• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
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Fanfiction masochist. :B https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect


Equestria is barely three years old, and already danger threatens the fragile peace forged between the pony tribes. Monsters stream out of the Forest Ever Free on a daily basis, and now a prophetic dream foretells of even greater chaos that will befall the land.

It's up to Star Swirl the Bearded and his team of manly, heroic, eminently bearded (and strangely familiar!) stallions to brave the dark and murky Forest Ever Free in search of their one hope for salvation. Along the way, they'll learn more about the history of the land they've claimed as their own, not to mention each other. But as their unintended friendships grow, the forest will try its best to drive them apart.

Can they withstand the epic trials before them? Can they save Equestria? Will Star Swirl be known forevermore as the creator of Equestria's first beard-restoring spell? Journey a thousand years into the past and discover Equestria's epicest, beardiest history lesson ever!

Story tagged Dark for increasingly epic violence. Cover art by M. D. Quill! Accepted by The Royal Guard!

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 187 )

this... oh my dear Luna, this is amazing.

Holy shit, Jack Pattilo in the far left of the pic!

just... that cover art.:rainbowkiss:

How many times can I type yes?
Damn, this is fantastic! Like, really, truly, beautifully fantastic! Not once did the dialect annoy me, your voice is fantastically full and evocative, the pacing was fantastic, just... just...

I can't wait for more of this, the quality of this fic so far is definitely reciprocal of the work you put into it.

Bravo, as they say.

Beard-tastic first chapter

Yup, this is pretty great so far

Oh fuck the hell yes.
:heart: :heart:

Upvote for the beards. Will read asap.

Rule of thumb: when two beards cross paths, the larger beard has the right of way.

Considering the Princesses' castle was in the Everfree was it really that nasty a forrest back then?

Drinking game: take a shot every time you read the word "beard."

Try not to die.

Author Interviewer


Ohh, just you wait!

Step 3: Drink until you're manly.

Now I have the urge to come up with beard puns of their names. I already have Twibeard Sparkle, Celestibeard, Applebeard, Rainbeard Dash, and Beardie Pie.

This is quite refreshing! I really like your authoring style, very enjoyable. If I knew nothing about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, I would say this was an original work. As a side note, I've noticed that your grammar (impeccable, by the way), punctuation, and word choice are far above the norm for a Fimfic. Normally, when I read anything on here, all I see are the errors (what can I say, I'm nitpicky), but that isn't the case here, quite the opposite. I can't give you a beard, but I can give you a mustache! :moustache:

More or less 100% distilled win. Truly an epic introduction to what is no doubt going to be the most epic release of 2013.

This was glorious. No doubt the best fic I've read so far. I have the urge to spout everything I love about it into this comment, but I fear that would take an entire comment page in itself. That being said, I wish you best hope for continuing this.

You've placed a bar Presentperfect, let's see if you can pass it.

I'm only reading this for that incredibly Scottish Proxy-Jack.

Post-reading edit:
I'm seeing elements of the stereotypical RPG band of adventurers here. You've got the Tank (Prance [assuming he's wearing armor]), the Ranger (Rainbow), the Warrior (Apple), the Healer (Hush), the Mage (Starswirl), and, of course, the Spoony Bard (Pink).

Also, your grammar, spelling, and punctuation were impeccable as far as I could tell. Between the three of you (as I'm sure Snarkle and Chris helped with that), I give you this flaming beard, as a token of my appreciation.

Author Interviewer

Wanted to say thank you for this comment. I do often get concerned about writing vernacular, so this is a high compliment. :)

I'd like to think that after 7 or so drafts, I'd have everything down. c.c Thank you.

>implying I will finish this story this year

That was horrifying. D:

It's not often that I actually take the time to read something on this site. Outside of SA stuff, I more or less never read for pleasure. The reason being that the pleasure has sort of disappeared for one reason or another. But you, present, you sucked me back in, damn you. Why'd ya have to go and write something so damned entertaining? Applebeard? Rainbowbeard? I mean, c'mon. Some might say you're trying too hard, but I say you're not trying hard enough!

So, I hope you're happy, PP. You actually got me to read something for once and not hate/be disappointed by it. This'll be the first fic I've favorited in like 3 months.

:trixieshiftleft: Look what you made me do...

Oh god. That picture is awesome. Instafav'd.

I particularly like the crazy woodland ermit flutterman. :rainbowlaugh:

The King is hilarious, the beard thing is hilarious, and having a coughing prince named Asbestos is hilarious. This is really great, liked and fav'd... but I gotta wonder... are Celestia and Luna going to make an appearance in this story?

DAMMIT! I find this just as I need to go to Biology lab.

I'm shipping Prancebeard x Platinum, and you can't stop me :rainbowkiss: (doppleship is best ship)

Also, I look forward to Pinkbeard conjuring up an endless supply of family heirlooms, each of them his sole possession in the world. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

And Hushbeard is an earth pony, not a pegasus? Odd.

3181732 I think you mean 'representative', not 'reciprocal'.
3182466 Hairity!

Author Interviewer

Oh quite. :3 You might also be pleased by the review I gave Literary Love, Literally just now in my blog.

