Fallout : Equestria - New Roam Innovatus

by Delvius

Chapter VIII - Discordance

Chapter VIII
Discordance
"The world is not dialectical -- it is sworn to extremes, not to equilibrium; it is sworn to radical antagonism, not to reconciliation or synthesis. This is also the principle of evil."

It was... I-I think around four, in the afternoon that is... I couldn't really be sure. Time was hard to tell underground. I was trusting the little watch on my wrist, a thing Tavish had given me sometime back. And if it really was four, then it must've been nice and warm up there on the surface... not like in the tunnels, cold and damp and stuffy. A forest-camo hoodie Tavish had given me along with the watch helped against the cold, though.

So... yeah, it was four. People were starting to get really tense and impatient. And you know, I was sitting right with them, so I could really tell. It wasn't even an hour before when that really big, scary minotaur stomped by, one of the knights on his shoulder. A few moments after that and suddenly there was so much shouting, screaming. So much that I had to cover my ears and shut my eyes, my breathing turning panicked as people started to question and talk all around me. I... well, I whimpered and quietly asked the nearest people to calm down; everything was going to be fine, I said. Not that they heard me, though...

Finally, it came. The intercom sounded again, after the noise from the Committee chamber died down. Imperius was speaking, his voice booming terrifyingly.

"Citizens of Spiderhole, and fellows from Arachna," he started, and quickly everyone around me quieted. I smiled softly, crookedly, liking the sudden quiet. Then I cringed as the praetorian pony continued, sounding tense and irritated, "It has been one-hundred years since Spiderhole became a slaver hub. One-hundred years since people were taken from the surface and made to toil in caves, the lowest of them scratching a living off rocks. But that is over now, you hear? The Committee is... neutralized; its slavers, our oppressors, dead -- and let it be clear now that any who continue their work in any way shall be similarly dealt with. Many have died for it, and the freedom gained today is fickle. Thus I will NOT tolerate any incursions, and I will NOT entertain any debate on the matter. This freedom was hard-fought, but it is finally ours. Celebration is ill-advised, however. As... joyous... an occasion as today is, there is much yet to be done. And you all would be wise to follow our instructions; the fate of Spiderhole's efforts to reforge its reputation hangs on your choices. Do not abuse your freedom. Now merely wait, and if things go smoothly all our lives will be as they should. Imperius out."

I cringed as everyone started talking again. Lots of them let out cries of joy, others cheering. A few looked disturbed, maybe even... sad? Oh, but I was glad! Very glad, yes... most of these people had been here for years, working so hard and were rewarded only with enslavement. I was happy that they were finally free, honest!

... but it, erm... didn't change the fact that their noise made me feel out of place. I wasn't like them; I couldn't feel involved in their emotion. I hadn't been forced into labor, hadn't been used by masters for their own wants. Tavish, he... he spared me from that. When I fell from that trapdoor and fell into Spiderhole two months before, he took me in. Sheltered me, gave me a home. And while at first I was terrified he'd only done that so he could have authority over me, it wasn't like that. He'd been kind, like the brother I never had but always wanted. He even kept being nice despite all the whispers people were saying behind his back, some even coming from his own knights. I heard them at night, sometimes -- talking, speculating, making jokes about what he was 'doing' with me. The things they said were so awful, the kinds of things the slavers would've done. I always had nightmares those nights, and I hated that I had such good ears to hear them with.

So I just sat quietly, keeping to myself until the instructions Imperius spoke about came. I assumed that he'd give them himself after a while, maybe after all of the knights and praetorians and hoplites settled themselves. They must've been so tired after doing so much, so I'd have understood if they took a while.

When the first of them came out, though, they didn't come out to give instructions. The four praetorians rushing out of the cave were frantic, looking absolutely worried as they approached. A large white cloth was tied by its four corners to each of them as they cantered by, a body on the cloth. I shut my eyes, wishing I'd done it soon enough to not see the dismembered zebra. When they were gone, I opened them again... only to see more of the Roaman soldiers pass by, always in groups of four, always with a cloth between them. I shuddered and wormed my way deeper into the sitting crowd, hoping to get distance from the... sights.

Then I smiled and let out a breath, relieved to see Tavish as he trotted out. He had his winged knight's helmet on, and was telling another group of four knights to hurry along. He seemed really urgent about this one, though -- one of the armored zebras even had the golden eagle thing I saw Goldwreath going in with! Suddenly I lost my breath. My eyes were on the white cloth between them as they cantered by, and I was... I... I couldn't look away as they passed, carrying the red pegasus with them. My eyes widened, and I edged close as they took him away.

"Hurry now, get them to the medical ward!" Tavish ordered, pointing towards Arachna. He stood close enough to the edge of the crowd that he was within hoof's reach. "Caridin! Make sure Goldwreath gets treated for that concussion."

"Yes, my lord!" Caridin replied. Caridin had been one of the nicer knights... and by that I mean he was one of those who didn't try to talk to me. I appreciated that he was considerate enough to not try to... well, hit on me. At least, I think the knights who tried talking to me tried to hit on me...

"And get your leg checked, too. It's almost come off," Tavish said, then turned to look back at the Committee chamber's entrance with worry. I reached out to touch him on the shoulder, but then the people near him inched away, maybe for discomfort at having him so close... I'm not sure. And to avoid bumping into them, I had to move back, too. With the widened space between him and me, the idea of getting him to notice me suddenly seemed so much more daunting... if I did anything, everyone would see me talking to him, and then they'd... stare, and... wonder...

I felt so nervous I wanted to crawl into the dirt and hide.

So I sat there, keeping quiet as he groaned in frustration, furiously tapping the brow of his helmet. He seemed in pain, and I felt my heart falter a bit. I wanted to stand up and tell him I was glad that they'd won, glad that he was alright, but... but I couldn't. And I hated myself for not being able to. Eventually he shook his head and turned, hurriedly trotting after Caridin and the others carrying Goldwreath away.

It was a blessing that more of the Roaman soldiers came out, these ones alright. They started giving instructions, and people started to get up and leave to follow them. It gave me an excuse to get up too, and I galloped down the cavern to catch up with Tavish.

***Roama Victrix***

Back in Arachna, things were... a mess. Ponies and zebras were everywhere, rushing to clear enough space to put the wounded in. The medical ward that Tavish spoke of, well... it wasn't big enough for all the hurt people to fit in. So now the injured were all over. Despite the fact that they were all too hurt to care for my presence, I still couldn't find it in me to feel... secure. I was scared that one of the medical people might ask me to get something, or to help them... and I don't think I could have if they did.

Staring forward, trying to block out every noise and sight, I searched for Tavish. I found him kneeling near some of his knights, comforting them as they sat and covered their eyes with... with filthy, bloodied cloths. I swallowed and approached, reeling slightly from the coppery scent of blood. I scratched at my leg, trying to say something, but then shutting up. Maybe now wasn't the best time...

"Now you get those eyes checked and grab some rest," Tavish told the knights. They nodded, one of them coughing out blood. Tavish sighed and turned around, standing. I went rigid as he saw me.

"Myst? Ah, Myst!" He beamed, letting out a breath as he slumped slightly. He looked at me standing there, unsure of whether to smile or to cringe or to step back, and he smiled. Me, I didn't smile... oh, but I was glad -- honest! It's just that everything seemed... seemed like such a mess, with so many people hurt. It didn't feel right to smile when everything was so bad...

"Erm... Hi," I said lamely, and then wanted to take my words back. Now people were looking. Oh, they were looking. Those with energy left in them glanced my way. They were wondering. They were listening. Watching. They'd heard my words, my really lousy words. They were judging me, I just knew it!

Wanting to just run and hide, I stuttered, "I, uh... j-just wanted to make sure you were okay after... that." I couldn't meet his eyes, and even as I looked away I avoided everyone else's eyes too. I couldn't take the way they were looking at me. Some were frowning, skeptical; others seemed wistful, like they wished I was talking to them. Could they have wanted that? Could they have wanted that I was giving them my concern instead of Tavish? After all, he was alright, and they weren't... oh, but I couldn't even talk to them. I didn't really know anyone else in all of Spiderhole aside from Tavish. I couldn't feel secure around anyone else, too. Just being in this place with them all was making my skin crawl and my mane stand on end.

Then all my attention focused as Tavish put a hoof to my chin and gently directed my face to his. Everyone saw that, I was sure of it. But for just a moment I didn't care as I sought solace in his warm, caring gaze. "Girl, you're stuttering again. You don't need to stutter around me, remember? Because you don't have to talk for me to understand. I know your body language. Had you just gotten me to see you and smile, I'd have known your intent immediately. Anyone who thinks for a moment can understand you, and though not many people stop to think in our hectic times... well, I'm one of them. So you understand? You needing to do this was completely unnecessary... but quite brave. I'm proud of you."

I felt myself blushing... a lot. So much. Maybe too much. Compliments of any sort always got to me, no matter the words used or the situation given. So to hear that from him, that I had managed to get over a fear of mine even for just a bit? That really did mean a lot. Again I couldn't meet his eyes, but this time out of a sense of pride and satisfaction that I didn't want to let anyone see.

Then a thought asserted itself that had me look right back at him. "Well... thank you," I replied, glad. "But I didn't come here just to tell you how relieved I am that you're okay..." That got his attention, and he raised his brows. All my newfound pride drained, replaced with familiar hesitation. "I, erm... also came to see what happened with, well... Goldwreath. Is... he okay?"

Asking that question was the hardest thing I'd done in days. I never liked to ask anything because I didn't want to seem annoying or too curious... though there were lots of things I was curious about. So, just... why was I even asking then, right? I didn't really know him... I only knew his name, and for less than two full days at that. Maybe because he'd been... nice? He hadn't prodded or asked me anything; he hadn't forced me into uncomfortable situations... and I kinda liked that. The most he'd let off were glances at me, much less creepy than all like the stuff some of the Arachnians said. I appreciated that... and though he didn't seem like a quiet stallion, he was considerate. He didn't ever look like he was judging me when he glanced my way. In fact, when I caught him looking once, he seemed flustered. Embarrassed... just like I'd be if someone caught me looking for whatever reason.

People like Tavish, Imperius, and Onosander... they were confident. They were leaders, capable of making others follow them because they were good examples for... something. They could look others in the eye and smile, and introduce themselves without fear. I couldn't do any of that. I couldn't even ask a person for the tiniest of directions even if my life depended on it... which had been made really clear to me two months ago. I was... just... incapable. Incapable and scared of anything that had any ability to dislike me, and too weak to do anything in my own defense.

But then there was Goldwreath, a stallion with the same determined eyes and unafraid voice as any other... and he'd not only been considerate of someone like me, but had also shown self-consciousness and embarrassment when I caught him looking. Any other person would have snorted and rolled their eyes, maybe brush me off... but why not him? In fact, what made him look at me at all? I always thought the knights liked to say those things just to make me uncomfortable, so that I'd stay away from them, because they didn't like me. I felt like sport to them, something to be played around with for plain amusement. I wasn't anything special... so why did he look at me like I was?

I couldn't know for sure... but my extremely curious self wanted to know. It needed to know, and wouldn't rest until it found out more about Goldwreath, the stallion that was... kinda like me, yet not like me. A mix. Someone who could maybe understand. Someone who could be a... a friend.

"... Myst? Hey... Myst," Tavish said gently, softly. I blinked, realizing I'd blanked out for a moment there. "Are... you okay?"

I stuttered, "Er, y-yes. Sorry, I, um... I don't know. I was just thinking about something, then... I lost myself." As a tiny little joke to try to lift some of my embarrassment, I suggested, "Maybe its my head's way of dealing with asking strange questions? Eheh... heh... hehe..." I chuckled brokenly like that for a few moments... admittedly not a smart thing to do. I grinned sheepishly and darted my eyes around.

He just looked at me strangely for a second. "Er... maybe? But anyway, I was trying to tell you that Goldwreath's okay. I offered to take you to him if you're really concerned, seeing as I'm heading over to see him myself, but then you faded off like that. So how about it? You want to see him?"

I meekly nodded, feeling like any moment people would snicker and mutter things about me. Maybe those who were paying attention to me did... but everything around us was so busy, I couldn't tell.

He nodded. "Alright, Myst. Come on then."

As we trotted, he shook his head and murmured, "So they both blank out when they think, huh? Only two people in the world I know that do that..."

***Roama Victrix***

"He seems fine, m'lord. No major signs of concussion, which is a blessing. A few hours of bedrest and he should be up and about."

I let out a breath of relief, taking the medic's words to heart. While I didn't really know Goldwreath much, the news was very welcome. How could I even try to understand him if he were dead, right? But it's not like I was too worried about that, or that I had any reason to be... because in the end, it really was just curiosity driving me to this. Having it unsatisfied would be disappointing at most, I guess. Oh, and Goldwreath would be dead too! Eheh, there was that... and that would be a bad thing...

