Celestia and the Mysterious Red Button

by Word Worthy

The Office of Morgan Freeman Pony

"Can someone please round up these blasted Draconequii? Discord, get yourselves under control!" Princess Luna shouted over the persistent wub-wub of the ambient dubstep.

By now all the Royal Guards could hear were the exquisite beats of hardcore dubstep as they stumbled around on their hind legs, trying to find things to stuff deep into their ear canals for relief. The top hat and monocle wearing Discords stood by laughing at the stallions' misfortune. A few sat on seats now made out of cheese and pretzels instead of wood, sipping tea, and watching the struggling guards, making remarks on the situation.

"Oh my!"

"How quaint."

Wub wub, wub wub

"Why Mister Discord, are they not the epitome of unluckiness?"

"Umm yes, quite. Wouldn't you agree, Mister Discord."

"Yes, I would Mister Discord."

"I don't always drink tea to the entertaining sight of chaos, but when I do, I prefer camomile."

"Hmm hm hmm, quite so Mister Discord."

Wub wub wub

"Oh, you gents are so uncreative. Why not watch tea and drink some chaos instead?!"

"Mister Discord, you are a genius my old chap!"

None of the Draconequii seemed the least bit fazed by the grey pegasus currently galloping amok, roaring and setting fire to numerous objects as she chased after the original Discord. He still had the lemon muffin in his hand. "Give me MUFFIN!" Ditzy Doo roared. Discord chuckled, teleporting back and forth and effortlessly dodging her laser attacks.

"Discord, cease this muffin business at once and deal with your doppelgangers!" Luna ordered again.

The Draconequus chuckled amusement and instead jogged out of the main entrance of the throne room, with a rampaging Derpy following closely behind like some kind of one-mare stampede, if stampedes possessed laser eyes.

"Sister, we must secure the button at once. Another activation of this magnitude could be catastrophic!" To Luna's credit, half a forest did just uproot itself and run for the hills after all. What could possibly be next? Many present must be wondering.

To Luna's surprise, Celestia paid no attention to her. Tia's eyes had glazed over again as she stared at the button on the ground. "Tia! Sister...what are you...? OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Luna exclaimed.

"Cake..." Was all that the sun princess muttered back. Before Luna could raise a hoof to stop her, Celestia had already reached the button, her own hoof hanging only inches above the shiny red surface.

Determined to prevent a possible cataclysm in the making, Luna tackled the slightly larger alicorn. "How many times must I say it Tia? You have to focus, or this button will destroy all!"

Celestia glared up at her from the ground. "Cake? Cake!" The Princess broke out of Luna's grip and pressed the button.

"NO!" Luna shouted, grimacing and expecting the worst. The button didn't do anything.

"C...Cake?" Celestia asked sadly, looking around as if confused. Luna took the opportunity to snatch the device up, where it was safe from her sister's hypnotized grasp.

"You will give me my cake, or I will banish you!" Princess Celestia roared in almost demonic sounding voice, her eyes now alight. Using her wings, Celestia propelled towards her sister rapidly and snatched the button back, wasting no time in pressing the device multiple times, yelling out 'cake' with each strike of her hoof.

Luna rushed forward, desperate to stop Celestia, but the button would not allow that to happen. It left the Night Princess stuck in a time loop. "Stop, don't press it!" Luna was almost upon her sister, galloping, she reached out a hoof to..

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare press it!" Luna was almost upon her sister, and using her horn to teleport herself just in time, she reached out a hoof to...

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare press it!" Luna was almost upon...

(Press)

"Stop, don't you dare..."

(Pressed several times in succession)

"Stop..."

Celestia pressed the button one final time in an effort to receive her imaginary chocolate and fudge pound cake that infuriatingly never materialized. Instead, something far more unpredictable happened. Luna suddenly found herself free of the time loop. However, everything had disappeared, literally.

Luna turned her head frantically, trying to come to terms with what her eyes were showing her. Everything was blank white, and the button was nowhere to be found.

It was almost as if they were on the inside of a massive white box. The 'floor' was snow white. The 'walls', snow white. Can you guess the color of the 'ceiling'? Eeyup, as white as fresh snow. But the white surfaces weren't the only features of note here. Celestia regained her normal behavior, and looked around with confusion. "Where in my name are we, Luna?"

"I...don't know, my sister. Wherever 'here' is, it's definitely not the Castle, or even Equestria." Luna replied, dumbfounded.

