Beyond Repair
BEYOND REPAIR
It's taken four cups of coffee, but as the sun rises on the other side of the front window of the diner I've been parked in for the last hour I feel like something resembling a living pony again. After that blow up with Mom, sleep was out of the question. Sometime around five in the morning I gave up on it entirely and just left.
I'm sort of wishing I could just get on the train home and go, but before I came into the city I made the mistake of planning to meet some West Hoof buddies for breakfast, and I don't want to stand them up. It would be nice if at least one pony somewhere in Canterlot didn't see me as an unreliable screw up. If my parking myself here and picking at the pile of egg, cold cheese, and red peppers that once vaguely resembled an omelette is annoying the lone waitress on duty, she isn't saying so. And she keeps the coffee coming, which has her on my short list of 'Favorite Ponies in Equestria' all by itself. I made a few half-hearted attempts to flirt with her when I first sat down, but I'm pretty off my game at the moment.
Finally, the pair of stallions I'm waiting on walk through the door. Glinting Steel, who's the one who suggested we meet in the first place, and Flanking Maneuver, a unicorn with a blue coat and a perpetual unconscious smirk. With a name like that, he'd needed it to shrug off the merciless combined ribbing an entire class of military cadets could dish out, but from what I remember he'd always given as good as he got in that particular regard. "Original-flavor Cloud! Long time no see," he says as he trots up and offers me a hoof to bump. "How's Ponyville treating you these days?"
"A bit rougher than usual, but nothing I can't handle." I hope.
"I seem to recall that you rather enjoyed things a bit rough at times."
"Guilty as charged. Hey Glint. How's it going?"
Glinting Steel gives me a nod of acknowledgement, content to be the more serious half of their little duo. "Can't complain. Glad I got transferred back here after the invasion, but I swear this city is built on paperwork." He glances down at my plate and frowns. "You already eat?"
"Nah, just got here early and ordered ahead. I'm not in a rush. Here, come on and sit down. The coffee's good." The two of them slide into the other side of the booth across the table from me, and the waitress appears an instant later with her coffee pot and a pair of additional mugs. Once I've given them a chance to get appropriately caffeinated over a few minutes of polite inquiries about families, a little bit of the loneliness I've been feeling over the last few days has already started to fade. "By the way, Glint," I begin after our waitress has had a chance to take their orders, "I just wanted to say thanks for all the support you've given Kicky since she reenlisted. It's not something I was all that crazy about at first, but I know it's meant a lot to her."
Before Glint can respond, Flanking Maneuver snickers into his coffee. "Well, don't go giving him too much credit, Cloud. It's not like it was all out of the goodness of his heart. Right Glint? You've been giving her a whole lot more than support."
He grimaces. "Shut up, Flank."
"Don't spare the details on my account," I say as the allegiances shift and I hop in to join the teasing. "She wouldn't be a very good copy of me if you didn't have a spot on her list of ponies to bed now that she's back. All that training, I'm sure she's had a lot of steam to blow off."
"Oh, he didn't just get a spot on the list. He is the list."
"Seriously you two, come on."
I look back forth between the two of them, feeling like I'm missing something. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Glancing up at me for just a second before returning his uncharacteristically bashful eyes back to his coffee, Glint takes a moment to reply. "Did she really not tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Cloud, the last time Kicky was here for training we ended up talking about a lot of things. She and I are an item these days. Exclusively. Not a fling or a one night stand. I thought we both wanted to build something a bit more serious together. If she hasn't even said anything about it to you, maybe I'm wrong."
“I knew it was too good to be true," says Flank. “I don’t care what tricks you’re packing between the sheets; none can truly tame the legendary loins of a wild Cloud Kicker.” He pats Glint of the back as he he gets a perturbed glance back. “Better luck next time, I guess.”
Thankfully the arrival of a waffle and a short stack of boysenberry pancakes saves me from needing to respond to that immediately, and also gives me a chance to think back a bit. “...She did say something, actually,” I begin, trying to recall just what Kicky had actually been telling me in light of this particular piece of new information. “She asked me if I ever wished the two of us had gotten more serious back at West Hoof.”
“Oh?” His ears perk up again as he takes a bite of a pancake. “Can I ask what you told her?”
“The same thing I told you back then, that I doubt it would have worked. I just don’t think I’m wired to live like that.” I hurry on as I catch his expression darkening ever so slightly. “Only because I thought it was a hypothetical. If she says she’s serious about you I’m inclined to believe her.” I also give myself a mental kick for not noticing on my own. All those nights she went out to the Sun’s Flank with me as a wingmare I’d just assumed she ended up hooking up with somepony else afterwards. And I haven’t been feeling all that frisky since the whole Fire Brand incident; I guess the topic hasn’t been on my mind quite as much as usual.
Glint sighs. “No, I get it. It’s one of the things Kicky and I talked about. Her instincts are to conceal information, and being one of the first revealed ‘lings who tried to integrate probably just reinforced that. She’s got a lot of regrets about what she used to do for her hive. Still, just as she was leaving last time to head back to Ponyville she promised me she’d make an effort, even with the unpleasant stuff. You sure she didn’t tell you anything like that?”
My heart leaps for my throat like it’s making a full-on escape attempt. “Actually, I think she did that too,” I begin with caution. “About a friend of mine she fed on using my shape.”
