From One World to the Next
"Are you sure this is a good idea? This could frighten the people or make them very scared to see us," a certain yellow mare asked.
"Of course this is a good idea! I already sent a special message to Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna about our coming. They had told me in a written letter of the horror stories about fighting and wars and that perhaps we could be the answer to their problems. I have been wanting to meet the human version of myself for the longest time and from what it sounds like, Twilight Sparkle had a wonderful adventure in the alternative world! Don't worry, I had Discord help me cast the mightiest spell on us so that we would stay true to our pony form when venturing through this magical mirror. Are you ready, girls?"
Each pony looked at each other with uncertainty written across their faces and then looked back to the Princess.
"I guess so," Rainbow Dash said. "I always love a good adventure, but this is just weird!"
"Hold on tightly, Spike," Twilight instructed. We're going to be in for another ride!"
Princess Celestia watched as the main group of ponies walked through the portal themselves.
Within a few moments of twirling around in this colorful vortex, the ponies emerged from the statue that was in front of the High School. They were shocked to see that the entire school was standing before them.
Everypony and everyone else screamed in shock.
When everything calmed down, the humans began to interact with the ponies.
Spike leaned over and whispered in Rarity's ear, "Is that the human version of you, Rarity?"
Rarity looked at the human version of herself and facehoofed. "That can't be the human version of me. She should be wearing more makeup and be dressed in some kind of elegant gown, but I do suppose that is me judging from the cutie mark on her VERY short skirt."
Spike came up to the human version of Rarity and gawked at her. "Hi, I'm Spike," he said.
The human version of Rarity leapt back and said, "I don't know what kind of animal you are, but if you haven't had your rabies shot, then do not come any closer."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Spike said. "I won't touch, I just want to look."
Spike had been here before in the form of a dog, but being here in dragon form was quite different and he became curious.
"What the heck do you keep under that thing you wear around your body?" he asked.
Spike came closer and peaked under her dress and saw her panties.
"Eeeeeek!" the human version of Rarity shrieked. "What a dirty pervert. Get back! Get back you vile little beast!"
The pony version of Rarity used her magic, and levitated Spike back to her side.
"I'm awfully sorry about that, dear," the white unicorn said. "He has this romantic thing for me and I'm sure he was just curious about you. I'll keep a good watch on him."
Princess Celestia was talking to her human self.
"So who raises the sun in your world every morning?" Celestia asked.
"I beg your pardon?" Human Celestia asked.
"Who raises the sun? You know, that bright star that we see every morning. It's my job to raise the sun in my world."
"No one raises the sun in our world," human Celestia replied. "Are you God or something. There is no God in our world. Science has come a long way and the best possible theory we that we have lies in our faith of Evolution."
Did human Celestia just call her God?
The Princess straightend up and said, "Well I do suppose I might as well be God in my world. I have the power to take away life by refusing to raise the sun. I have also seen generations upon generations of ponies being born and dying."
"So are you God of our world too?" Human Celestia asked.
Celestia used her magic and levitated her human self into the air.
Human Celestia was panicking. "Put me down! Put me down! This is totally freaking me out!"
Celestia gently put her down, and human Celestia bowed low before her. "You are worthy of being called our God and we will worship you sincerely. What would please you, master? Shall I sacrifice one of my virgin's who attends my school here?"
Celestia's eyes widened. "Yes! I mean wait, NO! Absolutely not! I am just a Princess here, not God! I have just come to visit and to see this place for myself."
Human Celestia picked herself up off of the ground and calmed down. "But do you come to bring peace? Our world is ravaged with wars and hate, and cute and colorful ponies may be the answer to our sick and sad world. Do you have any wars where you are from?"
Celestia let out a nervous little laugh and said, "Well I don't think you can consider this a war, but there was a time when buffalos and ponies were fighting in the wild west over land. The ponies used apple pies as their ammunition. I suppose we can try to attempt to change your troubled world."
"Fascinating," human Celestia said. "Maybe you can rule this world too!"
