It seems Rainbow Dash passed that trait onto me.”
Spike smirked at her, then looked at Cotton. “There’s one other condition.”
“Uhh…” Cotton hesitated as she broke her hug with Twilight. “And that is…?”
“After you’re all through studying, should his mother grant him permission, Steadclaw will be staying with me. And don’t give me that look,” Spike said as Cotton’s brows furrowed and she opened her mouth to complain. “You’re already on thin ice as it is.”
Cotton pouted as she sat on her haunches and crossed her forelegs. “Oh, you’re no fun anymore,” she grumbled. “Just don’t scare him away.” Then a thought occurred to her. “Y’know, Dad, I saw you talking with Steadclaw’s mom last night. You two looked like you were getting along really well. Like, really well…”
Spike spotted the hungry gleam in Cotton’s eye. “Cotton, don’t try and change the subject. Besides, you do remember that she’s still married, right?”
Cotton put a hoof to her forehead. “Dammit.”
Spike stifled a laugh. I wonder if she realizes that that would have made her and Steadclaw siblings… He crossed his arms and tilted his head at her. “Why the sudden interest in my social life?”
Cotton shrugged her shoulders. “Well… you obviously have good social skills, no matter what you may think. It’s been over a decade… Have you thought about going back on the market?”
Spike snorted, letting out a gout of smoke. “What for? I have plenty of work to do managing the Archives and taking care of you,” he said, lightly tapping Cotton on the head with a free talon.
Cotton shrugged again. “Well, I just thought it would be interesting for you to try dating again.”
They suddenly heard a gasp from behind him. “Spike, you want to try dating again? Oh, let me help! I can make a list of the best potential matches for you!”
Spike turned to Twilight and said, “Now Twilight, don’t—”
“—and I can look through the records to find any registered single bachelorettes of whatever species you choose, match up your interests with theirs, see what kind of lifestyle they live…”
Spike put his claw to his face, then turned and glared at his daughter. “Cotton, you just sealed my fate.” As Cotton put a hoof over her muzzle and giggled, her stomach growled. Spike smirked.
Right on cue, the chefs came in, rolling a large stack of pancakes on a cart. Celestia walked into the dining room behind them. “Well, well,” she said.
Cotton turned her head. “Looks like you’re getting your ‘cakes’ after all, Auntie Tia,” she giggled. Turning to her father, Cotton pointed a hoof at Celestia and said, “Her pun, not mine.”
Spike snapped his talons. “Shoot. And here I thought I was rubbing off on you.”
Cotton groaned. “You are. That’s the problem. I’m unintentionally making puns in school now.”
“Yesss! The puns have been doubled!” Spike laughed.
“THOU DIDST NOT JUST SAY THAT!” bellowed from upstairs.
Ж
I, ________________________, hereby give my child, ________________________,
permission to attend “Study Week” with Princess Twilight Sparkle at Canterlot Castle the Sunday through Wednesday nights preceding their final exams, under the condition that they check in at home and eat lunch before proceeding to the castle, whose staff will provide them with dinner.
Should my child cause any damage to castle property, they understand that they will be held responsible and will face the full consequences of their actions.Parent Signature ________________________
Student Signature ________________________
“I think that should cover it,” Twilight said. “I just want to make sure they all check in with their parents before they come. It wouldn’t surprise me if they all wanted to rush over here after school.”
“Agreed,” Spike replied. “I don’t expect any of them would actually cause any damage—that’s really just a formality.”
“Exactly,” Twilight said. “And Cotton should be telling them to respond by tomorrow in her messages to them, so there’s no need to write an RSVP time.”
“Daddy, Aunt Twilight, I’m done!” Cotton called as she trotted into Spike’s room, four sheets of parchment under her wing.
“One letter to each of your friends explaining exactly what the offer is and what they need to do?” Twilight asked.
“Yep!” Cotton replied.
