• Member Since 11th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Saturday

electreXcessive


I am an average everyday brony. I like to let my creative juices flow and create things. I'm always striving to improve, so I hope you enjoy my stories.


E
Source

I've always fancied myself as a bit of a storyteller. Anything can be considered a story with the proper execution and a bit of thought. Today though? I have a special story to tell you.

Author's Note: This is a prompt given to me by The Great and Powerful Regidar. Edited by my amazing friends CartsBeforeHorses, KillerSteel, and Dri. These guys are all pretty amazing authors too, so if you like this, be sure to check them out!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )
Comment posted by Mushious deleted Sep 9th, 2013

My chest, it hurts.

hdfjdufhnfjdffjdfjjkfjfjuidjfjfndnjfndjfnvzldfk !(crying from the feels!) :raritydespair:

Simply beautiful man. This is the kind of Spike story I've been waiting for.

:fluttercry::raritycry::raritydespair::pinkiesad2:
Absolutely wonderful. An amazingly well written heartfelt one-shot. Its bittersweet and triumphant all at the same time, this is such a hard concept to master and you did beautifully.

:fluttercry: (slowly clapping sincerely)

Well done. :ajsleepy:

no words. Just Feels all over the place :pinkiesad2::fluttercry::raritydespair::raritycry: This story is honestly the best one i have read ever. I swear my heart exploded twice :moustache: I cant even give you any sort of criticism :pinkiegasp: (although you wrote there instead of they're somewhere)

I congratulate you, this is a perfect story. :pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::rainbowkiss::yay::ajsmug::raritystarry:

Nice story. *insert emo whining about my problems here* And I'm glad I cut that shit out - ah to the Last Great Adventure. Don't rush to join the long parade but don't fear it either. It comes for us all.

i.imgur.com/SCelG.gif

I... I can't really say anything more than that.

This story was insightful, vivid, and very well written. I salute you on a soul enriching work of art.

And as a testament to all other who have commented before me...
THE FEELS!!! OW, THE FEELS!!!

I cannot find the anime FEELS gif I was looking for.

:fluttercry:

Critique-wise, this is a fairly solid little story, nothing to strongly contest.

It's clearly set in a non-alicorn-Twilight universe, so that's not an issue.

It does its job of tugging at the heart-strings without extraneous plot points and dead-end references.

Very simple, to-the-point.

This is one of the most beautiful (saddest) stories I've read. Thanks for doing this and wish you good luck with future ones.

A nice story. I enjoyed the humor and although it was obvious where it was going I still liked the ending. Not strong enough to make me feel but I still enjoyed this quite a bit.

I've read a few of your works and I look forward to more. :twilightsmile:

~Happy writing and all that~

3181033
Thank you very much for your support and the follow! I didn't really write this as much to make people feel sad and cry, as I did to show things through a different perspective. I haven't ever really seen a first person autobiographical story about Spike before.

Okay, so i'm the kind of person who doesn't openly cry because of some fanfic. But I must admit, after I read your story, I almost cried. And thats saying something. I loved the story; it clearly showed the relationship between Spike and the mane six.

I quite enjoyed that. Not bad at all!

This gets a like from me.

BR
BR #22 · Sep 9th, 2013 · · ·

FEELINGS

Dri

Not my favorite story in the world, but goddammit I cried! :)

Just, stop, ok? Stop writing feel fics that make me cry! :raritydespair:

3185471
I'm actually breaking from the sad for a bit and doing some normal slice of life. I figure I've destroyed enough feels for the week. :twilightsheepish:

Such is the tragedy of long life...

An excellently captured theme that basically runs circles around what I was attempting to suggest in my story "Twilight?"

Very good use of dialog to stimulate sadness and an excellent shift in tone. I'll be recommending this one to my friends.

Favorited and watched!

I SWEAR IF SOMEONE POSTS ANOTHER FEELS .GIF ON THIS STORY RATHER THAN GIVE IT ITS WELL DESERVED PRAISE AND/OR CRITICISM I AM GOING TO QUIT THIS WEBSITE GDI COMMUNITY GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF

Kalash93 here from Authors Helping Authors with a review for your story.

Grammatic: 8

Pros:
1. Very meditative.
2. It hit me square in the feels.
3. The narrator actually sounds like Spike.

Cons:
1. Needed to be more drawn out.
2. The story says nothing new.
3. What do you mean "Crystal Kingdom"?

Comments:
Well done. It's been a while since I read a good sadfic that was more than just needlessly depressing emotional porn. Let's get on with the review. This story was very meditative. I got sucked right into it. It reads like something written by a much older and wiser character reflecting back on things. Like most fics of this type, it hit me square in the feels. I won't say that it was super powerful, or even came close to that supremely excellent sadfic, "The Centerpiece of my Collection", but it is still a worthy offering. I like how the narrator actually sounds like Spike. The long retrospective of his life is the one element that really rams it home. We see character development over the course of the story. Now, I think that the story needed to be more drawn out. Of course, I get the feeling that this wasn't really a story designed to make people cry as it was to be a bittersweet reflection about life. I feel like three hundred more words of reflection around the ending would have very nicely padded it out, because the current ending feels abrupt and like it was written just to make the story less depressing, but that really diminished its impact. The story says nothing new. As competent as your story is, it's a retread of what's been done before. Maybe you could have tried to hearken back Pinkie Pie's words to introduce some sort of reincarnation element, or showed Spike being with another circle of six friends. Finally, you said "Crystal Kingdom". There is only a Crystal Empire. And now I'm just being a dick to round out the point count.

Your story is good. You win 7/10 flutteryays, which is noticeably better than average, but not great.
:yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::fluttershyouch::fluttershyouch::fluttershyouch:

Would you please review my story, Last One Standing? I hope you enjoyed your review.

Kalash93

The inherent repercussions of Spike's longevity are often touched upon by other writers. But none are quite like this. I particularly like the way you handle the death of Twilight. You give us some exposition to prepare us for it, but then it almost feels like you're taking a break from the sadness by having him fill out a simple request, reading a book from her youth, and then we have the emotional impact. It really made her death mean something, and I think that's what all the other fics are missing. Yes, other fics tell us that is sad to watch your friends die. But this fic makes us feel the sadness. I would give you more likes if I could.

I have just got tears eyed for the first time in 3 years

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy:raritycry:

My Little Dashie has been the first Fan-fiction that made me cry my heart out....Congrats to the creator of this story cause you're the second writer to made me cry my heart out. :pinkiesad2:

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