Part 11 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Distractions: Chapter 100 Pinkie & Dan Vs. More Group Therapy
The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 11 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Distractions
Chapter 100 Pinkie & Dan Vs. More Group Therapy
-ooooooo-
Amber continued to squeeze down hard on her stress ball to the point where it was pretty much an unrecognizable shape.
“What?” Pinkie said as she looked over the faces of the couples in the room and noticed her story hadn’t been quite as well-received as she would have hoped.
Elise decided to speak up. “Pinkie, you really shouldn’t run outside half naked.”
“It was an emergency!” Pinkie cried. “I had to get Timmy out before Jeanee did something really, really bad!”
“Yeah,” Dan chimed in. “Like give him super strength or heat vision or something.”
“Well… I meant more like killing him,” Pinkie said. “But we already had to deal with one supervillain and that did kind of hurt, so…”
Amber ceased trying to burn a hole through Pinkie’s skull with her eyes and turned towards Elise. “RUNNING OUTSIDE IN AN APRON WAS THE ONE THING YOU’RE GOING TO BRING UP AFTER HEARING ALL THAT?!” she shouted as she motioned out to Pinkie.
Elise shrugged. “It was the one thing out of the ordinary.”
“Mini-catapults, armed duels with waitresses, hurling a terrarium full of snakes, and beating up children is ordinary?!” Amber cried.
“Hey!” Dan protested. “I said I thought the terrarium full of snakes was overkill!”
“Those children had it coming!” Elise said.
The surprised looks from across the room only increased as they heard Elise’s words, however Elise paid them no mind.
Elise continued, “Also, for those two, yes… while none of those specific things would probably be considered ordinary, they’re not really anything I would say is strange for either of them.” She glanced at Chris. “Back me up here.”
Amber narrowed her eyes slightly at Elise. “Elise, you shouldn’t pull your husband into…”
“She’s pretty much dead on,” Chris said as he turned and faced his double eyepatched face roughly towards Amber.
“Oh…” Amber replied as she pursed her lips slightly.
“And besides,” Chris added, “Pinkie at least tried to defuse the situations… I mean that’s better than normal…”
“Excuse you,” Dan cried. “If you were paying attention you would have figured out that some of those things would have been avoided if we were together!”
“Oh?” Chris replied. “Do tell.”
“For starters, Pinkie and I would have left the Lenny’s as soon as the plan had gone awry!” Dan stated. “I mean, I would have been there with my car and we could have gotten away before the crazy scissor duel.”
“Yeeeaaah…” Pinkie said. “Not sure why I thought talking back to the crazy waitress I just hit with soda was a good idea!”
“Easy!” Dan cried. “You weren’t thinking!”
“OooOOOOoooh!” Pinkie looked up at Amber and motioned to Dan. “There you go!”
Dan continued, “Next, Pinkie probably would have made sure I didn’t assault the pet shop worker with a terrarium full of snakes.”
“It's true!” Pinkie declared. “I probably would have freed all the animals while Dan got us back our quarter!”
Chris nodded. “Alright, and the Lemonade Stand Gang?”
“Okay yeah… they probably would have still been beaten up…” Dan held up an index finger and grinned. “But it's possible Timmy wouldn’t have been handed over to our neighbor.”
“I can’t believe you two!” Amber cried.
Dan and Pinkie exchanged a confused glance then looked back at Amber.
Pinkie spoke up, “Well, it was your idea!”
Dan nodded. “Yeah! There’s no way we would have handled either of those separately if you hadn’t suggested it!”
“So if you think about it,” Pinkie continued, “most of the violence is probably your fault.”
“Way to go, Amber!” Dan said sarcastically.
Amber squeezed her stress ball hard enough that it slipped out of her hand and flew towards her window. It hit one of the glass panes and broke through it, flying off away from the school and smashing into the side of a joggers face. The jogger quickly tumbled to the ground.
The group stared outside as they witnessed the culmination of the seemingly unlikely events.
Pinkie narrowed her eyes as she stared out the window. “Why does that sort of stuff always happen here?!”