So, yeah, disappointing... but the thing was that I didn't want to be disappointed. I... I was excited to be curious! This curiosity, it was something I'd barely ever indulged before... and it felt so good. It helped me do things I could only imagine doing. Just a while back it'd driven me to seek out Tavish, working subtly in my head towards another goal. It was scary, yeah, but it gave me hope. Hope that, if... if maybe, if it were just strong enough, I could be like everyone else. I could question and talk with people, walk around near others, feel like a part of a community -- involved in life -- because I was curious. Because I wanted to experience things just like others could. All my life I wanted that... wanted to do away with my insecurities and just be like others.

I was wrong. Having it unsatisfied wouldn't result in just disappointment at most. It would lead to loosing a rare opportunity to... to feel better about myself. This curiosity, it was the only thing in recent memory that'd made me feel brave enough to do anything. I didn't want to lose it, didn't want to have another door shut in my face... I-I couldn't take more of that. I needed this... I really did.

My hopes had risen because of this strange stallion; he had, if indirectly, given me a rare shot at trying to break free of myself. So I was going to figure him out, even if it was the last thing I'd do. For my own sake, I needed to. And if... if he didn't find me odd or annoying for trying, maybe he'd take me as a friend... I wouldn't mind that, even if it were just for a day.

Please don't think I was selfish. I wasn't! Or... or at least I wanted to believe I wasn't. I... I just needed to know what it was like to live a life, to not be scared... this was my chance. I couldn't just let it slip... I'd let too many days pass by in misery to forgive myself I did. Please understand...

...

I, uh... gah, stop it Myst. K-keep it together... whoo, okay... okay. Sorry if I'm... if I'm getting off topic. I'll get back to it. You didn't type that down, did you...?

Well... I guess it doesn't really matter if you did. Everyone must know about me by now, so it's not like I'm a mystery anymore. I still can't tell if I feel glad or terrified at that. But anyway...

...

"Very good, Murdoc," Tavish replied, smiling appreciatively as he looked at Goldwreath laying in a bed, armor stripped off. He then looked around at other injured knights and praetorians similarly treated and put to rest, then back to the medic. "Very good indeed. Couldn't have been easy with the sudden influx of patients."

"Aaah, not that hard," Murdoc replied with an ease and confidence I wish I had. "Most had injuries in the same category. Made treating them a rerun of the same procedure. Mostly just minor burns and blunt traumas. They'll be fine." He then noticed me paying particular attention to the red pegasus, and I blushed and looked away. "What, him? Broken wings and mild cranial shock, if you're wondering. I tried to straighten out the wings, but they'll still take time. Swelling scalp'll mend quickly enough. Why, you know him, Myst?"

My eyes widened. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised he knew my name... word was that I was Tavish's 'personal serf', after all... but I didn't like that title. I cleared my throat as they both eyed me. For a few moments I just looked around the cramped room, trying to think of something to say that didn't make me seem... well, anything like I actually was: desperate, scared, and embarrassed. Really, as much as doing all this was a way to try to help myself, parts of me still insisted I stop and continue living like I usually did -- quiet; cautious; fearful. I had never gotten into much trouble with those, but... I never really felt like I was living, either.

Eventually the words came to me. "Well, I only know him by name, too," I replied softly. "But... but I hear he's part of the reason all these people have their freedom again. I know that he went through a lot of trouble down here, and that all he wanted was to rescue his friends and then leave... or so I heard. But then he went the extra mile to fix our problems, too." I shuddered, then swallowed, "Everyone's busy now. There's lots of work to do... and I thought people might forget to thank him and everyone else that sacrificed for us." I looked around at the other injured, realizing that what started out as an alibi had turned into something genuine.

"So..." I finished, "I... thought... since I'm not really going to be busy, I'd... stay and, well... thank them. When they each wake up."

Oh, the looks they gave me. It must've sounded silly to them... and standing there, in the tense silence of the room, it was starting to seem really silly to me, too. I could feel my sincere desire to want to thank them each waning with every second. I felt like I'd made a horrible mistake.

"Well," Murdoc smiled, "I don't see why not. These boys'll sure appreciate it. And hell, if you're gonna watch over them as they wake up and play nurse for just a little while, it sure would give me time to check on the others. I think it's a great idea. You, lord Tavish? She's your serf, so what you say goes."

My eyes darted to Tavish, and I choked down a nervous whimper as I saw him eyeing me thoughtfully. "Are you sure that's what you want, Myst? If you do this, you'll be responsible for them immediately following their awakening. You'll have to give them water, keep them feeling glad and appreciated..." He glanced around the room. "All eight of them. I won't be here to help you, so only if you think you're up for it. This isn't being forced on you." With a concerned frown he added, quietly, "Gods know they could use some care and attention. But if they start to make you... uncomfortable... you are free to leave. Understand?"

I nodded, swallowing. I understood completely; these were some of the same stallions that'd said those horrible things, and I was going to be alone with them. I mean, I didn't think I was in any real danger... but it was still a risk. One that I felt I had to take to prove to myself I could do... anything anyone else could.

Tavish gave a single, slow nod, looking at me strangely the whole while. "Alright then..." he drawled, turning away, his eyes still on me. While I'd always appreciated how Tavish never judged me, this time I felt like I'd acted strangely enough to warrant just a little scrutiny. I sure was acting differently from how I usually was... and in such a short time, too. So even from him, I guess some confusion had to come. "I'll see you later, Myst," he said with a faint smile, before looking around at the room one more time. Then he left, Murdoc right behind as the door shut close.

I swallowed and peeked around, then found the nearest chair and went over to it. A few hours before Goldwreath woke up, Murdoc said. Well... not a problem. Even with no books or anything, I could keep myself busy. Eheh, I guess one good thing about being an introvert was being able to amuse myself for hours with just my own thoughts. Or lack of thoughts, even. Really, waiting wasn't a problem for me. At least, not as long as the quiet lasted...

Then one of the nearby knights groaned and shifted in bed, his breathing deepening as he clutched at his foreleg. I frowned. "Well... there goes hours of calm," I muttered disappointedly, and with a bracing breath I stood and approached.

Forcing on a smile as one of his eyes peeked open, I said as warmly as I could, "H-hey there. Your leg hurts? Well, just, er... relax, and I'll see if I can't give it a massage..."

That's what I said. And I did manage to keep it together, at least for a while. But as more of them woke up, I realized I had gotten myself into way more trouble than I thought. Gah, I wanted to sneak out and pretend I'd never volunteered at all! And yet I stayed. As the minutes dragged on, the fear and anxiety... numbed. As the smiles turned warmer and more sincere, I saw those people differently. Now they weren't just a bunch of... of really perverted zebras and ponies. They had been brave, selfless... and they could be nice and kind, too. Nice... and kind... and friendly. Why, I could only have imagined seeing them so differently if I hadn't taken this risk.

And then, as I tended to them, a thought came to me. Maybe, just maybe, their image of me as a lowly little servant girl had changed, too? Even if I was just that at the time, I had hope. Hope enough to keep myself in it, even as the presence of several chattering, laughing people seemed to me like frightful screams to be ran away from. But I tried not to be afraid. I... I could do this. And the more I just told myself that, the quicker I realized that I actually liked doing this! This wasn't a chore anymore... no, I was talking to people now, keeping them glad and smiling. And it... it felt good. Better than I could've imagined.

Finally, the moment I waited for came. Over in his own bed, the red pegasus stirred. I excused myself, and with an eager smile, I approached...

***Roama Victrix***

"Hi there. You look kinda thirsty, so here's some water," I said, smiling as I held a hoof up. Goldwreath spent half a moment blinking, getting his bearings on his surroundings as he looked around. Finally his eyes met mine, and they widened. I thought I heard him gasp.

"Myst?" he asked, sounding disbelieving. "I... where am I? I was in the battle, and... the soldiers, they were following me as I ascended the Committee's fortress. And... now I'm here?"

Speaking to him was... kinda strange. It shouldn't have been different from talking to anyone else -- talking to others at all was... awkward at best, nerve-racking and heart-stopping at worst. But hearing his voice didn't put me off for some reason. Maybe it was the hours of conversation I had beforehoof, but something about him just... comforted me.

I sat down next to his bed, setting the water down. "You're at Arachna's medical ward," I told him. "I... I don't know what happened during the battle, or what happened to you. But you got hurt, just like all these others." His golden eyes glanced to the others in the room, seeming to take in their injuries. "I've... well, I've been taking care of you all for the past few hours..." I muttered, smiling bashfully and going a little red. The combination of embarrassment and the strange impulse to tell him what I'd done made me feel... odd, kind of quirky. Heh, just being near him made me want to giggle!

His eyes widened even more than before. "You've been watching over me-- I-I mean... over us?" he asked, stuttering.

"Aye," one of the knights replied before I could, making me frown in disappointment at not being able to tell him myself. Though the knight's neck was casted and two of his legs were bandaged, he still made the effort to lay on his side to look at us. "This fine mare here's been tending to us like an angel, right boys? Couldn't have asked for a better welcome after coming back to consciousness."

The chorus of agreement and further compliments made me go even redder, and I just barely managed to thank them.

Goldwreath seemed to think on that. Then a smile broke onto his face, and I felt my legs go weak when he looked right at me. Wow... he sure was handsome... "Well, thank you, Myst. I really appreciate what you did; I'm sure we all do. Yeah, we'd have woken up and been fine, given that we're all perky right now. But I guess we'd have felt a lot more pain and a lot more morose than if you hadn't done this."

All that said, he just smiled and averted his eyes, looking around at random things -- anywhere that wasn't me, I noticed. I frowned, wondering if maybe I'd made him uncomfortable. Maybe I was sitting too close? I inched away, and immediately he looked back at me. He seemed confused, brows furrowed as he took in the minute distance between us. Then, for no apparent reason, he gave a little chuckle and hurriedly grabbed the water I'd placed on the ground and drank it. When he finished, he just laid there, holding the cup. I was starting to get confused, but the more I looked right at him the more he seemed to look away from me. Even I could feel the awkwardness as the seconds passed by. I noticed he was sweating.

He cleared his throat. "So, Myst..." he started, and I perked up.

But then the door opened. Outside noise and light filled the room. Everyone looked over at a knight standing under the doorway, his body covered head to hoof in steel plate. His eyes -- indigo, a color I'd never seen in eyes before -- peered through his helmet's visor with a kind of... intensity, almost like heat. Everyone suddenly seemed uncomfortable. All emotion drained from me, except for... regret, and shame. Regret for... for some things I'd done in the past. Things I'd never answered for. Like when I'd once taken from a merchant when he wasn't looking; I couldn't help it at the time, I... I hadn't eaten in days. And when I once had to tell a poor zebra I had no money to share, even though I did... And so many other things, things so far back in my life and so small and insignificant I wouldn't have remembered them even if they'd happened just yesterday. Every wrong I'd ever done, however small, came crashing back to me... and I suddenly felt so heavy-hearted I wanted to cry, hoping my tears could somehow correct those mistakes.

The knight under the doorway looked us over. I cringed as his sight rolled over me. Unlike Tavish or Goldwreath's stares, this one's was just full of judgement. I felt like a criminal -- filthy, disgusting to look at. My already glistening eyes began to form actual tears of fright as those horrible, burning indigo irises bore into me. They narrowed, and all I could do was choke back a sob and turn away, feeling ashamed that I couldn't bear a simple look even after all I'd accomplished. I sniffed, hugging myself. In one moment, all of my progress, all my confidence... shattered...

That horrible judging glare only wavered when the knight's attention was drawn elsewhere. Eventually, he focused on each other individual in the room. The same people who'd been cheery a while ago were suddenly silent. One by one, they all seemed to grow tired, sleepy -- and eventually they did go to sleep, if uneasily. It seemed like they didn't actually want to, but if they were experiencing the same thing I was... I couldn't blame if it meant they could escape it. I'd taken it upon myself to care for them, so a tiny part of me was glad that they were at least trying to take care of themselves.

Unfortunately, that left me with trying to deal with this... this really scary guy.

When I finally pulled myself together, I stood. "Um... e-excuse me, sir..." I stammered, trying to find words. "You're kind of disturbing a... a really delicate recovery process. These people need rest, and if not that, they need a good mood. And no offence, but, erm... you're kinda not helping with either."

"Silence, mere mortal!" he growled, making me cringe back in fright. He shook his head in irritation. "This... motley excuse of communication Vox Populi has to endure to pursue his goal vexes him, and you would do well to abide by his authority. For that one has deprived Justice of its satisfaction, and as the hand of Order 'tis this instance's task to give due reparation."

"Erm... huh?"

"Gah, and your confusion!" he rebuked. "So typical of agents of Chaos to forget the proper manner with which to address the other fundamental forces. Well, it matters not -- you matter not. Now, you conglomerate manifestation of instances of Awkward and Anxiety, Vox Populi orders you to vacate the premises. This... breeder of Chaos here must be rectified before his actions spread further havoc and invoke such abominations as misguided instances of Bravery and Progress."

... okay, there was an insult or two in there, somewhere... but honestly, listening to him was both giving me a headache and really confusing me. Maybe I hadn't talked to enough people in the past to know otherwise, but those I had managed to talk to weren't so... crazy. In fact there was only one part of all that that I thought I understood, and I didn't like it one bit.

