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Ch 1: Dreams8,526 words
Ch 2: surprise visit of doom10,644 words
Ch 3: Celestia’s quest for the bottle of infinite aspirin11,266 words
Ch. 4: Coffee morning of crusading4,818 words
Ch 5: The brunch of brunchness Part 1 : Rolling in the hay7,084 words
Ch. 6: The Brunch of brunchness part 2: Chit chating 6,236 words
Ch. 7 A.C.F.T Adorable creatures from Tartarus12,039 words
Chapter 8: A crusading we will go11,018 words
Ch 9: Show and Tell6,232 words

Ch. 7 A.C.F.T Adorable creatures from Tartarus

Dead silence. That was something the miss-matched god was not used to. Anger; Fear those where things he was used too but not silence. Never silence. Discord continued to stare down at the little fillies his cheeks hurting over holding his grin for over 5 minutes. he waited for them to do something, anything! They only stared back at him and his long slender body that coiled around the cloud they were on, the ladder having fell off over 2 minutes ago. His smile strained, this has never happened before usually kids ran at the sight of him or screamed. These 3 just stared up at him sure one was cowering but the other 2 just stared at him. Sweetie Belle only stared at the large beast; as she held onto Applebloom shivering as he towered over them. Applebloom held onto sweetie belle while standing defiant, Scootaloo just stood defiant against the beast. Yet he could see her shaking slightly. None of them talked, this was starting to get on his nerves. He cleared her throat and he leaned his long neck down, this made the fillies back off some more.

“Soo-
“He’s going to eat our souls!” Sweetie Belle screamed as she backed away pulling Applebloom with her. Applebloom protested but soon she felt her hoofs slipping. Discord cringed at her high-pitched scream; that was something he was used too sadly.
“Sweetie Belle will you let go?!” Applebloom yelled as she felt herself being pulled back and much to her dismay over the edge of the cloud. Applebloom quickly grabbed at the cloud sinking into the cloud. Scootaloo noticed this and dived for them much to the others dismay.
“NO! Wait!” Applebloom yelled waving a hoof at her but sadly it was too late. With a mighty flop the cloud burst sending the three fillies plummeting to the ground. They screamed holding each other only to land with a thud. They groaned laying on the ground, a chuckle from Discord made them look up.
“Are you alive down there? After all falling 3 feet can be lethal, if you’re an ant.” Discord said grinning as he summoned another cloud and plopping down on it. He rested his chin on his lions paw and watched them with a wide grin.

“P…plea…please get off me.” A little voice said straining to even talk. The two other fillies looked down at Sweetie Belle who the two were using as a cushion. They quickly jumped off of her, she took in much needed breath of air as Applebloom patted her back. Discord snickered only to have something waved in front of him, he looked down at the orange filly who was waving around a small stick. Where she got the stick was anyone’s guess.
“Hey! Stop laughing you jerk! Or else I’ll teach you a lesson!” she yelled as she continued her waving, Discord caught it in his eagle hand and snapped it in two with ease. He continued grinning at the shocked face of the filly.
“Hmmm such bravery and rudeness…you wouldn’t be dear Rainbow mashes kid would you?” he asked petting the little filly who seemed to be fuming.
“That’s Rainbow Dash! And no I’m her honorary sister you jerk! And stop touching me!” she yelled angrily swatting his paw away. He looked hurt giving her pouty lips before something clicked, he knew these fillies but from where? he quickly pulled his hand back when the orange filly tried to bite him for continuing to pet her.
“Scootaloo that’s very uncouth!” Sweetie Belle said standing up, her voice cracking a bit as she did so. This took Discord by surprise, He’s never had anyone stand up for him other than Fluttershy, the little voice in his head was starting to annoy him, he really knew these fillies but from where? Not to mention he mentally kicked himself for finding the crack in her voice unbearably cute.

“Oh here we go again! The dictionary saying words I don’t know!” Scootaloo yelled angrily, Discord blinked he felt a warm feeling start to bubble in his stomach. Soon the last filly started arguing about being nice and how this never solved anything. Soon the three started to fight, the feeling in Discords stomach grew and grew, he knew this feeling well. It was chaos beautiful sweet chaos. Then it clicked, the voices, the shouting, and the chaos!
“You!” Discord yelled loudly startling the three fillies, it didn’t help that he lunged at them tackling them to the ground. They screamed as they rolled around in the grass before Discord sprung to his feet floating in the air giving a hearty laugh as he held the three fillies.
“It’s you! You Three! HA!” he yelled happily as he gave another hard laugh as he started ruffling the fillies manes making them struggle against his lions paw.
“He’s eating us!” Sweetie Belle yelled as she struggled the hardest, when he didn’t let go she did the first thing that popped into her head, she bit down on the lions paw.
“Ahhhh! Cannibal!” Discord screamed out in pain as he let them go making Scootaloo and Applebloom land on the ground with a thud as Sweetie Belle clung to his lions paw, her teeth keeping her firmly in place.
“Let go!” Discord yelled as he started to shake his arm trying to shake the small filly lose, this only made her bite down harder. He continued to scream as he went to grab the filly’s leg making her scream as she finally let go.
“Ah! Bad touch!” she screamed making Discord eep as leaned down and covered her mouth.
“Shhh! Last thing I need is ponies thinking I’m a pervert! I am not Mr. Cake!” he yelled glaring at the filly making her stare up at him in fear.

Mr. Cake gave a mighty sneeze into the pile of flour in front of him spreading it everywhere.
“Oh dear. Darling are you ok?” a voice said making him turn and smile at the white mare.
“I am fine Rarity, I guess someone is talking about me.” He said with a chuckle as he cleaned his face of all the flower. The mare shrugged as she helped him clean up a few things, she bent down and started picking up a few things. Mr. Cake could not help but let his eyes wonder over to her rump, tilting his head slightly giving a grin as he stared.

“Now then! I can’t believe it’s you three!” Discord said happily as he squeezed Sweetie Belles cheeks.
“I need an adult.” Sweetie Belle said whining as he only squeezed harder.
“I am an adult.” He said grinning down at her, his frowned when he noticed the other two were not within eye sight.
“Hey where are the other two?” he asked as he turned his head only to have someone jump on his back.
“Take that yer varmint!” Applebloom yelled as she quickly started punching in the back of the head.
“Ow I guess Ow your Ow Applejacks sister Ow.” He said wincing each time the little filly punched him. Honestly it was more annoying than painful but the filly did have quite a hoof at such a young age, must run in the family.
“Get away from mah friend!” Applebloom yelled as she continued to punch him, he stood up tall making her epp as she rolled down his back. He flicked his tail making her land on its poofy end.
“Well that’s just rude. I try to be civil and you assault me not to mention insult! What would Applejack say!?” he said as his tail grabbed her leg and lifted her up.
“Hey put me down!” she yelled as her red mane fell onto her face, she gave it a blow trying to get it away from her face but it only fell back into place. He grinned at her before looking around.
“That’s 2 now where the third---
“I got it! I got it!” Scootaloo yelled making Discord turn around just in time to see her picking up a little brown sack. He tilted his head as she quickly raced up to him swinging the little sack as if it was a weapon of doom.
“Cutie Mark Crusader Drquimonz Hunters!” she yelled tossed said sack with all her might, the sack flew through the air only to lightly tap Discord on his snout before falling harmlessly to the ground. Discord stared at her raising an eyebrow as the filly looked dumbstruck. The other two just stared at her as well Sweetie Belle being the only one still trying to get away from Discords pinching hands.
“Uhhh do over!” Scootaloo yelled as she grabbed the sack again and started spinning it again. Discord looked on curious to what the sacks contents were, but one thing was sure. It smelled nice.

