When a windigo appears looking for a child he conceived with a regular pony, the Elements are dispatched to supervise the meeting. But it turns out that the windigo's isn't the coldest heart up in the northern steppes, and the child's adoptive family has some secrets of their own...
Lunaverse story.
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Interesting view of Puissance not what I expected of her at all. She actually a efficient ruler, as long as she benefits from what she does anyway.
I'm planning to have Windigo appearing in the next chapter of my non-cannon Dr Who / Lunaverse story so it'll be interesting to see what you make of them vs what I had planned.
Hmm, nothing wrong I can see with her for the Golden Horseshoes bit. That's about how I see her, too. Thanks for the heads-up concerning her. As long as she doesn't lose her fortune, should be fine.
When Night Light and Puissance are greeting one another, shouldn't they be saying "Good Evening"? Isn't "Good Night" something that is said as a farewell?
3140585: The Night Court meets at night. I see the scene as taking place at maybe 1 AM.
3140543: I doubt Luna would let her be Vicereine if she weren't good at her official duties.
She might be greedy beyond all measure, but I see her as good at her official job.
3140611
I was merely pointing out that "Good Night" is a common way to say farewell at night. Regardless of the time, Good Evening is just the more common way to greet one another at night
3140832
That would work...but it also suggests a solidarity between Night Light and Pussaince that I'm not sure would really exist.
3140962: I could see the three viceroys being reasonably friendly with each other.
Neat, I like the setup here. Hope we see more of the windigo itself soon. In my head, he's named Thyrm.
Three (minor) points:
1) It's Noctilucent, not Noctilurne. Though as the vicereine's your character, I can change it in Gala if you like.
2) Not sure if I wanted Equestria to be implied to be tens of thousands of years old
3) Right of Approach, not Appearance.
3141110: Oops, my typos re: Noctilucent and Approach.
I'll edit those, and also make the year references more vague.
Thanks for looking at this!
So, did the previous Puissance's Vault story end up becoming canon?
I do like this one so far, especially the little bit with Night Light.
3142309: This story assumes it is. It was a webisode, so I think that it's canon as long as a full episode (like this one) references it.
Alright... got good reviews from the community, especially RDD and RK, so I'm going to go ahead and find a good cover image, then submit. Thanks, everyone!
"And ponies wondered why Puissance took a... firmer hoof with her family."
...Doesn't her son hate her?
This sounds like another really well-written and interesting story. I love the Lunaverse ... except for one tiny detail: Luna. By god, she is a TERRIBLE ruler. I'd pick Celestia over her any day of the week. What kinda craptastic government is she running anyhow? Gyah! Always gets me worked up.
But I love Posey sticking it to Fisher. She is awesome. Though I do wonder ... they mention Fisher being a plot-head about families, but not his fantastic racism against "mud ponies" and "feather heads"? Really?
Love the descriptions, love the writing ... you really captured Puissance's character with just the simple act of going over a budget. Can't wait to see what you write next.
I was and am still not entirely for this concept as a canon story, but that choice is out of my hands, so onto the review, beyond what I feel to be a shaky premise it was well written, as all your fics are and served as a solid introduction for the story. I do feel the "hers" bit was overstated, I understand that was sort of the point, but I feel it started to get a bit repetitive to damaging point and maybe finding a different way to phrase would have helped ease it's repeat appearances. I feel the use of Fluttershy to be a bit, unnecessary ad the final planning phase that Puisance went through was a bit awkward to read and seemed a bit mroe show than tell and might have worked better as an internal monologue. My apologies if this seems rude, if I didn't mention something it's because it was solidly well written.
3143231: In defense of Luna here, I think she's handling this one about right. the Vault isn't illegal (even if it is deeply weird); Puissance can offer free room, board, and art supplies to whoever she wants, even if that's based on things like 'Ooh, this pony has a curly horn. I want it!' As long as it's all consensual and ponies in the Vault can leave at any time (hence Puissance going to such lengths to keep them perfectly content so they do not want to leave), I don't see why there'd be a problem.
As for FIsher... I think, once he's called Posey a crappy parent/aunt/whatever she is to Fluttershy, he can't really sink much lower in her eyes. The tribalism is probably just the cherry on the sundae at that point.
Glad you liked the story!
3143231
The problem seems to be that Luna is too blasted afraid of becoming Nightmare Moon to function. Once Celestia comes to her senses, things will start getting better governance-wise.
3143277>>3143304
It wasn't so much just this as it is everything that's come before it. From the Night Court, the Ponyville aid fiasco, the Grand Galloping Gala, that business with the Moon and Sun symphony ... it seems like the weakest point of the Lunaverse is, ironically, Luna herself. She comes off as either ineffective, unlikeable or just plain awful--as a ruler mind you.