“Geeze, that is a doozy,” says Flank, digging into the second half of his waffle with no sign of slowing down. My appetite, on the other hoof, seems to have just vanished.
“Well, her letter last week didn’t mention it. So I guess it went pretty well between you when she told you.”
“It... could have gone better. Actually, a lot better."
Glint's pancakes are forgotten as his eyes go wide with alarm. "What did you do?"
"Oh, right, you just assume that whatever happened is my fault. Like she doesn't deserve any of the blame for hiding it in the first place."
"Damn it, Cloud," says Glint as he presses his hooves into his temples. "So what happened?"
"I spilled the truth to my friend," I say. I can't bear to glance up at him, but I can imagine the furious look on his face anyway.
"Why would you do that?"
"I'm..." All these weeks pretending to be fine are proving a tougher rut to shake myself out of than I thought it would be. I almost did it again just out of habit. "Kicky's not the only one who has stuff she's dealing with."
"Is that really the excuse you're going with?"
"Guys, guys, whoa," says Flank, leaning in and stretching a precautionary foreleg between us. Just like that, he's all business. "We're all friends here, so calm down and act like it. I'm sure Cloud had her reasons, even if they were probably really stupid ones." Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy.
"Look, I'm going to fix this. I know I feathered up pretty badly back there, but if I can just sit the two of them down together and get them talking they can smooth this over." I probably sound a whole lot more confident in that idea than is actually warranted; I've never seen Blossom so enraged that she'd outright slap somepony like that. I guess the fact that I dropped that particular bombshell in the middle of the date she and Davenport were on, or whatever it was they dressed up for, probably didn't help any.
"See, Glint? Your fillyfriend's going to be just fine. Cloud knows herself, doesn't she?" After my chat with Aunt Wind I'm not as sure as I used to be of whether that's true, but I don't contradict him.
"Fine. See to it that you do," says Glint. The food is mostly gone, and the greasy-faced clock hanging above the griddle in the corner of the diner announces the top of the hour. I have a train to catch. Leaving money for my own food along with a generous tip, I bid goodbye to Glint and Flank and turn to go. But I don't get far. "Cloud?"
I turn back to the table. "Yeah, Glint?"
"I still think you were wrong about us back then. I think when you told me you were wired to play the field you were selling yourself short. Yeah, you have a big heart, but that doesn't mean there's nothing out there that's big enough to fill it."
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm actually struck dumb. My mouth works uselessly trying to formulate a coherent response, but luckily Flanking Maneuver comes to my rescue. "Dude, give it up. Your dick isn't that big."
I burst out laughing as Glint rolls his eyes with a sigh. "Shut up, Flank," I say between giggles. "I'll catch you guys next time I'm in town, okay? My Aunt wants me back a couple of weeks from now; let's do this again then." And with that I'm off, breaking into an eager trot as I head towards the train station and home.
------------------------
I do manage to snag a nap during the first part of the ride home, thank Celestia. Should get me through the rest of the afternoon at least. When I wake up and find myself with some more time to kill before we're due to arrive in Ponyville, however, I pull out the journal Aunt Wind gave me for a closer look. It's pretty nondescript, with no particular design nor a title adorning its wrinkled brown cover. I suppose that's a good thing; if Aunt Wind is seriously expecting me to pull this out at a minute's notice at a bar or in the office better that it's something that doesn't scream 'everyone look at the crazy pony!' when I do. Does she really expect me to fill half of this thing before I see her again, though? Suppose I should get started.
Dear Diary or however you're supposed to start these things. I wouldn't know. When I was younger and Mom or Dad handed me quills and parchment it was because they wanted an essay on clan history, or maybe for me to sketch out a battle plan to besiege a well-fortified couch fort. I seriously doubt any pony has ever saved a kingdom by writing in a diary, after all, but I'm willing to give this a try anyway. Mostly because I don't want to find out what you'll do to me if I don't.
So, right, feelings and stuff. Well, you can definitely put 'Guilt' somewhere pretty high up on the list after my breakfast this morning. Glinting Steel made it all the more obvious why Kicky has been avoiding me since I stabbed her in the back.
Okay, I'm back. I had to take a couple minutes out after I wrote that last part to calm myself down. I think I'm starting to see why part of my homework was to notice when I feel stuff rather than deny that it's building up. If I start to get angry like I did back in office it's better to catch it early and nip it in the bud, right? Makes sense. Speaking of angry, I got mad enough to start yelling again last night. I'm sure my mother has already given you her side of the story, which no doubt contains the phrase 'worthless, ungrateful brat' in more than a few places. I so didn't need to deal with her after I'd just come from talking to you. I did manage to push her from zero to furious in near-record time, though. I may not be able to make her feel much for me, but I can definitely make her feel that.
If I don't change the subject soon this entire diary is just going to end up being the words 'my mother' copied across every page. It's more productive to think about how I'm going to fix things between Kicky and Blossom. I guess that given their history taking them both out on the town and maneuvering them into waking up in bed together is right out. You can't fight banging with banging. I don't think so, anyway. Although it sounds like something I'd be open to trying sometime. But Kicky's apparently decided that it's all aboard the monogamy train all of a sudden, which totally blew my mind to find out. Just another reason she's 'the good one,' I guess. Me, I'm still not seeing the appeal of artificially limiting yourself to one partner. Really, I don't see why you'd limit yourself like that in any aspect of your life. Something better could come along any day, and do you want to end up passing on something great because you're tied down to something that's just pretty good?
