Minuteman's life was as normal as any high schooler's life. He had his homework and schoolwork, his friends, and — most importantly, to him — his crushes. However, when his soldier uncle Quick Scope takes him to get his first car, there's more than meets the eye going on. Soon, Minuteman is sucked into a war between the Autobots and the Decepticons, racing to find the AllSpark before the other side.
Transformers crossover with Equestria Girls. There are going to be some Autobots and/or Decepticons that aren't actually from the series, as well as ones from the past.
Thanks to this guy for being my proofreader/editor/whatever the fuck it's called.
Chapters (4)
Well this is splendid.
3196224 Any constructive criticism or whatever?
EDIT: Sorry if I come off as abrasive, I'm not good at this asking for help thing,
Pretty good. You get a mustache!
Okay. . . I write TF/MLP stuff too, and I can feel my inner critic screaming, so. . .apologies in advance if I come across as too harsh.
1) You said at the start that this wouldn't be a straight re-hash of the movie film. Aside from the conversation with Minuteman's dad, and him having a gun so far, it feels. . . like a straight re-hash. You might want to include a new scene or some attention-getting foreshadowing soon, or people are gonna get real turned off.
2) You mention Frenzy turning into Sunset's phone. Someone who's never seen the movie before will not have any idea what this means, and you should really try to make your writing like the person has no idea about the subject. (I don't mean, treat them like an idiot, but still, some things need explaining.)
3) There is no in-story reason why we're being told the names of the Autobot cars in the narration. There was a very sound principle in, um, like this guide or something. . . but paraphrased, it said "if the characters in the scene (The air force, Apple Bloom, the Drunkards) don't know the name of the new character (the Autobots), then there's no reason the narration should know either."
3517863 I was actually going to change quite a lot leading up to the battle downtown (which would have been almost completely different), but the story's currently collecting dust. I tried to not make it a re-hash, but it ended up like that anyways, so that' sine of the main reasons why I quit at it. Too much bad leading up to the good.
3531658
You know, Notramjet and I are both TF/P authors, and we're both rebooting fics because we felt them . . . unsatisfactory. Why don't you do that? Brainstorm a little!