Chapter 7: Welcome To The Internet
"Hmm... internet, internet, internet… Where should I go to next?" I sang staring at the blank Google page on my monitor, balancing myself on my left arm. I managed to gain access to the computer with permission from my mom under the pretext that I was finding something, which something? I don't know, maybe it's the newest gaming post on Kotaku, the latest tech news from Gizmodo or the newest fan fiction on FiMFiction. There isn't a fixed definition for this 'something', so one day this 'something' could be watching the latest FAIL compilation video to looking at YouTube gamers sucking at the game they're playing the next. However, today I'm stuck at the Google page unable to think of someplace to go to.
"Dixon? What are you doing?" Luna asked from behind me.
"What does it looks like I'm doing?" I grunted, turning my attention to her.
"Well it seems that you're staring at that white window of yours with the word, Goooogle? I suppose?" She said trying to pronounce what she saw on the screen. "Pray tell, what does it mean?"
"Why are you here anyway?" I asked, not before realizing that it was a very stupid question. My room is the only place where Luna could walk around freely without having the risk of getting discovered. I was actually trying to change the subject here.
"I wish to play the 'Grand Theft Auto V' you had showed me yesterday."
"Well we can't Princess," I replied, her reaction was a look of disappointment that no one in their right mind could argue with. "Hey! It's not that I don't want you to! It's because my mom's here and I need to get her permission, and I think she’d say no… since I'm already using the computer."
"And even if she does give me permission to play." I continued. "I can't run the risk of letting you getting discovered."
"Oh...."
"Well..." I rubbed my chin, stroking a non-existent beard. Then a light bulb lit up inside my mind.
"Tell you what." I said. "Just to please you, I shall allow you access into the Information Gold Mine!"
Her ears perked up and she asked. "You have a gold mine?"
"Not literally, I was actually referring to the Internet.” I explained pointing to the monitor. “It is a worldwide network that connects every computer like mine to others, sort of like a web."
Luna then put one hoof to her chin while looking at one corner of her eye, thinking about what I'd just said and maybe trying to visualize a mental image of multiple black boxes conjoined together via a very large spider web.
"Hello? Heeello?" I asked as I waved my hand in front of her, trying to get her attention. I then proceed to snap my fingers in front of her, breaking her train of thoughts.
"Oh, sorry!" She said, "Now, would you show me this...gold mine you speak of?"
"As you wish so my princess." I dug into my wardrobe as I said that. I have been saving this for a while and now is the time to use it! I took out a T-shirt with the most random image you can find on the Internet.
"Now..." I said as I put on the shirt over my other shirt.
"Welcome to the Internet, my dear…” I said, growing a toothy smile. “I shall be your guide."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It took some time for Luna to get used with the keyboard, especially since I found out that some of the letters in their alphabets are mirrored like some of the Russian script. But it doesn't takes a genius (or an Alicorn princess in this case) to understand it/
"Now, before entering the Internet, there are some things I have you warn you about." I warned. "There is a lot of content there, both good and bad. Some are appropriate while some are...well... inappropriate. In such case, I will warn you if you're about to go to such places. You got that?"
"I guess so."
"We shall start here, Google. Google is a search engine which will help you find what you are looking for like an animal, book or movie." I explained, "To visualise this much easier, think of the LARGEST library you can think of-."
"The Royal Archive in the castle is the largest library in all of Equestria." Luna interrupted.
"Make it a hundred times larger then. Now," I continued. "One day, you wish to find something but you can't possibly go through everything just to find it! What you'll need is someone who knows the library like the back of his hand or hoof to find it for you. This someone is Google."
"What are you supposed to do here?"
"You see this?" I pointed to the mouse on the mouse pad. "You use it to click on the blue rectangle." I said as I showed her the how to use the mouse and scroll.
"What do you want to type in here?"
"Hmm... How about you?"
"I don't think I'm that famous to be featured on the Internet, yet." I said. "Why don't we try ‘Earth’?"
"You mean the dirt beneath our hooves? I don't see anything interesting about it."