I guess I could keep going, but the conductor picks that moment to come through and announce that we're getting close to Ponyville, so back into my bag the diary goes. Not too bad of a start, if I do say so myself. This psychology stuff is easier than Aunt Wind makes it sound.
I disembark from the train with renewed resolve. I have the whole afternoon in front of me and a clear goal to attack as I head back to my house. Walking in, it sounds like somepony is rummaging through the closet around the corner. So at least I don't have to draw her out of her bedroom. Peeking around the corner, I confirm the blonde tail and the copy of my cutie mark just to be sure. "Kicky? I'm home."
The rummaging noises stop for a moment, but then start up again without a word from her.
"I know that how I treated you the other day wasn't right, and I’m really sorry. You deserved to at least decide how Blossom found out. You were right about Aunt Wind too; I put off talking to her for too long, and you paid the price."
She emerges from the closet's depths with a dusty old scabbard that probably hasn't seen the light of day in years. Her eyes pass right over me like I'm invisible as she walks over to the chest of drawers where we keep all sorts of odds and ends, pulling open one of the junk drawers.
My confidence starts to slip, but I decide to try another angle. "Glint told me that you two are an honest-to-goodness couple now. Any gossip? I'm all ears."
She pulls an old rag and a little half-empty jar of metal polish from the drawer, and shifts the scabbard up onto her shoulder. Without a word to me she walks away, heading straight for her bedroom.
"I had a really nasty fight with Mom, too. I hate to admit that she got to me, but she did. It's kinda knocked me for a loop, to be honest. You have no idea how much it would help if you'd stop for a second and just—"
Her bedroom door slams shut hard enough to rattle the frame, and I hear the lock click behind her.
"—talk to me."
This may turn out to be harder than I thought.
With my afternoon plan entirely upended, I decide the next best thing I can do is check in on the other half of this ongoing disaster. I head for the weather offices hoping Blossom will be there when I arrive, but instead the place is empty except for Rainbow Dash's office. She's actually doing paperwork for once, too, which is a pretty unusual sight. But I guess with me out of the office for the last few days and her own trip to Canterlot on Element business there's probably a backlog. "Hey Dash, Blossom around?"
"Lunch. Should be back pretty soon. Pull up a seat; you can help me with these expense reports while you wait."
"Lucky me." Still, if I'm going to be making somewhat regular trips to Canterlot to see Aunt Wind it couldn't hurt to do some extra pitching in. "So did I miss anything while I was gone?"
"Eh, nothing too major. Biggest thing was that Flitter spotted some more changeling drones lurking around the Everfree. They're pretty persistent."
In rushes a spike of anxiety at the twin mentions of changelings and their Everfree lair. That's a mental note to add to the journal when I'm done here. "What happened with them?"
Dash lets out a cocky scoff. "What do you think? I totally swooped in to save the day. Gave them a smack down they won't be forgetting anytime soon. Oh, and Twilight helped too I guess."
"Not the worst pony to bring along for backup," I say, stamping my signature into the paperwork three sheets deep on the desk. I seriously have no idea how she can so easily pull out exactly the next page she needs in an instant from the morass.
"Backup? Nah, I didn't really need any backup from her. Or the other guards who tagged along to watch the master at work, either. It's just that we haven't even been back from saving time and stuff for more than a couple of days and she's already launching herself into this whole other new thing. What better way to get her to hang around for a while than to put on a bit of a show for her?"
Before I can ask for clarification on what exactly 'saving time and stuff' constitutes, Blossom returns from her lunch break. "Hey Blossom. Good lunch?"
"Yeah, I was starving," she says, hanging her saddlebags beside her desk. "How was Canterlot?"
"Kinda stressful," I admit, which is at least a shadow of the truth. "Got some good advice on how to maybe avoid making mistakes like the one I pulled showing up on your lawn with Kicky the way I did."
Her mouth becomes a hard line at the mention of that name, and the hoof she's rested on the desk digs just a bit deeper into the grain of the wood. "What mistake? She was lying to me for months, and I'm glad the truth came out. I don't have to waste any more time on her now, which is fine by me."
"Whoa, Blossom," says Rainbow Dash, "don't you think that's kinda harsh? I thought it was awesome that you stuck by her right from the beginning, before you'd even gotten to know her."
"Well now that I've gotten to know her I have nothing to say to her."
"Yeah, there's a lot of that going around," I mutter.
Blossom shrugs. “I just don’t need that kind of toxic drama in my life. Especially not right now. I mean, you get it, right? You were telling me about how she was with your family and everything. She might not be a changeling anymore, but that doesn’t mean she’s not still a parasite.”
It’s true that I might have given a rather biased and one-sided account of that first trip to Canterlot where Kicky met the family. At the time it was just something I needed to vent, but now I’m wishing I hadn’t. “She’s your friend.”
“No, you’re my friend,” says Blossom. “She nearly managed to ruin that, too. She broke my heart for a snack and didn’t even have the decency to apologize afterwards.”
“Maybe if you—”
“She’s leaving soon, right?” interrupts Blossom. “For good this time?”
I can only gape at her for a second before my mind catches up. “Yeah, back to Canterlot. After that wherever they deploy her.” I try to lay a wing over her back for comfort, but her own wings twitch and push them away as she turns right back around and marches towards the exit.