“Uhhh Do over!” Scootaloo yelled huffing as she grabbed the sack again making her audience groan.
“Oh come on! That’s the 20th time you failed!” Sweetie Belle yelled waving her hoofs around. Discord and Applebloom nodded as they looked on. Discord had gotten tired of pinching the cheeks of one filly and holding the other one upside down. He had decided to just sit on his rump and wait for whatever this filly had in store for him. But after ten minutes of waiting his patience was wearing thin. He sighed as the filly once again threw the sack at his face and once again it fell to the ground harmlessly. He rolled his eyes as he held the two fillies in his arms as if they were cats, though he stopped petting them when the white one kept yelling “bad touch”.
“Come on one more time! Besides you two should be helping me seal this guy away!” Scootaloo yelled only to cover her mouth letting something very important slip out. The other two facehoofed at her buck up, Discord raised an eyebrow at the comment, staring at the sack. It had his full attention now, what did they mean by seal him away?
“Uhhh forget I said—Hey! Give that back!” Scootaloo yelled as the sack was quickly snatched out of her hooves by Discords lighting fast talon.
“Ha! So that’s why you were so eager to find me!” Discord said grinning as he suddenly stood up dropping the other two fillies on the ground with a thud. He stared at the sack ignoring the protests of discomfort as he wrapped his tail around them.
“Ewwww! Get your butt away from us!” Scootaloo yelled struggling against his tail, he only flicked it making them yelp as they were shook.
“Quiet you! Now to figure out what this thing is.” Discord said with a grin as he opened the bag taking great care with whatever was inside, all he knew was that it could seal him away. He couldn’t let that--- it was herbs.
“….what?...why …Why do you have Dragons Blood!?” Discord asked in an annoyed tone as he lifted the three fillies up to eye level with him. Sweetie Belle only gasped loudly as she covered her mouth with her hooves.

“D..Dra…Dragons Blood!? Oh no! Did Zecora hurt spike!?” Sweetie Belle said worriedly as tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, Discord and the other crusaders just rolled their eyes at her. Discord looked at the sack again for a moment before pushing it against his snout inhaling the scent. The three fillies managed to wiggle out of his grip only to have him stare at them confused.
“Wait so you were trying to seal me away with incense? And yes it’s called Dragons Blood. It’s made from the bark of a tree.” Discord said taking another sniff he sighed happily for a moment before glaring down at the fillies making them eep. They only stared back at him as he started tapping his foot, Sweetie Belle only grew more nervous as he copied the look and pose that rarity did whenever she found out Sweetie Belle did something uncouth. It didn’t help that he was literally towering over them casting his shadow over them. The only thing he was missing was the designers glasses Rairty got at a flea market that one time.
“Well?” he asked tapping his foot some more as he continued to glare down at them, the three fillies looked at each other looking for a way to not anger the already mad god.
“Well uuhh we—
“We wanted to give you a gift!” Sweetie Belle yelled out loud making Discord cringe again at the high pitched tone. he cursed his good hearing at times.
“What? No we—oohf.” Scootaloo started to say something but was cut off by Applebloom and Sweetie Belle jabbing her on both sides of her ribs effectively silencing her, she gave them a glare as she rubbed her sides. Discord only stared them down much like a parent would when they caught a child in a fib.
“Y...yeah! We…wanted to give you gifts because—
“Uhhhh Princess Luna said to do it! She said it would be nice!” Sweetie Belle said forcing a smile at the mismatched creature. Discord only stared down her his brow rising slightly.

“You see she...told us to be nice to you because—
“Because Fluttershy said ya were behaving! So Luna told us to give ya something!” Applebloom said quickly sweating slightly.
“Then what was that about sealing me up?” Discord asked with a grin making the fillies look at him worried.
“Oh umm it was a prank! Yeah a prank! Scootaloo isn’t that good at playing pranks!” Sweetie Belle said matching Appleblooms’ sweatiness level. Her comment earned an angry “Hey!” from Scootaloo who crossed her hooves. Discord stared at them Scootaloo stopped her pouting and joined the other two in making a puddle of sweat on the ground. He leaned down staring down at Sweetie Belle with only a few inches between them. Discord closed his eyes slightly as he glared at them intensely, they stared back smiling nervously sweating slightly. His head suddenly shot up giving a loud happy “Ha!”
“Oh good ol Lulu!” Discord said loudly as he gave a loud hearty laugh startling the fillies as he swooped in and pulled them into a filly crushing hug.
“I knew she would be the only one ‘besides Fluttershy’ to be nice to me! Giving me gifts and passing on my legacy in my absence is just the frosting on top!” Discord said happily as he gave another loud hearty laugh before letting go of the three fillies smiling at the sack for a moment before putting it around his neck, his tail wagging happily behind him as he gave the sack another sniff.
“…Is your tail wagging?” Applebloom asked staring at him as Scootaloo snickered slightly while Sweetie Belle gave a little “Aww”. Discord quickly noticed this and coughed slightly as he grabbed his tail and held it much like another dragon the fillies knew does.
“No...Noo! I wasn’t---Shut up!” Discord yelled turning his head as he gave his tail a slight squeeze. The three fillies looked at him confused for a moment before Scootaloo coughed standing up quickly.

“Well glade you like the gift! But uhmmm right now we are having an emergency crusader meeting. You’re not a crusader so you can’t be a part of it!” Scootaloo said as she quickly grabbed the two others and started to drag them away. Discord only crossed his arms turning his back to them.
“Like I care! It’s not like I wanted to be in your stupid club anyway.” Discord said grumbling as he sat back down on his rump giving a loud snort. Scootaloo dragged the two crusaders far enough away that she was sure Discord could not hear them. Though a quick glance back she saw that Discord was more interested in his gift than them.
“What was that?!” Scootaloo hissed angrily glaring at the two, Applebloom shrugged as she gave her a blank stare. Sweetie Belle only twiddled her hooves together not making eye contact.
“We were supposed to seal him up! And get our cutie marks for that! We already tried gift giving!” Scootaloo said giving a little stomp as she talked. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom both looked down at the ground.
“AJ still opens packages she doesn’t know mighty carefully.” Applebloom said rubbing the back of her a bit as she thought about the baby honey badger she got for her sister. The badger didn’t really care for Applejack.
“Rarity didn’t like that fake pop out snake I got her.” Sweetie Belle said silently as she gave a little pout at the snake she had to throw away.
“Yeah! So we don’t need to go around and give gifts again!” Scootaloo said angrily as she sat down and crossed her hooves.
“But he liked it.” Sweetie Belle said in a quiet voice, Scootaloo only huffed as she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah Sweetie belles right. That and now that ah think about it Zecora never really said it would seal him up.” Applebloom said shyly as she rubbed the back of her neck making Scootaloo groan.

