The six Great Clans defend the Empire, and life is peaceful. However, since the clans’ interests usually clash, that peace is really fragile. Unfortunately for the Empire, the Dark Lord has bigger plans now.
Chapters (18)
- Member Since 12th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 21st, 2017
Simon_oSullivan
Brony, Whovian, gamer, writer, reviewer, riffer, have a beard... I guess that's pretty much it.
Simon_oSullivan
Joined 12th Jan, 2012 ·
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noy
This would have had more exposure if you just posted each part once per day. Now I fear that it won't get much recognition.
This is quite an interesting take on MLP. Setting it to a Fedal Japan setting. This is well writen out and the characters' personailities are kept intact while adapting them to the fedal setting. Il ove to continue seeing where this goes.
If I may ask, though, you said this is in the crossover category. A crossover with what, I may ask?
266084
Glad you asked, though its a little known world. The crossover is Legend of the Five Rings, a CCG/RPG based in feudal Eastern Empire. It's a really complex world but, knowing that very few peole will be familiar with the main source, I simplified most of the elements and avoided the specific jargon. This should make the story enjoyable for all the readers.
Heh, I'm familiar with the source and I'm finding this quite entertaining. Good job, can't wait to read more.
267753
Really? Wow, That's awesome!
Really glad to have a L5R connoiseur as a reader. If you find it enternatining AND not insulting, then I'm doing a better job that I expected. I have a huge draft around here, and in order to fight the writer's block, I'm trying to get some random scenes from the future episode rolling. I'll take time, but I hope everyone will find it as awesome as I do.
267793
Heh, I used to play the card game, had most of the first edition of the RPG, and later the D&D sourcebooks for Rokugan. Also read the clan wars series a long time ago. Considering you're crossing over two very different universes, I think you've hit the right mix of the two.
Finally got around to reading this. I might be unfamiliar with the settings you're crossing over with, but you seem to be letting in just enough information for me to follow the story.
Kudos. Would be tracking.
I can't tell you how happy I am to see this story here! As I said on Equestria Daily I love that someone ponyfied L5R.
266084 I highly recomend Legend of the Five Rings if you are into RPGs, CCGs, or interesting stories (they publish stories on the L5R website).
Ok, this story is pure WIN
On the chapter aspect: the chapters may be long enough to separate into 3 parts, possibly 1 chapter = 1 arc in the story, but that doesn't phase me one bit! The structure of this may make it easier for one to read, so that's a plus right there. Although it is the longest fic (and still going), I am amazed you have enough inspiration to keep this going. Kudos for the future!
On the content aspect: as stated above, this is LONG! And it is not composed of shit at all. The plot continuously adds to the much larger one, and keeps me going, enough that I would look for the next chapter button, when it isn't there. Few fics do that. All the characters, mane ponies, background ponies, etc. all of them blend in together as if they ALL have a purpose in the story. The detail just paints a picture of the story so realistically, kinda like I have a movie in my head. This is one fic NOT hastily, lazily, or apathetically written. I wouldn't be surprised if someone did make a movie (not likely) out of this masterpiece waiting to become a masterpiece.
On the preview aspect: the picture show Lyra the samurai kneeling. At first glance, the mind would stereotypically assume it is full of action. They would be mistaken by the dark and humble setting they are placed in at the beginning. I like that view of things. The discription would be a tiny bit excluding, and a little misleading according to the story. In my opinion it would be great if you could clarify and even give a little more of the 'appetizer', because with this amount of content, there should be a little more foreshadowing to what the fic holds in store for the reader.
Since mustaches are given as a rating here, I hereby give you
out of 5 
's
Have a nice day!
Awesome chapter! And go Big Mac and Twilight!
It's godd every character has a story behind them and every thing that happens has a impact to the story.
Holy shit, that's scary.
So there are Void spirits...an interesting change.
I like the world building you've been weaving into these chapters.
Pinkie was awesome, I hope her and AJ will be all right.
Once again, you amazed us with 3 chapters that each make up one complete "episode" that is action packed and blood-thirsty. A true spectacle that is breath-taking and wonderful to read. The whole story plays out like a japanese anime even!
