Ponyville talent show!
Do you have a talent your good at? Do you want to show off your skills? Do you like muffins? Well come and show them off at the Ponyville talent show! It happens Next Friday at 5PM, you can sign in at town hall! Hurry, applications end next Thursday.
By Dizty Doo
This poster was stuck to the wall of town hall, for all to see, and a pile of brochures next to the posters. Looking in awe of the poster, was baby dragon, purples scales, Green spikes and underbelly, carrying a scroll in his hand. His name was Spike, Twilight Sparkles number one assistant.
" I gotta tell Twilight!" Spike said as he grabbed a brochure and ran towards Golden Oaks Library.
Now, when Spike first arrived in Ponyville. Most didn't expect much of him. But as time went on they saw the dragon had strength and potential, and he was a very good, hard worker. He would always help them when they needed some help.
Spike rushed thought the busy Ponyville, waving to folks as they passed by and waved to him. He then arrived at Ponyville Library and busted in, he saw the mane six all sitting around a table drinking tea.
"Oh Spike, there you are!" Twilight said. The drake panted as he tried to talk.
"Twilight.'puff'. I. 'Puff'-"
"Oh, Spike. I need you to sort the books out. We did a bit of book hunting."
"And Spiky Wikey, could you go to the boutique and sort out the gems dear?" Rarity said, Twilight then levitated a quill, ink and paper.
"Yeah, can ya also pick up Scoots Scooter from the repair shop? And drop it off at there clubhouse." Dash said.
"And while ya there, can ya help Applebloom with little missy?" Applejack asked.
"Then can you pick up the cake Twins from Lyra and Bonbon? They were babysitting for me and the Cakes." Pinkie said.
"And, can you feed Angel...if you don't mind." Fluttershy said.
"Right, done. Here you go Spike!" Twilight said levitating to Spike, who had stopped panting and just had his law dropped.
"We're going to Canterlot for a while. Complete these in time and you can Join us there!" Twilight said as she and the mane six got up and left the building.
"Bye Spike!" Twilight said as the door closed. The drake just stared at the list with shrunken eyes. He stared at it until he finally sighed and looked at the mess of Books Twilight and the girls had made.
He slowly and carefully put the books away before sliding down the ladder and landing on the ground, he grabbed a nearby quill and ticked it off. He sighed before walking out the door and towards the boutique.
As he walked along, he noticed the mayor run up to him.
"Spike! I need help!" She said as she stopped.
"What is it?"
"I need you to send this message to Princess Celestia for me. It is an invite to judge in the talent show." Mayor Mare said.
"Of coarse." Spike said as he took the paper and burned it into smile, that floated away to Canterlot.
"Were you interested in joining?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Yes, I was actually!"
"Oh, well, when you get the reply. Some down to town hall and say 'Mayor Mare sent me'." She said.
"Okay."
"Thank you Spike, your a lifesaver." Mayor Mare said. Right before rushing back off into town square. Spike then continued his trek for the boutique.
As he arrived, he walked in to see a huge chests of gems, he drooled at the thought of there taste. He shook it off and started to sort them out, as he did. He noticed Sweetie Belle walk up next to him.
"Hey Spike!" She said.
"Hey Sweetie Belle."
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Your sister asked me to sort these gems out." He said, putting them into piles.
"Can I help?" She asked.
"Sure." He said as the two started to sort them out, they were halfway there when Sweetie Belle asked a question.
"Hey, what do you know about Featherwieght?"
" I don't know. I don't really know any other kids my age. Except for you, Scootaloo and Applebloom."
"Oh, ok." She said as she look disappointed, but wiped it off as the two finished.
"Well that was tiring." Sweetie Belle said.
"Yeah." Spike said, right as he belched up a reply.
"It must be a message for Mayor Mare." He said.
"I gotta go Sweetie Belle. Thanks for helping." Spike said as he opened the door.
"Bye Spike! Thanks for the company!" She said as Spike left. He walked through town until he reached town hall. He walked int brought and not the receptionist offices.
"You have an appointment?" The receptionist asked.
"Mayor Mare sent me." He said, the receptionist nodded and pointed to the door, which lead to a hall with two double doors at the end. Spike knocked and then walked through, seeing Mayor Mare at her desk.
"Ah, Spike. Did you get the reply?" She asked.
"Yep. Here you go." Spike said handing her the message, she opened it and read it over, a smile growing on her face.
"It looks like the Princess has agreed to judge at the talent show." She said with a smile, she then put It away and pulled out a form.
"So you want to join in the talent show?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Yes." Spike said.
"Well, just fill up this form and your ready to go!" She said handing him a quill as well. He began to write and fill the blanks and boxes before giving it back to her.
