Epic Generosity
Epic Unicorn History: The Beards of Harmony
by Present Perfect
Epic Generosity
"I see why... they call it... Misery Marsh..."
Prancebeard grimaced as, for the third time in a minute, his hoof sank deep into the squelching, roiling, foul-smelling muck beneath him. He avoided another taste of it by sheer will and reflex. All around them, the mire churned and bubbled, each pop releasing an odor akin to rotten eggs covered in hoof jam. The expanse of brown stretched in every direction into dismal, quiet darkness, as far as the eye could see.
"Ah, quit yer bellyachin'," Rainbowbeard said, zipping over his head.
Were he able to lift his leg, Prancebeard would have kicked a lump of muck at him. "I shall ask you once again to live with my 'bellyaching', as you are the only one among us who need not mire himself in this... this awful, wretched, filthy, disgusting slime!"
Rainbowbeard turned, crossing his arms over his chest, and smirked. "Aye, and I'm glad for it, too!" The others glowered at him as he laughed.
"Ach, me beard'll stink o' swamp 'til I cuts it off!" Applebeard spat into the mire, which gratefully accepted his offering. "Like that'll e'er happen!"
Rainbowbeard rolled his eyes. "Maybe Prancebeard can show you all how he keeps his beard so..." He waved a hoof. "Sticky-outy."
Prancebeard brightened slightly. "I've brought enough beard wax, methinks, that I could spare some for each of you."
The company groaned.
"Had you mentioned it sooner, friend Prancebeard," Hushbeard said, "you might have had takers."
"Friend Rainbowbeard," Star Swirl said, sighing, "we'd all greatly appreciate if you'd have some sympathy for us ground-bound ponies. Your boasting makes this leg of our trek all the more unbearable."
"Fine, fine." Rainbowbeard soared over to Pinkbeard and rummaged through his pack.
"Now what do you think you are doing in there?" Pinkbeard asked sourly.
If Rainbowbeard heard him, he didn't show it. "Are you sure we had to go this way, Star Swirl?"
"'Twas either this or the Glade of a Thousand Thorns," Star Swirl said with a huff.
Hushbeard snorted, slipping into the marsh up to his barrel. "I think there was no easy choice to be had."
"Ah, save it, you." Rainbowbeard unrolled the map and looked at it. Then he turned it right side up and looked at it again. "From that riverbend, 'tis Mis... ery... Marsh..." he read slowly. "Glade... yes, that. We're headed to the castle, so next is the G--"
"The Gorge," Star Swirl said.
"Eh, blasted thing." With a shrug, he rolled it back up and stowed it in his own pack. Pinkbeard looked up at him, face hanging.
"Oh, give me that back!" he cried, lower lip jutting forward. "'Twas my father's, you know!"
Applebeard clucked his tongue. "Ach, Rainbowbeard, let the lad be. 'E's 'avin' an 'ard enough time already!"
"Feh." Rainbowbeard carelessly tossed the map towards Pinkbeard, and it somehow slipped in between the straps of his pack, snug and secure. Pinkbeard breathed a sigh of relief while Rainbowbeard continued to grouse.
"I thought he was supposed to be the cheerful one. We're none of us enjoying ourselves right now, if you've not noticed."
"Aye an' I have," Applebeard said, pausing to wipe a strand of something green off his rear left. "You, fer instance, complain like an ol' nag."
The others chuckled. Rainbowbeard scowled.
"Well, maybe if Pinkbeard here sang a tune or somesuch, 'twould lighten the mood, eh?"
Pinkbeard's mane dragged through the muck as he hung his head.
"I haven't a song left inside me, I fear." He shook his head and muttered, "I hate being green. I detest being green!"
Rainbowbeard's frown carried on. "Oh come now, it can't be that bad. It suits you! Whoever heard of a pink stallion, anyway?"
"Rainbowbeard," Star Swirl said, an edge to his voice. "Leave off."
"Only trying to help." Rainbowbeard huffed and flapped off a few paces ahead of them.
"Hmm, but perhaps you've a good idea regardless," Prancebeard said, stopping to stretch his back and sinking further into the marsh. "This miserable mire is making us all so... miserable. Song would cheer us up, I think."
"Know you any?" Star Swirl asked.
"Why, as a matter of fact, one comes to me even now." Prancebeard smiled. "My brother and I sang it with our father, to keep time as we worked the bellows. He would hammer on the down beats, you see. Yes, now let me think, how did it go..."
He cleared his throat, lifted his head, and brought a hoof to his chest.
"A dragon is the finest creature eveeeer--"
The moment he opened his mouth, all the marsh bubbles popped. The trees overhead rattled and the mire crawled away from him. Star Swirl, Applebeard and Pinkbeard rushed in and simultaneously jammed their hooves into his gob. Pinkbeard, eyes wide, could only shake his head.
"Ach, ye've a voice fit t'wake the dead, laddie!" Applebeard said, cringing.
Star Swirl cleared his throat. "I think that's enough singing for now."
They relaxed and left Prancebeard to clean the filth off his tongue for the fifth time that morning.
After a moment, Rainbowbeard said, "D'you hear that?"
The six stallions lifted their heads, ears swiveling. Off to their left came the distant sound of a pony calling out.
"Is somepony out there? Help!"
"It sounds faint, and not just for distance," Star Swirl said, lighting his horn. A burst of magic later, and he was climbing atop a shimmering plane of light hovering just above the marsh's surface. Jaws dropped.
"You mean to tell me you could have magicked us over this marsh any time you wished?" Prancebeard hyperventilated until he looked fit to faint.
"You think I'm wading through this offal because I wish to?" Star Swirl snorted. "I may be a powerful mage, but I'd exhaust myself in keeping this spell operational long before we reached the other side. It should be enough to get to whoever it is that needs help, though. Come on!"
He galloped off, the others clambering on and running, or flying, after. The voice grew louder as they approached, yet even so it was audible only by virtue of the marsh's stillness.
