Screw the Magic, I Have Friendship!

by Supahsnail

Yugi Knows All of His Friends

Yugi and his friends woke up on a dirt path that leads into a small town called Ponyville. Yugi was in control of his body again when he woke up and saw that he was a light brown pony with the same gigantic hair. “Oh my god!” He cried. “I look slightly more adorable than usual!”

‘This is terrible!’ Yami said from within Yugi’s mind. ‘Without hands, how will we play card games?’

‘I think we have more important problems than card games,’ Yugi replied.

‘Take that back!’ Yami demanded angrily.

Duke Devlin was the second to wake up. He was a light red unicorn with the same gorgeous hair and sparkling eyes he always had. “Duke Devlin is waking up feeling very sore,” He said. “But that’s just another day in the life of Duke Devlin.” He noticed his new form and shrugged. He was still ridiculously attractive and that was all he cared about. The rest was just details.

Joey woke up as a green pegasus the color of his jacket. “Nyeh! Am I still dreamin’?” He asked.

“No, Joey, I’m afraid this isn’t one of your furry dreams,” said Yugi.

Tristan and Tea were both earth ponies. Tea was pink, Tristan was light brown. “Hey, does anyone care about what we think?” Tristan asked.

“No,” Joey and Yugi said in unison.

“Well if you must know, I feel like having a sandwich,” Tristan said.

Ignoring Tristan, Yugi started to go over the situation. “So, apparently we’ve been sent to an alternate world where everyone looks like a pastel, cartoon pony, and if we can’t find Marik, we won’t be able to get back to Domino City!”

“Wait, Yug, aren’t you forgetting something?” Joey added. “What about Kaiba?”

“What about Kaiba?” Yugi replied.

“Trapped in a magical world of ponies without a way to get back,” Tea repeated. “Jeez, I’ve read fanfictions with better plots than this!”

“Tea, this is a fanfiction,” Yugi corrected.

Tea gasped, “It is!? Yay! That means that we can be shipped together!”

Yugi heard Yami’s voice repeating in his head, ‘God is dead! God is dead! God is dead! God is dead!’

“Hey, guys,” Duke said with one hoof extended toward the town. “My mojo is telling me that we need to go that way!”

“Is that where we can find the sandwiches?” asked Tristan.

“What? No, my mojo tells me where to find shemales that are relevant to the plotline!”

“Silly Duke,” said Tristan, “Shemales aren’t sandwiches!”

No one spoke for a moment before Yugi broke the silence. “So, Tristan, are you naturally this stupid, or is it something you have to strive for?”

Duke started to walk down the dirt path into Ponyville. “Come on guys; follow the sound of my theme music!” He instructed.

Yugi nodded and started to follow. “Come on guys, let’s bring sexy back!” He said.

_________________________________________

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE LIBRARY

Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Spike and Twilight were all scouring the library, flipping through the pages of unread books and tossing them aside in a frantic rush.

No, no, NO!” Twilight yelled to her friends. “This doesn’t make any since! There isn’t anything in any of my books that even mention that ‘Ancient Evil from another world’ that Shadi described! Every book in here is about things that are from Equestria!”

“Well, that makes sense, don’t it?” Applejack added. “Can’t easily write a book about a place you’ve never been to. Maybe we’re approaching this the wrong way.”

Twilight was far from as calm as her friend. “We’re running out of time, and the odds of somepony knocking on my door, and explaining everything to us, are slim to…”

Three loud bangs on the library door interrupted Twilight’s rant. Following the nocks, was Tristan’s voice saying, “I demand a sandwich!”

Yugi’s voice replied, “Hey, Tristan, do you remember back in season one when you were actually funny?”

Rarity was the closest to the door. “I wonder who that could be,” she thought out loud before using her unicorn magic to turn the knob on Twilight’s door and pull it open.