“And a side note to Steadclaw?” Spike added.
Cotton rolled her eyes. “Do I have to?” she whined.
“Well, you can either put this in instead, or you could write your own,” Spike said, giving her another slip of parchment.
Cotton took the slip and read it:
Addendum: If any male griffons should touch, caress, cajole, or otherwise initiate physical contact with any female pegasus whilst under castle supervision, the parent understands that there is still a working dungeon with which unnamed dragons still have access to, which are incidentally completely flameproof.
“DAAaaAAD!” Cotton yelled.
“Your choice,” Spike said with a shrug. Cotton huffed and took her letter to Steadclaw, writing a few more sentences before holding it up to her father. After reading her side note, Spike nodded and said, “That’s better.”
“Now that that’s taken care of…” Twilight said, “give me one moment.” She cast a quick multiplication spell on the permission slip she had written, creating three additional sheets. “Put one of these in each letter, and your dad will send them on their way.”
“Okay,” Cotton responded, laying out the four letters and pairing them with slips, then rolling them up into scrolls. “This one’s for Flarechaser…” Spike took the rolled-up letter and breathed out a puff of his dragonfire, and the letter went wisping out through the window. “This one’s Harmony…” Another puff of fire. “Daisy…” Another puff. “And Steadclaw!” Cotton finished with a little bounce. Spike cocked a brow at her, then breathed his final dragonfire breath out of the side of his mouth.
“Don’t get too bouncy, missy,” Spike chided. “Remember, this is a study slumber party, and each of your friends will be going to their own rooms when you’re finished with your Aunt Twilight, so no late-night chit-chat.”
Cotton gave him a deadpan stare. “And Steadclaw will be staying with you, gradually getting roasted every night. Got it.”
Spike couldn’t help but chuckle. “That depends on him. We’ll easily move a set of suite accommodations into my room for him—his level of roasting will be determined by how well he behaves.”
“Can I hopefully assume that the roasting level starts with a zero?” Cotton asked.
Spike smirked. “Let’s put it this way: good behavior, he gets a cracker. Bad behavior, I get roasted chicken.”
Cotton gawked at her snickering father. “Whatever you do, do not say that in front of him!”
Spike continued snickering. “No prom—”
“Spiiiiiiiike,” Twilight nearly growled as she glared at him along with Cotton.
Sighing, but holding his smile, Spike responded, “Oh, you’re no fun anymore.”
Ж
As Cotton left the dining room for the stairs after lunch, the iron knocker rang out. Waving off one of the guards, she approached the door and heaved it open, only to be immediately shouted at.
“Most def!”
“Totally!”
“Absolutely!”
Flarechaser, Harmony Wishes, and Daisy Withers all stood there holding their permission slips, signed by themselves and one of their parents.
“My mom was thrilled!” Daisy exclaimed.
“My parents told me I’d be crazy if I said no,” Harmony added. “Not like I would have.”
“I think my parents just want me out of the house, but they were totally down!” Flarechaser finally said.
“Awesome!” Cotton smiled as she gathered up their slips in her wing. “I’ll show these to my aunt and dad so they know there’ll be at least four of us. Hey, any of you heard from Steadclaw? I sent him a letter, too.”
“We figured,” Harmony said, “but nothing yet. We all bumped into each other on the way here; we didn’t see him, though.”
“Huh, maybe his mom’s being harder on him than Dad was on me…” Cotton mumbled under her breath.
“What was that?” Daisy asked her.
“Nothing!” Cotton replied quickly. As she looked up, she saw two blobs in the air gradually growing larger. “Hey! I think that’s him!” she said with a grin. “Is that his mom with him?”
“Might be,” Daisy mused. “Girls, let’s bounce; might be a parent-to-parent meeting about to happen.”
“Truth,” Flarechaser responded. Flying around the corner, she called, “See you tomorrow, Cotton!”
