• Published 10th Dec 2013
  • 1,007 Views, 56 Comments

Skyclad & Honor Bound: A Millennia Past - Mr Anomalous



Rainbow Dash, the Bearer of Loyalty, is a brave, capable mare. But her loyalty & bravery will be put to the test as she becomes thrust in a time that is not hers, and the fate of a world rests in her hooves.

  • ...
5
 56
 1,007

Chapter III: Novus Orbis

"I'll pulverize your skull into dust, mix it with your blood, and use it to jack myself off!" the rather crude Pegasus bellowed at his opponent, who was visibly shaking with fear.

"And when I'm done, I'll squirt down your headless, gaping throat!"

The other pegasus was sweating now, but still holding his own with the little gladius he called his own.

Sgt. Scar, however, weilded his massive spiked warhammer with terrifying speed and power, bellowing vulgar curses and threats all the while while his matted beard flopped and his blind eyes bulged.

Who knew a blind Pegasus could be so utterly terrifying and capable?

Not Iron Clad.

Iron made the mistake of trying to fool Scar with a feint, and that lead to a dent in his armor and a minor concussion. Training, for now, was over, and Iron went off to the nearest Inn outside the fortress walls to try and drown the headache in liquor; the harshest possible.

He stumbled inside and ignored the laughter of some of the other Pegasi and sat at the bar. Wordlessley, Iron pointed with his hoof and received a pint of the inkeeper's homemade Crater Mud. Really a vile mixture, but damn was it strong. It took three pints, but soon Iron, almost dead, went out into a nearbye alley and fell into a sleep. Safe, he knew; Pegasi do not rob one another. Simple fact.

"Riadgh iadgar biadkiadt, riadk gokar ri!" came a hushed voice. The sheer gutteral, rough, hideous nature of whatever that was could wake even the sleepiest of Northern Giants.

"Dak, sheeah bgokarsruthánt tléirkiad; ik vill chgokulsr uthánb ib!"

But as ugly as the tongue was . . . it seemed vaugly familiar to Rainbow Dash.

"Jee, jee, jee; rléirk glak chléirk gogihn!"

"Bléirgarléirgh."

"Vléirtho'sruthángh!"

"Dak."

Ah. Her great granfather Vista. He was a linguistics expert at Cloudsdale College. He spoke thirty-one different languages. His absolute favorite, was Old Pegasus.

"Tsruthánghaalléirr tho'sruthánvléirch tho'gok; jee."

Once, Rainbow had been interested in it, but when Vista had spent the entirety of one day trying to teach her, the sheer complexity and harshness of it hurt her brain. Every word had a hundred variants, each longer and more complex to pronounce. The Equish tongue normally utilized the front of the mouth, but the Pegasus Old Tongue used front, middle, and back of the mouth, as well as several clicks and ticks and grunts. It was absolutely ridiculous, and Rainbow went home with a migrane.

Her eyes bolted open.

Above her, was the yellow cloth of canvas. She was in a bag.

"Hey!" she cried, and immiately began thrashing again.

"Braster; braster, braster, braster—vsekh!"

"Let me outta here!" Rainbow cried, tearing the thick canvas at last. But not before two sets of hooves got to her. Rainbow cried out in pain as her mane was yanked from the top of the bag, her head coming with it.

She got a very up-close and personal look at an angry brown stallion, spittle dripping from his nasty teeth and his large eyebrows furrowed, a sivler helm with a yellow plume on his head.

"Lladd töte léir sie!?" he threatened through his grit teeth.

"Oi, oi, oi," said the other stallion, whom Rainbow could not turn her head to see.

"Lawr veshk, lawr veshk."

The stallion hurting Rainbow curled his lip and threw her back into the solid wooden wagon.

Rainbow, despite herself, felt tears of pain, fright, and utter confusion trickle down her cheeks.

She was very obviously going to die, or worse.

Suddenly, the other staillion, gray and blue, this time but with the same armor, floated into the wagon with her, and she saw that he was a pegasus.

Rainbow shrunk away.

"Oi," said the blue stallion, "Oi—Heye, yov speake onlli Equish?"

Rainbow's eyes widened, and she nodded, feeling a blossom of hope in her breast.

"Do naght be afrayed; you wille bicome safe."

The blue stallion spoke his Equish very airily, with an accent, and prounced every syllable like he was very insistent that the big Bouncer let him inside the club, as he was very rich and very important.

"Where am I?" Rainbow rasped.

The blue stallion frowned. "Wee are neare SkyClad, the capitol of the Pegasus Tribe."

Rainbow sat and processed. It was like she had been transported back to the Medieval times long before Celestia or Luna ever came to be. Not impossible, given the world she lived in, but if that were true, she was completey screwed; and it happened for no reason.

No, she decided that, instead, these stallions were crazy.

"Waddaya need me for?"

"Wee are takinge yov too Commander Hurricane. Wee shalle be inn a grande felaweshipe, eh?"

Rainbow let herself sink. She was far too weak and in pain to try and deal with this now. She decided, quite irrationally, that she would go back to sleep and deal with everything when she woke up. Or perhaps this was all a nightmare brought on by Twilight's potion, and she would wake up in her cloud home in a few hours.

She was wrong.

Author's Note:

OH MY UNHOLY NYARLATHOTEP, I'M BACK!?

