• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Iridescence T Wind


T

What defines a monster? Being different then others? No, everypony is different in their own way, So is it an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening? No, instead, a monster is a thing you don't understand. The lack of understanding causes fear, and with fear, hate is born. Thus my garden, my forest. For they have forgotten the 'monster' that still takes care of his forest. My forest, the Everfree forest.

Though in all my years I have never seen what lies before me. A bug? a pony? perhaps both. Maybe time will tell.

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 112 )

Will watch! Should be fun!

Wow... So his starting motive was just to do something to releave bordom?

3224776 A lot of great adventures were started by the same thought process.

3224776 What else is there to do when you've done just about everything that can be done in a forest within a very very long expanse of time? :pinkiecrazy:

Good start, with a sprinkling of grammar problems.

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If you wouldn't mind telling me and Eli, we would be obliged because we gave it a quick glance for Irid before she posted this.
Yeah, we pretty much got the ones that were glaring out in our faces, but even then we aren't the best pre-readers.
~Sylpheed and Eli

3229083 I'm not Sniper but I figured I might be able to help. I'm sorry if you may feel I'm being a bit nit-picky; I usually try to avoid Grammar Nazi mode. Make sure to watch for punctuation corrections (the blue punctuations can be easily missed)

paragraph 1: 2nd and 3rd sentences should be joined

paragraph 2: the POV keeps changing from 1st person to 3rd person

paragraph 5: "Maybe another trip to the hut that had been claimed by a zebra mare; not an interaction in mind, but rather to watch her navigate..." replace what was there with the blue and take out the comma after "creatures" later in the sentence

paragraph 6: "Despite the trip he showed no signs of exertion, for the forest provided it's own energy to it's caretaker."
"As he watched He raised an eyebrow as the distant city's shield broke and fire's as well as large downward flares of green energy began to descend upon the once protected stonework." remove the red

paragraph 7: "Luna was drugged, and asleep in her quarters, and best of all. The unicorn who had been keeping the shield up, ..."

paragraph 8: "the group of colorful ponies, grinning triumphantly..."

paragraph 11: "...warriors were invading the town. They had waited months..."
"An entire town would feed their energy beyond anything in comparison, and once Canterlot fell, then it would be the rest of this cursed nation's turn."

paragraph 12: "...Cadence, the pony she had oh so recently put up as idle sentiment, moved to nuzzle..."

paragraph 14: "...were about to capture the remaining townsfolk as well as the guards. She had little to fear; princess Luna..."
"However, she regretted turning her back as a bright light began to silhouette..."
"...before the massive wave of the most ironic type of energy rammed her full in the face. Love.

paragraph 15:"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Her scream resounded throughout the town as it impacted with every single changeling in canterlot."
"...it had been so perfect yet they failed none the less. Now they had a new problem: the rapidly growing forest."

paragraph 16: "With an urge she and several of her higher ranked officers collected the remains of their energy, as they each formed a magical spearhead in front of them..."
"...expended a bit too much in their eagerness to capture their long awaited prize, and now, that eagerness would prove their downfall. Now, most of her forces' shields were weaker than standard, and this impact would deal far greater damage than the standard shield could withstand."

paragraph 17: "...as the explosion rocked the city. It was spectacular to say the least, though it seemed to do no damage to anything at all, nor did it look particularly original considering it was..."

paragraph 18: "Magic coated flank met his face as an explosion of green caused a large crater both through him and into the environment." No problems; just hilarious
"He pitied the few that landed in the thorn brambles of the inner parameter of his forest, as those unlucky few were caught and shredded as they were rammed into the tight ropes of thorny vines." ouch
"As his body reformed out of a nearby tree, oak this time, he winced as several trees had been..."
"He gazed down into the crater of the thing that had hit him, and he looked over it." This part was prose rather than grammar; you don't want to repeat the same word too many times in a sentence.

paragraph 19: "'Just what are you?'" I wasn't sure if this was a question or an unfinished sentence.

paragraph 19: "Leaving the caretaker's curiosity renewed, now that he knew it was sentient."

I love this fic so far. I must admit that it took me a while to actually get to reading this but I'm very glad that I have.

3338131 -whistles- that's a lot of errors I need to fix. Thanks for pointing them out! Probably within the next few days the next chapter will be out and regain it's momentum. :pinkiesmile:

3339071
I feel as though we accomplished nothing with our editing.
Hey I...you're actually right. I don't even see how we were valid choices for editing this in the first place.
Yeahhhhh, neither do I.

3343325 Hey you guys helped too, without you two I'd probably still be making walls of text instead of neater smaller paragraphs. :twilightsmile:

I like this so I will give a like and watch this maybe soon give a fave as well.

I can't wait for more. I keep forgetting how good this story is with all the stories that I read between updates. I'm liking the quick insight into the Caretaker's mind at the beginning of the chapter.:rainbowdetermined2:

Interesting. I wouldn't have thought that Granny Smith would take ALL of the zap apples from the forest. It makes sense that the Caretaker would want them back.

