• Member Since 29th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen April 11th

Learn for Life


Comments ( 12 )

Nicely written. There were consistent errors here and there—most of them minor, and some of them just a personal preference—but overall, very well done.

Just one thing that stuck out to me:

Tank, enthused by her laughter and Owlowiscious’s hooting, Tank leaned forward and joined them on a descent towards the river.

Remove the second "Tank".
There were many more of the same strain, but I'm a little tired and lazy at the moment. Read through it, you might notice them better.

3195069 Fixed. Thank you for pointing that out to me.

3195104
Also, another thing. There were a few points in the story that deserved some sort of break, like a horizontal line, some stars, etc. Not that it was rushed, but it would benefit the story.
Usually, and especially in this case, it would be applied for sudden changes in surroundings/location.

That was a funny story
Thank for writing it.

Good luck best wishes

I have to admit, I do love the idea of a couple of pets sneaking out at night. (Do Dash and Twi know about this? And would it matter if they did?)

But it really comes to life when Luna joins in: we seldom seem to catch her being downright exuberant. "Now, fly off into the night, and let peace find you at the end of your journey!" That makes up for a whole lot of "Hello, everypony. Did I miss anything?"

Thumb up earned, and then some.

I'll be reading this a little later, my friend. Looks interesting.

Very sweet fun. I didn't ever really get the impression that Owlicious wasn't at peace but that is at most a minor quibble.

I'm always hesitant about reading slice of life stories, since many of them seem to suffer from not actually having any substance, but I definitely did not get that feeling while reading this story.

A very sweet story.

4627920 Thank you very much! I am glad that I was able to entertain you. :twilightsmile:

That was calming and peaceful - nice work:twilightsmile:. Also, owles don't peck - they swallow things whole, though I can see why they would leave that out of canon.

6637283 I had no idea about that. Thanks for the info, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. This was a lot of fun to write.

Sorry for getting to this late; moving and whatnot, gotta be ready.

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