Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for.
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It doesn't take an extraordinary pony to be a hero, they only need to be extraordinary to somepony.
Rainbow Dash learns a valuable lesson about what it means to idolize ponies, and an even more important lesson about what it means to earn it.
Pre-reading by FloydienSlip.
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Now this is a story with a lotta heart...
...
Mostly because it tore mine clean out.
Brilliant work though.
This was brilliant! An uncommon spin on the Wonderbolts and the parallels between them and Rainbow Dash were believably sobering once she realized. In the end, she truly cared about being that hero for Scoots, which is the Dash I always see. Awesome first fic.
Rainbow Dash was portrayed as an epic bitch from start to end in this story.
First, she's really nasty to Scootaloo. Scootaloo is someone she hangs out with frequently and is close with the younger sisters of her group of friends. So there's no reason for her to look at her like she's just a fan, and even if it was reasonable to see her as just a fan, it's pretty sick to string her along all day like that.
The Wonderbolts, on the other hand, had a job to do. They don't know Rainbow Dash personally, they don't hang out with the same friends, and it's pretty sick to expect somepony you just met to instantly become friends with you. It was completely and perfectly reasonable for the Wonderbolts to treat their job like it's just a job. But Rainbow Dash reads them the riot act for not being all super friendly? What kind of a self-entitled prat is like that?
And then, in the end, she forces herself to be extra nice to Scootaloo out of guilt, even though she clearly wants to be doing other things? Talk about stringing the kid along. The entire time, she should have simply told Scootaloo the truth. She's not interested in being friends with her.
This was uncomfortable to read.
3150487
Well, that's certainly an interpretation, though personally, I don't think you could have missed the point any harder.
Back to the story; the biggest flaw of canon Rainbow Dash has got to be her immaturity. She's flippant about serious things, doesn't take her responsibilities seriously, is lazy when she has things to do, etc. We've all been there, and likely are still there, because maturity is a process, not an end goal.
I thought you did a brilliant job portraying that, and especially how it feels to get your own actions turned around on you. Being able to take on the task of being a role model, and especially a worthy one, is a serious step in maturing into an adult. Like it or not, almost without exception, SOMEone will hold you up as a role model, even if it's ever only one person. You may not want the attention, you may not think there's anything in you worth looking up to, but the choice is always yours whether or not you'll be the kind of person who deserves it.
It's these kind of honest, mature character stories that really get me, and give me hope for the fandom. Congrats on your first fic making the box, because you absolutely deserve it.
3150487
It's almost impressive to see so many downvotes on this website. I feel as though a part of me already hates you. Please make this part wrong soon.
this is....amazing
i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr157/antpogo/pony/12207720-20animated20applause20citi.gif
I think you went a bit heavy on the Wonderbolt : Rainbow Dash similarity to Rainbow Dash : Scootaloo. It was a good idea to have the idea of them dismissing her like how she did to Scootaloo. However the part that lost me was when she tried to do the same things. Having her give the Wonderbolts a tour of the Weather Factory? Going to see a movie? I have never read a story or seen anything from the show that would lead Rainbow Dash to do these kinds of things with the Wonderbolts.
3152556
I was waiting for the Wonderbolts to finally explain to Dash how selfish she was being, but it never came. Even after Dash made her self-centered tirade, when they had their perfect opportunity, they didn't say anything.
They could have explained that, Dash, I know you know us well. I know that in your mind, we've been friends all your life. When you idolize somepony, and see them all the time, and hear their voice and read their words, it can seem in your mind like you truly know them, but we don't actually know you.
What's the chances that, if you were dropped in front of some random pony, that they would become instant friends with you? What's the chance that they'd even be anything more than civil?
How do you think that pony would feel if you started demanding that they visit your favorite attractions and play their favorite games, and treating them like some sort of fascinating amusement device. Would that make them more or less likely to want to be your friend?
And how do you think that pony would feel, if that happened to them all the time? If you were the hundredth or the thousandth pony to do that to them? I think they'd feel like a piece of meat. I think they'd feel tired of other ponies acting like they're some kind of public property who is obligated to always be 'on', amusing everypony, all the time.