“Well, I won’t miss her when she’s gone. You can tell her that if you want to. I’m heading back out. I’m sure there’s a cloud somewhere that needs to be smacked around. Other than the one living with you, that is.”
Rainbow Dash, quick as ever, bolts over her and stands between her and the doorway. “Actually there’s some paperwork I could really use a hoof with. Why don’t you pull up a chair and just chill here for a little while?”
Blossom shoves her aside, and Dash is too surprised to react in time to keep her from plopping down onto her plot. “Or maybe you could do your own bucking job for a change instead of dumping it on us. I’m out of here.” With that Blossom spreads her wings before she’s even through the door, forcing her to twist a bit awkwardly to clear the frame, and takes off for parts unknown as soon as she has empty sky over her head.
Dash and I watch her through the window as she disappears behind some buildings to the south. “Look, don’t worry about it,” says Dash. “She’s just been kind of moody these last few days. It’ll blow over.”
I don’t reply. I’m not all that sure that it will, but I think I was mostly right before. This is absolutely going to be a lot tougher to fix than I thought it was.
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Another case of splitting one planned chapter into halves, both because I want to update a little more regularly and I need to push the timeline of where this story is vs the events of Fate forward to avoid getting bogged down.
YAY EAKIN!!!
I like this chapter. It makes Cloud seem even more psychologically challenged! :D
eakin, I didnt know you have been writing a CK fic, how have I missed this for so long?
this is good, because there hasn't been a classic winningverse fic centered on CK in so long (kinda tired of reading about sunset and shadow)
good on you
Well, that's an ominous chapter title.
So when exactly is this taking place in relation to Twilight's adventure through time?
Gee, maybe because it was my friend's right to know?
Btw, I very much like Blossomforth's rage
5901935
One of the reasons for the gigantic delay before the previous chapter is that I want to include another Special Guest Narrator chapter covering Celestia's perspective on the dinner she had with the Mane 6 in chapter one of Fate. I might still add it in later, but we're still in the first chapter of that before she starts hopping timelines. The next time Cloud gets to Canterlot will coincide with Twilight returning for her showdown with the Regalia.
Missing quotation mark
5901971
Cloud knows she didn't handle the situation well, and Glint is biased in his filliyfriend's favor. Blossom does have every right to be pissed off, though. Especially since she has some other stuff going on in her life right now and doesn't need any added stress at the moment.
I hope Cloud will not be able to fix the relationship Blossom/Kicker. It's easy to forgive something distant, but it's very personnal in Blossom case
Cloudy, please. Apologise to them both properly next time. Letting feelings brew is never a good thing!!!
Up
^
Mess
^
Cloudy
5902102
She didn't handle the situation well? If anything I'm surprised she didn't force the confrontation the second she got the news; it may have been the recent trauma, but I thought she cut her double a lot of slack.
*Reads title*
Oh, no...
Well, I expected worse. Like, Cloud being beyond repair. Still, this whole situation is a complete mess. I think that should be Cloud's actual talent: Attracting problems.
Now, allow me to translate the lasts chapters of Reigh. Yeah, I haven't done those yet XD
5901930
I'm afraid you may have to keep waiting, as this isn't actually a Winningverse fic.
5902537
Apologize for what, exactly?
For forcing a liar to reap what she sowed with her silence?
5902831
Other than she was practically forced to. What with an insane ruler who gave just enough intelligence to allow her particular brand of predatory insanity to be normal growing up? And orders were absolute?
Can you blame her (like Azalea and Scootaloo) to keep quiet about all the bad stuff they did under all that horror (heck Chrysalis used Scootaloo and probably others, to go after pedophiles who preyed on the young for food. And made all Changeling think everyday on all that they hated, consuming them).
Now they have friends, things they can actually love and care about. And knowing how horribly wrong things can, and have gone for themir kind. Do you really think they want to spill the horrible things they did, and were forced to do?
I'm with 5902537. Cloud needs to do things correctly. And really work on fixing her mess.
5902924
Frankly, I think any choice in the matter is illusory at best.
Secrets like that are too powerful: if you don't defuse them quickly you can only wait for them to blow up at any moment, more dangerous as the time passes. They blew up in Azalea's face, though she got extremely lucky, and they did it again, spectacularly, in Kicky's face. Actions have consequences.
And they shouldn't remain buried. It would be monumentally unfair for the ponies who got used.
So, no; Cloud might have a lot of issues to address (one of the thing i like the most of this fic is how she ISNT an enormous Karma Houdini), but I think this mess is all on Kicky's hooves.
5903022
Yet we see why they kept them secret. I mean, Bon Bon Clone was attacked, ostrasized, and ended up so wrecked that her life is in tatters. Another one, unnamed, was driven to suicide. Azaelea got lucky, but it was such a close call. Kicky, knowing how bad things could go. Told Cloud, wanting things to be made right.
Here's where it's more Cloud's fault than Kicky's. Sure, her actions have consequences (although how much of it was her choice? And how much the queen's madness?), but she was wanting to make things right. Cloud could have set things up so that the truth would come out and Kicky could keep her friend, or at least explain things and work through it.
But she intentionally did things the worst way possible, at the worst time possible. So as to hurt Kicky, in a way she knew was going to be the most hurtful way possible.
