• Published 8th Feb 2015
  • 2,219 Views, 126 Comments

Hoofprints in the Mojave - bluemoon1996



A changeling ends up in the Mojave Wasteland after a failed teleportation spell, and meets the courier at the beginning of his journey.

  • ...
7
 126
 2,219

It's not stealing if he's dead

"Doc? Doc? Are you alright?" The feminine voice in the other room called out as Doppel slowly got up and onto his feet.

It took several face plants and a lot of swearing but he eventually reached the prone form of the doctor. Doppel kicked the geezer a few times and nothing happened.

Doppel got down on one knee and checked the doctor's pulse, "I thin-"

"Rosebud!"

"Yeah, he's dead," Doppel said flatly as the still flickering aura around the man died out.

"Dead?! Shit," she said, her voice drawing closer as doppel got to his feet, "look, we need to get out of here ASA-"

She stopped mid- sentence as Doppel turned about to find himself face to face with the voice's rather confused owner.

She was the same kind of creature that the now dead doctor was. She was a giant compared to Doppel, standing nearly two feet taller than him. Her skin was a light shade of brown and haircut in a short, tomcoltish style. Green eyes examined Doppel as the look of confusion on her face turned to one of utter fascination. And she did something Doppel that completely surprised him.

*poke*

"Umm.... What are you doing?" Doppel asked as she suddenly began poking him with a crutch.

"Science."

*poke**poke*

"By poking me?"

"Yes."

"With a crutch?"

*poke*

"Could you stop," Doppel said already getting annoyed.

"Are you some sort of alien? Where do you come from? What species are you?"

"I guess, Equestria, and Changeling," he answered, a bemused look on his face, "and n-"

*poke*

"That's it!" Doppel growled, taking no more of her shit. He grabbed the crutch and tossed it across the room, "no poking for you!"

She gave him a small pout before shrugging and smiling, "who cares! I'm talking to an alien!" She giggled with foal-like glee.

"I can say the same. First off: where the fuck am I? Second, who the fuck are you and what the Tartarus are you and our dead pal here?"

"We're in the Mojave Wasteland; Goodsprings to be precise. My name's Katarina but you can call me Kat, and I'm a human!" She stuck out her hand, a smile on her face.

"Doppel," he replied, shaking her hand.

'Mojave? There's no place in Equestria I know of called the Mojave! Where did that spell drop me at? Am I on another wo-?'

*poke*

He just sighed as she started poking him with a finger. This was was going to be a long day.

...five minutes later...

*bang bang*

"Hey Doc you in there?"

Doppel jumped at the sudden knocking, dropping Doc Mitchell's ankles as he was dragging the body down the hallway. Eyes widened in fear, he looked over at Kat who was in the process of strapping some sort of metallic thing to her forearm.

She looked behind him at an open door across from the bedroom as a plan formulated in her mind; a utterly stupid plan but a plan none the less.

"How good are you at farting noises?"

... Hello , I'm a scene change!...

Easy Pete banged on the door once more, "Dagnabit! Mitchell, open the door! I need my pills!"

The door cracked open and out came Kat's hand holding a blue bottle with a big red cross on it, "here's your pills," she said simply.

"Wait?" Easy Pete raised an eyebrow, "who in the Sam Hill are you?"

Kat stuck her head out the door, "I'm that girl who got shot in the face." She then frowned, "I'm helping Doc Mitchell because he came down with a bad case of the shits."

As if on cue, a very loud and very wet sounding fart could be heard from inside the house. "Oh sweet god, it's on my shoes!" Doc Mitchell's voice cried out from inside.

Easy Pete frowned, "Well, tell him I wi-"

Another fart cut him off mid sentence. "Ew! Ew! Ew! It got on the walls!"

Pete cringed at this and was about to say something as yet another fart ripped through the air; this one lasting nearly a full minute.

Kat shook her head, 'this one is just overdoing it.'

With that, Pete quickly hobbled back to the saloon, claiming that someone might steal his seat if he didn't hurry back.

Kat waved goodbye as she shut the door and turned around to a snickering Doppel. "The last one was total overkill," she said with a serious face, before she started laughing as well, "you should have seen his face."


"Yeah, Kat. This totally screams 'hey, don't pay attention to me!'." Doppel said sarcastically as he looked at himself in the mirror.

Kat, in an attempt to cover up Doppel's.... well, everything, had practically covered him head to toe in various bits of clothing.

"Well, if you don't like it, go out there completely exposed. I'm sure it won't bite you in the carapace plated ass," she said sarcastically.

'Coming from the girl with the big twenty one on her back,' Doppel thought to himself as he began to remove clothes. Kat was wearing a garish blue and quite tight jumpsuit that had a large yellow 21 stitched into the back.