It hurts, Dash, and sometimes we lash out. It can be too overwhelming, sometimes, but I think we've had an incredible amount of patience tonight. We would never have done this for just anypony. And yet here you are, screaming at us because we didn't give you enough. You've confirmed our worst feelings about our fans, Dash.
3154073 True, but we really don't know how well connected the Wonderbolts are to their fans. Alot of people tend to forget how much of an impact they have on others. Everyone has been a fan at some point and once you become the idol, you have the advantage to look at matters from both sides.
3154129
I agree, the concept of what it means to be a celebrity has lots of richness to explore, I just felt this story was very one-sided in that exploration.
3153561
I agree, it wasn't necessary for Dash to want to do the exact same ping pong/ice cream/etc as Scootaloo.
The story didn't seem to respect the reader enough to draw parallels between the two fan/flyer relationships on their own. It hammered that point home a little hard, and in the process it made Rainbow Dash's lack of self-awareness to seem cartoonishly overblown.
I'm.... I dunno. Cool story, bro?
*begins humming "Everyone's a Hero In Their Own Way" from "Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog"* Even that guy who smells like poo.
I must say, I'm in agreement with those who feel the story had a very heavy-handed moral.
Even the show tends to avoid that.
Except for things like "Mare-Do-Well" and "Spike At Your Service" and... huh. Those weren't well-received episodes. Fancy that.
3154976 Well, I for one think this was a great fic. :) Morals have to come in heavy-handed at times, or else they don't stick.
"There's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die."
People we build up as heroes may let us down in the end.
But if you meet one that goes out of their way not to let you down?
Well that's not a hero my friends. That's a legend.
Rainbow Dash is a legend.
She's not just any legend though. She's Scootaloo's legend.
I like from a conceptual standpoint how you portrayed the Wonderbolts here--it's a wonderful subversion of their typical fandom personalities and symbolically they serve as a great cautionary tale for Rainbow Dash in her relationship with Scootaloo. They say that one should never meet their heroes, and this fic is a good testament to that age-old sentiment. Good job!
3153561>>3154181>>3154976 I was going to say Dash was unusually infantile here, but I think that's already been covered. I will note her crying in particular felt OOC to me. We've seen her cry twice in series, I think? Neither were involving the 'Bolts. I liked it well enough besides. I really felt for Scootaloo. I think you could have made her and Dash's interactions at the end more prominent. It would have had more of a happy impact in its message to reduce the ham-fisted aspect.
Also, Alondro, you missed Feeling Pinkie Keen. Possibly the worst episode of the series for mostly that reason.
Even though you played madman with the history (unless you are subscribing to the theory that this show has a skewed timeline and with Equestria Girls...I am starting to think so) This was an ecellent story with a good reversal of the Wonderbolts' personalties. It also has a good way to set up Spitfire and the others possible lightening up!
3156238
Thinking back on this tale, I actually realize that there's this really delicious irony. There's a part where dash feels like she's not even being treated like a pony. She's just a 'fan'.
Which is interesting, because she doesn't treat the Wonderbolts like ponies. She treats them like wonderbolts. Never once does she ask 'What do you think would be fun?' or 'Tell me more about yourself outside of your job', or express any interest in them at all as individuals.
3156306 at the same time, she's not the one to initiate that. What others have failed to see here is that Dash was being placed into the slot of 'fan' before she had even stepped out of the theatre. They kept referring to her as kid, cracked jokes at her expense and blatantly cut over her speech at several moments. She was already being sidelined and typecast from the word go. Even if she did think of them as idols, they broke that bridge before Dash was given the chance to meet them as people. I can't believe I'm defending Rainbow Dash. Must be something in my drinking water.
3156328
My previous mock-speech from the Wonderbolts chastising Dash for her selfishness, summed up my thoughts on why, even if they did just pigeonhole her as a 'fan', then it's still not something that they would be unreasonable to do.
I think it can be said that they were both treating each other as non-ponies. The fan-celebrity relationship is actually a great example of twisted expectations and over-inflated senses of entitlement. It would be really interesting to see a narrative explore all sides.
Maybe I'll write a story.
Well written, if a little heavy-handed.
