How to Prevent the Apocalypse -- A Journalist's Tale

by Door Matt

Prologue - Pillow Talk

As gentle waves fell one after another onto a sunburnt shore, two ponies in a nearby home gradually came up for air from their mattressy fortress. It was 11pm on a fine Tuesday morning, and the week to end all weeks had begun.

---

"Hmmm....five."

"Five!? You're kidding!"

"Nope."

"But...but...five?"

"Yeah, wasn't as good as last time."

"Wow. Okay. I'm lying right here y'know."

"Psshh...hahahaha!"

"Laughing? Really?"

"Heeee....sorry. You're cute."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Clearly not."

"You are!"

"I told you before. Journalists can't be cute."

"They can in your case. And didn't you say you were a reporter?"

"Same thing."

"Mmm..."

...

...

...

"Oh by the way, was it you who wrote that piece on the mayor?"

"Nah, that was Brian."

"Oh."

"He got an award for it too. No idea how he heard about the sheep to begin with."

"Is that his real name?"

"Eh?"

"Brian."

"Yeah...?"

"Never heard a pony called that before."

"Yeah...it's his name. He's always been called that."

"Weird name though...don't you think?"

"Weird name for a weird pony I guess."

"He's weird?"

"Uh...not exactly...he's different...best way to describe him really..."

"Different?"

"Well...he keeps talking about his pet gerbils at work..."

"So?"

"No I mean like...all the time...seriously. All the time."

"So he likes gerbils. I love gerbils! My cousin had one years ago. They're spunky."

"Don't ask me to buy you a gerbil."

"I won't, don't worry. You can get me a cat though."

"Ha! Not on your nelly."

"Aww..."

"Dogs are better anyway."

"Mmkay."

...

...

"What's the time?"

"I 'unno. Why?"

"Shops might still be open. Thinking of heading out for abit."

"Oorrrr...you could just stay here..."

"Ahh! Your hoof's cold!"

...

...

"Such a wimp..."

"Hey!"

"Hehehe..."

...

...

"You like bananas right?"

"Huh?"

"Do you like bananas?"

"Kinda. I prefer pears I guess. Why?"

"You need more fruit. I looked in your kitchen earlier. Barely got any."

"You went through my kitchen?"

"What? I was curious."

"Uhh..."

"Your diet must be terrible."

"I'll eat what I want thanks. You're not my dietician."

"Might get some...wait...those are real? Ponies do that for a living?"

"Some do, yeah."

"Huh..."

"You think your job is better?"

"I know mine is better. One hundred percent"

"Really?"

"Mmm! Don't forget I get to uncover all the dirty secrets in this town."

"Okay, never do that again."

"Do what?"

"You winked as you said that. Never again. Especially not with me."

...

"And like this town has any dirty secrets. Real ones."

"Apart from the sheep thing?"

"Okay...apart from the sheep thing, yeah. A one-off I guess."

"Someone isn't looking in the right places..."

"And you are?"

"Maybe..."

"You're winking again."

"Oh crap...sorry..."

...

"Ow!"

"That'll happen every time you forget something I say."

"That's abuse that is. Just cause you're a mare and I'm a stallion doesn't make that okay you know."

"I didn't hit you any lower did I?"

...

...

"Good point."

"I thought so."

...

...

...

"What's the big deal with 'dirty secrets' anyway? The Hayward Chronicle can survive on

normal stories surely?"

"Yeah...but...it gets so boring after a while. The same old stories week in, week out. It's so tedious it is writing those. I tried to liven up the wording once and my boss gave me an earful."

...

...

"Sometimes having things stay the same isn't all bad you know."

"Hmm?"

"You said just now about the same old stories. At least that means nothing bad has happened. Everypony's going about happy and busy with their lives."

"Mmm...maybe. Not a lot of adventure in that though..."

...

...

...

"Hoo...right that's it. I'm going into town and I'm getting you some fruit. And toilet paper. You're out of that too."

"Aww.....wait, wait a minute. You're not going to the pub are you?"

...

...

"Well I wasn't going to til you put the idea into my head."

"Oh...oopsies?"

"Heh. Nah...just the shops I swear. Far too early to drink anyway."

"Not in my book."

"Well, your 'book' is a bad influence to fillies and that's why no-one would read it. It would be banned throughout Equestria."

"Psshh."

"Where's my tie?"

"Uhh...under the bed?"

"Ah...oh yeah...got it. You staying here then?"

"Uh huh. But if you end up at that pub and I have to go get you, you'll regret it!"

"No chance!"

"Ach! Hey! Don't throw pillows at me!"

"That was for saying five! See you later!"

"Bye!"

...

...

...

"Tch...moron..."

"I heard that!"

Author's Note:

Once again...don't panic. The rest of the story won't be entirely speech-based. Just liked the idea of a prologue being like it.
I thought how best to create an original story and naturally the answer was to have totally new characters and even a new location. No Canterlot or Mane Six in sight here (yet). Time-wise isn't important at the moment but let's for now say this is set between seasons 2 and 3.

The +1000 words thing surprised me at first; this was actually a lot shorter when I first tried to publish it so hopefully it doesn't feel too stretched out.

I figure I'll let the prologue sit and stew for a few days and then publish the first chapter proper.

Hope you enjoy!