Soon, Doppel had removed most clothes she had haphazardly wrapped him in. He rejoined Kat wearing a red sweater underneath a leather jacket that had the sleeves torn off and brown pants. He wore an off colored white hat and a bandana was tied around his neck.

"You ready to go now princess," Kat smirked tossing the changeling a bag loaded with supplies that Kat had 'appropriated' from the house. It's not stealing if he's dead; it's not like he isn't going to be needing those pork n' beans anymore.

"Well let's get going," he nodded as he put the bag on, "where are we going anyway?"

Kat dug a folded up piece of paper from her pocket and read over it. "We're going to...Primm," she stated, "that's where this says I got the job at."

When our two misfits stepped outside, they were blinded by the harsh light of the Nevada sun. After a few moments, they saw Goodsprings: the Riverwood of the Mojave.

"Howdy Partners!"

Doppel let out a rather lady- like shriek of terror, jumping behind Kat as he saw a giant metal thing rolling towards the two of them, a cowboy face on it's television monitor.

"You must be Victor I presume?"

"Yes siree Ma'am," the cowboy securitron said, coming to a halt in front of the duo, "and the fella hidin' behind ya must be the one that fell from the sky four days ago?"

"Yeah, don't mind him though. He's an idiot."

Doppel's eyes widened in surprise, 'Four days! That means I haven't fed in nearly two weeks!' As if to accentuate the point, a stab of pain emanated from the bug's stomach.

"If anyone's the idiot, it's you!." He retorted, peeking out from behind her, "I scored like three points higher than you in intelligence on that vigor machine thingy."

Ignoring her changeling companion, Kat gave the robot a polite smile, "Well, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Victor."

"Likewise friend, likewise. It's also fine and dandy to see that all your dogs are still barkin'. Bulletheaditus ain't usually got many survivors; seems you just had a light case of it."

"Say Victor, could you tell me where," she paused for a second, "where I was buried."

"Yes ma'am I can." He rotated so that he was facing towards the north end of town, "up there by the water tower in the old bone orchard."

"Thanks."


"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHOOT!"

"I SAID I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHOOT YOUR GU- HEY! IM RELATED TO YOU! EAT HER FIRST!"

Their trip to the Goodsprings cemetery had been less than ideal. The minute our heros had arrived, a giant radscorpion had come clattering in from the north and immediately tried to eat them. Let's face it, they're far too low leveled to deal with even a baby radscorpion. Now; they were hanging halfway up the water tower trying their best not to lunch for an overgrown insect.

Kat would have facepalmed if her hands weren't wrapped about the rusty metal in an attempt to hold on for dear life. "You have wings! Can't you fly back to town to get some help!"

"I would if I could but I can't okay!" 'If only I could use my magic, that thing would be a pile of ash by no-'

His thought as cut off as a stick of dynamite fell past his head. 'Shit Shit Shit!' he thought as he clinged to the metal tightly.

An explosion rocked the hill as ichor and giblets splattered as the scorpion's right claw was obliterated by the explosives.

"Ew, ew, it's in my mouth!" Doppel cried out in disgust as he received a face full of 'sploded radscorpion.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Kat screamed in annoyance. The radscorpion was not dead; the loss of his claw had only pissed it off and the giant bug was now doing its darndest to sting Doppel.

"Anymore bright ideas?!" Doppel yelled as he scooted up the rusted support beam.

"Just don't shoot the tail," she ordered, hitting the radscorpion below with a few well aimed shots from her 9mm.

Doppel's attempts at shooting with his laser pistol were less than successful. Only five of his nearly twenty shots actually hit their intended target and did little to no damage.

"Why don't you hit, you peice of crap!" He screamed in annoyance, chunking the pistol at the scorpion. The gun bounced off it's carapace and landed in the dirt beside it before suddenly fired, hitting the bug in the side then it exploded into ash.

Both Doppel and Kat just stared at the sight, slack-jawed. "I...what... How the?!" Kat managed to blurt out as she tried to formulate words.

"I take it back," Doppel said happily as he got off the water tower and ran over the pistol. Brushing off the vaporized radscorpion, he began kissing the weapon, "I'll never badmouth you ever again!"

Kat just rolled her eyes as she climbed down from the and passed by Doppel; stopping in front of a recently dug human-sized hole.

She sighed, looking down at her grave till she noticed something shiny half buried in the recently upturned earth. Curious, reached for it and pulled out a cigarette lighter. But not just one old dime-a-dozen Bic, this baby was a fancy as hell engraved one; it bore the logo of The Tops casino and rolling it about in her hand, she saw words carved into the back.

"If found please return to Benny: The Head of the Chairmen, at the Tops Casino," she said out loud, before turning back to Doppel, "Blacky, I know where we need to go!"

The changeling gave her a look. "Blacky? My name is Doppel and you know it," he said flatly.

