Saga 3: Her What?!
My special talent should have been attending incredibly strange dinners. No, I don’t know what the cutie mark for that would have looked like, but it’s what I should have earned. First my foodgasm over a damn apple, then the White House dinner, and now the piece de la resistance, a round table feast in the middle of Canterlot Castle, with Celestia and Luna at opposite ends of it. I was just trying to see where the walls ended and the ceiling began, the hall was that tall.
“Um... Mr. Bacanti...” Fluttershy timidly asked, “do you think you could, uh, pass the bread please?”
“Yeah, sure-sure,” I said as I grabbed the bread basket that was being passed around, grabbed a roll, and handed it off to Fluttershy. I had to admit, even the bread in Canterlot looks fancy. But I don’t think anything will hold a candle to the castle itself. Holy crap, this place is huge, the show didn’t do it justice.
“Christ!” Pint exclaimed as he poked his bread. “I’m kinda scared to eat this.” I was currently sandwiched between him and and Fluttershy.
“Why?” I asked.
“Mate, I know you’re not an Earth Pony, but to us, eating is like getting a full itinerary our food.”
“Yeah, one of my friends mentioned that.”
“He an Earth Pony now too?”
“Yeah, man, you and Alvarez must have freaked out when we woke up. I mean, I just freaked out from the sky.”
“But it’s so open!” Sky said as he bent his head to look at us. “I feel like I can do anything in it.”
“That’s the spirit!” Dash said as she poured herself a drink of something; she filled her glass to the brim with whatever it was.
“C’mon Dash!” Applejack brought a hoof playfully down to the table. “Ya gotta share that with the rest of us!”
“But I never usually get to have any!” Dash complained.
“Don’t worry! Ah brought plenty to go around!” Applejack looked at the corner of the dinning room, which held at least five other cases of whatever Dash was drinking.
Pint looked at Dash’s glass. “That’s not what I think it is, is it?”
“Are ya thinking it’s cider, cause it’s some of the best Sweet Apple Acres ever made!” Applejack slapped the bottle as she passed it around the table for the other ponies to drink.
“I did want to try that after what Pinkie said about it,” said Pint.
“What did Pinkie say about it?” asked Applejack.
“That it’s the most super awesome drink ever!” Pinkie suddenly popped up through the middle of the table and sent confetti and streamers everywhere.
“How did she...” Sun stared at Pinkie’s odd display.
“It’s Pinkie,” Twilight explained. “Trust me, it’s easier to just go with it.”
“Gotta admit,” I said as I watched the bottle of cider get passed around the table, “I kinda wanna try it also. Always loved cider back at home.”
“Shoot!” Applejack exclaimed. “They had cider on Earth too? Ya’ll are gonna have to bring some back so Ah can see if they make it differently.”
“I didn’t get to try Earth cider either,” Pinkie said as she bounced back to her seat between Pint and Luna. “I did get to try this one drink that makes you pass out and when you wake up your head explodes!”
“Humans still engage in the barbaric practice of drinking?” Luna said with a shocked face.
“We’ve gotten a little better at it since then Princess,” Pint explained.
“When were you on Earth again?” Alvarez asked.
“I believe it was the time some group of humans called themselves Greeks. Why, I remember one time I tried human drinks and some uncouth man was riding on my back.”
“Princess...” my face deadpanned, “you... you got...” Luna drunk. Oh the strangeness just keeps pouring in.
“I suppose I did try a little. My sister and I have a bit higher tolerance for such things. Although that man kept bragging about it for days afterwards. I wonder whatever happened to him.”
Sun giggled a little. “Maybe he was related to Perseus...” she blushed a little. “Sorry, I’m a bit of a bookworm.”
“No problem with that!” Twilight said with a smile.
“Actually,” Luna tapped a hoof to her muzzle, “I think that might have been his name. But how did you know that, fair Sun?”