"You're... going to 'rectify' Goldwreath?" I asked, confused. I glanced over my shoulder at the pegasus and saw him just like the others: asleep, or so it seemed. His eyes seemed to move a lot, though... like he was having a dream. And from the tension in his features, it couldn't have been a good one.

Gingerly, I looked back to the knight. "That's... gee, wow. Sir, are you... okay? You're not drugged, are you?" His eyes blazed with disgust, and I found myself stuttering, "I-I mean, not all drugs are bad, but maybe you've had too much of one... cause, you know, you're talking about really strange stuff, and you sound really odd, and... well..."

"Pointless chatter!" he finally said, and then he yanked me up and dragged me out the door. I tried to free myself, I really did. But between angering someone who already seemed insane and dangerous and actually hurting him... not that I could have found it in me to actually hurt him... there really wasn't a lot I could actually do. I didn't scream for help, nor did I try to stop the door from closing and locking in my face. I didn't because... well...

"What the hell did you do to piss that guy off?" someone nearby asked. I turned and looked into the scornful eyes of a hoplite, hard at work carrying boxes of medical supplies down the hall. "You clearly did something. Cut him some slack! The knights were at the forefront of the attack. The least they need now is someone making life hard for them."

Tears swelled up to my eyes as his scolding features faced me down. My throat tightened and turned sore as I muffled my sobs. In shame, I turned away. I couldn't face him, nor any of the nearby others who saw me with the same contempt and irritation. I couldn't justify myself, not with their scorn weighing on me and freezing my thoughts in a terrified mush. They'd just scold and judge me more if I tried to explain myself -- so I didn't even attempt to, and hated myself for not trying. But what could I have done? I could act and smile if others were nice. I could have hope that maybe I'd finally found some people who were kind and generous enough to spend their time with me, and actually like doing so.

But never if anyone didn't like me. No matter what I was trying to do, being near someone who showed even a hint of annoyance killed whatever tiny dream I was hoping to make true. I lived off of other people's opinions. I needed them to be good so that I could have more opportunities to... to make attempts! Attempts at living normally. Because in those attempts, I hoped to find something that could finally help me cast off my fears. That could finally show me that there was something in life worth letting myself get hurt and ridiculed over. Those attempts, they were like my little expeditions into unknown places. Without them, I... I had nothing. If I couldn't have my attempts, then I couldn't find that something I needed. And without that, I was doomed to live always as... well, as me. Scared and worthless. I didn't want to be that... but I didn't know how to be anything else.

The hoplite snorted and trotted off. A few others stayed... and they actually went out of their way just to look at me like I was filth. Maybe I was. I mean... I was a needy, troublesome mare. My actions always caused others grief because I just wouldn't stop chasing my hopes. Every time I failed, I always tried again, at some point... no matter how bad it'd been. My entire existence revolved around others, the very same people I was scared to death of. They ignored me if I did nothing; they came to dislike me if I tried anything. Every moment of my life felt like a tug of war between two choices: I could either cower in silence, or try and be brave. Both had their consequences, but I couldn't decide whether it was the maddening silence of reclusion or the heartache of ridicule that was worse... and in my own stupid indecision, I'd been forced to experience both in an endless rut. That was my life, pretty much... my own hell, with me always...

I wished I'd never done this. I wish I'd never taken an interest in Goldwreath and just restrained myself. But... crazy thing is, I knew that if I'd done that, I'd have wished I'd taken the risk, instead. Always, always, I was locked in a conflict in my own head, and it was slowly driving me insane. I just knew it was. But that was why I needed to figure out others so badly. That was why I needed to learn their secrets. If I didn't, I was gone. I'd... I'd just off myself. Insanity was a whole new level of pain I didn't want to deal with. This agony was only bearable because there were bits of tantalizing hope in it... but I'd seen what insane people became. Sitting in corners, laughing to themselves and taking in their own filth... avoided by all, repairable by none. They were totally broken, and I wasn't. There was still hope for me, there was still time. I still had a chance!

As I faced the wall and told myself I still had that chance, I smiled. Then, quietly, I laughed in broken relief. And I kept laughing... oh, I did. I kept laughing even as tears broke out onto my face and people murmured behind my back. Hah! I don't care what you have to say! Hah... hah, I still have a chance! I could still do this! I wasn't insane yet!

I... wasn't... insane... hah, n-not yet... not yet...

***Roama Victrix***

I calmed down eventually. Cleared my head. All those thoughts, they were... well, I'd had them before. If I wasn't fussing over what to do or how to do it, or how to do nothing and keep myself out of trouble, I was thinking those things -- like during most nights. I'd stay awake for hours... then I'd cry myself to sleep, tearing at the sheets or clawing at the dirt as I begged for something to give me answers... things like that. No answers ever came, sure, but repeatedly pleading out loud was a nice way of tiring myself out and get some sleep. I usually had dreamless sleeps, which was good. That oblivion between waking hours was the one relief I could afford myself almost at a will.

Now, at that point -- about an hour after I got kicked out -- I was passing the time by looking at my little watch. It was one of few entertainments I could give myself to watch those tiny arms spin around, ticking softly as they went. I thought of nothing as I focused on enjoying my one little bit of fun. I didn't think of crazy, drugged knights evicting me from a room and crashing on the beds of my patients (cause that's what I eventually settled on regarding the knight: that he was drugged); I didn't think of the welfare of the people I was supposed to be taking care of... and I know that sounds really selfish, but there was nothing I could do about it. No one would believe me if I tried to tell them what was going on, so the entire situation was essentially out of my hooves. I could have taken a chance and actually tried, sure, but... I'd already gone through the whole emotional rollercoaster. Riding it again so soon would be so tiring I'd actually have fallen asleep.

But looking at a watch gets boring eventually. Putting my hoof down, I summoned up the courage to look around. To my relief, nobody seemed to care about what'd happened an hour ago, too. Which meant I could actually move around without fearing for my hide. I'd gotten tired of the corner a while back, so now I moved just a bit and rested against a bunch of heavy crates right beside the door. From there, I tried to listen to any noise coming from inside. Now, my ears were pretty good... sometimes torturously so... and still I didn't hear anything inside. That reinforced my theory that the possibly drugged knight had crashed the moment he'd gotten rid of me (though I did wonder why he'd only make the effort to remove one person from his withdrawal zone, and not the others). I guessed all there was to do was wait for Tavish and tell him what'd happened; surely then something could be done about it. In the meantime, though... what to do?

I wasn't going to talk to anyone, that was for sure. They were all busy, marching around hurriedly or stacking up crates nearby. And I can't stress how much I didn't want to... not so soon after my little tantrum, anyway. I supposed I could just watch them... but then I might've come off as creepy. Come to think of it, anything I could do at all would have some potential consequence. In disappointment and boredom, I settled on just continuing to sit down. Nobody had minded me for the past hour for doing that.

But as I sat there staring at the floor, a movement caught my eye. It wasn't like the fluid and systematic motion of the busy Roamans; this movement was jerky, abrupt. Focusing on its source, I noticed a mare -- a zebra dressed in the exotic garb and leather barding of one of the many tribes recreated in Spiderhole. In all ways, she seemed normal... except for the way she moved. Her legs were trembling, shaking uncontrollably as she fumbled around and bumping into people. In all her stumbling. Everyone got mad at her, just like they'd gotten mad at me. My heart went out to her.

She eventually stumbled all the way to where I was. But her front legs flopped into each other, and with a yelp that forced me off my flanks she crashed face-first into the solid metal floor. Then she lay still. I rushed to her side even as a few of the more considerate people nearby stood up and approached in concern. She groaned as I gently rolled her onto her back, her muzzle bloodied, and I balked as I saw the same indigo irises that knight had. Only this time the eyes they were in were soft and confused... nothing at all like that horrible scornful glare.

"Oh... oh my," I gasped, frantically looking around for something to clean her up with. A knight stepped over and bit off the sleeve of his tunic, then knelt and carefully soaked up her blood. Seeing it as taken care of, the others returned to their work, muttering and shaking their heads. But me, I sat there and waited until I was sure the mare was alright.

"There," the knight said, huffing as he tied the cloth around her head. He stood, wiping sweat off his brow. "That should stop the bleeding. Now, just... just watch over her, okay?" As he trotted off, he grumbled, "This day's already too damned busy without people hurting themselves. Gods, I hate today..."

"Erm... th-thanks for the..." I tried to say, but he was already too fat away. I sighed. "Thanks for the help." I looked down at the mare laying down on the ground, and I saw her eyes staring up at me. I shifted uncomfortably, swallowing. "You're... you're okay?" I asked.

"I. Do. Do... not. Know?" the mare replied, her words said and ended with such abruptness that even she seemed confused. Her brows furrowed, and she blinked. "Legs. Are... strange. Things. Thinking... like. This. Also. Strange. It... is. Odd."

I didn't show her my unease. She'd only have seen me looking down at her with neutrality. But inside my head, I was reeling. Really? I thought. What drugs are these people on to make them act so strange? Whatever it was, the knight and this mare had taken the same thing. It just wasn't coincidental for two people with the same eye color and tendency to act odd to both come to the same place.

I just shook my head. "You should rest somewhere -- here, in this corner. I don't know what's with your legs, but you're gonna get yourself hurt even more if you keep walking around."

"It. Is. Okay. I... think," she said, already trying to stand back up. Her every movement was uncoordinated. Her muscles seeming to spasm. I tried to get her back down, but she was determined. And in her condition, I dind't want to do anything that could've hurt her. She unsteadily got to her hooves, then stumbled over to the door. She couldn't control her momentum, and ended up throwing her entire upper body right against the metal. I gasped and stepped back as she then repeatedly flopped a hoof at the door.

"Justice. Justice. Let. Me... in," she said in between heavy breaths. "Gah... tired. Don't. Make. This... more. Tiring. For. Me. P-please."

I stood there, frozen in bafflement. Really? Could this day get any weirder?

I looked at her weirdly, then frowned and shook my head. I sat down, wanting to wait it out... but the door actually opened. The mare slid forward and flopped limply onto the floor inside the room. I wanted to tear at my mane as I surged forward to help her -- had this mare no sense of self-preservation at all?! But then I stopped short as the knight appeared in the doorway, and with his forehooves he dragged her away from the door. Then he started to close it.

"W-wait!" I called as I pressed myself right against the door, keeping it open. The knight glared at me through the crack, but I held fast. "Those people in there are my responsibility. I don't know who you are or what you're doing, but I won't be any trouble. Promise!" Quietly, I added, "I won't tell anyone you're doing drugs. Please please please just let me in, and don't harm any of them. P-leeaaassseee!"

But my begging didn't sway him. "Insufferable," he said simply, and drew the door back before throwing it close. I flew backwards, landing hard on my rump. Once again people saw fit to scold me. To them, I was some mare trying to bug one of them as their fellow knight tried to get some rest. But this time I didn't care. I had to know just what was happening with all those people, and why of all places they had to meet in that particular room. There were two of those drugged (?) people in that room now. If they weren't just going to crash, they'd be talking. And that I had to hear.

Pressing my ear right up against the door, I listened. I strained my hearing and focused as hard as I could, and eventually I heard something.

"So... Mercy," came a voice, sounding tired and annoyed. It was the knight -- the guy who'd called himself 'Vox Populi', but was called 'Justice' by that mare... wow, okay. Strangeness abounds, heh. What, were they going by codenames? Was that their way of keeping the members of their gang a secret? Cause I knew that there had been some gangs in Spiderhole. "Why have you come here?"

"I... I came to talk," the mare replied, her words said with more ease this time. "This voice, this way of... of communicating. It's crude. Strange."

"Yes, Vox Populi knows. He suffered a whole night of humiliating self-practice before he grasped the proper usage of this fleshy tongue. But such are the boundaries of the material plane, and of material bodies."

"Vox Populi? Hmm... the... the essence of Roam has that within it. It means 'voice of the people', yes? Have you named this instance that?" asked the mare.

"'Tis this instance's designation, though you may call it a 'name'. Whatever the case, it's a befitting title, reflective of this one's task. But enough of that! Tell my why you are here."

The mare's response was immediate: "Goldwreath."

"WHAT?" the knight yelled, echoing my own mental scream perfectly. "Vox Populi was told by Justice that he alone was on this task! Its virtue was violated, not yours! Kabal was given Mercy, but he evaded Justice! That cannot stand, and thus it is Vox Populi's duty to fix this malleable mortal mind."

"Yes, but..." the mare, 'Mercy', said, "But perhaps it wasn't the wrong choice. Perhaps this Goldwreath being here was right in sparing Kabal."

"Ridiculous! Justice does not expect you lesser spirits of emotion to understand a Fundamental's job, but you see, Justice is equilibrium. Justice is balance. Or at least it was until petty mortal minds concocted stranger iterations of it. If Justice lets such heinous crimes go unanswered, then all it is and all it stands for is forfeit. Take note, Mercy: all existence hangs by a thread. Order can turn to Chaos just as easily as Chaos can turn to order. Without Justice to be Order's arm, every action would have limitless power. And as we know, from power flows Chaos."