"Alright, see you on Friday." Mayor Mare said, Spike nodded before walking out.
As he entered the repair store, he was greeted by a stallion.
"Hello, what can I get for you?"
"I'm here to pick up a scooter." Spike replied.
"Is it blue with red handlebars?"
"Yep." Spike said, the stallion went into the back and brought back the scooter. Spike took it, but then saw a skateboard.
"How much is that for?" Spike asked.
"About seventy-five bits." The stallion said, Spike just sighed and carried the scooter on his shoulders. And walked out the door.
He headed over to Sweet Apple Acres, he walked throughout he gate and ran into Big Macintosh. He was carrying a cart full of Apples to take to the apple stand.
"Hey Big Mac." Spike said.
"Howdy Spike. Watcha doin' here?" He asked.
"I have to deliver Scootaloo's scooter to the clubhouse and then help Applebloom with little missy." Spike said.
"Ya wanted to help us out on the farm?" Big Mc asked.
"No. Although I don't mind the farm, your sister and her friends all gave me chores while there up in Canterlot." Spike said.
"Oh, well good luck with little missy. It's difficult to get her clean." Big Mac said. Spike just nodded.
"Yeah, see ya Big Mac." Spike said as he waved to him and walked through the fields. He then reached the clubhouse and put the scooter against the tree. He then walked away to the barn to see a giant pig with a bow covered in mud. Next to it was Applebloom holding a brush.
"Howdy Spike!" Applebloom waved.
"Hey Applebloom, I'm here to help." Spike said.
"Great! Cleaning her up is harder then getting Scootaloo to stop talking about Rainbkw Dash." Applebloom said with a giggle. Spike also chuckled.
"Alright, lets get this done." Spike said.
(One minute later.)
She had been entirely clean as Spike was covered in mud. Applebloom giggling at Spike's appearence.
"Yeah, yeah. Ha ha." Spike said as he ticked off the three chores he had just completed.
"Do ya think you can help us with the apple cart today?" Applebloom asked.
"Sorry, your sister and her friends all want me to finish this list." He said.
"Oh, well thanks for helping me anyway Spike." Applebloom said giving him a hug, he slowly returned the hug until they broke apart.
"Bye Applebloom." Spike said, noticing her cheeks slightly grow rosy. But then walked off back into Ponyville.
Spike then walked up to Lyra and Bonbon's house and knocked on the door. Lyra then answered.
"Hey Spike." She said.
"Hey, I'm here to pick up the twins."
"But, shouldn't Pinkie Pie be doing that?"
"She's in Canterlot with the rest of the girls." Spike said.
"So your here to pick them up? Aren't you the same age as those fillies? The Cutie Mark Crusaders." Lyra said.
"Yeah, but I'm Twilight's number one assistant. It's my job." Spike said, Lyra then nodded and looked behind her.
"Bonbon, Spike's here to pick up the twins." Lyra said.
"Shouldn't Pinkie Pie come and get them?"
"She's in Canterlot."
Bonbon then and through with a pram with two sleeping toddlers.
"Here you go." Bonbon said as Spike barely reached the handle bars.
"Alright, bye!" Spike said as he started to walk away with the twins. He made it all the way to Sugarcube corner. When he knocked on the door, Mrs.Cake answered the door.
"Oh hello Spike. Thank you for bringing the twins back." Mrs.Cake said taking the foals out and putting them onto her back.
"Your welcome Mrs.Cake.what should I do with this?" Spike said.
"Oh, just push that behind the counter, I'll take care of it deary." She said, and Spike did just that.
"Again, thank you dear." Mrs.Cake said.
"No problem. Bye." Spike said walking out of Sugarcube corner and towards Fluttershy's home.
As he walked through the door and saw angel taping his foot on a table.
"What do you want?" Spike asked, Angel open his mouth and pointed inside his mouth, then pointed to a picture of a ridiculous dish. Spike just walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bunch of carrots. He chucked them at Angels feet.
"You can have those or starve." Spike said as he walked out, he ducked as a carrot flied overhead. He smiled in satisfaction as he ran back to the library.
As he burst through, he quickly grabbed the flier he had and was about to head out but he saw the girls were back.
"Oh hi Spike. We just got back. Good job, although you placed 'starswill the bearded spells Volume IV' with III." Twilight said.
"Anyway, can you clean up the mess we made this morning?" Twilight asked, without letting Spike talk. She then noticed the paper in his hand.
"What's this?" She asked as she grabbed it with her magic, Spike tried to stop her but she read it all before sighing.
"I'm sorry Spike, but you can't join. I need someone to watch the library while we join Princess Celestia there." Spike's jaw dropped.