3374239 I find it funny how nopony questions the name, he only gave a title afterall. Simply call him the Caretaker for now hehe.

As for the matter of the Zap apples, I glad you caught what I did there, though you have to admit it would make sense to get as much of something new to bring back as possible. You don't leave an apple unpicked after all, and the apple family seems to just want to prove it over and over again whenever they kick a tree.:ajsmug: Though any fan of the show can tell what happened after she got those apples! Hello Ponyville!

And then Fluttershy was tree, the end

3544845
BUT THEN WHO WAS FLUTTERSHY!?
kill me now...

Oh, I should have seen Chrysalis' plotting coming. *facehoof* So did the caretaker used to have a thing with Luna?

val

really love the story and I hope to see more of it later

I love this story. So calm, and analytical. I'm looking forward to seeing which way kidnapping Twilight will go wrong.

Okay i'm going to be the asshole right now so bear with me the dictionary describes the term monster as a creature of a frightning apperance so all of your descriptons in the summary are technaccly wrong :pinkiehappy:

Achievement Unlocked!
[Plot-Splat!]: Don't dodge Chrysalis' body (5 Forest Points)

Achievement Unlocked
[By Royal Decree]: Persuade Chrysalis into agreeing to the deal (8 Forest Points)
[Add 1 to the Population]: Become a Citizen in the Caretaker's Forest (5 Love Points)

Achievement Unlocked
[It's Part of the Package]: Enter and exit Sweet Apple Acres undetected (10 Love Points)
[Take Only What You Need]: Reclaim the Apples for the Caretaker (7 Love Points)

Achievement Unlocked
[Sleight of Hoof]: Capture and Replace Twilight Sparkle without incident (20 Love Points)

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While Im working on the next chapter, I cant believe I didn't see these. I really should check my notifications more often! :pinkiecrazy:

Interesting story! I hope the Caretaker isn't evil though :moustache:

Nice to see a new chapter.

More, soon, right?

No, instead, a monster is a thing you don't understand.

I would staunchly debate that.

I think we understood the likes of Hitler, Stalin, Chairman Mao, General Pinochet, and quite a few other historical 'monsters' very well indeed.

In my eyes, a monster makes itself by its actions.

Peace is to be free. Freedom, is the sad equivalent of anarchy to a government system. So to answer the question. Equestria hasn't been at peace since those sisters took the throne.

This thing clearly possesses the rational capacity of the typical postal worker shooting at people from bell tower...

If the Caretaker is this old, how does it not know about Discord, who kinda sorta RULED THE ENTIRE WORLD for a while?

Science in contrast can be seen as the manipulation of other objects you yourself do not have control over.

As a scientist, my reaction to this is, "Da fuq are you talking about?"

This story is losing me fast with its rather feeble pseudointellectualism.

"The Doom Weaver, Sun Raiser, Moonbane, Take your pick." The caretaker snorted, "The subject is about you, not that... For lack of a better term...Murderer."
"You mean Princess Celestia, raiser of the sun and paragon of good to the ponies, correct?" Chrysalis remarked.
"Is that what shes called now? Seems someone erased history....Again."

Oh god, not the Celestia-hating crap again. :facehoof:

If I may speak to the dead wood who goes by the name Caretaker, buddy, how do you expect your forest to survive WITHOUT THE SUN?

The stupid burns.

But with Twilight out of the picture, the other element bearers would be harmless. Their Elements little better than fancy necklaces without the sixth to fill the role of leader.

And here Chrysalis doesn't seem to recall that the Elements weren't even what defeated her.

The Moonslayer, or Celestia as you call her.

Uhm... Luna's alive. And back. Seriously, she was even IN THE FOREST during Luna Eclipsed. For that matter, Discord was around during "Return of Harmony"... How does this thing not know any of this?

"Nay. What I desire for you is to, when both your people, and my seeds are ready, spread a new species of tree seed around the four corners of equestria, down every major road, into every forest, and through every town and district. Something that I'd estimate would take about six months with twenty of your changelings, and use of the local transportation."

Oh no... I'm getting one of those dreadful "The Happening" flashbacks again.

But really, Treebeard the Ent would punch this Caretaker in the face. He'd call him a Black Huorn, rotted to the core with wickedness and malice and thirsting for revenge upon all who go on two legs... or four in this case.

4844973 HE lives in the heart of the forest, those episodes occured on the very edges of the forests.

4845048 Uhm, HE saw the Changelings being tossed from Canterlot. If he just plot-conveniently saw something that happened far away on the mountainside, it's very hard for me to believe he noticed NOTHING from any other episodes.

Particularly NMM's return, which took place INSIDE THE EVERFREE FOREST when she fought the Mane 6, and Discord's release... during which time day and night were swapping haphazardly every few minutes and large chunks of land were floating about.

Seriously, my willing suspension of disbelief can only ignore so many continuity gut-checks.

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