"If it includes spreading the magic of love and tolerance, then I would...." Celestia was cut off by her human form.
"Why tolerance?" Human Celestia asked.
"What do you mean by that?" the white alicorn asked.
"Why not just love? Why do you tack on tolerance to love? Shouldn't it just be love alone? That's so awkward to say loving someone and then tolerating them. Tolerating is like sitting next to someone on the bus that you hate but holding your anger back and not punching them in the face because you are tolerating them. Love is like reaching out and hugging that same person. This is almost like a contradiction."
Princess Celestia did not have an answer to that, but together, they kept talking about their two different worlds.
The ponies stayed with the humans throughout the day talking, and having fun while learning about each other.
The human versions of the ponies were busy playing with their pony selves, but they were quickly pushed aside when the teenage boys shoved through and began to touch the little ponies. Many of them had their cameras out and were capturing video footage or taking snap shots.
"Dude! Check out that mark on her ass," one of the male students said. "What the heck is that thing?"
"It's just my cutie mark," Rainbow Dash replied. "It represents who I am and what my ultimate destiny in life is."
"Totally awesome, brah!" one of the male student's friends said. "Let's touch it."
"Uh," Rainbow Dash said. "That's kind of weird and..." before she could finish her sentence, many hands were on top of her body feeling her soft warm coat and touching her cutie mark.
"So are you like the lesbian pony because you're all rainbow colored and shit?" one of the male students asked.
"Uh, no," Rainbow replied. "Princess Celestia is all rainbow colored with her mane and tail, yet no one is saying anything like that about her."
"I knew it! She's gay," the student said. "We should get you all to have some kind of giant lesbian orgy with all the other ponies."
"That's really repulsive and that's not happening," Rainbow said.
"Dude, let me get a picture of that flank!" one of the male students said as he took out his mobile phone and began snapping pictures of her. He came a little closer and lifted up her tail and snapped a picture of underneath her tail.
Rainbow turned around and sunk her teeth into his hand.
The student dropped his phone and cried out, "What the heck did you do that for?"
"I don't know what the hay that thing is, but it reminds me of an updated camera that we use in Ponyville. What a dirty pervert you guys are taking snap shots of my parts like that!"
"I was just being scientific!" the male student lied. "I just wanted to see your reproductive organ so that I could perhaps....uh, study science."
"There's no need for that!" Rainbow Dash cried out. "You're just saying that as an excuse for your perversion! I'm out of here! See ya!" Rainbow Dash sped away from the "scientific boys" with her tail tucked in-between her back legs.
Rainbow Dash zipped past her friends and ran towards the portal. There were tears in her eyes and she was very sad and angry at the same time. She felt violated and she found humans repulsive.
Everyone and everypony watched her disappear through the portal.
Princess Celestia walked over and asked, "Was there a problem, gentlemen?"
"I don't know what happened," one of the boys said. "I was just talking to her and she flipped out. You might want to punish her or something. We did nothing wrong."
Princess Celestia sighed and spoke up loud enough for them all to hear. "Well, I guess it's time to go, I'd better find out what Rainbow Dash is so upset about. Take care everypony....Oops! I mean every human!"
It was difficult for the humans to let go of the ponies, but they did when Principal Celestia demanded them to.
As the ponies and Spike waved goodbye and turned their flanks to them, they were all disturbed by the flashing of camera lights as they walked away.
Princess Celestia could not understand why they weren't taking pictures of them when they waved goodbye, but all of the sudden when their faces were not showing, it seemed desirable to take a picture with their back sides turned to them. It was all so very odd to her and she could not understand. Perhaps she would figure this all out later. She had promised that she would keep in touch with Principal Celestia every day through the use of her magic. Princess Celestia put a magical spell on the portal so that it could not be destroyed before she walked through it.
When the ponies vanished through the portal, they all began to scroll through each other's photos on their cell phones.
"Dude, these pictures are hot! I got a super close up picture of Rainbow Dash's vagina and anus. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" a male student said to his friend next to him.
"Rule thirty four time on the internet?" his friend asked.