"I mean this planet. It's called Earth, didn't I tell you that last night?" I explained as I typed Earth into the search bar. "Yeah, I know. Not the best name for a planet which is covered in 70% water. A more suitable name would have been Water or Aqua. Even if they have to give it a name related to earth, at least they should have called it Terra or Gaia. That sounded way cooler than plain old Earth."
When Luna clicked on the 'Google Search' button after I've typed in Earth, about 361,000,000 results showed up in 0.35 seconds. (Hey, it was shown right there above the first result mind you) The images of the Blue Marble quickly caught the interest of Princess Luna.
"So this is the planet you speak of? It looks very similar to my world."
"All habitable planets have to be similar in one way or another, the universe has ways of doing everything. It could change depending on the chemicals and elements compositions in one of the three factors needed for life to substain, air, food and water. The planet must also be in the Goldilocks zone and..." I turned my head to Luna to which she was staring at me as if I was an alien from another dimension (Actually, I am to her.) Whoops.
"I guess I got carried away for a while" I said, scratching my head. "Let's get back to the topic shall we? Okay! Earth, the third planet from the Sun, it is the densest and fifth-largest of the eight planets in the Solar System. It is also the largest of the Solar System's four terrestrial planets-"
"Terrestrial planets?"
"It means planets which are made of rocks or anything as long as you can stand on it. There is also gas giants which are planets made of nothing but gas. You can't stand on it." I explained. " It's only natural satellite is The Moon- God, why are we naming the moons of other planet cool names like Titan or Phobos while we give our own moon the boring name, Moon?"
"I do have to admit, that is a sort of a bland name for your moon." Luna agreed. I was about to tell her about some alternate names which humans in the past has called the Moon before but when I remembered that one of those names was Luna, I ultimately thought against it.
"Speaking of the moon. Did you know that we humans had put a man to there about 50 years ago?" I said, to which Princess Luna arched a lone brow in reaction.
"Really?" she asked through clenched teeth, "I see that your legal system isn't that different from Equestrian then. My sister performed a similar feat one thousand years ago. Tell me, what crime did that poor soul commit?"
"Crime? No!" I raised an eyebrow at her. "He went to the Moon knowingly!"
"You went to the Moon...by choice?" Luna questioned.
"Yup, it was a fierce race back then."
"A… race?"
"The Space Race, 50 years ago our country was in a heated race against another country to be the first to go beyond the skies and into the stars." I began to explain. "Initially, the other country gained a lead by sending the first satellite into space, the first dog into space and the first human into space. But that wasn't enough, the ultimate feat was to be the first to reach the Moon and both sides wanted to be the first."
"Who won?"
"I guess we did. Even though they got all these achievements first, our country managed to send the first man to the moon and back in a rocket. It was one of America's finest moments." I said proudly, standing in a victorious pose.(Gosh, if there's an American flag waving behind me as a backdrop with explosions, it would have 'MURICA written all over it)
"You have achieved spaceflight? But I thought they were purely just science fiction!"
"The idea of spaceflight to us is also a science fiction a few hundred years ago. But it became real!"
"Interesting." She remarked.
I continued showing her all the planets in the Solar System... well every planet except for one, for very obvious reasons.
"Next stop, YouTube!" I said as I typed in the URL to YouTube, the universal Hub for wasted time, cat videos, movie trailers and other good stuff. I was about to press Enter when she cried out
"Dixon! You forgot about that planet!" She said, pointing at Uranus.
"Oh! Umm...That! Well..." I pretended to be surprised. "That planet is...is...um... *cough*Uranus."
"Pardon?"
"That planet's name is... *louder cough*Uranus."
"You sounded like you were saying the name of that particular planet but I can't understand you with your coughing."
"Fine! That planet's name is Uranus! There! Happy now?" I replied, slightly annoyed.
"Excuse me?" Luna said, slightly ticked off.
"Uranus, that's the planet's name."
"Please speak clearly Dixon, I keep hearing as if that planet is named after someponies' posterior!" She said, cupping one of her ears with her hoof as if trying to listen more clearly.
"That's the name of the planet, I kid you not. It's actually named Uranus."
"Who would name a planet after their posterior?" Luna said, ticked off by what she just heard.
