• Member Since 9th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 23rd, 2014

Diablomuerte2


The greatest source of inspiration for the stories I write is my insane day dreams.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to A Day Between Logic and Insanity


The Sequel to: A Day Between Logic and Insanity

Pinkie Pie, the baker who fell for a princess, now has to make due with her promise to Celestia that if she was to romantically involve herself with Twilight, she would be forced to become a royal guard.

She, with Twilight's help, studies and practices hard to become part of the royal guard. Though with being Pinkie Pie, things will not be so smooth.

Pre-Read by: SolidFire, kiheerSEDMAN

Edited by : N/A

Art by: ratchethun

Chapters (19)
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Comments ( 206 )

And so it begins! Nice art for this by the way.

~SolidFire

3214946 Yeah found it and messaged the guy who did it, He allowed usage already but I asked him anyways just in case he changed his mind. This pic works well with this story.

There is absolutely nothing I dislike about this idea!

Yeah, I really like this concept.

3215246 Oh yeah she will bad ass later on... early on she will be the bane of the guard trainer pony dude thingamajig... XD :pinkiehappy:

It begins again..... 'Braces for hilarity impact'

do u realize u put "arrived arrived"?
but still story is AMAZING !!!
im a flutterdash, rarijack, and TWIPIE!!!
:fluttershyouch: :heart: :rainbowdetermined2:
:raritystarry: :heart: :ajsmug:
:twilightblush: :heart: :pinkiehappy:

3215363 Oh just wait till Pinkie meets the guard trainer stallion dude. He will be driven to the edge by her antics XD

I probably should have commented this on the first story, but, since you've made a sequel, I'll just do it here.

When I was reading the prequel, it struck me as a little odd that Pinkie Pie absolutely could not court Twilight without being nobility or a member of the Royal Guard. Doesn't that seem a little off? It's a bit flipped from what we would expect the problem to be: the same-sex romantic relationship. Celestia has no problem with that aspect of their bond, but refuses to allow the courting unless Pinkie becomes a Guard? So on the one hand, society is progressive enough that nobody bats an eyelash at two mares being in love, but on the other hand, they're so archaic that royals cannot be wed unless their love is of nobility? It broke the immersion for me and I had to give that some thought.

It just struck me as a little inconsistent. Don't get me wrong, I loved the first story and I'm going to read this one as well, but I just figured I'd give my thoughts on that point.

Have a great day! :twilightsmile:

3215951 Well I figured that gender is no issue since the gender ratio is skewed, and as for the traditions I feel that if anyone was fit to marry royalty it would be someone qualified to protect them. Shining Armor and Cadence had lead me to believe that to be true and the implied Flash Sentry (who I despise) and Twilight thingy.

I don't have any other princess or royal couples to base it off since there are few royalties that are married.

Had Twilight never ascended the whole plot would never exist. She became royalty and as such is bound by certain edicts. The show keeps a Camelot feel to it (Canterlot lol) and with it the customs of princesses ( which are archaic in nature) and their marriage practices must be in place.

If Shining Armor was just some pissant I am sure he wouldn't have married Cadence.

I appreciate your feedback nonetheless and understand your point. Keep reading on and commenting.

3216020
That's a fair argument. Like you said, we really don't have much to work with as far as marriage in Equestria, much less with princess marriage. If there were only one thing I disagree on, it's that the princesses would need protecting from a suitor. Twilight has proven time and again that she can take care of herself and her friends, so that could offset the whole protector thing. Even Cadence has powerful protection magic, though that is limited as we saw in the S3 premiere. Regardless, it's your story, keep it going any way you like!
i.imgur.com/OL1DowU.png i.imgur.com/zbei6cO.png

3216048 I love the pinkie in the stache made my night. As to the protection, even powerful alicorns needs protecting. Still while it may be a weak point you have to admit even powerful deities like Celestia has royal guards and with what she is always being pwned by makes them feel pointless. It's more for show and tradition that she even brings them along. I would like to think that her guards are trained in combat (Pinkie will be in this fic later on ;p) :pinkiegasp:

Shaping up to be another great one, diablo! Thanks for sharing this with us :)

Remember that Royalty can easily have strange rules in regards to marriage even if the society does not in general and they don't always make sense. In Britain a royal had to abdicate his thrown to marry his future wife. This was not because she was a commoner and an American (though she was) but she was a divorcee. The problem was due to that which is even more ironic considering the church of England was founded due to a British King wanting to be able to divorce in the first place.