"Bingo!" his friend said as he winked at him. I'm going to masturbate to these pictures as soon as I get home. Fuck looking at pornographic pictures of girls, ponies are where it's at. Hey! We should come up with a special name for fapping to ponies. How about..." the male student began to giggle as an idea came into his mind. "How about we call it clopping?!"
"That sounds awesome!" his friend said.
Somewhere in the crowd a student began to yell.
"Rainbow Dash is best pony and is way cooler than all the other ones!" one of the boys bragged.
"Nuh-uh!" another boy said, "Fluttershy is best pony because she's the cutest and sweetest!"
"Hey man, fuck you! Rainbow Dash is best pony and don't you dare say otherwise."
The boy who was defending Fluttershy became enraged and came over to the loud mouthed kid. He sunk his fist in his face and said, "I said Fluttershy is best pony! Fuck you!"
The two boys began throwing their fists at each other.
The human version of Fluttershy began to cry and hid behind her friend's backs. They soon ran away to get away from the hate and violence that was happening, all because they saw colorful ponies.
Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna hurried over and broke up the fight.
"Stop! Stop!" Principal Celestia cried. "These ponies are here to help fix our broken and corrupt world! Why are you all fighting?"
"Because this scum bag said that Rainbow Dash is the best pony when clearly, she's not!"
"That's ridiculous!" Principal Celestia said. "There is no need to fight over them. Go get your cuts fixed up now."
The two boys ended up in the nurses office for minor wounds and bloody noses. The rest of the students were back inside. Most of them were already in the library and had their phones connected to the computers. They were uploading all of the images that they took, most of them of their private areas and making the pictures enlarged before they uploaded them.
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Good Story, it dose not need all these down votes just because others disagree I am a Christian and I am glad that you spread Gods teaching through this fandom, do not let others stop you.
I didn't downvote this because it's about Christianity. I downvoted it because it's a terrible story.
3190240 Thank you so much. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the read. I will do my best to continue to write more.
Wat
The message is good. The story behind the message was... well, alright. Interesting. Not a fave, but a like.
From one brother to another, I'm praying for your strength in these times of increasing opposition.
The downvotes are because of Christians?
...
I GOTTA READ THIS XD it looks really interesting anyway. I'll like it before I even read it lol. And considering one of the rating tags, there might even be some action with Celestia's massive flank. ;) lol.
Hey, anyone remember that one story by a Christian brony about a ship sinking or whatever?
I hope this gets a similar response
3190265
I'm with you on this one. I couldn't get over the initial scene. Principal Celestia was what really got me. It was as if she was some robotic sheep.
Sorry Brian, not getting a like on this one, no matter how much I wish I could give it.
3190627 Thank you for the prayers. I'll admit, this story was by far the most difficult story for me to write about. I had a lot of trouble writing this story. Writing stories can be hard for me because I have many learning disabilities including A.D.D. and Autistic Spectrum Disorder.
3190265 I have never down voted anyone else's works even if I didn't like reading it. If I say any kind of criticism to actually help them improve upon their story, then I always make sure to say something very nice or encouraging to that person as well. Saying someone's story sucks or is terrible is not kind nor Brony like because it does nothing to encourage the author and some people do work hard on their stories. Many of my more popular stories that have little to nothing to do with God are rated as my best even if I feel that they aren't nearly as good as my more obvious Christian stories, so yes, there are many people who strictly down vote stories just because the stories are Christian. Most of my voters make that quite clear to me in my other stories.
3190865 That's ok. I don't need your likes. I wanted Principal Celestia to be drone like. She's a Principal, she has seen so much. It's hard to impress her. She seemed drone like to me in the movie. Princess Celestia can also be quite drone like as well so it makes sense to me why I made her like that.
3190983
I'm not you. If I don't like story, I downvote it. Tough.
Did I say there weren't? No, I said I wasn't one of them.
Anyway, the dialogue is stilted and awkward, the characters act unrealistic and in some cases utterly ridiculous, and the message of the story overshadows everything with its blatant obviousness.