"It was suppose to be named after the god of an ancient civilization, Ouranos. Somehow it got corrupted into Uranus. I knew as common sense that it is supposed to be pronounced as U-rain-us but immature minds hear it as Your-anus."
"It's an unfortunate name for a planet."
"Agreed. Now I'm sure you don't want to know more about a planet that's named after someone's posterior wouldn't you?" She nodded. "If so, then we shall continue to our next destination."
YouTube, the name says it all.(Well not really). Cat videos, SFX shorts, bad music like 'Friday' and 'Chinese Food'.(Those two are a disgrace to the music industry.)I just have to make sure she doesn't stray too far from this side of YouTube and accidentally go into the weird side of Gmod videos by the Caesar of Craziness, AKA RubberFruit and those Smexual TF2 videos. Jesus, I'm ashamed of myself for laughing at mentally_defective_sniper_on_serious_cocaine_addictions.piss.mp4.ogg and psychically_unstable_merasmus_and_his_wacky_roommates.cornflakes.
"What is this? This is different from what we have saw just now."
"All I can say is this, welcome to the world's largest collection of cat videos and other stuff. Please keep to the rules and do not wander off." I said as I click on the search bar.
"So what kind of video does the Moon Princess wants to see?"
"Videos… as in movies?" She questioned. "If so, I don't see a projector of sort. Nor do I see rolls of film nearby."
"To explain this to you in a simpler term, all videos and movies are contained in a very large box far far away. If someone wants to watch something, the magical magic of the Internet will bring what the person wants to watch and fly to him or her and voila!" Not really the best way to describe YouTube, I know. But that's all I can think of.
"Does this...YouTube...contains videos about...your kind?"
"Lots of 'em."
"Videos about your history?"
"A lot."
"Videos about cats?"
"Millions of 'em, what?" I questioned, "You want to watch those?"
"Oh no!" Luna exclaimed. "I was just questioning about this...this..."
"Webpage, or website."
"Right, website." She continued. "I have no desire to watch any videos about felines. I was just asking."
"So what do you want to watch?" I asked, for the second time.
"Do you have any preference?" She asked.
"Well, I watch Smosh, Vsauce, FreddieW and some others too." I listed out the channels which I'm subscribed to as I said. "Maybe I can show you something..." I said as I typed in 'Smosh' into the search bar.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-"Thanks for subscribing!"
"I have to know what your powers are too!"
"What are you doing?! What are you doing?! NO! NO! AAGH!"
"Sweet! I got the ability to shoot milk out of my nipples!"
After watching 'I HAVE KIRBY POWERS!' Luna just sat there jaw dropped, wide eyed and staring at the screen confused. That would probably one's reaction to Smosh if they have yet to understand the Internet.
"W-what in Celestia did I just see!" she stuttered.
"One of the world's most famous duos on YouTube." I chuckled.
"You humans have a strange way of entertainment. First, you find fun in senseless murder. Next, you find humor in videos with multiple puns and jokes who I do not find funny."
"Awww Come on!" I said. "Don't be such a party-pooper!"
"A party-what?"
"It's a term for someone who..." I explained letting out a deep sigh. (Hold on, the more I think about it, part pooper doesn't exactly fit the term here. A more suitable word is umm...err...wet blanket? No...Hmm, I forgot.)
"Wanna watch another one?" I asked awkwardly.
"Sure!" She replied enthusiastically. "I mean, yes."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
We watched a few more videos together, some were really weird and some very insulting to me (Dixon Cider. Seriously, what dafuq did I just watch! In fact, it was so bad that I quit the video after the first minute. WHY DID I EVEN CLICK ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?) We were about to click on another video when the doorbell rang.
DING DONG!
"WHAT WAS THAT!" Luna jumped. I can't blame her actually, my dad screwed up trying to fix the broken doorbell a few years ago. He did succeed in doing so, but not before making the doorbell louder than an air horn blowing into a megaphone.
"It's a doorbell," I replied. "It means that someone is at the door, waiting to be answered."
"I see...Are you going to answer that?" She asked.
"Nah, my mom will answer it." I replied. "Most likely some door-to-door salesmen, or lost pizza guys."
