Half an hour later, the wagon pulled up to the institution. Rarity cracked open one eye, unaware that she had fallen asleep. She sighed and rubbed her eyes before sitting up as the door behind her opened. Without even waiting for a command, Rarity slowly pushed herself to her hooves and hobbled out of the wagon. They had arrived at the hospital, and Rarity fully expected Dr. Mind and Dr. Merrin to be waiting for her, the latter to scold her and sentence her to however long she felt Rarity deserved was necessary in solitary.
The orderlies flanked her and led her back towards the hospital. She walked straight forwards with her head held high and her eyes straight forwards, fully aware that the orderlies were shooting her glances. She was certain that they would have struck up some small conversation about her behavior were it not for the fact that her muzzle prevented her from reciprocating any comments that they made. Dr. Merrin would certainly have her fair share of remarks about her tardiness, so Rarity wasn't even really missing out there anyway.
The trio reached the entrance of the hospital and the orderly to Rarity's left opened up the door and held it open for his charge. Rarity inclined her head in a small bow, acknowledging him for the first time since she had come out of the wagon, and entered the hospital.
As Rarity suspected, Dr. Merrin and Dr. Mind were both standing in the front entrance waiting for her. Dr. Mind was sitting on one of the plastic chairs that lined the front entrance, and he was staring at the ground without an expression that Rarity could pinpoint. Dr. Merrin, on the other hoof, was easier to read. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Rarity walk into the door, and her mouth went thin. She too was sitting on one of the plastic seats, but she stood up when Rarity hobbled through the front entrance of the hospital and stood unmoving in front of Rarity. Rarity, for her part, took a few shaky steps forwards before stopping in front of Dr. Merrin and looking her directly in the eye. Despite her resolve, the way Dr. Merrin was looking at her gave Rarity some pause. There was no kindness or understanding behind her eyes. Instead there was only anger.
Dr. Merrin pushed her glasses a few centimeters further up the bridge of her nose and set the manila folder she had in her magical aura down on the chair she had been occupying. She motioned to Rarity's head.
"Muzzle."
The orderly to Rarity's right nodded and ignited his horn, and within a few seconds, the muzzle was slipped off of Rarity's face. Rarity barely moved, or made any effort to acknowledge the fact that speech had been returned to her. She simply continued locking eyes with Dr. Merrin. Dr. Merrin closed her eyes and quietly sighed. "Rarity..." She shook her head and lowered her head. "What did we do? What did we do to warrant such behavior from you when previously you showed no signs of being prone to such behavior?"
Dr. Merrin turned around and, instead of the anger that she had thought she had spotted, she was surprised to see something that looked a little like helplessness in her expression. "I thought that I could trust you! There were five solid months of immaculate behavior from you, then you go and do something like this?" Dr. Merrin frowned and took a step towards Rarity. "I gave you a specific time to be back here, and instead you come back through that door a full hour and a half late! If the orderlies had said something to the effect that the wagon had lost a wheel then that's fine, but you came back through that door muzzled and hoofcuffed! Why, Rarity?!"
Dr. Merrin stopped talking, and Rarity took the opportunity to quietly clear her throat. "I understand that given my... circumstances, you not only took a big risk, but gave me a great privilege by allowing me to leave the institution. I did not leave intending to stay out so late. The reason that I was..." Rarity motioned to one of the orderlies, "and these gentlecolts can verify my claim, was that I met somepony who had just lost her parents to a carriage accident while at the hospital. I was late because I wished to stay and comfort her in her hour of need. We escorted her back to her home with the wagon, after which I was secured and brought back to the institution." Rarity's eyes narrowed slightly. "That is the only reason. I did not attempt to escape, I did not attempt to abuse the privileges granted to me beyond giving that recently orphaned young mare a hug moments after she found out that her parents had passed away. That is all."
Dr. Merrin stared at Rarity, unblinking for a few moments as she processed the information. Rarity could practically see her brain working to try to understand everything as she just stared at her young charge. Dr. Mind had looked up from the floor and was staring at Rarity as well, though his expression was one of thoughtfulness as opposed to whatever Dr. Merrin was feeling.
"You just met a young mare whose parents died and you gave her a ride home?" said Dr. Merrin finally.
Rarity nodded. "That is all. I felt she needed some comfort. She had nopony there with her."