That was Cloud's fault 100%. Kicky's actions were in the past. When she was very much literally a totally different being (re-read the bit where Scootaloo is watching the sun rise, and talks about what being a Changeling was like pre-EoH bomb). Her present self, shouldn't be judged by her actions pre-pony clone (you wouldn't make Scootaloo go to jail for all the beings she's assassinated, before becoming a pony would you?). Her trying to make ammends, and doing the right thing should have consequences. In that you are right.
But Cloud deserves most of the blame for how it turned out. In that she did her actions in the present time (not past), and did so knowing that it was going to hurt Blossom, and destroy Kicky's heart in the process. Heck she wanted Kicky to hurt. So no, it's not all on Kicky's hooves. For her past actions, before she utterly changed via magic friendship doom bomb, she should be held somewhat accountable. At least work on fixing things (which she wanted to do), but Cloud for intentionally destroying that friendship and doing things she knew was goingto cause as much pain as possible? She deserves blame as well and should seriously appologise / work on fixing the consequences of her more curreent actions (rather than what Kicky did ages ago).
'lings?
I've been trying to read the original fics for Cloudy from this point, but it's I can't get past the introduction of them since they are not yet developed into proper characters, with that happening later on
5903058
I could agree with you if there was any indication that Kicky was considering making amends. Instead she just dropped the bomb on Cloud and took her out for a night on the town.
She had no intentions of making things right, she just wanted to unburden herself, adding another secret to the pile that was sending Cloud's life even more out of control. Kicky probably expected another fight, but something was already broken inside Cloud.
Foot, meet landmine.
Good question actually; what happened to all the other victims of changelings and their relatives? How do they cope with the fact that the killers are out there, scot free, because they are not the killers anymore? Lots and lots of counseling must have been going around in the reset-verse. Still, it's the same universe where you can attempt a global extinction event twice because you feel neglected, get shot by a rainbow and get back on the throne, so my point is probably moot.
5903098
'Lings' is short for changelings
5903179
While I still say they are both in the wrong, and Cloud does need to fix things (And Kicky needs an actual chance to fix things), I can settle with a we'll see, what we'll see. Hopefully it's as good as the rest of this fic so far. Ekins usualy does a good job in wrapping up problems and conflicts. Even if his characters have to go to the depths of Tartarus and back before things are made right.
As for the series of questions at the end. I like the shot by a rainbow comment. Although depending on how you look at it, she was possessed by a parasitic spirit that used her as a meat suit (and can't be held 100% accountable), or served a 40 generation imprissionment after being driven insane from dark magic (which is a thing about criminals. If you aren't mentally sound, you aren't 100% accountable (And serve time in a mental institution until you're deemed safe for society (so never)). And was pardoned when freed / made sane by the rainbow blast.
But the Changelings, so many problems, and from what we see on our side. A lot of changelings who get found out have their lives utterly destroyed by angry mobs / civvies who go after them until they (lings) kill themselves or are left with their lives in tatters. And those are just the ones who are just found out that they were Lings. Not the ones who were murderers, assassins, or like Elizabeak (psychotic, and violently insane).
I think my problem with Kicky is that she began to take Cloud's accommodating and supportive nature for granted. Even granting her a diminished responsibility for her actions as a Changeling, she seems to be ignoring the fact that Cloud was her victim as well as Blossomforth in using her image to take advantage of A dear friend. She really has no business getting pissed off at how her victims reacted to news of her crime.
Could Cloud have handled it better? Absolutely. And I certainly understand her guilt at possibly ruining a friendship by reacting as she did. But Kicky's anger suggests that she feels she was entitled to Cloud reacting better and helping her break things gently to Blossomforth... Cloud wasn't just being petty, she was reacting to a serious wrong that Kicky did to her and her closest friend, filtered through a long-strained emotional state.
Kicky's admission did not go well... that's unfortunate, but no reason to resent the ponies she wronged in the first place.
So I'm totally enthralled with everything you've written related to hard reset and it's really inspiring to me as a new writer.
How long does it take to write a chapter for you, inspiration?
And when will the next chapter be ready for this one?
I'm reading your stories over and over even at work...
Need the next chapter!
Lol
5903217
Aye, we'll see :)
For the Luna situation, I was more referring to the fact that she's back in a position of power: where I live, if you committed certain crimes you won't be able to apply for a job in the state administration, or to obtain a gun license. But I imagine being a demigod, and a potential stability source for the other demigod that we dearly, dearly hope will not go through the same mass murdering phase, might skew the balance a little.
As for the 'lings, I'm deeply conflicted. Scootaloo is a special case, since she didn't replace anyone (if she did, that would have put her so far over the moral event horizon she would be the singularity), but the vast majority of them was revealed either when assaulting someone (and in the reset-verse there were casualties, unlike in the show) or at the ready for some backup plan, all the while wearing the face of someone's friend or loved one and keeping said friend or loved one in a cocoon in some basement.
Can't say I blame the civilians one bit for freaking out. They have a right to be angry, have a right to a catharsis, but they need professional help to pin the blame on the true culprit, the now dead queen.
I'd like to formally put forth the notion that you might want to consider adding the [sad] and/or [tradgedy] tags.
5904328
I both agree with that statement. But that's also the kicker. No pony wants to think of the dead queen, since it'd put everything they have done into question. Making them the villians they are acting like rather than the strawponies the Clones have become. Sure what they were forced to do, and in a very real sense brainwashed into seeing as normal. Were horrible things, attrocious things. But with the queen dead, they both need professional help, ponies before they end up doing something stupid, or evil. Which some have already done. Lings to overcome the horrors having a consciousness dregs up + abuse from ponies.
