• Published 1st Sep 2013
  • 2,993 Views, 90 Comments

Celestia and the Mysterious Red Button - Word Worthy

One night, an odd, little red button randomly appears in the Princess' mail. What could it possibly be for?

  • ...

You Pressed It, Didn't You?

“Are you all right my sister? You still don’t look so well... Perhaps we should get you to your bedchambers, and I’ll deal with this dangerous button...device...thing...” Luna’s voice was slowly becoming sharper in Celestia’s mind. As soon as the older Princess’ eyes began to regain focus on the world around her, her mind became alert, as if a fog had been cleared in her consciousness.

Seeing her sibling regain her faculties once more that night, Luna released her from her winged grip. “I... Perhaps... No. This button thing is going to require two alicorns to deal with. I don’t trust our guards to be able to handle it, Luna. I mean, look at all the mishaps they’ve caused alrea...”

The Sun Princess’ eyes widened as Luna moved out of the way, revealing the latest wave of chaos brought about by the mysterious button. “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me...” Celestia finished with her jaw dropping open.

Whereas the previous button activation had changed the gender of half the guards in the room to mares, everypony was now turned into pink, fire-breathing chickens.

Silver and gold armor, spears as well, were all strewn around, abandoned on the floor. Their original owners were now strutting across and around them, cackling and squawking in a stupid way only chickens could. A few of the chickens were bigger than the others, and were so frightened, they were hiccuping green magical fire high into the air, much to Philomena’s distress. The elegant scarlet and orange-plumed phoenix was somehow free of her cage.

“Who on earth released Philomena?!” Celestia inquired, to nopony in particular. Luna shrugged her forelegs helplessly. Celestia looked towards Luna, her gaze fierce and dangerous. “Did Discord free her in this chaos? Discord, GET OVER HERE!” The furious alicorn scanned the throne-room-turned chicken coop for the Draconequus. Where he had originally stood, there was now only a random top hat and discarded gold-rimmed monocle. A pile of bits laid scattered around and beneath the gentlemanly attire.

“Tia, I suspect Discord is... currently not the Discord we know right now. Perhaps Philomena’s cage was likewise turned to bits upon the second activation with our fine chandeliers.”

Celestia held a hoof to her chin. “Remind me to have new chandeliers installed after this, the old ones fashioned by those children at the Canterlot orphanage were tacky anyways.”

Suddenly, Luna’s eyes assumed a strange twinkle, and she stretched her wings out to her sides, taking to hovering in the air. “Come little children, I’ll take thee away...” She sang dreamily. “Into a land, of enchantment...”

Celestia was looking at the Princess of the Night as if she had just turned into a Changeling drone. Luna shook her head violently, snapping out of some weird state of mind. “Lulu...?”

“Umm, oops.” She then recalled what her older sister had just said, some comment about chandeliers... “TIA! Now is not the time to be thinking about Castle decor! Focus my sister, focus!”

“Ugh... Right. I’m sorry, so many things on my mind.” Princess Celestia cleared her throat. “I understand that you just told me the note’s wording changed?”

The message from the Button’s box floated up to sisters’ view, carried through the air by Luna’s telekinesis. “Indeed. Behold!”


To whom it may concern. You must be absolute dolts! It does not matter how shiny it is, you MUST NOT press it anymore times!! You’re lucky we’re all still alive after all the previous activations. Consider this your one and final warning! Do not listen to its voices in your head, and do not, DO NOT, leave it to anyone else to guard.

P.S. Don’t try throwing it out anywhere, either. It will always find its way back.

Luna crinkled her muzzle in frustration. “Dammit! I was prepared to just toss it off the mountain, as mentioned before. What are we to do with it then, Tia?”

Issuing a loud sigh, Celestia shrugged at the situation as well, then looked back towards her Royal Guards, now reduced to panicking poultry. “Well, for starters...” Celestia ignited her horn, and formed a new cage around her distressed pet. She then levitated the cage towards her, Luna, and the throne. Philomena gave a pleasant chirp of relief as she was reunited with her owner. The sun alicorn then stuck her muzzle through the cage bars. “Ahh... Did you miss mommy?” The phoenix nuzzled her head against her owner’s nose, hooting affectionately.

“Yes, yes little one, I know sharing a room with Discord can be trying and quite frankly, disturbing. But, only you can keep spying on him for me while I sleep.” Philomena reeled away in discomfort as her mistress’ normally serene face adopted a rather suggestive smirk. Princess Luna rolled her eyes, familiar with that whole sorted affair.

Setting the cage down on her throne, Celestia then levitated the Button from the ground to the floor at their hooves. Luna cringed away from the powerful device almost instinctively. The Sun Princess could already here the seductive voices echoing from the shiny button, straight into her brain.