Pint’s, Sun’s, Neon’s, and my jaw dropped. “He...” Sun started, “he’s kind of famous... for riding a winged horse.” It was Luna’s turn for her jaw to drop. Her blue face turned bright red.
“That cur! Never again...” Luna looked over at Pinkie and then looked at all of us. “May I hold all of you to the Oath of Pie to never discuss this outside of this room?”
“We Pinkie promise!” All of us said in unison as we stuck a hoof over our eyes.
“I can’t say anything about my English professors though,” I joked.
“Ha! Now you should have gotten the Element of Laughter!” Pint joked as the cider bottle finally reached him. He poured himself a drink and then passed it to me. I was amazed how heavy the bottle still was as I slowly poured myself a glass. The aroma alone made my mouth start to drool, then again so had the scent of the bread.
I passed the bottle and was about to take a drink... when I realized I passed the bottle. “Nopony else get freaked out about that?” I asked the rest of the ponies sitting at the table.
“Freaked out about what?” Neon asked.
“That we’ve been passing a rounded bottle around with hooves!”
“Huh,” Sky said as he looked at the bottle, “that is we-” the bottle slipped out of his hoof. “Oh Crap!”
“Got it!” Twilight exclaimed as her horn and the bottle got covered in a purple aura. “Now,” as she spoke, the bottle poured its contents into her glass, “what’s this about hooves?”
“How did we all hold stuff with them?” I asked. All the former-humans held their breath as they looked at Twilight.
“That’s simple, it’s basic pony magic, even more natural than Earth Pony magic.” Twilight stopped levitating the bottle and grabbed it with a hoof. “See, it’s a simple as walking.”
“I’d argue that,” Sky said.
“Me too,” said Neon.
“Hell,” Pint grabbed his glass, “it’s not that bad when you don’t think about it.” He took a drink and then his glass fell to the floor. “But that stuff makes you think about your glass!” He brought a hoof to his head. “Christ! Feels like my head is about to explode! Only sip that stuff.” I, along with all the other ponies in the room, was staring at him. “Oh, uh, sorry about that, guess I got a bit overwhelmed.”
“No,” Celestia spoke up. “It is fine. I know everything you have gone through and all the challenges you have faced has been tough. I apologize.” Celestia bowed her head.
“Should a ruler do that?” Neon asked.
“I’m not thanking you as a ruler, I’m thanking you all as a pony who needed help. It has been too long since I’ve been able to have a celebration like this, too long since my subjects have had free space to roam. There has been too much suffering by both ponies and humans... but I am glad this day is finally here. The day when our two races can come together. I know it’s overly optimistic of me to say this, but I hope we can all continue united into the future.” Celestia looked over at Twilight and gave her a nuzzle. “I also want to apologize to you, my little ponies. I was selfish and put you in danger.”
“Shucks Princess.” Applejack tipped her hat. “We just wanted to help everypony. Hopefully, in a few years everypony can enjoy cider again.”
“And eat lots of cake!” said Pinkie.
“And enjoy open skies!” Dash smiled as she talked.
“Or have time to enjoy the finer things in life,” Rarity said before taking a sip of the cider.
“Or, um, just spending some time with some little critters,” Fluttershy mumbled.
“Well,” Luna said, “It sounds like you all have plans for the future.” She looked at me and the other new ponies. “What about all of you?”
“Find my friends and tell stories, I’m sure we’ll all have some pretty wild ones,” Pint said with a smile. “Hope I’ve got the best one.”
“Find a place that is cool and filled with water and food for my village,” said Sky.
“I’m with you on that, Sky,” said Alvarez.
“Find my family, catch up on everything I missed, and take walks,” Neon mused. “I’ll take the longest walks in the world. I’ll just be happy to be outside under your sun Princess Celestia.” Neon bowed to Celestia. “Or under your moon Princess Luna.” Neon repeated her action to Luna.
“Why...” Luna touched a hoof to her chest. “Why thank you child, I do not often get comments on the night.”
