The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 15 Pinkamena Vs. Dan*
Chapter 144 Sarge Vs. Tyra
-ooooooo-
Elise held a rectangular device in front of her, the light from its screen casting a faint glow on her face as she squinted down at it. Behind her walked the others who had arrived in the blue sedan, in addition to the power-armor-clad Lady.
The Lady walked uncomfortably close to Elise and peered over her shoulders through her black visor at the device. Elise would occasionally glance up from her screen to shoot the Lady an irritated glance. Chris walked behind Elise shooting his own nervous glance at Jean occasionally. Jean’s attention kept shifting from the device in Elise’s hand to the Lady’s power armor, a slightly detached smile adorning his face. Pinkie trudged behind the group, her pink bag slung across her front, and a large red chainsaw case in her right hand. She had returned to scowling at just about everything. This included the group in front of her… Especially the group in front of her. Mr. Mumbles simply sat on Pinkie’s shoulder with a happy expression on her face.
Elise suddenly stopped and let out a frustrated snarl as she wheeled on the Lady. “Stop crowding me! I think that cobbled together, string-and-tin-can-suit of yours is interfering with my signal.”
The group stopped walking. Chris glanced nervously up at Elise, then shifted his look towards the Lady. Pinkie just narrowed her eyes and tightened her lips at the interruption.
The Lady simply smirked. “Well, unlike your cruddy, government-issued equipment, mine’s working fine,” she said as if the word ‘cruddy’ might as well have been a synonym for ‘government-issued’.
Elise glared at the Lady. “Alright, first of all I designed, built, and tested this system and it’s incredibly reliable! Second…” Elise trailed off as she remembered back on all the devices her work had given her that she herself had to repair. “…Alright, so I don’t have a ‘second’. However, this device works perfectly so long as the trackers can get a clear GPS signal. There must be something interfering…”
“Or maybe the person who designed, built, and tested that device didn’t do as good a job as she thought,” the Lady retorted.
“Hey!” Elise snapped. “Well if you’re so sure your equipment is working, you tell me where the wolf-man is!”
The Lady nodded. “I thought you’d never ask…” She paused and stared off at the warehouses. The Lady’s smile slowly turned to a frown as she continued to stare through her visor in an attempt to get data. “Well, this can’t be right…”
Elise smirked. “Your mob buddies forget to get you a fresh set of double-As?”
“Be quiet!” The Lady commanded. “My sensors seem to either be detecting a number of people or other heat sources in these buildings, up to what seems close to an army… or nothing at all… Maybe something is interfering…”
Elise chuckled. “Must be your second-rate mafia technology.” She said as if the phrase ‘second-rate’ might as well have been a synonym for ‘mafia technology’.
“Don’t you back-talk me, young lady!”
Chris continued to look back and forth nervously between Elise and the Lady. Jean simply observed with a look of detachment. Pinkie narrowed her eyes and glared angrily at the two ladies. Mr. Mumbles continued to sit on Pinkie shoulder with a happy expression on her face.
“Excuse me?” Elise replied. “I’m hardly a young lady.”
“Well, you still shouldn’t talk to your elders or betters that way.”
“BETTERS?!”
Pinkie gritted her teeth as an eye twitched. “Would you two shut the heck up and focus for crying out loud?!” she cried shrilly. “Geez-Louisey, you’re like a nagging mother who also happens to be a world class assassin and a daughter who can’t seem to get her parents approval despite the fact that she has multiple PhDs and is one of the top agents in her field of her shadowy, quasi-governmental organization!”
Elise and the Lady immediately stopped their bickering and turned towards Pinkie, nervous expressions slathered across their faces.
“Huh,” Jean uttered. “Well, that was oddly specific…”
“Wait a minute…” Chris said as he stared at the Lady. “How come you’re acting so familiar with Elise despite only meeting her once before?”
The Lady tensed slightly.
Elise reached into her jacket and pulled out a king-sized Snickers bar. “Chris, I will give you this candy bar if you immediately stop asking questions.”
Chris snatched the candy bar and unwrapped it in one swift movement. In a matter of moments, he was chewing on chocolate, peanuts, caramel, and nougat. “Iw’m sworry… What wwere we twalking about?”
Elise nodded. “Good job.”
“… Good job what?”
The Lady tilted her head slightly and frowned at Elise.
Elise narrowed her eyes in response, quite certain she was getting a disapproving look from under the power suit’s visor. “Oh give us a break, we’ve been running around trying to rescue Dan and dealing with a wolf-man all day for crying out loud!”
