Rainbow Dash’s father recounts the night he discovered his daughter’s biggest and most embarrassing secret and how it strengthened their bond.
Story image courtesy of TheDarkestDayDream on deviantART.
(Used with permission)
Chapters (1)
Ianpiersonjdavis
Joined 30th Dec, 2012 ·
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Quite a well written story of Rainbow Dash and her father. Excellence story by the way.
First, you got some technical problems, but nothing too serious that cannot be fixed quickly:
The sentence is cut...
Extra word...
I thought they were called legs, or hooves...
Um, I think the word "I" is the one you're looking for...
----
And second, and more importantly, your story... Which was awesome.
I really liked your story, and many of the details you can find on it. You captured the feelings of a nostalgic yet hopeful father in a very good, realistic way, most of the writers go directly to the drama and the sadness, but on here you really did a good job on making the character feel real and not just sappy. Also, about the "situation" that Rainbow has (that I won't mention here to don't spoil people), I really wasn't expecting it, so I guess that's very good because you can surprise readers. Overall, it was very well written.
So, to wrap this little comment up, I loved your story, nuff said.
Don't stop writing!
3164579
Thanks for the helpful comment.
But, the arm thing was intentional as not everyone knows what forelegs are and in the show and comics they are mostly used as arms when holding or grabbing things as well as the fact that they bend the same way.
Everything else, I shall try to fix though!
3164595
Arms huh?... Oki doky then!
Unleash the D'awwws!
D'AWWWWWW
Aw, this made me cry. It's so sweet!
3164655
Tears of joy, I hope?
3164822
That and cuteness. As well as a little sadness for her when she's all sad; I've felt like that before, though about something about as far as you can get from that. xD
Filly Dash has got to be the cutest little bundle of fluff that I've ever seen. There are far too few "Rainbow and Dad" stories out there. Great job with this!
Oh man, I was really close to crying for a second there. This reminded me so much of my father and I. Well done.
Got a nigga shedding tears over here.
The world would be a better place if more parents were like Dash dad.
Awesome story man, I love how firefly is rainbows mum
Between 'don't' and 'you', there should be want; least, I imagine there was supposed to be.
A nice, cute, and short story that really tells us a lot.
How very sweet,
Enjoyed the story, I'm glad Dashie has the kind of dad willing to accept her for who she is,
Aaaawwwwwww :3
Why all those -'s?
(I can't remember what they are called)
Example: until she’d met me (whatever she saw in me-I’ll never know.)
Awesome story :D You deserve my like.
Goddamn adorable. Filly Dash is best Dash
i.imgur.com/yRf9bsI.jpg
cute
The D'aww flu strikes again!
But this time....
It's the D'aww plague.
I think this was
awesome, there was this one ...
You might want to use some more punctuation,
and you used - : these quite a lot, but I think . would have worked better 
The plot is really good, I think it's great that you used events from the show to tie it all together 
this is not something that I would normally read, but that might just change after reading this 
3179788
Okay, I'll try fixing it-thanks!
Sweet little story, I liked it.
I was disappointed by the lack of Pinkie, so unless you have plans to continue the story, submitting it to the RainbowPie group seems like a bit of a stretch.
3180431
I wanted to leave it up to the readers imagination who the mare (or Griffon) Rainbow would be introducing to her father could be-and I considered Pinkie as one of the possibilities, which was my reasoning for submitting it to the group.
Loved this... can't believe I actually cried... I never cry. Damn you feels cannons, you got me again.
Also... Firefly is an epic win in my opinion, excellent work there.
One thing I gotta ask, you're leaving the marefriend open to audience interpretation, and as such we're gonna choose whoever best suits our personal preference for RD, (you don't even have to ask mine, it's right here in my sn o.O) so Fluttershy the instant choice, but if it's put up in various groups it succeeds in your goal of audience interpretation.
Also, I was thinking... why not do a sequel in a sort of choose your own adventure thing? Like write one sequel, and have each chapter to it be the same, but changing some characters and scenarios each time? Not that I''m demanding or anything, I just think it'd be pretty awesome to see that kind of thing, I sadly do not see many for the MLP fandom
Why was this added to the Twidash group?
This was good, though who the hell is the mare?
Heh, sometimes a simple and sweet story like this is just what I need.
3181070
I wanted to leave it up to the readers imagination who the mare (or Griffon) Rainbow would be introducing to her father could be-and I considered Twilight as one of the possibilities, which was my reasoning for submitting it to the group.
However, it was removed as bats has clarified that it's not what the group is looking for.
3184125
It's not trash. It's just . . . well, kinda boring, to be honest. The premise has been done many times before, and you haven't really brought anything particularly new or interesting to the table. The way you present everything is also pretty bland. I'm just not getting a real emotional punch here.
Again, it's not trash; it just needs refinement.
That was gorgeous!