If homosexual relationships are "normal" in this universe then that being a limiting factor would not be likely but the concept of needing royal or ranks of nobility was a common practice due to it keeping the power in their hands and the possibility of keeping or increasing power. In this case it also is a concept of protection and noble bearing. While unusual in todays society (well at least in places similar to the US) something of this sort would likely be fairly common practice in a society like Equestria which is mostly seen as a non-modern society (that randomly slips into modern things when it makes sense story wise to do so).

Rarity has betrayed Spike's trust rather than helping him come to terms with the fact that she doesn't feel the same way, yet Twilight and Pinkie just laugh about it. Also couldn't help but notice that everyone says goodbye to the new ship, but Spike gets nothing. Some friends. What is he, the ethnic servant who's not important enough to acknowledge?

3217445 Excuse me but isn't Spike's emotional maturity at such a dangerous level that the slightest hint of sadness drives him to deep depression or to seek out something dangerous to find himself?

Twice in canon has something set him off where he ended up in dangerous situations because he wasn't "appreciated"

Dragon Quest, and the episode where Owlicious is at.

Also when they said bye to them it was implied they were also saying bye to Spike, not always he get addressed when people talk to Twilight in front of him. There have been episodes where people completely ignore Spike but when saying bye to Twilight it's also implied they are saying bye to him to. Like lesson zero when Mrs. Cake completely ignores spike and says goodbye only to twilight but instead of saying only goodbye to her she just says "Okay take care now."

Plus I rather save the moment for when Spike finds out about the Rarity Applejack thing for later in the story if it happens. Because honestly it's not really detrimental to the story that he doesn't know now.

Plus you forget who Rarity is, she is the queen of not giving a buck. If you don't believe me watch the show she, infront of Spike, was singing about the prince in the gala episode. Anyways that's enough defending my actions from yet again another Spike fanboy who is upset that I don't make Spike "important"

3217236 Well I never said homosexual pairings are normal enough, I mean it was just that to Celestia it wasn't the core issue with their relationship. While it's widely accepted in Equestria that love is love, there are some neigh sayers in the world... that will be coming up in later chapters.

Yeah royalty is weird with their traditions and custom. I mean look at Luna who spoke kind of derpy until she got lessons in not speaking like NERRRRD! (50 points to anyone who gets the reference).

Oh yeah speaking of royalty and guards... they aren't tagged because of the 5 tag limit but Shining Armor and Cadence will be in this fic.

ahh yes, so it begins.
awesome.

3218861 Well the next chapter is being written as we speak just need to find a right way to end this chapter and edit and revise it to make it neat and pristine for viewing pleasure.

Sorry for the delay in Chapter Release I fail at self editing so I am working hard editing until it looks like quality writing... bear with me it shall be either released tonight or tomorrow afternoon .

I want to start this with a compliment. The previous fic had a lot of good character development, and was all in all a highly enjoyable fic. You've carried over that well. I like the character interactions and to a bit how're your doing Pinkie Pie. She's not as much insane as she is both a Cloudcuckoolander, and The Cuckoolander Was Right, mixed with a healthy dose of Poor Communication Kills. But you do her seemingly randomness well without Flanderizing her which is always a plus when writing Pinkie Pie. She seems random, but she's almost always right and has a deep, insightful mind that alot of ponies and people ignore because Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.

Actually the only thing that came across as OOC was Fluttershy's possessiveness. I see her as the bearer of Kindness and an all around good pony would know that Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. And as such wouldn't be as she was portrayed. If anything she'd be happy with Rainbow Dash keeping in touch with her friends so that her (RD's) friends wouldn't feel hurt or as if RD didn't care about them anymore. Yes if she thought that RD was flirting or trying to cheat on her I can see her making that hurt known, but possessiveness just doesn't seem like an IC characteristic.