“Hey yeah! She never said what it would do in the first place!” Sweetie Belle said a bit too loud making her voice crack.
“OH come on! We went through all that just to give him a present!?” Scootaloo yelled angrily as she gave another stomp.
“…but it was nice, he looked really happy.” Sweetie Belle said in a quiet tone she twiddled her hooves again. The three fillies just sighed as they slumped on the ground.
“So now what?” Scootaloo asked annoyed as she kicked a nearby pebble away.
“Ah don’t know this whole day has been a waste. All we did is make a crazy dragon thing happy.” Applebloom said as she blew her hair out of her face.
“Yeah…a powerful dragon thing.” Scootaloo said as she stopped her twiddling , her eyes widening slightly.
“A dragon thing that has enough magic to turn Ponyville into the chaos capital.” Sweetie Belle said standing up looking over at Scootaloo.
“With enough magic to put princess Celestia…to shame.” Applebloom said gasping as she looked at her friends, they looked like they were thinking the same thing.
“Someone that could—
“Help us—
“Get our—
“Cutie marks.” The three fillies said in union. A silence feel over the land before the three fillies vanished from sight in a puff of smoke, before reappearing where they last saw Discord. Alas he was nowhere to be seen.
“Where is he!?” Scootaloo yelled as she noticed that the draquinmunes was gone. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom looked around for him, they scanned the area looking for any sign of the miss-matched being. Applebloom gasped as she saw a large outline heading back toward Ponyville.
“There he is! He’s heading back into town!” She yelled waving her hoof in the town’s direction.
“Cutie mark Crusaders Cutie mark acquirers!” they yelled in union as they ran at speeds that would put even the most seasoned athlete to shame.

“My, what a lovely gift. It’s been too long since I’ve burned some incense. Oh I do hope Shy lets me burn it.” Discord said taking another sniff of the sack, part of him not wanting to burn it but what else could you do with it? Last time he checked it was toxic to eat, for ponies at least, and he wasn’t allowed to make anything appear in the environment that wasn’t already there. At least not permanently. He took a quick glance around noting that what few ponies were around hightailed it out of the area when they saw him coming. He sighed as he continued to walk on all fours, he scrunched his nose at this. They could at least show him a little respect for degrading himself to walk like an animal!
“Stupid ponies. I’ve been living here for months now. You’d think they would get used to me huh?” he asked turning to look down at a small brown colt with a propeller cap on who was drinking a soda. The colt just stared up at him sipping at his drink. Discord took note of his odd cutie mark of a game controller but before he could comment a mare who was probably his mother quickly walked up to them and snatched the colt away and high tailed it to the nearest shop. Discord could hear the colt’s cries of protest ‘But moooom!’ He gave an angry snort turning his head up at them.
“Rude and I do mean Rude!” he said with a huff as he walked away his tail and head held up straight. After a few moments pass he slouched again, he could practically hear Celestia and Rarity yelling “Don’t Slouch!” he shook his head grumbling as he continued to walk.
“I really need to exercise more. I’m getting flabby.” He said looking down at his slim form he gave a shrug as a nearby salespony quickly hitched his cart and ran making a few fruits fall off. Discord rolled his eyes.

“OK this is just getting annoying.” He said under his breath, since he’d been reformed the only ponies willing to talk to him where the annoying team of colorful ponies, baring Fluttershy of course. He felt something tug at his chest making him snort.
“Stupid heart stop feeling bad.” He grumbled as he gave a little sigh, out of the corner of his eye he saw someone staring at him from the bench, Roseluck if he remembered correctly. He shrugged having nothing to lose he waved at her, she took one look at him before bolting away practically tripping over her own hooves in the process.
“OH yeah thanks! That doesn’t hurt my self-esteem or anything!” Discord yelled making sure she heard him, she only ran faster making him sigh as he ran his hand across the back of his neck. He gave a snort, he hated the fact ponies treated him like this, but the thing that bothered him the most was the fact he actually cared what they thought. He gave a defeated sigh as he continued on his way. He thought about Maybe talking to Fluttershy about this but quickly shrugged it off, she dident need to be bothered by this. That’s when he felt it, not the ping or tug at his chest, or the tiny nagging Celestia voice in the back of his head. No, this was different he felt…cold. He tapped his chin in thought, the last time he felt this feeling was when Celestia had a few too many ciders during the hot spring nights. He tapped his chine once more before grabbing the sack again and holding it up to his snout sniffing it again.
“Hmmm what did Pinkie Pie call it?” he said as he continued to tap his chin, it was at the tip of his tongue. He snapped his fingers as it came to him the sack still very close to his mouth.

“Ah! Pinkie sense! Something about being in danger--
“CUTIE MARKS!”
Before Discord could process anything three filly sized projectiles threw themselves at him knocking him down to the ground hard, they started to roll on the ground. He landed on the ground the wind knocked out of him. He gasped grabbing his neck as he started to choke on something.
“Gives us our cutie marks! Please! Please! Please!” the group of fillies yelled in union as they proceeded to jump up and down on him. He tried to scream or teleport but each time they came down on his body it knocked whatever concentration or air he could muster out of him.
“Come on! Give us what we want!” Scootaloo said quickly grabbing his paw and pulling at it, the other two quickly followed her example and started pulling at his eagle hand. Applebloom gave it a firm flick making it click like an old lighter, the claws even gave off a little spark each time. None of the fillies noticed his eyes rolling up as his face started to turn a shade of blue and starting to foam at the mouth.
“Come on work!” Scootaloo yelled angrily as she tugged harder and harder. She flicked his paw wanting something to happen, she pouted as it gave a slight stutter like an engine starting only to die suddenly.

“Oh Come on!” Scootaloo yelled shaking it more, Sweetie Belle grumbled as she looked down at him noting his blue face.
“Uhhh girls I think we broke him.” She said letting go of his eagle hand and stepped over him. The other 2 crusaders looked down at him each looking at each other worried. None of them seemed to notice or care that they were still standing on him.
“Applebloom what did you do!?” Scootaloo yelled pointing at the farm filly, Applebloom gave Scootaloo a glare as she turned to face her.
“Me!? What about you?!” Applebloom asked angrily as she continued to glare making Scootaloo scoff at her. The two fillies stared down each other being chest to chest as if they were about to duke it out as Rarity called it. That was until two small white hooves pushed them apart.
“Girls! We don’t have time for fighting! We need to help him!” Sweetie yelled pointing down at the downed Draconequus, he gave a gurgle in response. Applebloom gasped as Scootaloo reached down and started shaking him making him twitch slightly.
“Quick somefilly give him QPC!” She yelled as she continued to shake Discord, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle facehoofed.
“It’s CPR you dummy!” Sweetie Belle said giving her friend a deadpan look.
“Well whatever! Someone give it to him...not me! I don’t know how too.” Scootaloo said quickly noting the other crusaders looking at her.
“Well ah don’t know ether! Ah always found it gross!” Applebloom retorted as she made a gagging motion. The two crusaders quickly turned their attention to Sweetie Belle, who backed away, blushing slightly.