YES! Why? How? Why Mr./Ms. Quasar Galaxy prodded me a bit and now I'm awoken once again! I've lost me notes and there's no way in Hades I'm gonna continue doing those awesome headers of mine, but I'm gonna go for what's in my memory and my considerably improved writing skills and do it! I've got all night and five 12-packs of soda (Two Dr. Peppers—the intellectual drink for the chosen ones—one Mtn. Dew Whiteout, one Mtn. Dew Throwback, and one Mtn. Dew Voltage, if you must know) so let's do it!

And the the Old Pegasus Tongue; I didn't just mash random keys: it's a nightmare I concoted with several different languages all mashed together. Can you guess which ones I used?

And with the blue stallion's badly-spelled English (or Equish); that is Middle English (Equish.)

Hooray! I'm excited, are you?

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 19 )

Glad to see you back! I was worried that the story was dead.

Yup glad to see you back:pinkiesmile:

You sir, have just made my day. :yay:

And for the languages, hmm....
I'm gonna go with...
Dutch, Hungarian, Irish, Swedish, Czech, and Vietnamese.

Not sure how close that is, but at least I can say I tried. :rainbowlaugh:

5839383
Ya got one—Irish. *Hint* there's once more Celtic, one more Slavic, and one more Germanic.

5839958
I'm guessing the other Celtic language is Breton or something? I know it isn't Welsh, you've already used Irish, Manx is no longer spoken and Scottish Gaelic is too similar to Irish for you to use. I'm missing one. What am I missing? What'so the other Celtic language? Am I missing one? Some Welshie I am, huh.

5840788
You know it's not Welsh? I'm afriad you don't, 'cuz that's what it is.

5840848
Well, that's odd. I'm a native Welsh speaker so I'd have thought I'd recognise it. Is it by any chance South-Welsh? I know that is a completely different dialect to the North, so maybe that's why it didn't register.

5840857
Well, when I say I mashed 'em all together, I don't mean I took choice words from them and mixed them; I mashed the words themselves, traits, grammar structure, and so on and so forth. That might have to do with why you didn't really recognize it. Any particular words might have started out as hylô but then had heileo [Irish for the same greeting] thrown at it and ended up like heileyô, not to mention the other two languages which could have taken heileyô to zdravheileyôe.

And I'm pretty sure that more people speak Manx than they do Breton, there's entire festivals and such.

5840899
Ah! That makes sense! Sheesh, you had me worried as to whether I knew my own language, then! Okay, now I get it. I'm not going to attempt to guess the other languages, because I don't have a clue. The last fluent Manx speaker died in the 70's (Avatar: The Last Manxbender) so, yeah, you're probably right. I probably have sounded like a right idiot in this whole comment chain, but who cares, right? 'S all in good fun. I really want to learn Old Pegasus now. It sounds incredibly complicated but incredibly fun.

Nôs da!

5840918
Well someone'll have to develop it first. Maybe I'll do that when I have a spare . . . five and a half years. Then, I'll hunt ye down and thrust the manuscripts and say "I did this all for you!"

A nos da i chi eich hun, hefyd!

( Mae'n debyg werth nodi bod Dydw i ddim mewn gwirionedd yn rhugl yn y Gymraeg eto; . Y rhan fwyaf o hyn yw Google Translate Peidiwch fi Cymraeg i farwolaeth. )

5840940
Much obliged! I'll be waiting for those manuscripts!

Wel, er bod ei Gymraeg chi'n waith Gwgl, mae'n eithaf dda! Gall deuall yn iawn.I fod yn hollol onest rwan, rhaid imi defnyddio y rhaglen hon weithiau - am y geiriau mawr 'na, ti'n weld. A hefyd, mae'n anhygoel fod y codi the yn rhoi'r ymdrech i mean i deuall y iaeth yn y lle cyntaf! Diolch yn ofnadwy - rydych wedi wneud fy niwrnod.

5840961
Off-topic question, my Welsh compatriot: How different is the Patagonian dialect of Welsh from the one you speak? Reason I ask being that I was doing research for a possible future novel of mine and for reasons I don't feel like fully explaining this lead me to Celtic tribes and I learned about the Welsh immigration to Patagonia in South America a century or two ago.

5849613
Patagonia? Now that's an interesting question - and one I will try to answer to the best of my knowledge. I've visited Patagonia once before, for a school event a few years back. To be honest, despite the migration being, as you said, some centuries ago, the dialect is very similar. Both the Welsh and the natives of Patagonia speak similar Welsh with the main difference being in slang, with the odd word being different. For instance, saying "llefrith" instead of "llaeth" for milk. All in all, the two versions of the language are very similar, and in some instances the Patagonians actually speak better Welsh (my people have the unusual tendency of speaking what I like to call "Wenglish", where we speak Welsh but randomly throw in an English word without realising it). I hope this answers your question! If not, or if you have any other questions, just tell me and I'll try my best to answer.

5849732
Thanks a bunch! I know it may be a bit unfair to assume that just because you're Welsh you know literally everything about Wales and Celtic languages and cultures and such, but I appreciate your help. And I may come back to you from time to time if the internet can't answer whatever question I need an answer to. :twilightsmile:

5849752
Hey, I'm glad to help! It's a good way to test my knowledge and memory, so I'm fine with it. In fact, I welcome it. Besides, if I didn't have a clue do what the answer may be, I'd have simply said that. If you do have any questions, I'm always here (as sad as that undoubtedly sounds).

So when's the next chapter coming out? This story is basically the only thing making me visit this site once in a while Dx

Where be da next up-of-the-date?

8050015
Check the date I made that comment.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!