"She had nopony there with..." Dr. Merrin slowly exhaled and put a hoof up to her temple. "Right... Right." She shook her head and quietly scoffed. "Of course that's what it was. Right."
Rarity gave a quiet scoff of her own and grimaced. "I take it I'm going straight to solitary for the night?"
Dr. Merrin's gaze flickered over to Rarity. "Solitary? S-Sol..." Dr. Merrin groaned and quickly shook her head. "Rarity, I just..." She snapped her head to one of the orderlies and pointed at Rarity's hoofcuffs. "Get those stupid things off of her and get her to her room."
The orderly raised his eyebrow. "Her room? Like, her normal room?"
"Yes, like her normal room!" Dr. Merrin snapped. "I thought I made myself clear! Get Rarity's hoofcuffs off and get her to her room for the night, please and thank you."
Before anypony else could say anything, Dr. Merrin turned tail and stomped back into the interior of the institution, her hoofsteps echoing through the empty hallways. Dr. Mind watched her go, staring at her retreating figure until she turned a corner and her hoofsteps faded away. He sat still for a few moments before sighing and shaking his head. He muttered something to himself that Rarity couldn't hear and stood up, taking the manila folder that Dr. Merrin had left in his magical aura.
"Do as she says. Get Rarity to her room." He took a few steps towards Rarity and gave her a small smile. "I'm glad you made a friend, Rarity, even if it was under unfortunate circumstances. I..." Dr. Mind's smile faded and he turned his head back to the hallway where Dr. Merrin had gone through.
"Dr. Mind?"
Dr. Mind turned his head back to Rarity and raised an eyebrow when he saw her lowered head and ears. He had not failed to see her confident poise when she had come in, so her new demeanor intrigued him. "Yes, Rarity?"
"I... I'm sorry." Rarity tilted her head and scratched at one of her forelegs. "I was just trying to help Applejack. I didn't mean to drastically upset Dr. Merrin."
Dr. Mind's small smile returned, and he put a hoof on Rarity's shoulder. "It's not that exactly, Rarity, it's just..." His smile fell as no placating words came to him, and he sighed again and shook his head. "It's not anything that you should really concern yourself with right now, Rarity. You just go on to bed and let me worry about Dr. Merrin, okay?"
* * * *
Dr. Mind trotted through the institution, a grimace on his face. He had a pretty good idea of what was bothering Dr. Merrin and where she was and what she'd be doing. She'd probably be in her office, moping away with her light brown mane out of its normal bun and her hooves rubbing the dull yellow fur on her face. It was a habit she had picked up when Rarity had been committed to the institution, but lately she had avoided it.
Now, though...
Dr. Mind reached the solid oak door of Dr. Merrin's office. He considered knocking, but only for a moment. She'd probably just tell him to go away anyway. He clicked his tongue and pushed his way into her office. Sure enough, his colleague was sitting at her desk, her head in her hooves and her mane down. To top the image off, a crystal glass was resting beside her, filled three-quarters of the way to the top with a dark, amber liquid that Dr. Mind could guess she had been nursing.
"Go away, Sharp. We'll talk tomorrow."
Dr. Merrin's voice was clear and concise, as per usual. She could still give orders even in this state. Dr. Mind quietly scoffed and stepped into the office, shutting the door behind him. "I can't do that. You're in no state to be alone right now."
Dr. Merrin grunted and waved her hoof at him. "I don't see why you care."
"I care because we've been working together for fifteen years." Dr. Mind walked up to the desk and gently pulled the glass away from Dr. Merrin. "I know you were scared when she didn't report back and the hospital stated that she had already left, but she's back now. Heck, I'd say that there's really something interesting behind why she didn't come back when she was supposed to. She wanted to comfort a grieving mare who had just lost her parents! I know that I'm going to be discussing that with her quite frequently in the coming days. It's a side of her I wasn't aware of. It could mean a real breakth--"
"Sharp, go over to my bookcase."
Dr. Mind frowned and tilted his head. "I beg your pardon?"
Dr. Merrin motioned behind her to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase, packed with books of all sizes. "My bookcase. Go over to it and examine the books please."