It feels like I'm reading a Jack Chick tract. Seriously, I'm half expecting your next story to have the Mane 6 start committing ritualistic murders and sacrifices after playing Dungeons & Dragons, or Rainbow Dash explaining to Scootaloo why gays go to Hell.
3191168 That's funny you mention that. I actually played Dungeons and Dragons a few times with a Minister and it was quite an enjoyable experience.
I love the story but I have a question: I feel bad about people telling you about stopping you from writing Christian fictions. As much as I am a Christian myself, doesn't it ever occur to you that ponies only believe in Celestia? I mean, I don't even think there is a God in Equestria. All I know is that some mystical alicorns rule the universe... well at least from people's headcanons. Sorry of I troubled you buy asking that question.
3193573 I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thank you for reading. It's unknown in the official show which is one of the reasons why I created this in hopes to make a story out of it and give an explanation as to how Celestia and Luna came into existence. There are so many questions one could ask about the show. We do know that they existed for at least over a thousand years because of the whole moon banishment incident and that Luna is younger than Celestia. I don't even recall an explanation about Discord's origins. I'm almost positive that I heard Lauren Faust say that Celestia and Luna were supposed to be the only two alicorns in the show as well as other little ideas that she had, but many of Lauren's ideas did not make it because she is not working on the show anymore which saddens me a bit.
While you have a right to a degree of bitterness if what you say about your treatment is true, that doesn't alter the fact that your story is rather mean-spirited and knowing why that is the case doesn't make it better. Plus, the evangelising about god was out of character, a tad inexplicable and rather heavy handed.
The best way to work Christian evangelising into an MLP fic, IMHO, would be to have Celestia presented as an Aslan equivalent in a HiE.
I hope you don't take this wrong, but, WHAT'S WITH THE FOUR-LETTER-WORDS!?!
3195744 To make the story seem more realistic. Remember, I was inspired to write this story because of the things I see in the fandom and that includes those four letter words that you are referring to.
Yay! So glad to see a writer so proud of his faith! I probably won't do stories like this, but thanks for this one! I didn't really like the pacing of this story, but I'll like it anyway. See you in heaven someday!
3200196 You're welcome and thanks for the kind words.
oh gosh, I was eating when I started reading this... got to the part where the guys were perving on RD and I had to stop...
Maybe after my meal and a good rest after work than I'll continue, too many R34 pictures are flowing through my mind to concentrate on eating and reading at the same time...
3230559 Yeah, you might not want to do that. Some other gross stuff happens later on too.
The rating should have been clear that this involved sexual themes and gore. I wasn't fooling around as to why I added those two warnings to the teen rating. Come back and try again when you're done eating. I don't want you to get sick while reading this. 
3195984 I know that why it was put there, doesn't mean it was right for you to write it.
YOu couldhave just said "he cursed" or soething.
Plus, how accurate is it when they say "heck" instead of the H-word? If they say the f-bomb, they say the h-word and Gd's name in vain.
Not that I hate your story even though you wrote some mucho innaproppriate stuff in there. In fact, it needs a little more work, and I agree that Celestia should be used as a Aslan figure, but still an interesting use of her.
But I probably shouldn't have down voted it maybe I should up vote it for the good stuff.. I needs some work with the writing, I didn't like the bad stuff, and the stroy is great, but the sotry could be edited slightly.
BTW, is it okay if I write a formal review to this story, I really mostly liked it.
3231319 Sure, I understand if some things in there can be very upsetting. I don't know if I will go back and edit or add anything else to this story though. I'm pretty happy with what I have. What I wrote in there has purpose. Remember, I'm not supporting the "bad" stuff in the story just because I'm writing about it. I'm clearly speaking out against it. It's kind of hard to write about the bad stuff without saying much about it, especially when it's such a major problem in the story. There are lots of bad things that happens in the Bible too. I'm pretty sure that if the Bible were ever published on this site, that it would be rated mature for sexual themes and violence. Instead of getting so bent out of shape about the sins written in this story, focus on the ending of this story. It's about redemption and the power of Christ's forgiveness. That is the most important part of this whole story and it should not be overlooked.
tap... tap... tap...
this... needs... More... APPLEJACK!!!