A really nice, sweet little slice out of a beautiful relationship, and well-kept in character. Made me feel really nice! You shouldn't degrade yourself by saying you have no talent- You have a lot of talent. You also have a good space for improvement, and that will come with time and experience and positive feedback, so don't give up on your motivation to write, you're on track to writing great things! The biggest improvement to be made is simple; just small grammar mistakes that can nag at a reader and distract from the story, and are easily fixed with a read-over. If you ever want any help, I'm happy to lend a hand in editing
MOAR OR SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!! plz?
i don't know who the fuck this echriedz is or what exactly he's bitching about but Listen, there are going to be people who love it and people who don't. every creator has to deal with that shit. so fuck what they say, if their going to tell you it sucks, then tell em to fuck off. if they don't have anything constructive to say then they are just some douche, and let me tell you, you don't suck.
Hmm, it seems as though you aren't going to continue this story. I was looking forward to seeing who it was that Dash was bringing home to her dad, but it seems that you are purposefully leaving it open to the imagination of the readers... I like that. And man, don't listen to 3181449 at all.
~SolidFire
3278961
I'm not (it's just that my emotional impairment causes the effects of trolling to make me blow things out of proportion.)
But well...
Well I'm trying to remove it from most of the shipping groups as I've been told by multiple people that the open-ending isn't reason enough to have them in there.
I have also requested to have it removed from 'Writing Gold' as it was added to that group without my permission, plus upon review the story itself barely passes for even being decent.
(Whoever added it to the group must have EXTREMELY low standards to add on of my stories to it-(the grammar issues I keep having are proof of that).
3279105
Well, I believe that mikemeirs contacted you, so we should be able to help out with the grammar issues. And the shipping group mishaps isn't too big of a deal. Mix-ups happen. It's nothing to get angry with you about.
~SolidFire
A beautiful short read
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12591647/images/1288222378543.jpg
Added to the group.
Tears were shed :')
Thumbs up
This is the sweetest 'coming out' story I've ever read. As Jasmine below noted, tears were shed. Many, many tears.
I wish my coming out was like this, and that I could have included my father. I wish all coming out stories were as simple, just an admission and a reassurance of acceptance. Shit is too complicated IRL, but this story made me feel fuzzy again. Thank you.
Also, gushing aside... your em-dashes are nicely placed, but poorly formatted. They should not look like this-since they will resemble en-dash (hyphenation). They should look like this -- that way they will form a natural break in the sentence without having to start a new sentence.
Example:
I tried to drink the liquor -- all seven shots of it -- but Fluttershy wouldn't let me.
vs.
I tried to drink the liquor-all seven shots of it-but Fluttershy wouldn't let me.
wtf is liquor-all and it-but? I'm sure I'd remember, if only Fluttershy had stopped me that one time...
Thanks again for a great story!
3589963
Thanks for the tip, I will try to work on that in the future.
3636611
In the interest of making sure you don't use your em dashes improperly, I will divulge the proper way to use them.
Firstly, an em dash is commonly resembled by two hyphens, but it actually looks like this: —
Note that it is elongated and has no break in it. Most word processing programs, such as Microsoft Word and OpenOffice, will automatically convert a properly placed double hyphen into an em dash.
So, why do em dashes not convert so much of the time? Well, as evidenced in 3589963's post, em dash usage still hasn't been grasped by the mainstream (no offense, most writers and editors make this mistake).
Em dashes, for whatever reason, are quite the unique piece of punctuation. You actually take away the spaces that would separate an em dash from other words. So, let's take the example given.
Wrong: "I tried to drink the liquor -- all seven shots of it -- but Fluttershy wouldn't let me."
Right: "I tried to drink the liquor--all seven shots of it--but Fluttershy wouldn't let me."
It's as simple as that. If you're using a decent word processor, those double hyphens will convert to em dashes, so it will look like this:
"I tried to drink the liquor—all seven shots of it—but Fluttershy wouldn't let me."
If you're not using an auto-converting word processor, a quick google search of "em dash" will find you the proper symbol and you can just copy-paste it wherever it's needed.
Completely utilizing proper punctuation is a pretty miraculous thing, but every step toward that utopian ideal of a perfectly written story can now be recognized by you in the form of the em dash.
3813779
I fully endorse this style. It is the traditional typography used for printed material.
But for electronic composition, not putting spaces around an em-dash can make lines break oddly. Also, if you use a plain-text editor (like gedit or notepad) like me, the double-en (--) is a common replacement for the em-dash.
Of course, as with all punctuation, it's a bit more complicated than that...
See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Em_dash#Em_dash
... I have a headache.
tl;dr Listen to Scootareader. My last example was an improvement, but not nearly as prevalent.
This was very heartwarming! I thought a few scenes and some of the dialogue could have been expanded on a little, but overall I quite enjoyed this. These type of stories are just irresistible.