"Help! Help me..."
The voice wavered in and out, punctuated by bouts of racking coughs. The magical pathway flickered out of existence just as the shouting pony came into view.
They could make out the shape of a stallion, lying upon the only island they had seen since entering the swamp that morning. It was not impressive, the grass patchy and brown, but the sight of solid land sent strength into their legs for climbing out of the mire to fill the little outcropping.
"Art thou injured?" Hushbeard knelt down beside the pony, pressing a hoof to his forehead. The lone pony's clothing hung from him like drapery, and he panted as he spoke.
"S-so... so hungry..."
An apple and a slice of bread floated to him in Prancebeard's magic.
"Here, eat."
He needn't have said anything. The bread was devoured the moment the other pony saw it, and he started chomping noisily on the apple almost before he had swallowed.
Then he paused. He looked at the apple, and up at Prancebeard. His face contracted in icy hatred before he resumed chewing the apple, more deliberately.
"How didst thou come to this wretched place?" Star Swirl asked, keeping his voice low.
"You should know, unicorn," the pony said through a mouthful of apple. His eyes narrowed at Star Swirl. "After all, 'twas you what threw me here three days ago."
All eyes turned to Star Swirl as he stroked his beard, humming and contemplating the ground.
"Three days ago, you say? Hmm, hmm..." After a few long moments, he said, "No, sorry, that ringeth not my bells."
Prancebeard slapped his forehead.
"I remember you, bandit king!" Rainbowbeard grabbed the gaunt earth pony by the scruff of his shirt. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't throw ya to the mercy of the swamp, ya thievin' blaggart!"
The pony coughed and smiled weakly. "If ya did, 'twould only prove me right, pegasus brute."
Rainbowbeard eyed him, but relaxed his hold. His captive's smile grew wider.
"You lot disgust me. Gallivantin' around, pretendin' yer all friends. Repulsive! It's not natural!"
"'Tis the new pony way," Star Swirl said darkly. "Thou wouldst do well to learn it."
The bandit made a guttural sound and turned away from them. Hushbeard took a step toward him.
"Tell me, what be thy name?"
"An' why should I?" The pony turned his head, lifting an eyebrow.
"Because," Hushbeard said, taking another step forward and lowering his head, "we've fed thee and listened to thy prattling. I encourage politeness." He stomped a hoof, gouging a large divot from the soggy earth and sending ripples through the marsh.
The pony swallowed, eyes wide. "Er, uh... Well, yes. C-Crookneck is my name. I suppose thanks should be given for the kindness."
"Hah!" Rainbowbeard stamped his hoof. "What a name fer a low-down thievin' bandit!"
"I'm a squash farmer!" Crookneck shouted, scowling at the pegasus. "I don't care who you are, I'll not stand for my good name bein' mocked!"
Applebeard frowned, giving the farmer-cum-bandit a dubious look. "Whit self-respectin' farmer wid stand unflinchin' i' the face o' winter eternal? Me own crops withered frae the conflict 'twixt the tribes."
Crookneck snorted. "Winter squashes don't care much about snow." He turned his back to them. "Why should I?"
Rainbowbeard let out a loud breath and shook his head. "We waste time dealing with this ingrate."
"Rainbowbeard is right," Prancebeard said, garnering shocked looks from the others. "I suggest we bring him with us and sort out our problems on the road."
"Are ye daft?" Rainbowbeard slapped his forehead. "We've nary the supplies for ourselves and you want to bring one more along?"
"Nevermind that," Crookneck said, scowling. "I'll take no generosity from unicorn or pegasus. I'd rather find my way out of this bloody forest on my own."
Star Swirl hmm'd. "'Tis quite the hike, I'll warn thee. And the forest is most treacherous."
"Feh." Crookneck shook his head. "I'll just go the way you came. Whoever heard of an earth pony lost in a forest, after all?"
Applebeard and Pinkbeard threw each other looks.
Prancebeard stepped toward Crookneck, who stepped back in turn. "Can I at least convince thee to take some provisions?" He held out a hoof, only to have it slapped away.
"Bah, I've had enough of your charity, unicorn." Crookneck spat on the ground and hopped from the island, sinking to his knees in the muck. "I tire of your unity and friendship as well. I'll show you all just how strong earth ponies are by escapin' this blasted forest on my lonesome!"
Without another word, he waded into the muck, grumbling under his breath. The other stallions watched him go with mixed frustration and confusion.
"Did anyone else notice," Star Swirl began, "that he placed our first encounter at three days ago?"
"I had noticed, yes," Prancebeard said. "What of it?"
"By my estimation," Star Swirl said, stroking his beard, "it has been but one."
"Er, fellows..." Hushbeard began.
"I thought ye didnae recall that incident," Applebeard said, glancing sidelong at Star Swirl.
Hushbeard tried again. "I say, gentlestallions..."
Star Swirl smirked. "A bit of feigned ignorance gave me leave to ponder the disparity. All I can make of it is that we are truly in a strange and dangerous place."
Hushbeard scowled. "The bloody mire is--"
"Enough chatter," Rainbowbeard huffed. "If it's so blasted dangerous here, then let's get a move on!"
The ground heaved, and they became aware of the mire around them churning and bubbling. The entire island on which they stood lifted into the air and began to submerge, a tired groan coming from it.
"I tried to warn you," Hushbeard said, shaking his head, and he took off over the mire.
"I think that was quite the idea for once!" Pinkbeard shouted, picking up his lute and hightailing it across the surface of the mire after him, the others not far behind.
Never before had so many ponies made such good time through so thick a swamp.
"That's not a gorge."
Several hours and many leagues of tramping up a steady incline later, the six stallions stood at the bottom of a mountain. It had appeared rather suddenly: the endless dark trees before them stopped, revealing it rising from the murky mists like the neck of a buried giant. Its sides were entirely bare of vegetation and its peak disappeared into the cloud layer.
