The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442

Part 4 Dan Vs. Roommate: Chapter 20 Pinkie Vs. Melancholy

The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 4 Dan Vs. Roommate

Chapter 20 Pinkie Vs. Melancholy

-oooooo-

Pinkie sighed and poked at her half eaten plate of marinara sauced pasta.

“Still thinking about Dan?” Elise said, looking up from the steak she was cutting.

The two shared a cozy booth in a dimly lit restaurant. From the booth, they could look out a large window into a vast expanse of a parking lot and a mall. The parking lot was quiet, if one discounted all the police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, trucks that were literally on fire, and people rioting.

“No…well…yeah…sorta…” Pinkie admitted.

“I’m amazed you put up with him at all. You have the patience of a saint to share living quarters with that man. Especially in that tiny apartment.” Elise brought a fork full of barely cooked steak into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “I mean…I would have killed him within a week…”

“Erm…sorry Elise, but I’m not sure you’re a great metric here…”

Elise thought about this. “Well…yeah, I mean…I’ve killed for far less than anything Dan’s done to me…or Chris…” Elise leveled her fork in Pinkie’s direction. “…or you.”

“Uh, Elise? You’ve got a little something…” Pinkie rubbed a spot next to her own mouth.

Elise grabbed her napkin and daintily dabbed a little red trickle from the corner of her mouth. “Better?” she asked with a smile.

Pinkie matched the smile. “You got it.” Pinkie’s expression went thoughtful again as she rested her elbow on the table, and her head on her fist. “It’s just…when we go out we have so much fun! Just, the best! I mean…okay…things tend to get destroyed whether we intend for that to happen or not…and sometimes people get hurt… whether we intend for that to happen or not. But I always have such a blast when I go out with him…oh, and I know he has fun, too! You should just hear the laughter that comes out of him when we’re driving away from a restaurant or if we started a fire... or if we’re driving away from a restaurant we accidently set on fire…” Pinkie looked back at Elise. “He does things with me none of my other friends would even dream of doing! Heck, they’d probably try to talk me out of it! Not Dan though.” Pinkie glanced away again and began to speak in a maternal tone, “It’s never… ‘No Pinkie, you can’t fire me out of a cannon at hornets.’, or ‘A burn ward probably isn’t the most appropriate place for a luau, Pinkie.’, and even ‘A missile projectile that explodes with glitter sounds dangerous!’” Pinkie looked back at Elise, and her face shifted to a big smile. “With Dan it’s ‘Wouldn’t using a catapult to lob the hornets’ nest be more effective?’, and ‘I’m concerned we didn’t bring enough lighter fluid for the bon-fire.’...” Pinkie’s eyes went distant for a bit and her smile shifted to one of warm contentment. “’I think we need to adjust the gunpowder to glitter ratio a bit.’…”

Elise blinked a few times, not sure how to respond to what were almost certainly admissions of crimes. “Well…what about these other friends of yours?”

Pinkie sighed as her expression turned glum. “They're in another dimension.” She added sadly.

“Oh…right…” Elise said as she remembered that both Pinkie and Dan seemed to be sold on the idea that Pinkie had come from some sort of pony world…

Pinkie’s face lit up again. “But I can still talk to them! They’ve even met Dan.”

“Uh…really?” Elise answered, not sure what to make of that.

“Yeah!” Pinkie’s smile grew wider. “He even hit it off really well with a couple of them, and I think a few more are coming around to liking him, too!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Wait…” Elise said, deciding to disregard the other dimension part for a bit. “They’ve met him, and some of them like him?!” Elise asked in a shocked tone.

Pinkie nodded her head vigorously. “Uh-huh! We actually all thought my friend Fluttershy would be terrified of Dan. Ohhhh….but he was so-so-so nice to her! She talked about Dan’s emotional issues with opening up to people, and he helped her with a ‘toxic relationship’ as Dan put it.” Pinkie closed her eyes and smiled at the memory.

“You’re telling me Dan, the guy who shares an apartment with you, talked about his feelings with a friend of yours and helped her out with her relationship?!” Elise said in disbelief.

“Oh, he was the most helpy-helpfulest-help giver I ever SAW!” Pinkie insisted.