“I’m not allowed to give CPR anymore, not after Thunderlane told Rarity I tried to on him.” She said swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. The other crusaders just stared at her with confused looks.
“But you know how to do it right?” Scootaloo asked slowly making Sweetie Belle nod slowly.
“So what’s the problem?” Applebloom asked tilting her head waiting for an answer.
“Rarity said I’m not allowed too! And Thunderlane won’t let me and Rumble have a sleepover at his house anymore.” Sweetie Belle said in a sad tone, Discord gave another gurgle as he convulsed slightly. The two fillies looked back down at him before looking back up at sweetie Belle making her whimper slightly.
“I really can’t---
“Ahh come on think about poor Discord here.” Scootaloo said nudging Discords lifeless body, it gave a slight twitch in response.
“But I---
“Aww come on Sweetie Belle! What about our cutie marks? If we help him, he wouldn’t only owe us for the little gift we gave him but saving his life too. So get to it!” Applebloom said stomping her hoof on the soft ground, Discord gave a painful grunt at this action. Sweetie Belle looked at her then at Scootaloo, both of them waiting for her answer.
“But…But…But----
“Come on think about the cutie marks.” Scootaloo said her lip quivering as she looked at her friend, Applebloom did the same with her lips, even adding her puppy dog eyes to the mix. Sweetie Belle looked on in near tears, looking back and forth from each of the fillies and Discord who was getting a darker shade of blue with each passing second.
“…oh…oh…OH! Alright!” Sweetie Belle practically yelled as she stomped angrily, she hung her head in shame. The other two nearly jumped up and down in joy but stopped when she held her hoof up.

“But! You can’t tell anyone! Especially Rarity!” She yelled angrily, glaring at them with small blush on her face, they nodded making a zipping motion with their hooves on their mouths. She gulped as she looked down at the mad god whose face was now turning a deep shade of purple.
“Why me?” she thought to herself as she took a deep breath and leaned down, the other crusaders moved lower giving her some space. They flopped down on his midsection, they gasped as they heard a quack. Discord shot up hacking up something, it flew in the air before hitting Applebloom in the face with a wet plop. Applebloom gave a “ewwww” as she pulled the object off her face, it was the sack they had given him. He fell back down coughing and taking in deep breaths of much needed sweet, sweet air.
“Celestia’s right hoof!” he yelled angrily, his eyes filled with tears as he gave a series of hard coughs, after he finished his coughing fit he laid back down wheezing and panting slightly. At this time he noticed a shadow above him, he looked up and blinked. Sweetie Belle stood over him, inches from his face looking down at him. He blinked again as he noticed how close her lips were to his, her lips pressing against each other in a kissing motion.
He blinked once more before slowly reaching up and cupping her cheeks, he then slowly ever so slowly started to push her away. He pushed her enough for her to flop down on her rump. He sat up staring at her quietly, he then used both hands to pick her up off his chest and put her on the ground only to push her away further from him before retracting both his hands. The three fillies just stared at him confused. He stood up suddenly, knocking the reaming two fillies off of him. His form towering over the fillies once more, only then did Sweetie Belle stop making the kissy face. A thick silence filled the air for a moment before Discord gave a small cough.
"I...I'm just going to poof away before this gets more awkward" He said as he lifted up his paw ready to poof himself away. At this the fillies practically tackled him again as they threw their hooves up at him.
“No wait!” they yelled in union as they threw themselves at him, clinging to him. He gave a yelp as he was nearly thrown back down to the ground. A blink of an eye later they started screaming “Cutiemark!” at him over and over at him. He flinched as they pulled on anything their hooves could grab. Limbs, hair, his goatee and his fur. He swore he felt a few patches being ripped out.

“Ow! Will you-OW! Stop-OW!—pulling!?” he said angrily, finally prying himself free and quickly climbing a nearby tree, the fillies quickly circled said tree.
“Cutiemarks!” they yelled looking up at him. He gave a snort.
“What do I look like a Cutiemark factory or something?!” Discord asked angrily, glaring down at them as they only looked up at him before turning to each other, he watched as they whispered something to each other. Seconds pass before they look up at him.
“Yes! You are a cutie mark factory! And we want our cutie marks!” they said in union, he scoffed crossing his arms.
“How do I look like a factory of any sort?!” he said looking down at his body. Had he really gained that much weight?
“Well ya use magic right?” Applebloom asked looking up at him, he only rolled his eyes at her.
“Uh Duh.” He said siting down on the tree branch he was standing on.
“And you’re like a zillion times stronger than the princesses’ right?” Scootaloo asked making him roll his eyes again.
“Look at the above comment dear.” He said pointing upward, the fillies looked up to see a bird sitting on a branch, it gave a loud squawk before flying away. the fillies quickly turned their attention back to him making him feel nervous.
“…And you’re a good guy know right?” Sweetie Belle asked looking up at him with wide eyes. He swore one of his hearts gave out when he looked down at her.
“Uhh yes...well to an extent.” He said coughing as he waved his hand in a dismissive manner. The three fillies looked up at him beaming.

“Then we gave you that gift—
“After attacking me in my sleep. And I’m pretty sure the chicken said something about sealing me up.” He said picking his ear earning a “Hey!” from Scootaloo. She was quickly silenced with a quick shoosh from the others.
“And we saved your life---
“If that’s your idea of saving lives then I’m filing a restraining order.” He said flicking what he picked out of his ear in a random direction. He quickly perked up when he heard “that’s what Roseluck said.” He had the feeling there’s quite a number of orders against these fillies.
“Well they did release me the first time around.” He thought, chuckling to himself.
“But the point is you owe us our cutie marks!” Scootaloo said angrily making her tiny wings buzz. Discord chuckled as he looked down at them. They had a certain charm to them, of course he would never admit it out loud.
“Please Mr. Discord?” Sweetie belle asked making him look down at her. He cringed again feeling chest pains. He shook his head a bit before glaring down at the three fillies. He did have to admit that he did like the incense but then he remembered the sexual assault the white one tried to do. He tapped his chin trying to ignore the chanting below him. He pulled out a yoyo and started making it play hopscotch. He could help them but then something nagged at the back of his head, he knew this nagging but decided to confirm it.
“So I’m guessing you want me to just poof you some cutie marks?” he asked making the yoyo fly off into the sky.
“Yes! That!” Scootaloo said happily, the three fillies cheered as they started talking about what their cutie marks were going to be. He looked down at them, he reached behind his back and pulled out a little black note book. He gave it a blow and made a thick dust cloud poof up. He smiled as he put on his reading glasses and started flipping through the thick book.
“Hmmm let’s see. Necromancy. Opening the 9 gates of Eldritch horrors. Cutie—aha! Number 47!” he said looking though the very long list of “Discord don’ts”.
“Sorry fillies no can do.” He said flipping the book through making sure he was thorough, he wondered why it’s been so long since he read though his little black book. The fillies stopped there cheering, looking up at the mismatched being. they saw him flipping through a book.
“Huh? What not?” Applebloom asked looking up at him. He only grinned as he looked down at her making the book poof away.
“Even I have rules dear. And that’s a big no no.” he said grinning much to the dismay of the fillies.
“But why?!” Applebloom said pouting up at him, the rest of the fillies followed suite looking near heart broken by his statement. Discord felt a little bad for popping the fillies hope.