"Well, were going to head to Sugarcube corner. Bye Spike." Twilight said as the girls left. Spike walked to the door and reached out to them. He slowly lowered his arm and fell to his knee's, with tears in his ears.
"Why?.."
He yelled into the sky.
"Why!?"
He then started to cry and sob. As he did, Applebloom and Big Mac who was still carrying the cart to the apple stand, Applebloom looked up at Big Mac. He nodded and pushed her into Spike's direction as she ran up to Spike and started to hug him. He hugged back as his tears fell down her shoulders.
Big Mac continued his way to the apple stand, where he dropped the cart and started to go around Ponyville. Spike needed help. And he would get it.
This is why we need a club that show the ultimate appreciation of Spike.
3436627 so far their 5 groups dedicated to Spike on this sight
Okay, interesting premise. But there are a few issues. First off you seem to have a habit of starting a new paragraph for the same person to talk again.
The Wrong Way:
"It must be a message for Mayor Mare." He said.
"I gotta go Sweetie Belle. Thanks for helping." Spike said as he opened the door.
The Right Way:
"It must be a message for Mayor Mare." He said. He then turned around and waved to the filly. "I gotta go Sweetie Belle. Thanks for helping." Spike said as he opened the door.
Also you need to re read your sentences, several times I saw you using the wrong word:
Twilight said levitating to Spike, who had stopped panting and just had his law dropped.
What do you mean by law?
"Of coarse." I think you mean course.
Anyway good start, but you should re read things or find a proof reader.
Okay, there is no way they got her clean that fast. Maybe half an hour, one hour, or even two, but definitely not one minute.
Not bad but it could use a lot of revision. I see major promise in this, mind if I try my hoof at a rewrite?
This sounds like a very good story. However, you really need a proofreader. There are a lot of grammatical mistakes. However, I will still read on!
Twi should get slapped for what she is doing to Spike. Also I'm Surprised Applejack and Fluttershy even asked him for help. Not how they would normally act.
Why would the library need watching when everypony will be at the talent show and nopony visits the library anyway? Owlicious can look after himself and it's unlikely to burn down unless Sweetie Belle was there.
I like this so far, you have a like and a moustache from me.
3891761
Exactly , there is a hole in her logic.
After reading this. This would be the part were Spike just say fuck it and left. I want to see what happen next now.
What?
urge to go hunting for mane 6 rising
3798370 proof readers read and give tips editors *COUGH**COUGH* edit the story.
4064362 Pram is British for stroller.
This looks interesting so far definitely on my to read list. Though I did find a few spelling errors.
I think you mean Come.
Rainbow.
Other then that. A good chapter. I will read more when it is not 130am
This is the life isn't it?
I like the premise but I feel it's a tad exaggerated to get the point across. I know Spike is often portrayed as a butt-monkey within the show but you're purposefully portraying the six as completely oblivious and insensitive just to point out how they can be sometimes. Basically too OOC.
Also:
your = your
you're = you are
How is it that 70% of writers don't know the difference.
It's refreshing to have a Spike fic every once on a while where he is just a responsible kid instead of an Adult trapped in a kids body. You have my interest and my sassy black attitude on your side.
Good job so far, and I'm looking forward to reading more. As some others have pointed out, you're making some fairly common mistakes and mixing up some words. Don't let it get you down, though. Listening to advice and learning from it is how we improve. Anyway, here's a quick list of some things that seem to be giving you trouble. Hopefully it will be somewhat useful as you continue to write:
Then: This shows a sequence of events. “I went to the store, then I went home.”
Than: This shows a comparison. “I would rather eat pizza than broccoli.”
Your: This is the possessive form of “you”. It means ownership. “Your car is awesome!”
You're: This is the shortened form of “you are.” The apostrophe shows that some letters have been taken out. “You're a real smart kid.”
Whenever someone names or addresses the person they're talking to, they should put commas before and after the name or title they use, unless it's at the beginning or the end of the sentence, in which case just use one comma after or before, respectively. “Spike, what are you doing?” “I'm going now, doctor.” “Hey, Bro, what's up?”
When you're showing a person's name/title, use apostrophes, and usually the letter “s” to show possession. “He put the food at Angel's feet.”
(raise hand) Question, why didn't Spike confront twilight about going to the talent show? Spike should have debated with twilight about going or not.Especially since in this story spike works as much as applejack does on the farm.I mean it not like he's fluttershy from season 1.
6540231
technically he wanted to dicuss it but the girls didnt let him talk, like at all
7314262 Your right but at least flutters would have listen to Spike. When depending upon if it's season 6 Fluttershy she might have been able to talk on Spike's behalf.But if it season flutters well he would have a better chance doing it himself.
"with tears in his ears."
Sooooo... Dragons cry through their ears?
9045888
Well duh
Not for me I’m sorry