Nor was it the sole mountain before them. Other lesser peaks jutted to either side, stretching more than a day's walk in either direction. Star Swirl frowned at the map, turning it around and around in his magic.
"Bloody blasted..." He slapped it with a hoof. "Even the bloody map shows mountains here! These landmarks were named by an utter fool!"
All eyes turned to Pinkbeard, who shrugged in as green a manner as a pony could.
"Well, what do you want me to make of the thing? 'Tis not like I wrote it. I said, 'twas a gift!" Face sour, he turned away from them.
"Ech, I could still use less bellyachin'," Rainbowbeard muttered.
"As could we all," Hushbeard murmured, eying him.
"Keep the heid!" Applebeard admonished. "Gorge or mountain, the question is, how're we tae get 'round it?"
Star Swirl shook his head and folded the map back into Pinkbeard's pack. "A pass is our best hope, but the map indicates no such thing. There are too many of us for flying, unless you wanted to take a day or three ferrying us one by one, Rainbowbeard."
Rainbowbeard looked for a moment like he might consider the challenge. Then his lip curled and he stuck out his tongue. "Er, on second thought, I think 'twouldn't be the best of ideas."
"Climbing would take just as long," Prancebeard pointed out.
"Aye, but climb we must." Star Swirl hefted his pack and made for the mountain. "Heh, if we're lucky, perhaps we shall find a tunnel through the blasted thing."
"Oh what, do you mean like the one over there?"
They all turned to look where Pinkbeard was pointing. To their right, just a short climb up the rockface, was an easy-to-miss dark indentation.
"Well I'll be a dighted tattyboggle," said Applebeard. "Well done, Pinkbeard!"
Prancebeard smiled, placing a hoof on Pinkbeard's back. "Perhaps this leg of the journey won't be such an ordeal as the last!"
"Famous last words," Rainbowbeard said, clearing his throat and shifting on his hooves. "Can't say as I like the look of it. How do we even know it goes through the mountain?"
"Only one way to find out," Hushbeard said, casting a pointed glance at Rainbowbeard.
The pegasus shivered, closing his eyes. "O-on second thought, mayhaps it would be better for me to just, heh, fly you all over the blasted thing. Bit of a strain on the old wings, but I could handle it!" He puffed out his chest, but his nervous smile rather deflated the image.
"What's wrong?" Applebeard said, leering at him. "Skerrit o' darkness?"
Rainbowbeard snarled. "You've never been with a pegasus underground before, I'd wager! We get stir-crazy right quick if we can't see the sky for long."
"Well, could you pretend it was nighttime instead?" Pinkbeard asked.
"Rah, be off with ye, ye green pinhead!" Rainbowbeard scowled at him and crossed his hooves over his chest. "I'm not goin' in, and that's final!"
"Oh?" Star Swirl raised an eyebrow. "Going to fly by your lonesome over a bloody great mountain, are you?"
Opening one eye, Rainbowbeard regarded him disdainfully. "Aye, so what?"
Prancebeard caught Star Swirl's wink and grin. "So, you should be worried about sky panthers."
"Aye," said Applebeard, "and dragons!"
"Let us not forget great winged serpents," Star Swirl added, staring Rainbowbeard down. "Methinks even with your speed, you'd not outrun a pack of ravenous cloud badgers now."
The color drained from Rainbowbeard's face. "C-cloud badgers, you say?"
"We've encountered many a fantastic beast in this forest already," Hushbeard rumbled. "I'd not put it past them to make an appearance."
Pinkbeard crept up toward Rainbowbeard and laid a hoof on him. "Just close both your eyes if you feel a bit scared."
"Aye," Star Swirl said, nodding. "We'll all be there with you for moral support! Should you take the tunnel, that is."
Rainbowbeard slapped at Pinkbeard's hoof, taking to the air. "Bah! I'm not scared, you lot of sentimental louts! And I'll prove it by leadin' you all into that blasted dark hole! Forward!"
With his best military yell and a burst of speed, he put the others at his back and raced for the entrance. They tried their best to hold back the snickering as they ran after him.
"I seek to live free of regret, but I'm fairly sure this is not one I can avoid."
Rainbowbeard led the procession through tunnels barely large enough to stand upright in while peering out through his wings. Hushbeard, near the back of the party, had to stoop slightly, and ended up with quite a lot more green tail in his nose than he really desired. Star Swirl, second from the front, and Prancebeard, in the back, provided light, for none entered the mountain beyond the tunnel's first few lengths.
Shadows danced over the rough walls. The only sound besides their hooves against the stone was the steady, rhythmic hush of winds from somewhere far ahead. They took this as a sign the tunnel pierced the mountain straight through, having agreed that it was definitely not the breath of a great, hungry beast lying in wait for them.
"Ah ken how apples feel when bein' made intae jelly," Applebeard said, wiping at his brow.
"Aye," said Prancebeard, the light from his horn stretching the shadows as he inclined his head. "Despite the chill, this tunnel is dashedly oppressive."
"I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling that," Star Swirl muttered.
"Methinks that the atmosphere's somehow possessed," Pinkbeard moaned. "I wish we had never come into this place."
"Ah, stow it," Rainbowbeard grumbled. There was no venom in his words, nor vitriol in the rebuttals from the rest of the group. Silence reigned for the next few minutes, until Rainbowbeard perked, dropping his wings.
"Hold on, lads, I think..."
He dashed ahead, and though none were too keen to follow, they picked up the pace while doing their best not to trip over one another. As they moved, the tunnel widened and the ceiling raised. It wasn't long before Rainbowbeard stopped them with a shout.
"Ha ha! A room, as I suspected!"