5904424
While I agree on the fact that both need help, and that persecution of the ex-changelings for their nature (not their current actions or omissions, though) is abhorrent, I think your point depends on the narrator perspective we enjoyed in the other stories: the only pony that knows the brainwashing for a fact is Twilight Sparkle. To everyone else what the changelings say are just claims they "only followed orders".
Someone might accept that, someone might think trusting individuals professionally trained in subterfuge and duplicity is a suicidal idea, even if the princess says so, because they managed to fool her twice already, why not a third time?
Btw, if anything my sympathies go to Sweetie Drops: she got the worst of the initial reaction against changelings, but managed to pull herself together enough to administer a spectacular smackdown to Cloud's friends. Pity the transition from black-ops to candymaker seems to be too much for her to bear.
Edit:
Also, who thought it could be a good idea to allow contacts between a living pony's double and the pony's family?!
5904869
But Sweetie Drops didn't turn her life around. Last I remember, she was a miserable, shattered wreck. But yeah, she did get the worst of the initial reaction.I think it's high time that Twilight had a hoof in this story, at least give a world wide press release that the Changelings were brainwashed and forced to do their various attrocities (and if she speaks to Scoots, not just Azalea) as well as give Ex-lings some ammount of support.
Since she's the one who experienced the worst of it. Many, many times over. And ended falling in love with an Ex-ling.
As for the bright idea. I think that was either Twilight's (she talked Azalea into talking to her folks), or it was one of the Princesses probably. Feeling more optimistic about their little ponies than the situation warrented.
5904869
It was probably a judgement call on the Princess' part to allow duplicates to stay in contact with their friends and family, but what's the alternative? Cut them off from every pony they love right in the middle of an incredibly difficult transition period?
5904075
It really depends. Sometimes I can stare at a screen for an hour without making progress and sometimes I can pound out 7500 words in an afternoon. It all comes down to having the inspiration and getting into the flow of it. I'll try not to keep you waiting on it for too long though.
5904888
I wouldn't call Sweetie Drops a wreck exactly; Azalea was a wreck. Sweetie Drops has a lot of spite driving her onwards, and at the bar scene she seemed able to control it; sadly after that the only mention I recall is that "she drew away three marefriends", so this control may be slipping. Hope she fixes it, and herself in the process. I'd like for her to be able to say to the ponyvilleans "I saw you ponies at your worst, when you precious harmony has shattered. Lyra was going to murder me here, in the open, and you were all perfectly fine with the idea. I know, I know, you had your reasons, and they were actually pretty good too. Still, kindly go and buck yourselves, will you? I'm here to stay."... or something like that.
Azalea was dead, though. That's another can of worms altogether, one I'm getting an headache just thinking about.
5904890
But this is stopping the transition. Let's look at Kicky: she's become alternate-universe-Cloudy and Cloud's mother used her to replace her own daughter (the scene with Cloud's armor made me shudder: good job Eakin!). This is toxic as all hell, and while this situation had a lot of preexisting issues, it's a safe bet that many other family reunions went something like that.
A clean cut would have hurt a lot more in the short term, but would have allowed the changelings a healthy start to a life free of baggage and out of the shadow of the 'originals'
Man, it's good to be reminded of what good writing is. The previous chapter moreso, but still.
5905121
Dude she was more messed up than you talk about her. Lots more.
The only one that somewhat came out on top was Scootaloo. Despite all the horror, her past, and things she's going through.
She reached out to and helped many Lings who are in need of help. She healed herself, and found a way to cleanse herself to a degree. Got found out, and those who know her still care about her, and she still has love and friendship.
She's the only one that's came out on top, to any degree.
As for them needing a clean break. They have memories of the origional, can't escape the fact that they look like / sound like / have memories of / Have mannerisms forced upon them of their originals. No matter where they go, what they do, that'll follow them until death. Other than the few who're trapped as animals or fewer who're in original forms.
There's no such thing as a good choice, or good call in this situation. Other than mandatory psychological visits for all those effected. But past that, even if you feel it's toxic. Any choice will end up poorly, or in tragedy for some, or great loss / fear for many. With only the very rare case coming out on anythIng resembling on top. That's just a fact.
Interesting. These "duplicate" ponies are definitely not just duplicates.
Come on Glint, regardless of how different Kicky is now that's she's not a changeling, Cloud's friend has every right to know that the pony she thought she had sex with wasn't that pony at all at the time. It raises painful questions about how to handle all the other ponies that unknowingly had changeling sex, but I'm 100% certain that the correct answer isn't "ignorance is bliss".
Conversation with Kicky? Zero progress. Conversation with Blossomforth? Possibly even negative progress. This could be going better.
5905674
Scootaloo got lucky. She got lots and lots of help, just like Kicky and Azalea. The only help Sweetie Drops got was Cloud stopping Lyra from killing her in a rage. And yet, she's still fighting.
About the originals shadowing the copies until their death... Kicky is going monogamous.
I think we can safely state the changelings are not 100% accurate copies of their pony templates.
And of course there is going to be pain; my aim is to minimize it.
5906319
She developed that eventually, but not at first. It took months and months for her to get to that place in her life. But she got a support group, and second family to help with that transition. And yes personality wise they eventually become their own pony.