“You don’t?” I looked over at Luna and then over at Celestia. “No offense Princess Celestia, I love the sun and all the warmth it gives, but I’ve always like the space and the night. Just some of the stuff that fills the void is insane.”
“I hear ya there,” said Sun. “I loved it when I went on trips to the Outback and saw what the night sky looked like away from the cities.” Sun then looked over at Celestia. “That’s not to say that the dawn wasn’t pretty either.”
“All of you don’t need to be concerned with pleasing us,” Luna said. “Rulers are meant to listen to their subjects.”
“Her majesty would love to meet you,” Pint said with a smile.
“Forgive me,” Luna replied, “I’m not as well versed in your world as my sister is, I was indisposed for most of its modern development. Are you all still governed by monarchies?”
“They’re actually pretty rare now,” Sun explained. “Only a few places have kings and queens now.”
“Don’t forget emperors!” Neon pointed out and then giggled.
“What’s funny?” Alvarez asked.
“Well, it’s just that in my country we’re taught that the emperor is a descendant of the sun goddess.” Neon looked over at Celestia. “He definitely didn’t look like a pony.”
I laughed at that. “Well he didn’t look like a wolf either.”
“You played Okami?”
“Whatever the portable one was called.” I looked down at my hooves. “Heh, glad I beat it before all this happened.” Every former human at the table except Alvarez and Sky laughed at that.
“Hee-hee-hee,” Pinkie laughed, but then stopped. “Wait, I don’t get it.”
“Pinkie,” Pint started to explain, “humans have these things called video games. You control a little character and use them to solve puzzles, go on quests, and defeat bad guys. It all really depends on what type of game.”
“Ooh! Sounds fun!” Pinkie looked over at Celestia. “Can we bring them over here, can we?”
“I’m sorry Pinkie,” Celestia’s face saddened, “I’m not sure what can and can’t be brought over to Equestria, but most advance technology will fade. It can’t coexist with magic. I will try to preserve all I can of humanity though, I owe them that much.”
I sighed a little.
“Something wrong mate?” Pint asked.
“Eh, I’m a little bummed I’m gonna lose all my music. There are so many songs in the world, who knows if they’ll all get saved.”
“What sort of stuff did you listen to?”
“Pretty much everything, except for rap and country.”
“Any favorite bands?”
“Plenty. Queen, Killers, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, They might be Giants, Dragonforce, Asia, Billy Joel, Beatles, Dio, Coldplay, Relient K, Van Halen... the list could go on.”
“Nice, good to see you got some UK favorites in there. Quite an eclectic mix though.”
“Heh, you know, my parents always used the word on me. I always did like the ring it had to it.” Before I could ponder the appeal of the word the doors opened and platefuls of food flew in.
I, along with the rest of the new ponies, nearly passed out; the food smelled that good. “Geez! Not even on our plates and that stuff knocked our socks off!” I don’t think food coma is a strong enough term to describe how we’re gonna feel after this. The food not only smelled good, it looked amazing too. Seriously, the food shown in commercials didn’t look this good. Needless to say, I was drooling like an idiot, all the new ponies were.
“Hmm,” Luna looked at all of us, “sister, do you think the food will be an issue?”
“Come now Luna,” Celestia replied, “it has been a long day for everypony, it is only natural that they would be hungry.” Celestia looked at all us. “Just don’t go too overboard.”
“Okay!” We all replied before digging into the food.
… I don’t remember a whole lot of what happened after that. There was just a feeling of pure bliss. The only thing that reminded me that I was still alive was that I was chewing and drinking stuff. I can’t recall any tastes, only a sense of ultimate deliciousness. All I know is that I came out of the euphoric state after my stomach protested for me to stop. I looked around and saw everypony else looked about the same as I did, except Pinkie. She still looked as hyperactive as ever.
“Can we even call that food?” Sun asked as she patted her stomach.
“I don’t know,” Neon replied. “I don’t think food makes that happy though.”
“Not even the dinners with my family were this good,” Alvarez said as he tilted his head back.