Amber attempted to force a smile. Though the anger on her face made even opening her lips in anything but a grimace a laborious effort and the result looked far from happy. “When I told you two to spend some time apart, I didn’t mean split up your vengeance list!”
Dan and Pinkie exchanged another confused glance and looked back at Amber.
Pinkie raised her hand. “I don’t understand.”
“Yeah, same here,” Dan added as he knitted his brow.
“I meant maybe you two should catch a movie separately, or go out for dinner separately. A nice, non-violent activity!”
The confusion on Dan’s face only grew. “Why would we do either of those things without each other?!”
“Yeah!” Pinkie chimed in. “Silly Amber! Going to a movie and dinner alone is only something sad, lonely people do! Silly Amber!”
Amber’s angry expression returned with a vengeance, easily toppling over her smile which barely had a foothold on her expression to begin with.
Dan shot Pinkie an annoyed look. “I’VE gone to the movies by myself.”
“Ooops…” Pinkie said with a nervous grin.
“Of course,” Dan continued as he focused his annoyed look on Chris, “I wouldn’t have to do that if someone could get their priorities straight!”
“Dan,” Chris replied, “I can’t always just drop whatever I’m doing and watch a movie with you at a moment’s notice! Often times Elise and I already have plans!”
“See!” Dan said. “That right there! That’s a prime example of your priorities being messed up!”
Amber cocked an eye at Dan. “Actually, Chris prioritizing his wife over his best friend is quite normal and healthy.”
“Says you!” Dan cried. “What if his wife was an evil, bloodsucking harpy?!”
“DAN!” Elise cried. “I am not a harpy… or bloodsucking!”
“You have stolen my blood, however,” Chris mentioned.
“Just a little!” Elise replied. “I needed a larger sample size!”
“…Is that why you knocked out our neighbors and came back with vials and vials of blood?”
Elise pursed her lips. “Uh… yes? I mean… I did use my own, too…”
The other two couples continued to stare out from their side of the room, the other half basically seeming in its own world devoid of laws or sense at that point.
“See!” Dan cried. “Bloodsucking!”
“I HAD A GOOD REASON FOR STEALING BLOOD!” Elise declared. She frowned. “I really hope I never have to use that line in a court of law…”
“Elise,” Amber said as she forced a calm tone, “while Dan isn’t necessarily right about everything, it’s not conducive to a healthy relationship to steal your partner’s blood when it’s convenient…”
“Uh… noted…” Elise said sheepishly.
“Geez Amber!” Pinkie exclaimed. “You’re not making a lot of friends here!”
“I’m not here to make friends!” Amber said as her annoyed tone returned. “I’m here to fix relationships!”
“Well so far you’ve done a horrible job!” Dan cried.
Pinkie nodded. “Yeah! You’ve caused damage at this point!”
Amber turned back to Dan and Pinkie with an angry glare as her face reddened further. Her face tightened to the point where veins became visible and she gritted her teeth hard as she stared out at the couple. Slowly, Amber attempted to reel in her temper, starting by taking deep breaths than chanting to herself as she curled her thumbs and middle fingers into a circle. “Huuuuf… puuuuf…huuuuf… puuuuf… Step outside yourself… Step outside yourself…”
From the other side of the room, Jean smiled. “Nice use of meditation to calm yourself,” she said.
Amber rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Jean.”
Jean frowned. “But I just…”
Amber scowled back at Jean. “ZIP IT!” she commanded.
Jean put on a somewhat-surprised and hurt expression as she went silent.
Amber turned back to Dan and Pinkie. “You two can try, oh I don’t know,”—Amber threw her hands out to her sides—“going out with separate groups of friends to do an activity!” she said in still rather irate tone.
Dan rolled his eyes. “Fine. Chris! There’s a Lenny’s I have a sudden urge to set fire to.”
Pinkie smiled cheerfully. “Elise! There’s still lots of contained animals still at that pet shop Dan was at yesterday!”
“I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT GOING ON ANOTHER VENGEANCE RUN!” Amber cried.
“Well you should have been more specific!” Dan cried.
Pinkie nodded. “Yeah! I mean… vengeance runs are like the one thing all five of us have in common!” Pinkie said as she motioned out to Dan, Chris, Elise, and Amber.