Dr. Mind looked over at the bookcase, then back at Dr. Merrin, but the back of his mind told him to humor her so he stood up and walked over to it. "Yes, there are definitely books on this bookshelf. A lot of quality ones including the three that you wrote and the one that I did on foal psychology." He turned his head back to Dr. Merrin who still had not moved. "What's your point?"
"Don't you notice something missing?"
"Missing?" Dr. Mind turned his head back to the bookcase and scanned the rows of books for any gap. "Well, I'm not intricately familiar with every book that you own, so I don't--"
"Because there is one missing. In fact, there are arguably several books missing." Dr. Merrin pulled the glass back over to her and raised it to her lips, taking a small sip. "How to Treat a Foal Murderer."
Dr. Mind's heart sank, and he flattened his ears. "Oh dear," he muttered. He turned back to Dr. Merrin. "Now look, I know that Rarity is your most challenging case, but--"
"How to Treat a Foal Murderer." Dr. Merrin took another sip before putting the glass back down on the desk. "How to Fix a Foal Who Has Killed is another one that is missing from my collection. What to do When Dealing with a Killer is another one that I didn't manage to pick up either."
"Now look--"
"So imagine my surprise, given that I have such gaps in both my library and expertise, when one day almost six years ago I come into work to find that Princess freaking Celestia herself is waiting for me. She has a little white filly that she wants me to treat." Dr. Merrin put her hooves down on the desk and stared straight at the door. "'Cornflower,' she says to me, 'I want you to treat this little white filly. Her name is Rarity. She just murdered two of her classmates.'" Dr. Merrin ignited her horn and one of the drawers of her desk opened up, and she levitated a manila folder out of it. "I say 'oh, that's terrible,' thinking that it's just a simple schoolyard accident or that the little white filly that's going to be in my care from now on just didn't really understand what she was doing." She put the folder on her desk and opened is up. She scooted aside some papers and pulled out two photographs that she levitated into the air. Dr. Mind averted his eyes to the floor. He had seen the photographs of the murdered foals before and had no desire to repeat the experience.
"But no. Not only do I find out that this little white filly understood what she was doing, she enjoyed doing it and would have done it a third time if the third classmate hadn't gotten away! The last pony that did something like that ended up missing his head. This pony is eight years old, and now I am the one that everypony is looking at to fix her." Dr. Merrin flickered her eyes towards Dr. Mind and she tilted her head in a half shrug. "Okay, us. Everypony is looking to us to fix her. Regardless, my point stands. Rarity is literally the first pony to have committed flat-out murder in three hundred years. She beat Kicker with that rock so badly that the coroner had to take little flecks of stone out when he prepared the body, the body that his own mother had difficulty recognizing at first."
"Cornflower, I know all of this. Can you..." Dr. Mind turned his head even further and extended a hoof towards Dr. Merrin. "Can you please put those photographs away?"
Dr. Merrin blinked once and looked back at the photographs. She examined them for a moment before shrugging and putting them back in the folder. "Right. Sorry."
Dr. Mind lowered his hoof and raised his head. "Think nothing of it."
"But I have to, don't I?" Dr. Merrin scoffed and put her hoof on top of the contents of the folder. "I have to think about everything that Rarity does and has been doing. She's our most prominent patient, even if she has no idea. That's why I'm glad her mother gave birth later in the day." Dr. Merrin groaned and reached for the glass again, but Dr. Mind ignited his horn and levitated it out of her reach. Dr. Merrin shot him a glare, but did not attempt to further attain the glass. She merely looked back to the folder and flattened her ears. "One of my greatest fears is that Rarity will somehow get out of her room and find this folder. Then she'd find out how public her story really is."
Dr. Mind frowned and set the glass down next to a tall bottle filled with a similar amber liquid. "Well then why do you keep the silly thing around? Do yourself a favor and burn the silly hate mail she's received that you've kept from her and the dozens of newspaper articles written about her and what she did."
Dr Merrin shook her head and, with another burst of her horn, she shut the folder. "I can't do that. I have to keep this thing around to remind myself of what's at stake with her. I keep the hate mail around so that I can prove them wrong, so that I have a goal to strive towards, so that I can prove to the world that Rarity's not a..." Dr. Merrin opened up the folder and scanned one of the random pieces of paper. "'Cold-hearted spawn of Nightmare Moon that deserves to burn in Tartarus for eternity while the souls of the unfortunate foals you murdered rest easy in Paradise knowing their murderer is getting justice.' I keep the newspaper articles around to keep that first-hoof account of what it was like to be going through the murders during a time when the entire nation was talking about literally nothing else. You know how many reporters we had to turn away those first few months. Prince Blueblood could have gotten married the day after Rarity was committed and nopony would have cared." Dr. Merrin pushed a few letters and newspaper articles aside and stared at a random article. "Whenever I finish a talk with Rarity, I come back and look at this folder and remind myself that it's real. That she really did murder two of her classmates in cold blood like that."