That being said. I want to know how you address / think of Pinkie Pie and the Mane 6 being minor nobility / knighted after saving Equestria from Discord? Technically she's already a knight / noble of sorts. Is this going to be touched upon? Also about Spike ... I'm not going to go to abuse since I don't see it as such. But Twi's treatment of him is OCC. In Canon, Dragon's are sapient, powerful beings. Technically Spike is a citizen of Equestrian and speaking creatures aren't pets in that world. Is there any reason you write him as a pet and with disdain? I mean when he comes up it almost sounds like you have a strong, near visceral dislike of the character.

Twilight does overwork him, and he does enjoy it. But she has always treated him as a mix of little brother, legal gaurdian, and boss. As well as co-dependant on him taking care of her since she lacks the skills to do so herself with how easily she looses herself in her research / studies. If it wasn't for him taking care of her she'd have starved half to death by now. So the spoken dialogs of both fics where he's not called her assistant but a pet, and her anger / borderline contempt of him feel disonant with Twilight Sparkle in the show as well as her overall personality. Especially when dealing with others.

Neglect, Pushing numerous responisibilities, forgetting he exists when she's in the middle of something. I can get that. Hell even RD or another pony pwning him when he crosses a line I can get that as well to a degree. But not how he's been portrayed so far.

Twilight, other than when interacting with her son / entity she brought to life (hatched) /what have you. Has been wonderfully done, I love her interactions with Pinkie Pie, as well as Celestia. And this story has a lot of good going for it. I eagerly await to see what happens next and I love this fic. Thank you for writing it. Also your self editing is good so far.

3225643 First of all Whoa! I appreciate the length in which you presented your argument.

I will not lie I didn't originally have a disdain for Spike until a bunch of spike fanboys kept pestering me for not making him important or loved... honestly I never saw Spike as important in the series and never have I thought while watching an episode.. "Hmm needs more Spike."

You have to understand I am an older fan of the show not Gramps old but I have seen enough cartoon to spot the generic comic relief character. I have seen so many shows try to make the generic comic relief character seem better. I can't stand by that. I actually have plans for Spike in this fic and Twilight worries about him next chapter. This first chapter had no Spike love from Twilight because she was too busy to show anypony love. Next chapter which is already written and ready to be posted (with a few more touches here and there) will show that I don't hate Spike as people believe.

I honestly didn't make Fluttershy seem possessive she was just wanting to dance. Though RD and Fluttershy's marriage isn't perfect and that will be something brought up when RD talks to Pinkie later on (Spoiler alert) anyways...


I just want you to know I am glad you think my self editing is fine so far because I did work hard on this chapter and the next one as well.

3225687

You are welcome. Honestly I never saw any mlp series other than the fim generation. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter when I wake up *last post of the evening*. And the time and dedication to improving yourself shows :twilightsmile:.

3225725 Oh you flatterer you... :twilightblush:

As for the other mentioned about the saving the world stuff. That will be addressed I am glad you brought that up because I do have plans for that and it will be handled. :pinkiehappy:

3225735

Yay! Because I remember them being knighted and it brought up on their Tropes page. Also some fics call them this one C word, or sometimes a Barroness.

I can't wait to see how it's handled in this fic. I mean I can see their type of Knighthood, was an honorary title for saving the world from Discord, as well as the other times they were national heroes for Equestria. I'll be keeping an eye out for the next chapter.

3227705 What episode did they get knighted? I remember them being rewarded with a medal but no official title was bestowed upon them. If so why didn't it carry over canon? Why are they still treated like any other pony instead of given the respect they deserve? In canon even after saving the world from Nightmare Moon and Discord the group of ponies don't get an iota of consideration more from anypony. Example: Put your hoof Down( Or whatever that Fluttershy being a bitch episode was called) No pony showed a shred of respect towards Fluttershy besides the mane 6 and it caused her to become a bitch (after the iron will training) and then it still was the same thing. No one respected her until she made them fear her.

That doesn't show continuity.

3228234

Sorry my notifications didn't tell me you posted a reply thingy:


The show sucks at continuity.

Royal Wedding: Twilight has all of her friends, mentor whose known her since she was a wee-little filly, her brother, and her son/assistant that she personally hatched. Turn their back on her. Practically disowning her.

Then at the end of the series. Nothing. It's never brought up, never mentioned, everypony acts as if that whole scene never happened.