Yugi and Tristan were standing in the front of their group at the door. If it weren’t for how adorably short Yugi was, his ridiculous hair would have blocked his other friends from view to the ponies inside the library.

Yugi looked back at Duke and asked, “Are you sure these characters are relevant to the plot?”

“Trust me, Yugi,” said Duke, “My mojo never lies!”

“These ponies’ hairstyles aren’t nearly ridiculous enough to be main characters!” Yugi observed. “Well, maybe except for the guy in the back with the rainbow hair…”

“I’m a girl,” Rainbow Dash corrected angrily.

“I don’t believe you!” Tristan yelled.

Twilight’s eyes were fixated on Yugi’s Millennium Puzzle, which dangled from his neck and nearly touched the ground. ‘Those intricate carvings and symbols…’ She thought, ‘It certainly looks ancient, and it looks like it’s not from Equestria. Is that the evil Shadi was talking about?’

“Feel free to come on in!” Pinkie Pie invited, interrupting Twilight’s thought. The five visitors stepped inside, looking around at the interior of the small library.

The silence didn’t last for long when Tristan saw spike picking up a pile of books. “Look, guys!” He said. “That thing looks like a purple dinosaur, and I sound like a purple dinosaur! We should hang out!”

“No one wants to hang out with you, Tristan!” Joey said bitterly.

“Thanks, Obama,” said Tristan sadly.

“OOOH! OOOH!” Pinkie yelled excitedly, catching everyone’s attention. “That’s Spike! He’s not a dinosaur, he’s a baby dragon!”

“Can you imagine a dragon that isn’t a trading card?” Yugi asked to Joey.

“That’s pretty f***ed up, Yug.”

“Pretty f***ed up, Joey.”

Pinkie Pie continued naming her friends. “The one that looks like a marshmallow is Rarity. The one with the rainbow hair is Rainbow Dash. The one with that supper cool hat is Applejack. The purple one in the back who reads a lot is Twilight; and IIIIIIIIIIII’M PINKIE PIE! ~Squee~” she smiled inches away from Yugi’s face.

“Right, I’m Yugi Moto. The fact that my name is more ridiculous than all of my friends means that I’m the main character.” Yugi said. He started to list the names of his friends, each of them saying something after their names were called. “This is Tristan…”

“The pretty one!”

“Joey…”

“De-nyeh?”

“Tea…”

“Penguins! …I mean hi.”

“And this is um… Uh…” Yugi stuttered, trying to think of Duke’s name.

Duke looked annoyed and said his own name. “Duke.”

“Yeah, right, of course! Duke! I knew that…” said Yugi nervously.

“You didn’t even know my name!” Duke said calmly, but still angrily.

“Of course I know your name… D… Daniel?”

“It’s Duke.”

“Yes, Duke, that’s what I said.”

Tristan pointed to Duke and said, “He’s also a witch!”

“For the last time, Tristan, I am not a witch!”

“What about that time you turned me into a robot monkey? Huh?”

“That wasn’t me! That was that weird robot guy!”

Tristan turned away in disgust. “Please! I think I would remember something like that, witch!”

While Duke and Tristan were arguing, Rarity made her way closer to Yugi with her eyes on his impressive mane. “I must say, darling, I simply love the way you’ve styled your mane!” She complimented, making a very jealous Tea start to flare up. “It’s just so… Exotic! What product do you use to keep it that way?”

Yugi was about to answer when Tea jumped between them and glared into Rarity’s eyes saying, “Back off, you purple haired hussy! That’s my future husband!”

“Tea, calm down!” Yugi insisted.

“Shut your penguins!” Tea barked.

“What?” asked Yugi.

“I mean, penguin your mouth!”

“Huh?”

“I mean, penguin your penguins!”

“Oh, okay.”

“QUIET!!!” Twilight yelled, breaking up all of the small conversations and pointless running gags that were distracting the room. “I don’t mean to be rude, Yugi, but if you and your friends don’t have anything important to say, I’m going to have to ask you and your friends to leave!”