“Yeah! And thanks a ton for the invite!” Harmony added as she and Daisy walked down the path.
“Of course!” Cotton called back. “We’re gonna ace these tests for sure!”
“With Princess Twilight’s help, I certainly hope so.” Cotton heard Stella’s voice as she descended from above, Steadclaw right behind her. “Lovely to see you again, Cotton,” she said with a smile.
“Likewise,” Cotton said. Peering over Stella’s shoulder at Steadclaw, she blushed and simply said, “Hey.”
“Hey,” he replied, staying in his position. When Cotton tilted her head at him, silently asking for more, he said, “Sorry… I’m on thin ice.”
“That must be like a parent thing now,” Cotton replied, “‘cause I am, too.” Steadclaw rolled his eyes.
Stella cleared her throat. “Cotton, is your father around? I’d like to speak with him about this invitation you sent.”
“Yeah, he’s here.” She turned around and shouted, “DAAAAAAAAAD! NEED YOU AT THE DOOR!” The guards rolled their eyes. Then Cotton turned back to Stella. “Is something wrong? Can Steadclaw not come?”
“Well,” Stella began, “I read your letter in its entirety. I’d just like to know what the odds are that my son would come home without being crispy.”
“That all depends on him,” Spike said as he trundled down the hall towards the door. “As long as he’s on his best behavior, his hide will require no herbs, even while he stays with me in my chamber. Does that put your mind at ease, miss married molly?” he finished with a smirk.
Stella chuckled. “Quite so, mister naughty knight.” She turned to Steadclaw and held out her claw to him. “Give it here, my soon-to-be roasted fledgeling.”
“Hey!” Steadclaw cried as he gave Stella the permission slip and a pen. After signing the slip, she gave it to Cotton, then flapped her wings and landed on Spike’s shoulder.
“Thank you for such a generous offer, Spike,” Stella told him. “We both really appreciate it.”
“You’re quite welcome, Stella,” Spike replied. “It was actually my sister’s idea. She seems rather excited about it herself,” he said with a chuckle. His smile and volume dropping, he asked her, “So what did you do about last night?”
Stella let out a sigh. “Well, considering he was prepared to be safe, I thought a full-blown grounding was a bit harsh, so he’s on thin ice for a week.”
Spike grinned. “Great minds think alike, I see.”
Stella’s brows arched. “Really now? That’s all? Given I was told that Cotton initiated the attempt, I would’ve thought you’d have a little more oomph behind your consequences. Or was I misinformed?”
“No, she told me the same thing,” Spike responded. “Like you said, they were prepared to be safe, and given her honesty, I toned down the punishment a bit. It seems they’ll be back on solid ground at the same time.” As Spike and Stella both looked back down toward their children, they found them beak to muzzle. Spike let out a quiet snort. “Not surprising, given I won’t be allowing that while they study.” He leaned in close to Stella and whispered, “Cover your ears and watch this.” As Stella clamped her claws to her ears, Spike let out a loud bellow.
"Hey!"
A shriek and a scream released simultaneously as Cotton and Steadclaw turned to face Spike, expecting a glare. Instead, they found him and Stella both snickering. “You’re incorrigible!” Stella laughed.
“DAAAaaaAAAD!” Cotton whined, “You just scared the shi—ugar out of us!”
“Nice save,” Steadclaw said.
“Yeah, don’t want the ice to crack.”
“What in Equestria was that?” Twilight asked, coming from behind Spike.
“Spike, you nearly leveled the castle,” Celestia added, coming up next to Twilight.
Princess Luna leaned over the upper level banister with a yawn. “Wouldst someone care to explain why Our sleep was disturbed?”
“Just making sure our children behave themselves,” Spike said.
“Personally, I’d call it good parenting,” Stella added with a chuckle.
Celestia raised a brow. “I take it that means you’re both aware of the conditions for ‘study week’?”
Steadclaw sighed. “Yes, Your Highness, but… do I really have to?”