“I don’t see what any of that has to do with memory-erasing candy bars…”
“Oh my gosh, you two!” Pinkie exclaimed in an irritated tone. “Just shut up already! Holy cheese-balls! And everyone thinks I have trouble keeping focused.”
Elise and the Lady both sighed.
Elise turned towards the Lady. “Let’s just try to get through this one job, alright?”
The Lady nodded. “Agreed.”
Both girls stared out at the handful of massive warehouses still in front of them.
“Well…” Elise said. “I guess we narrowed it down a bit.”
“We can split up and search them!” Chris suggested.
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “And then get murdered one-by-one once we’ve separated? Great idea, Chris!” Pinkie said sarcastically. “Why don’t we all grab scissors and start running around to make phoney-Dan’s job that much easier?”
“Hey!” Chris protested. “I was just trying to help!”
“Well… help better!” Pinkie snapped. “With all the horror movies you and Dan watched, I can’t believe you’d even suggest that… No wait, yes I can. You’re an idiot.”
Elise shot Pinkie a scowl. The Lady laughed out loud, causing Elise to shift focus back towards her.
“Don’t encourage her!” Elise snapped.
The Lady grinned. “What? I think I like her much more this way!”
Elise smacked a hand against her forehead. “Shut up…” she murmured.
Chris shifted nervously as he looked down at Pinkie. “Well… I have my eyes closed for those most the time.”
“Me too,” Pinkie replied. “But I at least learned something from them! I mean…. D’uuuuuh! Not splitting up is horror movie 101 stuff!”
The Lady pointed towards Pinkie. “Yeah, she seems much more on the ball this time around.”
“GAH!” Elise cried in frustration. “What are you talking about? This is the first time you’ve even met her!”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Elise, would you give it a rest? We all figured out it’s your stupid mom under that stupid power armor!”
Elise and the Lady’s bodies both went completely rigid.
Chris’s eyes went wide. “Wha… what?”
“I didn’t!” Jean said. “But I only met both Elise and her mother today, so that’s hardly surprising.”
“Meow,” Mr. Mumbles mewed.
“Pinkie!” Elise cried.
“Whaaaaaaat~?” Pinkie wailed.
“That was supposed to be a secret!” Elise exclaimed.
“Well then you should have done a better job of keeping it!” Pinkie shot back.
Chris stared at the Lady in disbelief. “You’re Elise Sr.?!”
The Lady sighed and brought one of her arms in front of her. A compartment suddenly opened revealing a king-sized Snickers bar. She grabbed a hold of it. “I will give you this candy bar if you never speak a word of this to anyone besides those here. Especially Don.”
Chris looked at the candy bar carefully. “I just ate one of those not a few minutes ago…”
The Lady frowned.
“… It was delicious.” Chris continued. He reached out for the candy bar. “So, of course the answer is ‘yes’.”
The Lady smiled as Chris took the candy bar and began devouring it.
Elise smirked at her mother. “See! It can be useful at times.”
The Lady sighed. “Yeah, yeah… Let’s just start checking these—”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow at the Lady. “Why is your power armor full of water and snacks and stuff? I mean… couldn’t that be more room for bullets and missiles and junk?”
The Lady turned and tightened her lips. Trying to convey she was scowling as best she could with only her mouth visible. “Sometimes jobs take a long time, alright?!” She looked down and motioned to her own suit. “It’s not like I can just pop over to the closest vending machine in this getup!”
“Are ye all done carryin’ on like a pack of agitated dogs?”
The group look up as a woman with long red hair wearing a blue-sun dress stared back at them with an impatient look, almost as she had been standing there for quite some time already.
“The Lady!” the woman hissed.
“Fairy Girl…” The Lady said through a sneer.
Chris looked between the two ladies at they had an intense stare down. “You two know each other?”
Elise’s eyes went wide. “Fairy Girl is one of the world’s top assassins! She’s legend… Her file goes back decades… and there’s rumors she’s been at it for far longer than that.”
Fairy Girl grinned. “Aye… It has been fun toying with you mere mortals over the centuries.” She tossed a glance at Pinkie. “Though I’m supposed to help deliver the pink-haired girl here for a wee-bit of revenge on her boyfriend.”
Pinkie sighed and rolled her eyes. “You don’t say.”
“I was the one who broke into your apartment to help the vampires.”
“I so don’t care!”
Fairy Girl narrowed her eyes. “Your boyfriend decapitated me.”
Jean raised an eyebrow. “Decapitated?”
Fairy Girl shrugged. “I got better.”