In fact, if this were an anime, I think the two opening themes for Sengoku Basara would be perfect for this story:
OPENING 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ELt1B9r6y0
OPENING 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj2ldRSHNzE
Anyways, the characterization is blended perfectly between the two source materials while adding it's own terminology and history.
This is truly one of the best MLP:FiM crossovers I've read, and can't wait to read more.
Anyways, I hope the two opening themes from Sengoku Basara help inspire you further with the story and setting.
Keep up the good work.
617858
I appreciate those words. It's actually the thing that takes most time to make up and adapt in a way that's still loyal yet not disastrous. Relationships among clans are also an issue to take care of, but luckily most of the plot-related stuff is going smoothly and reviewers have little to no problems with them (and sometimes it's just something minor that can be easily fixed by rephrasing or adding some more worldbuilding or a piece of lore tu justify it).
618072
Wow, I haven't been an anime fan for years now (only a few of them caught my attention, and the clichés really started making me loathe the genre), but that looks like a pretty awesome one. I love the songs, and I'll surely check it out sooner or later. Thanks!
I will mention this later on the blog too, but I have the exams in a couple of weeks, so the next chapter(s) will take a little bit longer to appear. Even though I have most of the basic drafts already made, writing them with all the study I should be doing (and that I'm NOT doing) will take time.
On an unrelated note, I'm not the kind of guy who drops references to certain movies/songs here and there very often, but I was hoping that somepony would be able to get the reference to "The Ring of the Nibelungs".
Check the blog every now and them to check how the story gets developed and reading some mindless stuff every now and then.
I don't want to be a doody or anything, but I did notice the lack of a space after a comma, before the word proceding the comma. If you want, I can copy paste a revised version into a Gdoc.
949740
Hmm nah, I think I'll just check it once I have time. If it's only one lesser mistake such as that one, I'll be able to look it up once I have the rest of the new chapter in the reviewer's table.
Good things to know: After so much writing, I've improved as an author. That means it takes far less time to review the episodes, changing from the usual week or so to only 3 days (one day per part), which basically halves the waiting time. Salute to you all and enjoy the reading!
“What won’t be necessary.
Wouldn't what be that?
What do you mean by reviewing the episodes?
961828
Well, I know it's technically incorrect, but that's what everypony at Ponychan comes for: a review for their fics.
I know that the correct term should be proof-reading or edit, but I'm used to the term. And yes, I should've used 'chapter' instead of 'episode'. They're synonyms, but 'chapter' refers mostly to books and 'episodes' have to do with TV shows.
This is not a sarcastic answer to you, my grammar nazi friend, bear that in mind. Sometimes I want to make sure I'm saying the right words. Word choice is a pain in the flank for me, being non-native English speaker and such.
But yes, when I mentioned "review of episodes" I was talking about proof-reading and editing the chapters. There are a lot of things I used to have problems with, but luckily I've improved a lot with every chapter, so there aren't as much issues as with the first one.
We still have the classic "’he’ instead of ‘she’ or viceversa" issue, now 100% more frustrating because my "s" likes fooling around. Word choice, as previously stated, is a huge pain. So many words that mean almost exactly the same, but only one transmits the idea and effect I want. Also, clarification is an issue that I'm fixing in this incoming chapter, so dialogues will be easier to flow. Sometimes, as you noticed, edition has a drawback. When fixing stuff, some minor issues like spaces before commas that should be there but aren't or spaces at the beginning of paragraphs because I deleted/rewrote a sentence or the like.
We also have to avoid OoC moments. Even in a crossover world of samurais where the characters have aged around 10 years or so, the main cast is still the main cast. Unless explained or developed deeply (and with shown consequences), you cannot simply write a story where (spoiler alert for those who haven't finished reading Chapter 4) Silver Spoon bitchslaps Diamond Tiara for insinuating that she's a whore. That, my friend, even though I love writing complex scenes and convoluted political stuff, is my favorite scene for now.
Well that makes sense, as I come from a place where I don't know what the hell is on ponychan, and don't intend to find out.
But alas, you don't have an official Grammar Nazi on your team, do you? May I do the honors in future chapters?