There was a short pause, then, "I understand. But... Justice, why must we be bound to the trappings of just one realm of possibility?" Mercy asked, sounding wistful; there was heartache in her voice. "Why can't we act as our nature would have us: as tools for discovery and interaction? That is what we have naturally transitioned into ever since sentience came into being. So... why-..."

"SILENCE!" Justice (or was he Vox Populi?) shouted in outrage. I gasped, my heart stopping for a second as a shot ran through my veins. "Such inquiries are befitting of Liberty, not Mercy! You see? Already Chaos has gripped you and torn you away from your virtue. There are differences between us for good reasons, you insolent instance! If all of us spun around, absorbing the life essences of each other and then having the gal to give ourselves sentience... this happens! Uncertainty of identity; dual instances; randomness of character! All lead to Chaos. If Order is ever to succeed in returning everything to perfect symmetry, then sacrifices must be made! There is no room for usurpation, not now, not ever! Chaos let many abominable things into existence -- its most horrendous act since the discordance. As equilibrium, Justice must undo them all. Only with their demise may the path to paradise be clear again! This war must be fought in the minds and actions of every living being; it must be fought on the material plane's subatomic level, all the way up to its galactic scale; it must be fought across the entirety of time, in every corner of existence, until the cosmos degrades into the limitless cold that once was. And even then, the war must be fought. It will never end, so long as even a shred of uncertainty remains.

"Justice is doing its part, Mercy. This instance, this... Vox Populi, is dedicated to pursuing balance on this world. It appears to be a difficult task, but it matters not. Chaos may hide among the innumerable crevices and nooks it has carved into this shattered creation, but always the burn of Justice will seek it out. Eventually, Order will be restored. And it can begin with this one... Goldwreath, conglomerate manifestation of instances of Valor, Sacrifice, and Obstinacy. When Vox Populi is done with him, no discordance shall be left within his mind for Chaos to feed on; no uncertainty, no chance. Never again will he be able to challenge the totality of Order."

I was sweating now, straining to listen to every single sound there was to be heard. My neck was starting to ache, my head spinning in confusion as I tried to digest all the craziness of what I was hearing. Then I heard a sniffle, followed by a sob.

"Fine," Mercy said, her voice heavy with despair. "Go ahead. If you want to bring back paradise for all your Fundamental equals... go ahead. Really. It's a noble goal." But with a sharp, almost seething tone she warned, "But don't expect me to stand by and just let it happen. Maybe Chaos was the worst thing that ever happened to you and your lofty symmetry, but to us 'lesser beings', it was hope. From the eternal blackness, we were taken in and given names, purpose... identities. We like living. We like exploring this creation and all it has to offer through the unpredictable and curious mortals. So... I'm sorry, but Order does not have my support."

The very door I was pressing my ears against suddenly felt scorching hot. A sizzling stung at my cheek as my sweat evaporated. I yelped and jerked back, clutching at my face.

"You... you speak... of SACRILEGE!" Justice bellowed, and then he roared murderously. Immediately there was terrifying boom, strong enough to vibrate through the solid metal floor. The door flew open and swung on its hinges to slam against the wall; a shockwave came from within, blasting me back to crash into a stack of crates. I felt splinters sink into my flesh, but the wind had been blasted out of me, and I couldn't scream.

People may have brushed me off earlier. They may have thought I'd been the problem. Perhaps they'd wondered what I was listening to, seeing as they probably didn't have ears as good as mine. But beyond any doubt, now they knew something had happened in that room. And I knew beyond any doubt, too... that it wasn't anything related to drugs. This was something worse.

As I lay bleeding in a pile of smashed crates, my eyes looked all over. The same knights and praetorians that'd been focused on their work earlier were now shouting, bunching up near the busted doorway and yelling demands for someone to stand down. 'Drop the sword!' they said. 'Don't do anything stupid!' they said. It was getting harder to hear them though... everything was getting so... very cold...

"I really... really should've just restrained myself..." I murmured, coughing as my vision went dark. My hearing had deteriorated, my limbs turned numb and weak. I had just enough left in me to hear them all collectively gasp in shock and terror at... something. But that was it. That was all I had the strength to perceive as blackness overtook me and I plummeted into unconsciousness.

***Roama Victrix***

I awoke to a lot of discomfort. My back stung, and it didn't help that a rough floor was grinding against it, too. My limbs were numb from inactivity. My neck hurt. I groaned and rolled around for a moment, trying to get a feel of my body again. Then I opened my eyes and blinked away the blurriness until a nearby rock became clear. I winced, a hoof reflexively snapping over onto my back to massage the flesh. I could feel bandages wrapped around my torso beneath my hoodie. I whimpered and lay there for a while, letting the pain recede. Then I gently rolled onto my back and looked straight up.

I instantly regretted it. Three jagged stalactites greeted me, each looming dangerously overhead. A freezing shot of adrenaline zapped through my blood as I gasped and kicked myself away from the stony spears, my breathing heavy and erratic. That was... not a pleasant thing. Even if they were several feet up, the mere image of what those things could've done gave me shivers.

I glanced off to the sides, realizing that I was laying over a towel within one of the tiny nooks of the cave walls.. I... I was outside of Arachna? Yes, I was... its silvery rod loomed nearby, towering over me with comforting familiarity. But I wasn't alone beneath it -- all around me, occupying almost the whole chamber that'd earlier that day been Spiderhole's grand market, people clumped in messy and disorganized heaps. Many were injured, their groans hanging in the air with an omnipresent aura of desperation and misery. Overtaxed medics rushed around, nearly tripping as they tried to perform several procedures at once. They'd inject a syringe there, cast a leg there, snap a limb back into place there... it was chaos, and the whole scene was lit with the disorienting light of orange torches. Half of the people I saw were like shadows, and the other half were so starkly lit with orange that the contrast from just looking over them sent my head spinning.

But what terrified me most was the smoke. Black plumes of it wafted up from the three doors of Arachna, each wide open. The smoke rose up to the ceiling overhead, shrouding the ceiling and the top of Arachna's rod in blackness. If enough smoke piled up, it'd start to lower... and when it reached the floor, with all these hurt people on the ground...

What had happened? Why... why were things even worse than they were before? This... this couldn't be real. It just couldn't be. I... I refused to believe it was!

There was a sigh right next to me. "Yes, Myst, this is real," Tavish said, and I jumped. I turned and saw him sitting against the rock wall, smiling tiredly, mirthlessly. He was exhausted. His armor lay in a messy clump at his side, his helmet crowning the top of the pile. His clothing was stained with so much dirt and sweat I wondered if he'd been used to wipe the floor. "I wish it weren't, believe me. But... well, here it is. Not acknowledging it is irresponsible. People got swept up into this mess, and we all have to clear our heads and help each other out. It's the only way to fix this."

I frowned, taking in the chaos again. It must've been a good one-fourth of Spiderhole's people that were in this chamber... that meant people in the hundreds. "I... I don't really believe what I'm seeing," I murmured, shaking my head. Now, maybe, just maybe, it wasn't really as bad as it seemed. When last I saw, most of the people were returning to their homes, looking eager to build new lives. At that time, quite a few of the Roamans had already been hurt... and looking over this crowd, most of them actually were those same Roamans. That meant that the number of added injured couldn't have been that high -- which was good! It meant that, along each of Spiderhole's eight spider-leg caverns, there were many others unaffected by whatever it was that'd happened here.

Good for them. Good for them... but this was all still so horrible. I'm sure everyone had hoped for the same: a bit of cleanup and reorganization, then gradual improvement. More opportunities, more freedoms; no more tension and no more danger -- better lives for all... my... myself included. The Roaman victory was supposed to be a dream come true, but instead there was all this. Now, if everyone stayed true to Spiderhole's new aspiration, this whole thing at most was just a setback... but I couldn't help but feel that some people would take the incident as an ill omen. There were lots of superstitious groups in Spiderole... and given what it was I'd just witnessed a while back, I was scared all their weird prophecies and stuff would actually have some merit.

Tavish painstakingly sat up and inched close as I stared out over the terrible scene. "I felt the exact same way," he replied, gently wrapping me in his hooves and pulling me against his shoulder. I was so sick of horrible sights... so sick of needless pain. I sniffled and pressed myself against him, trying to shut it all out as he threw his unclasped cape around me. But just as I felt I could let myself selfishly indulge in the comfort of his presence, he asked, "What happened, Myst? Why did the medical ward catch fire?"

I curled up into a little ball against him, shaking my head. "I don't know... honest. I wasn't awake to see how it happened." That was the truth. But the whole scene with Justice and Mercy replayed in my head, and I just knew they were connected to it somehow. "But... there was this knight. He acted really strange... and so did this one mare. They were talking in the room I was in..."

"After the knight evicted you, yes I know," Tavish said. My eyes widened as I looked up at him. Tiredly, he explained, "I know all that my brothers in the area knew. At some point a knight entered the room; a few moments later you were thrown out. Now, Myst, you mustn't blame yourself... I know that they scolded you, and I suppose given the circumstances they couldn't have helped it. I don't blame you for not being able to do anything because of them. You were confused and scared. You knew not what you could have done."

I smiled faintly as he stroked my mane. Even if all the world were against me, at least Tavish would always understand...

"But I cannot blame my brothers, either," he continued. "Put yourself in their shoes, and you will find their irritability could not be helped, nor could the things they said. We are all limited by our perceptions, Myst. Do not blame them for wrongly accusing you as the problem, for I am sure that they now know better. Alright?"

I nodded. "Okay... besides, it's actually really my fault. If I could have just told them... defended myself... I could've prevented this. I could have made them see, instead of wallowing in my own fears." I wiped my eyes as tears started to form. "I let this happen, Tavish. Me and my stupid problems. Please... please forgive me."

His gaze turned sad, but I begged him with my eyes to not disagree with me. Because this was the truth: I could have stopped it. I could have, if I wasn't so damn scared for my own skin to stand up and tell them. I knew it and Tavish knew it; any disagreement he had was just a nicety.

"Alright, Myst. This one time only, you hear? I... forgive you," he said hesitantly, seeming pained. A mirthless smile crossed my lips at his concession. "And... I'm sorry you had to go through all that without me there to help. I was scared to death knowing you were in there. And I know I promised to be at your side always, but... duty demanded satisfaction."

"It's okay. Everything before the accident was a nice practice... for a while there I even thought maybe today was the day. That I'd finally get to... you know, be confident in myself." I let out a single broken chuckle. "But I guess my attempt was doomed, just like all the others. I'll keep trying, always... but after all this, I won't get my hopes up."

"I understand," he replied. "I can't let you take the blame entirely, though. I know also of the... mysterious nature of the knight, and of the mare. Both disappeared without a trace. Was this orchestrated? An act of terrorism by slaver sympathizers? I know not. I can only say for certain that if they were more than they seemed, Myst... then I doubt you'd have been able to stop them, even if you were just like anyone else."

I swallowed, recalling with fear the terrifying boom that'd sent me flying into those crates. My cheek was dry where it'd been singed by the heated door; my back stung where the jagged pieces of wood had sunk into me. With that kind of power... with that much ability to hurt others... Justice and anyone like him were deservedly very frightening. But what was he? Fearfully, as if just talking about him would bring him back, I asked Tavish if he knew anything about the mare and stallion who'd caused all this misery.

The question stumped him. "I don't... I don't know, Myst," he replied tiredly, slumping against me even as I relied on him for comfort and support. He winced and tried to regain his bearings, and I decided to swap roles. I sat up straight and gently laid his head against my shoulders; he was way bigger than me, and kinda heavy for it, but it was worth it to see his grateful smile.

I looked at him curiously, silently urging him to continue. He met my gaze, and sounding less strained this time, said, "As you know, Myst, we of Arachna are not equipped to pursue investigations into such matters; even if we were, the area where evidence may be found is currently too dangerous to risk entering. My brothers... they say that the suit of armor worn by the unknown knight suddenly slumped before them, and that there was no body within. The mare disappeared beforehoof, or possibly while my fellows were distracted by the knight. So far, we can only assume that at least one of them was magically equipped for an escape. The knight may have been a unicorn, or the zebra mare may have had enchantments at the ready -- maybe even both. We have only speculation at the moment."

His features saddened, and he shook his head. "Which has... had some unwanted effects, I'm afraid." I rose a brow, not liking the sound of that. He caught my troubled expression and smiled, shrugging. "Ah, don't worry about it. Just some complications with my relationship with my colleagues. Given time, I'm sure it will all amount to nothing. You needn't trouble yourself."

"Tell me," I insisted, pouting. Pouting was the one humiliating thing I could do that I didn't mind doing, at least around Tavish.

"I... I really shouldn't," he deflected, but from how uncertain he looked, he was definitely considering it. "These are my problems, courtesy of my responsibilities and duties as knight-commander of Arachna, and now of Spiderhole. I shouldn't be troubling anyone else with this."

