• Published 30th Aug 2013
  • 941 Views, 53 Comments

Snips' Clips Barbershop - AtomicMuffin



Mares have the spa, but where do the stallions go to relax? For some there's the bar, for others there's the barbershop

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Strange Bedfellows

Snips whistled a happy tune as he practically floated out of Ponyville Regional Bank. The look on the teller's face when he slapped down that massive bag of bits was priceless! He pranced down the streets with a spring in his step and a song in his heart. Everything was going his way. His shop was secured for at least a year, he had a new friend who was also a promising patron, and he even managed to talk to Sweet Roll! It was the perfect day! But he felt like he was forgetting something in the midst of his euphoria.

Snips strolled up to his apartment and paused at the door. He dug around in his saddlebags, but came up empty. Huh, where is that key... oh... Snips tentatively opened the door and peeked into the living room. Everything was as it should be. The furniture was exactly how he left it. Nothing seemed out of place, but the door was unlocked. And a certain changeling was unaccounted for. Snips crept through the room as stealthily as he could.

The couch was empty. As was the armchair. The living room and the kitchen were completely clear, so that only left one place to look. He swallowed hard as he sneaked over to his bedroom door. Pressing his ear against the door he listened for any sound at all. Anything that would indicate that someone was on the other side.

Wait just a minute! Why am I creeping around my own home like a burglar?

Snips took a deep breath and gathered his courage. With only slight hesitation, he opened the door and briskly trotted inside. There she was, plain as day, snuggled cozily into his bed. His abrupt entrance didn't even stir the sleeping changeling.

Okay, so I have a changeling sleeping in my bed. No shocker there since I gave her the key. Why did I even do that?! I don't even know her real name! I don't- He paused. What did possess him to let her in? Was it to make up for the way that he scared her when she first walked in? He did feel bad about making her cry like that.

And it's not like I asked her to stay or anything. I'll just let her finish her nap and we'll find a place for her to live.

Snips turned and walked back through the door. As he pulled the door closed with his magic, he paused as he heard moaning. Curiously, he opened the door just a crack and peeked inside. The changeling stared right back at him through the crack in the door. She moaned once more before pitifully bleating, "Help."

Without hesitation Snips threw open the door and trotted into the room. A stallion should never ignore a mare's call for help, even if she was a changeling. He asked, "What's wrong?"

She looked pale, and her half-closed blue eyes seemed dull and lifeless. She mumbled something inaudible. Snips leaned in closer. "What did you say?" Again she mumbled, and again he moved closer. This time he was directly above her.

She mumbled a single word. "Food."

She moved faster than he expected she could. Even in her weakened state she tackled him to the floor. Snips' head banged hard against the floor, dazing him as the smaller changeling pinned him down. Her eyes were still dull, but there was something primal within those orbs. Survival was the only thing that mattered.

Before he had a chance to recover, Snips was taken by surprise yet again. She leaned down and locked him into a deep, passionate kiss. Her lips were surprisingly soft and tender, and he barely even noticed the fangs. Come to think of it, her whole body was actually kinda soft. He had expected the shiny chitin to be hard and unyielding, but it was surprisingly smooth and warm. He was enraptured by the experience and the euphoria made him feel like he was floating on a cloud. Then he blacked out.


Ugh, my aching head. What happened?

Snips slowly opened his eyes and blinked as morning sunlight filtered through the bedroom window.

Morning already? Boy, I had the craziest dream- He was interrupted as he felt something nuzzling against his chest. He averted his eyes and begged Celestia that it wasn't what he thought it was. More specifically that it wasn't who he thought it was.

Finally he worked up the courage to slowly lower his gaze. Sure enough, she was right there. One holey hoof reached around his body while she snuggled happily against him. She looked comfortable and oddly satisfied. The thought made something click in his head. Ohhhh no. No, no, no, NO!

Without warning his leaped to his hooves, forcing the changeling to roll off of him as he scrambled off of the bed. With a loud thud he rolled off the side of the bed and landed on the floor. The collision knocked the breath out of him and he was forced to lie on his back and groan as he regained his breath. While he did, his strange house guest popped her head over the side of the bed and stared at him as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She yawned and happily chirped, "Good morning! What're you doing down there?"

Snips managed to wheeze, "What... did... you... do?"

She cocked her head quizzically and her smile slipped into a confused frown. "You gave me the key, so I came in and fell asleep. I was really tired, so I guess I must have slept all night. It must have done the trick because I feel amazing right now!" Her smile returned, as if nothing could spoil her good mood. Unfortunately, Snips did not share that sentiment.

He unsteadily rose to his hooves and glared at the changeling. "When I came in, you attacked me! You pinned me to the ground!"

She gasped and quickly covered her mouth with her hooves. She sputtered, "I-I couldn't have! No, there's no way I would do that!"

Snips was not swayed by her reaction. "Yes, you did! And then you... and then you... KISSED me! Next thing I know, I black out and wake up to you sleeping right next to me! WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON!"