“Well, you can either stay with Spike, or enjoy a lovely view from the moon,” Celestia replied. Luna glared daggers at her from the upper floor.
“Uhhhh… I think I’ll stay with Spike,” Steadclaw responded.
“Wise choice,” Celestia said with a smile. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fully accommodated. We’ll have a bed brought to his room from one of the suites, and we’ll even keep a bowl of fruit supplied for you if you get hungry. Tell me, Steadclaw, do you like bananas?”
“NAY!” Luna shouted from upstairs. “IF THOU HAST ANY WIT ABOUT THEE, THOU WILT NOT RESPOND TO HER!”
Celestia wrinkled her muzzle up in her sister’s direction. “Oh, you’re no fun anymore.”
Luna grunted. “Enough! If anypony else pinches Our phrase, We shall throw them under a camel!”
“If you can spot one,” Twilight snickered. Luna snorted before going back to her room. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Steadclaw,” Twilight said. “Spike won’t be in his room most of those nights anyway.”
Spike whipped his head in Twilight’s direction. “Wait, what—”
For those of you that are wondering what just happened:
And for anyone thinking Spike was too lenient with Cotton’s punishment… Shahrazad told me he would have made it no less than a month, so you’re not alone in thinking that. Let’s say I’m a bit more liberal.
Also, tons of credit to Shah for taking my initial ‘roasted chicken’ comment from last chapter and totally rolling with it. 
Edit Post-Site Update: Spike's "Hey!" was originally triple the size, but the update now only allows the current size as the maximum. Oh well.
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Uuuuh will it be datenight for our little Spikey-Wickey?
That was hilarious!
admit it the whole chapter was just a setup for the joke at the end.
good show though.
I prefer the image of "ticking time bomb" rather than "thin Ice", you never know what might set that off.
Great chapter, hope we get to see what Twilights plans are.
Also Cotten, if you really want to get Spike "back on the market", the 4th aunt is the one you want to go to [its the pink one].
honestly it saddens me that celestia supports spike, not because i support the idea of teenagers rushing to sex or anything, but the choice should be the girls to make and i feel someone needs to call spike off, like full on parent using the middle name call him off and make him step back and look at what he's possibly doing. he risks the potential of possibly causing a rift between him and his daughter that may last the entirety of her life, and he'd have to regret that for several hundred years afterwards. what spike needs is a strong parental figure to force him to sit down and remind him he needs to back off and that he also is neither to old or too big for them to make it so her can't sit down for a week. in short, where is the grandma figure in this? hell i'd settle for ember the cool aunt calling spike off.
Well, Spike's roasting thingy must be from his alligence to the Reptilian Brotherhood...
8144721
You'll find out tomorrow.
8144969
Actually, I'd originally had the entire chapter already written with ONLY Celestia saying it at the end. When I showed the chapter to Crystal Moose, he said I should put that joke in, so I went back and REWROTE the chapter so I could fit in the rest of the joke.
8145034
I like the ticking time-bomb idea, too, but then what would Spike have said to her? "I'm strapping you to a bomb"?
Also, Cadance will be giving some input. Just... a little differently.
8145070
Well, be careful. It's not explicitly stated that Celestia supports Spike in this. All she told Cotton is that there's no shame in waiting, not that she should wait. Celestia's a neutral party. Also, keep in mind: no parent is perfect. Spike's daughter is adopted, has been traumatized since a very early age, emotionally and physically bullied, and is still in a fairly early stage of a relationship. He's naturally going to be overprotective and try to set boundaries.
However, he did have 'the talk' with Cotton, so it's not like he didn't foresee her potentially trying something; he just hoped she wouldn't. She's a teenager, though, so whether or not she was going to try was up in the air. Obviously she did, and Spike's reaction in pseudo-grounding her is clearly not surprising at all to some (given that someone downvoted your comment, their thinking is likely on par with his). I'm writing Spike as the overprotective father, but in reality, I agree with you. At 16, I personally think it should be the girl's choice (Then again, Chef said 17, and he's a pretty good authoritay...).