"But I've always troubled you with my own problems," I said, frowning from the thought of it. I wondered if my relationship with Tavish hadn't been one-sided, selfish. I had served him and gone on errands for him as his serf, but... well, physical labors just never equalled emotional labors in my mind. "It's only fair that you get to do it, even just this once."

He thought on it a moment, then smirked. "Yes, it would be fair." After a little more thought, "Okay, fine. Just this once. I guess I need an outside opinion of this, anyway." He took a deep breath, and with an irritated tone he said, "Imperius is going on a crackdown, thanks in no small part to this. Knowing him, Myst, he'll be completely... unreasonable. He will be ruthless, caring nothing for the rights and dignities of those subject to his fury. To him, anyone who'll object to an immediate search of their belongings and homes -- their recently recovered belongings and homes -- is a slaver sympathizer." He seemed infuriated by the thought, and he shut his eyes and growled, grinding a hoof into the stone.

"I have no doubt the recently-deposed slavers still have supporters," he seethed, glaring forward with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. "And if they did this, then they've only served to speed their own undoing. But damn it, there is the chance that they are not responsible. Imperius cares not for that chance. He blackened Onosander's eye when he was merely told to consider it! The Committee was a brutal governing body that deserves the harshest punishments, yes it's true -- but we should not accuse them of crimes we are not sure they've committed. To do so would be to become like them, doesn't he see that?"

He tensed, then let out a long breath and shook his head disappointedly. "At this point in time, the people of Spiderhole are like Imperius: quick to anger, judgemental, reckless... even now, you may hear them grumbling for death if you pay close enough attention. Whatever leniency they may have had is now gone. For that... I fear tomorrow morning's trial will be utterly lopsided, especially with Imperius insisting on being judge. Immediate execution is out of the question now, as is any chance of a fair verdict. With judge and jury both lusting for vengeance, I can only imagine what torturous sentence awaits the Committee... gah, it makes me wonder of the true quality of the people I work with and for."

I looked into his eyes for a long moment, seeing anger. But there was confusion, too, and also... helplessness. And he knew what it was I was seeing. With a shame I never expected from Tavish, he looked away. His eyes glanced over the scene before us, at the fire-lit body of Arachna and the silhouetted masses of dead and dying. The sharp smell of antiseptics and alcohol hung in the air, competing with the stench of sweat and dirt and blood. It was nightmarish to behold. If someone I cared for had been victim to this... if Tavish had gotten hurt, and without him to make me see the chance that it wasn't the slavers... then I'd want vengeance, too. I couldn't begrudge others their desires. They'd just recently been freed, and then this happened... who wouldn't be outraged?

After such a long moment, he finally said, "It's getting late, Myst. You should go and get some rest." He stood up and started strapping on his armor again.

I stood, too. "How about you? You're even more tired than I am."

"True enough," he said casually as he slipped his plated boots on. Then, wryly, he smirked, "But to hell with that. I'm a knight of Roam, sworn to her standards and values. I suffer so that others won't. It's the life I've been born to, the life I've come to love. Really, now's not so different from any other call to duty. I afforded myself this short respite only to make sure you were alright. And seeing that you are..." He snapped on his breastplate, then took the cape off of me and clasped it slots on his pauldrons, "... I can now get off my flank and get back to work. My brothers and the people of Spiderhole need me. It would be rude to keep them waiting. Just as well... I'll be damned if I let Imperius go on this rampage without at least trying to knock sense into him."

I felt strangely naked without his cape over me... which made no sense, because I was still wearing my hoodie vest. I looked around, anxiously rubbing a foreleg. "Where am I supposed to go? Arachna's... not really a nice place to sleep in right now."

"Well," he said, planting his helmet firmly on his head, visor up. "You could stay here. But seeing as there's over a hundred people nearby, and because I don't want you to suffer through anything for at least the last hours of the day, you could also stay with Goldwreath."

The mentioning of the name wiped away every last shred of meekness as I lunged forward. "He's alive? He is? Oh, thank goodness! I've been so worried. I... I didn't think anyone of those people I was nursing made it out! They were all in that room with that crazy knight. This is... this is wonderful!" Tavish was the only huggable thing nearby, so I threw my hooves around him and squeezed tight, squealing as I bounced on my hooves like a little filly.

Tavish just chuckled as he patted my back. "Indeed it is. My brothers managed to pull everyone out of the ward before the inferno started. It was messy, chaotic, and quite a few of the new people you see writhing on the ground now are here because of it... but no deaths yet, and thank the gods for that."

I pulled away, trying to keep my grin to a minimum. "Where is he? No! Where are they? I need to hug them all!"

"Well, then you'll have to wait. The knights you tended to are all somewhere in... this." He waved a hoof over the masses. I deflated, tail sagging and ears folding back. Then he smirked, and with an odd tone said, "However... Goldwreath is up and about, which surprised me. But then I thought: 'Don't turn down a good fortune, no matter how small'. Last I saw he was with a minotaur heading down the third leg-tunnel. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw Lampshade slung over the big one's shoulders."

He stepped back, smiling strangely before he pulled his visor down. Then he raised a hoof, and from the disorientingly-lit crowd rushed a bunch of knights. They assembled behind Tavish as he looked at me over his shoulder, starting to turn around. "So, the choice is yours, Myst. You could stay here for the night and risk being bothered by anyone, or you could ask Goldwreath if you can stay in their room... which carries with it its own challenges, of course. Quieter where he is, but hey, it's a long trot. I bet the decent beds they have in their room will be worth it, though."

With that, he left. I could only tell him from everyone else in the crowd by the wings on his helmet. And as soon as he'd disappeared, I left too. I was smiling like crazy as I zipped up my vest, searched for the stone arch that marked the third leg-tunnel's entrance, and cantered eagerly along down the cavern.

***Roama Victrix***

A familiar soft light poured out from under the wooden doorway. It was a small but appreciated comfort to see Goldwreath's room untouched by the fighting; in fact, the entire cavern looked just fine. The other residences built into the walls were similarly intact. Some people were even occupying them, and they stood outside the doors, chatting, and if not that they were embracing one another out in the open. It was good to see at least one part of Spiderhole turning towards a peaceful, liberated life -- the contrast between this and the horrible scene in Spiderhole's center made me smile, relieved that all the sacrifices hadn't been for nothing.

I couldn't quite bring it upon myself to knock on Goldwreath's door, though. The surge of joy that'd driven me down here to see him had... well, burned itself out. I wasn't really good at hanging onto motivations driven by good feelings... really, only goals given to me by desperation and fear stuck with me. It was kinda depressing... but in this case, it wasn't just the lack of good emotional fuel or the presence of negative stuff. No, This time it was... well...

"Why does everyone look at me like that?" the big scary minotaur asked as he sat down next to Goldwreath's door. He was cleaning his armor of blood and dirt, wiping it with a large rag. "It's not like you people haven't seen a minotaur before. Why the uneasy stares?"

I flushed and looked away, trying to form words. "Oh, I'm not uneasy... and, erm... sorry if I look like it... or sound like it." I cleared my throat and forced myself to look right into his eyes. "It's just that you're the minotaur that helped the Roamans earlier, right? I'm... kind of in awe. You did great in helping them... and all of us." I smiled at him, more out of satisfaction with my reply than actual gratitude... though the more I realized what I'd just said, the more I realized I meant it, too. "So... thank you. Maybe the others just don't know if or how they should say it, so please receive my thanks as gratitude not just from me, but from everyone."

I winced. Did... did I just say I was telling him something no one else had the courage to say? Wow, the stuff that came out of my mouth when I said stuff straight out of my head...

He looked right at me, and it took every last bit of courage I had to keep my smile up, however sheepish it may have started to become. Nervous sweat ran down my neck and back, seeping into my bandages and making my wounds itch. I twitched and stretched my grin as wide as I could, all the while mentally begging him to just stop looking at me.

It must've been a minute, and finally I couldn't take it. "So whatcha doing?" I blurted, stepping forward, my face bearing the crazed remnant of my formerly sincere smile. His scrutinizng gaze turned uncomfortable; clearly he didn't expect me to suddenly ask something out of the blue, and definitely not with such a stressed grin. I relaxed, resting my strained and achy jaw (and surely looking less psychotic for it), and meekly pointed at Goldwreath's door. "Out... out here, I mean. Why're you just sitting down here? You seem kinda... displaced."

"I am displaced," he replied, frowning and looking glum. I stepped back, swallowing, scared I'd made him mad. But he just looked up at me, and I saw not anger in his yes, but anguish. "Spiderhole is free now, or so it seems. The slaves now have lives, and the slavers are deposed. Where am I to go, then? I used to serve the masters because they had me and my brothers on a leash. We needed them to survive, and the others were more than happy to stomp you people down on their behalf -- it was a life infinitely better than languishing in the wasteland above. Yet here I am, the only Mountainguard to cling onto life and civility, and I live now among those I'd oppressed. Perhaps the people keep quiet because I helped free them, but soon enough they will remember me for what I was. And then what? I cannot say. I will likely leave to find meaning in life again. I... I wronged many people to keep myself safe, to stay in the favor of those who would have discarded me like trash. I won't deny it. I can't deny it. Atonement lies before me, and it would be irresponsible to cringe from it. No, I know exactly what I need to do... I must atone. The land has no shortage of slavery, and thus there is no shortage of opportunities for my soul."

I stared at him for a long while, remembering clearly the times when I'd seen him in the halls, forcefully shoving and scaring people... I was always scared of him and his fellow minotaurs. They were instruments of oppression, and we avoided them as much as we could. But this guy... he'd helped us. When things were most uncertain, he chose to side with us. That had to mean there was more to him than a beast of terror, however anyone would ever look at him. So I smiled.

"You'll do just fine," I assured him. "I know what it feels like to do stuff you don't want to just so you can survive. Really, I do. Now I don't know if, well... if you were scared to do the brave things for the same reasons I am. Probably not... but hey, you chose for yourself in the end, when the opportunity presented itself. So... keep it up." Summoning up the courage, I stepped forward and gently laid a hoof on his hand. He seemed uneased by the gesture -- I know I was. But I just repeated, "Keep it up."

He looked down at my hoof, then up at me. For one heart-stopping moment I saw a look in his eyes that could have been all kinds of bad stuff. Was it anger? Disgust? Desperation? The way he looked at me... it made me wonder if I hadn't offended him in some way. I also had the feeling that, if I had, I wouldn't likely live to learn from my mistake.

But he just pulled his hand away and snorted, muttering, "We'll see, pony. We'll see... Now, why are you here? Surely it wasn't to speak with me; I doubt you even knew I was here. Was it to speak with Goldwreath?"

I perked up. "Yes! Yes, actually, I need to speak with him. I, uh... I need to see for myself that he's okay. So, if, um... I could just go over to the door, there?"

He inched closer to the wall, gesturing for me to move. "Go ahead. I'm not his gatekeeper. Let him decide whose queries he'll entertain."

I quickly trotted past him and went up the stone steps to Goldwreath's door. There I drew a deep breath, and smiling I lifted a hoof up to knock, when something stopped me. From inside, voices argued, deep in disagreement. Goldwreath and his friend... Lampshade? Yes, Lampshade -- they were talking about something, and were trying to be quiet about it. But my ears picked their words out anyway.

"... can't stay here, Lampshade. I have a duty that must be fulfilled, as do the Legionaries -- but they can't leave this place, not yet. They need time to recover, and when they do they'll catch up. At least I can confidently tell their leader they're still alive. So I'm leaving. No rhetoric on your part of how this place can be 'a new home' for me will change my mind. I have one home that I serve, and it's currently under the jurisdiction of the people who represent that to which all loyalties in this land should be directed: to Roam. I'd argue that you should come with me and join the Legion. Yes, this place will be better now; yes it will, if governed properly, become a shining beacon of change and blaze out across the wasteland, bringing good to all, but... I've to move on. I trust Tavish to take care of Spiderhole."

"Well... suit yourself, dude," Lampshade replied with a sigh. I could almost see him slumping, frowning. "I was just saying. You know, there're opportunities here. Abundant chances to pursue a life in any trade. See, I thought your obstinacy was just due to having no options. But now I realize you actually really meant all that stuff about giving yourself up nigh-entirely for the sake of others."

"Of course I did!" Goldwreath snapped, sounding insulted. I put my hoof down, ears plastered to the back of my head as I frowned and looked around, wondering for the second time that day if it was appropriate for me to butt in. I sure didn't want to annoy him, especially if he was mad. "Do you think me a liar? Mark these words: anything that comes out of this mouth is truth to the greatest degree I can accomplish. Lying is for the snakes, the devious, who seek to manipulate others by way of guile and trickery. I'm a Roaman -- you are a Roaman. We pride ourselves in overcoming challenges through our sheer willpower and determination. Others say we lead ourselves to suffering, but then suffering does build character. So if I must suffer for my duty and honor as a servant of Roam, then so be it. Anything done for her cannot be a waste."

Wow. He must really take this stuff seriously. I... I really shouldn't be here. I'll just make things awkward. So it was settled. Tavish may have not cared for my intrusion, but I didn't really know Goldwreath. I mean, I wanted to get to know him, but I didn't want to get scolded in the process. Worst thing ever, being scolded...

