• Member Since 17th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 6th, 2020

ToixStory


A crazy winter lover who likes to write, blog, and cartograph about the fun and inconsequential.

T
Source

After being lost in time and space for centuries while fused with Discord, Twilight Sparkle has begun to lose her faith in herself and the Elements of Harmony. It is not until an encounter in Manehattan and a deadly fire that she begins to find her purpose again, and search for a way back home.

(Cancelled!)

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 222 )

Huzzah! Thine work has begun once more, and shall continue until the conclusion of a new tale! Brings much joy to mine heart!

That said, I'm proud to be helping with this project, and I promise everyone reading- this is going to be fun!

Oh, one more thing. I spotted three references. Anyone notice any I missed?

So I don't have to answer it in the comments a dozen times, the cover art is a reference to this picture:
smashingpumpkins.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/4MellonCollieHighRes.jpg

Is this some sort of sequel or otherwise part of a larger narrative?

3493640
It is basically a revamp of a previous story of his, Out of Touch. It is the same story, but it is just told differently.

It was a gift from a time long ago—longer now than it seemed

weaved out of zebra-spun cotton-and

That hyphen after "cotton" needs to be destroyed.

However, I didn’t want to get seen

"Get"? Really? XD Twilight may have lived in a backwater, hick-pony town, but she has a far more advanced vocabulary than that. It would be better as "be."

Then, when I did, I took off in a gallop down the far side of the hill,

You thought you wouldn't get me to edit this story, didn't you? XD Well, that is all I saw. This was fantastic, Toix. Exemplary work you have done here. I'll be following this as always.

"The world is a vampire..."
Great now I'll be singing that in my head all day, definitely giving this story a read later today.

3493771 It should be 'woven', which is the past-tense of the verb usage form of 'weave'. :twistnerd:

3490483
Kids these days don't know who Smashing Pumpkins are. :facehoof:

3493771

*narrows eyes*
You lookin' to take my job, punk? :P

Dammit...

Guess next time I'll go with SEVEN read throughs before giving the okay! Can't believe I missed those... :/

Thanks for pointing them out, though! I'll whip pester Toix till she fixes them :P

It took me until the end of this chapter to realize why she didn't want to call it a cape. :twilightblush:

3493771 3493804
And, as usual, you find something I overlooked. Thanks for the edits, and glad you liked the story. :raritywink:

The second I saw the Title... :moustache:

...DEPSITE ALL MY RAGE, I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAGE!! :pinkiecrazy:

is this a sequel to out of touch?

3494876
It's more of a reboot/re-imagining. Similar concepts, but entirely different story and message. :twilightsheepish:

3494881 cool, i dont really have to read the other one right now :P

Great start, Tox, and grats on making the featured box.

3494980
Thank you, I'm glad I got in the box, and I'm happy you like it so far. I really tried to do something different with this one. :twilightsmile:

3494988 It's a fairly different take on Twilight. So world-weary and old.

Bullet With Alicorn Wings = Bullet With Butterfly Wings = Smashing Pumpkins = Dead Space 2 trailer. I'm happy.

Would that title by any chance be a reference to the song?

3495275
Totally and completely, yes. :twilightsheepish:

3494693
It isn't about how many times you go over it; it is about how thoroughly you go over it the first time. I edit very slowly. It is because of this that I catch pretty much every single error that there is to be seen.

Editing is all about efficiency, my friend. The tortoise always wins the race, because the Devil is in the details. :raritywink:

3495281 Neither of the princesses are in this story? I of course mean Celestia and Luna.

3495735
Nope, just Twilight.

I'll smash your pumpkins
if you know what I mean
Siamese Dream was a better album though

Seeing as how the Smashing Pumpkins are one of my favorite bands, I'll have to give this a read.

Is this a sequel to "Out of Touch"? :trixieshiftright: I've read enough djthomp comments to know he has good taste, and saw that he liked that one a lot, so I put it on my to read list. I'm considering adding this one as well.

3496208
It is not a sequel, but rather a reboot/re-imagining. It shares the same idea of Twilight fused with Discord and traveling through time and space, but is told in a much different way from a different point of view. If you want my advice, read this one. :twilightsheepish:

3496209 I'll just read both. :derpytongue2:

But okay, I'll half heed your advice and give priority to this one. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Twilight and Discord fused and lost in space? :rainbowhuh:
i gotta read this....

Oh god I'm influential, people are looking at meeeeee.

i.imgur.com/2PRIihb.png

3495687

Repetition is important too! It's crazy how many times you can miss something stupidly obvious.

But yeah, you're right. I'm working on getting right back into my editing groove- it's been too long. And it's such fun! :raritywink:

3496741
Repetition is important when you are learning. But, as school has taught us, we grow out of our repetition phase, and end up getting things right every time. Or, to the best of our ability. There will always be those small mistakes.

And editing takes time to get used to if you are trying to get into the groove. Of course, I haven't done anything else other than edit on this site. XD So, I am used to it.

This story makes me curious, and for that reason I am going to eagerly wait for the next chapter.

I really wanted that you continue the idea of Discord fused with Twilight after I had finished the other story, and here it just is ! Love it so far :heart:


Greetings from Germany, 3ee

3495740

Are we going to figure out what happened to them?

So all I'm seeing in the comments are references to the smashing pumpkins. There is no possible way for me to be clever about it, so I won't even try to be.


I like Smashing Pumpkins, and also this story.

I’m not entirely sure our immorality applies to fatal injuries.

This should be 'immortality'.

But anyway, It's good to see you, if not continuing Out of Touch, then continuing to mine a parallel vein of igneous creativity. I look forward to multiple new words from you in the future, author.

“You ponies and your sleep . . . I wasn’t so hard to wake up when they dug me out stone twice!”

you accidentally something here Toix

3498299
Fixed, thank you! Any thoughts on the story itself? :twilightsheepish:

Not much, really. I'll be honest with you: while the story is definitely off to a good start, its main negative appeal so far is that it lacks a bit of exposition and/or story telling, which is hopefully coming shortly with the addition of the next chapter(like what happened in Manehatten). Twilight and Discord both seem a little off-character so far, but that's to be expected seeing as they've been sharing their experiences with each other for, what is assumed to be, a 'long time'. Again, nothing that can't be fixed with a little bit of world building.

It's a good, solid job so far. Keep it up.

I love how discord calls twilight, princess. Love this story!:pinkiehappy:

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