• Member Since 17th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 12th, 2016

worst day with sunny sky

Comments ( 61 )


nope!!! I just quickly scratched down my ideas. I'm gonna polish it when the time allow me.

I'm going to post one or two more chapters and see where this goes, then I'll decide whether I'm going to continue this story or not.

ok no no killing this story it must go on damn it

proof reader and editor. Both you need.

But still awesome chapter!

Nice to meet someone who made a Crysis story. I'm the author of My Little Crysis, and I already like the story.

3109198 Can you be my editor? I am very desperate. Shit, man. Or can you recommend me some one? Do you know anyone particular?


I can't do it hell I have a hard enough job writing my own freaken fics and I can't edit worth crap.

It doesn't show the pictures. Also, favorite the Luna pictures on deviantart.

nononono,you are getting it wrong. I am Ironmanjae. I started 3D about 4 years ago. I am the owner of that picture.If you don't believe me that I am, I will make another picture with all characters that I have modeled in to one single image right now.

3125873 Well, you made this story, I don't think you'd lie about creating art.

3126382 I like the one with the red blades.

Well, you did great, just a few errors. Such as Spices should be species, and berned should be bearded. Other than that, it's great.

3131534what do u think about whole luna being most POWERFUL?

I don't get how 4 people can dislike this

I don't expect everyone to like my story, and I can't make everyone happy. But what I can try to do is to make people like my story as many as possible so I can have fun writing.:twilightsmile:

Damn. I wonder what level of shit storm were gonna be seeing next chapter.:rainbowlaugh:

I just quickly fixed most noticeable one, i am willing to fix them all later if my lazy ass allow me.

Well, it's alright, but, when different people talk, you do this;

"Redundancy?" Psycho guessed, shrugging.

"No, maybe because there's something about System X that scares them." Prophet said, looking at NAX, the back to the Dam.

Other than that, it's fine.
Your editor, Prophet.

Sometimes, it is better to cross out unnecessary sentences. You don't need to write everything while you can just see it through their conversation. It is better to express character's emotions through conversation not through explanations, in that way, the readers tends to get more focused on the character, feeling closer to the character than writer just explaining it to them. and keeping it's simpleness is important, too.

3177164 I see where you're getting at. But, still. When someone talks, you put a space between the sentences. Other than that, I don't see any errors.

Comment posted by worst day with sunny sky deleted Sep 9th, 2013

If you ask some people might help you with some editing and pre-reading.

The story is... Ok. Just needs some work and better descriptions.

I did, I don't think they are not doing their jobs.

It's if like they don't care.
I need a person who can actually pre read and edit well. Anyone?

It's if like they don't care.
I need a person who can actually pre read and edit well. Anyone?

The wall of text just blew my mind. I read this before you published it too. Anyway, it's fine. I have something wrong with my right eye, so I have to wear glasses now. I couldn't see some of the mistakes that well, but, my left eye's good.

No don't kill the story!

You sir have earned a like and a fav

I admire that in a writer however I am biased seeing that I love your story so far.

Finally Celestia gets what's coming to her.

You sir are Prophet incarnate

Thank you for fave n like!
it really means a lot to me.
hard to write this on my phone haha

this pleased me, do keep going.

Tis good scept for beginning... Celestia a god or goddess? Not really my cup of vodka.

Celestia had a huge ego going on at the beginning of the chapter. It's a good thing Prophet beat the shit out of her... to you know knock some sense into her.

Bitch needs to go back to the kitchen... :trollestia:

3187756 I know right it's just pure badass

celestia was just owned in mind and body


So just make her an APC with smoke launchers and with a water cannon:rainbowlaugh:

spelling errors everywhere god dammit how did this get approved while i have better spelling and a basic understanding of grammar but can't get approved?

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