• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 27th, 2018

Templar22


Thank you to all who serve, and all who have served.

T

Uhmm… so I just talk into this? Oh, ok. Well, I’m in a room with a few soldiers. They seem nice enough, and they want me to talk about my mother. They say she’s not my mother but I know that’s not true. I am eight years old and I am a changeling named Pet. But they say that’s also not true.
They want me to talk about growing up in the hive.

Editing done by phlamingsoul and Spacecommie
Coverart by Ayemel

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 256 )

That's... disturbing.
And intriguing.

3203412 And there shall be more... care to join us?

d'awwwww i loved it :3 :derpytongue2: here have a mustache :moustache:
i can hardly wait until the next chapter comes out :3

Hmm interesting, I hope it will be only better with time because its have big potential

3203480 What did you not like about? What do you think I could improve on? I must knooow!

3203495
Right now only problem is shortness of that, you told practically all her backstory in one chapter where you could make it much longer. Actually you can still make it. Gonna wait for more ;p

3203431 Don't forget to favorite!

3203518 There shall be more revealed, she didn't say everything, and don't forget to fav!:pinkiehappy:
(thanks a ton for the feedback!)

When i saw the title i just had to read it. I can't skip a story with a filly named Pet. I'm not evil.

Oh my Celestia. This Fic is so wonderful you get a follow

3203536>>3203565:yay: Thank you so much! I love that you loved it!

When I first read the summary I had my doubts. Far too many new authors start out with a darkfic and end up writing something that doesn't really belong anywhere. This is pretty nice though, I look forward to seeing where it goes:rainbowwild:.

Oh yea and I brought you some constructive comments as well :twilightsheepish:.

I liked how you used the spell that Chrysalis used to subdue shining armor with as a plot device. I also like how you went in depth when you explained the functions of the spell that a viewer might not have gleaned from the show. That is definitely going in my head canon.

Sergeant Silver Spears almost staggered out of the interviewing room, his normally impassable face stuck somewhere between shock and disgust.

Telling us that sergeant silver spear usually has a stoic demeanor doesn't really fit here in my opinion, it would work well if we already knew him as a character.

“Private Swift, a message to the princess! Tell her this filly’s had it in a bad way.”

Can you imagine the princess receiving a message stating: "the filly had it in a bad way, she needs a friend."
Maybe it would be better to say something along the lines of: "tell the princess that the foal we found with the changelings seems to still believe that..."

3203681
A few things first and foremost, My thanks.
Second, I didn't think anybody remembered Jeta or good old Balto!
Third, originally I wrote this just to experiment with those "feels" that I enjoyed reading so much, and to experiment with first person. (and then I got carried away) The fact that it's a small filly talking into a recorder made it near impossible to really introduce anypony in detail, as it all had to sound like something a scared 8 year old would say.
As for the somewhat cryptic message, in my head cannon the guard is pretty loose on such things. (though now that I think about it discipline would've stepped up after the wedding) I'm sure the private will think of something a tad more regal to say to the princess, though I could have been more clear on that.

3203707
You make an excellent counter comment sir:moustache:.
It wasn't that I wanted you to change it necessarily, its just that i felt it was out of place:rainbowderp:. I find that I often have a hard time telling when something seems wrong in my own stories so I make a habit of pointing out oddities like these when I notice them.

3203796 No worries, I'm sure if you found it odd, somebrony else will and I appreciate the fact that you pointed it out.

A good Start. I looking forward to more^^

3204149 Glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you find future chapters pleasing as well.

I love this story and am hoping for more. :derpytongue2:

3204291 Thank you! And don't forget to fave and rate!

I like this story, just wow. I really do want to read more. This story is very great. Please write more:pinkiehappy:!

3204433 Of course there shall be more my good sir.:moustache:
And you too have my thanks.

Hmmm...usually don't read sad or dark stories...I might read it later, since people seem to enjoy it

3204489 I would very much appreciate it.
....
It gets happier

3204510
if it gets happier, then why is it sad and dark? sad and dark stories usually don't get happier, they get sadder and darker...hence the tags

So case of filly raised from time of when she can remember by the 'bad guys', good guys come and beat bad guys, find filly, filly tells story and good guys think she has been brainwashed. Guards are such idiots... :facehoof:

3204515 Well what would you think if you found her?
And thank you for caring enough to say something. :pinkiehappy:

3204513 The night is always darkest before the dawn.

It'll get sadder long before things get better.

3204578 I am a person who actually takes things as they come, I only have been speechless... 5 times in my life if memory serves right, and I am 18 years old so, yeah. By the by, good story!!!! Love it, Chrysalis caring but at the same time not. Reminds me of somepony....
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-eVyxilUo6d0/UGD9OgDZraI/AAAAAAAAA3Y/g7pwdlnv-G0/s250-c-k-no/mad_little_pony___glados_by_bebopanimebabe-d3fhyk3.jpg

3204979 I know not who that is... from a story of yours I presume?

Also, this is going to sound like a stupid question, but could you elaborate on why you think the guards are "idiots"?

3205077 ....

its a glados

PLAY PORTAL

then you will get it

3205614 ooooooooooooooh, I know who glados is.... I just didn't recognize her in pony form...
...
this was a triumph....

3205645 my satisfaction... aperture science

3205661 except the ones who are dead

3205698 till you run out of cake

3205703 and the research is run

3205706

.... thats not in the song the line is supposed to be

And you make a neat gun

3205718 you lie...
listens to song with lyrics
:pinkiegasp:
BLAST!
...
For the people who are still alive

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