Heheh, seriously though... initially I thought I was going to hate... okay maybe not hate, but really, really, really, really dislike this story of yours when I first started reading. Admittedly, I made up my mind at the beginning not to thumbs it up. But near the end I began to see the reason for you writing it. Alright, just like the blacknerd that got me into this whole MLP mess; I'm going to review it his style: I'm gonna give ya the bad, I'm gonna give you the good... and I'm gonna give ya the neeeeerdy...
First the bad:
I felt the intro, and subsequently the entire fic was very rushed, the scene at the beginning where the ponies entered the human world and they first interacted was quite messy. The way humans degenerated into perverseness was too fast to seem realistic. The part where Celestia suddenly wanted to be a god over the human world can be described as rushed as well, it would've been better to analyze how she descended into that mental state where she would even torture Fluttershy through killing her animals! And this is glancing over the fact her second contact with people ended with murder! Nukes would've been dropped on her royal flank the moment the world governments knew about that. And though this is mainly a Celestia focused fic, it would have been better to see more reactions from the mane six and her own sister, Luna, both in the human world and Equestria. As this level of obsession would warrant a more personal and heartfelt response, especially when both worlds have been thrown into chaos. And Discord? Way too fast, just Boom! And that's it, an anti-climax if ever there was one... I'm being a bit harsh because I saw great potential in the story, and that's just me with stories and movies, if the whole thing was meant to be silly from the start, I'm fine with it having a silly ending. (the Pinkie Amplified kind of silly, NOT the Badminton fiction, I still have nightmares of poor Apple Bloom... >.<) But this fic could've been so much more, well, at least in my mind... but I'm sure this is one story that would benefit from having multiple chapters and more love and care placed into it...
Now the good:
I like how you tied in EQG with the fic and getting the 'humans' curious about the pony world. After a scene like that ending in EQG, heck I'm surprised half the school didn't freak out! But nooooooo the weirdest part of the whole thing was a talking dog! ugh... anyway, the idea I liked because I personally thought of it before, was the two sisters being placed in Equestria by the 'Creator' and were given the task of rising the sun and moon respectively. If given more thought and written with more care, I believe that it could have a great storyline about the perfectly created sisters before the coming of Discord and the fall of ponykind, and the eventual evils allowed to prosper in Equestria such as Chrysalis and King Sombra. And dear Twilight, I like how you portray her here as the level headed student who cares for her princess, because I get a vibe from most of your fics that she tends to be a bit overly judgmental and pushy with her opinions. With a bit more touch up on her parts, and she would be the perfect teacher's pet we all know and love. 
And of course, the part where you portray Jesus as the ever loving Savior was a nice touch, having the fiery blue glow amidst the smoke and radiant light shining brightly gives an image of a powerful entity that resembles the way our Lord will return in the second coming, not a weak human being (as being portrayed by most artists) but as a conquering king.
When I realized where you were going with the storyline I went 'yes!' in my head because I have thought of this idea before (no thanks to some inspiration from your side) but I guess you beat me to it.
And now for the Neeeeeeeeeerdy:
The Princess took out the special chest that held the elements of harmony. She opened it up and placed each element on the proper pony.
Last I checked on Keep Calm and Flutter On, Princess Celestia left the Elements of Harmony with Twilight for safekeeping for exactly these kinds of emergencies!
I was thinking, the way these ponies are portrayed to have intelligence and powers far above normal animals, can't they be regarded as some kind of angel/seraph/cherubim? Most of the time when such creatures are mentioned in the Bible, despite a few having completely human looks, their appearances are usually a mixture of man and beast or just beasts. So... following the idea of this story, can Equestria and it's ponies just be another form of angelic beings with their own personal 'Garden of Eden'? Just speculating and fantasizing here... I'm very tempted to plagiarize your story and re-write it, than I will be famous on FimFIction, forever! Muahahahah... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Alright, time for me to go work on my own fic, it's been a week and I haven't even gotten pass page one on my new chapter...