3143324
Which is why a pony like Trixie can find a USEFUL role for herself.
3140666
I suppose so but I expected it to be that she had someone else be efficient and do her job for her while she collects her pretty things rather than getting her hooves dirty, it a pleasant surprise.
Very interesting! Puissance appears to be a terrible pony who shouldn't be in charge of so much as a cider stand. I wonder if her adventure will teach her the true meaning of family, because she seems to have a lot to learn.
Puissance clearly has an issue with property, be that a building or a pony life. She reminds me of a ruthless businessman who has his fingers in just about everything or the Think Tank from Star Trek Voyager in that she has to have something unique no matter what it is or how she gets it. This makes her a good antagonist for the story.
I do not see her selfish attitude getting her anything before the end.
3143505>>3140567
No, she apparently has to make it through this so that she can then put on some magic armor and explode.
I'm still not sure how I feel about that, by the way. So far Puissance has done nothing worse than be a greedy old miser. She's pitiable, if anything. You don't kill greedy old misers, you send three ghosts to them on Christmas. Preferably in Muppet form.
3143231
I think all her kids hate her. And her grandkids too. Her great-grandcolt Scepter probably doesn't actually hate her, but he is more than a little afraid of her.
Anyway. Grass&Clouds, buddy, pal, take a seat a moment.
First off, I like this story as it has been presented at this moment, and I do not mind it being canon. Let's make that clear right now. I especially like how the windigos are coming across as sort-of-intelligent, but in a different way from ponies, that makes speaking to each other on a complex level basically impossible.
Just...please do me a favor and make sure that by fic's end they don't end up turning into misunderstood creatures or something. You've got this kind of alien, unknowable, eldritch thing going for them right now, and I think that should be preserved. This should be a rare occasion where they can actually be negotiated with, but otherwise they're just too monstrous, too alien, to ever really coexist with ponies.
There's just one small thing that occurred to me while I was lying in bed last night trying to get some sleep. TIM. I don't mind TIM as a descendent of King Sombra...but I do kind of mind the half-shadow powers that you gave him. From what I'm looking at in the sequence of events of "The Crystal Empire," he (Sombra) only developed that after being thrashed and banished under the ice for a thousand years.
TIM can stay, but I wonder if you'd be opposed to a retcon that the shadow-magic that he can do is purely because of his own abilities, and not necessarily related to Sombra? Like, his dad had some different magic, his grandad something different as well, etc.?
3144063
Exactly what I was planning on. This is NOT going to be a case of just finding a competent translator and it turns out the windigo really just wants to be understood. The windigo is monstrous, alien, and weird. Negotiations are barely possible, but only because of these extreme circumstances. And there's no chance of permanent cohabitation of the windigo in Equestria.
3143890
Puissance reminds me this guy:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt0ogyvacg1qiwe3lo1_400.jpg
What story is the Vault from?
3147954: "Treasure City"
3146996 Yup, We have got a pony Larfeeze on out hands/hooves.
3150144
And considering Equestria´s magic is kinda tied to emotions, virtues and vices, I wouldn´t be surprised if Puissance ends turning herself into something... umpleasant.
Something tells me that this will end badly for Puissance.
Finally got around to reading this. All in all, I wanna see more.
Having finished work on the latest chapter of my own fic, I finally took the time to really read this in full detail. I'd only skimmed it before, and mostly only in regards to the windigo stuff, which I still don't care for. Lets table that for now though and talk about what I liked, and I mean really liked. The opening section with Puissance, mere words can not adequately describe the ecstasy and exhilaration. You brought the vicereine to life in such richly exquisite detail. I've been largely indifferent if still supportive of her as a character before, but THIS made me care about her (not like her, mind, but care never the less), want to read more about her, and is some of your finest work ever -- pity it has to be bogged down with what I still feel is the miss-appropriation of what a windigo should be.
That said, while I really, really still wish you would just use something other than a windigo, and even the story as written so far even leaves that possibility open without the need to retcon anything. I do still rather like the way you handled the details of the defense meeting. Military force was disregarded for practical reasons, not moral ones (which shouldn't apply to monsters made of hate). The excuse regarding spells is just barely passable, but still rather weak. Starswirl the Bearded has a whole wing in the archives, and according to Twilight, Clover the Clever was chiefly responsible for organizing and annotating all of his research, even though otherwise only being know to have developed the singular Hearth spell independently, so it would seem odd for that spell not to be thoroughly documented and archived as well. Moving on though it was interesting to see Fisher doubting the EoH, which makes sense; the "greatest magic known to ponydom" they may be, but they operate on friendship, a concept utterly alien to Fisher, so of course he can't understand how they work. Whereas conversely, Luna who does understand friendship is fully confident in there effectiveness to the task.