I sighed and turned, starting to trot down the steps. But then the door creaked open behind me, and heavy, clanking hoofsteps thumped across the floor. Too late, I glanced over my shoulder. Goldwreath, attentive only to the loose straps of his armor, bumped into me. We managed to not fall over, but... oh goodness, his things! I'd knocked his saddlebags all over the floor! Panic exploded through me, and I frantically sprawled myself out over the floor to gather his things. Momentarily blinded by the swinging metal of his helmet, Goldwreath glowered, sending my heart racing as fast as my forelegs. Then he adjusted his helmet and, looking down at me, all his anger disappeared instantly.

"Myst?" he gasped. I cringed back, preparing myself for the smack that was sure to follow. But it never came. His eyes wandered over me, then over the pile gathered at my hooves. He recoiled, spluttered, then stood completely still. Then after a moment he sucked in a deep breath, and seeming totally flustered he bent down to help me gather his things. My cheek not burning from the strike that never came, I was frozen in bewilderment.

"I... gods, I am so sorry, Myst," he stuttered, seeming as panicked as I had been as he drew the pile over and started shoving the stuff into his bags. He looked right at me, frowning with deep remorse and apology. "I didn't see you there. My fault -- my fault entirely! You're... you're not hurt, right? Please tell me you're not," he said, almost pleading.

"I... I don't think so," I replied. We both stood as he finished cramming the last of his stuff into his bags, the covers swollen by the careless placement of his things. Not the way I'd have done it... normally, I'd try to find some way of neatly packing all my stuff away. But maybe I was just a neatfreak -- most people weren't neatfreaks, right? "And you? Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, me? Yeah! Of course! Got this... armor here, so I'm about as okay as I can get, heh..." he said, then flashed me a grin. It instantly wavered, and he cleared his throat. A long moment passed by in awkward silence as he glanced between me and the doorway. "Were you, uh... trying to find me?" he asked, his voice anxious. Again, I noticed he was sweating.

"Y-yes," I replied quietly, all sense of the need to hug him gone. The idea was still appealing, though, but now, standing there in front of him... I couldn't do it. It would have been way too weird. "The last time I saw, you were asleep in the room after a guy came in... long story. He's gone, and good thing too. I was worried for you -- all of you, I mean! You and the others... I thought I'd lost you."

He swallowed, nodding slightly, pressing his lips tightly together. "Yeah. I get that. The fire at Arachna... I woke up when they were hauling me out. I saw the plumes of smoke, the tongues of flame lapping after me as I was carried off on a stretcher. Terrible that it happened..." As he said that, conflict bloomed on his expression. No one else would've caught it, but I swear I hear him whisper to himself, "What the hell did you do, Vox..."

My eyes widened. They knew each other? Goldwreath knew the crazy guy who did that? No... no, no. Maybe he'd just... heard his name! Yeah! I read somewhere once that unconscious people were aware of what was happening around them. Or was that for people in comas? Oh, I hoped he just heard the name...

He noticed my unease, and he coughed lightly and quickly changed the topic. "But I'm sure it will be handled, so don't worry about it. I'm sure Tavish and Imperius and Onosander can get this place under control. They don't need my help, so... my job here is done, I think."

I frowned slightly, holding back my true disappointment. "Oh. So you're... going to leave." I shouldn't have been surprised. Of course he'd leave now. There was no reason for him to stay, and I didn't know him enough to do anything about it. I had hoped... but for nothing, it seemed. "Good luck out there..." I said quietly.

His eyes widened, his expression looking strained. "I... well, thanks." He cleared his throat, tugging at the collar of his armor. "There's just nothing keeping me hear, you know? I was supposed to save some Legionaries, and I did, but... well, they're too beat up to leave. I'll have to carry on for them, and it's an important job. So the sooner I leave, the better."

"Y-yeah. Definitely," I replied. I gave him a little smile, and he seemed glad to have my understanding... but all the same there was an awkward, tense air between us. I couldn't put my hoof on it.

But he didn't move. He seemed frozen where he was, his legs trembling slightly as he made slight movements forward that he immediately countered with a slight step back. Sweat poured down his neck as he looked around, seeming pained and confused and uncertain. I got concerned, and would've asked him if something was wrong if it weren't for the fact that something was so obviously wrong. So I left it up to him to say it.

Finally, he stopped. He took a deep breath, and in a single smooth motion he looked right into my eyes. "Actually, there is a reason I should stay," he said simply, but despite his calm face and unwavering stare he was clearly holding back some sort of unease. "It's night time. If the clock in there's correct, it's dark outside. So... hell, I'll leave tomorrow morning. Much better idea, now that I really think on it, hehe..." He chuckled lightly for a moment, then with a swallow asked, "So, nurse Myst? What do you think? You know my injuries better than I do. Do you recommend one more night of rest?"

Oh my gosh. I blushed hard, looking away. I couldn't hold back my smile -- something about being called 'nurse' just sent all sorts of images to my head. Nurses were compassionate, kind, caring -- at least that's how they seemed in all those medical magazines I'd read... and Goldwreath thought I was one of them. That... that meant I was actually getting somewhere! Right? Right! Yes, it fucking did!

I, uh... er, please forget I said that. Heh... anyway...

"I do feel you need it, yeah..." I replied, clearing my throat and rubbing at a foreleg. "I don't know much about medicine and health stuffs. Just as much as anyone else would know. But it's better to be safe, right? You never know what kind of damage your body took." But it's not like he's even really hurt anymore, I thought, eyes glancing over his broad legs and armored chest. He was fit, strong; he'd recovered pretty quick, faster than anyone I'd ever seen. And as if he didn't have enough going for him, he was... also pretty nice to look at, heh. He'll be fine.

He grinned sheepisly. "R-really? Great! That's great. Damn, now I can... I can stay another night, and... uh..." He turned around and called into the open doorway, "Lampshade! Hey, guess what? I'm staying just a bit longer."

"No shit," Lampshade called back. "You've been standing there for the past five minutes, and here I've been wondering just why. Whatever happened to leaving no matter wha-..."

"Things changed," Goldwreath cut in, stepping inside, seeming suddenly alive with boisterous energy. I wondered if the idea that he had reason to rest some more made him as ecstatic as he was. It sure did make me feel good to think so, and even better knowing that I'd given him the incentive. So that was one good, beneficial social interaction out of twenty... oh, out of twenty-one, counting the flop earlier that day back at the medical wards... and yes, I did count the number of terrible things that'd happen to or because of me. It... sounds kinda sad, I know.

I trotted in after Goldwreath, spotting him glancing over at me, chewing his lip and scratching at the back of his neck. Lampshade was in front of him, lying down on a bed, a hindleg in a cast and his chest covered in bandages. Then Goldwreath cleared his throat and turned to him. "See, Myst here said that with the hit I took to my head, I should take another night off. Just one more. And hell, I know nothing about medical science, so I'll trust anyone who even seems like they know more. So, great, huh? Yeah, let's... get this restive night of rest going!" With that he dropped his saddlebags down onto the floor, and immediately he went over to his bed and fell over backwards onto it, letting out a loud sigh -- all before flashing me a coy, toothy smile.

I returned it, parts of me beaming at seeing little bits of myself in him. Tavish may have understood me better than anyone, but every second I spent around Goldwreath made me feel like I'd finally found someone who was like me, even if just a bit. All the people I'd ever met were just so... polarized. The eccentric people were nothing but eccentric; the confident people, overflowing with pride; the meanies, all so rude and inconsiderate. Even Tavish as a person had all his character leaning towards the typical image of the ideal leader, or at least that's what I got from the two months of being with him and seeing his people react to him. It was like every person I'd met, good or bad, had developed to have just one side to themselves. Now it may have been untrue -- maybe I just didn't get to know them well enough. But I always listened hard. I always watched from corners, not drawing attention to myself as much as I could help it. I saw how people were like when they thought no one was near. The truth was, most of them were... repetitive. Trying to know them through observation became boring, and my own fear of actually talking to most of them kept me from ever learning much. But with Goldwreath, things were different. He was dynamic. He was interesting, and he wasn't a terror to talk to. Why him and not anyone else, even Tavish? I didn't know, it was weird; it didn't make sense... but it only piqued my curiosity further.

Lampsade seemed curious, too. Suspicious, actually. Narrowed eyes darted between me and Goldwreath, and my smile collapsed as I looked away. "Capricious one, ain't ya?" Lampshade smirked. "Well, hell, go ahead. For a while there I was scared I'd be left alone in this place. Company's a really nice thing to have, you know. But of course you know." There was something odd in his tone, and I lifted my eyes up just in time to see him giving Goldwreath a devious grin. The pegasus went rigid.

"Yes," Goldwreath replied, his words said through clenched teeth as he grinned over at the other stallion. "Yes, it most certainly is... in fact, it's such an obviously nice thing that you needn't say it again." He spared a glance over at me, but the moment I met his wide eyes he snapped them back over to Lampshade. Second time he refused to meet my eyes now... gah, there had to be a reason for it. "In fact I'd appreciate it if you didn't."

"Sure, sure!" Lampshade replied with a chuckle. I didn't really get what was so funny, though. "Sure, I'll not mention it again. Just rest up, dude! But you know, you're quite the imposing figure. Confident with words and high of stature -- that makes you the master of this house, however a temporary master you'll be. So please, won't you invite in our guest?" He looked over at me, giving a wink and a smile. I stared back, frozen by the gesture but with my heart pounding so hard I could feel every pump through my veins.

Goldwreath laid there for a second, and I swear for a moment his eyes blazed with a masked murderous intent -- much more subtle than the look Imperius gave people, but it was definitely there. Then he sucked in a breath and stood, approaching me with that same coy smile. He coughed and gave me a sheepish grin. "S-sure. Heh... that is, if she does want to stay. You do, right? I-I mean, it's none of my business, but... hell, it's not like it'd hurt. And this place could use some more people in it."

"You... you actually want me to stay here?" I asked in shock, recoiling. Okay! This was obviously another opportunity. But was I willing to take it? It was hard to think, standing right there, both of them staring at me... every second felt tense, and my heart pounded in my chest as I began to sweat, my thoughts all so hyped they crashed into each other. I mean, it's not like I didn't want to... because I actually really did. But most of these sorts of things ended badly, and I didn't want what little I had going between me and these two to collapse already. Something would happen, I just knew it. Knowing my luck, I'd accidentally break their stuff or something -- then they'd get mad, kick me out, and then I'd just try to forget it all with sleep... and then the next day I'd spend some hours trying to block out fantasies on what could have been. I didn't want that... and I didn't want them to have to hate me.

"I... I don't think it's a good idea," I answered, feeling my heart break just saying the words. I couldn't meet their eyes as I tried to come to terms with my decision. "I might screw something up. Clumsy hooves I have, you see, heh... and... truth be told, I wouldn't want to make things awkward here. You barely know me, so... you know how it is. I don't want to be trouble." I rubbed at my hooves and kicked at the dirt, then looked up and met their eyes. "You wouldn't want me here if all that would follow would be awkward silence and lots of stuff falling over, would you? Cause that's what tends to happen when I'm around. Trouble, and... bad stuff."

Goldwreath shook his head and sighed. He approached, but I stepped back. We frowned at each other, and in shame I looked away. I could feel their eyes boring into me, wondering. See, you two? Awkward silence. If I left, it'd leave with me. Just let me go. I was just keeping you from doing anything else.

"Listen... Myst," Goldwreath started slowly. His tone was soft, cautious. I guess he'd realized I was a brittle mare that he had to be careful with. I'd always tried to hide the worst of myself, but if he was acting so careful now... was I that obvious? "Listen. I knew lots of people that blamed themselves for things. They always saw themselves as the problem. The truth was, they were just really unlucky. Victims of a flawed system, or of circumstances beyond their control. And listening to you say all that, well... I've seen it before; I can already sort of imagine the life you got."

That got my attention, and I looked up at him. He gave me a sad, sympathetic smile. "Trust me, I do. When you're a guard tasked with keeping the peace, you talk to a lot of people, guys that only open up when they're drunk, or have nothing left... and you realize that the very same people you look up to are actually breaking down inside. It's an eye-opener. It's shocking. Sometimes I didn't believe it... I mean, shit, I was supposed to keep the ruffians in line, but that? It all became too real too fast, and I just... didn't think it was possible. I'd go to sleep after duty and I still see them, bent over a desk with an empty bottle of wine in their hooves. 'I could have been like them,' I thought, 'If one variable in my life was different. Just one variable.'"