So I'll see ya next time, love ya like a play-cousin, I'm outie 5-thouzand! Ching-Chomp... YOMP!!!
3232497 Look at the fandom and tell me how fast the fandom degenerated with perversions and strife. I can only imagine how much faster it would happen if the ponies were actual in the flesh creatures and met with the fandom.
I would also imagine that problems would arise quickly when one believes that they are god when they are not and have the powers to do all sorts of things. She sees these things that disgusts her and wants to take action immediately. She thought she had the right to punish them for their sins. She was playing god after all. Problems would arise very quickly.
Discord was made to be a surprise because Celestia couldn't remember because of her amnesia, remember?
Everyone thought he was good and was working on their side now. He is a deceiver, a backstabber, and a liar, and he fits the character of Satan very well.
Having more of the main six would have been interesting. I agree, but again, I wanted to keep this short and be as Celestia focused as I could.
Pinkie Pie Gets Amplified! is by far one of the most funniest fics I have written as well as a few others. I do like to write comedy quite a bit, even if it ends in insanity.
Thanks for the review and for taking time to read this. Best wishes on your new upcoming fic!
3232902
Oh it's easy to go nuts and pervasive when you know it's just a show and they can't zap you back with magic... plus the fact you can hide behind a computer screen and a fake name. But in real life, people aren't so open with their dirty secrets or hobbies. Not everyone goes around yelling "I'm A Clopper!" (granted there are exceptions) and most are embarrassed on the inside about their sin. Now in front of real life creatures who can talk back at you, and have emotions and can judge you for your actions... think about actual girls, most people would not openly sexually harass girls because they would get into deep trouble, and they themselves would become social rejects.
If anything, if someone is stupid enough to attempt some sexual disruption, the rest of the kids (and adults) would outwardly chastise them and even the ones who have dirty thoughts would side with them as they would not want to be thought of as weird and disgusting. And as human beings we will naturally be cautious when first encountering something new and strange.
About Discord, what I meant was the way he was turned to stone was too fast... kinda hoping for a showdown. ^_^
Oh my fic is still the same old one, just adding a new chapter. But still, you have my thanks. :D
3233211 That's a good point, but there are many cases where that's not true. Some of the pony groups and pages I have seen on F.B. are clop related and it was pretty alarming how many likes or members it had. I would imagine that people join them under their real F.B. names without any shame.
I have seen people post clop stuff like fics, or borderline, or implied clop pictures where the rules say "NO R-34" on F.B. groups and pages as well and no one seemed to care or actually liked it. I have seen so many people type out that they love clopping and are seriously proud of it under their real names. This is very common.
Even though you look at what is the current number one rated group here as well as the groups that follow closely behind it, you are correct. Most people don't use their real names here, but I'm sure if someone REALLY wants to find out who you are on the internet, then they have ways to find out no matter how much you try to hide your identity.
I'm sure if the clop craze is this extreme in the fandom, then I'm pretty sure that there are many people who would be very open about it even if they met real life creatures like this. Much of this fandom doesn't even surprise me anymore when it comes to this because I have seen so much of what people post in the non-clop groups on F.B. and they think it's so awesome and cool to share stuff like that under their real names.
I also know Christians who have struggled or are struggling with porn/clop in some of the groups that I'm in, but they come asking for prayers to help kick the habit and I'm more than willing to pray for them or to take the time to have a conversation with them if they may ask me to.
Anyway, I hope you're able to finish your fic soon and I hope to read it too! I still have yet to finish Duskfall! I have been so busy with writing more stories and I want to continue my (SiC) series.
3233722
than I shall patiently await more from you!
(heheh... I haven't finished Duskfall neither... one hoof at a time I guess...)
3233722
I know this may derail the comment section a bit, but why is sexual perversion the only thing worth focusing on here? Going off of what Jesus says in the Bible, the big offensive thing could be greed, narcissism, inequality, pride or divorce. Unless the point is that Celestia's obsessive moral crusade against the perversion is a terrible world-destroying thing and we should all stop before we, too, risk destroying the world.