The Episode where Nightmare Moon crashes the party:

The CMC are hiding under the same table, are in contact with one another, and are able to see one another. So they have prior contact.

But in the episode where the Cutie Mark Crusaders are formed, they treat as if they've never met before the party.

Cutie Mark Chronicals & Magical Mystery Cure:

CMC shows and builds canon on how the Cutie Marks were gained, and the emotions behind it. On MMC all of that continuity was thrown out the window. The Special Talent / Destiny was ignored for a quick plot device that made no sense.


Changleings eating habits:

The Changelings feed off of emotions (most notibly Love), the Crystal Heart sends love, and happyness throughout Equestria. AKA a Gourmet Buffett. Yet is ignored, no Changeling Swarms over the Crystal Heart, no Changelings show period past the Royal Wedding.

_________________________________________________

So Continuity on that show is spotty at best in many areas. Hell ignoring the Knighthood. Ask yourself this.

They've been known to save the world on numerous occassions, many of them in a very public manner (or way that makes it known it was them). Yet none of that is paid any attention or notice. Why would them ascended to minor nobility matter to anypony when saviors of Equestria is repeatedly ignored?

3228414 You also forgot that Spike's obsession with Rarity mysteriously disappears or doesn't have an appearance in season 3... You would think that would have been explained or something?

Also continuity issue number 3

Their cutie marks. Before the cutie mark chronicle episode Applejack declared she got her cutiemark last in class... when you take the events of the cutie mark Chronicles the last one to earn their cutie mark in the group was Rarity because the play took place at night.

The show definitely lacks continuity in some plots or details.

Still their past deeds as I said will be addressed in this story. Because like you I dislike the whole "They saved the world... who cares." Nonsense that the MLP writers seem to continue with.

Oh the changelings the writers biggest fail. They had no final solution to the changeling problem and should have honestly made the spell eradicate them all and not leave that window open.

3228424

Season 3 ... Seriously every show is allowed at least 1 Flop Season and that season was one hell of a doozy. But yeah it'd be nice to see how you handle the whole "Saviors of Equestria" thing. I swear they got knighted in that public corronation / ceremony that had who knows how many hundreds of the Canterlots there. And who knows how many stained glass mirrors chronicling their achievements.


Oh! One error in this chapter.

You didn't close the __________________________________ in Center brackets.

center]____________________________________________________________

3228443 Fixed... thanks for catching that... I don't know how I missed it DX.

Season 3 had one good thing. Scootalove + SuperDash XD

3228450

Oh! I agree, but it had only two really good episodes. Sleepless in Ponyville, and the Wonderbolt Academy. Possibly Too Many Pinkie Pies.


The Crystal Empire was horribly entered. But I'm not going to rant about how Statues of Unicorns, Armor for their special event was fitted for Pegasi, and the logistics of stealing Horns and Wings from ones oppressed people. Or how saying the Crystal Ponies were all Earth Ponies, when all the Mane 6 / those who stay in the Crystal Empire are turned into Crystal Ponies (and that's only when the Crystal Ponies are drawn as Crystally).


Sorry. I get on ranting tangents on things everynow and then. But anyways I did Like Scootaloo and Dashie. Although they really needed to go into that more. Build up that relationship. Rather than make one episode than forget all about it.

3228478 Yeah also they kept dropping FlutterDash hints all over season 3 but yet no canon :( anyways I won't get into that but I will say this.

The best ending for Scootaloo would be to have Dash and Shy as parents. One is a flying and fast pegasi and the other is a slow and walking kind.

So if Scootaloo can't fly ( as I hear rumors of her meant to be disabled) then boom Shy can help her cope with being on the ground.

If she can fly then boom Dash got it.

Anyways as for this story... when it comes to dealing with the events that lead to the moment (aka the show) I am going to be using key elements and stuff that was mentioned in the show throughout. Also the last thing I want to note about this story is, it won't be an all around comedy as there will be sad moments in the fic but I can't add sad tags to comedy fics (conflicting tags don't work)

If you are a genius like I think you possibly could be... then you know already what the heck is going down after reading chapter 2

3228518

I have a few guesstimates, but I'll wait to read more before I say anything. And I really hope that FF shipping becomes canon. Especially since the Female / Male ratio on the show is 1.86 femals per 1 male. [I did the math].