Elise thought about this for a second. “Are you sure it wasn’t just some guy claiming to be Dan who looked a lot like him?” Elise asked with a raised eyebrow, the question an oddly likely explanation.

“Well…” Pinkie thought for a second. “He also kept calling one of my other friends a ‘nerd’ and flipped off a bunny, so I’m pretty sure it was Dan.”

“…Yeah, okay, that sounds like something Dan would do. So…today…” Elise continued.

Pinkie’s excited expression surrendered to her mopey, sad one. “Oh, I don’t know… I guess…” Pinkie paused trying to sort her thoughts out.

“I try to be super nice and friendly with Dan and even make yummy-lactose-free foods for him, but he often makes me feel like I’m intruding in his space at home…”

Elise struggled with telling Pinkie she should consider moving out.

She was just so happy looking talking about Dan 30 seconds ago…Also Dan seems to rope Chris into his schemes a lot less now that he can conscript Pinkie to help him…And when he does get Chris involved…

…Wow! I haven’t had to post bail for anyone in about a month!

“Elise?”

“Oh, sorry Pinkie.” Elise smiled, “I was just thinking about how much better things are now that you’re Dan’s friend.”

Pinkie’s eyes lit up, “REALLY?!” She asked excitedly, even tearing up a little.

Elise reached a hand over to her friend’s shoulder, “Really.” She reassured with a warm smile.

“Good.” Pinkie’s eyes went distant and her smile went warm once more. “It seems like almost every day with him turns into an adventure…maybe not always the adventure I wanted…but I’m used to that, too. It’s fun and exciting and maybe a little terrifying at times, but it’s sort of like how things were back at home. Being here with Dan…” Pinkie trailed off for a second and looked back at Elise. “…it makes me less homesick, somehow…” She said as tears welled up behind her eyes.

Elise dwelled on this for a bit.

I’m probably going to regret saying this, but…

“…I think Dan likes you, too.”

“I hope so…”

“No, I think he really does…I just don’t think he really knows how to express it with…well…anybody, really.”

Pinkie pondered this. “Do you think he’ll start being nicer to me?” Pinkie asked hopefully.

“Oh, I’m sure he will if he keeps on fearing you’re going to stab him repeatedly,” Elise said with a chuckle.

Pinkie’s expression went neutral. “Yeah…I just wish I could get through to him without threatening violence against him.”

“Take it from someone who's known Dan for far longer than she cares to remember: violence is often times the only language he understands.”

“Heh…yeah, I guess…”

A couple of armored SWAT vehicles pulled up, and fully armored SWAT personnel complete with riot shields poured out. Soon outside was filled with calls from megaphones asking the crowd to disperse, angry cries from rioters, and tear gas.

The two looked out with a detached level of curiosity, then went back to their meals.

“So, what kind of movie do want to see?” Elise asked.

Pinkie looked up to the ceiling with a “Hmmmmmmm…” tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Slasher flick,” she answered simply, looking back.

Elise paused mid-bite. “Pinkie, the last time we all went out to a movie like that, Dan’s and my ears started ringing you and Chris were screaming so loud.”

Pinkie quickly slurped a bunch of pasta, the red marinara sauce splattering up and all over her face. “I know, but I’m in a real mood to see some bloodshed tonight, for some reason,” Pinkie explained simply.

Elise went silent, and finally said, “...Uh, Pinkie? You’ve got a little something…” Elise moved her palm in a circular motion in front of her own face.

Pinkie grabbed her napkin and toweled away the red sauce she had just sprayed over herself. “Better?” She asked with a smile.

Elise matched her smile. “Much,” she answered.

A brick suddenly smashed through the window. A crazed, but otherwise normally dressed man draped his body through the now shattered window and screamed. “ALL IS VANITY!” Before a team of SWAT members wrestled him to the ground. Tear gas began to billow in through the shattered window.

Pinkie sighed and buried her face in both palms. “Just ONCE I’d like to buy several outfits of clothing and not have everyone make a big deal out of it.”

Elise reached into her purse and pulled out a couple of gas masks, handing one to Pinkie. “Here, put this on.”