What I really liked most of all though, was the way you used Night Lite to propose actually finding the kid as an alternative to conflict. As a father who only recently got his own daughter back, that suits him very well, and hopefully can go long way to affirming (mostly to the audience) that his own actions in AtGGG where grossly atypical of an otherwise good pony.
Then of course though we get back to what this story does BEST, expounding on Puissance as a character as she debates her options, and it's nearly as delicious as in the opening scene. Though in her internal discourse there is one thing I hope you back off on, and that is bringing in any more vault ponies for this fic. Between, Puissance herself, Ice Heart, the L6, possible military escorts, and maybe even Luna herself, this story is already looking pretty crowded. If you must bring in any more vault ponies could we maybe limit it to just the two that are acting as his surrogate parents, they'd seem the most sensible, and I think it would make more sense if on paper at least they were the ones that adopted Ice Heart, with Puisances "official" role being more like a Guardian Ad Litem. (also, with both Puissance and Ice Heart presumably playing such large rolls in the fic I think you should really give this fic the OC tag, yes it would mean not listing one another of the L6, but one is already as such so another shouldn't be a problem.)
Anyway, in closing. I'm moderately more receptive to this fic than before, but still very tentative about it as well. For now though, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, and just hope this lives up to RDD's expectations. You've actually managed to remind me of what I really like about you as a writer here, so I really, really hope that I won't become disappointed in the end.
3140585
I've got to agree with Spammy, Good night is a parting phrase, not a greeting regardless of what time it actually is. Plus the phrase, "Good night, Night Light," just sounds very awkward. That said the fact he chuckles when returning the odd greeting, makes me think we could just pass this off as more of an inside joke between the two.
3140666 I'm fairly certain (not too sure about it though, still new to the Lunaverse section of the FIM-multi-fiction-verse) that sooner or later, lets hope never, that she might allow her "possessiveness" to REALLY get the better of her and endanger everyone.
*crosses fingers* Here's hoping for the best.
Seriously good piece of character building. Vicereine is Scrooge McHorse.
It is nice to reference TreasureCity here and in the adventures of the Doctor. Many readers want to keep the Windigos as enemies, but one must interact with them in this story. I see 3 ways of doing so:
* Make communication difficult.
* Make the Windigos predatious on ponies.
* Give them Yellow/Blue morality instead of Black/White-Morality.
You already made communication difficult with the Windigos sharing concepts.
Windigos feed of strife, which can weaken ponies to death and make ponies commit equicide.
In order to function in groups, animals need a few rules. If one throws a bone to a wolfpack, Rather than the wolves killing each other to get the bone, the animmal at the top of the pecking order gets it.
In wild horses, the oldest mare leads the group. 1 stallion who drove off all other challengers follows the group. The mares tolerate him and let him breed with them as long as he helps protect the group from predators. If a stallion flees from predators leaving the mares alone to defend the foals, the mares will not let him rejoin the group after the predator leaves. Stallions who have not achieved dominance, exist in unstable bachelorherds.
The best ethical system humans have is secular humanism, so I shall use that as an example of black/white-morality. Basically, if something increases human welfare it is good, and if it hurts people it is bad. In the modern times we have other systems such libertarianism created by Ayn Rand in which the principle underlining it is “¡I have mine!”. Historically, we had biblical morality in which it is perfectly more to murder and enslave nonbelievers (most theists are more moral than their religion).
Yellow/Blue-Morality describes a situation where the rules governing how sentient sapient organism use for interaction are so different that they make no sense to us. It is sometimes called “Tie/Bacon-Morality”:
“If one wears a tie, one looks nice, but bacon is tasty.”
One is supposed to scratch one’s head at the above statement.
One might want to give the Windigos Yellow/Blue-Morality with these 2 characteristics:
* WindigoMorality is incomprehensible to the ponies and readers.
* WindigoMorality is fundamentally incompatible with the mores, ethics, and laws of Equestria.
If we follow the above principles, we can maintain Windigos as an incomprehensible threat to Equestria.
Ever since I read the short story about the town of misfits I have wanted that explored more. its a neat idea to debate about whether what she is doing is wrong or not. I love it.
3268275
Only one variant: for Puissance, is not so much about having money, but more about possessing "things" ( lands, buildings, bussiness, ponies, etc...). She doesn´t mind about spending her money for a thing as long as it is worthy the investiment and remains as her thing.