In terms of someone 'sitting Spike down' and telling him to back off, though, I completely disagree. Like I said before, no parent is perfect, and Spike is in a very unique situation as one, so there's really nobody that can say "this is how you should be raising her." In my opinion, unless the parent is being abusive or their child is causing another harm, it's really no other parent's place to tell another how to raise their kid anyway, no matter how much I would actually want to do so myself. That's an argument that could be expanded upon and continued though, and I'd really rather not have that happen here. Spike did what he did, and you'll just see what develops from here.
Overall, you make some valid points; some that I agree with, some that I don't. You'll just have to see what happens.
Spike/Stella- Cotton, you were completely right! Our love cannot be denied! We've researched flocks among griffins and Herd laws to make it official! We're family now!
Kids- Oh. Er...nice?
Spike/Stella- And now you can both live together! Legally as brother and sister! Completely platonic! For the rest of your days.
Cotton- Oh Celestia no! I was kidding!
Stella- And if a Dragon/Griffin couple wasn't exciting enough, just imagine how we'll spice things up when my husband gets in on the action
!
Kids- BRAIN BLEACH!!! BRAIN BLEACH!!!
Joking aside, I really do love this chemistry you have with Spike and Stella. I'd actually love to see them shipped, despite having to include herd dynamics and juggling the legal logistics with Steadclaw and Cotton. Ah well
.
*chuckles*
8145229 now that's dedication
8145229
Spike: "Your not grounded, but you will be on your best behavior or things will become, explosive."
8145229
No, I have to agree with the other guy some. You're writing him as being a bit too pushy for 'overprotective, lovable parent' and despite all the laughs AFTER the talks are over, during it's starting to feel kind of tyrannical. How you see what you write and how it comes across to various others can be different scales altogether sometimes, especially depending on how deep into the writing and subject the individual reader is compared to those who just absorb and move on, at times.
As you've written them, Cotton and feathers seem like that after the fact they would agree with Spike that it really was too early on. They're both bright, mature, and incredibly reasonable.
Spike's reaction pushes just past the line, however. Enough that I actually had to stop and re-read just to make sure because it took me out of the flow of the story. He is definitely somewhat too harsh in this chapter, especially with that 'you don't have a say in the matter' line. That is a big offender. If she's of the age where intercourse is legal and/or acceptable socially as the interactions of the princesses might suggest - and at least two of them seem to believe she has a good enough head on her shoulders for this option, then this line by Spike is over the limit and needs some checks and balances.
It's couched within a lot of feelgood and characterful parental tropes, but it rubs wrong. Talking to her to ascertain whether she feels the time was actually right or if it was just something she 'wanted' would have fit someone of Spike's intelligence as you and Crystal have written him. Instead, to avoid that would require anger, which he displayed openly. Which was shown to be directed at Cotton even shortly during that whole punishment talk and the overly consistent threats towards her beau.
Without those checks and balances, there is the possibility that he creates a rift between himself and his daughter, or worse, damages the relationship between Cotton and Steadclaw. Something that someone who was written to be so conscious of making mistakes and creating a problem just like that would consider. It thus feels completely unnatural that he is not, and that his more knowledgeable and older family members aren't also seeing this and talking with him about lightening up some. Putting her on thin ice is fine and I'm not saying that should be questioned, but there's only so much room inside of 'overprotective' before you get 'overbearing'. You may not see it that way, and since you're writing it you can completely ignore that it's turned out this way and follow the track you've got planned, but I will have to say it doesn't feel entirely natural that no one's said anything to Spike.