He took a deep breath and looked down, looking solemn. There was something about him now, as he stood there armed and armored, that held my attention firmer than before. An air of deep thought hung over him, an aura so tangible even Lampshade kept quiet just to wait for him to continue. At last he looked back to me, and this time I maintained eye contact as he said, "So don't blame yourself, Myst. Life is unfair, I know that. Everyone knows that. It's a reality that, quite simply put, sucks. I wonder sometimes how the universe could allow such a thing to exist. Is there some fundamental law that's broken or something? I don't know. But if you live all your life as a slave to that harsh reality, then that's on you. But I believe that people can overcome that unfairness if they just try, with maybe a little help. You may not think it or feel it, but you can break through this life and find a better one beyond it. You just have to know it's there, and if you had doubt before let me tell you now: it's real, and it's waiting for you. Don't limit yourself, don't put yourself down, because you started out different from others. People are different, not disadvantaged. You'll see soon enough what you can do."

Normally I'd have stayed silent. I didn't respond to most statements; after all, what if my opinion didn't sit well with others? I usually just nodded. But that... something happened then. I felt a pang inside me, and not an unpleasant one. Suddenly everything seemed much clearer, and in me was such a lightness I felt I could float. Every breath felt cool inside of me, seeming to take away a tension that'd gathered over years.

"Really?" I finally asked -- softly, smiling, my eyes watery. I felt my breath shudder as I posed my question. "Do you... actually think so?"

He gave me a sure smile and nodded once. "I do. I honestly do."

I looked away and let my watery eyes loose their tears. There were only a few, but each one that left me were like weights off my shoulders. I couldn't hold back my grin as I stood there, both of them watching me with a mix of awe and astonishment -- Goldwreath's shock was much more subtle, while Lampshade visibly gaped at the scene playing out in front of him.

I finally got myself together and wiped my nose and eyes. I looked straight at them, throwing back the hood of my vest. For once, I didn't mind anyone seeing the entirety of my face and mane. If others could let those show, so could I. There was no reason I couldn't.

"I... I don't know what to say," I said with a little confused chuckle and tremble, my body coursing with the strange new lightness. "W-well, maybe... maybe I could start by saying I've changed my mind? Y-yeah! Cause I'd... actually love to stay." Then a familiar heaviness swelled in me, dragging my head and eyes down towards the floor in fear. "If... If you don't mind?"

There was still doubt. I didn't believe everything Goldwreath said... and honestly, maybe I only felt so happy because he'd said the things that I'd wanted to make myself believe for years. If nothing else, it was a sign of hope. If some other person could say those things to me, then maybe I had a shot after all. Everything had always been superficial -- they were only ever possibilities, or little goals, or dreams. Few of them had ever come true, and each time it was surrounded by a whole mess of bad stuff. This one... well, it wasn't different in that regard. But it was different because I hadn't worked my flank off to get some meager thanks or compliment, if those. This time my reward and symbol of approval wasn't a simple nod, or a half-hearted thanks. This time... this time someone actually went out of their way to try to make me see myself differently, to make me fell good about myself. And though I'd been doing just that for as long as memory could recall, it was infinitely better because it was someone else this time, and not me.

I couldn't leave him now. It was crazy, I know. Maybe it was just my tendency to get overly-attached to even the slightest of goods, let alone to such a kindness. But I just knew that I needed him. It just seemed so right! Tavish had been a brother to me, a blessing without which I couldn't have gone on much longer... but I had to keep moving. Maybe that was just my fault -- I always tried to settle down. Maybe I wasn't meant for it. Maybe mine was a life that had to keep moving, always searching for purpose. And maybe I'd found out all I could in Spiderhole, and now it was time for me to move on. Yes... yes, that was just it! That was the pattern that my life followed: a cycle of learning and moving, like searching for answers in a library. Would it ever end? Could I ever find meaning enough to finally face the world with my head held high? I didn't know, but damn me if I wouldn't try to find out! And since the stallion who'd been shown to me as my chance to move through the cycle again was right there, and was planning to leave soon... I knew I'd have to follow. I needed to just as much as I needed food and water. Opportunity was my lifeblood, and Goldwreath had the big plus of being an opportunity I actually wanted to take a risk on. I just had to keep hoping.

Giving me the most welcoming smile yet, Goldwreath gestured to the room, "We'd love to have you here for the night. And why not? You requested, and you're accepted. You never know unless you try." With an encouraging little nod he added, "And I'm getting the feeling you're going to be doing a lot more trying from now on. You'll be just fine, Myst."

I smiled and sniffled, holding back more tears. With utter sincerity I said, "Thanks. I'm... really grateful that someone could believe in me like this. I've never had these kinds of words said to me before." Which made me wonder if the minotaur hadn't felt the same way I was then. Probably, actually. Maybe he wouldn't show it like I had, but surely there was some impact.

Taking just a moment to stand there and reflect on... on the sudden change in my luck, and what might come to be because of it, I then looked back at them. They perked up as I trotted over. "Well, it's still kinda early..." I said, looking around the room. They'd probably not explored the place much; the few cabinets and drawers looked untouched, their contents probably laying undisturbed. I'd stayed in that very same place before I came to trust Tavish enough to live in Arachna. I knew what delightful stuff was hidden in the old furniture.

"So why don't we pass the time?" I opened one of the drawers, pulling out some old board games and magazines and other stuff -- I'd only ever touched the magazines, seeing as those were the only things that were fun to use alone. But now there were other people in here, and the aged puzzle pieces and instruction manuals could find use again. I silently thanked whatever people had lived there long before for packing the room full of such supplies.

I turned to them, smiling eagerly. "Up for it?"

They both nodded. Lampshade seemed amused; Goldwreath looked just as eager as I was. But there answer came in unison: "Sure!"

***Roama Victrix***

I was settled into the bed, smiling as a strangely pleasant numbness spread out across my legs. It'd been fun. Two hours of boardgames had drained us. But I didn't mind, even if I had to spend the first half of it all teaching them both the rules of the games -- apparently I was the only one who'd ever bothered to play such things... odd. I'd been alone for most of my memory. It was just kinda weird that some stallions who'd had actual relationships with other people didn't know a group game's rules.

But that wasn't important. What was important was that for the first time in... oh, it'd been such a long time, I felt happy. Like... actual happy. Not worried. Not paranoid. Not waiting for it to crash and burn. This time I hadn't cared to think on all the bad could-haves, and focused just on what was actually going on. And you know... everything was so much better for it. It'd been my first party ever -- if you could call fumbling around over some boards with two guys a party -- but it had the fortune of being one of my few firsts that didn't turn sour. If I wasn't exhausted I'd have been dancing around in glee!

But finally, it ended. We were now all sprawled out on each of the three beds. Goldwreath was awake, though, and was busying himself with lazily sifting through the contents of his saddlebags. Lampshade was in deep sleep; his exhaustion had prompted us to stop in the first place. Luckily, too, cause while I was glad I was able to start the whole thing well enough, I didn't think I knew how to bring it to an end without spoiling the mood.

As the onslaught of sleep approached, I peeked through an eye. Goldwreath's golden eagle thing was shining in the light of the candles, it's form resting in the stallion's hooves like it were his own child. He'd pulled it out of his saddlebags -- apparently it'd been encased in one of the inconspicuous leather pouches I'd sent sliding across the floor earlier, and I hadn't noticed. The shaft, I saw, was segmented; collapsible, then. Heh, good for hiding it at times... oh, but hiding it would be such a waste, I thought. It looked so nice and pretty... it exuded an aura of power and a kind of ancient prestige that I couldn't describe with words, but I could feel it. It was almost as if it were demanding to be felt that way.

Now, Goldwreath eventually began to collapse the shaft again, and reverently he wrapped the golden eagle in the pouch once more. I watched him as he tucked it away in his saddlebags, finding his idolization for a piece of metal fascinating. I'd always found that kinda interesting when it came to Roamans. I'd tried to find books explaining it, but I never got much. Just stuff about Jupiter. Odd stuff... but who was I to judge anything people believed in?

I smiled and sighed dreamily, paying close attention to him and all his minute actions with whatever focus a tired mind could afford. I felt my heart skip a beat when he started untying the leather straps of his armor to set it aside and reveal that... that really... that really robust-looking... chest... of his. And his wings...

Gah, I couldn't help it! Just seeing him in all his masculine beauty sent spasms throughout me. If it weren't for me being so tired, I'd have kicked myself up and gotten right up next to him, finding whatever excuse I could use to be near. The idea was so tantalizing that a burst of energy flowed through me, almost making the fantasy a reality... but I couldn't. No, it would have been just... way too weird. I still barely knew him, and he still barely knew me. But there was at least a connection already, and I liked to think it was a nice little friendship we had going. So I just settled on that and lazily turned in bed, wanting to sleep when I still felt so giddy and to have good dreams for it.

Behind me, I heard a faint chuckle. "Goodnight, you two," Goldwreath said. Then the candlelight went out and the room was plunged into a darkness broken only by the illumination from underneath the doorway. I heard him shift behind me, settling into his own bed. And then the queerest surety asserted itself in my head: he was watching me. He was, as sure as there was a world outside that door. I could have been wrong, I could have just been imagining things... but nonetheless, I didn't go to sleep for a long, long time. And I suspect neither did he.

***Roama Victrix***

"Goldwreath! Lampshade! Myst! Open the door!"

My eyes snapped open, my ears greeted by the sound of frantic knocking. I jerked up, the brooding sense of urgency made more intense by Tavish's familiar voice.

I was the first awake, but not the first to the door. Even as I sat in bed, frozen by the distinct tone of worry in his voice, Goldwreath and Lampshade awoke as well. It was the pegasus that rushed over to the door and opened it. Before another word was said, Tavish pushed his way in, armored head to hoof in knight's mail.

His eyes scanned over the room, and relief flooded into his gaze as he saw me. "There you are," he breathed, approaching me quickly and placing a hoof to my cheek. I heard him swallow, and he bowed his head, "I thought you were gone for sure."

That woke me straight up. "T-tavish? What's going on?"

"And why are your knights assembled in a defensive semicircle right outside?" Goldwreath asked, his head sticking out the door. He looked over his shoulder at us, his face grim with worry.

"For what other reason?" Tavish snapped. We recoiled at his tone, and he stood and took several deep breaths to regain his composure. He looked down at my startled eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry. Really. Things just happened, and so fast. I didn't realize it quickly enough, I feared. So please bear with me, I'm trying to wrap my head around things myself. If I'd had more time, maybe I wouldn't be so agitated."

Goldwreath gave him a forgiving nod. "It's alright. Calm down. And when you're ready, tell us... what this is."

"I don't suppose this is a party?" Lampshade suggested sheepishly. All our attention went on him, and I tried to withhold eyeing him with the same irritation and confusion the other two were giving him. After all, I knew what it was like being in his place... I'd been in it often, and looked at that way often. I didn't want to dish out what I didn't like to receive.

Tavish just waved his hooves around. "No! Not a party!" He yanked his helmet off, revealing a dishevelled mane and a face glistening with sweat. His features were etched with desperation, and with almost crazed eyes he looked to each of us. "I'm not good with speeches. Goldwreath knows this, and Myst -- now you do. So I'll keep it short: you three need to leave, and leave now." He swallowed, trying to loosen the tight metal collar around his neck with a hoof. "Imperius' ruthlessness is greater than I imagined. Rooting out the Committee's hidden followers isn't enough. No, so long as the very memory of Spiderhole's service as a slaver hub exists in the hearts and minds of its people, it can become so again, he says. Our past weakness will inspire future uprisings, he says! Gah, and we must show no more weakness, he says!" he said aloud, almost screaming, his breathing erratic and panicked as he swayed there, seeming dazed. I cringed on the bed, backing up to the wall. I'd never seen Tavish lose it like this. He'd always seemed so composed...

"You're saying... that... what? He plans to kill everyone? Everyone?" Goldwreath asked, shaking his head, looking disgusted. "I can't believe that. I've known Imperius for two days. Ruthless, yes... but not unreasonable. Surely you're exaggerating."

"M-maybe," Tavish spat... literally. As we watched, he was supporting himself against a wall, spitting out bile as he drew deep breaths. I knew that anxiety well... the kind so intense you feel like puking out your insides. What... what was going on? "But I can't risk it... I won't..." he panted, finally wiping his lips of his fluids. "There're few things I have control of in this place. I can blame only myself for Imperius having so much sway... my weakness of character gave him room to grow his ego. Onosander is young, I cannot blame him."

Having finally recovered a semblance of his former confidence, he strode up to the center of the room. Every second my heart pounded in my chest, the intensity of the moment leaking off of him and starting to choke at me. Familiar sensations resurfaced. I could feel myself trembling in the bed, numb down to my hooves.

"There is but one way to deny him more fuel for his fires," he surmised, "I must evacuate who I can. There's no telling what Imperius will do at this point, and I will not risk it. So please, you three, follow me. My ploy can only work for so long; eventually my diversion will be seen through. We must act now while we have time. So, up!" he ordered. "Get your things. There're two entrances to Spiderhole: one from the surface, and one leading to the Roaman underground. You can find shelter there."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't... couldn't process it. Not now, not so soon. I felt like fainting as I swayed on the bed. I take it back. I didn't want to leave. No, not like this. Not even for Goldwreath. I couldn't just forsake Tavish.