“OH MY GOSH!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I JUST DON’T CARE! HOW IS THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?! IF YOU’RE GOING TO FIGHT US, THEN GET ON WITH IT SO I CAN STAB YOU UNTIL YOU SHUT UP!”
Fairy Girls eyes widened. “Well someone has a wee bit of a temper.”
“She had her boyfriend kidnapped,” Elise said. “So she’s having an off day. But I’m sure you knew all about that.”
Fairy Girl chuckled. “Aye…” She turned towards the Lady. “Still… business before pleasure…”
The Lady grinned. “Sounds good to me. It’ll be nice to move up to the fourth spot in the most wanted list.”
Fairy Girl shook her head. “You’re nothing compared to me, but you’re already in the fourth spot.”
“Oh?” The Lady asked.
Fairy Girl nodded. “The Dandy met an unfortunate accident in Bangkok a few weeks back.”
“You killed the Dandy?!” The Lady exclaimed.
“No…” Elise murmured to herself.
Chris opened his mouth to speak, but Jean was quicker.
“Who’s ‘the Dandy’?,” Jean asked.
Chris let out a quiet sigh.
“He was the number two on the FBI’s most wanted list…” Elise said.
“And a former partner of mine,” the Lady said through gritted teeth. “Elise, carry on with your little mission. This just got personal.”
Elise shot the Lady a concerned look. “Are you sure you don’t need any—”
“I’ll be fine, Junior! Now go…”
Elise opened her mouth to protest the nickname, but thought better of it.
The Lady balled her armored hands into fists, threw her arms into the air, and shouted at the heavens.
"FAAAAAAAAAIRYEEEEEEE GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL!"
The Lady
Vs.
Fairy Girl
Pinkie let out a long sigh as she stared up into the air, one of her eyelids twitching as if she was staring directly at something that was irritating her. “Let’s just go already…”
-ooo-
Sarge raised his bell high into the air and brought it down hard. The metal of the bell thumped against hard scales as the bell gave another ring.
“RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRR!”
Tyra roared in protest and shook her head from side to side in attempt to shake off the man who was straddling the back of her neck.
Sarge repeatedly brought his bell up and brought it down on the Tyra’s head, but the more he and the beast struggled, the less he found his legs were keeping him in place. With his good arm in a cast he wasn’t sure how long—
“WoaaaAAAAAAH!”
Sarge flew through the air as his legs lost their grip on Tyra’s neck. His trip was cut short as he flew into the side of a silver sedan.
‘CRRRRRRRSSHHHH!’
Glass broke and metal bent from impact with Sarge’s massive back. His black suit jacket protected his body from any of the small, glittering pieces of safety glass that shot out in all directions, however he felt the hard impact of the metal on his body all the same.
Sarge slumped to the ground and let out a small groan.
‘THOM!’
‘THOM!’
He could hear the stomps of the Tyrannosaurus-rex grow closer. He set his bell down next to him and reached into his coat. He then pulled out another bell, held it up as high as he could while still laying on the ground and shook his wrist.
‘THOM!’
‘THOM!’
‘Ringa-ringa-ringa-ring…’
‘THOM!’
‘THOM!’
“RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!”
Sarge looked up into a massive open maw lined with dagger-sized and shaped teeth. “Well…” he uttered with a fright-filled look. “It was worth a try…”
Tyra reared back her head, jaw still open wide, and brought it downward
Out of the corner of his eye, Sarge saw a rectangular chrome item, about a foot long, half a foot wide, and eight inches deep, sail through the air.
‘Thwslop!’
The item made a soft plopping sound as it hit Tyra in the eye.
“RRROOOOAAARRROOOOAAARRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!”
‘THOM!’
‘THOM!’
Tyra made a distressed roar and began to stomp off, shaking her head vigorously. Soon, the shaking dislodged a toaster from her eye. It sailed away from the dinosaur with its power cord trailing behind it, and fell through a window of a nearby coffee shop, shattering the window before disappearing inside.
“You rang?” A famine voice called out.
Sarge grinned as he propped himself up with his good arm. “I wasn’t sure you’d come, commander… you know… after I uh… started aiding the enemy…”
The short, auburn-haired woman shook her head. Instead of her uniform, she wore a black sweater and black skirt that went down to around her knees. She walked on a pair of black high heels, a red purse slung over her shoulder. She held a couple of beat-up toasters by their power cords, both swayed slightly as they dangled next to her knees.
