• Member Since 5th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 5 minutes ago

Cynewulf


My Podcast! | Wolves for the wolf god! DISCORD: Ask Me Thru PM for an Invite. Sorry.


T
Source

Luna and Celestia leave the safety of their home in the city of Jannah to seek out a prophecy of power and destiny far to the west, at the end of the world, that only Celestia remembers.

And Luna is sick of the whole business. It has been a long, long journey.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

I must have more of this. :yay:

Damn. That hits HARD.

Nice job.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Wow this is very good! You should continue!! :pinkiehappy:

3196096 Mercy is a thing for East of Jannah. West there is only tapering off and the Sea of Mountains.


Good luck out there.


3196115 I may tell their whole story. Maybe.


3196132 Thankya kindly

I do declare... A mighty fine tale here good friend. Something I enjoy while sipping a mint julep on the porch of my estate. Quite the powerful piece I must say.

and all the days since the Song ended and the circle had been broken.

Is that a reference to the Silmarillion? More specifically, to Ainulindale? If so, AWESOME!

Nice work, Cynewulf. I enjoyed it. At the risk of sounding like a fool, may I ask, is this what Celestia and Luna are up to during the opening events of The Night is Passing? And I love the fact that Jannah gets some more love attention! (Albeit indirectly.)

3201564

That's exactly what I had thought- that this might be where they are. The broken Circle, the end of the Song, the reference to hurting ponies places it well after their emergence into the world.

I love the spare tenseness of this piece, how you create moods with a bare minimum of words. As with all writing I love, I am captured and motivated by what's hinted at and not directly spoken of- it's a skill I lack, so I respect it all the more, the ability to suggest and build upon things unseen.

And that's so much what I feel here- that we've walked into the end of a story, and have to reconstruct the earlier parts by what we observe, and the clues that are dropped. It's inductive, the story has to be built up from the scraps of information you leave us. It begs for analysis, to piece together the new world... and creates excitement.

I guess that's a long way of saying "I like it!"

The other question is... will they stumble upon Jehannum or Sheol?

WAITWAITWAIT

I was thinking about this story, and it just hit me: why don't they just fly? :rainbowhuh:

3206629 Good question.


Because of the rain, partially. But also because I think Alicorns aren't quite as much endurance fliers as Pegasi can be. They're obviously not lithe.

3206727 Thanks! But... can't birds fly in the rain? But I suppose the endurance thing makes sense, they probably don't spend nearly as much time flying as a pegasus would.

3206962 mhm! They can. But it would be even more tiring bogged down.

The narrative reminded more of the Dark Tower series more than anything, where the characters are set in some sort of vague lost lands and things are just the slightest bit odd. Anyhow, I did actually enjoy the narrative style here, and your usual good character focus was fantastic, but I felt like this was a bit pointless. The story seemed to aim at something metaphoric almost, but whatever it was, I didn't grasp it within the short 1.5K here. That's assuming this wasn't just a experimental musing. In general, everything was written well but there just wasn't enough to really get anything meaningful going for me.

Amazingly written piece, the descriptions of scenery and emotions were incredible and haunting. Please tell me Celestia survived, I can never be sure with stores like this. :fluttershysad:
Like I said though, excellent fic, I would have loved to see a continuation, but what's here is fantastic in of itself.

The character work and the descriptions were good but it feels too pared down in some respects for example:

“You should have let me die in the streets, Sister. When I held you up,” Celestia spat, and realized she was crying. “You should have let me fall.”

I have no idea what this refers to. And while you can get something from context, it's still a bit jarring to the reader, who knows that it means a great deal to the characters but not why or even exactly what. There are other bits like that but that's the worst. Inexplicable references that cause the mind to chase memory and find a dead-end.

It's funny because it's like this story is a sequel to a past story in the way that you want to know their past and what they are going towards. Ha. It's a well written story though.

5645840 kind of like the sequel to a story that doesn't exist and the prologue to a story that isn't done yet.

This is an awesome (I'm going with the biblical usage here) and haunting story. However, I have a few questions, this appears to be referring to locations, rituals, and backstories of Celestia and Luna that are unfortunately lost on me, as with some of the larger parts of the plot (and a few bits of the conflict that were mentioned in the description). Is there by any chance a story that explores this in full, or was the mystery/Alternate Universe ambiguity (which I love to write into my own stories) intentional? I enjoyed your interpretations of what I take to be Pre-NMM Celestia and Luna, where Celestia seems to be a radiant, somber, and matronly Tolkien-esque Elf figure and Luna is much more of a bombastic berserker with an enigmatic streak along with a wrathful god touch. (Exactly like a Luna picture-that I believe is from your profile page-saved to my computer in one of the many rare and elusive subfolders...)

7137816 Jannah, the city they have just put behind them, is a large part of The Night is Passing. It is no longer a good place.

I expected people to see the word Jannah and remember the West but mostly intentional ambiguity. Sisterhood is a sort-of prequel to Night, in that it is actually IN Night as a flashback. It's generally a good idea to assume that 75/80% of my atories are in parallel worlds or in the same one--Night being the sort of Ür-example and the others following, existing either in its stream or just next door.

7137973

I had assumed that, since I write stuff like that too-it's great to see people doing this! I do have the Night is Passing sorted within one of my bookshelves. If I recall correctly it is the sort of glove box one. Is it the story with the tags of Ro/Ad/Dark and has chapters the length of entire stories?! :twilightoops: It looks really good though. :fluttershyouch: I did get that reference to ancient Mesopotamia.

7137989 yup! The longer chapters are mostly in Act 3 tho. It gets hella metaphysical biblical. Also crazier. Also also deadlier.


In this case I have definite lore behind it all but honestly I'll throw in stuff just to create a sense of disconnection, of the alien and the new. I like that bit of mystery.

7138020

Mystery is like sugar: you really can't get enough, as is lore. But some of those chapters are seriously LONG. I have no idea ho long it would take for me to read that, but I'll still keep tabs on it. :applejackconfused:

Login or register to comment