He swept his hoof out, showing off a cavern far larger than their magical lights could illuminate. Star Swirl cast his into an orb and tossed it up. It spent a full ten seconds in flight, brushing the tips of rough stalactites on the cavern's roof. Where it landed, it lit stonework that must have been ancient, if the worn carvings were any indicator. A long, low flight of stairs curved gently up to a higher tunnel, narrowing as it went. Columns, fluted at the tops, some broken, flanked the steps and moved out along the walls. Star Swirl sent out another ball of light, which landed among a field of small cairns lining a wide, flat path through the center.
"I like the look of those stairs," Rainbowbeard said, finding his smile again. "I suspect we're on the right path!"
"I concur." Star Swirl nodded. "Let's get a move on."
They trotted down the path, Rainbowbeard grinning as he took to the air, but as they traveled, their pace gradually slowed.
"S-say, fellows," said Prancebeard, swallowing. "Does anypony else think those little piles of rock look an awful lot like..."
Rainbowbeard turned to them, eyes wide. "Like tombstones?"
They all shared an uneasy glance.
Somewhere in the chamber, a rock shifted, the sound echoing off the stones, tinny and shrill. Pinkbeard jumped into Hushbeard's forelegs, teeth chattering. Rainbowbeard slammed his wings over his eyes once again, plummeting and landing on his rump. Prancebeard shut his eyes tight, shaking his head and shivering.
Star Swirl scoffed, rounding on them.
"Now see here, you lot! What's with all the cowering? It's obvious naught's lived here for centuries but ghosts!"
Pinkbeard clutched at Hushbeard's neck. "I really don't see how a ghost isn't worse!"
Star Swirl rolled his eyes. "There's naught to be scared of. Just steel yourselves and... Applebeard, you've been awfully quiet. What in blazes are you..."
He turned, following the line of Applebeard's outstretched, shaky hoof. Star Swirl's jaw dropped.
Before them, behind them, and from everywhere around them, skeletons rose from the ground and advanced on them, silent as death. In front were the shortest ones, barely taller than a pony's knee, eye sockets gaping and enormous, limbs spindly and too long for their stubby bodies. Behind them were long, low dog-shaped creatures with round faces, ribs all but dragging on the floor as they gamboled forth. Last were the tallest, taller even than Hushbeard, walking upright and bearing the remnants of rugged bronze armor and spears, not to mention squared-off porcine death grins.
"To arms!" Star Swirl shouted, taking a step back and loosing a bolt of energy. It slammed into one of the dog creatures, blowing it to pieces. Two more took its place in the dim glow of the magic blast.
"To arms!" Rainbowbeard echoed, and took to the sky, harrying the tall porcine skeletons, their spears crumbling against his armor.
"Oh dear," said Prancebeard, his voice weak. He lifted one of the smallest and threw it into one of its neighbors, turning both into piles of bones. "Oh, help! Oh, by my dear, sweet grandfather in the stars, somepony help!"
Applebeard rushed to the side, stomping wildly and scattering bones left and right. Hushbeard joined him, though with a wailing Pinkbeard clinging to his neck, he found himself rather unable to maneuver.
"The dead ought stae dead!"
"Aye, and I've no qualm sending them back to their graves!" Hushbeard roared and stomped, shaking the cavern floor. The two skeletons nearest him vibrated to pieces, but two of the small ones leapt for his sides, remarkably agile for things devoid of muscle. Pinkbeard, still wailing, kicked at them until they dislodged, while maintaining his death grip on Hushbeard's neck.
"There's so blasted many of them!" Star Swirl reared back, loosing a lightning bolt that struck one, then another, then another. The energy crackled over the bones of each monster until they fell apart at the joints.
"Too many!" Rainbowbeard said from above. He slammed one of the pig creatures down into a dog and used its spear's haft to scramble two of the smaller ones before it, too, broke.
Sweat rolled down Prancebeard's face as he conjured a plane of force between himself and the onrushing skeletons. "We must make for the stairs, or I fear we shan't escape this place alive!"
Star Swirl kicked at one of the small ones, reducing it to powder. Sending a blast of magical energy to bolster the other unicorn's weak shield, he roared, "Aye! Clear a path, lads!"
Rainbowbeard sprang into action before Star Swirl had finished speaking, wrenching a spear away from one of the pig-things and clutching it in his teeth. With a powerful sweep of his wings, he drove forward, jaw clenched tightly around the spear haft. The ends were at just the right height to drive through the necks of the pig-things to either side of him, divesting them of their heads. He plowed a line toward the stairs, stopping only after a dozen had fallen and the spear broke.
"Path's begun!" He spit out the butt-end of the haft and drove the point through the eye socket of a dog-skeleton, tethering it to the ground. Wrenching its body free of its skull, he used it as a club, driving back the smaller creatures surrounding him. "Forward! Your lives depend on it!"
Applebeard surged ahead, lashing out and felling skeletons with each blow. Star Swirl let Hushbeard and Pinkbeard move ahead of him, helping Prancebeard shore up their rear defense.
As Pinkbeard continued to wail, Hushbeard ground his teeth. He paused, letting Applebeard past and stomping on anything that got too close. When enough space had been cleared, he clamped his hooves over Pinkbeard's.
"Hold on, fool, if you value your life."
"Wh--"
Hushbeard stood, whipped Pinkbeard off his back, and whirled. As they spun, he weaved the bard up and down, felling skeletons of all sizes in a wide swath around them. They moved gradually forward, stopping only when Applebeard had to duck under the flailing hooves. It was then that Pinkbeard finally stopped screaming.
"Methinks," he moaned, lying on his back as his eyes spun, "that I'd like it if I were not green."
"Put a sock in it!" Rainbowbeard snapped. He leapt forward, crushing two skeletons together, and placing a hoof on the lowest step. "Star Swirl, move your rump!"
The others piled in behind him, skeletons crowding around the landing but harried by the stairs. Star Swirl and Prancebeard pushed through the bottleneck, magical barrier keeping the horde back, if only just. It clamped over the mouth of the tunnel at the top of the stairs as they rejoined their companions.