"What are pizzas?" She asked. I turned my head around to face her like one of those horror movie cliché where a doll will turn its head without moving it's body that is accompanied by creaking sounds. She have never heard of pizza? IMPOSSIBLE! Next to bacon, pizza is the most awesome food in the history of mankind! (Combine the two together and it'll be a match made in heaven) I made a mental note to myself to order pizza one day for her to try.
I was about to open my mouth to speak when my mom called from downstairs,
"Dixon! Answer the door for me please? I'm a little busy here!"
"So... Are you going to answer that?"
"Do I have a choice?" I sighed as I got up from the chair. Before leaving the room, I turned around and warned "While I'm away, do not. I repeat, DO NOT click on anything else. Got that?"
DING DONG!
"Dixon! Answer the door would you?"
"Yes, yes. I'm coming downstairs." I said as I exited the room
DING DONG!
"I'm coming already! Jeez." I said as I went down the stairs
DING DONG!
"I said I'm coming already!" I said as I grabbed the doorknob.
"Who is this? This better be-"
I opened the door to see two men, one in his mid-forties with grey hair, plaid blue shirt, white trousers and black belt. The other is in his early twenties in a red jacket and jeans. Both of them were each carrying a book which I couldn't see the cover of. But even then, I knew what was going on.
"Hello there!" The older man greeted in a British accent. The younger man held up his book, titled 'The Watchtower," and said something that I've always dreaded to hear since the dawn of time. (Or since I've seen them like a MILLION times already)
"Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior-"
"No."
SLAM! (Oh silly Jehovah’s Witnesses… I’m not usually that rude to them, but you're interrupting me right now.)
"Who was it Dixon?" My mom asked.
"Just some people who were lost." I lied.
"Oh, alright then."
"I'll be returning to my room." I said as I climbed up the stairs, hoping that Luna didn't go and explore the Internet without my guidance.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, so maybe it could have been much worse. I found Luna staring at the Google Image Search page of her. Yes, she actually went and Googled herself on the Internet without my permission! Luckily, (AND OH THANK GOD LUCKILY!) SafeSearch was on and it was all just vectors of her. Phew! I wiped the cold sweat off my forehead. But I reckon that I was in for some explaining to do. If not, a LOT of explaining to do, I mean, things could get really messy!(Read that in Trevor's voice)
"HOW?!" She exclaimed. "How does your kind have knowledge of my existence?! Does your kind have some kind of crystal ball that can see us?"
I almost burst out laughing right there, I didn't expect her to think that we have some kind of crystal ball that could see into their world. (Actually, if the television counts, then yes maybe)
"Actually... It's not like that..." I started to explain. By the time I finished, Luna was staring at me blankly, mouth wide, open eyes. Okay, now that I think of it, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell her this. After all, it pretty much showed her that she was the product of someone’s imagination and...well. Things could get ugly.
"So...I...I...am a figment of someone else's imagination?"
"I'm afraid so." I shrugged my shoulders.
She stood there for a while, staring into the air with a blank expression on her face before backing away from the computer slowly.
"Umm...Princess? Are you alright?" I asked.
Suddenly Luna fell onto my bed and started to cry uncontrollably. Now I knew it wasn’t a good idea to watch the show with Luna. I might have underestimated how devastated she would be, and just a few hours ago I told her that something from the T.V. couldn’t be real, that’s what probably ran through her mind.
“Impossible…” she said between sobs, “You're lying...you're lying!”
"Luna please…” I said, trying to console her, “It's alright...please-”
"“HOW?!" She cried, "How can it be alright when I'm nothing but just a figment of your imagination!"
"I...I don't know..."
"Dixon? Are you alright?" My mom asked from the stairs, "I could have sworn that I heard you crying. Are you okay?"
Then I heard footsteps and the creaking of the stairs which means she coming up!
"Quick! Hide!" I exclaimed as Luna immediately jumped out of my bed and hid underneath it as she doesn't have enough time to change her form. And in nick of time! My mother entered the room immediately after Luna disappeared under the bed.
"Dixon, are you feeling alright?" My mother asked, "I thought I'd heard you crying."
"Nah, it's nothing. Just watching a video on YouTube where the character is crying."