965683
Well, you actually offered yourself several weeks ago, and I sent you a mail to the address you gave me back then with Chapter 4 (full chapter, 3 parts, comments enabled) ready to grammar nazi the horseapples out of it. However, after 5 days and no word from you (not even opening the gdocs), I decided to send it to my editor directly.
I had an error.
So did your editor.
When will you update?!
1098308
Chapter 5 is finished and has been sent to my proofreader. In a few days it should be up and ready to read.
1098338
oi49.tinypic.com/uahb9.jpg
Excellent read. Another 3-part chapter completed!
I love to continue reading where this will go next.
And if this where ever a real tv show, be be great if it were done as a Japanese anime or the official FIM art style either way. Maybe a combo of both?
Anyways, keep up the great work.
1287746
Glad to see you again. Yup, it took longer than expected, mainly because a lot of things, most of them out of my control, but I hope the waiting was worth it.
However, I'm going to try and update parts separately as I mention in the blog entry, to avoid having you waiting so long for the reading. I still think that it might work because the parts by themselves can work as a mini-chapter and don't leave anything in mid-action.
About the art, maybe some day I'll draw art. I want to think that maybe i can draw the ponies as they are in the story and then, next to them, the humanised version. I feel stupid when I check the Drawfriend and find an Eastern style pony and squeak saying "Oooh fanart of my fic", and then realise that it's obviously not.I've also been talking with a pretty cool dude to commission an opening for the fic, but considering the costs, it might take quite long. I have certain economic goals at the moment, and I think that the opening for this fic is a luxury that can wait.
Only 1 part? not 3? Where are the other 2
1349239
I actually decided, after weighing several options, to update parts separately as soon as they're written and edited (the blogs have the answers, but, in a nutshell, I fell horribly bad for taking so long to have material to read.
) If I start getting comments about readers prefering to wait for the three parts rather than taking them one at a time, as soon as I finish with the chapter, I'll return to the usual style.
1349256 Ah, I didn't know that, seeing as I don't stalk your every movement and such
It is interesting, but will be hard to get used too. If it is faster than your old update system was, and get us to read more often with shorter breaks between them, it will work out better in my opinion.
Dayum.
1349256
If you feel this method of updating is faster and better, then it's fine by me. Just as long as you update regularly, then I don't mind.
“So my good apprentice couldn’t resist the desires of the flesh,” complained Lyra with a huff.
Oh god.
Anyway, the only problem I see is when Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Pinkie were talking about the Prophecy, Pinkie seemed a little out of character when discussing. If I were you, I would write the scene where Pinkie would be stressed, but then interrupt Lyra/Bon-Bon/That other pony who's name I forget to try and make another point, and THEN settle down to a point where she is on the verge of collapse because of lack of sleep, talking to much and too fast, and othe reasons to slow down a bit.
Other than that, this chapter is fine. Apologies for the lack of pre-reading. There were a lot of tests, concerts, and fame of being on a billboard (FOR THE WIN) and my mom to deal with. I promise this next one will be in tip top shape when I am done with it BEFORE you post it here.
1452521
Oh, yeah, that scene with Lyra and Bon Bon is one of my personal favorites, so easy to picture it
I actually expected the beginning of the scene (when she's practising with the meteor hammer) to give the impression that she's actually trying to keep the mind blank. Once she explodes, you notice that she was trying to keep herself distracted from thinking, but when Lyra asks her what's wrong, she loses it. Still, it's not that much of a severe OOC, for there's a reason behin it and could be acceptable considering how it's going. But I'll try to check it once I have time.
No need to worry, we'll see what we can do in the following parts.
1456953
Ok, it's just me and my ramblings. Not to worry, I am at least 50% sane...
*looks at cover pic*
Instant fave, why did it take me so long to find this?
I got the Legend of the Five Rings core book today, but none of the Void Kiho seem to be able to deactivate Maho like Pinkie did. Is it from the Book of the Void, or did you create it for the story, or am I missing something in the core, or what?
Also, while I can make comparisons to some of the clans, such as Jewel=Crane+Scorpion, Apple=Crab, Lore=Phoenix, Party=Dragon, and Rainbow=Unicorn, what exactly is the Wilderness clan? and is the Rainbow Clan also part Lion clan?