"Can you hold it a mite longer, lad?"
Prancebeard swallowed and nodded.
"Good. Hushbeard!" Star Swirl bellowed. "Lend me your strength!"
Hushbeard gave Star Swirl a confused look, but moved to his side. The unicorn placed a hoof on him, channeling magic through his horn and squeezing his eyes closed. His voice rose in a primal shout, growing in pitch and intensity. Cracks appeared in the magical barrier as skeletons hammered on it from the other side.
Star Swirl's eyes snapped open. "Why does it not work?"
He cast a look of confusion at Hushbeard, whose expression provided no answer. Star Swirl's frown deepened.
"Applebeard, you as well! I need more power!"
Applebeard shook his head as he moved to Star Swirl's other side. "I've nae clue whit yer on aboot..."
Star Swirl slapped his hoof against Applebeard's shoulder, closing his eyes once more. This time, the room shook with the intensity of his voice. The barrier before them broke, but the first skeletons who entered were crushed as rocks fell, sealing off the entrance.
Rainbowbeard and Prancebeard let up a cheer, Prancebeard lighting his horn once more. When the shaking stopped, Star Swirl opened his eyes, nodding to Applebeard and Hushbeard, his gaze lingering on the latter.
"Geomancy is easiest when aided by a strong earth pony."
"Feh." Rainbowbeard shook his head. "You picked the wrong pony to help you, Star Swirl."
Star Swirl whirled on him, scowling.
"I grow weary of your foul attitude, Rainbowbeard the Swift!" He stamped a hoof, shaking the tunnel walls, and lit his horn brightly enough that Rainbowbeard had to shield his eyes. "Pray keep your mouth shut, lest I see fit to shut it for you!"
He stomped off down the tunnel. "Come on. The only way is forward."
Rainbowbeard watched the others trudge off behind Star Swirl, mouth agape. Prancebeard gently closed it with his magic as he passed.
"Best not to attract flies," he said softly. "Who knows what they've feasted upon, down here."
With a look that could curdle milk, Rainbowbeard crossed his arms over his chest and gloomily followed after. "I still blame your singing."
From that point, the tunnel was wider than it had been on the approach to the graveyard chamber, and the upward incline more pronounced. In the same way, the winds grew stronger, though it was necessary for Rainbowbeard to spread his wings at intersections to find its direction.
Now more than ever, the tunnels twisted and turned, branching in all directions every now and again. Down darkened halls, they caught glimpses of wide rooms, alcoves, and doorways, not to mention statuary, frescoes, and even the desiccated remains of plants that had not seen light in centuries.
They were the closest things to living creatures haunting the undermountain. While it was obvious that someone had once lived down here, they had left nothing of themselves behind. Outside the graveyard, only the wind caused anything to move.
"Truly now," Star Swirl said, his hushed voice sliding off the walls, "apprehension grows within my breast. I can think of no source to this wind but a monstrous one."
The others silently nodded. Onward they trod.
After one such intersection, the tunnel curved sharply to the left and the incline steepened further. Features set in grim determination, the six stallions readied themselves for what was to come. When before, their steps might have been hesitant and their minds distracted by the twists and turns of the tunnels, now they marched forward in lockstep, heads down and hooves pounding the stones.
Even if Pinkbeard did start nibbling his halfway up.
The passage spiralled ever upward, and at each turn, the winds grew stronger. First the non-pegasi felt them. Then their beards ruffled. By the third revolution, Star Swirl's bells tinkled lightly. Always, the breathing grew louder and more inescapable.
"This is it," Star Swirl said quietly. "Prepare yourselves."
One final turn, and the passageway opened into a cathedral.
The room was not as wide around as the graveyard, yet it was at least twice as high. The walls were smoother than the other chambers, with no stalactites nor stalagmites marring the contours of the expanse. It was merely a graceful egg-shaped dome rising above them.
Inexplicably, they could see clear as day, though no source of light was obvious. And what they saw was not what any of them had expected. On the far side of the chamber, at the end of a smoothed-out path, sat a throne. Even from the entrance, it loomed above them, carved from the rock face with a plethora of star bursts and harsh angles. Whatever ruler it might have seated would have been utterly dwarfed by it. They hoped.
As they stepped from the tunnel's darkness into the light of the chamber, a mighty roar rattled their teeth. The wind blew their beards and clothing backwards. This, then, was the eye of the storm, the source which they had so long sought.
And it stank.
"Pee-yew!" Rainbowbeard's face contorted into a grimace as he held a hoof to his nose. "Applebeard, calm yer nethers! I'm right behind you!"
"'Tweren't me, ye gowk featherbrain!" Applebeard shouted, insult just barely winning out over disgust.
"Hush!" Star Swirl stepped between them, pointing ahead.
As the sextet squinted at the mammoth carved throne, they could just make out a figure atop it. It lay on its side, unmoving. Exchanging looks, they crept toward it, weathering another blast of wind. As the figure came more into view, however, they dispelled any attempt at stealth.
The thing was not just tiny, but wizened. Whatever it had been in life, death had shrunk its dimensions to that of a foal. They approached within three body lengths of the throne, at the base of the great steps leading upward, and could make out the lines of a wide mouth cast in a permanent frown in the wrinkled, desiccated flesh. Its only clothing was a tattered, faded vest that had once been a deep maroon, and a simple crown with haphazard points, which ringed a floppy cloth hat.
"Here lieth the... the great King of the mountain," Hushbead intoned. "Whoever he was, may he and his subjects find eternal rest."
They bowed their heads.
The silence was broken by the sound of coughing, and the coughing was broken by the sound of screaming.
The figure upon the throne sat bolt upright, its joints and skin creaking and cracking under the weight of ages of disuse. Clouds of dust poured from its mouth as it hacked and sputtered, and more dust sloughed off its body.