"Welcome to my office, your majesties." A rich, deeply appealing voice greeted them from somewhere behind. Turning around, the regal sisters noticed for the first time a middle-aged stallion with a salt and pepper beard, stubble, and mane. He possessed wise brown eyes, and a shiny silver ear ring pierced his right ear.

He wore an all-white suit and tie over his tan-colored coat, and smiled at them knowingly. "The Princesses turned to regard the well dressed stranger, unsure if what they were seeing was indeed reality. Finally regaining her voice from the firm grasp of surprise, Luna at last spoke to him." The stallion said, randomly narrating.

"You're...you're Morgan Freeman, aren't you." Luna proclaimed, her voice filled with astonishment. Morgan Freeman grinned kindly, and chuckled. His laugh sounded like one of Fluttershy's lullabies mixed with the calls of a songbird.

"Guilty as charged, Princess Luna." Morgan Freeman replied.

"But how, what?" Celestia sputtered, not regaining her composure as quickly as her sister had.

Morgan Freeman held up a hoof, and approached them, going around Morgan Freeman's desk. The mahogany desk was massive and ornate, but its splendor was nothing compared to the eloquence of its owner's divine golden voice. The desks' sole contents on its surface were a few books, a pocket watch, a computer tablet, and a key to a small, rather unassuming filing cabinet behind Morgan Freeman.

"I take you're here because you pressed the button, didn't you?" Morgan Freeman inquired. The worried looks in their eyes answered Morgan Freeman's question for them in a way words could not. Morgan Freeman chuckled at them again. "Don't worry, I'm sure nothing too bad could have come out of it. Most artifacts like the button's kind tend to just have their fun, run their course than find new worlds to cause mischief in. Its simply their nature."

"You seem to know an awful lot about this button. Pray tell, are you perchance the one who sent it to us?" Luna asked with a thick note of suspicion in her voice.

Morgan Freeman's grin downgraded to a humble smile. Nevertheless, it was still graceful enough to turn something like sour milk into finely aged world-renowned wine. "I'm afraid not, your majesty. You see, I merely narrate the events of history, not make them."

"I see." Luna replied, nodding. "Such a magnificent voice is likely what keeps our universes from completely tearing asunder, is that not accurate?" Morgan Freeman didn't reply, and simply winked at her.

"But still, why are we here, Mr. Freeman?" Celestia inquired.

Morgan Freeman went back behind Morgan Freeman's desk and sat down, clasping his hooves together. "To be straightforward, there is someone who would like to have an audience with you, your majesties."

"Who might this mysterious individual be then? Please tell me its not Sombra, Nightmare, or...ugh...her!" Celestia flashed her tongue in a foalish show of disgust, causing her crown to tilt to a comical position atop her regal head.

Morgan Freeman waved his hoof towards the filing cabinet. That's when Pinkie Pie suddenly started bouncing around from behind the cabinet and towards Celestia and Luna. "Hiya, your majesties!" She greeted them sweetly. "Lovely night we're having, huh?"

"Cease your insolence at once, citizen! This chaotic quagmire of a night is not deserving of such amicable descriptions!" Luna barked, taken aback at the party pony's jubilancy.

Celestia sighed and fixed her magenta eyes on Pinkie Pie, following her as she bounced up and down. "Now, now Luna. This pony is almost always in good spirits. Now, what is it that you wished to discuss with us, Madame Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh, nothing." Pinkie replied simply. Both sister's ears fell flat, and Luna nearly face-hoofed. "Somepony had left a note under my pillow that told me to warn you not to press the button again, or that things would only escalate...something like that." Pinkie Pie shrugged indifferently and continued to bounce, with a grin on her face that any grandmother would instantly want to pinch affectionately.

"You're kidding, right?" Celestia inquired in a deadpan voice. "We end up teleporting to one of Morgan Freeman's home dimensions while our kingdom is at risk, only to be told essentially the same message we've already received?!" She face hoofed. "I think I'm going to shut down the government and sleep in for a week or two once this night is all over."

"Who left you this note, Pinkie Pie?" Luna asked urgently. "Did you see them?"

Pinkie Pie put a hoof thoughtfully to her muzzle. "Hmm, now that I think about it, I did see the silly silhouette of a unicorn slip through my door while I was counting sheep. But I have no idea who it was. I'm sure they just left it as a silly confusing prank or something, it's what I would do." She finished with a chuckle.

"A unicorn you say? Hmm. That leaves me with some potential candidates for starting this button debacle."

"Oooh! I KNOW! Maybe it was one of those people!" Pinkie Pie suddenly turned towards a random direction and waved into space cheerfully.

