Part 2 Dan Vs. Pinkie Pie: Chapter 8 Pinkie Vs. Disguises
The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 2 Dan Vs. Pinkie Pie
Chapter 8 Pinkie Vs. Disguises
-oooooo-
Dan reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys.
‘Lenny’s’, huh? Well, that isn’t far. I can easily…
Dan narrowed his eyes as he noticed the lock indicator was up on his car door.
“Great”, Dan uttered to himself. “Must have left the car unlocked when I checked it this morning.”
Dan opened the car door and peered inside.
Well, it seems to be devoid of glitter…
Doesn’t matter, I’m going to find her, and make her pay!
…
Without hurting her…
…
…or arranging for her to be hurt.
DAMN CHRIS AND HIS THREATS OF VIOLENCE AND/OR LEGAL ACTION.
Well…
She hurt something I loved, I’ll just have to find something of hers and hurt it back.
Dan grinned evilly to himself behind the wheel of his car.
He started it, and pulled out into traffic.
“Nice car, tough guy,” someone called from the street.
“I WILL FIND YOU AND MAKE ORPHANS OF YOUR CHILDREN!” Dan shot back.
He didn’t have to travel far before spotting Chris’s blue sedan at a gas station.
“Hmmm,” he said out loud, “maybe this will be quicker than I thought.”
He pulled around to the back of the station and exited his car. He began to peer around the corner and…
“Hey, girl car. You can only park here if you’re filling your tires with air.”
Dan turned around to see a dark olive, lanky gas station attendant in a grey jumpsuit shooting him a dirty look from the air pump Dan had unwittingly parked next to.
“Ah! My good man! Perhaps you can assist me.” Dan said with a smile. Dan put his arms around the man and brought him around to the back of his car. “I believe there is a quarter in the back of my car, if you would be so kind as to help me look…”
-oooooo-
Chris leaned idly by the side of his car and watched the numbers on the gas pump slide up.
So nice to talk to someone about Elise without hearing about how my marriage was a mistake, for a change...
Pinkie “awed” and “oohed” at pretty much any unfamiliar sight, which was still pretty much everything at this point.
Well, things should certainly be quieter without Dan.
I just hope I can keep things from getting awkward...
Still, Pinkie is pretty good at holding a conversation, and...
Chris’s thoughts were interrupted by a familiar sound, a sound he quite wished he couldn’t identify based upon helping Dan time and time again.
“Ooh! What’s that?” Pinkie asked with a smile, inquiring about the rhythmic pounding sound.
“Oh that! That’s…nothing…” Chris said with a nervous smile. “Could you excuse me for a second? I have to…”
“…go…”
“…around that corner…”
“…that corner right over there…” Chris pointed to the back of the building
“…for no reason in particular.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie said with a trusting smile.
Chris rounded the corner of the station to be greeted by the familiar sight of Dan knocking someone senseless with the hatch of his car, over and over again.
“Dan! Stop! I think you got him!”
Dan looked up at his friend Chris and let go of the very unconscious man in his grip.
“Chris! Ol’ buddy! How’s it going?” Dan asked enthusiastically and started undressing the gas station attendant.
“Dan what do you think you’re doing.” Chris asked, afraid he already knew the answer.
“Why, revenge, of course. What else?” Dan said grinning with a mouthful of pointed teeth.
Chris put on an annoyed expression, sighed, and rolled his eyes. “What else, indeed.”
“Now Chris.” Dan roughly dropped the gas station attendant, now sans jumpsuit which Dan proceeded to try on. “I know you said some things to me that you regret, and I want you to know”-- Dan finished putting on the very loose fitting jumpsuit --"that I forgive you. I think it’s best if we”--Dan reached over and opened the door to the gas station bathroom--“put aside our differences for the sake of vanquishing”--Dan stuffed the unconscious man in the bathroom and tried closing the door, pushing it shut with the full weight of his body and a grunt when it became apparent the unconscious man was in the way of closing the door fully--“a common foe. Come, on buddy! It’ll be just like ol’ times!” Dan put out his hand and smiled wide.