Pinkie looked surprised. “You keep gas masks in your purse!?” she exclaimed.

“You know, I end up using them with surprising frequency,” Elise said, shrugging with both shoulders and her eyes.

Pinkie smiled. “Elise…I really miss my friends…but I want you to know that you’re all the best people I could ever hope to meet.” Pinkie donned her gas mask and smiled warmly at her friend.

“Thanks Pinkie, you too,” Elise said, smiling back as she put her own mask on.

“Dessert?” Pinkie asked, grabbing a thin menu and holding it up in front of her face plate.

A waiter with tears streaming down his face coughed and fled past the two women, tripping several times as he made his way to the exit. He was followed by the rest of the occupants of the restaurant.

Pinkie sat her menu down. “Or maybe not.”

“There’s a frozen yogurt place down the street. I don’t think it’s been vandalized or set on fire yet.”

Pinkie gasped. “Can I add my own toppings?!”

Elise stood and left a few bills on the table. “Absolutely!” she said with a smile and a nod.

“Yay!” Pinkie said, excitedly cupping her hands together and bringing them up to her mask.

Elise made her way to the exit as Pinkie giddily followed. Together, the two navigated the carnage and made their way back to the blue sedan.

Author's Note:

4:20 Watch ponies every day.

Comments

[Justice3442]

3310653

Edit: Also your screen name made me

[Justice3442]

3310835
He doesn't and maybe I should go back and address it somehow.

Then again, the fact that Elise kept it a secret at all was sort of a miracle.

So yeah, there's sort of an unmentioned event where Dan and Chris find out between the end of season 3 in and the story.

Warning possible minor Dan Vs. spoiler
Though, there's a season 3 episode where Dan knows to grab Elise's military pass for a scheme. Kinda makes you wonder if he started paying a little more attention to all the hints Elise drops.

[Justice3442]

3310902
I'm glad somepony thinks Dan's piecing together events is in character for him.

Although, I'm sure other's do. I'm guessing they're just shy.

[Justice3442]

3310756
I'll reread this section and maybe add this.

I've done one revision with the earlier chapters as they where rather rough when I first posted them, but somehow I can't help but feel part 1 at least could us a good reread.

[Justice3442]

Alright, the prologue is indeed changed.

Thanks, Red Otaku, for pointing out that paragraph. Sometimes less is more, but I think in this case less was less...I revised to something pretty close to what you suggested.

I also revised it to read more like the later chapters. More the characters thoughts being exposed for the readers than me telling the readers what the characters are thinking.

[Justice3442]

Seriously though.

I think Elise has no friends because she'd probably drop what her job is in casual conversation within a week of knowing them and have to fix the situation...

Or maybe all her friends now hang out under the backyard on a permanent basis because of this fact...

[Justice3442]

3311693

I'm a pretty shameless reference whore.

I've never seen the movie, but he was what I visualized when I typed up the Mall cop.

[Justice3442]

3311889

[JBGrim]

Hasbro should hire you to make this a show!

[Justice3442]

3312788

Thanks for saying so.

[Spirit Shift]

3311707
its cool references are awesome if you place them right
3311409
No problem
3311209
yea he does it alot in the show
3311193
nahh dont worry about it. it kinda makes your story better as works for both humor and drama when needed

[eisenstein80060]

Found another one

Tear gas began to "bellow" in

"Billow" I don't think tear gas can shout.

[Justice3442]

3899602

Got it, thanks!

[Frission]

Psychic!!

4:20 Watch ponies every day.

I literally finished reading this chapter right at 4:20 my time.

[MythrilMoth]

Every~day young life cor~rec~tions!

COMMAS THAT SHOULD BE PERIODS:
Elise leveled her fork in Pinkie’s direction,
Pinkie matched the smile,
Pinkie looked back at Elise, (the first time this appears, not the second)
and her face shifted to a big smile,
her smile shifted to one of warm contentment,
not sure how to respond to what were almost certainly admissions of crimes,
Pinkie sighed,
Pinkie’s smile grew wider,
Pinkie nodded her head vigorously,
Elise thought about this for a second,
sad one,
Elise smiled,
Pinkie’s eyes lit up,
Elise reached a hand over to her friend’s shoulder,
Pinkie pondered this,
Pinkie’s expression went neutral,
Elise paused mid-bite,
Elise matched her smile,
in both palms,
Pinkie looked surprised,
Pinkie smiled,
Pinkie sat her menu down,
Pinkie gasped,
Elise stood and left a few bills on the table,

PERIODS THAT SHOULD BE COMMAS:
“There in another dimension.”
“Really.”
stab him repeatedly.”
“Slasher flick.”
for some reason.”
“Much.”
and screamed.
surprising frequency.”
you too.”