...which is a very screwed mentality nevertheless.
Since Puissance is sort of Ditzy's polar opposite, I really don't see her good will lasting for more than the first few words.
Happily soaked Raindrops is so much fun.
POTATO_ON_YOUR_HORN, sounds like a Reddit username.
Nice airship, I think I'd rather have it than the jetpack mentioned last chapter.
3579794: Happily soaked Raindrops would be an awesome Lunaverse tumblr. She's got that certain joie de vivre. :-)
I saw that you put 'she' down for Snails when RD was explaining their competition. Nice nod to the new episode, btw.
Wow, what a great chapter. I appreciated the recaps and the exploration of Puissance and Ice Heart's relationship - hell, in her own twisted way, she really does care about him - and the foil being set up here between P and D is looking to be very interesting indeed. The character interactions in this were so nice; I loved seeing everypony come in and just have a moment where they laugh and joke around.
Also, shipping feels.Freezy Frosty!
So. You wrote about an airship that works in principle similar to an Alcubierre drive. Neat.
RainDrops and Snails covered in bees seems familiar, but I cannot place it.
;-)
Should be:
I always heard 'the poor have it, the rich need it' with the answer being 'nothing'.
I'd completely forgotten to favorite this. Fortunately I only seem to be a day late to the party.
Puissance: Four hundred eighty seven point five-four-one, repeating, of you.
Ditzy: ...what the - ?!
Puissance: Sorry, needed to talk to the Representative about something, didn't know there was a call already going through -
Ditzy: Um...
Dinky: That's a lot of wine!
Puissance: Less then you'd think. Quality, dear child, not quantity. A good bottle of '891 Chardoneigh can smooth the toughness legal battles.
Dinky: I'll remember that!
Ditzy: Vicereine - and I mean this with all due respect - please stop corrupting my daughter.
The reason this isn't put to larger use throughout Equestria, I'm assuming, is that it is massively cost-prohibitive.
I really admire Puissance's ability to perform mental gymnastics to obfuscate the fact that she's an interfering, domineering old tyrant from herself. Of course, that'll just make it more painful when she finally figures herself out.
Those stories about the bottles of wine were very interesting and well written! It's not something I've seen before.
Still, enjoying this fic so far, though this chappter a little less than the last.
I should certanly hope that most Rushians speak Equestrian. After all, isn't Rushia supposed to be an Equestrian province (Archduke Fisher's to be precise)? While there would surely be a regional dialect, would there really even be any language barrier to be concerned about in the first place? At most I'd expect the average Rushian to speak fluent, if accented Equestrian, with maybe ocasional pepperings of their regional tongue (much the same as Trixie does with French).
One question, why? Again, isn't Rushia an Equestian proviance, and it's not like they are ariving at a remote outpost, but Moscolt (which I'm guessing is the capital or at least a major city). Not to mention that unless I'm mistaken about this being Fisher's teritory, I'd expect them to be even more stirgintly rigid about weather patrol.
That said, I did rather enjoy Ditzy's hesitant uncertanty as Raindrops expoused on the joys of an uncontrled storm, since much like the Everfree, that's thekind of thing that should really unsettle the average Equestrian.
I actually enjoy that Cheerilee is holding something of an exagerated petty grudge over that ONE conversation she had with the vicereine (education being a very personal issue for her). Trixie's folow up speach about showing deference to the courtiers seemed a wee bit forced in it's delivery, but the overall message was fair enough. Still, I might recomend you consider rephraisng Trixie's dialogue so it sounds more organinc, instead of like she momentarly stepped outside the fic to directly lecture the audiance about how the court isn't all evil scumbags.
...and maybe cut Cheerilee emphasing the incodent with Scepter. Admitedly, reviewing is sort of relivant to Puissance's desire to control and "own" those around her, however, the way it's pharsed goes beyond comdic grudge and starts refelecting poorly on Cheerilee. So again maybe this is a case where the exact tone and phrasing should be reconsidered to make Cheerilee sound less overtyl angry and more so passingly irritated. After all, Puissance should hardly be the first overly domineering parental figure she's had to deel with.
The dialoge starts to sound especially like an "afterschool special" when Ditzy gets into the conversation, but that's actually kind of approriate for her I think.
Crystal ball? I'm a little learry of this. What you've effectively created hear is cell phone, and I'm not sure that's the kind of tech we want in Equestria, even if it is powered by magic. It's onething for apony like Luna to have a magic mirrior or something that she can use to call up the likes of Sleipnir on short notice, but this is presumably something Trixie and Twilight made. If unicorns can just make such devices than that seriously undermines the invention of the tellegrahp wich was supposed to be areceent and revolutionary development in comunication.