Pinkbeard jumped into Hushbeard's arms. Rainbowbeard jumped into Star Swirl's. Applebeard and Prancebeard clutched at each other, teeth chattering, until a hoarse voice tore through the great room, echoing though tiny and brittle.
"Wa... ter..."
Prancebeard moved before any of them could think, leaping to his hooves and rushing up the steps while pulling his canteen from his saddlebags.
"Drink," he said, pushing it under the creature's face with his magic.
The canteen was accepted and drained with all haste. As the creature drank, its skin uncreased and grew slightly glazed. Jowls filled out, and a wrinkled brow and numerous warts and blemishes became more pronounced.
When he had finished the water, the creature tossed the canteen aside, wiped his arm across his lips, and belched. "Thanks!"
Prancebeard blinked and swallowed, retrieving his canteen. "Y-you are welcome." He backed slowly down the stairs, never taking his eyes off the being before him.
The creature flexed his arms, wincing as his joints continued to pop. Rubbing at his eyes, he blinked several times, then looked over the ponies before him as if noticing them for the first time.
"Ponies..." His voice was deep and gravelly, now that he had quenched his thirst. "Not seen ponies in long time. Look different."
Said ponies glanced at one another.
"Who might you be?" Star Swirl asked, wariness warring with politeness in his voice.
"Oh!" The creature slapped his palm against his temple and winced. "Nap for thousands of years and forget manners. I am Hugo, King of Grundles!"
Another round of exchanged glances.
"Grundles?" said Rainbowbeard. "Never heard of 'em."
Hugo grinned. "Not surprised. Grundles all ascend centuries ago."
This earned more confused looks.
"This 'ere 'ascendin'' wouldnae have anythin' t' do wi' the 'orde o' undead monsters what we fought on the way 'ere, would et?" Applebeard scratched at his beard, grimacing.
Hugo shook his head, frowning. "No." He sighed. "Troggles, Bushwoolies, Furbobs, not enlightened like Grundles. Weighed down by regrets." He closed his eyes. "Sorry to hear they still angry. Apologies."
Star Swirl stroked his beard. "If the Grundles 'ascended', as Your Highness says, why are you still here?"
Hugo spread his arms. "Someone had to close door behind!"
"Anypony else notice the wind's stopped?" Rainbowbeard whispered, earning an elbow in the side from Applebeard.
"Oh." Hugo laughed. "Apologies for snoring."
"No need, Your Highness," Prancebeard said, shaking his head. "And let us not forget our manners. I am Prancebeard the Dashing. These are Rainbowbeard the Swift, Hushbeard the Gentle, Pinkbeard the Pink, Applebeard the Stalwart, and Star Swirl the Bearded."
The smile on Hugo's face threatened to crack the sides of his already impressive jawline. "I sense theme! Which is Pinkbeard?"
"The green one," Star Swirl said, his expression flat.
"Wonderful!" Hugo nodded. "Ponies and Grundles were always friends. Can we still be? Well, that depends!"
"Depends on what?" asked Hushbeard, wariness in his voice.
Hugo put a hand to his shoulder and tried swinging it in an arc. He only made it halfway around before wincing. "Still worn out from nap. Too weak to do anything. Ponies have food?"
"I've trail rations, though not much," Prancebeard said immediately, holding forth his saddlebag. Hugo seemed entranced by the magical display, simple though it was, and stared at the bag for a few moments before sniffing it.
"Hmm. Smells good. Not right kind, though." He smacked his lips. "Need strength to ascend."
Prancebeard glanced back at the others. "Er, ascend...?"
"Yes!" Hugo spread his arms once more, grinning. "Been waiting long, long time. Now ponies are here, can close door behind me."
"That'd leave us stuck in this mountain!" Rainbowbeard flew up, thrashing his arms. "We came all this way thinkin' your windbaggyness was an exit! I can't fly everypony out that hole up there!"
"Ponies still fly?" Hugo blinked at him, then scratched his side. "Good news!" He nodded. "Don't worry, friend Rainbowbeard. When strength returns, will open door. Then you can go out and explore!"
"I do rather like how he rhymes now and then," Pinkbeard said to Hushbeard, smiling.
"Very well," said Prancebeard, turning back to Hugo, "we shall help you recover your strength. What sustenance do you require, Your Highness?"
Hugo grinned. Unlike all the smiles he had so freely given out up till then, this one was different. Cold hunger glinted in his eyes. His lips curled back like those of a predator. Most of all, the ponies became very aware that his teeth were serrated as he drew out a single word, savoring it.
"Flesh..."
The six ponies swallowed audibly.
"F-flesh, you say?" Rainbowbeard said, beard braids aquiver.
The King let out a few hacking coughs, which they slowly realized was actually laughter.
"Kidding." All animalism faded from his countenance as he gave them what could graciously be called a smile. "Only need blood. Flesh just a joke. Not so bad when you hear that spoke."
The ponies looked at each other.
Rainbowbeard's mouth hung open. "Did he just--"
Hushbeard held up his hoof, stopping him. "We've neither, I'm afraid."
"Oh well." Hugo shrugged and yawned. "It okay. Will probably continue nap. Maybe hundred years, maybe two. Was nice meeting you ponies."
"Wait!" Prancebeard stepped forward. He looked back at his companions, his expression tight. They regarded him with a mix of wary anxiety.
"Take from me what you need."
"What?" shouted Rainbowbeard, Star Swirl and Applebeard. Pinkbeard's mouth hung open and Hushbeard took two steps forward.
"You can't be serious!"
Prancebeard swallowed. "I am." He turned back to Hugo, scanning the wrinkly visage as he spoke. "We are in need of passage through the mountain so that we may complete our quest, and you need to reach your ascension, whatever that may be. Neither can be accomplished unless you have the... blood you require to regain your strength. Therefore, take of me what you need, and we shall each have what he desires."
Hugo tilted his head, regarding Prancebeard as one regards a desert mirage while trying to decide if it is real. "You sure? Could hurt."