“Hell, even my graduation meal wasn’t this good.” As he spoke, Pint leaned back in his chair. “Mum worked for days on that.”
“Ugh,” I barely managed to get out of my seat. “I think I’m gonna walk around.” I turned my head to Celestia. “That’s okay to do, right?”
“Of course, my castle is your home until proper living quarters can be arranged. Just don’t get lost.”
“I’ll remember that.” I said before I trotted out the door.
~~~
This place place is insane. I don’t even know how to describe how immense this is. Every turn leads to another hall that goes on for a long time. It honestly boggles my mind. Also, it made finding a bathroom all the more difficult. “Darn, I should have asked where one was before I decided to go exlplor—oof!” I bumped right into something, or rather somepony. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine... you wouldn’t happen to be one of the new pony humans?” I was talking to a white stallion with a mane comprised of many shades of blue. He had a shield with a star for a cutie mark.
“Um, yeah.” I awkwardly held out a hoof to him. “Guess you must be one of the princes here.”
“No,” he grasped my hoof, “I’m actually the captain of the royal guard. Name’s Shining Armor, nice to meet you. But if you want to talk to royalty, you can just talk to my wife.” He moved his hoof away and gestured to the pink pony next to him. It was her turn to hold out a hoof.
“Nice to meet you,” she said with a smile. “I’m Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. But you can just call me Cadance.”
“Nice to meet you too,” I shook her hoof. “I’m... John.” My voice trailed as I noticed I wasn’t talking to an unicorn, but an alicorn. “Holy crap!”
“What?” she asked with a look of slight concern.
“You have wings!”
Cadance looked at Armor and then back at me. “Hmm, guess that would be a little shocking to humans. But I mean, you have wings now too.”
“But you have wings and a horn! I thought only Celestia and Luna had both!” Okay, the show must have glossed over something .
“Don’t know where you got that idea from. Everypony, well, at least ever mare in the royal family has both wings and a horn. Consider that a little tidbit about Equestria.”
“Thanks,” I replied. The night just keeps getting stranger.
“Actually,” Armor spoke up, “I was gonna save this when I met all of you, but I wanted to thank you.”
“Heh, Celestia and Luna already beat you to it. Besides, I think we’ve already gotten enough thanks as it is.”
“Well can you accept the thanks of a brother for saving his sister?”
“What?” What’s he talking about?
“My sister, Twilight. I heard that she got into some trouble and you all sa— are you alright?”
Yep, show definitely glossed something over. My jaw slumped open in confusion. “Her brother?! Aw man, buddy, do I feel bad for you.”
“Why’s that?” Armor raised an eyebrow at me.
“Your sister is pretty much a star in my world. I don’t think anypony has even mentioned you before... at least I don’t think so.” Actually, he does look a little familiar... was he in the background of an episode before? Arg! This is breaking my mind!
“Um, well I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I’m fine just being the captain and having Cadance by my side.” He gave Cadance a nuzzle.
“Dear, not in public.” Armor backed away. Both he and Cadance had red faces.
“A-anyway,” Armor tried to regain his composure, “I thought Celestia was holding a banquet for all of you.”
“She is, but I ate a lot, so I thought it would be a good idea to walk off a bit of it.” I looked up at the ceiling, which was so high up that it was covered in darkness. “I got a little lost though.”
“Often happens when you first come to the castle.” Armor looked at me than at Cadance. “It actually how I met her.”
“Oh, you were so cute when you were just a lost colt trying to find the restroom,” Cadance cooed.
“Speaking of which,” I anxiously looked at them. “You wouldn’t happen to know where one is, would you?”
Cadance giggled a little. “You’re right in front of one, silly.” Cadance pointed a hoof at a pair of doors. One door had a silhouette with a pony with a rounded muzzle and the other had one of a pony square muzzle. I must have passed fifteen of the same type of doors. I facehoofed.
