3214578 Does it feel a bit better now? Sorry if it's short or if I missed some grammar or something, I haven't been feeling to good lately.

(Speaking of chapter 2)

pretty good chapter I guess. Though I would try to separate the dates better. It's tough to tell if this is before, after, etc. It is a fairly good piece, and i think the only reason it has all those dislikes is from "group spam".. How do you do that? I literally havent touched groups ever, heheh

3254990

Though I would try to separate the dates better

What exactly do you mean?

3257771 Like, you had the first chapter at this year, this time. Next chapter, you had it say it was the same year, different time. I, like, didn't know if the second chapter was before the first chapter (it had him teleported to equestria first chapter, but showed what happened earlier in the day in the second) or nothing happened the first chapter and he kept going about his life in the second

3258746 wait wtf... what???

WHEN did I say he TELEPORTED to Equestira? He is no where NEAR it yet.....

Closest thing to Equestria in chapter 1 would e when the weapon that was test fired nearly made impact with the moon.

Also, the time was easy to tell because chapter 1 they said early tomorrow. Chapter 2 he woke up early, and ran to go get the modifications done. Reason? Because he got promoted and can finally do it.... so it's clearly the day after chapter 1.

3259106 eh sorry, if i were you i'd put in a date or somethin. I mean, not trying to mean or anything, but sometimes readers get confused. One of the big things and author has to do is explain little but important details. Trust me meng, I have a story of my own after all

Okay before I read any more, I just want to say this. 1000 years ago everybody wore tunics and and all those fancy get ups they had back then for the rich. Now we got jeans T-shirts and boxers. So apperently 800 years into the future they have the exact same cloths as we do now. NO! This is not how fashion works! Rarity would be freaking out right now! Okay so I wouldn't go all elastic pants with all that futuristic stuff, but still!

P.S.- I just had my first rant about cloths. Huh.

-Clay the Draconequus

Began reading the story and continuing at this moment. Found 2 minor errors to be corrected.

5:24am, six minutes until he was due to start my enhancements.

i think you wanted to put his

As he approached the set of double automatic doors he quickly regained his composure and let out a breath he didn't notice he was holding. He began walking towards the doors when they suddenly opened.

You just missed a , between doors and he.