“Jeez, what’s got you in such a rush?” asked Yugi.

Twilight took in one deep breath and began to speak at a rapid pace. “Because, a guy in a turban who came out of nowhere and knocked on my door told me that there was an ancient evil coming, and I don’t know what it is, and he didn’t what is, and he said it would come at two PM, and that was nearly an hour ago, and I can’t find anything in my books about it!!!”

Yugi and his friends just stared at her for a moment without a response before Yugi said, “Wow, she talks even more than you do, Tea.”

Tea replied, “Actually, I…”

“Shut up,” Yugi interrupted. “Twilight, I think I might know what it was that that guy with a turban was talking about.”

“Guy with a turban…” Tristan thought out loud. “Hey, wait a minute! That sounds like my fairy godmother that saved me and Duke from falling off of that blimp!”

“Tristan, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that wasn’t your fairy godmother,” said Duke.

“SHUT UP, YOU LIEING WITCH!” Tristan barked back.

Twilight slowly calmed down from her nervous rage. “If you have any idea at all of what that stallion was talking about. It would be greatly appreciated,” she said.

Yugi said, “I’m almost certain he was referring to Marik Ishtar. He’s the one who sent us here! But… He also could have been talking about Kaiba… After all he cheated in a card game, and that’s unforgivable!”

Joey added, “Yugi, everyone in this show cheats, including you!”

“Okay, fine!” Yugi admitted. “He was talking about Marik.”

“I need you to tell me everything you can about Marik,” Twilight requested.

“Okay,” said Yugi, “but only on the condition that I get all of the screen time while I tell you.”

Thus, Yugi explained everything that Marik had done from season two up until then from his limited perspective. Twilight got the impression that Marik, although evil, was also not very intelligent; and his counterpart, Melvin, was the real threat. She had to stop him!

“We should probably go find Fluttershy, yall!” said Applejack. “T’aint safe for her to be off on her own with all these crazies runnin’ about!”

“Right!” Twilight agreed. “And I’ll need all of you to come with us.”

“Where’s Spike and that Duke fellow?” asked Rarity, noticing that they were no longer in the library.

“They went outside to talk,” Tea explained.

“Which one was Spike again?” asked Yugi.

“He was the purple dragon,” Joey answered.

“Oh… and who the hell is Duke?”

Outside of the library, Duke and Spike were having a short talk.

“So, you want to learn how to get girls like me?” Duke summarized.

“Yes!” Spike said excitedly. “That’s what I want really, really badly!”

“Well then here’s a few tips,” said Duke. “Tip one: Be Duke Devlin.”

Spike put on a blank look of confusion. “I don’t think I can do that one.”

“Yeah,” Duke agreed. “I’m the only person who’s ever been able to pull that one off.”

“Do you have any other tips?” asked spike hopefully.

“Hmmm… Nope. That first one was really all I’ve ever needed.”

“…Gee… Thanks…”

Comments

[Rhodesm96]

‘I think we have more important problems than card games,’ Yugi replied.
‘Take that back!’ Yami demanded angrily.

I laughed so hard my brother came into my room to see what I was laughing so hard about.

[Supahsnail]

3139665 Abridged Yami is my favorite. I think he's even funnier than Tristan. If you haven't also noticed I really like the: "pretty f***ed up, Joey" joke from season zero.

[dustor7689]

*Takes off shades*
They brought sexy back?!

[Gauge Runner]

Let Melvin introduce Mr Stabby to all the girls!

[Supahsnail]

3140658

Joey: That'd be pretty f***ed up.

Yugi: pretty f***ed up, Joey.

Melvin will show up in due time, my friend.

[Midnight-walker]

PENGUINS

[SuperPinkBrony12]

3140658 Melvin no! Melvin yes!

[confidentPrognosticator]

3141225 I want a Melvin hug! Pretty please?
(Sorry for double commenting!)