But it took months to get there. Even then she has a lot of mannerisms (that she's slowly changing). But she looks just like Cloud. A quick cut would change nothing. Either they were introduced to others in a safe environment, with their originators (or non-Lings) backing them. Or they got shat on by life. Bons is the complete cut version you go on about. Yet in the actual canon of this story, she resentful, miserable, filled with hate, and goes through partners at a self destructive pace / manner.
Her pain wasn't mInimized. Neither were those Lings who were found out, and were cut off from pony forms of support / a support network their originals had.
You are seemingly purposefully looking at the bad of Kicker and how life's been going for her. Yet theIr really is no good call.
Quick and Full Cut: Changelings are seen in fic canon as being afraid to reach out to others, or do so with trepidation. We heard of suicides (without a support network to help them), pain that has led to self destructive behavior, and depression. As well as a high rate of prosecution.
Very few make it in that side of things (so far only Scootaloo. Even she came close to not making it.) And it takes a lot of work. If a more stable support network was formed, and a setup to integrate them into pony society. It could work. But other than the Clone Army, there is no current integration set up. Mostly due to Pony Xenophobic Paranoia (canon in the show too).
What's been done so far: Clones have found love, forgiveness in some areas, and a stable support network. We are seeing were things are hitting a rocky point. But it has given the semblance of hope ... although when it fails it fails hard. And in the worst ways possible (just like clean cut). But nothing irrevocable.
The only real good call, that won't happen: All of them ponies and Clones need psychological counciling. A ponyXling integration and support group (non military) needs to be set up. Twilight needs to let everypony know that the clones when Changelings had 0 control over their actions. And the Princesses need to be more active in the lives of these newest nationals / ponies.
But between only two (cut or not), the Princesses really had no good call. The one we have is the best of two bads. Since it at least cuts down on the suicide count as well as helps them through their traumatic experiences. Not add onto it. Unhealthy? To a degree (not as bad as your making it out to be). Best long term solution? Not really. Could be better? Definitely,
But in the end, this is the hoof we're dealt, and if you need to re-see how bad Drops has been. I'm sure the author can show the full cut route. Although I will say I hope Bons gets a better deal in life. She didn't deserve all that.
5906533
Well, to that I say that the clean cut can be done either with a scalpel or with a rusty bonesaw: Sweetie Drops got a bone mandible and best of luck.
As for the rest, I'm sorry but I can't see anything not horrible coming from a mother (unconsciously? can she be this dense?) replacing her daughter with the new, fresh copy she just got. If contact has to be kept, this kind of attitude must be rooted out with extreme prejudice.
5908011
She didn't replace Cloud though. She even says so. Cloud's mom even goes on to say what has caused Cloud to think her mother sees her as nothing more than a disappointment.
Cloud's mother has only ever wanted Cloud to commit to something and give it her all. She really doesn't care if Cloud fails spectacularly, just as long as she can say she really gave it her all. It was never about Cloud not being in the military.
What you're thinking about, is Cloud's projection of events. Pre-heart to heart.
Re-read the last two chapters, and listen to what the mother says.
Cloud wanted to (and admits to purposefully) piss her mother off; She says she feels that she's replacing her with Kicky (this is the point you stopped listening to the conversation); Her mom sets her right; Cloud doesn't want to hear the truth. So (admittedly) infuriates her mom in the worst way she knows how (just like she hurt Kicky and Blossomforth the worst way she could think of. See a pattern there?).
That's where this chapter comes into play.
Things were not perfect. But they aren't as bad as you're making it out. Sure Azalea is technically replacing the dead daughter. But then again, if you had a child that died. And we're given a replica of that child (unhealthy sure, but logical.). Wouldn't you want that second chance? But you're problem was with Cloud's mom (said herself isn't replacing Cloud), rather than Azalea (did replace dead child).
5904898 how do you do first person so amazing? I can't get it right. It always gets convoluted and loops over itself... Is there a trick to it or are you just a natural at that?
5908242
I quote: "Would you like me to explain why I’m proud of your sister and not of you? [...] It’s because she’s chosen a path, committed herself to it, and given her all in the pursuit of it. Can you say the same?" She. Is. NOT. The. Sister.
Cloud's mother doesn't deny the replacement, she merely states the how and why; she has her own ideas on how Cloud should run her life (not talking about the guard, but the ambition, the drive), she didn't manage to make them stick, and now she's doing the same on Kicky, who appears to be more receptive for unspecified reasons.
And for the Azalea scenario... note that I don't speak from personal experience, and I dearly hope neither do you, but this is how I feel it would go, at least for me:
First of all I would ask if she had any hand in the death of my daughter.
If not, I would politely explain to her that she's not my daughter. I should know, I was there when she was buried. She is just a poor soul who received a face and a set of stolen memories. I don't blame her, at least not in my head.
But in my heart... it hurts, you know? She looks so much like her. Even the way her eyes dart here and there when she'd rather be anywhere else. They got even that right. The bastards got even THAT right, and I'm sure I don't want to know what ELSE they got right and WHY, because otherwise I'm going to murder someone.
So no, she's not my daughter. Saying otherwise is an insult to her memory. But she doesn't have to be. She's a kind, spirited girl who lost her parents and is having the worst time of her life. I had a daughter like her. Now it's not the right moment, but if she could come back in a couple of days, we may try and start again on a different note. I can't promise anything, but we'll see what we can do.