The commander reached into her purse with her free hand and pulled out a small bell. “Nonsense… Some things are much more important than a stolen car, toaster, couch, or even a few injuries.” She looked up at the massive dinosaur that continued to make a mess of the street, smashing cars with her feet and tail as it continually blinked with the eye that had just gotten hit with a toaster. “I’d say this is one of those things,” the commander uttered.
Tyra slowly turned her head towards Sarge and the Commander and narrowed her eyes.
Sarge stood up to his feet and saluted with his good hand. “Apologies for not saluting with my right, sir.”
The commander shook her head. “At ease, soldier. Now stand beside me as I rally the troops.”
“Yes, sir!” Sarge said as he obediently stood beside the commander, towering over her with his massive size.
The commander held her bell high and rung it. The high-pitched ring was soon joined by similarly sounding rings that seemed to come from every corner of the city around them.
Tyra moved her head from side to side as the unexpected sound filled the air.
A trickle of people emerged from alleyways and buildings, weaving past the line of abandoned cars and smashed debris of the streets. Soon a trickle turned into a torrent, then a flood of people of all genders and races, wearing all sorts of clothing. Some carried used electronics, or pushed bins full of clothing. Others came out wearing sports protection gear and holding balls, baseball bats, or even golf clubs. More gripped a pot, pan, knife, or even a ladle in one hand. There was one thing they all had in common, and that was they all held bells in their right hands that they rang as they approached.
Tyra stood in place as her massive lips curled up revealing her razor sharp teeth, scanning her eyes over the army of people who had suddenly arrived as their bells fell silent.
The Commander grinned up at Sarge. “Would you like to do the honors?”
Sarge’s face lit up. “Can I?” he asked excitedly.
The commander nodded. “You already started this clean-up operation, so you might as well finish it.”
Sarge straightened his back, ignoring the pain that shot through it as he did, and held his head high as he began to bark out, “Speak up, men and women of thrift. Tell us all who you are. ”
The people behind Sarge and the commander answered in one single, unified voice. “We are the soldiers of the Salvation Armed Forces. We are the keepers of the donated!”
Sarge continued, “Well then, soldiers of the Salvation Armed Forces, I ask you: What do you hold in your right hand?”
The members of the Salvation Armed Forces raised their bells. “A mighty bell!”
“Well then, soldiers of the Salvation Armed Forces, I ask you: What do you hold in your left hand?”
The thrift store workers lifted up a random assortment of items. “Gently used clothing and housewares!”
“Now, show them who you are, soldiers of the Salvation Armed Forces! We're retail workers, and yet not retail workers! We are clothing experts, yet not clothing experts! We are money collectors, yet not money collectors! We are military, yet not military! We are soldiers in the service of charity, who bow our heads in reverence to the once used goods, and whose price tags are found on the withered bodies of our enemies! With deals served every holiday, and bells ringing in the darkness! We are the fighters of thrift, we are the workers of the shelves of knick-knacks, and upon the hour at which were are called, we sort through the bins of the donations, and hold our bells up high!”
The army behind Sarge answered once more, “Thus, do we move to clean up our aisles as a mighty army, and form our squared ranks against the fallen glassware and discarded clothing, and prepare for the endless flow of gently used goods!”
Sarge lifted his bell in the air and began ringing it. The commander and all the other members of the salvation armed forces followed his lead and soon the only sound anyone could hear was the deafening chorus of hundreds of handheld bells.
Tyra cringed as the noise reverberated through the city street. She opened her mouth and let out a mighty roar as she lifted her heavy legs and trudged onwards to the mass of people.
“APPLIANCES AND KITCHENWARES, GO!” Sarge commanded.
The commander and many other members of the force behind her and Sarge suddenly shifted their left hands. Knives, pots, pans, spoons, and forks flew into the air. Some started spinning appliances by their power cord until they spun at dangerously fast speeds where they were released towards the charging dinosaur.
Tyra suddenly halted as used kitchenware and home appliances suddenly rained from the sky upon her like a hailstorm of heavy metal and plastic. Most bounced harmlessly off her thick scaly hide, but a few items connected hard and smashed against her body. Microwaves flattened as glass shot out from their doors. Vacuum cleaners broke into pieces. Heavy pots clanged as they dropped upon her.
“SPORTING GOODS, GO!”
Tyra looked up as the avalanche of utensils, cookware, and appliances subsided. She caught a glimpse of men and women wearing various pads and protective gear and brandishing bats, clubs, and even ski-poles rapidly approaching before a wave of balls from all different sports began to collide with her face and snout. She pulled her head back slightly and looked away, but soon felt blows from around her body as clubs and bats were swung into her, and ski-poles poked her. The ringing was absolutely deafening.