I'm a little confused about the moral with Discord; is it that if someone seems to reform, we should go ahead and kill them anyway just to be sure? I mean, it doesn't even seem like Discord did anything this time around. If I forgive somebody and then ask them to help me do something that eventually goes wrong due to my actions, do I really have a moral claim that they harmed me and thus require re-imprisonment?
While I'm not against the concept of this story, it practically begs to be fleshed out. The rise, fall, and redemption of Celestia: God of Two Worlds befits a sprawling epic. Especially if we are also going to be exploring the appropriate application of Christian values and the nature of God in parallel universes at the same time.
I would like to ask a question, too: What should Celestia have done instead upon discovering this other world?
3245980 It's not. Did you miss the arguments, the fighting, the wars, the hate?
Was Discord truly fully reformed? Watch the very ending of the episode Keep calm and Flutter on and look at everypony's faces when Fluttershy says that he's a real sweetheart once you get to know him. Like I said in the story, his name is Discord and he represents Satan in this story. The Bible says that Satan will not repent. Did you remember why the Elements of Harmony was created in this story? Do you remember what the prophet from God said in this story? Do you remember what Discord said, before he was turned back into stone?
There, Discord was in his luxurious room that he had the Princess build for him. "Well, well, well," he said. "It looks like you have finally come to your senses. I know you came here to turn me back to stone. It's too bad you know that you'll miss the powers that I have given you and the fun we've had together. I know that I will break free in the future because ponies will turn to hate and bitterness and I will be free to roam again!"
Even the word Discord appears in the Bible...
"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."
To answer your question....she should have listened to God.
3247054
I guess I'm more worried about where this rhetoric has led to in the past. "Is X really reformed?" has led to some real horrors from the Jews of Europe to those who have Bourgeoisie relatives in Communist countries. The constant demand for - and rejection of - "proof" of redemption goes to terrible places. And I'm not saying he did anything wrong; he simply didn't do anything wrong this time. They had already forgiven him his past misdeeds. Compared to Celestia - who slaughtered people and almost casually embarked upon xenocide in your story - he's a relative saint.
As a literary criticism, If you are going to have him play the role of the devil, though, he ought to point this out to her while playing upon the other ponies. "Was it I, Fluttershy, who slew your friends? Was it I, Twilight, who sought to destroy the Bible? Why then must I pay the price while a murderess walks free? Does not your scripture have a verse in which a crowd chooses one criminal to spare while another is condemned? But fine, wash your hands of me if you must..." Taking down the Devil - if only temporarily - ought to be a major confrontation.
3248813 The reason why he went down so fast was because I wanted to make it crystal clear that the Devil is powerless compared to God and Satan does not stand a chance against Him. Satan is big and terrifying to us, but when God is with us, he has no chance. That's the reason why that confrontation went by so fast.
Great story, could have been written better and could have mentioned sodom just cuz hey they did tons of sins. Anywhore WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL, NO ONE IS PURE. MARTYRS FOR MY LITTLE ONES!!!!! DIE WITH ME!!!!!!! -krieg
The devil isn't evil, just misunderstood. He wanted to be better then god but god wants to be the only one can't blame lucifer for wanting power it's a corporation. Well that's just me, cuz god annihilated the world like twice. Plus god made us have different languages if you remember in the Tower of Babel. Hey did you know that the Greek and roman religion connects with Christianity. I very much like theology it's a fun subject.
This was a good story. You answered my questions in the comments; the clop focus, the anti-climactic confrontation with Discord. At first I wondered why the humans rushed to Rule 34 the ponies. Then I thought back to how a lot of anime or video games get R34'd almost immediately. Your story brings that into focus. You also gave me some ideas for fitting Jesus into Equestria. Keep writing these stories and stay encouraged. We may be seeing the next CS Lewis someday.
3330104 D'awww. Thank you very much!
Expect a new (SiC) story out very soon!