Amber turned and nervously looked at the other couples as they started shooting her suspicious glances.
“Uh… WHO WANTS TO GO NEXT?!” Amber asked as she forced a smile back onto her face.
Elise smiled and raised her hand enthusiastically. “Oooo! ME! Pick me!”
“Hey!” Dan protested. “Pinkie and I have lots of couple stuff to talk about still!”
Chris turned towards Dan. “Dan, no one here wants to hear you talk about how you took Pinkie in a manly fashion.”
Dan paused and thought about this. “Pinkie and I have one more couple thing to talk about still!”
“Awww, I wouldn’t mind!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
Elise cocked an eyebrow at Pinkie. “Pinkie you get to experience it! First hand!”
Pinkie nodded. “But I like Dan’s stories!”
Amber frowned as she looked back and forth between Dan and Elise, unsure of who she wanted to hear from less at the moment. “Alright, Dan… what was the ONE other couple thing you wanted to talk about?”
Pinkie “Awwwwww”ed in disappointment.
“I fixed up Pinkie’s wound,” Dan said with a smile.
Pinkie’s face went pale. “You sure did…”
Amber glanced at Pinkie. “You don’t seem happy about it.”
“Oh, she’s just being a big baby,” Dan said sullenly.
“Dan!” Amber said in a chastising tone. “You shouldn’t say…”
“Oh, he’s pretty much spot on,” Pinkie declared.
Amber looked back at Pinkie with a blank expression. “What?”
Pinkie nodded. “Yepper! He did a really good job… it’s just…” Pinkie’s eyes glazed over as she stared off into space. She wrapped her arms around herself and began to shiver uncontrollably.
Amber looked at Dan with an accusing expression. “What did you do?!”
Dan turned his palms towards the ceiling as he glared up into open air. “I just stitched her up! That’s all!”
“Yeah… he used a—”Pinkie gulped“—needle and thread and everything…”
“He stitched your wound up?!” Amber cried.
Pinkie nodded. “Yep… yepper… cleaned it with Everclear and stitched it right up…” she stammered out.
Amber turned to Dan. “I’m sorry, but that seems grossly irresponsible! She could get an infection, or you could even make it worse!”
“What?!” Dan said in a protesting tone. “I’ve fixed my own wounds all the time! I’m great at fixing wounds!”
Chris chimed in, “Dan is pretty skilled at first aid and even some advanced stuff.”
Dan smiled. “Yeah, you don’t end up getting beaten up as often as I do without picking up a few things.”
Amber sighed out as she turned to Pinkie and began to speak, “Tell me exactly what happened.”
>ooooooo<
“Well that took forever!” Dan said in a grumpy tone as he followed very close behind Pinkie in attempt to block anyone else’s view of her bare backside as the couple walked back to their apartment.
“We got to Timmy before he was dead!” Pinkie said. “Or horribly mutated… uh… hopefully.”
“Yeah, Jean did have him for quite some time…” Dan mused as he leaned past Pinkie and unlocked the door to apartment ‘8’. The couple entered the apartment and Dan quickly closed and locked the door behind them.
“Are you sure we did the right thing?” Pinkie asked.
“What!?” Dan protested. “We brought Timmy back to his parents! We’re practically saints!”
“Just leaving him on the lawn, I mean…” Pinkie qualified.
“I felt it was a good compromise!” Dan reasoned as he flicked a hand out and held it palm up. “I mean, you talked me up from the street in front of his house!”
Pinkie pursed her lips together. “Well, I wanted to at least knock on the door to his house, too!”
“I honked the horn and cried ‘Hey! Losers!’ as I drove off! Geez, I practically sent them a singing telegram!” Dan insisted.
“Well…okay!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “As long as you’re sure he’ll be okay!”
“I’m totally, mostly, fairly positive his parents will check outside at some point!” Dan said with a smile.
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie said happily as she reached her hands out and grabbed Dan’s arms. “Now where were we?” she cooed out as smiled and flashed Dan bedroom eyes.
Dan mirrored her expression then quickly frowned as he looked down. “Uh… apparently we were about to change your bandage.”