“CLOTHING DEPARTMENT AND LINENS, SECURE THE ANIMAL!”
Before she knew it, Tyra felt something puller her legs out from under her. She hit the ground hard causing the entire area to shake. She felt her legs being restrained, quickly followed by her jaws as makeshift rope made from tying together pieces of clothing, sheets, and blankets were secured around her.
Through it all the noise and chaos, Tyra finally picked out a particular ring she had heard before as it slowly got louder.
Tyra opened her eyes to see a now familiar bell being held above her. A bell that suddenly came down.
She felt a hard blow to the top of her head and then nothing.
-ooooooo-
“So… Do you think they’ll come to rescue us?”
Amber groaned out a sigh and stared down at her long blond hair that dangled below her. She shifted her head and stared as far to her side as she could, but it was no use. She couldn’t make eye contact with the teenaged boy tied against her back.
“I know you’d been checking your phone up until the point we got tied up!” Amber said in an irritated voice. “You know everyone is probably busy saving themselves!”
Hanging upside down, a rope tied around his arms, legs, and body keeping his back firmly pressed against the woman behind him, Gibson shifted his shoulders slightly in a shrug. “Still! I mean… Someone has got to be done with whatever thing they had to deal with… I’m way too young and handsome to die!”
“You’re assuming they’re doing any better than we are…” Amber attempted to peer out into the darkness as she and Gibson slowly spun about, but couldn’t make out anything. The dim light from above them only provided a few feet of visibility from where they hung, and that just meant she was getting acquainted with the cracks in the concrete floor below. “I mean… If a bunch of crazy balloon cultists were available to surprise and overpower us, who knows what else is out there?”
Gibson went quiet for a beat. “… I think I miss your positive, optimistic attitude…”
Amber rolled her eyes. “You might be the only one…”
“Well, I mean… you smile a lot more when you’re pretending to be in a good mood…” Gibson said. “Even if it looks kind of fake, you’re still very pretty when you smile…”
It was Amber’s turn to go quiet as she tried to figure out a proper response. “Uh… thanks…”
“Anytime,” Gibson replied. He sighed. “Well… at least I’m pressed up against an attractive girl… even if I rather be facing the other direction.”
Amber furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to protest, but she stopped herself as she dwelled on the situation. We’re both trapped and are likely going to die... Just take the damn compliment. “Thanks Gibson… Even though you’re really young and I find your attention mildly creepy, you’re pretty handsome yourself.”
“… Really?!” Gibson said in a cheerful tone. “What do you think is my best feature? I’m pretty happy about my hair, but I think I have a pretty nice body going on… What do you think?”
Amber shook her head. “Don’t push it.”
“SILENCE!”
Amber and Gibson looked up, straining their heads to their sides as a man in an ashen-colored robe emerged from the darkness. His eyes were obscured by a hood pulled over his head. A black emblem that resembled a four-winged pterodactyl was set on the front of his robe. He pulled a long, wavy sword from out of the darkness and pointed it at Gibson. “We shall sacrifice the virgin in the name of our balloon god, Helios.”
“Awww man,” Gibson said. “I knew mom was wrong about sex not being the most important thing ever!”
“… Wait…” Amber said as she glanced up, or down in this case. “Your balloon god is named ‘Helios’? That’s the Greek god of the sun! You can’t just co-opt the name because it sounds like something that makes things float!”
“BE QUIET!”
Another cloaked figure emerged from the shadows, a couple of floating, colorful balloons held in his right hand. He turned towards the man with the sword. “See! I told you it didn’t make sense! We don’t even use helium in our balloons! Why was it even an option?!”
The man with the sword wheeled on the cultist that just emerged from the shadows. He leveled an angry index finger. “SHUT UP, STEVE! I’m sick and tired of your negative attitude! We all voted for the name ‘Helios’!” You’re like… a constant… stabbing… pin… in my abdomen.”
Gibson stared out in confusion. “You voted for the name of your balloon god?! What kind of stupid balloon cult is this?!”
“I… SHUT UP!” the man with the sword commanded as he turned back to face Gibson.
Amber cocked an eyebrow as she and Gibson continued to slowly spin. “You couldn’t even come up with a balloon metaphor just now? Like… ‘You’re a leak that’s slowly letting all the air out, Steve’? There! Took me like… two seconds!”
Gibson smiled as he began to spin back towards facing the other two. “Or a sandbag that’s keeping this balloon operation weighed down!”
“Hey, they’re good!” Steve said with a smile. “Maybe we should ask them to join instead of killing them.”