“Yeah! What gives you big jerk!?” Scootaloo asked angrily as her little wings buzzed angrily. He only grinned no longer feeling bad about the popping.
“Ever hear of the cutie pox?” he asked with a grin. This silenced them, sweetie belle and Scootaloo both looked back at Applebloom who only huffed a bit.
“That only happened once!” Applebloom said puffing out her cheeks at her friends, Discord heard this but decided not to ask for details. He only laid there staring at them, part of him wondering why he was still there and not in Appaloosa or something. The term “curiosity killed the cat” came to mind. He was thankful he wasn’t part cat. He tiled his head a bit questioning if lions counted as “cats”.
“Come on! You owe us!” Scootaloo yelled snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked down and grinned.
“Dear I don’t think I owe anyone anything. Besides since when do gifts have a ‘you owe us’ clause to them?” Discord asked grinning down at them making them puff up. Sweetie Belle looked up at him for a moment before looking down.
“Are you really not going to help us Mr. Discord?” Sweetie Belle asked in a shaky tone as she looked back up, tears started to fill her eyes as she looked up at him with a quivering lip. Discord winched a bit as he felt his heart gave the inside of his chest a kick. He had to think fast. He could already feel his finger slipping. He shook his head, the last time he let it slip he had to avoid Celestia for a few decades. He looked down again seeing the little filly’s eyes grow slightly bigger. He cringed some more as he coughed a bit.

“No. sorry I really can’t. If I do I’ll get in really big trouble.” He said making the fillies groan slightly.
“How much trouble we talking about?” Applebloom asked looking up at him intensely. Discord tapped his chin a bit before looking down at her.
“Ummm skipping school in the middle of a really important test trouble.” Discord said hoping they would understand, he doubted they could understand the isolation and darkness he had to endure for over a 1000 years. Though maybe they did know but he didn’t want to be the one to explain the utter desolation he felt after the first few days. And how lonely it was. His mind drifting slowly into madness until it snapped only for it to snap back to relative sanity after a few hundred years. The fillies gasped snapping him out of his dark thoughts, for now. Discord had the feeling that they have played that particular song before. The fillies continued to talk as he grabbed a piece of the bark and munched on it. It tasted awful but he did need his daily fiber intake.
“Oh ok! We won’t ask you again Mr. Discord!” Sweetie Belle said suddenly perking up, her tears gone.
“What?! Why!?” Scootaloo asked glaring at Sweetie Belle.
“Scoots don’t you remember how much trouble we got in for skipping that one test a few months back?” Sweetie Belle asked returning the glare.
“Oh shoot. Sweetie’s right. Big mac was so angry I thought he was going to explode!” Applebloom said nodding in agreement with sweetie Belle. She gave a thought as something clicked in her mind.

“Scoots! If we got in that much trouble being fillies, imagine what would happen to Mr. Discord here! He’d be sent to the moon!” Applebloom said pointing to the sky. Discord grumbled something about not liking being called “Mr.” but he let it slide as he saw the fillies continue to argue among themselves. He sighed face palming as he ran his paw down his face in annoyance. He lifted up his fingers, they were distracted enough that he could escape from them, or at least long enough to find a better hiding spot at least.
“Well if it isn’t the Blank flanks!” An uppity snobbish voice said getting Discords full attention. He felt his jaw clinch as well as his eagle hand, the last time he felt this feeling was when he was introduced to Blue Blood. To this day he still feels unclean when he breaths in the air of Equestria. Discord looked forward on the little hill near the tree, two fillies stood there grinning down at the three little fillies. One had a tiara and with pink fur and a purple and white colored mane and tail. Her flank had what he assumed to be a Tiara, he blinked wondering what kind of talent that represented. But what stood out about her were not her spotless coat or expensive looking tiara, what stood out were her eyes. Like a predator finding injured prey. He turned his attention to the other filly next to her, this one screamed submissive. Her grey coat matching her silver mane and tail, the light blue glasses contrasted with the rest of her, yet complimented the pearls around her neck. He frowned at the cutie mark, a single silver spoon. Yet another cutie mark that for all his knowledge he had he could not find an answer to what it meant.
“Yeah like these blank flanks are like so lame!” the grey one said making them both giggle, Discord wished he had a muzzle for the two. Granted he could just poof their muzzles away for a while but he could once again hear the tiny Celestia voice screaming at him for even thinking that.
“Oh Silver Spoon you know these three are always lame.” The pink one said in a snide tone. He could have sworn that blue blood didn’t have a wife, much less a daughter. Though for all he knew she just crawled out of the same slime pit that Blue Blood did.
“What do you want Diamond Tiara?” Applebloom asked angrily, glaring hatefully at the two fillies as she took a step forward. Diamond tiara only giggled as she raised her nose up at them.

“Oh Silver spoon isn’t that adorable? The dirt pony is trying to act important.” Diamond Tiara said with a sneer. Silver spoon giggled at her friends comment.
“Totally! Reason she hangs out with other worthless blanks!” Silver spoon said laughing at her own comment. Discord raised an eyebrow as he watched them.
“So that’s what it looks like when you laugh at your own joke? ...I need to make changes in my life.” Discord said rubbing his chine, stroking his goatee in thought.
“Yeah! I mean how sad is it that a dirt pony, a clumsy unicorn and a flightless bird have only each other as friends?” Diamond said giving a loud high pitched laugh making Discords ears winced in slight pain.
“So what?! We’d rather be losers than stuck up snobs!” Scootaloo said angrily making the others nod at her.
“Yeah at least Ah’m not a spoiled apple who ah wouldn’t even feed to Mr. Waddles!” Applebloom said giving an angry snort.
“Yeah you---you---jerks!” Sweetie Belle said loudly making her voice squeak and break. The two bullies’ huffed as they stomped their way to them.
“Hey at least I’m not a blank flank! Not to mention Daddy treats me like a princess. What do you three get treated too?” She said grinning making Silver spoon giggle at diamonds comment.
“Yeah! Last week we got to go to Canterlot and ate at La Esmeralda Café. That’s the fanciest of fancy restraints.” Silver spoon said with a giggle giving them a look as if she was talking to trash.