“No Dan. Just no.” Chris said, quickly making an “X” with his arms and throwing them to the side.
“Oh, come on! You don’t even know who…”
“There is no way I’m going to help you get back at Pinkie Pie!” Chris said sternly.
“But look what she did to my car!” Dan insisted, motioning to his pink and bedazzled hatchback.
“Dan, if you actually looked at that for more than a second,” Chris walked over, dragged his finger over the hood and held up his now pink finger in one quick motion, “you’ll find this stuff will come off if it drizzles.”
“Eh tu, Chris? Wait…you helped her didn’t you!” Dan said accusingly.
“Oh Dan, calm down!”
“NO! If you won’t help me get my revenge…”
“Revenge against what?”
Chris and Dan both jumped slightly in their feet and turned towards the smiling, pink haired girl who had snuck up behind them. Pinkie still had smudges of pink paint on her face.
Dan quickly turned away, looked down, rubbed his index finger in a black oil puddle, held it between his nose and upper lip and turned to face Pinkie.
“Good day, madam! It’s just me…your helpful local gas station attendant!” Dan said, trying desperately to disguise his voice by dropping it an octave.
Pinkie squinted at the ‘helpful local gas station attendant’s’ chest. “Ju-an?”
“Yes! It’s me…’Ju-an’,” Dan said, quickly glancing from side to side pensively.
“It says ‘Jaun’,” Chris said flatly.
“WHAT?!” Dan said, his voice returning to its normal, enraged tone. “YOU CAN’T EVEN PRONOU… I mean…YES that is my name.”
“Well, Juan.” Pinkie said with a knowing smile, glancing at the pink, bedazzled hatch-back, “What brings you out here?”
“Oh, you know…” Juan said, desperately thinking of an innocent response, “Gas station stuff…”
“Oh hey! That reminds me!” Chris spoke up. “My windows are a bit dirty. Mind taking care of that for me, Juan?”
Juan grumbled angrily and glared at Chris.
JERK! No way he’s going to blow my cover, though…
"Of course! Wait right here!” Juan turned on his heels dropped his mustache and angrily made his way to Chris’s car.
Pinkie followed Juan with her eyes and smiled impossibly wide.
“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, OHMYGOSH!” she shrieked in excitement. “Dan likes disguises!? I LOVE DISGUISES!”
“Yeah that Dan, always beating uImean dressing up as someone.”
“He almost fooled me, too!” Pinkie said, eyelids dropping slightly and her smile changing to that of one proud of herself.
“Oh?” Chris asked in a surprised tone.
Someone would have to be pretty dense to not see through Dan’s disguise…
“Yeeeaaah,” Pinkie cooed, “but he forgot one small detail!” she added matter of factually. Pinkie placed her palm on the hood of Dan’s car and smiled to herself. She then lifted it and gazed at her palm, realizing she had just turned it pink. “Whoops.”
Juan returned, mustache held against his lip, wielding a squeegee. He quickly swung it over his shoulder splashing Chris in the process.
“Hey!” Chris said, leveling an irritated glance at Juan.
“Your car is all ready to go!”
“Thanks Juan!” Pinkie said, “Oh! We’re going to the ‘Lenny’s’ down the street! Would you like to come with us? We’d love to have your company.” Pinkie said raising her eyebrows knowingly.
“I…erm…would but…” Dan struggled to think of a convincing excuse, “I’m…allergic! To…”
“…”
“…food.”
Chris raised his eyebrows. ”You could have just said you still had work to do.”
“Yeah! That, too!”
“Oh! Well…” Pinkie trailed off. “OH! Pictures!” Pinkie warped her arm around Juan’s neck and snapped a picture of the two of them. “Great! Now you take one Chris!” Pinkie handed the camera to Chris who smiled and said, “Say Cheese!”
Pinkie smiled wide and said “Cheeeeese!”