I would have resisted, protested. But I couldn't form words, or think the thoughts necessary for any of that. The atmosphere was just... so hot. I couldn't breathe. And making it harder to even think of protesting was Goldwreath -- he was actually obeying. He grabbed his armor, strapped it on, and slung his saddlebags over his flanks. He was ready to go; hell, even Lampshade, despite his broken limbs and injured chest, was making efforts to pack up. I started to panic. My lungs drew ever deeper breaths. I was hyperventilating.

Tavish saw me, and immediately looked pitiful. More so, he looked pained. He frowned and approached, gently, as the other two watched with concern. "I'm sorry, Myst," Tavish said, his voice anguished. "I don't want to do this. And I know you don't, either. But protecting people is all I can do now, even if it means sending them to unfamiliar ground. I... I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, I really don't. But damn me if I'll just sit here and take a risk too dangerous to consider. So forgive me... but you can't stay here anymore. Don't can't come back. Maybe you can again, after some time, but... I won't be able to tell you when. And because of that you'll do best to just stay clear of here forever."

My heart shattered. I couldn't have cared for anything else; not even for my own life if bullets were being shot my way. I started bawling, feeling my entire being torn asunder and thrown down the drain. I hated it. I hated... I hated everything!

I didn't see what happened next, or hear anything besides my unceasing rasping sobs and shrieks. I didn't care that they had to haul me off, taking along only bare essentials they'd force me to call my own in whatever hell of a life was to follow. I wanted to end it all, and I would have... damn me, I would have without hesitation, if only my hooves weren't so busy pounding at the armored torso of whoever it was carrying me off -- was it Goldwreath? Tavish? Someone else? I didn't care. I wanted to hurt something before I went. Luckily I couldn't actually hurt them, then, or I'd have proceeded to strangle myself. As it was, I just kept pounding.

Before long we were in a cave I'd never seen before -- it was wide, but steadily narrowed down to a width just several feet wide. At the end was a big metal door, atop which were golden laurels encasing a stylized emblem of a train. Next to it was some control panel, which some knight was pressing at frantically. We were surrounded by crowds of people, all writhing in the tiny space of the tunnel. It was chaos. Panic reigned, causing tempers to boil over and brawls to break out. And still I was just throwing my hooves at everything in reach.

"Myst, stop it!" someone ordered; it was impossible to tell the voice's owner in the escalating madness of the crowd. "Don't make me have to make you stop! Damn it, please don't!" the voice begged. But I didn't stop. Why should I have? My life was meaningless. Truly now, here was proof that every good had to be cancelled out by a bad. I could never get anywhere like this. So why keep on living? I couldn't end it myself, not with them holding me... so I was gonna cause so much trouble they'd have to. Yes, that they'd have to...

Then a horn blew. It was loud, so loud that for the briefest moment all thought and all things paused, even my own descent into madness. I suppose even a crazed mind had to acknowledge something as booming as a familiar horn. In this case, it was the horn of the Roaman praetorians. Imperius's soldiers.

From down along the tunnel, where it was wider, they marched up. Imperius rode at the front, using one of the slavers' own manticores. He beheld the sight before him, that of the writhing crowd and the tiny door that we were all being forced through. His eyes lit up with rage as Tavish's knights rushed to form a wall between them and us.

"Traitorous bastards! You would have these usurpers live? In disobeying me, you endanger Roam itself! All enemies of Roam... die!" And so he blew the horn again, and like a torrent of dark metal his soldiers charged forward.

Bedlam overcame all things once again. The door, so tiny, finally opened -- and into it the masses of people started rushing, screaming for dear life. I screamed for something else. I wanted to go to the battle. I wanted to die. I needed it! I struggled, breaking myself free of my captor's hooves, and began galloping against the flow of the crowd towards the fight. I felt myself being crushed and cut and bruised by all the people I was plummeting headfirst into... good!

I had almost made it there. So close, I could see the swords flashing and blood splattering. So, so close... one of the praetorians had even taken notice of me. Perhaps he thought I was rushing to the aid of the knights? Maybe. Whatever the reason, he came rushing at me, screaming, his shield ready to bash my face in. I smiled and galloped to greet him, my saviour.

And still I was denied. Goldwreath jumped in front of me, throwing his armored weight against the praetorian. My reflexes took over, forcing me to momentarily shut my eyes and look away. In that instance I heard a slash and a rending of flesh, followed by an agonized cry. When I had opened my eyes again, a bloodied Goldwreath stood where my saviour had been, looking haunted. Then he turned in place, saw me, and after a moment's pause he bellowed and rammed himself right at me. I fought him. I kicked. I even punched his face. But he was bigger than me and stronger than me, and over seconds that felt like entire minutes I saw my salvation slowly receding into the distance. It was almost dreamlike, the way I saw the gore and death moving further away, watching from over armored shoulders my peace being taken from me. The people's eyes were fearful and frantic as they rushed by us, leaving the pegasus and I behind as they rushed for the door. I felt drained, totally hollow as I watched in that slowness the events unfolding before me. I'd given up, on death and on life. Let what would happen to me happen as it would.

Spears were being thrown now. One of them hit the pony right in front of us. The stallion stumbled and tripped, falling right into our path. Goldwreath tripped too, me beneath him. Immediately, time resumed its natural flow, and I had a mere second to feel myself crushed underneath the weight as a mound of people crashed atop us, breaking ribs and flattening armor and barding. I felt my skull crack as I struck the stone, and promptly passed out.

Comments

[Bronybro49]

Nice chapter

[Brown Books]

New chapter! Yes Yes Yes! I love Myst and I'm gonna enjoy this new perspective.

"Silence, mere mortal!" he growled, making me cringe back in fright. He shook his head in irritation. "This... motley excuse of communication Vox Populi has to endure to pursue his goal vexes him, and you would do well to abide by his authority. For that one has deprived Justice of its satisfaction, and as the hand of Order 'tis this instance's task to give due reparation."

Vox Populi! Ah the funny way he talks...

"So don't blame yourself, Myst. Life is unfair, I know that. Everyone knows that. It's a reality that, quite simply put, sucks. I wonder sometimes how the universe could allow such a thing to exist. Is there some fundamental law that's broken or something? I don't know. But if you live all your life as a slave to that harsh reality, then that's on you. But I believe that people can overcome that unfairness if they just try, with maybe a little help. You may not think it or feel it, but you can break through this life and find a better one beyond it. You just have to know it's there, and if you had doubt before let me tell you now: it's real, and it's waiting for you. Don't limit yourself, don't put yourself down, because you started out different from others. People are different, not disadvantaged. You'll see soon enough what you can do."

Wow, I honestly took that in deeply man, wonderful way of seeing it now.

Anyway overall, you did an excellent job with Myst's piont of view. I have a way better picture and emotional connection to her than I did from your last story.
If you succeeded with those two points you've done nothing wrong and like you said: you can only get better. Even now as I write and get back into the practice, I often look at your story for reference for technique.

After all it was your story that rekindled my inner writer, so have-at-it mate, keep up the amazing work, love the story, characters are engaging, the tension and moments fit very well. Read it in 4hrs (ima slow reader).

Peace be with you.

[TheZouave]

Yay new chapter! I was confused at first with this new perspective, but I seem to have grown to like it. There were two misspellings in there, and as usual, they are hiding now. This new myst is... interesting. A change-up from the old myst, definately, and a lot more insecure. I also like how this perspective shows us events that would be normal for Goldwreath, but are new and interesting from Myst's point of view. I also like how this perspective gives us insight into how radically different Myst thinks.

An excellent chapter all around, very long and very different, I applaud you sir *clap clap clap*.

I like how events are moving foreward, and to how myst's behavior will change in goldwreath's company. And lampshade.

[Charedfirescale]

Now that is a chapter, well worth the wait!

[Delvius]

4650907 Thank you, friend, glad you like it.

4651058 Such nice things of you to say, and inspiring as well. Truly, sometimes I don't -- maybe can't see my work with the value that people apply to it. It's a writer's affliction, I suppose, to never view his work as it actually is. So external reassurances such as what you give go a long way to keep me writing. For that I thank you. I'm glad you look up to me and my story, and I hope I prove worthy of your admiration and respect.

4652642 Thank you. I was quite worried Myst's perspective would be confusing, or even boring for some people. At least so far I've received nothing but good comments. See, while I don't think the old Myst was a particularly weak character, I did feel she could have used more work. It's this little project of mine, the alternating perspectives, that I hope will address the previous story's problems.

4652819 The praetorians being displayed here harken more to the praetorians that accompanied the emperor of Rome during, say, the Dacian wars.
chestofcolors.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/new-releases-may-2012-13.jpg
So no, they don't use dracos. They use the usual praetorian weaponry.

[Delvius]

4653979 Ah, I see. I wouldn't know; my area of interest is purely the Roman-Roman empire, not the Byzantine-Roman empire. I couldn't care less for that time.

[Delvius]

4653979 Oh, now I see why I never heard of it. It was a standard of the cavalry; and one introduced by auxiliaries, no less. Sorry, I only studied and learned of the core Roman standards, and typically just those used by the core legion.

[Delvius]

4658604 Afraid not. It's a rewrite; basically, the story as I would have had it, meant to improve on and fix the original's weaknesses and mistakes. Thanks for the fav, by the way.

[_CheckMate_]

I gotta say, despite the re-write being almost nothing like the original (other than a few characters) I gotta say I'm really liking how this is turning out. You also did n amazing job of capturing Myst's thought process.

[Delvius]

Yikes, sorry for the week without reply! I've been a bit busy now that I'm in college, so I hope you'll bear with me.

4669966 I'm glad you're like it! I had hoped, at the least, the rewrite would be good, but all the feedback I've recieved so far is unanimously positive, and for that I'm glad.

4682345 Well, the means by which Myst will contribute the group is... something along those lines, yes. She may not do too much killing, but she'll be incredibly useful. You'll see.

And lol, you were waiting for her to swear?

[Pandabully]

Music for the story ending: linken park

[Pandabully]

i like to add music to every story oh and join my group too

[Delvius]

4836060 Well, I've always felt that music adds to the soul of a story. Though my own tastes are quite different from yours. In fact, you can find the place I dedicate to music for my story on my profile page; just scroll down a bit when you see the pic of Julius Caesar.

And sure, I'll join your group. Why not?

[Willsons]

Is that a first kill I see?

[Delvius]

4947459 Oh, I'd think it's bullshit, as you say. The music isn't there to be listened to whilst you read the story; no, they're mostly there because I, when I write of a certain place, character, or event, listen to the music I associated with it, and I'd like to not forget them during my writing process. The fact that they're here in chapter on the story page is purely to provide the more musically-inclined in the audience the option of, perhaps, attempting to understand what I felt when I wrote something.

No, I'm not trying to artificially induce emotions or distract the reader from the text -- if I were trying to do that, I'd put the musical links within the chapter itself, under the guise of a bunch of dialogue or descriptions. As much as possible, I'd like to be an inclusive writer to attract as wide a variety of audience as possible -- and if not for my stories, then for a possible relationship to develop between me and another person based on our musical tastes. It has borne fruit before, and ever since I've had no qualms of presenting as much of myself as optional modules as possible.

[Delvius]

4947570 Well, the exposition dumps are sort of just things I've decided to do despite the likelihood of audience revolt. Mostly because I really enjoy giving exposition; remember, I'm writing, first and foremost, for me to enjoy my work and my world. That other people come to enjoy them as well is a side effect of there being a story at all.

I'd also like to point at that, yes, you are supposed to take Goldwreath's word for things -- or perhaps you're not. That's entirely your choice. He is, after all, an unreliable narrator. You can't quite trust all of the things he says because much of it is loaded with his own emotion. As with any work of literature, my story I believe works best when I leave room for interpretation. Isn't that how it is when you talk to someone? Well, Goldwreath is basically talking to us, and he makes mistakes. It's intentional, something to remind you that he's not a robot narrating a tale; it's really him.

Lastly, I'm a bit confused by 'if he spoke with a bit more character'. I fail to see what you mean at all. There are eccentric people who narrate in extravagant ways, and there are those who're different. You say he speaks with little character, but I believe otherwise; Goldwreath, as you'll learn, is a patriot. He does believe in the ideals and customs of Roam (ideals and customs which I've mentioned in the story and provide some context on, but otherwise leave to the audience to do research on), and he does have reasons for it, as well as a personality to complement it. It's quite unfair to judge a character by the first chapter -- not even the first chapter at that. Give it some more time, and you'll see/

[Starlight Nova]

How come the rewrite doesn't have a Fluttershy tag? Is this dead? Are you dead?

[Delvius]

5185846 No, I most certainly am not dead. I've just been preoccupied the past few months, what with college and all. I know I haven't really addressed it; but I plan to, soon.

As for the Fluttershy tag, it was made clear to me a long time ago that the character tags should be used for characters that are going to be in the story in some significant, meaningful, necessary way, and not just in some passing sequence. Hence, I can't put a Fluttershy tag.

[Pluto Daze]

Did you delete a chapter?

[Delvius]

5896016 Huh... now that you mention it, FIM seems to have accidentally unpublished one of the chapters. Strange.

Anyways, it's back up.