“Yeah! And Hoity Toity was there and we got to talk to him.” Diamond Tiara said snickering a bit at the crusaders. They just stared at them confused.
“Who?” Scootaloo asked tilting her head a bit making the two bullies gasp.
“You don’t know who Hoity Toity is?!” Silver spoon asked shocked as Diamond Tiara only scuffed at them.
“Of course they don’t know who he is. He is one of the most important fashion pony in Canterlot! He is the one who decides what’s in fashion and what’s not in fashion. Not like you uncouth blanks know anything fancy.” Diamond Tiara said with a smirk, it faded quickly at the huff Sweetie Belle gave.
“Big deal he’s not Discord.” Sweetie Belle said quietly making Scootaloo and Applebloom nod.
“Hey yeah! He’s no Discord! Toity may be a fancy pony but I bet he can’t scare princess Celestia!” Scootaloo said happily. Discord grinned at this, he was one of the few living things that know that Celestia was Claustrophobic, bit ironic really when you think about the methods of punishment she gives out. He could still feel the whipping he got from Starswirl when he locked her in that box that one of many times.
“Yeah! At least we can say we talked to the spirit of chaos!” Applebloom said pointing her hoof at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Discord could not help but grin at the comments. Sure he’s been called more faltering things in the past but they were children so he would let that pass. He grinned as he leaned down a bit watching the two bullies faces slowly go from smug, to shock, to horror.

“Discord? You mean that thing that attacked Ponyville a few months ago?” Silver spoon asked looking disgusted making Discord gave an angry snort at the comment.
“Ha! I should have known! Only freaks would hang out with freaks!” Diamond Tiara said with a grin as she started giggling at them. Discord frowned once again stopping his fingers from clicking and turning their manes into spiders.
“Hey we maybe freaks but better than stuck up snobs!” Scootaloo said angrily making the other crusaders nod. Discord watched with interest enjoying the chaos and the insults being thrown around. Everything from ‘monster lover’ to silver spoon having a brown nose and his personal favorite, daddies little plot kisser DLPK for short. He grinned as he made a note of that one. His attention was quickly fading however, as much as he like the chaos he really did need to get going. He had no other plans for the day but even walking around town being followed by the local guard was a better use of his time.
“Yeah well at least my colt friend didn’t break up with me!” Diamond Tiara said loudly as the glared at blank flanks. Discord felt a cold chill run down his spin as he heard that. The group of fillies went silent, even silver spoon took a step back from Diamond Tiara. Sweetie Belle looked at her in shock before looking down.
“Buttons had to move! He had to move to Canterlot! It’s not his fault his mom got a new job!” Sweetie Belle said with a shaky voice. Discord suddenly felt like he should do something about how these fillies were acting. But what? He couldn’t just zap them into a volcano. Celestia would have a fit of godly proportions, he huffed crossing his arms. sometimes being reformed was not fun at--most of the time.
“She’s just a stick in the mud…maybe if---oh damn it I can’t.” He said grumbling knowing that if did anything to harm the fillies Fluttershy would never speak to him again. That and the whole being sealed into stone for another 1000 years was the icing on the cake of nope. He clicked his tongue wondering what he should do. He couldn’t hurt them, physically or mentally. Couldn’t use magic on them ether.

“Hmmm Loop hole, loop hole---oh…OH!” he said grinning evilly as in idea had formed in his mind. He has played pranks and scared ponies before. He wasn’t hurting them since Rainbow dash and Pinkie pie did the same things. Sure he would add his extra flare to it, but Twilight did say it was only fair, even though she looked like someone was twisting her arms to make her say that at the time. But what should he do exactly? He needed an opening, something to let him not just poof into existence. As if a greater force than himself had heard him he felt the sudden urge to return his attention to the conversation at hoof.
“Hey you better take that back or or—
“Or we’ll sic Discord on you!” Scootaloo said angrily her wings buzzing up a storm. Oh how Discord could kiss her! Though that might have to wait another 10 years, he made a mental note of that.
“Yeah! We’ll sic…Discord on you?” Applebloom said unsure of herself as Scootaloo looked at her for a moment before realizing what she said. She stayed silent for a moment before rubbing her chin a bit.
“Huddle!” she said pulling the two crusaders into a huddle. Discord raised his eyebrows in confusion. Since when could you call for a group huddle in the middle of an argument? ...he would need to try that out next time he was in Canterlot. The two bullies looked on shocked and offended that they were begin ignored. Discord watched on with amusement, he never had to worry about being ignored. The three fillies continued their huddle, talking and whispering to each other. Moments pass before they pull away from each other. Scootaloo had a grin on her face, while Sweetie Belle looked worried. Applebloom looked unsure of herself but stood next to her friend.
“Yeah! You might be jerks but we have the biggesting jerk on our side!” Scootaloo said proudly. Discord frowned a bit scratching his head in confusion, he didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. For that matter when did he pick sides? Well he guessed the moment the two bullies came into existence one night fateful night of drunken passion between their parents is when he picked sides.

“That’s not a word!” Sweetie Belle said loudly making her voice crack again.
“Quiet dictionary! It is so a word! Rainbow Dash called him that!” Scootaloo said proudly making the fillies and Discord roll their eyes. And just like that the arguing continued, Discord sighed as he looked at the sun frowning at how much time he had wasted.
“Well there’s no time like the present.” He said with a deep chuckle as he clicked his fingers. Discord grinned evilly as his magic started to flare up, his body slowly sinking into the tree he was on. Melting into it until he was gone from sight, just as Sweetie belle looked up at where he was.
“No! See he’s right---wait.” Sweetie Belle said looking around for the miss-matched god. The rest of the fillies looked up at the tree, Scootaloo gave an angry groan.
“Oh come on! Really!?” she yelled angrily as her wings buzzed with fury. Diamond Tiara and Silver spoon giggled at her.
“Ha-ha even the king of freaks don’t want anything to do with you three!” Silver spoon said giggling loudly as the three fillies tried in vain to find discord.
“Wow that’s really sad that even a thing like him doesn’t want to hang out with you three losers.” Diamond tiara said in a mocking tone joining her friend in giggling. The two bullies continued to snicker behind the crusaders making them more and more angry by the minute. Applebloom snorted angrily as looked around for the miss matched creature trying her best to ignore them. That’s when something out of the corner of her eye got her attention, something behind the tree was glowing. She made her way to it ignoring the bullies and the ranting Scootaloo was doing. Something about tying Discords wings to his feet. Sweetie Belle sighed wishing that Discord didn’t have to leave, she was going to ask him something important. She kicked a small rock knowing it will have to wait for later, that’s when she looked up and saw Applebloom walking behind the tree.
“Applebloom? What’s going on?” Sweetie Belle asked wondering what Applebloom was looking at. She blinked noticing the glow as well and followed her friend. Diamond Tiara noticed this and growled.

“Hey don’t ignore me!” Diamond said angrily as she stomped her hoof, this did nothing to get her attention.
“Hey guys what’s up!? We were talking about sic’ing discord on them! Not whatever that is!” Scootaloo said following the two behind the tree. Diamond Tiara glared as she rushed over to them, Silver Spoon following right behind her.
“Hey! Stop ignoring me!” she said quickly rounding the corner only to pop out on the other side of it. She skid to the stop nearly crashing into Silver spoon.
“Wh—what!? Where did those losers go!?” she asked angrily as she turned and circled around the tree quickly, once more popping out the other end.
“Their…gone?” Silver spoon asked tilting her head a bit wondering how the three blank flanks could pull such an impressive disappearing act. The two bullies looked around wondering what happened.
“Well I couldn’t let them see what was about to transpire, now could I?” a deep voice said followed by a deep chuckle. The two fillies stood still the voice sending a shiver down their spine.