Juan silently glared at Chris.
Pinkie looked down at her camera excitedly, then looked up. “See you around, Juany…I mean Danny… I mean Juan.” She bounded back to the car with a “tra la la la la”.
“I think she bought it!” Dan said to Chris.
“Dan, will you stop this nonsense and just join us for lunch?”
“And break bread with the enemy? I think not…” Dan said coldly, crossing his arms. “…and don’t think I’m going to let this act of betrayal slide.” Dan angrily climbed into his car.
“Fine,” Chris said, also crossing his arms. “See you at ‘Lenny’s’. Oh!” Chris grinned. “You may want to hide your pink car next time,” Chris said, pointing at the hood.
Dan frowned and looked out his windshield, noticing an effeminate looking hand print on the hood of his car. He buried his face in his palm, mumbled something obscene, started his car, and drove off.
I’ll have to step up his game with this one.
She’s clearly much smarter than she looked.
Chris shook his head, and started walking back to his car and an awaiting Pinkie Pie.
The bathroom door flew open behind him.
“Why does everything taste like pennies?!” A terrified, half-naked, gas station attendant enquired.
Chris went pale, emitted a perturbed “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh”, and made his way back to his car.
-oooooo-
Pinkie was beyond giddy at this point, “Oh! What do you think he’ll put on next?! Oh! I bet he’ll show up as our waiter! Oh! Oh! Or maybe a cook!”
“Well, sometimes with Dan you have to expect the unexpected.” Chris dwelled on this for a second. “Okay, actually always with Dan you have to expect the unexpected.” Chris pulled into the parking lot and exited the car.
“Hmnmmm….” Pinkie crossed her arms on the roof of the car and rested her head for a second, then perked up. “Clown. No! Firepon…I mean…person. NO WAIT!” Pinkie shrieked with delight holding her finger up in an ‘ah-ha’ pose. “A Walrus!” She turned her body and wrung her hands, narrowing her eyelids. “No one EVER suspects the Walrus.” She said with a knowing grin.
“Uh huuuh…”Chris said. It began to dawn on him he had swapped out one crazy friend for another flavor of crazy.
He walked to the entrance, holding the door open for Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie walked in, but still had the same knowing grin plastered on her face as she scanned the restaurant and…
“Ah HA!” Pinkie pointed to a tall waiter in a long white coat, with short stubby arms, who looked like he was having a lot of trouble balancing and holding his order of food. “Nice try, DAN, but you have to try better than the ol’ stilts and long coat routine to outsmart this pon…” Pinkie threw open the coat to reveal it was, in fact, three men with dwarfism posing as a single individual. The trio teetered and crashed into a nearby table splattering food all over the occupants and themselves.
Chris sat down at a booth and shielding his eyes, hoping no one noticed him.
Yeah, definitely just a new kind of crazy.
…Wait, why were there three men with dwarfism posing as a waiter?
Pinkie sat down across from Chris and started twiddling her thumbs. “This is hard.” She announced, staring down at her hands.
Their waitress come by and wordlessly dropped a couple of menus and waters. Chris quickly opened his and buried his head in it.
Pinkie grabbed hers and started poring over it, and inhaled as she glanced at a page. “You can order breakfast all day?!” She asked excitedly.
Chris lowered his menu, “Yep! I’m going to order the Home Run Special AND a double, bacon, cheese burger!” He said proudly, “Uh…if that’s OK with you of course.” He added, realizing he wasn’t paying for a change.
“Of course!” Pinkie said in a squeaky voice. “It’s the least I can do for last night!” Just then, Pinkie inhaled a seemingly impossible amount of air.
“Good afternoon, friends.” A short, unshaven, mustachioed man with a soul patch, in a top hat, tuxedo, and grey pants greeted Pinkie and Chris.
Chris and Pinkie stared blankly at him, until Pinkie quickly brought her camera up, snapped a quick photo, and just as quickly put it back in her bag. For one brief, shining second, the world was replaced by the dapper looking gentleman in front of her.