“Just one bite...” Celestia murmured, absently-minded. Luna stomped a hoof into the floor violently, jolting her sister out of her stupor. Celestia shook it all out from her mind, threw the button a look of pure loathing, and formed a magical shield bubble around the insidious little device. “And now that Philomena is back where she belongs, It’s time to keep this thing under guard, as the note instructed the first time.” Celestia said, finally responding to Luna’s question moments ago.

This caused Luna to frown in concern as she regarded their poor guards, who were still running around as chickens. “What about our guards? How will we get them back to their proper forms, only Discord alone has the power to reverse something as powerful as, as that thing...”

She waved her hoof angrily at the Button. “And now he’s randomly been turned into currency! The irony, Tia, the irony!”

It was then, that the shield Celestia just cast,collapsed when the Princess got distracted by one of the panicking Royal Pink Chickens. The imploding force of the shield spells’s collapse acted on the button. Inevitably, the device was triggered once again tonight.

“TIA! NO, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!” Luna bellowed in the Royal Voice, fearing the possible destruction of the entire known universe. Celestia cringed, taken aback at the strength of Luna’s Thu’um, I mean... uh, Royal voice, yeah that’s it.

Fortunately, Luna’s fears were unfounded. Instead of the possible destruction of everything she knew, two pony-shaped figures began to warp into the room. At the same time, all the guards were restored to their proper states, gender included. The stallions breathed sighs of relief, as they moved to retrieve their lost armor and weapons. Oddly enough for now, Discord remained a pile of money amidst Victorian-Aged nobleman’s clothing. Meanwhile, just now coming into focus, the warping shapes were revealed to be...of all unicorns...Twilight Sparkle.

Standing before the Princesses now, was Twilight and....Guylight?

The first, resembled the normal Twilight, but looked ten years older, in her thirties. The second pony, was what could only be Twilight if she were a stallion. Both wore matching brown turn-of-the-century business suits with black ties. The male Twilight sparkle had a miniature blackboard around his neck that had a chart reading, ‘Heads’ and ‘Tails’ with thirteen tally marks on the ‘Heads’ section, whilst the older female Twilight held a platter with a six pointed star design, bearing two silver coins, smaller than bits.

“What is this?” Luna inquired of the pair of lavender unicorns, completely dumbfounded.

“Twilight? What are you...you two... doing here?” Celestia asked as well.

The Twilights smiled knowingly at the alicorn Princesses. “You pressed the button didn’t you?” Male Twilight asked.

“Of course, how couldn’t they? It’s so shiny!” Female Twilight added, smiling at her companion.

“Princess Celestia, tell you what...” Male Twilight began.

“You take these coins, and flip them.” Female Twi continued.

“Heads, something pleasant happens.” Male Twi followed.

“Tails, something completely random, good or bad occurs.” Female Twilight finished.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other uncertainly. “Go, ahead and try it. Your alternate doubles already have, and are about to do it anyways.” The male Twilight declared.

“Alright.” Celestia said simply, fixing her eyes on the silver coins with determination. She wrapped the first coin with her magic aura.

The Twilights beamed at the Princess of the Sun expectantly. “Heads? Or tails?” They said simultaneously. Celestia flipped the coin with her telekinesis.

It landed on heads.

Upon the coin’s ‘ding’ sound as it hit the surface of the platter the female Twilight was holding, the Button on the ground activated itself. In a torrent of released energy, a mountain’s worth of bubble wrap dropped down upon the Throne Room floor, burying the guards up to their chest in the fun packaging material. Luna, unable to control herself, squealed with delight, and dove into the mounds, her wings completely outstretched, propelling her along.

Celestia face-hoofed. Sighing, she turned back to the Twilights, who were still smirking their clever, know-it-all smirks.

“Second go...” Male Twilight said with glee.

“What will it be?” Female Twilight inquired.

Celestia flipped the second coin with her magic. She watched with baited breath as the coin flipped through the air, in seemingly slow motion.

Outside, as the world progressed by supernaturally slowly, Pinkie Pie floated past a window at a considerably fast speed, waving and grinning at nopony in particular as she passed by, the balloons tied to her waist carrying her through the cool, night breeze to (and from) parts unknown.

Back inside the Throne Room, the coin was nearly towards the surface of the bronze-colored platter held by the Female Twilight. The Princess of the Sun had her eyes glued to the coin as it made its descent. She dared not blink, for fear of missing the result. Everything hanged on this. The possible fate of the world, of normalcy, of sanity, and proper decor and fashion sense, all hung in the balance.

Finally, the coin made its mark with a ring as it settled on the tray.

It was tails.

Author's Note:

I made not one, but two references to some of my most favorite video games in the final parts of this chapter :D. Can you find out what they are? Thanks to all for, the staggering support I'm getting from this story! Looks like I landed heads with this one!!

The weirdness and chaos only escalates from here...