SHOULD NOT BE CAPITALIZED:
She asked with a smile.
She added sadly.
She asked excitedly
She reassured
She said
She answered simply
She asked with a smile.
She answered.
Before a team
She exclaimed.
She said with a smile and a nod.

Other:

Elise thought about this...

Should just be a period there.

“There in another dimension.”

They're

Elise said remembering

Comma after 'said'

decided to disregard

deciding

Elise asked shocked.

Comma after 'asked'

You’re telling me, Dan,

Delete that first comma.

remember;

Should be a colon.

A coupled armored

couple of armored

tear-gas

'tear gas' is not hyphenated

Pinkie sighed, and buried her face

Delete this comma.

holding it up in front of her face plate

Missing period at the end there.

[Hesitant Brony]

3312788
I am both terrified and intrigued by this idea.
you have my support.

[Justice3442]

4364125

And done!

[Brandon Sky]

SWAT Team called in to stop a riot? For Pinkie, it was just Tuesday.

[Gyro Steambass]

[Sidetrack]

4457538 blank comment. one upvote, one downvote. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

[the other sans]

I feel... a strong reference to this video

Now for her to follow up on the second part Or would that be Elsie doing that?

[MidnightFMare]

4655321
your avatar is perfect for that comment
LYRA: Wub my belly~
I just finished rubbing Luna... my hands hurt...
Lyra: feet then
... fine

[CV12Hornet]

I still don't get the whole thing with the buying of outfits.

[pURPLECHUG]

5469440
I don't really either, but my best guess is because cartoon characters almost never wear more than one outfit (because animating or drawing them in different clothing is too much effort). So to the cartoon characters who wear the exact same outfit every day of their life, more than one outfit would be odd. Though the reactions I see here seem to be put to the extreme (while still very amusing)
I have no prior knowledge of this "Dan vs" thing (which I literally just looked up to actually find out it's a thing. Looks pretty cool) so this is all assumptions I made from reading this fic haha

[UnseenShadow1248]

5469440 It's a joke about how cartoon characters wear the same clothes every day. When someone doesn't, they riot...apparently

[Tatsurou]

5470409
The 'reactions to the extreme' is a standard of Dan vs.

[Boulder]

“Erm…sorry Elise, but I’m not sure you’re a great metric here…”

Doesn't really make sense, maybe 'measure'

Who needs a slasher flick around Pinks, just look out of any window at her carnage.

[e520]

I thought that ALL IS VANITY thing was a liberal crime squad reference

[nicksterra]

7462962
This is a very common phrase in the U.S.

I suspect you are a spess alleehn.

[Boulder]

7747206 No, I'm an Australian that uses the Commonwealth English language as does most English speaking countries do. 'Merican English should be added to Google and Bing translator sites as an option.
At least I'm not Uranium 238.

[Somber Star]

7827166
"Metric" means "standard by which something is measured". It's where the term for the system stems from, and why.

[UndeadSketches]

A crazed, but otherwise normally dressed man draped his body through the now shattered window...

This phrase made me crack up for some reason.
Maybe I'm just weird.

[TheGreatEater]

7827166

What 9177058 said.

Maybe before being kind of an ass about where a person's from. Maybe you could open up a dictionary? Since you want to take a crack at how people use language maybe you should learn the language yourself more?

Merriam-Webster

Definitions.net

It's not that uncommon of a usage.

[Chancegunnett]

A couple of armored SWAT vehicles pulled up, and fully armored SWAT personnel complete with riot shields poured out. Soon outside was filled with calls from megaphones asking the crowd to disperse, angry cries from rioters, and tear gas.

Yep... sounds like California