But first, I need to beat the crap of whoever had the brilliant idea of ripping that wound open.
... or something like that.
BetterSafeThanSorryEdit:
Of course any heat in that rebuttal is directed at the hypothetical situation, not at you. I rather enjoy this debate :)
5908478
Same here (enjoying this). Although Azalea's parents took a slightly different route (it wasn't clear with her. Although she did say that things went well. Not really the healthiest relationship, but they act as if they have a second chance. And Azalea has a family to replace the family (technically) all the lings lost.
Calling Kicky a sister, is not the same as replacing her. Rather, since it is a clone in every sense of the word (starting out). Cloud's mom decided that she'd treat her as an innocent bystander of those events, and as her own individual. Which means that technically being a Clone, could be considered a sister / relative.
And that quote didn't say she was replaced. Rather that the real reason for her disappointment (something that until now was never really given any information on. Just that Cloud felt that her mother saw her as a walking disappointment for not being a gaurd. And Cloud really didn't like talking to her.). By calling her a sister, and saying why she's proud of her. Is not the same as saying, "you're dead to me," or "I wish she was my real daughter," or something along those lines.
That would be replacing her. Awknowledgeing her as a part of the family, Is simply her taking in a poor soul who resembles her real daughter, and giving her a shot at life. If Kicky turned out to be like Cloud. She would be equally disappointed, but would know where those actions came from. If she didn't do the guard thing, but gave her all into something else. She would be just as proud as if any of her daughters commited to something.
That's a huge difference from replacing.
And it's not uncommon for a person to have an extended family they aren't related to. People they see has family, and are seen as part of the family. Her words are of a similar nature. As well as the clones who have landed in with a built in support network. They may not be blood related, but they were forced to be stuck in a body of a friend, family member, or a loved one.
Those who get the few ponies who look past who they were Before the change. It's psychologically healling. Doesn't undo the PTSD, or psychological trauma. But they have ponies who look after them and keep them from going down darker paths. And get something similar to the extended family bit. They may have been born a Ling, but when they were reborn as ponies. You either ended up with those who saw them as monsters / were ostracised (and their lives ended up horribly / a life shatterin struggle from what we've seen for most), or they get assimilated as a member of the family (other than Azalea, none are looking as replacements) and are treated like a son / daughter. Being seen as family though, regardless of pride or lack of it. Isn't replacement. Cloud was given a mirror at which to look at her own life. And instead of introspection, decided to go for low blows and hostility.
5908851
Well, Cloud's mother does wash her hands of her at the end. After saying she would love her if only she was more like Kicky, which is pretty much the lowest a parent can possibly get without resorting to mechanical devices, even in normal circumstances.
As for the lack of introspection, I think we may need to suspend our judgment: something happened to Cloud Kicker when she was about to join the guard, something we only saw bits and pieces of in her dreams. For all we know she already made an informed decision, we just never delved deep enough in her brain.
5909901
She really didn't wash her hands of her. She still has a place there, and no matter how disappointed Cloud's mother is, she still loves her enough to consider her, her daughter. edit:* By the fact that she awknowledges her as a daughter, and talks to her. Even if it only ends in anger. She hasn't fully given up hope. OR she'd be apathetic rather than disappointed.*
I know she's not the first mother to use the whole, "Why can't you be more like your [insert sibling]?" Line. It's so common that it's practically a cliche (and cliche's are cliche's because they are true.) So again, it's not replacing. And if she sees Kicky as her child, just as much as Cloud (familialy). Then it goes to say that just like all those other siblings around the world. One will be compared to the other at some point.
What they really have is an abilitiy to press each others buttons, and an unwillingness to sit down for civil discussion (with a mediator. They really need one). But yeah, we don't know why Cloud left the guard. I'm sure that would change how her mother thinks, or at least give light to the entire situation. But it's definitely something that has effected Cloud Kicker.
5908420
What do you mean by convoluted? I'm pretty concise, and generally try to avoid repeating information more than once. Can you point to a sample of your first person stuff, even just a couple paragraphs, and explain what you think isn't working?
5908851
5908478
Without spoiling too much, I do plan to get Az and Cloudy to Trottingham to meet Azalea's extended family further down the line. I can tell you that they see new-Az as basically the original raised from the dead, to an extent that Azalea actually feels a little uncomfortable with.
5910330
Really?I thought in the Twilight PoV story she ended up getting along with them? Or does that happen after being uncomfortable with them at first? That honestly will be interesting to see.
5910341
It's not really that they don't get along, she loves her parents and is more than happy to be welcomed back into the fold. It's more of a nagging sense that they don't quite get (or want to get) that she's a distinct individual from the daughter they buried. Still hammering out the details in my head.
It also won't be the trip she took with Twilight. Limitation of sticking to a limited first person POV, I guess.
5910626
So that trip (with Twilight) I take it came at a later date than this upcoming trip?
Seriously this is a good fic so far. Stiring up a lot of intellectual debates that I hope get answers some day. Will we ever see more Scootaloo, and Sweet Drops? I mean I feel for Scoots, but what ever happened with her attemtps at making a Changeling Support Group / Contacts? Did she help get some monsters sent to jail, or is she still struggling on getting a few of them? And what of Sweet Drops? Last we saw she wasn't doing to good (although, things could have gone better. What with Lyra almost killing her, and her life going down the drain shortly after.)