"But first I'm going to teach you how to shoot."

Author's Note:

Edited by Greycait

Comments ( 66 )

Let me guess, Doppel has 10 luck? Oh. OH! He has the jinxed trait! Maybe both!

I really, really loved that combo in Fallout 2. Made the game hilarious.

5630828

Never played FO2

but I can say his agility is high while his strength and endurance are low

Welp, I feel for the poor guy,forced to eat his own kind...I wonder what perks He'll get

And what he'll spend his skill points i- they don't have a pipboy,do they?

5630839

she does but he doesn't

and I will say that he gets better charisma

5630847
Also that Easy Pete scene...
Poor guy isn't going to seein Mitchell for a while....or ever.

5630859

Don't worry, I have a plan for doc mitchell

5630875
Let's see where "Courier Six" and Doppel go! I can't wait for the third chapter!

a giant radscorpion had come clattering in from the north and immediately tried to eat them.

Yeah, those things can be a real pain in the butt.

5631320

fallout: when it tells you to not go north it means it

"Blacky"... I just need the hive mind and I'm golden. Good chapter.

5632168

:rainbowlaugh:

Also, thanks for the fave

"Yeah, he's dead," Doppel said flatly as the still flickering aura around the man died out.

Damn it, Doppel! What did I just tell you last chapter!? *sigh* Oh, well...LOOT EVERYTHING!!!

5632183

Well anything of value :P

5632191
meh, I'm one of those people that likes to take anything that isn't nailed down. I'm especially bad about it in Skyrim.
Why, yes, there ARE 76 Brooms in that chest. Why do you ask?

I really doubt a random changeling has the power to vaporize a radscorpion.

5632198

larceny is in your blood

5632203
what? nooooo.... It's like you said in the story: it's not stealing if they're already dead. If they're not, well, I have ways of fixing that :pinkiecrazy:

5632202

No, it was his las pistol... Dop is running on fumes at the moment


5632208

Stabby stabby

5632211 No, he said if he had his magic he would have easily vaporized it.

5632237

Ahh, well he could just blast it with fire till it's ash.... Wait, that's the plan for Cazadors

Can Blacky- that is what I shall be calling him now- change into other human shaped creatures?

5632244 Really bro? That ability would have been really useful during the invasion.

5632296

He wasn't in the incasion

5632321 What I'm saying is that their is no evidence of them having that ability.

I have to ask, are we doing side quests?

5632392

Yep, and I at least have plans for old world blues

5632398 nice, and I loved the 'Blacky' drop, thank you.:twilightsmile:

5632361 I just noticed your profile pic is of one of those creepy ponies from the new season.

5632537 Go back from whence you came!

Not taking the Pip boy? isn't that like, a plot crucial thing for the Dead Money DLC and Honest Hearts DLC? not to mention that no sane wastelander would just leave one lying around

5638286

She took it, the whole bit about her strapping a metal thing to her arm

"Yeah, he's dead," Ddoppel said flatly as the still flickering aura around the man died out.

really man :ajbemused:

I love the title name XD.

"Dude! Are you stealing!?!?!?!"

No.

"Yes you are!"

It's not stealing when the dude is dead!

"................All right. Seems fair."

5650565

And its technically not stealing even if he is alive :trollestia:

5650574 And that just makes it more funny XD

*Gasps* Ohmygosh, I inspired something! :rainbowkiss: How have I not heard about this yet?

Two moments that really stood out with this chapter were the scene where Dop was pretending to be Doc Mitchell with explosive diarrhea, which had me laughing on the floor. Also this,

... Hello , I'm a scene change!...

That was perfect.

While I did find quite a few similarities to my own story in the opening chapter, I won't go saying "U copy-pasted my stuff. Boo hiss." because I can tell right off the bat that Dopple is not Stross, nor is Kat Fenora and so forth (And you credited me, which is very considerate). This is clearly your own story that you're putting effort into, and I hope to see it continue.

I also wonder what perks these two will be getting.

5652048
static.tumblr.com/cafaaca98184bbd7987e715b3f3a7b85/hlvo6xc/oeCmt2nmt/tumblr_static_picard-full-of-win1x8k2z_zpsb01d0b2e.jpg
:pinkiehappy: The guy who inspired this fic comment on it

I will say that they may or may not eventually be getting a cazador as a pet:derpytongue2:

5652048
I smell a fad coming on.
Or a whole new -verse where changelings get thrown into Bethesda games
Or games with character creation in general...
Dammit now You inspired me!

5652751
Speaking of fallout in general...
I foresee shennigans on the I-25.
Because you know
Deathclaws or naw.

5668017

wait till cazadors XD

5667995 Wow, that would be awesome.:pinkiehappy: I'd especially like to see one of Dragon Age or Mass Effect (two of my favorite games of all time.)

Login or register to comment