FlutterDash would be a good family to Scoots.

damn girl close dat door

Oh god steel wall and pinkie's personalities are going to clash so much, I bet it's easy to think of ideas for this xD

3229955 Oh yeah they will clash. Pinkie being super silly and Steel Wall with his ultra tough seriousness... he is going to go crazy.

Especially that scene when they argue about the legitimacy of calling Spike a dragon.

Oh yes! Sequel, I am going to love this!

Unless something horrible happened to the Plot since a Day between Logic and Insanity, of course.

...The synopsis at the beginning of the chapter seems more than a bit hashed to me.

Also:

They weren't given a set date for her return; however, she promised that once she qualified for the royal guards and got her assignment to Twilight , they would return and stay in Ponyville.

Why is there a space on both sides of the last comma?

While every word seems spelled correctly, the aforementioned hashing of the early points of the story seem to abandon Grammar niceties in favor of being excessively blunt, at the very least the jarring transitions from one sentence to another, or between one comma and the end of the sentence, ruin the immersion for me.

Edit: Yep, Grammar issues, painful. "More tougher Pinkie.", the random use of contractions, on one hoof you have "We will" and the other, you have "It's".

Edit, again: When Rainbow Dash said "Me and Fluttershy", I chalked it up to RD being illiterate, but when Twilight said "Me and Pinkie"? I blew a fuse, Twilight is a genius, and knows that the correct phrasing is "Pinkie and I".

And another edit: Where did Spike even learn words like that?

Headache.

3232466 Huh you know I appreciate feedback but being this upset when I already stated "I am not using an editor for this fic" kind of just makes me feel like you wanted to complain especially about one minor issue while the other huge issue I can understand.

Anyways I can fix the things but be gentle XD

Edit: I fixed two of the issues that I felt needed fixing.

Pinkie saying she will be a more tougher pinkie is how she talks... she isn't known for grammar. If you expect Pinkie to suddenly have a higher IQ or be more refined because she is going to be doing something like becoming a royal guard... I have terrible news for ya XD

chapter one, the chapter where awesome begins
chapter two wherin shit get well and truly ready to get real.
chapter three the one wher....wait..... wheres three. FUCK ITS NOT OUT YET AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!
ahem. uh. yeah sooooo, i uh. like it.

3232930

Most of my issue is that I don't remember any such grammatical issues being present in a Day between Logic and Insanity, so it seems OOC.

And I get that you're not using an editor, which is why I expected you would make sure to edit it yourself...

3236322 I had an editor in the first fic, and they are busy editing other fics or dealing with irl stuff.

I also want to improve myself by editing my own work so I don't need an editor in the future. While having them makes my life easier it also makes me depend on others to get my work out to the public. I rather be able to sufficiently provide quality work in due time then wait on someone's time frame.

3234609 Chapter 3 is done being written but not revised or edited by moi and since my cousin is over this weekend posting updates for chapters is going to be hectic because he needs attention XD

Haha steel wall is gonna have a brain aneurism before he's done with pinkie pie xD

3236654 Quite possible, seeing as she isn't going to stop being Pinkie and he isn't going to lighten up anytime soon XD

poor steel, celestia straight out called his bitch ass useless and hes to whiped to even care. The life of a royal guard 90% standing at attention, 9% celestias bullshit, and 1% realizing your useless because you dont have magic jewlery

Pinkie Pie was bouncing around at the news “That sounds great! I can’t wait to taste your cupcakes!”

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: I bet she can't wait to taste her "cupcakes". Sorry to early in the morning, and that line was great.

By the way, this chapter was nice, Steel Wind is going to go insane when he sees Pinkie Pie warp reality, and her Pinkie Sense is probably going to infuriate him farther if he can't even set up a proper trap. You know with how fast and efficient her Pinkie Pie sense was with saving ponies from an active, potentially lethal contruction site accident in the Mare Do Well episode. Once she learns what sense being hit by someone is she's going to be hard as heck to hit. If she doesn't already have that as a differnet sense (falling object, Changeling punch, ect.).


Also I get how spending time with family is important. I'm glad that you decided that us readers were important enough to juggle with them. Again thanks for a good chapter.

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