• Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 hours ago

Bad Horse


Sufficiently advanced friendship is indistinguishable from magic.

Comments ( 73 )

Vote this comment up if you think this story should be rated teen, or down if you think it should be rated mature. (It was approved as teen.)

Whole thing now. I mean, whole thing, NOW!!!

3273694 Well if you have the sex tag its kind of a rule that you also need the mature tag.

Professor Plum
Story Approver

3284128
Not necessarily. Unless it's graphic, you can have the sex tag and remain teen.

Okay, I'm gonna track this until it's marked complete. Because 1) 4000 words is one sitting, and 2) this is looking way too powerful to leave hanging, you know?

3284128 Teen + Sex is interpreted as PG-13, sir. Like primetime television that gets a little racy.

3284147>>3284142 I see what you mean, that's just usually not how i intemperate it.

3284172 Interpret all you want, then read the FAQ about how the tags are to be used posted by the site admin ;)

3284188 Already did. That comment was all speculation and i really didn't think it through.

3273694

I'm abstaining from the vote because . . . well, I don't know where you're going with this. If it doesn't get more graphic, teen's fine, IMHO. If you provide a graphic description of intercourse, I'd say you need the mature tag.

"Her soft mouth sends you to heaven" is probably okay for teen. "She dives on your cock like an angry badger" is probably best rated M. I can't believe I typed that.

3284249 There's more of the same type of description.

3284397 I'd say you're right on the line between the two. I would probably mark it mature to be safe (you don't really get into trouble for overmarking), although you might lose a few readers. I doubt many readers with 'view mature' turned off would really be interested though.

But for hard answers on tagging: ask an admin, and save the response.

BTW, you see where it says this story has 151 views? It had about 70 when I submitted it. The viewcounts are too high for stories that were created weeks before being submitted. I don't know if it's web robots crawling the site, or if it's counting every time I clicked on chapter 1 to edit it.

Based on this & similar counts on my previous stories before submitting them, it seems like stories accumulate 20 or 30 views a week from robots when no one is viewing them. So why doesn't every 1-year-old story have at least 1250 views?

3284397

If that's all, then I'd leave it teen. But that's just my opinion. Piers Anthony had more in his stories that were actually marketed to teens; so does Tamora Pierce.

On the other hand, if I'm not sure, I tend to rate a little high on most of my stuff, just to be safe. Don't wanna anger the guy with the banhammer.

Most of your stuff is well thought out, and I think most of your readers are accustomed to what you do . . . and trust you to not go too far. If I were you, I don't think I'd worry about offending potential readers with a mature tag . . . although, it's not really clear to me which tags make stories invisible if the 'view mature' box is unchecked, so maybe that is a problem.

TL:DR
You probably know what you're doing. Carry on.

SFluttershy + human + sex? Mighty courageous of you. :rainbowlaugh:

3284551 I don't claim to be an expert on the system at all, but I think the views are from you clicking on the chapters before you released it. Have you ever kept a story unpublished on the site and still gotten the inflated views without clicking on the chapters much?

- I don't care too much, but I'd say this is borderline Mature.

- I'd rather read it all at one shot, but posting it like this will probably keep me from reading it in the company break room at lunch.

The requests to take you to her world stop

Pronouns swapped?

3284899 I think so... but I can easily enough add an empty story & leave it sit for a few weeks to find out. (It would be odd if it was me, because I'm pretty sure fimfiction used to be designed to count each user only once for views.)

3284920 The requests to take you to her world stop
D'oh!

Just give us the whole thing.

is it wrong that I got a boner?

...

What did you do to Fluttershy? Because that opening doesn't look very optimistic. :raritydespair:

3283648>>3284142>>3284920 Okay, I'm posting the rest now. Yeah, it's too short to dribble out.

3284921
If you're looking for data, don't add an empty story without also adding and publishing a chapter. Views to the story splash page aren't counted for anything. For instance, Social Lubricant has been sitting there since last November and is still at zero views.

Edit: Link removed. And a big thank you to whoever was so principled in their efforts to improve the usefulness of the site's story rating system that they downvoted it before a single word was ever posted.

Very interesting... never seen a mlp fanfiction hit quite this tone before. But some of my favourite novels read like this one does.... definitely watching...

And now, having read the story … this is quite Bradburian (says the author who you compared to Bradbury, so I should know). Remarkably unsettling, in much the same way as the more visceral stories in The Illustrated Man.

What makes it so effectively creepy is that one hundred percent of its darkness comes from its characters getting exactly what they want.

Jesus, this is intense and riveting.
Although not in a sexual way, surprisingly.

3285984 Well thank you. :twilightsmile:

I'd have been okay reading it in small bits, but it will also be good to be able to read it all at once. It's not quite the same as with your Pony Tales – which I enjoyed very much – which even, if they leave you hanging in some sense, don't leave you expecting more to come.

I think this is the first time a ponyfic has actually creeped me out.

This is... extremely unsettling. Also extremely well written. It did indeed earn its dark tag. But... also one of those stories you look at and go "Nah, this ain't that MLP." This is something... else. Something I can't quite put a finger on.

But that might be my frothing-at-the-mouth bias against human in Equestria stories talking. :twilightblush:

I don't really have much to say here.

I may have to stare at the wall for a while after this.

3286732
Yeah, pretty much this.

A dark fiction without gore, and I'm still greatly unsettled. This was something new.

The relationship between the protagonist and Fluttershy rivals Edward's and Bella's in its unhealthiness. Lets face it: these two, are ill...mentally and emotionally. Masochism is something I'll never understand.

Favorited by the way.

One question though, if the protagonist has willingly deteriorated to the level of a feral, shit-throwing ape in Equestria, who is taking care of Flutters now that she's a farm animal on Earth?