“Would you two do me the honor of letting me dine with you, this fine day?”
“Oh, yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!” Pinkie said.
Chris rolled his eyes, as the well-dressed gentlemen sat next to him.
The gentlemen doffed his hat at Pinkie, “My name is Moneybags. Mr. Moneybags.”
Pinkie beamed with delight and held out her hand. “My name is Pinkie Pie!” She exclaimed.
Rather than shake it, Mr. Moneybags gently took Pinkie’s hand and gave her knuckles a tiny peck. Pinkie let out an audible “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee” of delight.
Chris simply continued to look perturbed with his head in his menu.
“Chris, would you like to introduce yourself to the nice man?” Pinkie asked.
Chris set his menu down, crossed his arms, and simply glared down at the well-dressed man sitting next to him.
“Chris, that is not how we make friends.” Pinkie said in a maternal tone.
Chris narrowed his eyes at Pinkie, sighed, and extended a hand to Mr. Moneybags.
Mr. Moneybags took it and gave it a firm shake. “Charmed, I’m sure.”
Their waitress returned, placed a water in front of the well-dressed man, and coldly asked, “Are you ready to order?”
Chris ordered his special and burger, Pinkie ordered an endless stack of pancakes and some French toast, Mr. Moneybags ordered a turkey sandwich, no cheese, and no vegetables.
The waitress took their order and gave Pinkie a funny look as she walked off. Pinkie furrowed her brow and looked back at the two men sitting across from her.
“Pinkie,” Chris whispered, “your face.”
Pinkie reached up only to smear MORE pink paint on her face. “Whoops, silly me! Be right back!” She dashed for the restroom.
Chris exhaled and looked down at Mr. Moneybags.
“Dan, where did you get that outfit?” Chris asked, arms crossed.
“I spotted a Conglomerate promotion a few blocks over when I hid my car. Their 75th anniversary or something. I rolled the mascot.” Dan answered grinning to himself. “These clothes fit perfectly and they look amaaaazing!”
“Dan, this is ridiculous! Why don’t you just try being her friend?” Chris asked, throwing his hands out in front of him, palms turned up.
“BECAUSE!” Dan insisted. “She’s the enemy.” Dan’s face twisting into a sneer.
“You know she caused three dwarfs to drop a tray full of food on a table.”
“She…wha?” Dan replied, cocking an eyebrow.
“She was trying to look for you and…” Chris clenched his eyes shut, leaned his head down, and clenched the bridge of his nose with his thumb, forefinger, and middle finger. “…it sounds crazy even describing it. It’s exactly the sort of thing you would do!”
Before Dan could respond, Pinkie bounded back to the table with a happy grin, and sat back down.
“So, Mr. Moneybags! Tell us about yourself!”
Dan put back on his ‘old money’ voice, and regaled the table with the delights of being rich and owning multiple properties, houses, and hotels in between bouts of Pinkie taking photos of everyone at the table and forcing the staff to snap photos as well.
Before long, their food had arrived.
Chris hungrily dug in.
Mr. Moneybags opened his sandwich and sighed disappointedly, staring at the bright, rectangular yellow blemish on his sandwich.
Pinkie looked at the sandwich, frowned, and stood up. She walked over and put her hand on Mr. Moneybag’s shoulder and smiled warmly down at him. “I’ll take care of this, dapper Dan man.”
Pinkie grabbed the plate that was in front of Dan, walked into the kitchen and…
“WHAT IS THE BIG IDEA?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL SOMEONE?! NO CHEESE! NO CHEESE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU JUST PUT POISON IN A MAN’S FOOD?! HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU KILLED WITH YOUR CARELESSNESS!? HOW MUCH BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS?! MAKE IT AGAIN AND DON’T EMBARRASS YOURSELVES THIS TIME!”
Chris’s and Dan’s jaws dropped. Though, Chris recovered quickly enough to continue eating. Dan continued gawking at Pinkie until she sat down across from him and Chris.