"Oh okay then, but Dixon," My mother said. "If you ever need someone to talk to you, you can always look for me understand?"
I nodded my head and my mother went out of the room and closed the door behind her. Phew, that was a close call. Luna climbed out from under the bed, her eyes still red and puffy from crying. She was still upset about the fact that she was a figment of someone else's imagination.
"Luna, I...Is there anything I can do for you?"
"No..." She said, looking away from me.
"Look here." I said, putting both hands on her shoulders, making her face me. "Don't worry, I'm here for you if you ever need me." I said, to which she gave a small smile.
"What do clouds wear underneath their clothes?" I randomly said.
"Why do clouds need to wear clothing for?-"
"Thunderwear!" I said.
At first, she looked at me with a look that says "I don't get it". I was about to slap myself in the face for using that joke. But a few seconds later, she realized the meaning in the name and began to giggle. I smiled in relief, I managed to take her mind off what was bothering her for the last few minutes.
"Well, let's get back to the Internet." I smiled, spinning the chair around to face the computer. "There's a lot of funny things I have yet to show you."
And so our adventure into the internet continued for the rest of the day until dinnertime, spaghetti with tomato sauce and mushrooms! My favourite!
I was stuck between either making this chapter about showing Luna the Internet or showing Luna the Solar System. Then a little birdy suggested why not both?
Mein Gott, this is the longest chapter ever!
For the love of god, unless you like having nothing else better to do, DO NOT WATCH THOSE TWO VIDEOS I'VE MENTIONED!
Grab your girl and have some Dixon Cider
And show her love with your Dixon Cider 
And fill her full with lots of Dixon Cider
In her mouth hole flowing down inside her. 
Then grab her grandma get some Dixon Cider; 
Too old to handle all the Dixon Cider 
And show her family your Dixon Cider
In her mouth hole flowing down inside her. xOVER9000
“Excuse me lad, do ye ’appen to ’ave a moment to talk about tha laird Jesus Christ?”
Dixon: “NO! F
THAT! GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON’T WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR STUPID RELIGIONS!!”
"Tis a shame lad, and here i thought we could be such nice non-protestants, when will ye heathens e’er learn?”
(If Jehovah's Witness were like that in real life, we'll all be screwed)
Uh oh, Luna found out about herself!
THANK GOD FOR GOOGLE SAFESEARCH!
Special Thanks goes to the members of the Writer's Group and Flanaganisking for helping out! (Seriously, go check him out.)
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
1,030 users online
1,384,098 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
ThankLuna safesearch was on.
Getting better, keep it up... I see the potential for greatness in you.
Yeahhh... I keep safe search off... on a Windows Phone... with *shudders* bing.
3149308
Not me. I talk to the Robots.
Let Luna get to learn all the names of the moons in the solar system!
Nice for her to see her "Brothers and sisters"
Like Mimas AKA the Death Star moon. the poor moon almost been teared apart by a large asteroid or meteor
3589070
Technically it is "Mimas"
But thanks anyways
Funfact: search up Elliot goes to school
and you will understand the references
Seriously not amused by the reaction to the Jehovah's Witnesses. Bashing religion to make yourself look cool is not okay. And all the obscene references aren't cool either (referring mostly to the author's note).
3589948 Everyone hates Jehovah Witnesses, no one has the time to 'talk about our lord and savior'
3589898 are you referring to the previous chapter? Cause I did not put any Elliot goes to school reference in this chapter.(maybe I did, but didn't really meant to)
3591006 Gold mine of information season 4 episode 3 of my little pony, oh gimme that cookie.
3591688 I haven't watch that episode yet so I do not understand. But whatever, a cookie is a cookie upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9a/Choco_chip_cookie.jpg here ya go.
3591973 Yay, I must savor it!
3612946 Duo means two, or a pair. PewDiePie is a one man YouTuber. So its still correct.
Look I know I'm Little late reading this but please please can I have a cookie oh yea and good job writing and stuff....cookie?
Saw the two videos I was LMfao but at the same time my mind kept telling me wtf is that
I'll have you know, they have a website called JW.org so they aren't that silly. They have a film room a football field in size