• Published 26th Feb 2012
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The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break - Fullmetal Pony



Reality becomes stranger than fiction when a man finds out TCB is all too real

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Interlude Three: Dinner and a Show

I never really did like having dinner at a long table. There’d be people at the opposite end that I’d wanted to talk to and people near me that I didn’t want to talk to. Right now, I couldn’t make heads or tells of who I wanted to talk to. I wanted to ask Dan how his new wings felt or ask how Nate was dealing with being an Earth Pony. I wanted to talk with my family some more and see them for the last time as humans. But, most importantly, I wanted to talk to Dash, she held all the answers... I hoped.

“Um, you’re sure your special somepony won’t mind you sitting next to me?” Dash looked over at Summer who was talking with Dan at the moment, probably about flight. The president wasn’t with us, he’d gone off to oversee military and civilian control. I imagined there would be more than a few riots going on right now.

“I...I think Summer will forgive me.” I’m talking to Rainbow Dash, what the flying f*&k?

“Wait, what’s her name again?”

“Summer... Summer Wind.” What had Mary’s last name been again?

“You know,” Dash spoke as she munched on a salad, she didn’t seem as enthusiastic about eating as newly-converted ponies were, “that sounds a lot like good pony name. So do some po-, er, humans, have names that are kinda pony-like, while others have names like you?” She pointed a hoof at me.

“Well, Summer kinda changed her name after she became a pony.”

“Oh, nice, it’s a pretty good name for a pegasus. So,” she was looking directly at me now, “how come you haven’t changed your name yet?”

“I...” I looked over at my parents, they were trying to convince my sister to drink the potion, “I just want to keep at least something human with me, something more tangible than my spirit at least.”

“You’re loyal to your roots, that’s pretty radical.” Dash twisted the lightning bolt jewel on her necklace. “It’ll probably make using this a lot easier too.”

“But how? I mean, I’m just a pegasus trying to get through this mess, am I really a loyal pony?”

“Hmm, I think it’s more than that, you’re a loyal person and a pegasus.”

“I... I guess.”

“Don’t guess, I know it!” Dash lightly elbowed me with a hoof, “If you weren’t loyal, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Well you’ve got me there. Still, just this conversation alone is all sorts of weird.”

“Why’s that?”

“Try to understand, a week and a half ago, you were just an animation on a screen, not a flesh and blood entity. It’s a little odd to see what you perceive as fiction become reality.”

“Heh, you sound like Twilight, wonder why you didn’t get a horn.”

“After seeing what Dawn and Sybil are going through, I’m glad I got wings. Unicorns seem the most indisposed to humanity. Plus, flight is awesome!” My wings twitched at the final sentence.

“Now you sound like Scootaloo when she first learned to fly. I swear that filly couldn’t stay on the ground! Then again, I was probably like that as a filly too.”

“Wait, Scootaloo can fly now? She never could on the show.”

“Well,” Dash shrugged, “I mean, that was a show, it probably got some stuff down, but not everything. Like that whole Mare-do-well thing the Princess told me about, that was just silly. If disasters like that happened in Ponyville that often, it’d bee a smoking crater by now...then again...” Dash’s face seemed to darken.

“What?” I asked worriedly.

“It got hard to live with all those other ponies. Even a small town like Ponyville was filled to the brim. Right before the Princess started her conversion plan, we’d had to start using cloud-walker spells on ponies. Ponies were being born faster than houses could be built. Clouds are easy to build with, but... do you like how free the air must be here?”

“I...I guess.” I thought back to my first flight as I looked out a White House window. I really need to go into the actual sky again.

“Well imagine the air filled with ponies. I admit, when I fly, I get a little reckless, but that’s just how pegasi are. We’re the rulers of the sky, we should be able to do whatever we want it in, but...” her words were becoming more strained, “when even shifting a cloud can cause a pony to fall, the skies become much less free.”

I didn’t want to pry any further, something had hurt Dash in the past though. “I...I see. You’re right though, the skies really are great, I’ll make sure all the pegasi can enjoy them!” My wings flared up on instinct. “Oh, um, sorry.”

Dash laughed, “Oh man, you really are just like Scootaloo! Whenever she wasn’t in the sky, her wings would flare up just at the sound of another pegasi’s wings beating. Guess flying must have really worn off on ya!” Dash smiled.