“They said, they’d make you a new one and get it out to you in a jiffy,” Pinkie said sweetly, pulling her lips up into an audible squee. She grabbed a slice of plain white toast from a plate in front of her and took a small bite. “Toast?” She asked, sliding the plate towards Dan.
Dan regained his senses long enough to grab a slice and start nibbling on it.
Within a matter of minutes, a new, cheeseless, vegetableless turkey sandwich was in front of him, which he happily consumed.
After the three had finished their meals, the waitress came to fetch their plates. “Finished?” she asked, eager to get them out of the restaurant.
Pinkie smiled wide. “Dessert?” she asked.
The waitress sighed, pulled out her pad of paper and pen, and tapped her foot impatiently.
“I will have the double-chocolate sundae!” Chris exclaimed.
“Pie al a Mode, without the ‘a la mode’.” Dan said, still doing an ‘old money’ voice.
Pinkie looked across the table to someone’s yellow drink with a red tint on top, “Oooh, what’s that!?” she asked excitedly.
The waitress looked behind her and sighed. “Strawberry lemonade,” she answered flatly.
“Sounds delicious! I LOVE strawberries AND lemonade.”
“Hope you like disappointment, too.” Dan muttered, forgetting he was still pretending to be someone else.
Pinkie glanced at him.
Dan decided to clear his throat for about the next thirty seconds to detour suspicion.
Chris prayed they’d get out of the restaurant without further incident.
It was not to be.
The waitress soon returned with their order, along with a check. Placing all the dessert items in front of them along with the slip of paper.
Pinkie took a sip of her drink, leaned her head under the table, and quickly spit what she had sipped on the floor. “Blech!” she exclaimed.
Chris increased the pace of his eating, sensing he had very little time to consume his dessert.
“What IS this?” Pinkie asked with a disgusted look on her face, motioning at her beverage.
The waitress sighed, a sound the occupants of the table were getting used to. “It’s what you ordered, ma’am.”
Dan waved his hand dismissively, “Only if she ordered artificially colored sugar water with synthetic lemon and strawberry flavors.” he said in his regular tone of voice.
Pinkie’s face went red. “FAKE LEMONS AND STRAWBERRIES!? FAKE LEMONS AND STRAWBERRIES!?” she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Chris feverishly attempted to devour his sundae.
“Ma’am, if you’d like something else, I’m sure…”
“WHY?! SO YOU CAN SERVE US MORE LIES AND POISON?!”
“Gwah!” Chris grabbed his head having consumed way too much ice cream way too fast.
“AND NOW THEY’RE TRYING TO GET CHRIS, TOO! WELL NO DICE! TELL MR. LENNY THAT WE’VE SEEN THROUGH HIS TWISTED WEB OF DECENT AND MURDER!” Pinkie turned to Dan. “Mr. Moneybags!” Pinkie called out with authority.
Dan hopped to his feet, wide eyed.
“Grab Chris and RUN!” Dan grabbed his friend who rose to his feet, before either could process what was going on, Pinkie grabbed her glass and point blank threw the contents into the face of their waitress.
Their waitress wasted no time in clutching her face, collapsing to the ground, and screaming, “HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!” as she writhed in agony.
The three bolted for the door.
Once outside, Chris sprinted for his car. Pinkie stopped and grabbed Dan’s hand, causing him to turn and face her. She leaned down, put her mouth within an inch of his ear, and whispered, “We’ll be at the mall, next.” With that, she jumped in the car with Chris.
The blue sedan sped off into the distance.
Dan quickly made himself scarce, stripped back down to his jeans and ‘JERK’ shirt, and started walking back to his car, clutching most of his disguise (he opted to keep wearing the hat, not wanting to damage it).
He pondered his next move…
Maybe friendship with Pinkie wouldn’t be so bad…
After I’ve had my revenge, of course.
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pinkies learning some things thats for sure!