“What—
“Was that?” Diamond Tiara said finishing silver spoons sentence. Another chuckle was heard followed by the rustling of leaves.
“Why me of course, I saw you were bothering my new fan club ‘apparently’ so I decided to send them away. I am rather hungry after all.” The voice said as more sounds were heard, like twigs and branches being bent but not snapping. Slowly the two fillies turned around and gasped, the scream died in their throats before it could even reach their lips. They watched on in silent horror. Two large hands made out of wood emerged out of the tree and hovered in front of them. This time they gave a shriek as two slits opened up in the palms of the tree revealing two eyes looking at them. They seemed a little too happy to see them, like a child that was just given the biggest shiniest toy ever.
“Mmmmm my my. You will do just fine.” The tree said chuckling more as a large slit formed down its middle. It split open and a large snake-like tongue slithered out, the sides of it filled with jagged teeth.

“Time for some dinner.” The tree said as the snake like lounge slithered to them. The fillies watched as the tongue slithered closer. A mare’s distorted voice could be heard coming from inside the trees mouth, as if beckoning them to lay down their sleepy heads. The tree’s tongue shoots out and buries itself into the ground right in front of the two bullies. The bullies’ shirked as they ran off screaming and crying. Diamond Tiara tripping Silver spoon as she ran getting more and more distance from her. Silver spoon was shocked for a moment before dashing off after her, both screaming for their daddies. The tree laughed as it watched the fillies run off into the distance, a trail of tears flowing behind them. The tree laughed some more as a bright flash covered it for a moment before Discord burst from it, rolling on the ground laughing.
“Oh! I got those little brats good!” he said giving another loud laugh, he continued to laugh at the misfortune of the two fillies. A few voices were heard from the tree as Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo walked from around the corner.
“Ah don’t get it! Why would that weird monkey thing be summoning frogs?” Applebloom asked tilting her head a bit.
“I don’t know, but the small froggys were cute! But Rarity would have a fit over that weird outfit.” Sweetie Belle said with a smile. Scootaloo only scoffed as she played with a blue headband on her head.

“Well that crazy snake guy was awesome! But why the hay did he try to bite us?” Scootaloo asked tapping at the headband.
“Yeah he was weird but did he really deserve that?” Sweetie Belle asked turning to look at Applebloom.
“Hey granny smith said that if a stallion tries to bite you in a place you don’t want, you kick him in the apples!” Applebloom said proudly as she have a little kick of her own.
“Yeah but did you have to use both hooves? Even the frog thing he was fighting stopped to help him.” Sweetie Belle said giving a pout, at this Discord stopped laughing and perked up. He grinned as he much to the filly’s confusion rolled over to them before leaping up in front of them.
“Oh! Sounds like you three had quite the adventure!” he said grinning as he leaned down noting the headband on Scootaloos’ head, and the etching of a leaf on it.
“Hey! Where were you!? We needed you to back us up!” Scootaloo said angrily as she tried to punch him only to miss him as he bent out of the way. Discord grinned as he held her head keeping her at bay as she continued to swing at him.
“Hey yeah you big bully! Were where you when we needed ya to bully the bullies!?” Applebloom asked as she gave her hoof a little stomp. Discord only grinned as he gently pushed Scootaloo away making her wings poof as she falls on her rump.
“Oh relax my little ponies! Uncle Discord already took care of the mean writtle fillies.” Discord said with a chuckle as he pointed at the empty spot were the bullies were last seen.

“Wait you didn’t eat them did you?” Sweetie Belle asked worriedly as she held her tail close to her chest. Discord wanted to yell at the filly to stop being…cute, but he was worried it would have the opposite effect. He shook his head making his eyes rattle a bit.
“I was tempted to at least chew on them a little.” Discord said stroking his beard for a moment making the fillies edge away from him slightly.
“But I decided to give them a good ol scare instead.” Discord said grinning as he made a spider on puppet strings appear in front of him, he chuckled as he made it dance with a little hat and cane too. The fillies watched as they clapped enjoying the little spider singing “Hello my babe, hello my darling!’ Discord grinned as he made the spider dance, he forgot how easily children were entertained. No wonder Luna was the favorite of the two princesses, Tia was such a bore. He entertained the thought of him running for princess ship but Celestia passed that stupid law saying he couldn’t. she knew she would lose.
“Aww he’s cute.” Sweetie Belle said snapping Discord out of his thoughts as she started petting the spider making it purr. He snapped his fingers making the spider bow before it scurried off and up the tree. A few moments of silence pass before Discord snapped his fingers making an umbrella with the most eye stabbing colors of bright green and yellow with a swirl in it appear in his hand.

“Well ladies—fillies I must be going now.” he said turning around giving his umbrella a twirl. The fillies gasped as they ran in front of him making him groan.
“Listen fillies, I can’t or won’t pick ether, give you your cutie marks.” He said walking past them only for them to run in front of him again.
“But—
“Nope” he said hopping over Applebloom making her grunt angrily.
“What if—
“I’ll say it in Spanish. No.” he said in a Hispanic accent as he slithered past Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle watched as the two continued to pester Discord, who seemed to get more and more annoyed. She tapped her chin in thought, trying to think of something. She gasped as her horn gave a little spurt of magic and quickly ran up to him.
“For the last freaking time no! Let me say it in more than one language! Nie, Ne, Non, Na, Nein, Nai, and Nao!” he yelled angrily as the top of his head popped off as steam and green flames shot out of it. The two fillies looked at him worried as he glared at them, he was at the end of his rope. Not since Twilight made him rearrange her library for replacing her books with fan fics of daring doo and Ahuizotl had he felt such stress in such short amount of time. He didn’t understand why he got in trouble, Rainbow dash was the one who wrote them.
“Excuse me Mr. Discord can I ask you something?” Sweetie Belle asked tugging on his tail making him freeze up before slowly turning around to look at her. Discord gritted his teeth a bit as he glared at her, his red eyes glowing for a split second.
“What.Is.It?” Discord asked his voice strained from holding back a screaming fit that was building up in his very soul. The filly didn’t seem to notice the danger as the other two waved at her to run.
“I wanted to ask if you wanted to come hang out with us at our club house.” She said with a warm smile as Discord gave a stomp as his umbrella and himself burst into green flames.

“For the 10000th time! I will not—wait what?” Discord asked as his fiery green flames of fury were doused out like he was standing under a waterfall.
“I asked if you wanted to come over to our club house. We were going to have a meeting but we got distracted with…things.” Sweetie Belle said shooting a look at the other two crusaders who huffed at her turning away from the look. Discord stayed silent thinking over what she had said. He tried to think when the last time he was invited into someone who wasn’t Fluttershy, but he knew the answer to that question. He grumbled at the fact he was never asked to partake in any activities with anyone. Not even he was invited to Pinkies brunch today, he wondered if Fluttershy remembered it was today. She could be so forgetful at times. He crossed his chest not liking the empty pit that was forming in it. Once again he had to blame Fluttershy for that feeling, he frowned. He hated not being able to hang out with her, but his tantrum at the farm pony who he wanted to pay a visit to sort of left a bad taste in his mouth. Stupid ponies, always being the bane of his confusion.
“Mr. Discord?” Sweetie Belle asked snapping him out of his thoughts as he stared at him, he only turned away once again in thought. He was the spirit of chaos! Not a baby sitter! Why should he of all creatures bother to go with them to their club house? Why should he go to a secret club house anyway? He had better things to do than go with them after all.