The other cult member sighed. “Steve you’re just… a big bag of… heavy stuff… keeping us from achieving… lift.”
“Oh my gosh!” Amber exclaimed. “Gibson spoon-fed you that line and you still screwed it up!”
“I know, right?” Gibson said. “Talk about an airhead,” he said with a chuckle.
A small wave of laughter ran through the cultist members.
Amber tittered to herself. “He’s really full of hot air, isn’t he?”
Another wave of laughter rang out.
“STOP IT!” The cultist commanded as he pointed his sword at Gibson and Amber. “STOP BEING BETTER AT BALLON PUNS THAN ME!”
Everyone went quiet.
Gibson spoke up, “… Well, someone just let all the air out of the room.”
Amber and the balloonists all broke into a fit of laughter.
“GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHH!” He suddenly ran up to Gibson and grabbed the rope tightly. He pulled his sword back and got ready to thrust.
“I HAVE SO MANY REGRETS!” Gibson cried.
“GIBSON!” Amber shouted in alarm.
Gibson swallowed as he stared at the sword pointed at his chest. The cultist holding it smiled darkly as he looked at Gibson’s expression, as if savoring the fear of his soon-to-be victim.
“… A-Amber…?” Gibson said. “If you make it out of here…”
“I know…” Amber said without a hint of sarcasm or annoyance. “Tell your brother to erase your browsing history…”
Gibson nodded. “Yeah… and… uh… thanks for putting up with me and hanging out with me and stuff… I know I can be a pain… but… uh… I had fun… you know…”
Amber felt water began to pool from around her eyes. “Gibson…”
“Touching,” the man with the sword said. He hefted his sword up a bit. “But I’m afraid I need to drain you of all your blood.”
Gibson closed his eyes.
Amber began to squirm in her bounds. “Gibson?! GIBSON!” she cried in a panic.
“RELEASE THEM,” a feminine voice commanded.
The man with the sword suddenly turned his head and looked off into the darkness. “But—”
“I did not travel through time, space, and public transport just to watch you mutilate a teenager,” the voice continued. “Release them.”
The man sighed heavily and lowered his sword.
Gibson breathed a sigh of relief.
Amber felt her body relax slightly, and the pounding in her chest she was only now aware of began to slow.
The man with the sword nodded into the shadows before trudging off back into them.
Cloaked figures emerged from the darkness and slowly untied Amber and Gibson, taking them gently onto the floor and allowing them to return to their feet before the cultists departed back into the darkness.
Amber squinted into the darkness and smiled brightly. “Thanks for saving us…”
A dark chuckle was Amber’s answer. “Do not thank me, for I shall be your undoing…”
Amber sighed and shook her head. “I knew it was too good to be true…” She looked up. “Uh… do we know you?”
Maniacal laughter filled the void of the dark, cavernous room. “MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course! All should know me.”
Gibson’s eyes shot open wide. “That voice… it’s…”
Suddenly a small, fiery glow appeared out in the darkness, illuminating a pointed chin and a grim smile under the wide purple brim of a hat. A small flickering flame danced in the slender palm of the woman as a wand came up into view, pushing the brim of her hat up and revealing piecing violet eyes and long silvery blue hair.
“Tremble in fear, mere mortals. You face the GRRRRRRRRRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRRRIXIE!”
Pinkie show off more genre savvy-ness! So, Fairy Girl is a professional assassin? Salvation Armed Forces, Assemble! Sheesh, are there any of Dan's enemies (save the ones Dan's made up with) that Dan* didn't round up? Wow, these cultists aren't very bright, are they? That was kinda sweet with Gibson and Amber there. Why did Trixie save them!? How does Gibson know her? First comment!
...was that a Monty Python reference?
OMG, it was! It was a Monty Python reference! I just remembered why I love this fic! fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/014/a/8/hapie_by_comeha-d7251pk.png
Bravo! fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/363/f/6/clapping_pony_icon___pinkie_pie_by_taritoons-d5pkuzy.gif
-Kirb, possibly on drugs.
New chapter and I loved it. No offense but I thought the android fight went a little too long. I loved the Salvation Armed Forces scene and now there is next chapter to look forward to with the Great and Powerful Trixie. Be it human or pony I freaking love Trixie.
Now for a few editorial comments:
That should be 'uncomfortably'.
mine's
The phrasing with that sentence is a little awkward and would work better as "...in attempt to shake off the large man who was currently straddling the back of her neck."
I think there was another one or two, maybe a missing 'a' somewhere, but that's all I can find for now.
Thanks as always for the chapter.