"Hesitate no longer!" Prancebeard shouted, shutting his eyes. "Just do it!"
"Okay, if you say..."
Hugo stood, letting out a pained cry as his back hitched. Bending at the waist, he took his time dismounting the throne, step by shaky step. At his full height, the top of his crown only came up to the styled purple goatee. He placed a hand on Prancebeard's shoulder, and the unicorn shivered.
"Will make sure not to take too much, okay?"
Prancebeard nodded sharply, still shaking and keeping his eyes shut. He unbuckled his peytral with his magic, exposing his neck and the top of his withers.
With great effort, Hugo hauled his way up onto Prancebeard's back, leaned over, and bit into the base of his neck.
Prancebeard shouted and the stallions rushed forward, but at the sound of their hooves clattering against the rock, Prancebeard turned.
"Stay back! Let him..." He grit his teeth and sank to one knee, peytral clattering to the stone as his magic flickered out. "I-i-it's not so bad, really..."
"Prancebeard..." Hushbeard took one more step forward, faltering.
Hugo coughed and sputtered, spraying the back of Prancebeard's neck with little red flecks and revealing the small holes in his skin. Prancebeard sank to all four knees, panting, a sheen of sweat across his forehead.
"How can you choke on blood?" Rainbowbeard's wan coloring belied the force of his voice. "Have you never done this before?"
The King shook his head. "Grundles not usually drink blood. Prefer meat. But after Kingsleep, blood better." Leaning up, he murmured to Prancebeard, "Almost done. Can feel it working."
Sure enough, his joints no longer creaked when he moved, and his skin was supple and smooth, glowing in the dim cavern light.
"Good blood, tastes noble."
"Th-thank you?" Prancebeard's voice was stretched like a violin string, audible only thanks to the cavern's acoustics.
Hugo resumed sucking at the holes, and Prancebeard visibly wilted. His eyelids fluttered, and his breath came in long, ragged streams. Again, the other ponies stepped toward the dais, lips taut and gazes never leaving him.
"Hold on, Prancebeard," Star Swirl murmured.
With a sharp inhalation, Hugo rocked back. Prancebeard rocked forward and sprawled over the top steps, wheezing and unable to move. The ponies rushed forward but were repelled as light poured from Hugo's skin. It was strong enough to warm them, and for a moment, even Prancebeard forgot that he was at death's door.
Hugo rose into the air, accompanied by the tinkling of ethereal bells. Light poured across the stone walls, sharpening creases worn by time. From his back sprouted two feathery wings of pure radiance, and his crown rose to float above his head. Gone were his warts and wrinkles, replaced by smooth skin and a majestic, rugged face, truly befitting a King.
"By the stars above," Star Swirl whispered.
When Hugo spoke, his voice resounded like a stringed orchestra, mellow and beatific.
"At last... I can go home..."
"What're you doing?" Rainbowbeard grabbed Star Swirl by the beard, shaking his head. "Stop being impressed!" He turned to Hugo, who floated slowly upward, and shook his hoof. "What about Prancebeard! Are you just going to leave him to die?"
"Aye, an' what about the exit?" Applebeard added, matching Rainbowbeard's fury.
"Oh," said Hugo, opening eyes that sparkled with stars. "So much excitement. Almost forgot."
He raised one arm slightly, and Prancebeard was suffused by light as bright as that which had come with Hugo's transformation. The other ponies backed down the stairs, repelled by the luminance. When the light dissipated, Prancebeard remained, hale and whole, asleep on the stone dais.
The others rushed to his side and he groaned. They helped him to his hooves, ascertaining that he was, indeed fully healed. Then they knocked him right back over with hearty back-slapping.
"Other friend needs aid," Hugo intoned, lifting his other arm. Pinkbeard glowed with the same light, returning to him his original pinkness.
"Oh happy day!" he shouted, leaping up and clicking his hooves together. "At last, I am restored!"
"And now, debt repaid," Hugo intoned, lifting toward a glowing blue hatch that had not been in the ceiling of the cavern moments before. "Be well, friends! Remember me!"
"But the door!" Star Swirl shouted.
"Close door behind," Hugo called back, "another you find!"
With that, he entered the hatch, vanishing in the brilliant light pouring forth from it.
Rainbowbeard crouched, but Star Swirl placed a hoof on his shoulder.
"I suspect 'tis not material." His horn glowed, and he strained, trying to force the hatch closed.
"It won't budge!" he grunted. "Move, curse you. Move!"
"Um, Star Swirl?" Prancebeard said, his voice shaking. "You may wish to close it sooner than later!"
A long pink tentacle poked through the hatch from the other side, accompanied by an unearthly roar. The appendage streaked down towards them, and Prancebeard and Pinkbeard shouted in alarm.
Straining, Star Swirl shut his eyes. When the tentacle had reached halfway to the floor, he finally was able to move the hatch, which slammed shut with enough force to sever it. The thing behind the hatch screamed in pain, while its lost extremity fell to the floor, exploding when it hit the ground and showering them in pink goop.
"When I die," Star Swirl said as the ectoplasm evaporated from them, leaving behind only a foul stench and a sensation of moist wrongness, "be sure I am cremated."
Once it had dissipated fully, the cavern shook. Something beneath them rumbled, and they backed down the steps.
The great throne split down the middle, and the two halves slid apart to reveal a passageway beyond. When it had widened enough that they could have fit through six abreast, the rumbling ceased, leaving the cavern to reverberate with the machine's roar.
"Now that is a door!" Rainbowbeard said with a grin.
Star Swirl let out a breath and smiled at Prancebeard. "'Tis good to have you hale and whole once again, lad."
"Aye, an' it is," said Applebeard.
"Aye!" said the other four.
"I've one question for you, though," Star Swirl continued.
Prancebeard shrugged, reclaiming his peytral and buckling it back into position. "Ask."