Pinkie glanced down at her arm and noticed her gauze had become soaked through with blood. She frowned. “Uh… oh… I guess we were…”
Dan grabbed Pinkie by the hand and led her over to the easy chair. Pinkie sat down as Dan left to quickly grab some Everclear and a med-kit.
Dan slowly peeled away the wrap around Pinkie’s arm as Pinkie uttered small, pained whimpers.
“Oh, don’t be such a baby!” Dan cried. “It’s no big…” Dan furrowed his brow as he pulled away the gauze around Pinkie’s wound. “Holy crud, Pinkie! She cut you deep! I think you might need stitches here!”
“Sta... stitches… as in—”Pinkie gulped“—needle?”
Dan glanced at Pinkie. “Just through your skin! I’m not injecting you with anything.”
“Yeah, but… I mean, it’s still going inside me!” Pinkie cried.
Dan sighed as he began to speak, “Look, I’ll be quick! You’ll barely feel a thing… You know… after I clean out the wound with stinging alcohol, that is…”
“You know! I think we should let nature take its course here!” Pinkie declared.
Dan cocked an eyebrow at Pinkie. “As in, you think your arm should get gangrene and rot off?”
“Uh… sure!” Pinkie said nervously. “I mean… think how much money I’ll save on my next Nightmare—erm Halloween costume!”
“Pinkie, I’m not going to let your arm rot off just because you have a fear of needles,” Dan said.
‘PHRREEeeeooo.’
Dan’s eyes went wide as he heard the sound of a balloon deflating. While Pinkie’s hair hadn’t gone completely straight, he found its less than completely puffed-out appearance was rather unsettling.
“Pinkie… We really need to do this!” Dan insisted in the most comforting tone he could manage.
Pinkie frowned and nodded. “Okay, but I can’t be held responsible if I chew your face off while you’re stabbing me again and again with a needle.”
“Uhhh… chew my face off?” Dan asked in a concerned tone.
“Sorry,” Pinkie offered sheepishly. “Just my body’s natural attempt to defend itself.”
“Uh… right…” Dan said in a concerned tone. He quickly fiddled with a few items in the med-kit. “Hey before we get started, can you tell me what this rag smells like?” he asked as he passed a damp rag to Pinkie.
Pinkie smiled as she took the rag from Dan’s hand. “Sure!” She brought the rag up to her nose and gave it a heavy whiff. “Sniff… It smells like chloroform!” she declared. Pinkie’s eyes widened as she turned towards Dan who stared back with a devilish grin.
“Ya you…ja… jerk…zzzzzzzzz…” Pinkie said sleepily as she quickly passed out.
Dan chuckled to himself as he doused a fresh rag with Everclear. “You’d think she’d pick up on that trick at some point…”
<ooooooo>
The occupants of the room once again displayed a collection of very different expressions.
Jason was the first to quietly speak up on one side of the room. “Did he… did he just say he knocked out Pinkie?!”
“Terrible…” Jennifer said. “Simply terrible.”
“He’s a menace all right…” Flynn agreed.
Jean spoke up, “I can’t believe that poor girl is trapped in such an abusive relationship.”
Chris simply listened with a blank expression on his face, the emptiness compounded by the eyepatches over both his eyes.
Elise looked somewhat irritated.
Amber gave out another heavy sigh as she began to speak, “So… to even stitch her up you had to knock her out with chloroform?”
“What?! It was for her own good!” Dan cried.
Pinkie nodded. “Sure was!” she smiled. “He stitched me up perfectly!” she added.
“Hey!” Elise said in a protesting tone. “How come when Dan knocks you out it’s ‘for your own good’, but when I do it to Chris, I’m a horrible wife?!”
“Uhhh… haven’t you like… knocked out Chris when you could have just asked him to leave the room?” Pinkie asked.
Elise frowned. “Well… you know… old habits and all that…”
Amber shot Elise a quick glare before she continued talking to Dan, “So… to even properly stitch Pinkie up, you had to knock her out…”
“What?!” Dan protested. “You heard Pinkie! She’d have eaten my face if I tried stitching her wound while she was still conscious!”
“I totally would have regretted it, afterwards, though!” Pinkie asserted. “I mean… I really like Dan’s face.”