It's clearly emotionally charged, but if you take the feels away it's about average, or above average quality.
The best analogy I can think of, somewhat appropriately, is a cupcake with too much frosting.It's great, but the whole thing can topple if you don't eat it the right way, and you feel a little sick afterwards.
Not bad, but not great.
The duplication of fan activities was probably the worst bit. A full day with the Wonderbolts, completely up to Dash once she dropped the photographer, and she never once thinks "The Wonderbolts? Time for a race!" or even "Let's go flying!"? It'd be a better story if Dash wasn't so out of character.
3155246 You sir have just said the most beautiful thing I have ever read, who are you so I may give my D'aaws.
3157107 I am just a humble purveyor of fantasy and also one who dabbles in poetry. I am a mystery.
I am an enigma. 
I am.............. The Walrus..............Coo coo ca choo. 
3156238 The only reason I liked "Feeling Pinkie Keen" was that Twilight had heavy things dropped on her head and in general was driven out of her mind to the point where she almost went Super Saiyajin with rage.
It was like a classic Warner Bros beating of Wile E. Coyote mixed with Animaniacs.
But yes, it did stand out as quite different tonally from the other episodes. It was one of those that made me feel the meta-story and world-building needed more centralization and homogeneity, lest certain characters' 'eccentricities' get too far out of hoof.
3156238 Ah, the word I've been trying to think of for what is missing here is 'poignancy'.
The emotions are all laid out on the surface, seen primarily by physical actions rather than genuine empathetic moments, rather than being folded and saturated through the narrative depictions.
3163145 I found it hard to laugh at a mentally ill person with a double leg break being hit by the contents of a shipping truck, sadly. It also turned Twilight from her own three dimensional character into a strawman who didn't know beans about science for the episode's highly offensive message about the role of the scientific method. Faust herself says she wished she could have redone that one. I hated that episode. Hate, hate, hated it. Hated every simpering, audience-insulting minute of it.
3163164 I agree entirely on this criticism too.
3163870 >>>I found it hard to laugh at a mentally ill person with a double leg break being hit by the contents of a shipping truck, sadly>>>
Wow, you must despise the old Loony Tunes cartoons.
I enjoyed that so much, I slowed it down to watch every impact and savor Twilight's pain... and then I decided it wasn't enough!
Sooooo, I abducted a mentally ill OCD person and broke her leg with a baseball bat! Then I dumped a shipping truck on top of her!
But all that happened was lots of blood. TV lied to me. I told that to the people who showed up with the nets and the big white truck.
And now I have this really nice room with padded walls I can bang my head into all day and not even knock myself out!
(Proof that television violence inspires real-life violence! NO MORE TV VIOLENCE!!! You may all only watch re-runs of "Little House on the Prairie" and "Alf" from now on.)
3166542 Allow me to show you my taste in comedy and respond to the later half of your comment in one simple Youtube video
I like sophistication (such as irony) in my comedy. And I like it to happen to people I have no reason to respect. Or at least be handled tastefully when it's a character I respect. I love old Looney Tunes from the Golden Age. The ones before that...yeah, no, I do hate them. They have half the intelligence and none of the whimsy. Which is another way of saying that Feelin' Pinkie Keen is Satan.
I know a lot of people have been stating that this was heavy handed and a bit OOC. I didn't really get that feeling from it. It felt more "down to earth" and realistic. Granted, having Scoots and RD wanting to do the same things could be viewed as "too much", but it created an easy to follow correlation that felt quite appropriate.
I've met a few people I've "looked up to", and can honestly say that some of them only give a half assed attempt to be friendly, and others actually give an effort to at least connect on a friendly level. It goes without saying which ones maintain their fans after meeting them, and those who do not.
I kinda want to see a followup story on the Wonderbolts to see if they realized that, though grueling at times, how being completely disconnected from a fan you're supposed to be entertaining can feel.
In all, I loved this story.
A very interesting story, one that makes me believe this should have been an episode earlier in the series.
760?!? Scoot, you gotta make a shorter list.
Otto Focus. Nice name.
Never thought I'd see Dashie lose her hopes for the Wonderbolts!
At least there's a happy ending for both "sisters."