“Try to understand, humans see the world differently than ponies do: they can’t feel the air, taste the soil, or sense magic. Hell, I don’t know how I lived with food being so dull. But flight, my god, flight. That’s been a dream of humans forever. The closest we got were airplanes, but that’s nothing to these things!” I flapped my wings.

“Ya know, you sound like you’d be quite the star racer, it sounds like you really want to test your wings.”

“Well, I always did like running before all this, it helped clear my mind, maybe that’s why I like flight so much. It’s like running, only faster and the view is even better.”

“Ah-ha! I knew it! AJ said I was just bragging about flight, but now I have proof that it’s better than just keeping your hooves on the ground!”

“AJ... you mean Applejack right?”

“Duh.” Dash flicked me on the head.

“So the rest of you are here then?”

“You bet! Everypony shoulda met with their elements by now. Oh, that reminds me!” Dash took off her necklace and gave it to me. “I know this is sudden, but try to learn to use it as fast as possible. We’ve got a meetup to make.”

“Where?”

“Um,” Dash was searching her mind for the answer, “oh darn, where did Twilight say the origin point was again... um...” She looked over toward the window, “do you think somepony could open that?”

“Oh, I’ll get it Ms. Dash,” mom replied, “you’re helping our son out so much, it’s the least we can do.” Mom got up and opened the window and let the air in. Dan had to have my other friends steady him. This was the first time since he’d been ponified that he’d felt the open air.

While I was still trying to sort all the environmental information, Dash quickly took it all in. “Ok, it’s really far west of here, in a really big ocean.”

“The Pacific,” I replied.

“If that’s what you call it. It’ll take even us pegasi a few days. Shoot, if only Twilight or Rarity were here, they could teach your friends how to properly teleport. Then we’d be there an instant... not that we couldn’t fly there an instant. But you’re still getting used to your wings, so you probably couldn’t keep up that speed over such a long distance, no offense.”

“None, taken. I’m honestly amazed I’m as good at flying as I am.”

“Hey, don’t underestimate yourself, it took a lot to pull of that tornado today.”

“This coming from the pony who pulled of a sonic rainboom... you did actually do that right?”

“You bet! I’m the fastest flyer in Ponyville for a reason!”

After that we all enjoyed our dinner. I let my other friends talk with Dash as well. I was nearly rolling on the floor with Iron had gotten a little too close to Dash’s flank to look at her cutie mark. Her buck had sent him a safe distance away. Everypony laughed at that. Regardless, it was still a very, very odd dinner.

~~~

We were in a private guest bedroom of the White House. My parents were holding cups filled with the purple liquid. They were nervous, but they put on smiles in front of me. My sister just frowned. “John, I so get to hit you for this.”

“Heh, you better have wings to catch me then.” My sister instantly down the cup in response to my comment. I’d always wanted to get the last word in in argument with her, all it took was magic pony potion. Luckily, Rachel had fallen down behind the bed my family was sitting on, so they couldn’t see her transformation take place. I grew serious and looked at my parents. “Are you sure about this? I don’t know if you can go back.”

“Oh John,” mom tussled my mane, I’d always hated when she did that to me as a human, but it felt nice now,“we’re your parents, we raised you and loved you every day since you were born. We can’t do that if we’re like this and you’re like that.” The words stung a little, right now there was a gap between me and my own blood.

“Whatever happened to ‘you’re a college student and you’re your own man now’ stuff?”

“John,” dad replied, "whether you are a child, a man, or a pegasus; you are still our son. We’d choose to stand by you no matter what.”

I could have sworn I felt the Element around my neck pulsate. “Heh, why I got this,” I touched the Element with a hoof, “and you didn’t is beyond me.”

“Don’t worry John,” mom encouraged me, “I’m sure you’ll do fine, just like you always do.” She downed her potion and passed out.

“Dad...” I looked at my dad, “I know I didn’t talk with you that much... but I respected the work you did to keep me and mom and Rachel happy.”

“I know son,” he drank his potion, “I...know.” He was out. I didn’t need to see what happened next. In a few minutes, I’d be meeting my parents.

“See everypony on the other side.” I left the room just as dad’s skin went pure white.