That Salvation Armed Forces scene was easily the most epic, touching, and wut filled battle scene I have ever witnessed. Well done.
5278985
Fixed. Thanks for the corrections, comments, and criticism!
Is it just me or does this seem to be getting dragged out unnecessarily long?
I'm starting to get a little impatient. I just really, really want to see Pinkie kill Dan*.
“You rang?” A famine voice called out.
Should be female.
Otherwise, awesome! An wicked cool fight scene, promises of more, and a good ending to boot. Here's hoping Pinkie gets more Pinkie soon. And nice bait and switch at the end, though I wonder how Gibsy knows her ... Eh, he probably tried to hit on her once, like any non-ugly, non-blood kin female he's ever encountered.
5279071 I think it's more the release schedule. There used to be a new chapter up every two or three days, but right now it's about once a week. With the old release schedule this would have felt a lot different because of how soon each bit would have come. But, due to things out of anyone's hands (including the author's) it's just not a realistic thing right now. It was just bad luck that the story hit such a wide scope section at the same time that updates slowed.
So Hellsing.
Gibson can lead me anytime
Fairy Girl recovered from a decapitation? What level of sidhe do they have to be if raw meteoritic or volcanic iron is the only thing that can hurt them, and I beleive if high enough, not even that?
Poor Tyra, brought down by overwealming onslaught of cheap shoddy goods. strange, that sounds awfully familiar.
Pinkie getting even more frustrated at yet another diversion of the story from what she wants to be doing, which is excessive violence against Dan*. Im wondering if she is going to end up seeing if a werewolf can survive the Fawksgiving Feast special.This is where you stuff the offering with high explosive before launching it into space. Or just strap it to the average cheaply made launch vehicle, often with similar effects.
So, any chance of Gibson liking Trixies shows, but not Trixie, and Trixies magic messing up and making her adore Gibson in return? Yet more things for Pinkie to get annoyed about.
Why did Trixie save them? The answer, is quite simple.
She is a real.... SHOW STOPPER! *badum ti-SPLORTCH!*
I regret...everything... *keels*
5279018 There's at least two instances where 'good' should be replaced with 'god'
5279462 I don't get the pun... If you were referring to the episode called The Show Stoppers, Trixie wasn't even in that one
Have I stopped to say how much I love your version of deranged homicidal Pinkie? Because I really, really love your version of deranged, homicidal, completely bitchy Pinkie.
By the way...this arc is kind of getting a little, well...
It's kinda dragging on WAY too long. Any chance it's on the verge of wrapping up sometime soon? I seriously feel like I'm trapped in a shounen manga here...
...seriously? This is really starting to get ridiculous now.
5279471
Got these, thanks!
5279176
I think he was going for feminine rather than female.
5279071
5279476
We're approaching the end of the arc, or at least well past the half-way mark. At this point, close to all the characters that are going to show up have been introduced (especially for the bakery crew + friends), so all that's left is a handful of confrontations.
5279633
Yes, thank you. Fixed.
I take back my comment, i had assumed that the cavalry was not coming.
5279662 Its probably because you haven't had the time to update as frequently as you normally do that its getting a bit draggy. Also that our favorite couple are not there to play off each other is making it seem longer than it is.
5280015
That's probably a factor. Though it is the longest arc in terms of both chapters and word count, it looks like. And I consider "Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship" two arcs.
Though there's also sort of multiple stories here that have sort of branched off from the main plot of the arc, and this is without a doubt the most action intensive arc of the story so far...
I dunno. I'm guessing how one enjoys or doesn't enjoy the side character stories probably has a lot to do with how well they're enjoying the arc.
Hurray, looks like I got my wish. And I loved that touching moment they had, maybe there is hope between them after this is all over. But now how will they stand against the Great and Powerful Trixie? Could this be Gibsons time to shine and prove his worth? Will he save the day? And will he get the girl? Tune in next week to find out.
I also loved that Hellsing reference. I loved every scene when Anderson had a speech.(The one you used was my favorite.)
You got a little hellsing-ish for a bit there. I was afraid pinkie might snap and pull out a lv 0 release.
in cast he wasn’t share
in a cast, sure, not share.
uttered with a frightful look.
Considering the circumstances, that's either a fright-filled look, or a frightened look. A frightful look would be producing fright (Another of those odd English language things)
people started emerged
people started to emerge, or people emerged
teeth, scanned
Oof. Okay, that 'could' be a separate sentence, but since it's related to what she did as she stood there, you could put it as 'scanning'. If we do make it a new sentence then it might need a minor rewrite.
did, he held
Pretty sure you could put 'and' instead of 'he,' but it just scans funny for me, so there might not actually be any kind of error.
as the nose reverberated through the city street.