Here eyes widened as she realized exactly what happened. She squeaked, "I-I'm sorry. I-I thought I could hold it for at least a couple days. I didn't know it had been so long. M-my body must have sensed food and just reacted on its own."

Snips froze. "What do you mean by 'food?'"

She blushed slightly. "Changelings eat love and other strong emotions. In the hive we get rations of it in crystallized form, but the gatherers all say that getting it fresh from the source was way more intense. I-I didn't expect it to be like that..." She trailed off as she mused about her situation. Noticing that she had spaced out, she immediately snapped back and blurted, "I'm so sorry! It's just... well," she fidgeted with her hooves, "nevermind."

Snips didn't even hear the latter half of her explanation. He was too fixated on the first part. "Hold on! I don't love you. How could you feed on something I wasn't feeling?"

A flicker of disappointment was quickly replaced by a visage of curiosity. "I'm afraid I don't remember what happened. Do you know what it was that you were feeling exactly?"

"Scared, worried, and confused. I thought you were hurt or sick or something, and I didn't know what to do."

She nodded and replied, "Well, concern is a kind of love. In a way."

Snips had managed to calm down. He quickly surveyed his body and found that he was completely whole. Not a hair out of place. He sighed and grumbled, "Come on. You may have already had breakfast, but I'm starving and I need to do something about this headache."

He reached the door, but once again paused and turned to look at the changeling. He watched as she buzzed on her insect wings and alighted gracefully on the floor. He gulped and asked, "Um, please tell me we didn't... you know..." He blushed as he stood on his hind legs and bumped his front hooves together twice before returning to all fours.

Surprisingly, a changeling can blush as well. She turned absolutely crimson as she caught his innuendo. "No! I'm absolutely positive that we didn't do that!

Snips heaved a sigh of relief and continued out of the bedroom. He trudged into the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee. Looking into the fridge, he realized that he was dangerously out of, well, everything. A brief glance in the pantry confirmed that fact that he was completely out of food. Great. Looks like it's a cup-a-joe and air sandwich kind of morning.

As he bustled around the kitchen, he noticed the changeling standing at the doorway staring morosely at the floor. She clearly felt terrible about what had happened. On the one hoof, she was starving, and he couldn't blame a starving pony (or changeling) for doing something desperate to stay alive. On the other hoof, she really could have hurt him. On top of that, she shouldn't have been able to feed off of him in the first place. He already had feelings for Sweet Roll! At least, he thought he did.

His better nature won out, and with a sigh he said, "Look, I'm not mad. You were just doing what you had to do, and nopony got hurt. So you don't have to look so beat up about it."

She perked up slightly. "You mean it?"

He couldn't help but let a small smile slip in. "Yeah, I mean it."

She beamed and her insectoid wings buzzed excitedly. "Thank goodness! It would be really awkward for me to be your apprentice if you were mad at me."

Snips flinched. He had completely forgotten about their little arrangement. Now that he thought of it, they hadn't done any of the necessary paperwork. She wasn't really his apprentice. Tartarus, he thought she was a guy when he agreed to it! "Um, look here..." He paused as a realized a fundamental problem, "You know, I don't even know what your real name is. I don't want to call you Gold since your aren't really a stallion, but that's the only name I've heard you give."

She continued to smile, "I'm Teaching Drone 93, but my closer acquaintances called me T.D. 93."

Snips blinked. "Your name is a number?"

"Mhm!"

"That's not going to work."

She shrugged, "It's the only name I've got."

"Well we need to change that. Hmmm. T.D., huh? How about Tear Drops?"

"That makes me sound like a crybaby!"

"Tranquil Diamond?"

"Sounds like an old mare's name."

"Thunder Dunk?"

"You know I'm female, right?"

The pair continued like this for nearly half an hour. Eventually the pair ended up sitting on the couch sipping coffee. Snips kept suggesting different names and she continued to shoot them down. He had nearly exhausted every combination of words he could think of using the initials T.D. Finally he threw his hooves into the air and declared, "I give up! I can't think of anything!"

She took another sip of her coffee and grimaced. Even with cream and sugar she had never tasted anything so bitter, and yet she enjoyed it. "It's okay. We'll think of one eventually," she hopped off the couch and was immediately consumed in a flash of emerald fire. She transformed into the same paisley pink pegasus as she had the day before. "In the meantime, I'll go by Summer Rains," she erupted into flames once more and emerged as a brown stallion, "or as Gold Rush." With a final burst of flame, she returned to her normal changeling form.

Snips still wasn't used to her effortless transformations. It was a bit unnerving. "Um, isn't it, you know, awkward to change gender like that?"

She looked at the floor and muttered, "Yeah."

"Don't you think that maybe you should find someone else to apprentice under? Maybe a stylist or a manedresser who specializes in mares? You'd just be out of place the whole time in a barbershop."

She continued to stare at the floor, her expression strangely blank. "Are you trying to get rid of me? You don't have to drop hints or anything. If you want me out, then just say it."

