Sweetie must figure out her reason for magic, but is the key ahead of her, or behind? Only time or memories can tell.
If I wrote everything I took inspiration from the list would be longer than the story.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 7th Aug, 2012
- offline last seen Jun 20th, 2016
Radiogenicpony
1: Scootaloo 2: Rumble 3: Sweetie Belle 4: Apple Bloom 5: Fluttershy
Radiogenicpony
Joined 7th Aug, 2012 ·
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Hmm, a short piece. I liked the style and I loved the concept, though it was a bit jostling to enter the story. There were also a few errors with punctuation and capitalization, but not enough to be really distracting.
I think if this was expanded on a bit more, it would have a little more impact. Still, I enjoyed it enough to give it a thumbs up and a fave. Thanks for writing.
3217080
Why do people never check my user page?
This story is part of a series that is part of a trilogy.
2nd story of the second series, go look for the others on my page.
3221113 You can't just assume people will take an interest in your user page. Most people will only check it out if they think you have written something that piques their interest.
I'd highly recommend leaving a note in the description of the story when making a sequel. I found this particular story when sorting for stories with Sweetie Belle tagged in them, and read it because of that. Thus, I commented that I felt like it was a sequel to something I hadn't read, because I honestly did not know there was a sequel.
I generally only go onto the user page of an author after I've read the chapter of their story, simply because I don't want any unnecessary context before reading the story. I don't want to know how many other stories the author has written, and I want to read it with as little bias as possible. I want to view it as a single story and focus on it without context of other works (unless it is a sequel, in which case I usually want to read it in order). After, if I think the story was pretty impressive, I look onto the author's page and try to get a context on who they are after I know what they are capable of.
I find it slightly disingenuous to the reader to not mention in the description that the story is part of a series and whether or not reading that series is necessary to understand the context. Knowing beforehand could really help potential readers by pointing them in the direction of the stories they need to read first.
Have to give you props for telling a story using flashbacks and making it work. Like SilentBelle , I had no clue this was a sequel, but it stands pretty well on its own. As for my snooty critique: More apparent transitions between characters during dialog would this take this to the next level.
All things considered, I liked it.