"Technically she only murdered one. The first classmate was self-defense."
Dr. Merrin waved a hoof at Dr. Mind. "Whatever. You know what I mean. She beat two foals to death with a rock, which really just makes things even harder for me."
Dr. Mind cocked his head. "What do you mean?"
Dr. Merrin glanced over at Dr. Mind. "Do you want to know what Rarity makes me feel?"
Dr. Mind raised an eyebrow and looked down at the alcohol Dr. Merrin had been drinking. "Is this a session now? How much of this stuff did you have?"
Dr. Merrin sighed and put her head in her hooves. "It's a serious question! She makes me feel hopeless sometimes, and do you want to know why? I looked at Rarity for the first time when she came into my institution and I expected some bad seed. Some bully who spent the time when her magic was developing tearing wings off of flies, but do you know what I got? A scared filly who just wanted her mommy. As I got to know her, she seemed perfectly normal in every single way... except for what she had done. Murdered and enjoyed it."
Dr. Mind frowned and looked back over to Dr. Merrin. He walked over to one of the armchairs across from her desk and sat down in it. "And how does that make you feel hopeless?"
Dr. Merrin looked up at Dr. Mind and stared him straight in the eye. "Isn't it obvious? If a perfectly normal filly can commit the single most heinous act that anypony can ever think of and enjoy it enough that she wants to keep doing it again... what's to stop that kind of feeling from happening in anypony? I guess if you wanted to be more casual about it, you could call the feeling that Rarity attributes to the murders a monster of sorts. If Rarity is a completely normal pony, and was a completely normal filly up to that day in the woods, what's to stop the monster from appearing in any other normal pony like you or me? Is all it takes to kill somepony one moment of pure distress? To commit the single worst sin I can think of, do you just have to be pushed far enough? It seems like a distressingly simple formula to me."
Dr. Merrin slowly looked down to the folder and deeply exhaled out her mouth. "Of course the alternative is somehow just as bad: Rarity is a monster in of herself. Well then what? As I stated before, there are no books or guides to that kind of thing. She attacks you with a magical surge so I put her in solitary because I have no idea what the heck else to do with her. I can't ignore it. She attacked you and is in our care for murder."
"In the five years she's been here she's never indicated a desire to hurt anypony ever again, Cornflower," Dr. Mind pointed out. "And now this new business with the young mare tonight leads me to wonder something: have we kept her here too long?" Dr. Merrin's gaze snapped up to Dr. Mind, who raised a hoof defensively. "It's just a thought I've had. I haven't talked to Rarity about what happened tonight, but I most certainly will. As I said, she has never indicated a desire to hurt anypony ever again. She's been here for six years and doesn't even have her cutie mark."
"Do you think I had notes to compare to?" Dr. Merrin snapped. Her eyes twisted into a glare and she slammed her hoof on the desk. "You think I have some sort of timetable or symptoms list? I've already stated that there doesn't appear to need to be much to cause a pony to commit murder. If Rarity for whatever reason relapses, then what? Whose head does the fallout come down on other than hers which will literally roll when she's executed if not ours?!"
"Princess Celestia will not have Rarity beheaded if she relapses." Dr. Mind grimaced and leaned his head against his foreleg. "Given Rarity's case, I'd suspect that if Rarity did relapse and murder again, and Princess Celestia felt she had to execute her, she'd use lethal injection. That's what I understand is the more compassionate method."
"I don't care about method, just that you see my point!" Dr. Merrin pushed the folder towards Dr. Mind who visibly flinched back. "If we give Rarity a clean bill of mental health and say that she's ready to be re-integrated back into pony society and she murders again then the nation endures this all over again and we will have utterly failed in every way! We'll have failed Rarity, Princess Celestia, whomever she kills... heck, we'll have failed the entire Equestrian nation!" Dr. Merrin leaned back in her chair and slumped her shoulders, seeming to visibly deflate. "That's what had me so worried about tonight. I was worried that she was just behaving so we'd let her out so she could try something. She hates it here more than anything; even a blind pony could see that, but..." Dr. Merrin shook her head and pulled the folder back over to her with her magic. "I don't know what else to do. She's a murderess."