All I'll say is I've taken great pains to make sure everything lines up with canon. Canon, mind, not what we assume in between the gaps of what the show's given us.


I'm shipping Prancebeard x Platinum

No, stop! D:

And Hushbeard is an earth pony, not a pegasus? Odd.

Yes, you read that correctly. So it's 3 earth ponies, 2 unicorns and a pegasus.

those sexy beards merit a like!:pinkiegasp:

Your welcome.
(I'm a servant of Chaos, what did you expect?)

Is an earth pony... Or looks like an earth pony?
After all, what use would the druid have for wings when using them would separate him from the earth? And he does have the bulkiest clothing of the lot of them...

Not only am I shipping them, I'm turning their story of Forbidden Love into a trashy 'historical' romance novel and then letting Rarity read it. I can't help it, it's just too perfect. :raritystarry:

Yes! This story is featured! Yessss!


The party itself is fine, but regarding Clover x Pansy shipping, wasn't Smart Cookie the earth pony while Pansy was a pegasus (played by AJ and Fluttershy respectively)?

"Browse our fine metalwork, good sirrah?" asked the unicorn through the gaps in his smile.

If you're going for technically correct here, 'sirrah' is used when speaking to one's inferiors, and is often used condescendingly. 'Sir' would be the respectful version.

The ponies protested as one, but only Star Swirl was audible above the tumult. "Your Majesty, surely thou cannot be serious! Sending these colts on a mission of such importance, when we hardly know--"

Technically, I believe that 'cannot' should be 'canst not' here

"A fool to life your spirits in the darkest of times! Hmm, but let me think..."


'lift your spirits'...?

"He may the Unicorn King, but he no longer truly possesses a King's might. What is the worst that could possibly happen, should we refuse?"

may BE the unicorn king

Prancebeard stepped forward. "Thou art that Star Swirl? I wish thou had said something sooner; I'd have given thee a discount on thy mending!"

thou hadst said something


Anyway, this is quite amusing. I like your style here, there is just the right amount of detail for me to picture the scene, but not enough to become cumbersome. Splendid!

What an amazing beginning. I love how you managed to get the epic high fantasy adventure feel mixed in with the ridiculous comedy. Very excited to see how this progresses!

this story is just so...
BEARDIFUL! :rainbowkiss:

and the Mane 6 are obviously distant descendants of the Beard 6

Author Interviewer

Yeah, but... I'm shipping Clover with Smart Cookie. c.c

*chews on previous comments*

Many thanks. I've read that one shouldn't conjugate past-tense verbs, but the more I think about it, the more helping verbs feel better off ignoring that rule.

Could be! :D


Aha. I see where I erred:

Star Swirl mulled the words. "Pansy?"

(Clover) shook her head.

A shake means no, a nod would have been yes. :facehoof: My bad.

3185280 you need to put simon from the yogscast in here. one of his characters names is wait for it honeybeard.simon from yogscast

This was brolic. The only issue i could see was that at some points, the grammar was incorrect in terms of formality. i.e. the use of "thou" instead of "ye" and such. other than that, best use of archaic pronouns and conjugation i've seen in a fanfic. they usually butcher it so terribly i don't even comment on it. good on you.

OOOH HO HO! This story shlaps me on the knee! This beginning certainly was epic! OOOH HO HO! This quest shall be a tale to tell, and I will be anticipating to see what is yet to come. (I said shlaps for a reason)

By Celestia's beard, that was excellent.

P.S. Congratulations on the "mountain lion" idea. I had hoped to be the first to make that pun, but to see it in a story of this caliber is nigh-equally grand.

an awesome coincidence that I found this only a day after first listening to this song.

I was doubting at first...this could not be that amazing, it just couldn't. But as I read it, not only was I proven horribly wrong, but I enjoyed it immensely. Thank you for making me look like a complete idiot, and know that this is no sarcasm. I am indeed thankful, and feeling stupid and happy is better than smug and ignorant.

If you don't continue this, I will hunt you down say mean things on your doorstep. I assure you I can be quite annoying :pinkiehappy:

Author Interviewer

I kinda thought it was something like that. :)



The short version is: The show got it wrong, and I'm following their example. 'Thou' should be informal, but in ancient Equestria, it was the formal version. 'You' is used both informally and for addressing groups. I only use 'ye' to mark Applebeard saying 'you' through his accent. I am taking great care to make sure this remains consistent. Also, if you look closely, you'll be able to learn things about the characters and watch their relationships develop during the course of the story.

Check the A/N. It was entirely Saddlesoap Opera's idea. He mentioned the mane six fighting a 'mountain lion' offscreen in a story, and I just knew I had to steal it and give it life.

...That comic destroys the entire joke. :/

If I don't continue this, you will have my blessing to do so. :B I'm off to a good start at least!

Hm, I hadn't heard that. I'll do a bit of research.

3189192 ooooooooooooooh. That's clever then, I respect that a bit more than using the correct version. sticking to canon even when it's wrong, respect.


Well, I sincerely hope some one continues with this story!
Not only was it a pleasure to read I'm curious to see the origins of Discord as well!

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