"Who are you looking at, Morgan Freeman inquired of Pinkie Pie." Morgan Freeman said, narrating himself.

"Why, the audience silly! They're supposed to know everything, right?"

Luna face-hoofed, sighing deeply. "Pinkie Pie, there is no audience. What does this seem like to you? Some kind of sitcom huh? A cartoon? This is serious business, Equestria may be at great risk!"

"Umm, no I suppose not. Sorry." Pinkie's mane partially deflated, making it flat instead of curly and frizzy.

"Please, that is enough you two!" Celestia cleared her throat for an extended period of time. "Will that be all, Mister Morgan Freeman?" She asked with waning curiosity.

"I'm afraid that's all, your majesty." Morgan Freeman replied, taking a sip of water from a glass next to him. It turned into a cup of pomegranate mineral water, and then refilled itself as Morgan Freeman set it down on a golden coaster atop Morgan Freeman's desk.

"Where is the exit then?" Luna asked. "It's right behind you, Your Highness." Morgan Freeman responded, waving towards something.

The alicorns turned around, and beheld the floating entrance to an old-fashioned looking 1920's elevator with a glowing 'exit' sign above the gilded doors. "Ah, alright then. Let us hasten back, Tia. Who knows what may have happened in our brief absence!"

Pinkie Pie quickly bounced after Luna as she entered the elevator car. "Don't forget me!" She said in a sing-song voice

"Of course you two, just give me a second." Celestia turned towards Morgan Freeman one final time. "Thank you mister Freeman for shedding some light on the true nature of this evil red button. You may have done Equestria a great service this night!"

Morgan Freeman nodded his head at her, beaming. "Oh, I hardly did anything your highness. Feel free to pay me a visit from time to time, I'm sure you are a great conversationalist." Celestia nodded to the stallion gracefully, then joined Luna and Pinkie Pie in the elevator. Just as the doors began to slide shut, Morgan Freeman waved jovially at them and called out.

"Send Fluttershy my best, won't you your majesty?"

"Oh, umm of course Mister Freeman, I'll do that." Celestia said hurriedly as the doors closed.

"The elevator then vanished from Morgan Freeman's sight with a wink of bright white light, taking the three back to the land of Equestria. Morgan Freeman pony was sad to see his royal guests go, but knew that they have duties to keep. There was still Grand Theft Auto Five left to play, after all." He said, Morgan Freeman's tablet now instantly turning into a PlayStation 3.

"Trevor is no ordinary psychotic Redneck, as you can see here from the way he is mysteriously laying in his underwear on the train tracks when you switch to his character. Los Santos was in for yet another day of heavy destruction, drunk driving, and coarse language." Morgan Freeman narrated as he played the game.

Comments

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

....Luna x Morgan Freeman OTP? o.O

[Zytharros]

3221275
It turns Celestia into a jelly doughnut that Twilight eats without thinking that the icing looks like her mentor's mane.
It multiplies Celestia a millionfold.
It makes Celestia fall in lustrous ecstasy with her horn.
Too many parties are never a good thing. The button makes every square inch of Equestria a party.
Celestia becomes Equestria.
The Elements of Harmony become fused like Siamese twins to Celestia.
Celestia becomes an ass. Not Molestia or anything... just an ass.
Celestia summons a tentacle monster named Dave who sells car insurance as part of his therapy.
Celestia summons Sephiroth and she's revealed to be Cloud Strife in disguise.
Celestia summons Cloud and bitchslaps him into becoming her slave.
Ponies suddenly realize they're naked and attempt to cover... their hooves in embarrassment.
Shit begins raining down instead of rain or chocolate milk.
Discord and the button have a fight to the death, twice.

[bloodwolf432]

[JoeReads]

3320446 I don't think it's luna...

[JoeReads]

Slurping... Just... So much slurping...

[Buckshot2825]

So, tell me, were you drunk when you wrote this. If not, you should do another chapter while drunk. That would... well... actually i don't think we want to see that...

[MidnightFMare]

huh... so others can enter the freespace... ah well, an nth dimensional narrator gets bored sometimes... i happen to be one
except mine is well... mine

[JoeReads]

3320833 that was awesome

[JoeReads]

3402129 True, true...

[JoeReads]

3402200
... Never eat Derpy's muffin...
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZfEki4zUcM]
(This is for anyone who doesn't get the reference [as if anyone doesn't know])

[Thule]

[Maxes Altho]

Now, when GTAVPC is finally released, I want someone to do a Morgan Freeman VO mod for single player.
...Actually, make that Samuel L Jackson. That game requires repeated use of the word "Motherfcker"