Perhaps even Cotton herself, pointing out to Spike that she agrees with how he sees things, but that the way he's acting and the extremely pushy and offensive wording he's used are not only not welcome, but continuing it may cause some instability in her newfound relationship. I mean, it hits romance book handwave-y territory when you think 'but if he truly loves her it won't be a problem' when you take into consideration that there's real fear for one's life involved there to at least some degree for a relationship only a few weeks old.
8146046 why yes, yes it was. Hail to Slaanesh!
8146161
Hmm. Very valid points. Like I told 8145070, I do personally agree with him in terms of the daughter's choice, but I felt like it wasn't pushing too far over the top. Like I mentioned in the A/N, my editor (who is also a father with a daughter, like Spike) had told me he would have made the punishment even harsher, and he's a very reasonable person, but he may fall more with the people that are likely the ones downvoting Grif's comment and believe Spike is right in acting the way he is. Overbearing parents do exist, and I honestly do believe they have a right to be as long as they aren't abusive, but I personally don't agree with that method of parenting (then again, I'm not a parent yet, so WTH do I know?). I don't want to spur an argument about parenting styles, though, so readers, please don't start one.
The one thing I do want to defend on my part, however, is the 'you don't have a say in the matter' line. I just want to clarify, Spike meant that Cotton didn't have a say as to whether or not she was grounded, not whether she had a say as to what he thought about her and Steadclaw 'getting together.' If Cotton had been able to say her piece, then she might have been able to sway Spike's way of thinking, but he was acting on paternal impulse, and didn't give her the opportunity, which Cotton accepted (this time). I realize some parents do do this, but there are very few that would actually ask their child whether or not they think they should be grounded. While Cotton actually is one that would say she should be if she did something wrong, this was one of those times where she didn't get the chance to defend herself. While this did break Spike's character a bit, I don't think it's completely unreasonable for that to happen once or twice.
What I will say is that there's a moment in this upcoming chapter that will allow me to shift Spike's thinking later on. I guess this is one of the few times I'm actually glad I haven't gotten very far into the next chapter; input like yours and teal's is quite helpful. I wouldn't consider it pandering to change Spike's way of thinking, as you brought up points about how he's been written in previous parts of the story that don't quite fit how he's been written now. That kind of input allows me to get back on track to keep things a little more consistent, even if I can't go back and change what's been written already. For that, I thank you. Hopefully you enjoy the chapter going up today, then are willing to wait for what's to come. Fair warning, the dynamic of the next chapter is very different from this one.
8146355
Honestly I don't see the problem of the punishment. How I was raised, as long as your honest. You might get in trouble, but nowhere near as bad as if you lied. Since both of them fessed up and were completely honest with their parents. Them being on thin ice is fitting. A good incentive for being honest, but with the undercurrent that if they mess up their original punishment would be doled out with full force.
And I do the same thing when watching my little bro while my mom works. He's honest, I might not let him watch TV for a few hrs. Or I might make him sit in time out for a while. But it's usually very short, very loose punishments. But if he lies, he knows that he's getting his butt spanked, and he's going to be in a whole lot of trouble.
Same with this. Yeah, Cotton done goofed trying to get laid this early in her relationship. While her dad, and aunts were at the house (not smart). But she fessed up to it, as well as her involvement in initiating it. So it's all good. And it'd suck for the story if she was grounded for a month.
8146512
I don't think it's the punishment people are annoyed about. It's the way Spike is acting in regards to the situation. In terms of the actual punishment, it seems to be fitting to most, but how Spike spoke while implementing it appears to be OOC for this version of him, and it's a valid point.
Ooo, look at that. Time to post the next chapter!
Hmm Twilight going to play matchmaker? Who would be a suitable at his age and with his interests... Ember? They would most likely be close enough in size.
...Did Spike just use the Thu'um?
8150866
(yes, I know it's a Skyrim reference 
)
His version of the Royal Canterlot Voice, but if you want to call it that, I won't stop you.
So many Monty python jokes
The fun has been doubled
That's a dad joke only Spike can get away with!