Dan is a terrible influence just one day and a contusion later and look at pinkie now
3199557
Pretty much EVERY detail I've added will come back into play at some point or another.
Obviously, I've sort of zigged into goofy comedy territory, and It's unlikely I'll be out of those woods for a while. Hopefully readers who are more invested in the serious side of this and the events that happened in the prologue can make it through all the chapters of zany nonsense.
So, yes, all the vague, sinister sounding stuff will definitely come back in a big way
To your point, I do need to be mindful that these important elements I've begun the story with don't sort of disappear for long stretches of time, even if ultimately dealing with them isn't going to happen for a long while yet.
It probably behooves me to include some details from what's going on with everyone still back in Equestria. Especially Twilight, who can serve as an exposition machine.
I've thankfully set myself up so a limited inclusion of the rest of the cast is pretty easy to explain.
great story thus far but one question
Where did the name The wheel and the Butterfly come from?
3205504
I was waiting for this question.
I'll actually fit this into an upcoming chapter, but I picked up the reference from a Coldplay song, Paradise.
"The Wheel breaks the Butterfly."
Originally, I thought they where referencing The Wheel of Samsara, or the Wheel of life and rebirth
However, the actual reference, I later found out, was a saying. "Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?"
"Wheel", in this case, is a torture device used for breaking bones. A butterfly, of course, is a well...
...A butterfly.
The idea being putting an unnecessary amount of effort to hurt someone.
It was an image I thought that was oddly appropriate for the pair, especially if I wanted to present a rocky beginning for the two.
3205535 ok that is ... genius!!
also i love how that perfectly descripes dans revenges
dislike the beach??? get a giant shark to eat everyone!
A rather large faux-pas in this chapter:
Dan would never order pie alamode with his lactose intolerance.
3719142
You got me dead to rights, sir.
I'll have him order it without the "a la Mode".
Thanks for pointing this out!
Edit: just wanted this comment on this chapter. I revised some things so this chapter is much closer in style to later ones.
I have no idea who Chris and Dan are. That bothers me, but I'll figure it out as it goes.
High fructose corn syrup, and Pinkie vs. Fake Lemonade.
Yes.
I get it. Pinkie's on the rag.
Also, this chapter still needs revisions. There are still some glaring autocorrect fails, such as "Sunday" (sundae) and "Decent"(pretty sure that was supposed to be "dissent" even though it doesn't even work in context anyway).
4138850
Dan Vs. good cartoon, also premiered on the hub
Oh my god. I'm laughing so hard, I can't breath. XD ...seriously though.
SOMEBODY CALL 911! I NEED A DOCTOR!
4364533
THERE IS ONLY ONE DOCTOR HERE!
They're so similar, in some ways.
my Celestia! What a couple
Do you mean marriage? Or is there an episode involving a mirage? Is..is Elise a mirage? A sentient, living illusion? Is an illusion still an illusion if it takes on life of its own, or does that make it real? A real illusion? Or is a real illusion just an actual illusion, but not really real? Hmm...
Their waitress
Poring. To pour is like pouring a pitcher of water. To pore is like poring over a menu
I'm pretty sure you meant for "decent" to be "deceit"
most of his disguise
That's all I caught through this one. I'm loving this story though!
4379682
4367927 I know! This Pinkie just keeps getting towards blacker and blacker humor!
4388881
Got these! Thank you!
4393293 also decent and murder should probably be deceit.
REVISIONS! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!
*Sundae
4459708
Got these! Thanks!
NOT HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP!!
4361486 Ok, I'm thoroughly confused. I've seen a few comments saying Vs. The Wolfman was the first episode. Wasn't it Vs. New Mexico?
4548619
I think this is a kinda weird situation where Dan Vs. New Mexico is technically the first, but Dan Vs. The Wolfman is first on the season 1 DVD.
Something I noticed is Dav Vs. The Wolfman seems to have lower production values than any other episode, which probably just makes the confusion that much worse.
OH NOES! Pinkie is turning into Dan (v.female(female version))
I saw one thing I'm not exactly sure about, but I think it's fine, so perfect!