“It’s like being a kindergartener again,” I mumbled as I entered the bathroom. I returned ten minutes later with a partially soaked mane and coat. “Definetly like being a kindergartener again.”
“Did you have some, uh, trouble?” Armor asked.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know.” I looked at my wet coat and mane. “Don’t worry, it’s water.”
“That’s a relief,” Cadance said as her horn glowed and I felt like a body sized blowdryer was touching me. Suddenly, I wasn’t wet anymore. “That better?”
“Much, thanks.”
“Well,” Armor’s horn was now glowing, “shall we join the rest of the ponies?” The world went white for a second. Then it was filled with... confetti. “Huh?”
“Oh hey John! You’re back!” Pinkie exclaimed as she moved away from the her cannon. “I was super worried you’d missed the party... unless you were playing hide and go seek. Then we could have had a fun game!”
“I guess you could say I was doing that.” The room was now covered in confetti, streamers and balloons. “Um, how exactly did you get all this stuff ready so fast?”
“Party cannon.” Pinkie tapped on the small weapon.
“Well the show got that right at least.”
“Hey, I patented this! Guess it’s good that is got some publicity though,” Pinkie said with a smile before she grabbed Armor and Cadance and started dancing with them.
“Good to, uh, see you too, Pinkie,” Armor said as he tried to stay in tune with the other two dancy ponies.
“Yes, it has been a while.” Candance was much more adept at dancing with Pinkie.
I just stood there trying to process what I was looking at. “Oh hell, I don’t think any of this will ever make sense.” I got up and joined the festivities. Easily the best party ever.
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*yay*
should it be saying saga 2 in the title?
498226
yeah, I was wondering that as well
You've still got a few editor comments at the end there.
Aside from that, a nice feel-good chapter to help decompress after the earlier climactic events. I'm looking forward to more details on the nature of the merger and the reactions of people and ponies alike to their new neighbors. Oh, and just how badly physics has been screwed over. And how many others have ponified in the interim...
Yeah, long story short, I'm craving some worldbuilding.
" “But you have wings and a horn! I thought only Celestia and Luna had both!” Okay, the show must have glossed over something ."
Dayum. He missed that part of te show
499091
Remember the story started on February 13
Also, the view count it's... 1,006... I'm reading that right, right?
Thanks everyone for all the view
Party cannon fixes everything.
499366I know. He still missed the show :/
Hell yeah, Mighty Mighty Bosstones!
Ok, I figured from the description that this fic wouldn't be an average TCB fic, but how, How, HOW WAS THIS NOT FEATURED?
Seriously, if Chatoyance's fics set the milestone for "traditional" TCB fics, then this one definitely sets it for taking the original concept out of the box, running with it, then passing it off to Pinkie Pie!
This fic has been a great read so far, and I'm glad to see its not over yet. The originality of setting a TCB fic in the 'real' world (AKA one where FiM is a show, at least at first) was good enough, but you totally changed the game in the way things were set up. Main things I liked were the differences between the show!Equestria and the real one, like Discord being instead an anthropomorphic expression of the entropy problem, and that it had apparently glossed over or gotten some details fudged (Sweetie being good at magic, Scoots flying, Rainboom involving saving her instead of Rarity). Find it funny that the mane six's more embarrassing moments seem to have been carried over accurately. Maybe stuff like that just 'transmits' easier?
Other TCB concepts have been added almost seamlessly too. Even if they never get fully formed (if conversion of Earth is a lot quicker than in mainstream TCB) we've seen instances of people who could easily be PER or HLF. Heck, this whole basic plot could ALMOST be used as a TCB prequel, though it's obviously not meant to be(I think). Interactions between the OC and canon casts have been great, and I really like how you explained Cadance, since its about the same thing I had come up with (alicornism just being a trait of some members of the royal family). Like I said, this fic isn't over yet, and I'm eagerly awaiting future updates.
Oh that's right.
He never saw the Wedding arc.
Ah well. Live and learn.
The whole internet just nodded in agreement.