Dr. Mind crossed his forelegs and looked Dr. Merrin in the eye. "I'll talk to her about tonight. From what she said escape never crossed her mind. She comforted a grieving pony in her hour of need even though she knew that it might mean revoking of precious privileges, even those regarding her newborn sister. I think that shows that not only can she survive in pony society, she can flourish."
Dr. Mind shook his head and stood up. "It's late, and I know you're still getting over the shock of not knowing where Rarity was. She's fine, she's still behaving as far as I'm concerned, and I don't think she's going to murder anymore."
"But how can you be sure?" Dr. Merrin whispered. "How can you know that Rarity isn't going to be our greatest failure? She could kill again."
"I can't be totally sure right now, but I do not think that she will be a killer again in her life." Dr. Mind took a deep breath and began walking towards the door. "I'm going to get some sleep now. I suggest you do the same. I will talk with Rarity about tonight, but for now, I think that we all just need to reflect on what happened and what it means going forwards."
I love this story so much. *thumbs up five million times*
Hmm Interesting good to see the Merrin's POV really help develop the character.
Such brilliant dialogue scenes... I wish that I could write dialogue this fluently...
This piece of development for Dr. Merrin is very welcome, and another good chapter regardless.
You're doing fine doctor, at least compared to humanity's history of dealing with the unknown in behavior.
You're doing fine right up until you start shocking her, waterboarding her or jamming a massive needle into her brain to 'fix' her.
Oh, and judging by the Sweetie arc, there is no way in hell that Rarity is getting out without being hounded into doing something regrettable by the poniratzi.
3754757 Celestia and I both made it clear from the beginning that Rarity would be free at some point. The whole story isn't taking place in a mental institution. So no, Dr. Merrin really is trying to fix her to turn her back over to pony society.
The correct word to use here is latter, since you were referring to Dr. Merrin.
Weeell ... you kinda imprisoned her ... without trial, I mean some people take it the wrong way.
Edit: Also a bit of a repetition there
3754997 Fixed. Man, I even tried not to make that mistake when writing.
3755050 Repetition is intentional. Also, what were they supposed to do, let Rarity go? And why have a trial when she confessed? It's already stated in the chapter that Rarity's murders were the crime of the century in Equestria (something that Rarity has no idea about) so why have a trial with an obvious outcome where the only difference is that it's all going to be public anyway? A trial just means Rarity is in a mental institution, but she endures the public scandal and shame that she's avoided thus far.
3755093
Commit her to a mental institution after a fair and equitable trial (or hearing, or something with a bit of legal oversight), at least something to define exactly how and how long she was going to be detained
Moreover, in many countries, when the accused is a minor, the law can withhold his name and/or hold the trial without admitting the public in the courtroom.
My main "complaint" is that she is still detained after five years without a single incident, and without any idea on when she is going to get out.
3755120 Again, you're saying that coming from a society where this kind of thing is, sadly, a little more commonplace. Even Princess Celestia knows nothing about what to do here. They can't give Rarity a basic idea of when she'll be out because they have no freaking idea themselves. I quote the chapter.
They're going into this blind. All of them. The last time a foal murdered somepony, they executed her.
In Dr. Merrin's dialogue I saw what, for me, is the fulcrum of all Killer Rarityverse: are we all monsters? It really takes only a single momentary feeling of omnipotence to makes us killers? This lead to what makes these stories so awesome, they show a life consacrate to murder through an almost normal point of view, and they make you sympathize with Rarity.
I can't wait to see how she will confront herself with the outside world.
Waiting for more.
So Rarity may be getting out soon? I wonder how that's going to go...
Also, in regards to her cutie mark, I wonder if she is ever going to get it, as in show canon she had it by this point, and in the Secret Life she at the very least believed it to be linked to the murders. (Which gives the line "My destiny is a rock?" a whole new meaning...) If she does get her cutie mark, will it be the same or something different? Will it even have anything to do with gems?
