Crossovers10,942 stories ·7,362 members
The Writers' Group56,384 stories ·9,291 members
Rainbow Dash7,252 stories ·4,141 members
One-Shots18,903 stories ·2,369 members
Game Crossovers4,411 stories ·5,469 members
When Rainbow Dash bucks against her limitations, the consequences begin to affect more than her self-esteem. She needs a hero to help her believe in the impossible again, and achieve it.
Enter: The Captain.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Cover pic credit to its maker. Wasn't me.
Page generated in 0.105 seconds
Total duration
916 users online
1,371,381 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I don't know why, but I can see Rainbow Dash and this Captain Falcolt do a little personal training.
Welp time for the music to kick in.
3195197
You just won the game.
3195098
YES!
SHOW YA MOVES!
3195745
SHOW ME YA HOOVES!
I'll read this latter, but looking at the image I have to say this.
Foalcon Punch!
Sorry, ever since I heard that term, and how similar it sounds to falcon I had that punny joke stuck in my head. To great to pass up. Seriously though. I have this on my read later list, and I'll give it an honest look over. It looks like it'll be an interesting story. Best of luck on this.
3198298
LMAO. Now that's a new one! Have a Spikestash
3198298 hehe i was gonna say dat same thing
3195197 win!!!!
3201296
Now having read the story ... That pun will haunt me when I see him around foals. He's going to have more jokes around him than Batman in a gymnasium full of underage boys in leotards (Poor, poor robin. All 3 of them.)
That being said. This chapter was good. Rainbow Dash trying the impossible, and the appearance of Captain Falcolt was epic. I swear when I heard FALCOLT SMASH! I immediately thought of the Hulk in Pegasus form. That being said, what was the tar thing?
3203634
Thanks!
And I ain't sayin' nothin' bout nothin'.
3203634 XD i have no idea
3221505
Who said he wasn't?
3204371 A primid from subspace?
3233169 probaly, its been a while since i played that game lol
I had a similar idea once.
That was loooong ago.
...Maybe I should revisit it.
Anyway, nice job! I await more!
3255894
You should! It's surprisingly fun to write.
Thanks for reading.
Wow, TP! That was a good read. Loved the play on words - Falcolt, heh - and overall I really enjoyed going through this. Not so much the genres, but you did very well considering. I liked your Prelude to Disaster story more, but both are good. This one has length and laughs on its side, and I like that.
I'm going to break this down. I really liked how the story wasn't entirely linear and didn't just revolve around Rainbow Dash. You brought up conflict in the form of Twilight's broken rib and Rainbow's guilt. (Am I sensing TwiDash in there?) Then, the introduction of Falcolt wasn't what I expected at all, and I liked how you said Pinkie was gentle despite her hyperactivity. That was a nice touch. Part of my TwiPie head-canon states this as true.
Back to your story. I can see why you wanted to dwell a bit more on Rainbow's feeling bad before meeting up with Pinkie. I agree that part may have been better off elaborated, but I don't think it's worth the re-writing at this point. Your sentence structure was nice and your grammar very good, though I did find the occasional mishap/typo. I'm curious about this "Rainbloom"--is that a play on words as well, signifying it as a flower? As in, is that what this part is?:
Just keepin' you on your toes, TP. As for something I noticed:
Missing a comma after the "for" there. On another note:
Could be a pet peeve of mine, but I'd suggest not using multiples of the same letter to signify a trailing off in dialogue. I would use italics or an eclipse instead, as it looks neater.
All in all, good job! I had fun with this and I can't wait to see more from you. You're awesome, TP! (Remind me to keep sayin' that, alright?
)
3271483
Oh, you. I didn't expect a full-on review.
Yeah, I would like to redo the whole chapter at some point. It's funny how much you can learn about story structure in a few weeks!
I ain't sayin' nothin' about nothin' plot-wise, but thanks for pointing out those mistakes! Lemme know if you see/saw any more.
Also, stop saying I'm awesome. You'll turn me into one of those fat-heads who are so self possessed that they sign the end of every post with their name.
-T.P
3271612
Nothin' but the best for my friends.
Hopefully I set you at ease about that aspect, though I do understand what you mean now. Still, it's not really that big of a deal, IMO. You still did really well.
Sure will!
Oh man, those signatures... I only do so if I'm private messaging someone and want to keep it formal, not at the end of every post. I don't think you'll get to the point where you're that big-headed, though.
Good. Now, all we need is a Kamen Rider/Captain Falcon crossover, and all will be right with the world.
I mean, just compare the Rising Mighty Kick to the Anime version of the Falcon Punch!
3291642
Yes. Precisely.
I believe you mean "and".
Celestia, is it not? More like "celestial", and less like "cilantro"?
3291662
3291881
Ah ha!
Thanks, mate.
3291888
What do you think? Chapter two alright?
3291931
Loved it.
That line at the ending killed the moment through.
It was spelled "Pinkie" earlier, correct?
It seems somebody ditched his twin.
No Dantes here. Just dents.
And don't get too self-centered. Too many "i"s can make dialogue too boring.
3291910 No problemo!
I am amazed I haven't seen this sooner. I wish I could do more than fav, follow, and like.
3291945
Thanks again, mate. My spell check decided to take the day off at the end.
Glad you liked it! Stay tuned; I planned for this to be short, but six thousand words in and I've yet to set up the main conflict.
FML.
3291986 Don't worry; a story doesn't require the main conflict to present itself gradually. I'm sure you can do it if you keep up the good work!
Oooh, great chapter as always, TP! I was on the edge of my seat as Rainbow and Falcolt were racing, and I absolutely loved your characterization of him! Your description of the race was near flawless, and the word choice was amazing. The pacing was great as well, and while in hindsight it doesn't seem like much has happened in this chapter, it's a good thing. Never want to rush, of course.
There were a few typos/errors I found as I read through, however. For instance...
I think you meant to put "pegasi" there.
Missing an "o" there, if you're calling her our hero.
Anyway, this was a really enjoyable chapter and I loved every second of it! I can't wait to see what happens between these two later on, and I really want to know the details of how he showed up in the first place. Great chapter and awesome writing, TP! Lookin' forward to more.
3305350
Ah! Thanks, B.D. One of these days I'll have you do some editing before I post.
So tired. Mind is foggy. Gonna go punch a raccoon now.
3306819
Not the raccoon! Umbrella corp needs them for Zombie training.
____________________________
Good chapter.
reminded me of Hemaeus Mora from skyrim
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS0nM95FbgqIUjevvRjq1Ajm74EQtqQvOOD233VPhd5nJGQY6eGLw:25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mejad1W1EE1r4ilnmo1_500.gif