3286732 My thoughts exactly, I felt the same mixed emotions as I did when I read The Martian Chronicles back in gradeschool. <whatthefuckamireading.jpeg> :derpyderp2:

Pretty much my eternal problem with your stories: They are perfectly written, but I can`t sympathize with your characters, which dulls any emotional impact they might have.

3284921 I did not receive a notification for this reply, sorry!

That might be a good way to figure out what exactly gives stories views. And though asking a mod or admin would probably be the fastest route, who doesn't love science?

However, I've just remembered that I do have a story sitting around here. It's unpublished (though, somehow someone actually found it and favorited it :derpyderp2: ) and has 59 views. The statistics only show me eleven hits over the course of August, and I put it there last November, so I think that would point towards web-crawlers or something similar. Also, I just clicked in and out of some chapters a few times and nothing happened to the count, so there's that.

One other possibility is the search feature on FiMFic letting people into unpublished stories (which is how my random viewer claims he got to it). But that begs to question why so many people would see unpublished stuff and not comment on it. Perhaps it is a combination of a faulty search function and web-ghosties using it. I do not claim to be an internet expert, so take these musings with a few metric tons of salt.

Now, since I have finished this story, I must join Blue Paladin in going to sit and ponder life while I stare at a wall. Or maybe a dark, dank corner. Something suitable to this atmosphere you've cooked up. This was quite a... something. Something I've not seen before. Good job, I think, and very interesting take on Fluttershy. As really weird as it all was, that doesn't seem totally out of left field for her.

Also, a little editing suggestion:

not letting on his time that you can talk.

You might consider, this* time. Though I'm sure we could think up a reason for why his time is being let on.

Sorry for the lengthy comment and all, but Yours in Internet Science,
~Fluttersyke

3293182 That's simple but very useful feedback - thanks!

I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling having read this, but I'm sure that I'm feeling it.

well...im not sure what im feeling like many of your readers have already said...i feel creeped out, disturbed, unsettled. im a bit sad but not very. this story was something else, very original. well done on this! your writing is excellent

what fluttershy wanted was pretty on character for her.

Like alot of the othere readers i dont k ow what im feeling. But from what I get fluttershy just wamted to get away from ponie society and the guy I have no I dea what he wanted but thats what I get from reading the story(simple.)

You know, Bad Horse, I'm kind of disappointed in you for having created a second-person story. As has been the case in recent months, I spent the entirety reading this and mentally swapping "You" for "He". All that in order to try and make a sympathizing connection with the character, but the mental gymnastics of trying to correct for what I've come to essentially deem a formatting error is rather disheartening when I see you making the mistake.

I'll tell you what I've told others when they've had a fantastic premise in the second-person: your story could have been immediately improved by changing things over to a third or first person perspective.

When using the second person, you are essentially sliding into a style where you tell. You tell the reader what they are feeling and doing about the circumstances of the story. That's even more egregious than telling me what a character is feeling, because then I still have the ever pleasant task of figuring out what I think of an emotionally complex situation.

Instead of thinking, "Gee, what sad, pathetic, broken individuals these two are," I'm thinking, "Gee, this author really smegged up in figuring out who I am and what I'd do in such a situation." In a way it's a bit like political propaganda: you're attempting to directly tell the reader the answer to the question "Who am I?" with a direct address rather than by presenting the actual characters in the story.

What all makes this even worse is that because of how proliferate you are as an author, I'm gravely concerned that other less experienced writers will come along, see this, and suddenly think its okay to use this writing style.

I feel like all of this should have been known to you before I came here, and the fact that I've felt compelled to bother writing this is an expression of how concerned I am for you.

For these reasons, this story is now going to be the third one I've downvoted on the site.

No disrespect, but I couldn't follow this at all. I guess this just isn't for me.

3491311 Looking back on it all--the benzadrine-fueled nights, the mix of peppermint and sulfur on her breath, the slowly-accumulating shells of dead cockroaches in the hall--you wondered when it had all gone wrong. And you remembered that day, long ago, that you down-voted a story because you didn't approve of the POV. If only you could take it back. But the glare in the red eyes of the hooded foreman's black horse tells you it is too late.

3685996 No, I'm going to hold you to high standard, and I've done more than most any by telling you why I disapprove of your formatting choice. An author as good as you should know better, so that mark of red is going to stay there, unless you mean to tell me that you've re-written the story.

Also, the thinly veiled insults are rather infantile, especially coming from you.

3686603 I didn't intend any insults. I was just trying to be funny. But I don't agree with downvoting a story because it's in second person, which is all your earlier explanation amounted to. I appreciate getting your feedback about why second person was ineffective for you, but ratings of individual stories aren't the right place for you to wage your war on second-person POV.

3686702 You're right, which is why I don't go after every second-person POV story, just the authors I've come to expect more from. I know you're a good writer, and I sincerely hope you never again waste your talent by making a second-person story.

wait , what the heck kind of fic is this?.....

I'm not gonna lie, Mr. Horse. When that feather came into play, I literally drooled a bucket. The way you painted that little bit of feather play was way more vivid than anything I've read before. Amazing you did with so few words, too.

Then again, I do have quite the imagination and a massive foot tickling fetish which I won't stop to take things out of context.

I don't know whether to be amused or not. I came to read something thought provoking, engaging, and well thought out. Something to make me think about the more meaningful things in life. All I have right now is an immense satisfaction and a perverse and creepy grin plastered on my face. Should I take it as coincidence you wrote about something so appealing?

I guess I should read the next chapters to see if there's anything profound and less sexualized. Judging by the beginning, there is. Knowing how you roll, I'll prolly be traumatized again.

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