His life would be a whole lot easier if he just asked her to leave, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even after all the complications, he couldn't throw a mare out into the streets without a job or a place to go. It just didn't feel right. "I didn't say that. I just want you to be comfortable. I don't want you to be stuck working somewhere you don't like." He took a deep breath and continued, "You see, my barbershop is a sacred place for the stallions in this town. It's one of the few places that they can go to talk about their lives without being judged or laughed at. Sometimes I even get some guys who go in just because they want to talk to each other away from the wife and foals."

She was taken aback. "That's pretty deep. I didn't know the place meant so much to you." She hung her head in defeat. "Okay, do you have any suggestions? Somewhere I can go?"

Snips pondered this dilemma. "I know just the place," His stomach growled angrily, "but first I need to get something to eat."


Snips and the now disguised Summer Rains walked through the market enjoying the warmth of the morning sun washing over them. Or at least she did. Snips was more preoccupied with his lack of breakfast. He browsed through some of his favorite places, debating on where to eat. Despite his intense hunger, nothing sounded satisfying. The pair of them continued to wander around until he realized that he was subconsciously being led to Sweet Roll's bakery stall.

I can't let her see me with another mare! She might take it the wrong way and then I'll never get another chance!

Snips rounded on Summer and pleaded, "Please, can you just stay here for a second?" He indicated a bench. "Just sit tight for a minute while I get something to eat."

The disguised changeling tilted her head in confusion, but nodded and fluttered onto the bench as directed. Something about his request seemed odd to her, but she wasn't in a position to argue.

Snips left her behind and made his way to Sweet Roll's stall, nervously glancing over his shoulders. Distracted as he was, he actually ran right into the stall. Whether by bad luck or some sick cosmic joke he hit with just enough force to lodge his horn right into a knothole in one of the flat planks. He tried to pull away, but it was stuck fast into the wood. Grunting, he braced both front hooves against the offending plank and pulled with all his might. Unfortunately, the structure held fast and he was still just as stuck as he was before. Then he heard a voice that made his heart freeze in his chest.

"Hey, y'all alright there, sugar?" Sweet Roll, who had been previously tending to her bread, noticed the commotion and came to investigate. "Snips? What happened?"

Accepting his humiliating position, Snips grinned sheepishly. "H-hi Sweet Roll. I'm just hanging out."

The mare trotted closer and inspected his predicament. Her face was mere inches from his own as she examined his horn stuck deep into the wooden plank. "Just give me a sec, sugar. I got just the thing." She galloped to the other side of the stall and returned with a small tub of butter. Popping the lid open, she scooped out a hoof full and started to rub it around the infected area. She finished and declared, "That should make you nice and slippery."

Snips pulled once again, but even lubed up with butter he couldn't escape. Sweet Roll sighed, "No good, huh? Guess we can try Plan B."

Before he could ask what Plan B was, she wrapped herself around his barrel and started pulling for all she was worth. Snips's normally blue coat flashed crimson as he felt the mare of his dreams so close to him. It took him a few seconds before he even considered pulling with her. With a final heave, his horn came loose with a sound like a pop from a cork. The two ponies fell over and sprawled into the dirt.

Snips found himself on top of her, muzzle to muzzle. Some of the butter from his horn had dripped down onto her face, leaving yellow droplets on her chocolate colored coat. Snips pushed himself up and gazed down at the mare. She blushed violently and averted her gaze, embarrassed about her compromising position. Snips quickly realized what they must have looked like.

He quickly rolled off of the mare and scrambled to his hooves. With a rushed apology, he took off like a bullet, leaving her still sprawled in the dust. Hunger completely forgotten and tears streaming down his face, he ran as fast as his legs would take him.

Little did he know, Summer saw the whole thing from her cloud. What? Benches aren't very comfortable! She took to the air and followed him all the way back to the apartment where he slammed the door shut and locked it. Fortunately, he never asked her to give back the key. She unlocked the door and let herself in.

She found him in the shower. Even though it went against pony etiquette, she pulled aside the curtain to see him reduced to a pitiful state. Tears and water streamed down his face, washing the globs of butter down the drain. He didn't even notice her.

Snips didn't even feel the water as it struck his body, or the cold porcelain against his haunches and flank. He didn't see or hear anything as his mind stripped away his senses and forced him to replay that terrible scene over and over. It wasn't shame or embarrassment that bothered him. His foalhood adventures had made him immune to those emotions. No, he was depressed and disappointed. He had made a fool of himself in front of the mare that was very special to him. He could have managed to live with that, but then he embarrassed her and in public no less! That was inexcusable. But most importantly, he hated himself because he ran away. He should have stayed. He should have at least helped her up. But no. He ran away.

He wanted to punch something. He wanted some way to vent his anger out on the world around him, but he wasn't a violent stallion. Instead he just bottled it all in. And then he felt a gentle pressure against his back. He snapped out of his reverie and saw Summer sitting behind him, back into her changeling form, pulling him into a hug. This time he didn't fight it. He let her hold him. Not matter how awkward it was, he was just glad to have someone there.

Comments ( 2 )

Awwww... Snips, get up!

Cute.... Great job!

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