I look forward to more.
3754951 I am not saying I dislike the story
I am simply saying that what that doctor is doing is not healthy for herself or Rarity
Yes in their world murder is so rare that there would be no books written on how to deal with it, but ignorance is not an excuse.
What I am speaking of is the fact that Rarity has spent almost her entire childhood in this 'institution'
A place where her only real interaction with other ponies are her 'sessions' and when her parents are allowed to visit.
Add to that it is all headed by a doctor that makes sure she reminds herself daily how dangerous Rarity is
I am just saying that there is a a reason they call it...being 'institutionalized'
The point I was making in the first comment was that if she is not released within a certain amount of time then all this doctor will be releasing is a broken pony that will never be able function in a normal society.
Once again I do like your story!
I just like to debate plot points.
Sweet chapter, can't wait to see what else you bring to the table next chapter. keep goin and stay golden^^
Great chapter, but could you update any slower? (please don't take that literally)
I actually feel bad for Dr. Merrin in this chapter. I still think she's a little too harsh on Rarity at times, but still I can see where she's coming from. The doctors have no training for something like this. It would be very nerve wracking. At least she didn't punish Rarity this time. Though if Dr. Merrin keeps stressing out like this she might end up in the hospital herself.
Love this story. Hope to read more of it soon.
You said Rarity was being released this chapter... Why is this not so ;-;
Excellent new chapter as always. I'm really liking this alternate storyline.
3784666 It didn't work like I thought. She will still be released soon.
This is a very good chapter for Merrin.
'I want you to treat this little white filly.
racist
4311614 How is it racist? Rarity was a little white filly.
Idiots sometimes, I swear.
Man I really hope this doesn't turn out like the other stories . I mean if any of the Secret Life stories would make sense with a happy ending this would be the one
That's better! I think I'm noticing a pattern here. Where the original story always got darker right after you gave a little bit of hope, this one is the opposite. When things look like they're about to get worse, the best happens. This is the optimist version of the original.
Honestly, yes. It's not a nice answer and one most will never admit, but yes. That's all it takes. Admittedly, most take a lot of torment before they get to the moment.
Based on this, it seems like Rarity's imprisonment is finally about to come to a close, still it's really sad that she basically lost 5 years of her childhood that she'll never get back. I'm fairly sure the next dozen chapters aren't gonna be sunshine and butterflies. I'm sure she'll still have to deal with Society judging her and treating her like a serial killer. Plus I'm sure that the parents of the murdered victims, and possibly the one that got away won't cut her any slack.
Alan Moore said it best.
All it takes is one bad day.
in and of herself
For Dr Merrin, it's pretty simple. She knows that, cured or not, there is nothing more that they caan do for Rarity. She also knows that, if Rarity relapses, her career is ruined. Even if she isn't fired, for the next thousand years she will be reviled as a half wit. Life doesn't come with a guarantee. She has a choice
1) Keep an innocent filly unjustly confined to a madhouse for the rest of her life
2) Risk having her career unjustly confined to a madhouse for the rest of its life.
& she doesn't have the balls to pick door #2. I have some sympathy for her. Then again. I'm not the one locked up.
It's rather easy to sympathize with Rarity, considering what we learn here. The doctors are clearly in way over their head, and I'm thinking that if Sweetie Belle hadn't been born Rarity probably would never have gotten out of there. The doctors didn't seem to be seriously considering the possibility of releasing her at all until now, despite her obvious lack of symptoms.
This is definitely not the kind of practice you'd see in the real world. In Equestria, all things considered, it's plausible, provided you suspend your disbelief and squint.
3755093
Confessing to the police is not a legal conviction. It can GET you a conviction, but only by you appearing in front of a judge and pleading guilty to him as well. she should still have been given a fair trial. if she then pleaded guilty in court, then she could have been convicted. until then, it's just one piece of evidence. a canny lawyer might have gotten her off on two counts of voluntary manslaughter. maybe even one count of voluntary manslaughter and one of involuntary manslaughter.
but of course, that's not the story you wanted to tell, and everything else comes second to the narrative you wanted to create.
10581848
That's for adults. The Juvenile Justice System has different rules. Younger than 8, they are held to lack the mental capacity to understand the full nature of their actions. 8-10 is a grey area & +10 is legally adult enough to be tried in adult court.