1854175
An interesting question.
The Kiho Pinkie uses against Trixie is called "Way of the Void" or "Kukan-do". Quoting the book, "neither the caster or the target may use any magic, kiho, technique, tattoos or other Rank-derived benefits." Which, when you're a magic-focused character, screws you beyond belief. Now, that part where the spell fades when it gets close to Pinkie's void-surrounded body, that's a bit of artistic license I took.
Now, while it's true that you've guessed most of the clans, the Wilderness one is the oddest of all. There's not a whole clan of tamers expect for two exceptions: the Yoritomo Storm Riders of the Mantis and the Utaku Horsebreeders of the Unicorn. As for the Rainbow being part Lion, you might say so, though they're more a mixture of the Unicorn (Moto and Utaku families) and the Mantis (Tsuruchi and Moshi families).
Bear in mind, though, that the strictness of Rokugani rules (and the ideal of clans) are counterproductive when writing fanfiction that's not Legend of the Five Rings. Sometimes, to make the story easy to read for both scholars of the universe and those who never heard of it, we have to simplify and soften concepts.When you start your campaign, you might have trouble with some of those, especially for samurai who take insults to their honor (or things that they perceive as insults to their honor) quite seriously. Etiquette is serious business, but for the sake of canon characterization and story, I overlook some of those rules every now and then.
What book is Way of the Void in? because I can't find it in the 4th edition core (though oddly enough it is in the 3.0 Oriental Adventures book)
1857856
3rd Edition Core Rulebook: Way of the Void, Mystical Void Kiho, Mastery 7. To activate, keep eye contact and spend a Void Point, then make a contested Void/Insight Rank roll. If successful, neither the caster or the target may use any magic, kiho, technique, tattoos or other Rank-derived benefits. Skills, Advantages, Disadvantages and Void Points work as usual. The Kiho lasts until you end the effect, lose conciousness or the target moves out of visual range.
1858309That explains it, I have 4th edition, not 3rd
oh my sweet Luna... you mean to tell me that someone else besides myself knows and loves L5R?
OH GLORIOUS DAY
I have one question Simon_oSullivan.
Which 'Legend of the Five Rings' clan is each of the six clans based on anyway?
4186393 Oh, well, this is a bit behind the scenes, and I might return to this fic someday. Anyways, to answer to your question.
Lore Clan (Twilight's): Phoenix Clan
Apple Clan (AJ's): A mixture of Crab and Lion; dependin on the characters you see more Crab and Lion or viceversa.
Party Clan (Pinkie's): Mostly Dragon, with certain control over the greater monastic orders since the Pie sisters are the leaders of each one of them..
Jewel Clan (Rarity's): A (slightly) harmonic combination of Crane and Scorpion
Rainbow Clan (Rainbow Dash's): Combines the military aspects of both Unicorn and Mantis.
Wilderness Clan (Fluttershy's): There's not an equivalent in the original L5R stuff. You can see it as a mixture of the Utaku horse breeders and the Mantis Stormriders.
4187133 I see.
So in other words, 'Summoners' are the 'MLP:FiM' equivalents of 'Shugenjas' I believe.
If that's true then I should aim for the title of a summoner of the Lore Clan because I love to combine all of my powerful ice elemental magic with all added bonus of jade magic to protect all innocents and destroy all evil at every same time!
What title of a chosen clan would you be by the way Simon?
4189825 Oh, yes, I replaced "shugenja" for "shugenja" because, back when I tried to submit this to EqD, they told me to try and keep the Japanese stuff to a minimum. Shugenja summon the spirits of the elements to cast the spells instead of bending them to their will as classic wizards, I went with "summoners".
As for the title... I don't know, really. I've always been a huge fan of the Phoenix Clan (it's the one I started with when I began playing the card game), and my first character in a pen and paper campaign was a Phoenix ishiken (Void shugenja) who married a Kuni Witch Hunter and served in the Kaiu Wall. He was looking for a way to cure the Taint, which became out of the question when Daigotsu became the new Lord of Jigoku and made the Shadowlands Taint only affect those who embraced it willingly. But I still loved the character.
Damn, I really should return to this story one day.