I'm sorry. I need to figure out how to write a giant vibrating nose into a story now. 'noise'
behind her and charge suddenly shifted
...I am honestly not quite sure what's going on. They don't seem to be charging later in the paragraph, so maybe this was a missed word from a previous idea?
where the hung
they
crazy, balloon cultists
Okay, after reading a little further, I'm pretty sure they're crazy balloon-cultists; cultists who are crazy about balloons, not cultists who are crazy and balloons. Comma could be cleared, the dash is optional for clarity.
only know aware
now
nodded off into ...trudging off back
While the sentence works, the double off is a bit forced sounding. You can probably clear the second without affecting the meaning any.
The Return! Eeeee hee hee hee!
Okay, while I agree with Mythril that we've been following this arc for a while, I got a good grin out of the army, the vengeance swearing, and of course... the grand return. I admit I would've been less amused if we went back to the Trainyard, but that angle seems to have been finished.
... Doesn't... doesn't any kind of motion involve moving through time and space? I mean, moving forward at the rate of 1 second per second is still moving.
I don't get the connection between Trixie and the balloon cult beyond her just being one of the upper level minions of this nonsensical evil alliance.
Otherwise good stuff!
Anyone else think Helsing during Sarge's speech?
You keep throwing characters at us like this you're not gonna have anymore after this arc is finished.
You know you're sad when Gibson of all people is taking shots at you.
5280629
Regarding Trixie:
Also, got your corrections! Thanks.
5280751
You pretty much hit the nail on the head. There was a line way, way back that Trixie had to run off to work with a bunch of 'balloonists' or whatever. They're all pretty much mooks and Trixie is the only one with any real ability here.
5281160 well after 144 full-length chapters of insanity, perhaps the end is nigh? Especially with all these villains coming together like this.
*Inserts Pinkie saying "Really, what could top that?"*
5283060 There's still TOK to look forward to, hell and Hortence could even get her own arc. Other than that though...
What's Trixie going to Bedazzle Gibson's jacket?
I'm loving this phycotic version of pinkie, very contrasted personality of that of her normal self. Anyway good job as always and I look forwards to reading the next chapter...
I just realized that you haven't put Love tap in yet so you going to do that or what.
5283060 Dan vs. Equestria
5285003 *Evil grin*
So does the 300$ pan out due to outside help or am I still in the game? Seriously though, this is a great chapter. Unchained Pinkie is best Pinkie (as long as she doesn't go Cupcakes on us *shudders*). I didn't expect that bit with the Salvation Armed Forces or Trixie and the balloonists(sp?), but I greatly enjoyed it.
Well, Sarge is kind of a badass. Exactly 0 people did not see that coming.
RRRRGGGHH! I'M GETTIN' UPSET!
Thank you Amber. I knew there was a reason I still liked you.
That hurricane of balloon puns reminds me WAY too much of Chuggaaconroy.
And now Amber and her sidekick have to deal with Trixie. Depending on how well the greatest and most powerful magician ever can tap into the Fourth Dimension, this will be either awesome or terrible for them.
I really enjoyed Sarge's pre-battle speech. Too cool. And then all the coolness evaporated when we switched over to the balloon cultists.
Okay buddy. There is a fine line between funny and random. In all honesty, this fic crossed the border into random hours ago, as well as several states, and is now approacHing "biodome" territory.
5281160 THANK YOU!
I was starting to think that I was the only one that noticed the speech was a reference to Hellsing.
so many characters... i think im on overload...
Oh, hi there Alexander =D
How did I forget about the balloon people?
5315707
more like it deflated amirite
...oh sweet Chaos, this chapter sure inflated my mood along with all the rest ive gone through recently. if this keeps up, I'm certain to float off hiiiigh into the sky!
...okay, stopping now. i don't do puns. Balloon Cultists though? what silliness! can't even call the idea Helium-headed or anything, they dont use it!
Seriously though. Alexanders Iscariot Speech with the Salvation Armed Forces? You've gone past awesome territory and well into sickening territory. i love this. and THERES STILL SO MUCH MORE TO READHALPMEPLEASE....
This echoes of Suicide Squad with Pinkie as Harley Quinn.
Not sure if that should be 'familiar' or 'feminine', I'd go with the former.
Does this mean that Gibson and Amber have been officially shipped?
9052502
✌
I should not be laughing while having coughing fits. Chest hurts to much to laugh