“And at no point did you think it was a good idea to take Pinkie to a hospital?”
“Hospitals are for squares!” Dan and Pinkie cried in unison.
“They’re better than stitching up wounds in your home!” Amber countered.
“Really?” Dan asked. “Wasting hours at a waiting room just to have a weirdo in a lab coat ask my girlfriend to strip so he can ogle her is better than getting the job done quickly!?”
“What?” Amber replied in a confused tone. “But that’s not… Okay the long wait, maybe… However, I think you might be exaggerating the last part a bit.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d say that! You’re probably of one of those dirty people with health insurance!”
“Dan, you’re one of those dirty people with health insurance,” Chris informed.
“WHAT?!” Dan cried. “How dare you accuse me of such…”
“Pinkie, too…” Chris added.
The color drained from Dan’s face. “What?! Inconceivable!”
“Noper!” Pinkie said happily. “It was on some of the sheets Wally had us sign when he promoted both of us!”
“Why that low down, evil, over weight jerk face!” Dan cried. “I oughta march right into the bakery and set his tie on fire!”
Elise looked at Dan with an almost bored expression on her face. “You didn’t read anything he had you sign, did you?”
“But it was all so boring!” Dan whined.
Pinkie nodded. “They really were!”
Amber uttered a sigh before speaking, “Well now that you know you have health insurance, maybe next time you’ll both go to the hospital if one of you is injured?”
Dan and Pinkie looked at each other then back to Amber.
Pinkie spoke up, “But hospitals are still for squares and Dan does such a good job!”
Dan grinned and motioned towards Pinkie. “There you have it! The lady has spoken.”
Amber groaned and raised a hand to her face. “Moving on…” she said in a defeated tone.
Jennifer leaned in and whispered to the group of couples, “Can you believe that? Dan won’t even take Pinkie to the hospital!”
Jean nodded. “And Amber is just pushing on despite that.”
“Wow…” Flynn muttered. “Things are really out of hand with those two.”
Jason shook his head in disbelief. “To think that girl sees nothing wrong with the way Dan treats her! She really needs help!” he added.
Jean frowned. “And it doesn’t look like Amber is going to provide much of it…”
Amber quickly scanned her eyes across the room. “Does anyone else want to share something for the good of the group?”
“ME!” Elise cried as she held up an enthusiastic hand. “PICK ME! Oh please pick me!”
Amber sighed and raised a palm to her face as she pressed an index and middle finger against her temple. “Alright, Elise,” she said in a somewhat defeated tone.
Dan rolled his eyes. “Well this is going to be boring.”
“Now Dan,” Pinkie began in a chastising tone, “give Elise a chance! She listened to our stories.”
“FINE! I’ll try to hide how mind-numbingly bored Elise’s story makes me!”
“That’s the spirit!” Pinkie cried.
Elise grinned wickedly. “Chris and my date started when I decided to hijack a cement mixing truck.”
The couples on the other side of the room uttered shocked and appalled gasps. Dan’s grumpy expression quickly disappeared and he stared at Elise with a very uncharacteristic level of interest. Pinkie grinned as she quietly listened to Elise.
Unbeknownst to the rest of the group, Amber began to grind her teeth as she sat back in her chair and began massaging her temples. She glared out angrily into open space as Elise began to recount the events of her and Chris’s date.
Stats
Page generated in 0.04 seconds
Total duration
620 users online
682,138 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Chloroform and Everclear. Always fun.
Meanwhile Flynn and Jean are gonna try to "fix" Dan and Pinkie's relationship, which will more than likely end in a vengeance run.
Elise must have the entire collection of The Adventures Of Billy And Foley.
an elise revenge story? now this will be interesting
the room ant noticed
And, no matter what the room ant noticed.
Silly amber!”
Probably should just capitalize the name, since you did that at the start of that set of Pinkie sentences.
Often time Elise
...I... think that's Often times, but that's a minor typo.
with vials and vial of
This is just the day of minor typos. Soon, you will be free of unrequested editing. Vials and vials.
to real in
Reel in that reality there.