“And this is our cutie mark map! We use it to help us pick were we can get our cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle said smiling as she pointed at the map on the wall of the cramped room. Discord looked at and hummed as he looked around the room, he found it a bit annoying that the only way he could even fit in the club house was to lay on his stomach like a cat. Not that he minded he did it on a daily basis, though doing it in someone else’s garden always gave him a headache and it sure wasn’t due to the broom swatting at his head to leave. He grumbled as he rubbed his horns, they practically snapped off when he walked in. he sipped at the juice box Applebloom had offered him, apple juice of course. It was as if any member of the apple family had anything else other than apple they would cease to exist. Sweetie Belle was droning on and on about cutie marks this and cutie marks that. Applebloom was talking to him about how old he was and if he knew her great—to many greats to care relative. Scootaloo was in the corner closet digging something out. Gods why did he come here again?

“And this is my dirt bike!” Scootaloo said getting Discord to stop tying an invisible nose around his neck. He turned to see her yanking out a bicycle. Discord tilted his head at the “dirt bike” he was pretty sure dirt bikes did not have training wheels, or flowers.
“Well what do you think?” Sweetie Belle asked smiling as she finished her tour of the club house. Discord sipped at his juice box for a bit taking in all the details. Every error. Every nook and cranny he could see. Every single piece of Rainbow dash drawings.
“This kid is obsessed.” Discord muttered under his breath, he was sure if he walked into that closet, there would be a statue of rainbow crash in it covered in her shed feathers and fur. He gave a shudder at the image.
“Well? Pretty cool right? Were the only fillies in all of Ponyville and maybe even Canterlot that has a club house! And ah built it myself!” Applebloom said proudly, Discord blinked as he looked at her bare rump. He shook it off as a cosmic force needing to get off its flank moment. While he could do the job himself he refused to do someone else’s dirty work or work in general.

“Do you not like it?” Sweetie Belle asked giving a cute pout snapping him once again from his thoughts. He finished his juice box and put it down gently before making a pair of glasses appear on his face.
“The curtains are out dated, the floorboards are uneven, and the décor would make Rarity jump out the window.” Discord said clicking his tongue making the fillies slouch slightly. He scanned the room, it was awful. While he could guess it was in much worse shape given that some of the walls have been completely replaced. Granted the floorboards were ‘even’ at least enough to pass an inspection. But every few steps one would be out of place as if different types and sizes of wood were used. He could practically hear Twilights OCD screaming to be put down. The colors clashed with each other in every way possible. Like the fillies could not decide on one color and said ‘buck it’ and used a bucket instead of a brush. Rarity would burst into flames from it, and the sweets they had under the floorboards that Applebloom was digging though showed they had enough sweets to make pinkie pie jealous. The flowers were the only nice thing about the place. He guessed Roseluck gave them flowers that would last a while. And finally the cutie mark map. It showed the entire town with black X’s on a few places and drawings underneath said X’s. Everything from a fire, to what he assumed was the plague in cupcake form. To flooding, these fillies are going to give him a run for his bits in a few years.
“I love it.” Discord said turning to the fillies who in turn gave him a little squee. He grinned as he looked at the map. A new target, a new hobby.
“And this! If you were around at my time I would never have been sealed up.” Discord said pulling the map and making it stretch without ripping.
“Oh you mean because we would have made you good!?” Sweetie Belle asked with a big smile on her face.
“No because you’d make enough chaos energy to set me free before that stick in the mud princess could finish her cake.” Discord said chuckling making Sweeties smile drop slightly.

“Ah that’s why were not allowed in the garden anymore huh?” Applebloom asked tilting her head a bit, Scootaloo scoffed a bit.
“Nah! Well at least not anymore!...right? I mean he’s here so we wouldn’t still be banished from there right?” Scootaloo asked making Discord snort.
“Oh please Celestia has that stick up her flank so far Twilight could taste it.” Discord said waving his paw in an uncaring manner, the fillies gasped making him blink.
“….Don’t repeat that around other adults…ok?” Discord said returning his attention to the map. He hummed as he pulled out a magnifying glass and started to scan the map.
“And you say you… do what exactly? Try to get your cutie marks?” he asked turning to look at his rump.
“I never got the whole cutie mark thing, been called a blank flank my whole life. I lot worse that I can’t repeat in front of…well you.” He said turning his attention back to the map not noticing Sweetie Belles eager whispering that the other crusaders only told her to shoosh it. Discord gave a loud ‘ha!’ as he looked at them grinning.
“I have been stressed for the past few days—
“Rarity drinks tea or goes to the spa.” Sweetie Belle said pointing to the map. Apparently they were banned from what he guessed was shampooing.
“When Big Mac gets stressed he goes into the barn. Ah’m not allowed in the barn when he’s stressed.” Applebloom said tilting her head a bit making Discord gag a bit and made a mental note to NEVER set foot in it.
“Rainbow dash does---
“As I was saying!” Discord said lifting up his hand making a zip it motion even made three zippers appear in front of the fillies making them quickly close their mouths.
“I have been stressed lately and this is just what the doctor ordered!” Discord said happily ignoring Applebloom asking him if he meant the one with the blue box. He grinned as he pulled the map harder making it stretch a bit more before letting go of it making it splat across the wall making the once small map as big as the wall. The fillies gasped as he stood up on all fours and started walking to the map

“With my chaos! And your…crusading we will rule Equestria!---I mean get your cutie marks!” Discord said coughing a bit at his mix up.
“Wait wha—
“Come on fillies!” He said with a grin as he placed a top hat on his head and a cape.
Let’s raise some chao---
Discord stood up quickly smashing his head into the ceiling, he stood there twitching as he clenched his hands in pain as a few needles and nails fell to the ground.
“Ooooh so that’s where I left Rarities sowing kit.” Sweetie Belle said completely forgetting the clubhouse had an attic. Discord gave a twitch followed by a pained groan.
“Ah’ll get the first aid kit.” Applebloom said as she quickly trotted behind the desk. Scootaloo went back into the closet and starting tossing things out.
“I’ll get the nurse hats.” Scootaloo said already belly deep into the closet making a few blue worn out feathers float out.
“I’ll get the number to that lawyer mom said I would need one day.” Sweetie Belle said as she started digging in the corner of plushes. Discord stood there groaning in pain as his tail gave a painful twitch making his cape give a passive flap.
“Ooh why did I come here?” He said giving a whimper as he felt the tiny swords these ponies call working tools dig into his skin. Today was definitely a long day, and he feared it would only get longer. A Lot longer.

Author's Note:

fyi Discords species is suppose to be misspelled and biggesting is a mash up of the words Biggest and thing :P
and i googled the No's

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