4548619 No, I'm pretty sure it was wolfman.
I was reading this in acrwoed place, i looked like idiot surpressing my laugh
“Hmmm,” he said out loud, “,maybe this will be quicker than I thought.”
Of course! Wait right here!”
1. Extra comma not needed here.
2. Forgot your opening quotation mark.
4653631
And got these now, thanks!
Pretty sure the word you're looking for is 'deceit'.
This clearly will become immensely significant later on...
I suspect they are Time Bandits and will grab Pinkie and Dan to join them on a quest to vanquish the Devil and get rich stealing ancient artifacts.
4666244 I dunno, when you commit murder you want it to be decent, otherwise you leave too many clues for Colombo to find.
Then he won't stop pestering you with 'just one more question' until you crack and spill the beans. Which is a shame because you spent all those weeks growing your beans and harvesting them and splitting the pods and sorting them into grades, which is weird because I didn't even know beans went to school, and then you stored them all really nice and neat but then Colombo made you spill them with all the 'one more questions' and the cigar smoke, which is really bad because cigar smoke can give you cancer and if your beans get cancer they'll have to go into chemotherapy and you'll be sad if they don't make it.
4937766 exactly!
is wrong with you d
m
b
?! ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON YOUR CUSTOMERS?!"
this reminds me of the time I took a meat lover friend to a sushi and vegan restaurant, he ordered their bacon (Soy product) sandwich, a steak (Plant product) and a box of chicken wings (both soy and plant)
When the waiter, someone I would befriend and whom lends me his motorcycle because mine is being repaired by myself, came over and when my friend took a bite, he went "Baked bads" and his face turned more colors than Rainbow dash's mane before spitting it out, hitting the sushi chef between the eyes
he jumped onto the table and yelled "WHAT THE F
I picked up my tab, and crotch grabbed my friend, reducing him to tears before leading him out... the waiter came out and laughed his head off, saying that we were cool to come back because the chef (Apparently a big jerk) finally quit
4867349 The fact I read this in Pinkie's voice says something. I'm not sure what it says, but it is most defiantly something.
4867349 And if your beans don't make it, whaddya got? I mean, without the beans you worked so hard on, what are you going to eat other than the dirt Colombo kicks into your face and then after you ate it all, what will you eat then? So you travel to Germany to go to that really good vietnamese restaurant in Dresden, but it turns out Dresden was destroyed in World War 2 so you gotta go find a way to get money to buy food, so how do you do it? Just sell your body on the black market to the fucking people and then they're all like "oh you look like a pretty boy, I'll stick my dick in that butthole", but you aren't satisfied because you need more food to survive so you sell yourself a couple more times until you eventually get sick of it so you just have the crumbs of your past meals but what're crumbs gonna buy you on the black market? FUCKIN' TOENAILS?! GIVE ME A BREAK! But then you realize you're trying to buy food which isn't on the black market, so instead you go to the general store but they're like "YOU CAN'T BUY JACK WITH CRUMBS! ARE YOU CRAZY OR SOMETHING?!" And it is then that you think about all those things you did, and suddenly start showing severe signs of psychosis, sending you on a spiraling rollercoaster into the depths of insanity, and you will never be saved.
2 subtle game grumps references in one comment? WOAH!
5314747 You made the right decision.
3198190 i do think the old pinkie would react the same way to fake lemons and strawberries
Best threat ever Dan.
Good lord XD this, yes... s much yes! XD hahahaa.
I ship it so hard...
Nice job!
Good lord XD this, yes... s much yes! XD hahahaa.
I ship it so hard...
Nice job!
5904529 Ah yes, but what would he do if the man didn't have children?
Fuck it. Readthrough #3 time. I'ma post any more glaring errors I find.
Juan
You missed one. Pretty sure you meant to change this to say "Conglomerate", right?
7083777
Yep! Thanks! Fixed.
HAHAHAHAHA