Oh noooo, Elise, you're still taking too much command! You should take a break. Go pet some kittens. Let Chris eat his weight in twinkies and pass out somewhere to digest for 7 years.
A very fun chapter. Happy (Official) 100 Chapters to the story! Only some minor patch ups, so my loss of job approaches.
4210836 so basically it'll all work out in the end!
Well, we've hit the "official" 100th chapter. Congratulations! Hooray!
And it only took six months. You never cease to amaze me, Justice.
4210920
Yep
Nice!
I pity Flynn and Jean after they met the crazyness that is Pin
kie
Cyclists and pedestrians, the red shirts of Dan vs.
4210916
Got these! Thanks!
I think I may have to wait for 2 or three chapters to be published... these morsel sized portions (to me anyways) are driving me nuts.
4211078 Another wonderful chapter--was a little concerned with it still taking place in Group Therapy, but the use of flashbacks keeps it well balanced.
Wonder if Elise's story will come back to Twilight & the rest of the Mane Six...our most resent princess having to consult in our favorite spy's section 8
4212879
Thanks!
Yeah, the group sessions make for decent interactions between the characters but it slows things down quite a bit. Framing and setting up other scenes is about all that's left for Group to do at this point and we'll be done with it shortly.
Wouldn't it be a neat idea for Dan to be mutated?
Total rip off of the hulk, but, he would turn into a BEAST whenever he would get too angry, which would be almost always, and Elise tried making a cure and, like, in the end, Dan would have to fight against someone else
Or, like, Dan and company goes to new york to mess with the not so jerks, superheroes?
4217843
"Wheels" actually has a pretty good sound as far as a song that has fits the overall arc.
Not sure about a song I'd need altered to fit a situation I tend to get an idea with songs to use as is. I'll let you know if something strikes me.
Still, I adore any and all fan works to this story, so anything you make can just be posted here in a comment, or some such.
You can also toss ideas out at me and I can see if I can use them in a chapter or something.
OMG, i stop reading your history for about two months and suddenly i am 100 chapters behind..........you writte so fast. I ll try to make some free time somewhere down the month to try to catch up. Just wrotte that to tell you i love your work : D.
I enjoyed this. you may continue to live.
im just sad at how they think pinkies in a abusive relationship..i feel that they will try something and then pinkie will rage and beat them, which i will enjoy extensively
4222428 Likewise.
I don't like where this is going. This is starting to sound kind of...kidnap and call the cops-ish.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!~
*hugs you for your writing*
I am seriously loving this so far.
Timmy... Timmy...
Sounds like Twilight...
Hmm... him?
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/fairlyoddparents/images/2/26/Timmy_Turner.png/revision/latest?cb=20121220231508&path-prefix=en
4751507 ARE YOU PSYCIC?
5593597 nope, Dan Vs. The Lemonade Stand Gang
This was an actual episode where Tara Strong voiced a kid named Timmy.
Thanks to my stuffed ankle I'm glad I don't jog or cycle anymore.
Cement trucks are good when you're trying to crush Christine! (first one to get that ref gets 5 internet bits)
7474521 Suck to be you if you set out to crush Christine and it turns out you're actually in Maximum Overdrive. Well, sucks to be you anyways in that scenario. Wonder if anyone ever gave King shit for riffing off of Benet's Nightmare Number 3?
7557814
...cartoon physics.
7557814
In the confines of this story think of chloroform as "convenient knock out fluid" instead of the actual chemical, it'll make your life easier
Awesome chapter Justice. Kinda makes me wish Dan vs was still being made. Also, great Water Boy reference with the stress ball. Tobad you couldn't add the yell sound effect for the jogger/Colonel Sanders.Water Boy baseball scene
I haven't given many comments in the past, but I absolutely love this story. Dan and Pinkie have such great chemistry, the returning characters are masterfully handled, I love how Elise is humbled and her parents finally get the telling off they deserve, and even Chris seems better for Pinkie coming in to their lives. Great comedy and compelling drama everywhere I look. Don't even think about stopping.
8519589
Thank you! Always nice to read my stories are appreciated so!
*Opens mouth for a few seconds and then closes it with an audible snap.*
Nope....Too easy.