"How did you know the King would heal you once he'd ascended?"
Prancebeard was silent a long moment as he checked over his armor.
"I didn't."
Unlike the rough hewn tunnels they had traveled before, the new one was mostly smooth, the floor especially, though still dark as any. It took a slow right turn with a gentle slope upward, and they made good time.
The temperature steadily fell as they climbed. More and more ice crystals coated the walls, the ceiling, and finally the floor, bringing them to a halt. The winds picked up as teeth began chattering and Star Swirl tried to remember a heating spell.
Then a sound floated through the dark tunnel that chilled their blood: a low, ghostly whinny that they had all heard but three years earlier.
"It can't be," Star Swirl gasped, his voice hitching in his throat.
IT IS
The wind howled and snow burst forth from up the tunnel along with three ethereal white figures. Their frosty breath chilled the air further as they swirled around the six ponies, who clustered in the center of the tunnel, teeth bared and eyes wide.
LOOK AT THE LITTLE PONIES
OFF ON A LITTLE QUEST
THINK THEY'RE CLOSE TO WINNING
"Leave off, ya monsters!" Rainbowbeard said, taking a step forward and swiping at one. His hoof passed through it. "Our kind's burnt you to ash before, and we'll do it again!"
At the sound of his voice, the others stirred, straightening and glaring at the windigoes in anger rather than fear.
"How are you even here?" Star Swirl asked this more of himself than anyone else.
LITTLE PONIES TRIED TO BURN US
TRIED TO MAKE US GO AWAY
NOT SO EASILY BEATEN ARE WE
"Dinnae try an' stop us," Applebeard said. "We'll turn ye to water faster 'n you kin blink!"
WE WERE WEAK BUT WE GROW STRONGER
ASKED THE STARS TO GET RID OF PONIES
STARS ANSWERED AND NOW IT'S TOO LATE
The chill that ran down Star Swirl's spine had nothing to do with the temperature in the tunnel. "W-what do you mean, 'too late'?"
The windigoes responded with a harsh, biting whinny of laughter.
ALMOST AT THE END
GO SEE FOR YOURSELVES
GO SEE WHAT HAS PASSED
They laughed while the stallions took shots at them. But hoof and tooth, lute and magic alike passed through them without effect. The windigoes blew frost upon them, chilling their armor.
"The fire of friendship lives in our hearts," Star Swirl intoned, closing his eyes. He concentrated on Clover's face and felt something spark in his horn. "So long as it burns..." He grunted and strained, sweat beading on his forehead as a bird-sized heart surrounded by fire took shape above his head.
"We shall not drift apart!"
He opened eyes blazing with white energy and the heart pulsed once. The windigoes cried out as the small heat shockwave evaporated them. The ice on the walls and floor receded immediately. All was still save for Star Swirl catching his breath.
"Never could... figure out... how she made it... look so easy..."
Applebeard helped him to his hooves, but was brushed off.
"No time," Star Swirl grunted with a shake of his head. "To the exit, and quick!"
He galloped off, and the others followed without hesitation. It was another turn before they saw dim light ahead, and a half turn after that they caught sight of the exit. They charged out of the tunnel into the evening air, finding themselves atop a cliff, a single path winding down the rock face to their left.
They stood for a moment, taking in fresh air free of winter's chilly sting. To the north, the ruins of a castle poked up from the trees, merely a day's journey away. Presented with their destination, their hearts lifted. But as they tracked over the black treetops of the Forest Ever Free, one by one their faces fell just as quickly.
In the distance, the spires of Canterlot Castle rested above the mountain. In the waning light of the sunset, the houses and shops of Canterlot proper skulked alongside the streets.
Save the ones that floated upside-down above the ground.
The trees had been painted in garish stripes, polka dots and swirls. The mountain itself sported a tartan of green and purple. The fields were too far away to make out what, exactly, grew in them, but it was definitely moving.
Above the town, a shadow stretched over the land, one they had seen only in the recreation of a dream. It turned toward them, waved, winked, and blew a kiss.
Star Swirl's heart sank. His jaw quivered and his knees shook. He felt as though his magic had been drained completely away as the words of windigoes returned to him.
"We're too late."
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What does it say about me that when I read the windigo voices, I gave them the voices of the pink and blue unicorns from Charlie the Unicorn?
5448886
It says you are a very silly pony. :B
BAH GAWD KING GRUNDLE.
Lol, vore.
>:O DISCR0D!!! ERMAGHERD IMMA KEEL U!!!! *Alondro launches through the story like a Falcon punch and knees Discord in the nuts with a blow that would trigger a supernova!!*
Aw, Pinkbeard's finished his anapesto. At least he can wash it down with an iambic.
5466434
I'm glad someone appreciated that. :)
The LOTR references are strong in this chapter.
5576876
Really? I don't think I was referencing LOTR at all, at least not consciously... c.c
5577206 Well, the bit with the skeletons gave me strong "Aragorn meets the King of the Dead" vibes, which were only reinforced when our party met Hugo.
5579007
Definitely unintentional. :B
The very concept of this story is scary....
Oh look, a chapter I should have read and commented on months ago.
And my god I should have, that was a fantastic portrayal of
RarityPrancebeard and generosity. Star Swirl pulling in power through various party members was interesting, too. Now I want to see a story with Twilight doing absolutely crazy stuff by drawing on magic through Pinkie. Or Rainbow. (Rainboom Magic Cannon, I can just see it. Hell, I'm tempted to go find an artist and commission it.)Other dimensions of being are always so problematic. Given what was on the other side, it was really polite of Hugo to hang around so long keeping that door closed.
Windigos? Discord? Uh oh.
Marathon Madness story #9.
>>Here, take my
fleshblood.>>Guy takes it.
>>Guy ascends.
>>I'm better now.
Extra credit: all in super Tolkien situation.
I haven't seen this level of Ponyjesus in a while. :D