Also, the conversation itself just seems a little stilted and out of place. It's really didn't add anything to the scene on the train, but instead just dragged things out to remind us of things we already know about how much Ditzt and Dinky love each other and a rather pointless side story about foalish antics. As amusing a story as the sweet potato incident might be as it's own stand alone thing, here it just gets in the way and makes me all the more imaptient to get to the story I came here for in the first place.
...though at least the part about 1,000 bit wine made for an approtiat transition to Puissance, and just like last chater the vicereine is by far my favorate part of this fic. Her scewed view of the world that boils everything down to mere monetary cost analysis is just so delightful to read. It really makes her a difrent kind of antagonist, because there is logical sensibility to her philosophy, and yet it's all so hollow that it only serves to highlight that depsite her inordinate wealth and power, that for all her possesions her actual life is full of lonely emptiness -- and what's mall the more sad, she's absolutly blind to everything she's missing out on.
Of course than it all goes way past creepy when the vicereine pays off the ENTIRE hotel staff to take a vaction so she can replace them with her own servents during her stay. Again, there is a moderatly sound an rational reason for such ecentric meausres, but I fully echoe all of the L6's hestitant uncertainties.
Personally, I'd expect Ditzy would keep trying for to give Puissance the benefit of the doubt for most of the fic. Emphasis on TRYING though, as I'd wager it will just become increasingly harder and harder for her to ingore her gut feeling and mother's intuition that something just isn't right. Still, if only to preserve dramatic tension I think any full blown confrontation can't happen until round about the climax.
...
...
...
Oh, and on a closing afterthought; I did quite enjoy the gag and refrence to the show with Rainbow Dash, Snails, and the bees --HOWEVER-- I think the "Daringest Pony in Ponyvile" refrence was out of place and unessosary. I just can't honestly imagine Snails actually being able to compete closely enough with Rainbow for it come down to a tie breaker, or for that matter that he'd chalange her for such a lofty title in the firstplace, not to mention that since he's ajust a kid she'd likely laugh him off even if he did. The scene would work just as well if it was just the bee chalange alone with nothing else at all on the line, or better still don't exaplain why they are covered in bees and just have it be a sort of Noodle Incident.
3582930:
I see it as kind of like Quebec. Most people there speak English, which is the major language of Canada, but the historic language (French) is still really popular, and for some people it's kind of a point of pride that they mostly use French in their day-to-day life ("we won't let those other people impose their tongue on us!") I see Rushia as similar. Most ponies speak Equestrian, but most of them also speak the historic tongue of Rushian, and there's probably a few snobs who don't like to speak anything but Rushian, so it can be helpful to know a few phrases.
They aren't in Moscolt yet (and yes, that's the provincial capital). They're heading over open, unpopulated steppes which doesn't have a weather patrol en route to Moscolt. The cities and towns have pegasi to deal with the weather -- and Fisher is very strict about the weather patrol -- but the steppes don't need them because, well, nopony lives there.
I see Rushia as having densely populated cities and sparsely scattered rural villages, so there's open ground where nopony lives.
(The rail companies have pegasus teams to deal with issues like 'the track is being blocked by a huge snowstorm', but this storm isn't bad enough to risk derailing or slowing the train).
I'll probably revisit the tone of that scene later.
I think it's useful for Trixie and co. to be able to phone home, if only for dramatic reasons ("Message for Trixie: while you were on a bourbon run, parasprites invaded Ponyville, deposed Mayor Scrolls, and are instituting a mandatory cookie tax. Pinkie Pie is leading the rebellion.")
But I added a line about how the crystal balls used for this are very rare artifacts -- maybe on loan from Luna -- to indicate why more unicorns don't have these. If it not only requires the development of a new spell by Trix and Twi, but also some ancient artifacts for the spell to utilize, then it's probably relatively unique.
I was hoping to contrast Dinky, who is having fun playing with a vegetable worth a couple of jangles, with Ice Heart, who is having fun in a special airship with its own jacuzzi and the finest food imaginable. Especially since Puissance probably doesn't think you can have fun with a sweet potato, since it's so cheap and therefore worthless, I figured setting it up early would help me in referring to it later.
I see it coming about like this:
Rainbow Dash: I'm the daringest pony in Ponyville!
Snails: Nuh-uh! When I was playing with those spiders and tarantulas and snakes, you said 'ew' and ran away! I'm much more daring than you!
Rainbow Dash: Oh yeah? Let's see about that!